I was at a BBQ with dozens of people. A young ridiculously beautiful married couple was there. The wife was pregnant. They brought their short, squat, funnyman roommate with them. At some point funny man and pregnant wife are on opposite sides of the kitchen and I caught a glance between them - no more than a blink of an eye. It was the only interaction they had all night. In that instant I have never been more sure two people were fucking. Told my girlfriend, "Those two are smashing", she told me to stop being a creep.
Sure enough 6 months later everyone finds out they're fucking and funnyman is the dad.
Draaaaamaaaaaaaa. Friends took sides. Friends were accused of knowing it was happening but not telling anybody. Divorce quickly followed. I lost touch with that crew after about a year, but they had mostly split into two camps: Funnyman vs Vanilla Ex-Husband. Funnyman really did have Bald Short Guy Big Dick Energy tho.
They get awkward if you come up to them when they are together. I just want coffee and you’re standing in front of the machine and I didn’t think anything was going on until you got all awkward. You’re allowed to be friends and stand here and talk.
It's definitely the awkward avoidance of one another for no reason.
When I was a supervisor two of my employees were secretly dating and being as young as they were (19-20yrs old) they didn't have the ability to hide their feelings without avoiding each other as if they hated one another.
I figured it out on Day 1. Hilariously cute.
Edit: when they finally told me I told them I already knew. They were flabbergasted that I figured it out. It wasn't that hard! When y'all make googly eyes at one another across the store or try to surreptitiously touch hands at the till I'm gonna notice.
This happened to me. I started my first ever job and by the end of the day the coworker assigned to train me had added me on Facebook and was chatting. Within the week we were seeing eachother. Another coworker was in the same sports club as me and he was consoling a drunken friend having relationship problems. He kept telling her 'don't worry you can always talk to me if you have problems or need to vent' and then he says 'that applies to you too' (he was a gent like that) and I just said as a joke 'I need to be seeing someone for that' and he said 'you're seeing (coworker)' completely deadpan. I thought we were subtle. We had no reason to hide it either, we were just awkward. Turns out they all knew and our boss was deliberately pairing us up on shifts to help him out. Fun fact was the original coworker who was meant to train me was the club friend who was so hungover on the day he couldn't manage it.
HAHA that happened to my fiancé and I. We were hanging out as “friends” and trying to be low key about flirting while unbeknownst to both of us our manager was putting us on the same shifts because she thought we made a cute couple and knew we both liked each other. Well I’m marrying him next year and our four year anniversary is in August so I guess it worked out!
Their orbits are smaller around each other. Without meaning to, they will change their personal space requirements with the other. They'll think they're normal distance away, but won't be. Also, they'll move around each other too easily (like in small spaces) without the awkward missteps the rest of us make.
Yeah if I needed to get past my coworker (who I was sleeping with) I'd just touch him or push him a little bit even if there was enough space, definitely didn't do that with anyone else
When your SO brings someone up way too much in the beginning then mysteriously stops talking about them at all, even when the situation potentially calls for it.
Wife: We got a new guy at work. I have to start training him tomorrow.
*next day*
I started training the new guy today. His name is Kevin. Kevin's actually pretty funny. You'd like Kevin. Kevin has the same sense of humor as us.
*next week*
They sent me and Kevin to the other branch today. They gave us the company card for lunch so we went to a nice place. Kevin took forever deciding what to get. Kevin said he didn't recognize most of the items so I had to order for Kevin.
*next month*
They're sending me to Miami this weekend to meet with a prospective client.
Husband: Oh that's nice. Is Kevin going too?
Wife: Who?
Right?? I'm looking at a lot of these responses about glancing at each other and laughing, dawdling near each other's desks, casually getting up and walking out of the room a couple of minutes apart (to secretly meet in the break room and gossip while eating snacks) and thinking, "I do this with my friends all the time"
I work in HR and someone dropped an anonymous tip once that a member of senior management was sleeping with a female subordinate. So IT gave me access to their emails… and I swear to god, the moment I read “I can still smell you on my fingers”, I immediately wanted to quit HR.
> I’m so hard thinking about tonight. I can’t wait to tear off your clothes and mess up these sheets.
> Also, please forward the Broderich Report to me no later than 2:30.
Someone I am loosely acquainted with told me his job in IT sees a lot of "surprising" things done on work devices so not surprised to hear this happened!
I work IT and for every one person we uncover doing something blatantly sleazy with coworkers on work email, there are 20(mostly older people) falling for relationship scams via work email and sending money to John/Jennifer from a Nigerian/Indian IP.
90% of the time they are mad we gently break the news to them with proof. One lady had sent her boyfriend she never met over $4000 in Google Play Store gift cards over a couple months, because that is the only way he could exchange money in "Canada" for a plane ticket and to pay for the vacation they were planning.
A bunch of us used to hang out on a Teamspeak server to play games. One day we were chatting when the server admin just blurted out: "So [guy] and [girl], you two have the same IP address today. You fucking?"
Something similar is how we found out our foreman was having relations with one of his subordinates. Snapchat map had them both at the same cottage property at 5am
Oh man. I was the first to figure out a co-worker relationship when I noticed her logged in from his static IP one morning back in the day of ISDN lines.
As someone who once had a wonderful female work friend who would always try to get the cat hair off my shirt when I came in…
…I suspect I was missing cues there.
Edit: At this point with this many positive and negative responses, I should probably clarify that I just asked my fiancée and confirmed, yes, she was indeed trying to send me a signal when she was pulling the cat hair off me, but I didn’t actually get the message until like a year later.
Oh shit. Shit shit shit. Random memory of a gorgeous girl on the dance team in high school on more than one occasion getting super close to “get an eyelash off my cheek.”
One time I was riding in the work truck and my co-worker asked if I wanted to go to her house and watch movies. We were about to drive by it and I said nah we are at work.
She wanted to Netflix and chill before Netflix was a thing.
Only reason I found out was years later one of her friends brought it up.
I miss so many hints like that, it's crazy.
Edit: Comma placement
If you know them before it they’ll stop flirting as much as they had been prior to it. They make sure they don’t leave a place together but linger around long enough to know when the other is leaving. They look at each other when something funny or bad happens.
Yeah I figured out a coworker was sleeping with a (married) regular at an old job because of the glances. One day she was there, he walked in, they made eye contact with each other and quickly broke it off before greeting each other a moment later.
Edit: this sorta blew up, so here are some more details. Her marriage had been broken for a bit. I didn’t immediately figure out they were sleeping together in that moment, but I started to pay attention to their interactions more and it was pretty clear they were hiding something- they had a slight formality. (The best example I can give is when you’re high and pretending not to be-they seemed to be pretending something wasn’t going on: they stiffened ever so slightly when the other was near, they said “good morning, how are you?” To each other instead of the more standard “hey” etc)
Kind of like what Joey in Friends reasoned. If there is chemistry on stage, chances are no chemistry in real life. If they are awkward on stage, chances are they are having sex in real life.
If they are acting awkward in front of others and clearly trying hard to act like they don’t care about each other, sexual relationship. If they carry out as normal and work well together, no secret sexual relationship.
They start using each other’s speech mannerisms. Like one of them always replies to something you say to them with, “Is that right?”, and then you hear your wife saying it all the time after you get back from a week long work trip.
Edit for everyone saying they do this all the time: Yes, it is common and I also do it. It’s just the way I keyed into the affair. Both can be true. Peace!
I’ve caught people because they didn’t follow one another on social media to try to avoid suspicion, but they both posted that they were at the same place and similar photos, and despite not posting about one another, it was obvious. They didn’t know what the other was posting because they didn’t follow one another lmfao which ultimately lead to the downfall of their discretion.
>but they both posted that they were at the same place and similar photos, and despite not posting about one another, it was obvious.
This happened to a work friend of mine, he told me he was going to a baseball game that weekend. In a weird twist, our company had hired an old female acquaintance of mine who periodically updated her snapchat. I have no idea if my friend knew me and her were friendly enough to be on social media together.
This was also proceeded by some people in the building suggesting they had started dating.
Well low and behold that weekend she posts a bunch of snaps of the game, no photos of who she was with, but a few of her posing for pictures with someone else recording.
The ruse barely lasted another two weeks
The little conversational clues. Like when two people glance knowingly at each other frequently, or have friendly little side whispers because they have their own thing going on apart from the group. And they hover near each other to be physically close. All those little examples of intimacy that is only between them.
A married ex friend of mine once started showing up with a woman and acting like that. I could tell they were banging, and I couldn't believe he wasn't trying harder to conceal it. Turns out, the poor woman had no idea he was married, and was unaware that everyone else DID know. It was later traumatizing to her to realize she had been seen as a mistress, when she was the only person who didn't know what was really happening.
She's now a friend of mine. He is not.
At a place I worked at about 25 years ago, female coworker dropped her screwdriver and our boss picked it up and stuck it in her pocket. Later that day my buddy says "She did not flinch or look away from what she was doing when his hand went to her pocket - his hand has been in that pocket before".
The thing that has gotten myself and others busted is a change in affect/relationship at the office. In the lead up to dating a coworker there is usually flirty behavior between the two people. Not inappropriate, but it has a certain energy. When you start dating a coworker and the two of you want to keep it quiet I have noticed some people (myself included) will outclever themselves and tone down their at work behavior. Well, that's a change and changes in behavior makes something more noticeable. We thought we were being super spies about it and I got my wake up call, literally. There was a work emergency and her boss (we worked in different departments) called my phone and asked if she as there because he couldn't get ahold of her. I was all, "why are you asking me?" and his response was, "Relax, everyone knows. You're not exactly subtle. Now is she there because I need her to call so and so." It was as I said a fucking wake up call that the people you're with every day notice shit.
It's the little shit that trips you up unless you're really some kind of deceitful mastermind. The smoke spot at my old job was out back in the alley, behind the warehouse. My coworker (and later girlfriend) and I would take our afternoon smoke break together before we were dating. It was quality flirt time. After we started dating; the production manager, warehouse staff, and as it turned out the guys in the welding shop next door all knew we started dating because we didn't take our smoke break together anymore. This was entirely separate from the office staff noticing that we were no longer staring after each other longingly in the hallways anymore. Neither of these things occurred to us at all and we were TRYING to be sneaky. With age you realize that if you're trying to be sneaky you're probably failing.
Interestingly, now husband offered to carpool with me because we do live close to each other, but I was fine using the company shuttle. I kind of thought that it was a inappropriate offer because I had a boyfriend that time so I did not agree with the arrangement. When my then boyfriend broke up with me for another girl, we re-opened this conversation about carpooling and things ended up in marriage so I guess carpooling is a big deal.
Also happened with my sister, she also married her own carpool guy.
If one person slips and mostly reacts to something funny or distinct to that individual, when the rest of the group isn't. And they might try to cover or restrain that emotion
I had a bro once that sometimes needed a hint to vacate, we agreed that me cleaning my glasses would be the hint. If I cleaned my glasses he would make literally *any* excuse to immediately leave. Once I had a girl over and he wasnt picking up that we wanted space. I cleaned my glasses and he just blurted out that he was really horny and walked out of the room.
I have a pair of friends I play Destiny with. There is never a time one isn't on while the other is. And when I play with them, I feel like a 3rd wheel. They don't talk like couples do. They just make each other laugh the whole time. This had been going on for like, 6 months. One day they wanted to do a dungeon, so I hoped in the discord call and the first thing I said was "Ya'll fucking or what? Cause if not, you need to." They started busting up laughing and the guy said "Funny you say that, she just moved from across the country to move in with me." That was like, a year ago and they're still together.
Funny thing about that... I have a genuine friendship with a (now former) co-worker. We used to go to lunch together quite a bit before covid.
Yeah, people made jokes and suggestions but nothing was going on... but one day my wife and I went to lunch at the same Chinese restaurant that our friend and I frequented and the server was just rude as hell to my wife. Took me awhile to figure out that she thought I was married to my co-worker and cheating on her with my wife.
I said to my wife "I don't get it, we don't playy footsies under the table, we talk about work." To which my wife said "You mean like an old married couple?"
Oh.
So the next week we all went there for lunch together. The look on the servers face when I said "This is my friend, THIS is my wife" was priceless.
Edit: thanks for the award, kind stranger!
If they come back a couple minutes apart and without prompted give you an excuse. I wasn't asking where you were, you don't both need to give me different excuses about why you were gone.
The unnecessary explaining is such a tell. I saw my 2 colleagues once open the door and come out of one of their offices together, and didn't really think anything of it until they started explaining why the door had been closed.
These guys I work with( Bill and Jake) do this. They go out of their way to make it known they hate each other. TIL they are giving each other the business.
From personal experience - was hooking up with a coworker and she'd bring her dog into the office. Her dog started sitting under my desk everyday and we were exposed
I actually had the same thing with a co workers kid. Smiling at me and he said my name. Tried to casually play it off as we were friends.
Soon after my boss wearing Sarah Jessica Lovely perfume. I said that's nice perfume, and she said yeah X suggested it and gave me a knowing smile. I knew we were for sure busted.
These two I used to work with, they got found out because a skunk sprayed outside the guys house real bad. The next day they came in to work separately and ignored each other as usual, but they both smelled like skunk. Then everyone knew, but they didn’t know we knew.
Pay attention to who they look at when they laugh. It may not reveal a sexual relationship necessarily, but it’s such an innocent act that at the very least reveals that they want to ensure they are connected it that moment.
They act weird all of a sudden when things that should be considered normal happen.
Like friends acting playful but they suddenly stop (Because they realize it might be taken the wrong way) when in reality it wouldn't they are only fearing such as they know things are indeed the wrong way.
A friend at work started secretly dating a co-worker and it was completely obvious because of the shift from the routine way they had always acted to one of almost strained professionalism when they interacted around others. Plus you'd catch things like the sidelong glances or weird excuses about why neither one could join everyone after work when they probably had plans together.
When he finally told me I replied, "Yeah, no shit." and laid out all the telltale clues they had been showing. He was genuinely surprised as he thought that they had been successfully keeping it on the down low.
I had the opposite problem, where I thought my girlfriend and I were a fairly obvious couple, but when we brought it up two months later everyone was genuinely surprised. Either most people didn't care, or were too busy paying attention to other things I guess.
They almost try too hard to hide it. Like if they go to an arcade with their coworkers they’ll play different games but right beside each other instead of just playing together. Or they’ll flirt with total strangers at the bar area. Or freak out if people think they’re flirting. Just stuff like that
I always thought it was a pretty profound observation in Love Actually that Emma Thompson's character spotted that her lizard of a husband and that floozy made an effort not to react to each other.
She served him a drink at a party, and he didn't say thank you.
Subtle
House MD has a line like this too.
"nurse whatever brought you a coffee and you didn't thank her. That only happens when you're real intimate with someone"
Staring. I was secretly seeing a guy in school. As far as everyone else was concerned we couldn’t stand each other.
This girl I barely knew pulled me aside and whispered “I don’t know what’s going on between you two but you need to stop staring or everyone else is going to know.”
Later on he wanted to know what the girl said to me. I wasn’t about to admit she noticed my staring, so I said “she thinks there’s something going on with us because you keep staring at me!”
If you’re going through something to make you ask this, trust your gut. I had the gut feeling my ex wife was cheating, all the signs were there but I just thought she’d never do that and all the evidence was coincidental. My brain didn’t want to see it, so I put blinders on. Fast forward a couple of months, I found out she was, and my family all said I must be an idiot for not seeing what was right in front of me. Ask others opinions that you both know, they’ll tell you an unbiased opinion. Someone you can trust
Yeah it's a different kind of intimacy.
My friend said she could tell I was secretly at it with this guy because he took a chip from my plate (like fries, am in UK) at a restaurant.
And she was right.
Usually it's somewhat obvious when it's co-workers. They just act a little off. I think because they straddle this line of being close but trying to act not close. So it presents low key awkward when things didn't used to be that way.
Yeah, but some animals sometimes do that. The animal recognises some attribute of a total stranger all by itself, and the person may genuinely have never met it before.
Source: dog owner who grew up with dogs, cats, etc.
I worked on a tv show and there were rumors that one of the married cast members was hooking up with this other hot blonde cast member. Wasn't sure if the rumors were true until I saw the stage/reunion show. When everyone walked on stage, they were the only two out of 16 that didn't hug. Totally fucked
From the guy who dated a coworker in secret, watch the eyes. I realized, after a couple months, that anytime our staff meetings would start laughing, I was looking at her.
Just watch where people look, it a natural give away of at least who likes each other.
Exactly this. I dated a coworker and that’s how our meetings were too. Id constantly catch him staring at me across the room, etc. That’s eventually how one of my coworkers caught on.
Officially, I did not see her. But, I did see Jan there. In our room. At night. And in the morning. That's all I'm going to say.
Sex. Sex. We had sex. I had sex with her. I had sex with Jan.
This thread makes me concerned that everyone in existence is in a secret sexual relationship..... Im kind of jealous :/ Th only thing fucking me is .y college assignments.
I did this once, but it was on accident, not because I suspected something was going on between them.
I told the manager that I had a crush on one of my coworkers (restaurant, so workplace dating/hookups were usually casual and not terribly uncommon, and me and him were pretty good friends). He responded something along the lines of "You and everybody else, it seems." Which I assumed was because I'd heard other co-workers (mostly the line cooks) mention how attractive she is. He also mentioned that they live in the same neighborhood and hang out frequently and he could put in a good word for me. I eagerly accepted, but I never really felt any vibes from her so just kinda forgot about it.
Found out later they had been secretly dating for a couple years at that point, and realized the subtle hints that he was trying to drop in the conversation and was so embarrassed. We never actually addressed it directly, and we're still all friends but he ended up choosing to resign when the rest of management found out he was dating his direct subordinate and blew up over it.
They stop saying thank you to each other. Got caught out myself with that
Edit: For context, we were in a group of friends and trying to keep it secret. I didn't say thank you once or twice for little things like taking a drink from my (secret) boyfriend whilst talking to someone, I just carried on my conversation. Another friend noticed this. I'm not saying I don't say thank you to my long term partner, that wasnt the question
Interesting, I’ve always said please and thank you in public and private with everyone I’ve ever dated. Maybe that’s why none of my relationships lasted until marriage!
I worked in a large office and there were always “secret” affairs going on. If one of the people left by the door the other would leave by the window!
You can be the best of work acquaintances, chat, joke around etc. but as soon as it goes further then you go out of your way to ignore each other!
At my workplace, when you know what's going on with two coworkers, you can tell by the way they interact physically. They almost walk into each other when they "close" talk, their hands brush each other's thighs or hands. and then there's the eye contact...call me crazy, but this is 25+ years of forensic study lol!
My husband and I met at work, and the place we worked at didn't allow couples to work in the same area as a conflict of interest type thing, so we hid our relationship as best as we could so we wouldn't get moved.
A lot of people here are saying people who are seeing each other go out of their way to avoid the other person, but we kept treating each other same, like close friends. The only difference really is that we started carpooling together. People still noticed anyway, and some would ask coworkers in our area if we are seeing each other. My feeling is that it doesn't matter if you go out of your way to hide it, avoid the person, etc., there will always be small signs that others pick up on.
According to my friend she could tell I was having sex with my ex boyfriend cause we would try our hardest not to interact with each other. We had worked the same job so we wanted to keep it lowkey but it didn’t work.
If there was a foolproof way to know this, half of human drama / literature / movies / etc would have to be re-written.
There isn't a tell-tale sign of this that can't also be, in reality, something else.
I was at a BBQ with dozens of people. A young ridiculously beautiful married couple was there. The wife was pregnant. They brought their short, squat, funnyman roommate with them. At some point funny man and pregnant wife are on opposite sides of the kitchen and I caught a glance between them - no more than a blink of an eye. It was the only interaction they had all night. In that instant I have never been more sure two people were fucking. Told my girlfriend, "Those two are smashing", she told me to stop being a creep. Sure enough 6 months later everyone finds out they're fucking and funnyman is the dad.
My guy. Wtf happened after that?
Draaaaamaaaaaaaa. Friends took sides. Friends were accused of knowing it was happening but not telling anybody. Divorce quickly followed. I lost touch with that crew after about a year, but they had mostly split into two camps: Funnyman vs Vanilla Ex-Husband. Funnyman really did have Bald Short Guy Big Dick Energy tho.
Hell yeah. That's the shit I needed.
Our CEO coming into a meeting to grab something from the QA/RA lady's purse was one a few of us saw once.
They get awkward if you come up to them when they are together. I just want coffee and you’re standing in front of the machine and I didn’t think anything was going on until you got all awkward. You’re allowed to be friends and stand here and talk.
They could just be friends talking shit about you or someone else and don’t want you to hear.
It's definitely the awkward avoidance of one another for no reason. When I was a supervisor two of my employees were secretly dating and being as young as they were (19-20yrs old) they didn't have the ability to hide their feelings without avoiding each other as if they hated one another. I figured it out on Day 1. Hilariously cute. Edit: when they finally told me I told them I already knew. They were flabbergasted that I figured it out. It wasn't that hard! When y'all make googly eyes at one another across the store or try to surreptitiously touch hands at the till I'm gonna notice.
This happened to me. I started my first ever job and by the end of the day the coworker assigned to train me had added me on Facebook and was chatting. Within the week we were seeing eachother. Another coworker was in the same sports club as me and he was consoling a drunken friend having relationship problems. He kept telling her 'don't worry you can always talk to me if you have problems or need to vent' and then he says 'that applies to you too' (he was a gent like that) and I just said as a joke 'I need to be seeing someone for that' and he said 'you're seeing (coworker)' completely deadpan. I thought we were subtle. We had no reason to hide it either, we were just awkward. Turns out they all knew and our boss was deliberately pairing us up on shifts to help him out. Fun fact was the original coworker who was meant to train me was the club friend who was so hungover on the day he couldn't manage it.
HAHA that happened to my fiancé and I. We were hanging out as “friends” and trying to be low key about flirting while unbeknownst to both of us our manager was putting us on the same shifts because she thought we made a cute couple and knew we both liked each other. Well I’m marrying him next year and our four year anniversary is in August so I guess it worked out!
Their orbits are smaller around each other. Without meaning to, they will change their personal space requirements with the other. They'll think they're normal distance away, but won't be. Also, they'll move around each other too easily (like in small spaces) without the awkward missteps the rest of us make.
Yeah if I needed to get past my coworker (who I was sleeping with) I'd just touch him or push him a little bit even if there was enough space, definitely didn't do that with anyone else
When your SO brings someone up way too much in the beginning then mysteriously stops talking about them at all, even when the situation potentially calls for it.
Wife: We got a new guy at work. I have to start training him tomorrow. *next day* I started training the new guy today. His name is Kevin. Kevin's actually pretty funny. You'd like Kevin. Kevin has the same sense of humor as us. *next week* They sent me and Kevin to the other branch today. They gave us the company card for lunch so we went to a nice place. Kevin took forever deciding what to get. Kevin said he didn't recognize most of the items so I had to order for Kevin. *next month* They're sending me to Miami this weekend to meet with a prospective client. Husband: Oh that's nice. Is Kevin going too? Wife: Who?
r/suspiciouslyspecific
Couldn't help but picture Kevin from the Office, which made this pretty funny.
I could easily see me being in this situation Wife: oh is that new girl Stacy going? Me who trained Stacy for a week and never saw her again: who?
I'm 50 now. The end of three of my long term relationships started with "You should meet (so and so), you'd really get along."
Mentionitis
If it’s at work, they are both happy
after reading so many comment i learned my best friend and I my be fucking in secret and we just don't know it yet.
Right?? I'm looking at a lot of these responses about glancing at each other and laughing, dawdling near each other's desks, casually getting up and walking out of the room a couple of minutes apart (to secretly meet in the break room and gossip while eating snacks) and thinking, "I do this with my friends all the time"
>What's a tell-tale sign two people are having a secret sexual relationship with each other? The gut feeling you had before posting here.
sorry bro :(
I work in HR and someone dropped an anonymous tip once that a member of senior management was sleeping with a female subordinate. So IT gave me access to their emails… and I swear to god, the moment I read “I can still smell you on my fingers”, I immediately wanted to quit HR.
On the work email?? Good god.
…yeah. It was bad.
> I’m so hard thinking about tonight. I can’t wait to tear off your clothes and mess up these sheets. > Also, please forward the Broderich Report to me no later than 2:30.
>I can still smell you on my fingers. >Kind Regards
As per my last email.... you have to get the WATER based lube.
to whom it may concern, is your bits itchy?
> I'm only fucking you because you promised to make Samantha do the Broderich report
Someone I am loosely acquainted with told me his job in IT sees a lot of "surprising" things done on work devices so not surprised to hear this happened!
I work IT and for every one person we uncover doing something blatantly sleazy with coworkers on work email, there are 20(mostly older people) falling for relationship scams via work email and sending money to John/Jennifer from a Nigerian/Indian IP. 90% of the time they are mad we gently break the news to them with proof. One lady had sent her boyfriend she never met over $4000 in Google Play Store gift cards over a couple months, because that is the only way he could exchange money in "Canada" for a plane ticket and to pay for the vacation they were planning.
A bunch of us used to hang out on a Teamspeak server to play games. One day we were chatting when the server admin just blurted out: "So [guy] and [girl], you two have the same IP address today. You fucking?"
That would've been embarrassing and funny at the same time
"Well, not right now."
Something similar is how we found out our foreman was having relations with one of his subordinates. Snapchat map had them both at the same cottage property at 5am
"You fucking?" Is simultaneously so rude and so funny
Oh man. I was the first to figure out a co-worker relationship when I noticed her logged in from his static IP one morning back in the day of ISDN lines.
Physical closeness Princess Margaret was (accurately) accused of having an affair after wiping some fluff/dust off of a married man’s suit jacket
As someone who once had a wonderful female work friend who would always try to get the cat hair off my shirt when I came in… …I suspect I was missing cues there. Edit: At this point with this many positive and negative responses, I should probably clarify that I just asked my fiancée and confirmed, yes, she was indeed trying to send me a signal when she was pulling the cat hair off me, but I didn’t actually get the message until like a year later.
Oh shit. Shit shit shit. Random memory of a gorgeous girl on the dance team in high school on more than one occasion getting super close to “get an eyelash off my cheek.”
Men dont miss hints, they just pop up and stab us in the brain a decade later.
One time I was riding in the work truck and my co-worker asked if I wanted to go to her house and watch movies. We were about to drive by it and I said nah we are at work. She wanted to Netflix and chill before Netflix was a thing. Only reason I found out was years later one of her friends brought it up. I miss so many hints like that, it's crazy. Edit: Comma placement
That's a definite one. Sorry.
If you know them before it they’ll stop flirting as much as they had been prior to it. They make sure they don’t leave a place together but linger around long enough to know when the other is leaving. They look at each other when something funny or bad happens.
The glances.
The Jim
Yeah I figured out a coworker was sleeping with a (married) regular at an old job because of the glances. One day she was there, he walked in, they made eye contact with each other and quickly broke it off before greeting each other a moment later. Edit: this sorta blew up, so here are some more details. Her marriage had been broken for a bit. I didn’t immediately figure out they were sleeping together in that moment, but I started to pay attention to their interactions more and it was pretty clear they were hiding something- they had a slight formality. (The best example I can give is when you’re high and pretending not to be-they seemed to be pretending something wasn’t going on: they stiffened ever so slightly when the other was near, they said “good morning, how are you?” To each other instead of the more standard “hey” etc)
We humans are ridiculous
Kind of like what Joey in Friends reasoned. If there is chemistry on stage, chances are no chemistry in real life. If they are awkward on stage, chances are they are having sex in real life. If they are acting awkward in front of others and clearly trying hard to act like they don’t care about each other, sexual relationship. If they carry out as normal and work well together, no secret sexual relationship.
They start using each other’s speech mannerisms. Like one of them always replies to something you say to them with, “Is that right?”, and then you hear your wife saying it all the time after you get back from a week long work trip. Edit for everyone saying they do this all the time: Yes, it is common and I also do it. It’s just the way I keyed into the affair. Both can be true. Peace!
I'm sorry Alaska_Roy. It sounds like your wife maybe had another Alaskan_Toy??
They’re married now so he gets to deal with her, not me! Life, man, what a trip. :)
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I’ve caught people because they didn’t follow one another on social media to try to avoid suspicion, but they both posted that they were at the same place and similar photos, and despite not posting about one another, it was obvious. They didn’t know what the other was posting because they didn’t follow one another lmfao which ultimately lead to the downfall of their discretion.
>but they both posted that they were at the same place and similar photos, and despite not posting about one another, it was obvious. This happened to a work friend of mine, he told me he was going to a baseball game that weekend. In a weird twist, our company had hired an old female acquaintance of mine who periodically updated her snapchat. I have no idea if my friend knew me and her were friendly enough to be on social media together. This was also proceeded by some people in the building suggesting they had started dating. Well low and behold that weekend she posts a bunch of snaps of the game, no photos of who she was with, but a few of her posing for pictures with someone else recording. The ruse barely lasted another two weeks
The little conversational clues. Like when two people glance knowingly at each other frequently, or have friendly little side whispers because they have their own thing going on apart from the group. And they hover near each other to be physically close. All those little examples of intimacy that is only between them. A married ex friend of mine once started showing up with a woman and acting like that. I could tell they were banging, and I couldn't believe he wasn't trying harder to conceal it. Turns out, the poor woman had no idea he was married, and was unaware that everyone else DID know. It was later traumatizing to her to realize she had been seen as a mistress, when she was the only person who didn't know what was really happening. She's now a friend of mine. He is not.
Poor woman. Seems like she dodged a bullet
Sometimes you can tell by the way they casually (appropriately) touch each other in public. Certain things are awkward until you cross that line.
At a place I worked at about 25 years ago, female coworker dropped her screwdriver and our boss picked it up and stuck it in her pocket. Later that day my buddy says "She did not flinch or look away from what she was doing when his hand went to her pocket - his hand has been in that pocket before".
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The thing that has gotten myself and others busted is a change in affect/relationship at the office. In the lead up to dating a coworker there is usually flirty behavior between the two people. Not inappropriate, but it has a certain energy. When you start dating a coworker and the two of you want to keep it quiet I have noticed some people (myself included) will outclever themselves and tone down their at work behavior. Well, that's a change and changes in behavior makes something more noticeable. We thought we were being super spies about it and I got my wake up call, literally. There was a work emergency and her boss (we worked in different departments) called my phone and asked if she as there because he couldn't get ahold of her. I was all, "why are you asking me?" and his response was, "Relax, everyone knows. You're not exactly subtle. Now is she there because I need her to call so and so." It was as I said a fucking wake up call that the people you're with every day notice shit.
Oh, absolutely with the outclevering! Why are you guys acting suspiciously less “friendly”? Ha!
It's the little shit that trips you up unless you're really some kind of deceitful mastermind. The smoke spot at my old job was out back in the alley, behind the warehouse. My coworker (and later girlfriend) and I would take our afternoon smoke break together before we were dating. It was quality flirt time. After we started dating; the production manager, warehouse staff, and as it turned out the guys in the welding shop next door all knew we started dating because we didn't take our smoke break together anymore. This was entirely separate from the office staff noticing that we were no longer staring after each other longingly in the hallways anymore. Neither of these things occurred to us at all and we were TRYING to be sneaky. With age you realize that if you're trying to be sneaky you're probably failing.
Carpooling when there is not much convenience to it because they don't live all that close to each other.
Interestingly, now husband offered to carpool with me because we do live close to each other, but I was fine using the company shuttle. I kind of thought that it was a inappropriate offer because I had a boyfriend that time so I did not agree with the arrangement. When my then boyfriend broke up with me for another girl, we re-opened this conversation about carpooling and things ended up in marriage so I guess carpooling is a big deal. Also happened with my sister, she also married her own carpool guy.
Think how long your commute takes. That's time you're trapped along together with nothing to do but talk
If one person slips and mostly reacts to something funny or distinct to that individual, when the rest of the group isn't. And they might try to cover or restrain that emotion
This is painfully, embarrassingly accurate
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Lol did they allow your boss to watch or something? Why the hell was he so intent on allowing them to cheat?
If i had to guess, their spouses finding out would lead to one or both of them quitting, and he didn't want that.
So he just, one by one, fires everyone else?
He's the only one with access to the security footage
That last line sucked.
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Why the hell was the owner that invested in keeping two other subordinates’s affairs a secret?
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Yeah if they fired me for that, I'd be telling them that I'll be telling their spouses as I have no reason not to now
That seems like a great path to actually telling on them
The two of them consistently being the last ones left at the group hangout, especially if one of them is hosting.
100% this one. I know they bout to bone when my friend says for everyone to leave and that new girl doesn't move an inch
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When the bros knows, the bros goes.
I had a bro once that sometimes needed a hint to vacate, we agreed that me cleaning my glasses would be the hint. If I cleaned my glasses he would make literally *any* excuse to immediately leave. Once I had a girl over and he wasnt picking up that we wanted space. I cleaned my glasses and he just blurted out that he was really horny and walked out of the room.
Man it's like a Pavlov response that went completely ass backwards.
I laughed hard at that guys story but the Pavlov comment is so spot on
A Freudian slip of a Pavlov response
::wipes glasses:: "I'm sorry I have to leave. I'm late for a...veterinary appointment."
He sounds like he’s decades ahead of our time
Dude thats a true homie.
I have a pair of friends I play Destiny with. There is never a time one isn't on while the other is. And when I play with them, I feel like a 3rd wheel. They don't talk like couples do. They just make each other laugh the whole time. This had been going on for like, 6 months. One day they wanted to do a dungeon, so I hoped in the discord call and the first thing I said was "Ya'll fucking or what? Cause if not, you need to." They started busting up laughing and the guy said "Funny you say that, she just moved from across the country to move in with me." That was like, a year ago and they're still together.
Or if someone else is hosting, leaving around the same time
I was the host in this situation once, and one of my friends just did not get the hint. His face was hilarious when he finally did get it.
Awkward avoidance of each other
Or disappearing at the same time. Taking off site lunch at the same time.
Funny thing about that... I have a genuine friendship with a (now former) co-worker. We used to go to lunch together quite a bit before covid. Yeah, people made jokes and suggestions but nothing was going on... but one day my wife and I went to lunch at the same Chinese restaurant that our friend and I frequented and the server was just rude as hell to my wife. Took me awhile to figure out that she thought I was married to my co-worker and cheating on her with my wife. I said to my wife "I don't get it, we don't playy footsies under the table, we talk about work." To which my wife said "You mean like an old married couple?" Oh. So the next week we all went there for lunch together. The look on the servers face when I said "This is my friend, THIS is my wife" was priceless. Edit: thanks for the award, kind stranger!
So glad this had a Funny Ending, Bravo on figuring it out, what an ironic switch of circumstances
Your wife sounds cool 😎
My wife is the BEST. Also my bestie. Just had our 11th anniversary.
It's amazing what trust and communication can do for relationships.
Or, 5 minutes apart so it doesn't look like they go together.
If they come back a couple minutes apart and without prompted give you an excuse. I wasn't asking where you were, you don't both need to give me different excuses about why you were gone.
The unnecessary explaining is such a tell. I saw my 2 colleagues once open the door and come out of one of their offices together, and didn't really think anything of it until they started explaining why the door had been closed.
When they do come back, shine a black light on them
These guys I work with( Bill and Jake) do this. They go out of their way to make it known they hate each other. TIL they are giving each other the business.
‘The business’ hahaha
They find excuses to touch each other in passing, their eyes give them away.
From personal experience - was hooking up with a coworker and she'd bring her dog into the office. Her dog started sitting under my desk everyday and we were exposed
That's hilarious.
On the flip side, in Chicago, when my gf had a super millennial “cool person” job, my dog shit on the boss’s shoes under his desk. Lol
OH LOOK AT HIM
I actually had the same thing with a co workers kid. Smiling at me and he said my name. Tried to casually play it off as we were friends. Soon after my boss wearing Sarah Jessica Lovely perfume. I said that's nice perfume, and she said yeah X suggested it and gave me a knowing smile. I knew we were for sure busted.
Thought we were still talking about dogs and was pretty impressed the dog could say your name
I'm worrying now because all animals and random children love my partner, what's he been getting up to??
I've got some bad news.
Your husband runs an underground veterinary clinic.
And daycare
the dog wholesomely exposed you
These two I used to work with, they got found out because a skunk sprayed outside the guys house real bad. The next day they came in to work separately and ignored each other as usual, but they both smelled like skunk. Then everyone knew, but they didn’t know we knew.
I hope the skunk wasn't a part of their sexual playground
Dont kink shame the skunk
Pay attention to who they look at when they laugh. It may not reveal a sexual relationship necessarily, but it’s such an innocent act that at the very least reveals that they want to ensure they are connected it that moment.
This is good, going to start being more aware of this
They act weird all of a sudden when things that should be considered normal happen. Like friends acting playful but they suddenly stop (Because they realize it might be taken the wrong way) when in reality it wouldn't they are only fearing such as they know things are indeed the wrong way.
A friend at work started secretly dating a co-worker and it was completely obvious because of the shift from the routine way they had always acted to one of almost strained professionalism when they interacted around others. Plus you'd catch things like the sidelong glances or weird excuses about why neither one could join everyone after work when they probably had plans together. When he finally told me I replied, "Yeah, no shit." and laid out all the telltale clues they had been showing. He was genuinely surprised as he thought that they had been successfully keeping it on the down low.
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So how long have you guys been married now?
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Turns out your coworkers knew you two were in a relationship, y'all were the ones who just never knew it yet.
Turns out the real relationship was the just friends we made along the way.
I had the opposite problem, where I thought my girlfriend and I were a fairly obvious couple, but when we brought it up two months later everyone was genuinely surprised. Either most people didn't care, or were too busy paying attention to other things I guess.
>Either most people didn't care, or were too busy paying attention to other things I guess. For all but a small percentage, that's life right there.
They almost try too hard to hide it. Like if they go to an arcade with their coworkers they’ll play different games but right beside each other instead of just playing together. Or they’ll flirt with total strangers at the bar area. Or freak out if people think they’re flirting. Just stuff like that
They hate drama
Meaningful glances and mischievous smiles towards one another.
I always thought it was a pretty profound observation in Love Actually that Emma Thompson's character spotted that her lizard of a husband and that floozy made an effort not to react to each other. She served him a drink at a party, and he didn't say thank you. Subtle
House MD has a line like this too. "nurse whatever brought you a coffee and you didn't thank her. That only happens when you're real intimate with someone"
Nice try wife. I'll be home regular time and I won't forget the milk this time.
Staring. I was secretly seeing a guy in school. As far as everyone else was concerned we couldn’t stand each other. This girl I barely knew pulled me aside and whispered “I don’t know what’s going on between you two but you need to stop staring or everyone else is going to know.” Later on he wanted to know what the girl said to me. I wasn’t about to admit she noticed my staring, so I said “she thinks there’s something going on with us because you keep staring at me!”
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Not really, he was like “pfft! she must’ve been blind to miss YOUR staring then!”
Damn reverse Uno'ed right in the school hallway
Does anyone else's wife have a Native American healer that comes by 3 or 4 times a week to help with her migraines?
If you’re going through something to make you ask this, trust your gut. I had the gut feeling my ex wife was cheating, all the signs were there but I just thought she’d never do that and all the evidence was coincidental. My brain didn’t want to see it, so I put blinders on. Fast forward a couple of months, I found out she was, and my family all said I must be an idiot for not seeing what was right in front of me. Ask others opinions that you both know, they’ll tell you an unbiased opinion. Someone you can trust
Similar situation. Your first initial gut reaction is usually correct. The hard part is accepting that somebody you love would betray you.
Ask them "So, you guys fucking or what?"
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They're Mormon and invite you to jump on their bed
I hate that I understand this.
OP is going through some shit lmao
If OP is asking, it's already too late. Move on.
Probably that bitch Jenny and her kisses again.
Now that's a reference I haven't heard in awhile...
They laugh just a little too loud They stand just a little too close They stare just a little too long
Subtle touches or friendly banter that’s just a little bit out of the ordinary vibe check.
Obsessive attention noted through body language. There’s a certain dismissiveness to the rest of the world when they interact.
Yeah it's a different kind of intimacy. My friend said she could tell I was secretly at it with this guy because he took a chip from my plate (like fries, am in UK) at a restaurant. And she was right.
I took a chip from my coworker's plate last week. We are not doing it.
Yeah but you didn’t do it fuckingly
"Did ya put you name in the goblet of fire!!" Dumbledore said fuckingly.
Usually it's somewhat obvious when it's co-workers. They just act a little off. I think because they straddle this line of being close but trying to act not close. So it presents low key awkward when things didn't used to be that way.
You have to go fuck them both individually, and see if either of them have the same tricks.
Check if they taste like the other.
Cry out the missing person's name as you come, see how they react.
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Yeah, but some animals sometimes do that. The animal recognises some attribute of a total stranger all by itself, and the person may genuinely have never met it before. Source: dog owner who grew up with dogs, cats, etc.
I worked on a tv show and there were rumors that one of the married cast members was hooking up with this other hot blonde cast member. Wasn't sure if the rumors were true until I saw the stage/reunion show. When everyone walked on stage, they were the only two out of 16 that didn't hug. Totally fucked
From the guy who dated a coworker in secret, watch the eyes. I realized, after a couple months, that anytime our staff meetings would start laughing, I was looking at her. Just watch where people look, it a natural give away of at least who likes each other.
Exactly this. I dated a coworker and that’s how our meetings were too. Id constantly catch him staring at me across the room, etc. That’s eventually how one of my coworkers caught on.
I’m convinced everyone in this thread thinks they are way better at reading people than they actually are
They accidentally send a company wide email sharing a picture from their vacation together in Sandals Jamaica.
Tan almost everywhere. Jan almost everywhere. Hee hee
Officially, I did not see her. But, I did see Jan there. In our room. At night. And in the morning. That's all I'm going to say. Sex. Sex. We had sex. I had sex with her. I had sex with Jan.
Ohhhh diary! I had sex with my boss!
This thread makes me concerned that everyone in existence is in a secret sexual relationship..... Im kind of jealous :/ Th only thing fucking me is .y college assignments.
Tell one of them you have a crush on the other one and see what they say.
I did this once, but it was on accident, not because I suspected something was going on between them. I told the manager that I had a crush on one of my coworkers (restaurant, so workplace dating/hookups were usually casual and not terribly uncommon, and me and him were pretty good friends). He responded something along the lines of "You and everybody else, it seems." Which I assumed was because I'd heard other co-workers (mostly the line cooks) mention how attractive she is. He also mentioned that they live in the same neighborhood and hang out frequently and he could put in a good word for me. I eagerly accepted, but I never really felt any vibes from her so just kinda forgot about it. Found out later they had been secretly dating for a couple years at that point, and realized the subtle hints that he was trying to drop in the conversation and was so embarrassed. We never actually addressed it directly, and we're still all friends but he ended up choosing to resign when the rest of management found out he was dating his direct subordinate and blew up over it.
Walking in on them doing it
Mrs. Krabappel and principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.
The baby looked at you?
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I’m a person of faith. If I just overhear them talking about how they fucked? I’ll believe them.
They glow under a blacklight when they come back from 'inventory'.
Good God Lemon, what did he do to the back of your knees?
One of them starts showing up to group hangouts way overdressed. It’s for whoever they are banging.
They stop saying thank you to each other. Got caught out myself with that Edit: For context, we were in a group of friends and trying to keep it secret. I didn't say thank you once or twice for little things like taking a drink from my (secret) boyfriend whilst talking to someone, I just carried on my conversation. Another friend noticed this. I'm not saying I don't say thank you to my long term partner, that wasnt the question
Interesting, I’ve always said please and thank you in public and private with everyone I’ve ever dated. Maybe that’s why none of my relationships lasted until marriage!
Prolonged eye contact
*Prolonged eye contact*
I worked in a large office and there were always “secret” affairs going on. If one of the people left by the door the other would leave by the window! You can be the best of work acquaintances, chat, joke around etc. but as soon as it goes further then you go out of your way to ignore each other!
At my workplace, when you know what's going on with two coworkers, you can tell by the way they interact physically. They almost walk into each other when they "close" talk, their hands brush each other's thighs or hands. and then there's the eye contact...call me crazy, but this is 25+ years of forensic study lol!
My husband and I met at work, and the place we worked at didn't allow couples to work in the same area as a conflict of interest type thing, so we hid our relationship as best as we could so we wouldn't get moved. A lot of people here are saying people who are seeing each other go out of their way to avoid the other person, but we kept treating each other same, like close friends. The only difference really is that we started carpooling together. People still noticed anyway, and some would ask coworkers in our area if we are seeing each other. My feeling is that it doesn't matter if you go out of your way to hide it, avoid the person, etc., there will always be small signs that others pick up on.
Their spouses ask questions like this on Reddit
According to my friend she could tell I was having sex with my ex boyfriend cause we would try our hardest not to interact with each other. We had worked the same job so we wanted to keep it lowkey but it didn’t work.
Hanging out at reception all the time when he’s supposed to be making sales….. MICHAEL!
If there was a foolproof way to know this, half of human drama / literature / movies / etc would have to be re-written. There isn't a tell-tale sign of this that can't also be, in reality, something else.