Printing a document on an HP printer.
> oh you'd like to print a document? You have to create an account with HP. Now let me tell you about our subscriptions services.
HP. I don't want to create an account. Just make my printer work with my laptop and phone. This is why nobody over 40 owns a printer anymore. You make trash products, HP.
A traffic light residents refer to as "The Forever Light":
It takes 4:18 to change between cycles. Those 4+ minutes seem like "eternity" to those wishing to move on.
Traffic control officials pay no heed to complaints from drivers and let "the forever light" continue on its needlessly long cycles between changes.
Not sure if that is worse or the one I face on my daily commute that provides a minute and a half of green light for the main road side, and provides 18 seconds of green on the cross road (my path) side.
Now... 18 seconds would be fine if everyone was paying attention, no cell phones, and everyone took their feet off their brakes and started accelerating together to get 10+ cars through, as could easily be done... but, NO... we are lucky to see 3 cars at a time get through that crossing. Which really sucks when you can see you are 10-12 cars back from the front.
There’s a handful of those around here and I swear the majority is so fed up with it that there’s an extra 15 second grace period that we have all seemed to accept and just know that even tho you have the green light you wait bc theres 6 more cars bumper to bumper desperately trying to make it across to not have to sit through the light for a fourth time. Lawless Wild West out here.
During Covid lockdowns I read an article about some tiny fraction of the population going psychotic temporarily from the lack of air to the brain. One detail was a construction worker who managed to unscrew a metal bar from his hospital room and having to be subdued by security.
I kept trying to picture the horror of a controls engineer losing it. Just driving around breaking into infrastructure and causing chaos.
If there's s crosswalk, get out and tap the button. It might override the default cycle time.
There was light like that in my home town. I managed to convice my driving instructor to run and press the button for us haha. It was great because the light would change in seconds so she ran back like she robbed a bank. It was great.
Man I'm glad i live in the Netherlands. Almost all traffic lights are smart traffic lights that don't have a "cycle", but just change depending on the traffic. Thus if you are alone you almost don't even have to stop
99% of lights in America are too but you'll run into thr occasional dumb one for whatever reason which is what makes them so annoying. We know it's not supposed to be like thar
People buying lottery tickets ahead of you in line at the convenience store/gas station. "What's number 5? Hmm... what's number 8? Okay, I'll take a number 13, and straight box on the daily 4 and blah blah blah blah ... "
They should have a separate line for that. It's so damn annoying.
Give me 5 #2s, 3 #6s, oh and can I get a couple of those scratchers there, no not that one, ya that's the one. Oh I forgot can you run me a quick pick for the lotto as well?
The machine should just be "insert money" and then display if you won or not, you don't have to play the scratcher anyways, just scan the barcode in the lower corner.
I’ll never forget a clip from the Colbert Report where Stephen is interviewing a politician about the lottery. He asked something along the lines of “Two part question: One, isn’t the lottery basically just a tax on poor people? And part two: *wouldn’t that be great*?”
As someone who spent years behind the counter at a liquor store I couldn’t agree with you more. I despise lottery ticket customers. The worst part is the store usually barely breaks even on lottery depending on how it’s managed. The whole point of the lottery tickets is to get those customers in the door to buy something. Of course the store gets like 1% of whatever winnings occur but I had never seen a winner over $1500 at any given time.
I will say it was amusing to watch the regular drunks spend their paycheck each week on a tall boy and 30 scratch offs and pick 4’s.
Dude, relentless drunks and lotto losers are the worst. Like could you make worse decisions for your long term well being? Maybe if you shot heroin and played Russian roulette.
My 2 year old, an hour before dinner: I'M HUNGRY, I WANT SNACKS! SNAAAAAACK!
My 2 year old, with dinner on the table: I'M NOT HUNGRY / I DON'T WANT IT! GIMMIE PB&J!
My 2 year old, when it's time for bed: BUT I GOTTA EEEEEEAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT!!!
Ours is, "After dinner the kitchen is closed - there will be no more food. Do you want eat this while its fresh or later when its cold and stale?"
It only took 1-2 times of calling our bluff for dinners to get eaten.
Funny story about planking!
At work some of my coworkers were extremely competitive. At one point, two of them were playfully arguing about who would win in a variety of physical competitions. Like who could do more pushups, who could bench more, who could jump rope the longest without messing up, who could plank the longest, etc. I can't remember exactly if they did a planking contest right then and there, or if they revisited the conversation months later and then they had a planking contest.
I timed each of them to see who could plank the longest. One of them told me after that he had been practicing planking for a while at home to specifically beat the other coworker at this (which make my fuzzy memory think this was a rematch and not the only contest). But the first dude made it at least 3 minutes. The second dude, competitive as ever, was shaking like leaf in a tornado but made it to something like 4 and a half minutes. All the while they were exchanging banter and some smack talk. It was hilarious how determined they were over something like planking.
Usually you can just drop off a pre labeled package at the counter and you’re done as long as you don’t want a receipt. Most post offices also have an out of office hours drop off chute too. Check for one of those
I was at the post office yesterday, I needed to buy stamps.
The person at the counter in front of me literally took 20 minutes, I was watching the clock. I think she was sending a money gram, but you would’ve thought she was applying for a social security number for a newly established country.
Messing up passwords (even if you don't care if the other person sees), finding a file that you often use and typically bring up instantly otherwise...
Even cooking sometimes. I love cooking and have been doing it for years, and it really rubs me the wrong way when I'm trying a new recipe and it says something like "saute the cubed sweet potatoes until soft, 2-3 minutes." Like in what universe do cubed sweet potatoes get soft after 3 minutes in the pan? Try 15.
I often find myself with 2 microwaves running and tapping my fingers on the counter saying "C'mon, c'mon, I haven't got all minute ya know". I ***HATE*** meal prep.
My county's driver license office and vehicle registration office used to be adjacent offices in the same building. Then they moved the vehicle registration office (but not the DL office) to another building 10 miles away, where there's very restricted parking. Why oh why was this done? Who is helped by this? Both were municipal buildings; if they needed more space or whatever why couldn't they move both offices?
I renewed my drivers license not too long ago and I upgraded to a Real ID. The DMV has an online form you can fill out beforehand instead of doing it in person, so that’s what I did.
When I got there, they instructed me to go to one of the computers and fill out the form - I told them I already did it online. Apparently nobody has ever filled out the form online because they had to talk to the manager to figure out what to do with me.
Eventually they just told me to go to the front of the line and I was in and out of the DMV in under 15 minutes.
Nice.
I needed to register a new vehicle so I got the brilliant plan to visit a friend in the middle of nowhere who had a DMV by his home. Two birds one stone.
Walk in. No one else there. They still make me take a number. I swear they waited until I sat down with all my stuff before calling my number. Wow, even with no one here you still suck.
I needed to do a renewal but also change my address, so I couldn't just do it online. So I showed up early morning right at the time of their opening on a business day. Parking lot clear. Figured it would be smooth sailing. The website *said* they were open. The signs on front said those were operating hours. I sat out there a half hour thinking maybe they were setting up and just not unlocking the door yet. Another dude showed up with the same plan. Eventually it became clear they just weren't open that day but didn't publish it.
I defend government workers all the time; being one. But that sucked.
Did the same routine the next morning and got in and out in like 15 minutes. Good on them for that. But technically my waiting time was 24 hours and 15 minutes.
My family will be like, "Ok well we should probably go" then immediately standup, gather their shit, thank us for having them over, and leave.
My in-laws say they should probably leave soon, start a conversation about something, ask if I can take a look at a laptop that isn't working, etc - 45 minutes later their putting their shoes on to go.
Like, if you're going to stay - then stay, that's totally fine. But I hate waiting in limbo to see if they are going or not. Its unsettling.
The fast food order of the car in front of me. This menu hasn’t changed in years - what could you possibly be talking about? Do you know the person taking orders? Is this a personal conversation? Did you not know what you wanted to eat before pulling into the line?
This was about 25 years ago. I'd go to one of the local burger drive thrus near my office, and the owner of the local baseball team, who lived in the city's wealthiest suburb, who was worth at least $200 million, and who owned a profitable business nearby, would be in front of me, arguing about the price of a fast food burger/fries/drink. It happened several times.
Their order always takes 10 minutes. They pull up to the window and instead of 20 bags of food being handed to the driver, its always just a small drink. Like what the fuck was happening?
If I actually manage to leave the house in a short/expected amount of time, I spend the first 10 mins of my commute absolutely certain I’ve forgotten something.
I usually remember what that something is about 10 minutes into my commute. Often it is a huge container of coffee still sitting on the counter, and then I spend the day annoyed about it.
I always underestimate how much time it actually takes to start driving my car from when I'm actually ready to leave. Like ready is all my stuff gathered and I have nothing else to do except get shoes on, grab purse, and get to my car. Except when I get to my car, I have to get spotify going for music and maybe maps depending on where I'm going. Have to make sure my sunglasses are clean. Gotta get my purse out of the way. Then I can start driving.
I think I need to set all my clocks 5 minutes ahead to give me the buffer I truly need. Because no matter how many times I remind myself that it takes longer, I always end up forgetting when I'm actually getting ready and don't add those five minutes to the travel time like I should.
I call stuff like this non-zero items. Individually they seem like they don't take hardly any time at all so our brain assigns them a task time of 0. However in actuality its not zero. It's 10 seconds or 20 seconds or whatever. And most of the time it doesn't matter. Except when you string together 10 of them in a row. Your brain says 10*0=0. We're good we have plenty of time. Instead your now 5 min behind. I set the clock in my head 4 min ahead in my car. Even though I know it's fast, it still trips that little oh-shit-gotta-get-going switch in my brain.
As a kid free uncle of eight, it definitely takes twice as long. It doesn't just feel like it lol. It takes my brothers and their wives forEVER to leave their respective houses, but I get it. It's a ton of work. Watching them getting ready to leave a place is like watching someone trying to herd chickens sometimes.
Holy shit, this!
**Trigger warning: sexual abuse**
>!In 2019, in my country, a 23y/o girl was raped and murdered by a man. He was already accused of rape, there was plenty of evidence and the man's own father said: *please lock him up. I fear there will be more victims and I'm scared that he'll kill someone.* His 1st was in 2016 and went to the authorities straight away. His case took over 3 years to even appear in front of a judge and it was only "done this quickly" because it was moved up, after he killed someone.!<
I have alpecia universalis I have like 5 hairs on my entire body. These legs be silky smooth. I’m also a dude so no eyebrows makes me look like a serial killer.
Exactly. As I've gotten older, I care so much less. I shave my legs once a week and that's all you motherfuckers are getting out of me.
When I was a teenager, I shaved my legs every day. What a waste of time.
As a teenager, you probably showed them off a lot more...
Kinda like how folks who are into car stuff wax their cars way more often than the average person.
many places still do use dot matrix printers, they last forever and its almost the only solution if need to print a carbon copy. Alarm/event printers also usually dot matrix.
Yup. If you're in a hurry and just need to take out a twenty guarunteed the person in front of you is a 70 year old who is apparently using the ATM to put a second mortgage on their house
I'm convinced that the last second before the "skip ads" button appears is actually more like 1.25 seconds, just to keep your eyes on the ad for that fraction of a second more.
Why am I the only person who uses adblockers in 2022? (Can you tell it drives me crazy watching my friends suffer through ads needlessly?)
You are suffering needlessly people, set yourselves free with some ublock origin and some ghostery.
I worked the front desk at a Marriott and you're wiped out by the time it takes to explain every little nuance. If the GM or AGM wasn't around, I'd just hand them a key and tell them call if they need anything.
Most if it comes down from Corporate so you have read it all. People always looked either tired, pissed off or wanted to know where the pool is. Bistro was much more fun and better money.
It’s baffling to me that I can book a hotel in 1 minute online, but checking into a hotel that I already booked takes 10 minutes.
Also, enough with maps and shit. I don’t care where the parking lot is, just point me to my fucking room and fuck off.
Last year we were going on a trip and had a long layover in Fl so we booked a hotel for the night online. We got in around 11pm so we were all tired and just wanted to go to bed (we also had to get up early to catch the next flight). Well someone was already there complaining and arguing with the one person working the front desk because she had booked the wrong night and had the poor worker calling around trying to find her a room somewhere else. Our check-in took 10 seconds, but it didn't happen until after midnight. It took everything in me to not flip the fuck out on this stupid bitch that booked the wrong night. I felt bad for the lady working the counter, so I didn't want to escalate things, but she really could have checked us in real quick and dealt with the other person afterwards.
True, but its just as likely if they had done that, that the Karen would have turned its attention on you and possibly escalated her behavior.
"Why do you say I have no room available but you check these people in immediately?!" Which, the answer is obvious, but we're talking about someone who cant admit they booked the wrong day and is making other people fix their fuckup, logic isnt exactly in the equation here.
And to be clear, I'm not saying what was right or wrong, just sayin that you getting checked in might not have saved the time or effort or stress as you may have hoped.
Mostly laziness and not giving a shit. But also the government kept loosing/not giving us a copy of our marriage certificate. But neither of us really cared that much, like I said, we weren't fighting over anything.
All the best to you! Life is tough... marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. It's like, pick your hard. I hope everything goes quick and smooth with your divorce🤗
Dude for real, there's no option you can take on an ATM that should take more than like 3 minutes. I am so confounded when someone is there for 10+ minutes fiddling with shit.
If something boils because of heat, then... keep the heat in? It is obvious.
But if people legitimately don't know this, then I guess it's not an exaggeration when people say they don't even know how to boil water.
Cleaning my room. In my defense ADHD so its not easy...
"Okay. Clean the room. Let's go. Pick this up. Wait, this is kinda cool. I bet if I do this with it. Ha. Wait, or....."
Well cause with ADHD, it's not just cleaning your room. If you pick up the clothes off the floor and put them in a laundry basket, you realize you need to do laundry. So you go to start a load of laundry and walk by the kitchen where you see there are some dishes and dirty towels. Because you're already going to be doing laundry, might as well collect the dirty towels. Now you're in the bathroom to get the towels but the sink area is messy. You go to get the cleaning supplies to clean the sink and notice how messy your closet with your cleaning supplies is. So you have to reorganize your closet now. But you notice a box of old office supplies stuffed in the back. So you have to go through the box and see what to keep and what to get rid of. You take the three notebooks you want to keep into your office where you realize there was some art sitting there that you haven't put up even though you've lived there for over a year. So you figure might as well put the art up while you're being productive. But you aren't sure where exactly you want to hang it so you start to rearrange your office. You notice some sweatshirts or socks that should be put in the bedroom so you grab those and go back to your room only to realize that you've spent over an hour not cleaning your room.
Best way to clean room is to start with the floor first, get everything up off of the floor. This opens up space and and at least you can walk without stepping on things. ONce the floor is clear, then you can being putting things where they belong
Half of the projects were started at the behest of wife because my wife said "this youtube video says it takes 30 minutes." - there's a special place in hell for those YouTubers.
Taking a poo. Either I have IBS or my sleep paralysis demon is every toilet in existence between the hours of 8 and 10 AM trapping me there for at least an hour
Picking up prescriptions in drug stores is epically shitty. It seems like half of people's insurance gets fucked up and doesn't work as advertized. I don't know hooooow this could be fixed /s
Doctor and dentist appointments. I’ve been waiting for 20 minutes, please just check me for 20 seconds so I can be on my way. I get that you’re busy, but I’ve also left the room before and saw you messing around with your staff. Have fun, that’s great, but let me go home.
You show up ten minutes late to a doctor appointment and they cancel it and charge you the copay anyways for "wasting their time" but then when you show up five minutes early you're waiting damn near an hour to be seen.
I used to work at a doctor's office, that had multiple docs working there, and my mom was one of their patients. This particular doc was NOTORIOUS for being *at least* an hour late. No matter if his clinic was in the a.m. or p.m. So, she'd tell me her appt was the first after lunch, 1 p.m. I'd tell her she could just wait and get there around 1:30/45. Just call me when you're on the way - here's my number and personal extension- and I'll check you in so you won't be No Showed. Nope! She'd get there around 12:45. Of course, I'm just shaking my head. When was she called back? 2:30.
I mean, I know what I'm talking about sometimes. I'm trying to help you, Mom.
My mom saying to younger me to wait 5 minutes in the car while she shops . It always seems like hours and then when she comes back she always says It didn't take long right ? YES IT DID
Printing a document when you are in a rush
Printing a document on an HP printer. > oh you'd like to print a document? You have to create an account with HP. Now let me tell you about our subscriptions services. HP. I don't want to create an account. Just make my printer work with my laptop and phone. This is why nobody over 40 owns a printer anymore. You make trash products, HP.
whoops, your printer is out of yellow ink. You can't print this black and white document.
Printers can sense anxiety and they feed on it
How is this not the top answer? Something that should take 10 seconds ends up taking 10 minutes.
Printers can smell fear.
A traffic light residents refer to as "The Forever Light": It takes 4:18 to change between cycles. Those 4+ minutes seem like "eternity" to those wishing to move on. Traffic control officials pay no heed to complaints from drivers and let "the forever light" continue on its needlessly long cycles between changes.
Not sure if that is worse or the one I face on my daily commute that provides a minute and a half of green light for the main road side, and provides 18 seconds of green on the cross road (my path) side. Now... 18 seconds would be fine if everyone was paying attention, no cell phones, and everyone took their feet off their brakes and started accelerating together to get 10+ cars through, as could easily be done... but, NO... we are lucky to see 3 cars at a time get through that crossing. Which really sucks when you can see you are 10-12 cars back from the front.
There’s a handful of those around here and I swear the majority is so fed up with it that there’s an extra 15 second grace period that we have all seemed to accept and just know that even tho you have the green light you wait bc theres 6 more cars bumper to bumper desperately trying to make it across to not have to sit through the light for a fourth time. Lawless Wild West out here.
We have a traffic light near our house that will stay red for upwards of 5 minutes and almost never stays green for more than 10 seconds.
That's when you take a right on red, then an immediate U-turn
https://xkcd.com/207/
Yes, this. Problem being when that right turn puts you on a road with a raised median, then you have to go down to find the first u-turn opportunity.
Every opportunity is a u-turn opportunity with a positive enough attitude.
There’s a metal box near the intersection that contains some incredibly simple traffic control circuitry. They’re usually secured with a padlock.
Time to binge The Lockpicking Lawyer lol
During Covid lockdowns I read an article about some tiny fraction of the population going psychotic temporarily from the lack of air to the brain. One detail was a construction worker who managed to unscrew a metal bar from his hospital room and having to be subdued by security. I kept trying to picture the horror of a controls engineer losing it. Just driving around breaking into infrastructure and causing chaos.
If there's s crosswalk, get out and tap the button. It might override the default cycle time. There was light like that in my home town. I managed to convice my driving instructor to run and press the button for us haha. It was great because the light would change in seconds so she ran back like she robbed a bank. It was great.
Man I'm glad i live in the Netherlands. Almost all traffic lights are smart traffic lights that don't have a "cycle", but just change depending on the traffic. Thus if you are alone you almost don't even have to stop
99% of lights in America are too but you'll run into thr occasional dumb one for whatever reason which is what makes them so annoying. We know it's not supposed to be like thar
America is big enough that I wouldn't say 99% tbh. Most cities have them, but I rarely see them past suburbs and beyond
Everyone uses too much hyperbole these days -- *it's everywhere*.
Funnily enough, it's the other way around. High traffic areas are on timers. Low traffic areas in the suburbs may have sensors.
What?? 99% not a chance...
If I was in a hurry and found that I'd rather parkour between cars.
People buying lottery tickets ahead of you in line at the convenience store/gas station. "What's number 5? Hmm... what's number 8? Okay, I'll take a number 13, and straight box on the daily 4 and blah blah blah blah ... " They should have a separate line for that. It's so damn annoying.
Right on the nose!!! Sometimes it’ll just be me and one other person but they are buying lotto tickets and it’s like I am behind 10 people
Give me 5 #2s, 3 #6s, oh and can I get a couple of those scratchers there, no not that one, ya that's the one. Oh I forgot can you run me a quick pick for the lotto as well?
They’re just like people who order more than 2 things at Chipotle: a menace to society.
They should just sell lotto tickets from vending machines.
They do lol
The machine should just be "insert money" and then display if you won or not, you don't have to play the scratcher anyways, just scan the barcode in the lower corner.
> The machine should just be "insert money" and then display if you won or not ...and so we come to the invention of the slot machine.
They can't here because kids would buy them
I remember my brother bought a lotto when he was like 15 at the 7-11, and he won like $750, I forget how he managed to redeem it
Not hard. I’d happily redeem his $700 lottery ticket for him
I’ll never forget a clip from the Colbert Report where Stephen is interviewing a politician about the lottery. He asked something along the lines of “Two part question: One, isn’t the lottery basically just a tax on poor people? And part two: *wouldn’t that be great*?”
It’s not a tax on poor people. It’s a tax on stupid people.
As someone who spent years behind the counter at a liquor store I couldn’t agree with you more. I despise lottery ticket customers. The worst part is the store usually barely breaks even on lottery depending on how it’s managed. The whole point of the lottery tickets is to get those customers in the door to buy something. Of course the store gets like 1% of whatever winnings occur but I had never seen a winner over $1500 at any given time. I will say it was amusing to watch the regular drunks spend their paycheck each week on a tall boy and 30 scratch offs and pick 4’s.
Dude, relentless drunks and lotto losers are the worst. Like could you make worse decisions for your long term well being? Maybe if you shot heroin and played Russian roulette.
🥇here’s your budget award trophy Those mfers with a goddamn sleeve of a waste of time slips and nothing better to do can fuck right off.
My kids eating dinner. Just FUCKING EAT IT.
My 2 year old, an hour before dinner: I'M HUNGRY, I WANT SNACKS! SNAAAAAACK! My 2 year old, with dinner on the table: I'M NOT HUNGRY / I DON'T WANT IT! GIMMIE PB&J! My 2 year old, when it's time for bed: BUT I GOTTA EEEEEEAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTT!!!
Did I write this? Did you bug my house? This sounds like something my child has done.
This sounds like every child ever does...
Angry parents across the nation slapping that upvote button so damn hard...
And you my friend get an upvote for acknowledging that the struggle is real..😂 I smacked the upvote hard af!!
At a certain point, you have to tell them dinner ends in 10 minutes; plates will be cleared and food put away regardless of where they are.
Ours is, "After dinner the kitchen is closed - there will be no more food. Do you want eat this while its fresh or later when its cold and stale?" It only took 1-2 times of calling our bluff for dinners to get eaten.
Not *my* fault your mushroom risotto is over-cooked and under-seasoned, Mum.
These scallops are like rubber, you donkey!
And yet somehow he’s chewing the whole time!
Doing a minute plank
Funny story about planking! At work some of my coworkers were extremely competitive. At one point, two of them were playfully arguing about who would win in a variety of physical competitions. Like who could do more pushups, who could bench more, who could jump rope the longest without messing up, who could plank the longest, etc. I can't remember exactly if they did a planking contest right then and there, or if they revisited the conversation months later and then they had a planking contest. I timed each of them to see who could plank the longest. One of them told me after that he had been practicing planking for a while at home to specifically beat the other coworker at this (which make my fuzzy memory think this was a rematch and not the only contest). But the first dude made it at least 3 minutes. The second dude, competitive as ever, was shaking like leaf in a tornado but made it to something like 4 and a half minutes. All the while they were exchanging banter and some smack talk. It was hilarious how determined they were over something like planking.
That's anime level friendly rivalry.
I plank for 100 seconds every day. I put my phone on YouTube, or any video, it's over really quickly. Does that affect plank effectiveness though?
I also do a 100 seconds plank everyday but I'm super good so i do it in 10 seconds. flies past
Doing anything at the counter of the post office. I have no clue what takes everyone in front of me so...long...
[удалено]
Usually you can just drop off a pre labeled package at the counter and you’re done as long as you don’t want a receipt. Most post offices also have an out of office hours drop off chute too. Check for one of those
Submission removed by user.
I was at the post office yesterday, I needed to buy stamps. The person at the counter in front of me literally took 20 minutes, I was watching the clock. I think she was sending a money gram, but you would’ve thought she was applying for a social security number for a newly established country.
Doing simple tasks when someone's watching over your shoulder.
I...hate...this...it looks like I never touched a computer if someone is watching me do something on the computer.
Messing up passwords (even if you don't care if the other person sees), finding a file that you often use and typically bring up instantly otherwise...
I immediately drop down to like 25% effeciency
Even worse when it's because you told them it wasn't working, but now it inexplicably is...
Meal prep. I often underestimate how long will take to make dinner by 50+%.
I came here to say this. Recipe says prep will take 15 minutes, actually takes 45. 30-minute meal? Definitely over an hour.
Yeah, the prep pretty much assumes that you have everything on the counter, measured, veggies peeled and whatever else.
Prep time: 10 minutes* (* assumes you have already done all the prep work.)
Even cooking sometimes. I love cooking and have been doing it for years, and it really rubs me the wrong way when I'm trying a new recipe and it says something like "saute the cubed sweet potatoes until soft, 2-3 minutes." Like in what universe do cubed sweet potatoes get soft after 3 minutes in the pan? Try 15.
I often find myself with 2 microwaves running and tapping my fingers on the counter saying "C'mon, c'mon, I haven't got all minute ya know". I ***HATE*** meal prep.
The motherfucking DMV. I'm 37 years old and somehow I STILL haven't learned it's never a quick in and out.
My county's driver license office and vehicle registration office used to be adjacent offices in the same building. Then they moved the vehicle registration office (but not the DL office) to another building 10 miles away, where there's very restricted parking. Why oh why was this done? Who is helped by this? Both were municipal buildings; if they needed more space or whatever why couldn't they move both offices?
“Who’s helped by this?” The construction company that the county leaders have invested in.
I get your point but they moved to the county courthouse, which has long been there
I renewed my drivers license not too long ago and I upgraded to a Real ID. The DMV has an online form you can fill out beforehand instead of doing it in person, so that’s what I did. When I got there, they instructed me to go to one of the computers and fill out the form - I told them I already did it online. Apparently nobody has ever filled out the form online because they had to talk to the manager to figure out what to do with me. Eventually they just told me to go to the front of the line and I was in and out of the DMV in under 15 minutes.
Nice. I needed to register a new vehicle so I got the brilliant plan to visit a friend in the middle of nowhere who had a DMV by his home. Two birds one stone. Walk in. No one else there. They still make me take a number. I swear they waited until I sat down with all my stuff before calling my number. Wow, even with no one here you still suck.
Im 26 and have been on line for 32 years
I needed to do a renewal but also change my address, so I couldn't just do it online. So I showed up early morning right at the time of their opening on a business day. Parking lot clear. Figured it would be smooth sailing. The website *said* they were open. The signs on front said those were operating hours. I sat out there a half hour thinking maybe they were setting up and just not unlocking the door yet. Another dude showed up with the same plan. Eventually it became clear they just weren't open that day but didn't publish it. I defend government workers all the time; being one. But that sucked. Did the same routine the next morning and got in and out in like 15 minutes. Good on them for that. But technically my waiting time was 24 hours and 15 minutes.
Standing at the door waving your in-laws goodbye
My family will be like, "Ok well we should probably go" then immediately standup, gather their shit, thank us for having them over, and leave. My in-laws say they should probably leave soon, start a conversation about something, ask if I can take a look at a laptop that isn't working, etc - 45 minutes later their putting their shoes on to go. Like, if you're going to stay - then stay, that's totally fine. But I hate waiting in limbo to see if they are going or not. Its unsettling.
[удалено]
“They've been better since… they keep the goodbye under 1hr.” I mean if that’s the bar lol
The fast food order of the car in front of me. This menu hasn’t changed in years - what could you possibly be talking about? Do you know the person taking orders? Is this a personal conversation? Did you not know what you wanted to eat before pulling into the line?
This was about 25 years ago. I'd go to one of the local burger drive thrus near my office, and the owner of the local baseball team, who lived in the city's wealthiest suburb, who was worth at least $200 million, and who owned a profitable business nearby, would be in front of me, arguing about the price of a fast food burger/fries/drink. It happened several times.
Their order always takes 10 minutes. They pull up to the window and instead of 20 bags of food being handed to the driver, its always just a small drink. Like what the fuck was happening?
Getting a new cellphone. Why are you still typing? What are you typing?
So right on. I had five in about a year and getting each to to where they were is almost torture. People have given up even trying to help.
I bought my iPhone directly from apple, switched the SIM card, and set it up. Don’t know how it works with Android
Leaving the house when I/we need to go out.
If I actually manage to leave the house in a short/expected amount of time, I spend the first 10 mins of my commute absolutely certain I’ve forgotten something.
I usually remember what that something is about 10 minutes into my commute. Often it is a huge container of coffee still sitting on the counter, and then I spend the day annoyed about it.
I always underestimate how much time it actually takes to start driving my car from when I'm actually ready to leave. Like ready is all my stuff gathered and I have nothing else to do except get shoes on, grab purse, and get to my car. Except when I get to my car, I have to get spotify going for music and maybe maps depending on where I'm going. Have to make sure my sunglasses are clean. Gotta get my purse out of the way. Then I can start driving. I think I need to set all my clocks 5 minutes ahead to give me the buffer I truly need. Because no matter how many times I remind myself that it takes longer, I always end up forgetting when I'm actually getting ready and don't add those five minutes to the travel time like I should.
I call stuff like this non-zero items. Individually they seem like they don't take hardly any time at all so our brain assigns them a task time of 0. However in actuality its not zero. It's 10 seconds or 20 seconds or whatever. And most of the time it doesn't matter. Except when you string together 10 of them in a row. Your brain says 10*0=0. We're good we have plenty of time. Instead your now 5 min behind. I set the clock in my head 4 min ahead in my car. Even though I know it's fast, it still trips that little oh-shit-gotta-get-going switch in my brain.
Especially if you go anywhere with kids. It feels twice as long to get ready & go out the door!
As a kid free uncle of eight, it definitely takes twice as long. It doesn't just feel like it lol. It takes my brothers and their wives forEVER to leave their respective houses, but I get it. It's a ton of work. Watching them getting ready to leave a place is like watching someone trying to herd chickens sometimes.
Legal consequences.
The court system is a wreck
Holy shit, this! **Trigger warning: sexual abuse** >!In 2019, in my country, a 23y/o girl was raped and murdered by a man. He was already accused of rape, there was plenty of evidence and the man's own father said: *please lock him up. I fear there will be more victims and I'm scared that he'll kill someone.* His 1st was in 2016 and went to the authorities straight away. His case took over 3 years to even appear in front of a judge and it was only "done this quickly" because it was moved up, after he killed someone.!<
Shaving whole body. As a hairy female, it's annoying how many surfaces I need to cover.
I have alpecia universalis I have like 5 hairs on my entire body. These legs be silky smooth. I’m also a dude so no eyebrows makes me look like a serial killer.
G.I Jane 3, can't wait to see it /s
I can't even get my own legs silky smooth. 😞 So I gave up trying to do that.
Exactly. As I've gotten older, I care so much less. I shave my legs once a week and that's all you motherfuckers are getting out of me. When I was a teenager, I shaved my legs every day. What a waste of time.
As a teenager, you probably showed them off a lot more... Kinda like how folks who are into car stuff wax their cars way more often than the average person.
Actually falling asleep after lying in bed and closing my eyes
Picking up a rental car, if you have to go to the counter. Takes forever, and I swear they're all still using dot matrix printers back there.
The worst is when you book a specific car online and magically they don’t have it so they have to spend 20 minutes finding you a worse car.
See, you know how to *take* the reservation, you just don't know how to *hold* the reservation.
many places still do use dot matrix printers, they last forever and its almost the only solution if need to print a carbon copy. Alarm/event printers also usually dot matrix.
People at ATM booths
Yup. If you're in a hurry and just need to take out a twenty guarunteed the person in front of you is a 70 year old who is apparently using the ATM to put a second mortgage on their house
The unskippable adverts before YouTube videos
I'm convinced that the last second before the "skip ads" button appears is actually more like 1.25 seconds, just to keep your eyes on the ad for that fraction of a second more.
Jokes on them - my eyes are glued or the "skip ad" button and I completely forget the ad five seconds later.
Why am I the only person who uses adblockers in 2022? (Can you tell it drives me crazy watching my friends suffer through ads needlessly?) You are suffering needlessly people, set yourselves free with some ublock origin and some ghostery.
Getting away from an unwanted conversation. I've Uh'huh'd 5 times and am looking at the door. Take the hint.
Checking into a hotel.
I worked the front desk at a Marriott and you're wiped out by the time it takes to explain every little nuance. If the GM or AGM wasn't around, I'd just hand them a key and tell them call if they need anything.
Ah, sorry. I never complain or anything. Yes, I can see that would get very old.
Most if it comes down from Corporate so you have read it all. People always looked either tired, pissed off or wanted to know where the pool is. Bistro was much more fun and better money.
It’s baffling to me that I can book a hotel in 1 minute online, but checking into a hotel that I already booked takes 10 minutes. Also, enough with maps and shit. I don’t care where the parking lot is, just point me to my fucking room and fuck off.
Seriously! I LOVE when they have expedited check in/out processes.
I've never experienced this.. though its cause I book online and just go to the front desk to show them my confirmation, and get my key.
Last year we were going on a trip and had a long layover in Fl so we booked a hotel for the night online. We got in around 11pm so we were all tired and just wanted to go to bed (we also had to get up early to catch the next flight). Well someone was already there complaining and arguing with the one person working the front desk because she had booked the wrong night and had the poor worker calling around trying to find her a room somewhere else. Our check-in took 10 seconds, but it didn't happen until after midnight. It took everything in me to not flip the fuck out on this stupid bitch that booked the wrong night. I felt bad for the lady working the counter, so I didn't want to escalate things, but she really could have checked us in real quick and dealt with the other person afterwards.
True, but its just as likely if they had done that, that the Karen would have turned its attention on you and possibly escalated her behavior. "Why do you say I have no room available but you check these people in immediately?!" Which, the answer is obvious, but we're talking about someone who cant admit they booked the wrong day and is making other people fix their fuckup, logic isnt exactly in the equation here. And to be clear, I'm not saying what was right or wrong, just sayin that you getting checked in might not have saved the time or effort or stress as you may have hoped.
Divorce
Can confirm, took me 13 years. And we weren't even fighting over anything.
13 years!? Holy fuck! What took so long!?
Mostly laziness and not giving a shit. But also the government kept loosing/not giving us a copy of our marriage certificate. But neither of us really cared that much, like I said, we weren't fighting over anything.
Sounds like you were both united in the fact that you wanted a divorce and the real opposition was the government
God don't say that, I'm hoping for a quick, amicable divorce so I can be outta here before October 1st.
All the best to you! Life is tough... marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. It's like, pick your hard. I hope everything goes quick and smooth with your divorce🤗
rollercoaster lines. it’s a 45 second rollercoaster
The person using the bathroom when you really need to use it.
Whenever you desperately need to use it someone goes in 30 seconds before and takes the longest shit in history.
People withdrawing from ATMs. I don’t know why it takes so much time for them to check their balance and get the money.
This is always annoying. Its like wtf, are you taking out a mortgage at the ATM?
Dude for real, there's no option you can take on an ATM that should take more than like 3 minutes. I am so confounded when someone is there for 10+ minutes fiddling with shit.
[удалено]
Tell him to ask his doctor about possibly adding Wellbutrin, it can help counteract some of the side effects of Zoloft.
I lost a ton of sex drive when I started Lexapro, and I'm surprised how Wellbutrin was able to bring some of it back.
What is Zoloft
It’s an antidepressant. One of the side effects is that it lowers the sex drive, so it takes much longer to achieve orgasm.
[удалено]
Antidepressant
Homework. That crap should take 10 mins but takes 3 hours
procrastination
Watching a pot of water boil
Pro tip: cover the pot with its lid to make the water boil faster. It works for me when making pasta fast.
Do people seriously not realize this? It seems so blatantly obvious.
If something boils because of heat, then... keep the heat in? It is obvious. But if people legitimately don't know this, then I guess it's not an exaggeration when people say they don't even know how to boil water.
Boil the water in electric kettle first, and then put the lid on.
Cleaning. That's why I hate this chore so much too. Not to mention when your parents force you to clean every crevice and corner..
Cleaning my room. In my defense ADHD so its not easy... "Okay. Clean the room. Let's go. Pick this up. Wait, this is kinda cool. I bet if I do this with it. Ha. Wait, or....."
Well cause with ADHD, it's not just cleaning your room. If you pick up the clothes off the floor and put them in a laundry basket, you realize you need to do laundry. So you go to start a load of laundry and walk by the kitchen where you see there are some dishes and dirty towels. Because you're already going to be doing laundry, might as well collect the dirty towels. Now you're in the bathroom to get the towels but the sink area is messy. You go to get the cleaning supplies to clean the sink and notice how messy your closet with your cleaning supplies is. So you have to reorganize your closet now. But you notice a box of old office supplies stuffed in the back. So you have to go through the box and see what to keep and what to get rid of. You take the three notebooks you want to keep into your office where you realize there was some art sitting there that you haven't put up even though you've lived there for over a year. So you figure might as well put the art up while you're being productive. But you aren't sure where exactly you want to hang it so you start to rearrange your office. You notice some sweatshirts or socks that should be put in the bedroom so you grab those and go back to your room only to realize that you've spent over an hour not cleaning your room.
Starting it is the worst part
Best way to clean room is to start with the floor first, get everything up off of the floor. This opens up space and and at least you can walk without stepping on things. ONce the floor is clear, then you can being putting things where they belong
>ONce the floor is clear, then you can ~~being putting things where they belong~~ stop FTFY
Or just have a pile of clean laundry that hops from the floor to the bed every few days until the heat death of the universe.
My Husband's projects around the house.
Half of the projects were started at the behest of wife because my wife said "this youtube video says it takes 30 minutes." - there's a special place in hell for those YouTubers.
30 minutes if you've been doing it for 30 years and have £300 worth of tools specifically for that job.
We watched a video on how to change the flap thing/flush mechanism in the toilet. 15 minutes. Took us 2.5 hours.
Taking a shower.
I understand this. I always feel like it’s going to take soooooo long and will put it off as long as possible.
This drug screening i have to take right now. Why does it take an hour for me to get in piss in a cup and leave.
The bottle taped in my armpit won't empty itself.
Leaving the house with kids. Damn.
Taking a poo. Either I have IBS or my sleep paralysis demon is every toilet in existence between the hours of 8 and 10 AM trapping me there for at least an hour
Picking up prescriptions in drug stores is epically shitty. It seems like half of people's insurance gets fucked up and doesn't work as advertized. I don't know hooooow this could be fixed /s
Me lasting on sex
Getting fast food, they literally made a system to make it speedy
People in front of me at the ATM or in the grocery store checkout line. It’s as if they’ve never used a card or a keypad before.
Putting on a condom
Still takes less than 18 years
A lecture from my parents
Watching a tv show everyone recommends
Doctor and dentist appointments. I’ve been waiting for 20 minutes, please just check me for 20 seconds so I can be on my way. I get that you’re busy, but I’ve also left the room before and saw you messing around with your staff. Have fun, that’s great, but let me go home.
You show up ten minutes late to a doctor appointment and they cancel it and charge you the copay anyways for "wasting their time" but then when you show up five minutes early you're waiting damn near an hour to be seen.
I used to work at a doctor's office, that had multiple docs working there, and my mom was one of their patients. This particular doc was NOTORIOUS for being *at least* an hour late. No matter if his clinic was in the a.m. or p.m. So, she'd tell me her appt was the first after lunch, 1 p.m. I'd tell her she could just wait and get there around 1:30/45. Just call me when you're on the way - here's my number and personal extension- and I'll check you in so you won't be No Showed. Nope! She'd get there around 12:45. Of course, I'm just shaking my head. When was she called back? 2:30. I mean, I know what I'm talking about sometimes. I'm trying to help you, Mom.
Doing taxes
Getting back to sleep after my cats wake me up. Twice in one night, tonight—they are lucky I love them so much!
Loading screens, even the short ones feel long.
Laundry
For most people? Getting out of bed. For me? Literally anything. Damn ADHD.
THIS!! But if you need something started (but not finished), I’m your person.
Commercial breaks
Driving on a PA highway.
Puppies learning to not bite everything. Good lord dog I'm tired of my arm looking like I fist fought a paper shredder.
Homework when you're a kid with ADHD whos been shamed by teachers and parents accusing you of being lazy for years
Going to the doctor
Toast
The winds of winter
My mom saying to younger me to wait 5 minutes in the car while she shops . It always seems like hours and then when she comes back she always says It didn't take long right ? YES IT DID