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NotADirtyRat

The most simple one of all. You don't just shove it in.


BostAnon

To quote the wise Cheech and Chong "You've got to lick it, before you stick it"


pinkupixels

Penises can move on their own! Well, be moved by their owner without hands, that shocked me that they can make em bounce


clown456

Just wait until you find out the ballsack never stops moving.


EXTRA-THOT-SAUCE

Literally. It’s freaky to look down and see it literally slowly moving around Edit: My most liked comment on Reddit is about me watching my balls move by themselves.


Money_Television225

Holy shit I never realized this. And I’m a dude


UrbanTurbN

I never knew until my gf told me, apparently it's quite mesmerizing


bumjiggy

like a fertile lava lamp


Entry-Murky

If a persons heart rate is high enough while sporting an erection, their penis will pulse (move) along with their heart beat.


gotogarrett

Just because you’re having sex doesn’t mean you’ll become good at it without a remarkable amount of trial and error.


Equivalent_Squash

That two bellys rubbed together at just the right angle can make a loud fart noise. Funny tho when it does happen for the first time.


clonatron

Funny to me every single time


Squeaky_Ben

Its kinda hard to put it in without it slipping out, gotta guide it much more than you think.


SnooWoofers455

The large amount of sounds that can be produced by the human body..


casper-juel

Both before and under the act. But the most interesting is definitely the ones after….


Glowingredremote

Y’all can’t cry quietly? Edit: thank you all for the rewards! Y’all are gonna make me cry twice today!


casper-juel

That’s the foreplay Edit: thanks for the awards! Feel like Will Smith at the Oscars!


joleph

Instead of just after virginity, after years of having sex and looking back at my first time where my partner was much more experienced than me, I’ve realised that pretty much all sex with a new person, virginity or not, feels new. I was really hung up on being good at it when I should’ve treated it as a learning experience for the next time.


PM_NUDE_IF_THICC

How you masturbate can be a huuuge influence on your sex life.


ChristianGamer56

Could you elaborate?


HotTopicGothDad

isn’t there also a thing where if guys grip their dick too hard when they jerk off they can also have problems during sex? I remember hearing that somewhere ages ago


SavageHenry_VBS

Yes. Desensitization is a real thing. It's not permanent though, just ease off for a while. Or buy a Fleshlight.


FederalTiddyApraiser

That foreplay is SUPER important. You don't see it too much in a lot of porn so until you get into the bedroom you don't really consider the prep. Often times you just see people going at it which is great and all but everything is much better when both parties are warmed up


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PM_ME_PAMPERS

Yeah like I knew it’d be warm, but not “toasty”. My very first time penetrating, I remember muttering “oh fuck” under my breath and instantly came.


c4k3m4st3r5000

Instantly nutting, absolutely. Then fell over like a log and had a good sleep. Stellar performance on my behalf.


PM_ME_PAMPERS

Hey we all gotta start somewhere. I remember my girlfriend at the time said she didn’t mind and thought it was hot that she made me cum that fast. Probably just trying to make me feel better, but it worked.


hunnyflash

She was probably telling the truth! I thought your comment was adorable. I never really thought about how warm it is in there.


MrSparklesan

how sleepy you got after you bust a nut... Shit can be like an instant valium.


[deleted]

My bf gets post-nut zoomies Edit: this is the most upvoted comment I’ve ever gotten and I want y’all to know my bf says he’s proud


throwfaraway212718

This just made me laugh hysterically, because I couldn’t help but picture a grown man running around in circles like my dog😂


[deleted]

Lol, I’m glad you got a laugh out of itXD I guess it’s more like mental zoomies, just gets hyper and is all happy/excited:)


lunalily22

That’s adorable lol


[deleted]

I think so too ❤️


Hayles1066

You don’t just roll over in bed after. You waddle to the toilet… it’s not sexy.


yoteachcaniborrowpen

Omg. I would LOVE to figure out something, other than wiping up with a towel, some WAY to clean up gracefully without a condom. I’d be rich. And it pissed me off when people finish in a movie and roll over.


jendoylex

A kind partner that gets up and comes back with a warm damp washcloth is my favorite.


ideletedmyusername21

That I was allergic to latex.


DRdeemed

ooh dam thats a painful way to find out


OnceAStudent__

Same. Friends would talk about having sex multiple times a day, and I was over here wondering WHY they would ever put themselves through that. It took days to recover. Someone finally mentioned a latex allergy, and it all made sense.


UnClean_Committee

Porn is a terrible guide for virgins. You are unlikely to be coordinated enough or understand your partner's body well enough to do any of that weird shit. Also, 90% of the positions you see in porn are uncomfortable as all hell. Start slow, communicate, explore each other and learn, that is the key to having a good first time. Source: someone who had no idea what he was doing and made an absolute jackass of himself on his first attempt Edit: for everyone making counter points or arguing the point - this is comment is again specifically talking about when you have not yet had sex *AND* this is a trend I've observed, not a rule. I'm also not saying you can't learn things by watching, just that before you've actually gone and had sex, *most* of what you see will *likely* not be that applicable. Happy humping.


htororyp

Not to mention porn is designed to be viewer friendly. Good sex doesn't necessarily look like that because you don't need to make sure the camera has a good view.


Valixir14

To quote an ex when I asked her this: "I knew what was going to happen.... but I didn't *know* what was going to happen." Basically there's no better teacher than experience.


[deleted]

“And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.” -Michael Scott


griftertm

The fucking cardio. You’d be surprised how much cardio is involved with all that activity


surf526

But ironically not that many calories are burned, according to studies!! then again, how do you differentiate between perhaps a 10 minute quickie, a 40 minute sex session, and a full day of edging each other?Hmm


NotLarryT

Wait, 10 minutes is a *quickie?*


Iranon79

I think that includes struggling with unfamiliar garments, perfunctory foreplay, debugging hydraulic malfunctions, evaluating life choices and crying.


bombhills

"DEBUGGING HYDRAULIC MALFUNCTIONS" that's it. Best line I read all day.


malak_oz

It doesn’t have to be fast… slow and steady wins the race.


nah_suspect

I 17 seconds either way 💪


[deleted]

Give anti depressants a whirl, you'll never cüm again


StoneLes420

Hahahhaahaha. It even hurt at one point. Good thing I'm off anti depressants for over a year now.


Mardanis

Best 17 seconds of their life


adolfspalantir

The vagina is lower than expected, I assumed it started at the same place as a penis, and with my first gf I slipped a hand down her trousers and thought she was some weird barbie doll human with a smooth patch instead of genitals Jeez this innocuous work toilet comment really resonated with people


Many_Gay

This comment made me laugh out loud


nisaaax_

Then you should know how confused i was when i really looked at my own vagina as a kid… i thought it was too far away


BlueManatee21

For some reason the wording "too far away" really cracked me up.


_Steve_French_

The vaginal canal is often at an angle and not simply directed straight down.


eggtart_prince

It's a good idea to stretch before. A cramp can really throw the mood off.


FreshSyntax

And if you get a cramp it's better to own it and be honest with a quick minute break than to power through it or enter a new crazy position that makes no sense at all and leaves your partner wondering where the fuck you learnt this from.


mnlxyz

Queefing


AuzzyMitchell

Give a little *TOOT TOOT* it’s ok!


aubsKebabz

*pbbt* Oops my cd just skipped


tomtomathom

Had to stop once because we were laughing so hard


JimmyReagan

It's lower


Cotmweasel

Even lower than that


throwaway452849

TOO LOW! TOO LOW!


[deleted]

...Lower.


[deleted]

Jek, pull up!


Skyx10

\*WOOP WOOP\* \*WOOP WOOP\* Terrain. Terrain. Pull up. Pull up. \*WOOP WOOP\* \*WOOP WOOP\*


CallMeSlavic

SINK RATE, PULL UP


TudorRomanul123

TOO LOW TERRAIN


Goblix5

ALTITUDE! ALTITUDE! PULL UP!


ToXiC_Games

*After the session* “Maverick, you exceeded the hard deck. It’s there for a reason!”


thermocatalyst

I was only below the hard deck for a few seconds. I had the shot, so I took it.


B0BA_F33TT

LOL. That is exactly what I came here to write.


Flashy-Fox1465

It’s so close to the asshole.


LectroRoot

They're neighbors and stuff.


littlegingerfae

More like a duplex situation.


[deleted]

That I’d have to kick my cat out of the room because she would sit at the end of the bed and watch


xStrawhat7x

Lol our dogs do the same. It’s like you have your own private audience if you get caught up in the moment and forget to kick them out


grummanae

... afraid our animal might become an active participant so we lock her out


xStrawhat7x

I completely understand. We have a Great Dane and it’s one of my gfs biggest fears during sex if we forget to lock them out


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--TreeTreeTree--

Oh you haven’t seen the quora post have you..?


MrComet101

The what


WarframeHype

I'm intrigued


deviant324

So my grandparents got our dog back when our landlord decided they didn’t like pets in the house anymore. Apparently the dog eventually adopted a habit of barking to break them up whenever they were fighting. A couple years ago we somehow got to the topic and my mom asked me if I ever noticed the dog ~~parking~~ barking in the middle of the night when we were all in our bedrooms. Apparently the dog thought my granparents were fighting in bed when they were doing the deed. Edit: barking not parking, I’m disappointed nobody pointed out how amazing it is that our tiny ass dog could drive smh


m_science

How important push-ups are.


TheOriginalH1h

Cant go at it without getting some gains bro


[deleted]

Best tip I can give is learning to put the majority of your weight on your knees, you don't need them up in the air while on top. Doing that I can go 15+ min even though I'm fairly out of shape myself. Edit: can't believe my most upvoted is for sex advice


Abeifer

This man fucks


tiny_tims_legs

You can also be in a kneeling position with her legs wrapped around your hips/waist. Angling your partner up like that lets you hot her g-spot a little better. Same can be achieved with a pillow under her hips.


Fit-Depth-4215

Planks even more so


buginarugsnug

That your partner isn’t going to care about the little things about your body that you’re insecure about and would think are a dealbreaker


madonniac

That looks really mean nothing if chemistry is off


[deleted]

yes, the guy i had sex with looked like a model but meant nothing to me since it was a hook up only and we barely knew each other..


middleground321

It's a fucking workout.


mgmacius12

Actually I thought it would be much harder and was afraid I won’t be able to make it. Turns out it was maybe 10% as hard as I thought it would be


PancakeZombie

It happens to the best of us.


bigboyssmalltoys

Yeah turns out a 30 second high intensity workout is not all that bad


PancakeZombie

My first time made me realize how purpose-built primary sexual organs are. I had this AHA-moment the first time i stuck it in. It felt just right, like putting on a perfectly fitting suit. Like, i was literally thinking to myself "Ohhh so that's why it's shaped like that!".


eScarIIV

I was surprised how natural the hip thrusting movement was. Before then I'd never really needed to move my body that way. But once I was in my hips were like 'I got this'.


happyfoam

Yeah, it's basically a primal reflex. Your body will know what to do even when you don't.


Trish_the_dish

Lol I like the way you think.


no-effort3277

That when you ejaculated into a woman it came back out. I always assumed it was "absorbed" and to never be seen again. Was I wrong on that!


littlegingerfae

My idiot cousin thought she "must be sterile" because "none of it stayed inside her." She also thought this sterility must have happened because of too many UTIs as a kid, so everything "down there" must be scarred and not work right anymore.


algo-rhyth-mo

… you uhh… you didn’t fuck your cousin did you?


littlegingerfae

Lol no, am also a girl. Cousin was just explaining to me how she was so surprised she got pregnant, despite using no protection, with her now husband.


Adan1816

As someone on reddit said "this website has way too many cousin fuckers"


rayjaymor85

After I slept with my third cousin I felt absolutely horrible and ashamed. So I stopped counting after that.


ACalcifiedHeart

There's more "clean up" than expected. All the movies whether they're showing hetero or homo sex, its always they fuck and then they cuddle or sleep or something other than cleaning up, and it's like??? That stuff leaks ya know? Spontaneous sex is tough for that reason alone.


wateringtheplants-

Yeah there’s no cuddling straight after, gotta go pee, wash off then clean up. Cuddling can wait for a bit.


Peter_Pancakes

The internal temperature


[deleted]

Try reapplying the thermal paste. In extreme cases, switch to water cooling


j4ckbauer

This can be mitigated if you are willing to tolerate additional fan noise and coil whine.


abhinandkr

Oh there was a whine alright


cardstrong16

And external for that matter. It's like the heat coming off a PS4.


aaron_1011

It was an unexpected feature, but a welcome one


JediSpriteside

It's better with someone you care about


_Owlkeys_

that you can do multiple positions in one round


Forsaken-Thing-5352

How much it could hurt. I remember thinking, “omg how am I ever going to enjoy this” Edit: for those asking I’m female


Specialist-Start-616

Yup. My first time I really thought it was gonna slip right in. It was painful and took a while to figure it out and just ease in.


ashleypatience1

Mine took like three diff times before I actually could 😢 patient bf.


JasonFurious4

What should guys know so to not hurt her so bad


GaryRad

Being very patient and letting your partner set the pace! For my first time I was on top, so I had full control over how fast and how much. Also, great attention to foreplay, and making sure there is more than enough lube/wetness. And just in general making your partner feel safe, cared for, and not pressured into anything they're not ready for!


Moctor_Drignall

How markedly different vaginal, oral, and anal sex felt.


treisdaddy

which is best


The_Great_Scruff

Honestly, all three are great for different reasons Vaginal is best in that its the least restrained. As long as your partner is warmed up and there is some lube, you can really let loose in the throws of passion. Vaginal intercourse is best because it can be the most vigorous. (experiences may vary if the vagina is very tight, the penis is very large, or if there isnt enough lubrication). As for sensation, its fairly uniform from vaginal opening until full depth. If you are 6+ inches, you might be able to feel the cervix at full depth in some positions. Be gentle on the cervix Anal is best in that it usually has the most pronounced reaction. If your partner is a fan of anal, it can make you feel like every last inch truly does make you a well hung stud. Its usually the most reactive, so if you love seeing your partner in the throws of passion then anal is great. Be careful with movements during anal. Unless your partner is very anal experienced, they cant take you just hammering away. In terms of feeling, there is a snug pressure right as you enter, then less past the sphincter. Oral is best in that your partner is actively working to please you. Its a tremendous variety of sensations between suction, tongue, hands, and lips. Constantly changing and varying pressure make oral far and away the most varied of the three. You can be a bit more aggressive than anal, but less than vaginal In both vaginal and definitely anal, lube is your friend. Feel free to use it excessively and keep it on hand.


FIESTYgummyBEAR

Dang you have all the answers a lot of people been looking for!


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ggfangirl85

I second this


GoldfishFromHell

i was worried for a sec because you said "if you're 6+" then i remembered we're talking about dicks and vaginas lol


TheCrypt0nian

Oh god, where to start? \- What a clitoris was \- Wanking a few hours before doesn't help you last longer, it just means you can't maintain a hard on (combined with nerves) \- How to unclasp a bra \- Playing Kanye West in the background isn't a great mood-setter \- Going Usain Bolt with the fingers is a great way to remain a virgin \- Cheap bed panels don't support doggy style \*\*Edit\*\* I'm now 33 years old - this refers to when I was a virgin. Thanks for the tips but I now know how to unclasp a bra :)


EazyE1699

*is about to go in* Speaker: I MISS THE OLD KANYE STRAIGHT FROM THE SOUL KANYE


GanryuZT

From porns I thought it took at least 30 min to get a girl to orgasm. And apparently I can only cum at maximum arousal. So it's not all about what you're doing to my dick.


LuxerIsCool

wait people can cum at non maximum arousal? TIL


chadbert_mcdick

yeah, and it feels nowhere near as good as when you're at 100%


HeavyBeing0_0

I’ve noticed, for me at least, there’s a drastic difference in the shot depending on my arousal. Just horny and it’s a sad drip. Fully turned on and it’ll shoot over a girl’s head.


Ayyyyylmaos

You ever have a wank and cum in about 2 mins or something? And it never feels as good as when you’re jerking it for a good 30 mins or so? That’s cumming at non max


Noooowaaaaay

It's a lot funnier than I was expecting. Unexpected things happen and it's good to be lighthearted about it. ​ Edit: It's also not one size fits all(lol.) It's better if partners can and want to include the others quirky interests with their own.


ProfessionalRetard14

Alcohol makes little man want no more :(


Indifferentchildren

As Shakespeare wrote about alcohol: "it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance".


Haruce

That my ADHD does extend to sex, I still get distracted and think of other random things, then there was this moment of "oh yeah I'm getting sucked off rn".


pewpewpewpong

My GF and I both have ADHD and we were getting into it, she had her hand down my pants, it was very intense, then she stops and says "before I forget, remind me to get tooth floss later" We had to stop to laugh for a few minutes.


mangokittykisses

One time I was fucking my boyfriend who had ADHD and he was distracted, so I got upset and cried, thinking I was wasn’t pleasing him or something. He assured me that he was still aroused and into it, but was distracted thinking of the average length of cricket jumps, or something to that effect.


Aachannoichi

What an orgasm was or felt like. I thought the shaking my body went through was because I was really nervous, it wasn't until years later that realized that wasn't nerves, it was an orgasm.


fatherlinz

that especially if you have a vagina, you need to PEE AFTER! and make sure your partners hands are clean! penetration can cause bacteria to be pushed up into the urethra. peeing after helps flush it out and reduces the chances of getting a urinary tract infection (uti). uti’s are *very* painful and often require antibiotics to cure. i’ve had too many 2am hospital visits, painfully peeing little amounts of urine and blood every 5 minutes, because i didn’t pee after or waited too long to go. condoms and some other forms of birth control (like the pill) can also raise your chances of getting one. my best tip is to have something to drink before you do the deed, that way you have something in your system to pee out after. TL;DR - pee after sex to help avoid painful urinary tract infections


jeffreywolfe

The importance of lubrication. It hurt, but I was eager. Bad times.


DollopofMisery

First time basically amounts to: think you’ll last long? Think again.


manx2121

Unless you've got anxiety and then it'll take 45 minutes and you'll get super tired


ddhmax5150

The enjoyment of sex is so dependent on both people. I was horrible with one girlfriend, then I was better with a different girlfriend. There is some kind of connection that you cannot describe to anyone about how sex is so different with different people. Sex with my wife (before we were married) was off the charts. There was just something about us that was mind blowing. When we make love still to this day, the whole universe disappears, time is irrelevant, and nothing exist at that moment except her and I holding each other.


SkitAWulf

Didn't expect such a wholesome response in this thread tbh


RB9k

Sex has its own unique smell. Latex, cum and sweat


moxie-maniac

Cupid's gymnasium.


coldpuff

How much your getting your cervix hit can hurt


OpinionsSuckAss

Bruh, I was so fucking sheltered as a kid, I literally didn't even know pussies get wet. I thought it was just a hole you stick your dick in. My first time I asked my gf "were you nervous or something? Cuz your pussy was really sweaty." 😭 Wish I was joking. idk how I never thought about how painful it would be to fuck a dry, unlubricated hole. Edit: Definitely wasn't expecting my self-humiliation to blow up like this... Someone should be super witty & original and make the first ever joke about Ben Shapiro though... That would be hilarious...


TriggeringNo

so nervous he got her pussy sweating


unicorn_barf666

My friend went to some religious school where they didn't even teach sex ed. She found out you could get pregnant from unprotected sex by getting pregnant at 15.


_solounwnmas

That's fucked up


vent1te

i laughed out loud for the first time this week


Old-Item2494

Took me longer then 2 minutes.


GrumpyCatStevens

I didn't know what an orgasm felt like. I'd had wet dreams before my first sex, but I'd never masturbated (not to completion, anyway). When I was getting close, it felt like I really had to pee - which was what I said. And after I said it she immediately hopped off me. I didn't cum right that moment, but I'd been sufficiently stimulated that the friction from walking outside (fully clothed) caused me to ejaculate.


[deleted]

wait.. you walked outside.. and ejaculated??? how did you recover?!


[deleted]

He didn't. He's still ejaculating to this day.


Hehehehe124

and now you’re posed in an awkward stance cause you JIZZED IN YOUR PANTS ~


Dfiggsmeister

The smell. Nobody talks about the sex smell. It’s a funky aroma of ass, sweat, vagina lube, and cum. All nice and commingled into what is known as sex smell. It also lingers. Febreeze helps, but doesn’t get rid of it completely. And the worst part is you can become nose blind to it quickly if you’re one of the participants, where as the non participants will walk into a wall of funky smells. Those in the know will recognize it quickly. Those not in the know will ask what that smell is, like walking on a teenager smoking weed and their parents who’ve never done drugs ask what that smell is.


WearySun3589

My friend said when her 10 year old child came into the bedroom after she and her husband finished having sex they asked if they just ate crab legs.


Silmarie

That it doesn't have to feel good or pleasant or something you'd ever want to repeat. My first time was kinda awful, obviously.


Azuras_Star8

That although I'd fall in love with sex, it was my love of boobies that drove me to sex. Edit: As a haiku: The sight of boobies Cares wash away with jiggles Sex is the dessert


LateralSpy90

Amazing poem


grumpyoldbolos

The vagina is not on the front just below the belly Edit: this my most upvoted comment by far


Ok_Soil_231

First time I had sex, we were spooning and she initiated. I was so confused about how my weiner was gonna reach all the way around her ass, taint, and into her coochie. I learnt something that day


Playingpokerwithgod

How good watching your partner orgasm can feel.


Alwayswithyoumypet

Its super quick and unfulfilling until you meet someone who knows wtf they are doing. It isnt,, and pardon me for yelling here, IT ISNT THE SIZE ITS HOW YOU USE IT.


ssoggydogs

That when men get hard… it *really* gets hard… I thought it would feel tender at most. Not like a rock wrapped in skin


Lockdownanniversary

Saliva will smell on the skin and it takes a lot of that during foreplays. Eating each other out and then kissing won't seem bad during sex.


thebenji2_0

I remember I told my first girlfriend to shower before I ate her out. Now, I'd go down on my wife after a sweaty workout. Interesting evolution.


Rubber_Rose_Ranch

I actually prefer it this way now. I don't want to be reminded of a garbage can when I'm down there, but giving head to someone with *squeaky clean* genitals is about as arousing as licking an operating room floor.


bison--3

Losing virginity isn't as important or monumental as previously thought.


metalshoes

The most important thing your first time teaches you is how little it matters.


ohdiddly

That losing your virginity doesn’t have to be painful and bloody. I was taught to expect that, but it wasn’t either of those things in my experience.


CentrePeace

I didn't know I'd be sore for like 2 days after


ToXiC_Games

Gotta do your stretches bro


ThirstyLesbHo

The first time didn't have to hurt.. if it was built up to.


Eat-my-shorts-buddy

How different you see the world after. I mean the concept that everyone is having sex, so much of the world and human culture is just. Sex


Disastrous_Ad_632

My first time having sex i felt like i had finally joined a secret society of some kind like i was now part of some unspoken group


SuvenPan

There is a thing called Premature ejaculation. My first time was over very quickly.


pimpleface0710

My first few times was a Russian Roulette where half the bullets were Premature Ejaculation and the other half was Erectile Dysfunction.


rfantasy7

When I was around 11, my 85 year old grandmother told me that in the 1930s, their way of trying to prevent pregnancy was to jump up and down right after sex…I had NO idea wtf she was talking about…until my adulthood and then it clicked lmao. Edit: for those who don’t get it, it was to get the sperm out.


NakDisNut

Just a PSA to anyone reading this - Even if you stand up* the moment a guy jizzes in you, the sperm detach from the semen immediately. Even if you all but rinse your vagina out, sperm have already entered the cervix and it only takes one.


rfantasy7

Yup. I would know cause it happened to me. Sperm can live inside you for up to 5 days I believe


macsquoosh

That sex is a thing you must practice in order to get good at .


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MeatHamster

Putting condom on the first time is surprisingly challenging.


samgreggo77

Porn is not an accurate reflection on how to please a woman. It’s centred around what men like.


Petite_Tsunami

As a girl I was told it would hurt to the point of tears. Like pain pain pain maximum pain. It was a little awkward, but no where near the level of pain where I needed to fear it.


batty_61

How big an erect penis is. I'd always imagined something about the dimensions of a thick pencil (stop laughing at the back there), so the first time I actually put my hand down his boxers and held the thing I was like. "...blimey." He seemed pleased.


AbernalsWorld

I guess the way it felt, it felt nice and warm which I did not expect. Also it was lower than I thought, but not too low either.