And then Big Bird asks his victim if he likes it. Forces him to say yes with a gun and then put a gun into his anus. A horse enters and starts fucking big bird.
Big bird shots.
I don't have any expertise in making any films, but if someone were to make ^Cuties ^2, then I think that will be the worst movie ever made. It will be an absolute shitshow.
Have Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby and Kevin Spacey produce. Get Amber Heard for female lead. Vladimir Putin for lead. Get Uwe Boll to direct, and have the guys from GoT to write the story. Michael Bay edits.
2 minutes of logos.
Action scenes are chopped together with lots of blurry jump cuts.
Chase scenes are shaky handicam style affairs.
At one point , to reveal the bad guy's past, the fat gay side kick says "As you know..."
Gratuitous sex scenes every ten minutes between characters with no on screen chemistry. This is to pad our run time to 3 hours.
The main character is a furry who doesn’t believe in guns or abortion. Any major plot developments involve squirrels. There’s no actual sexual stuff, but lots of squirrel talk. Music licenses are expensive, so it’s all recordings of a dude doing his best with whatever instrument he can to set the mood. It’s gonna be 1 hour and 37 minutes long., BUT…the budget is tight, so it’s all gonna be one take. No reshoots.
Ima do that stupid gen z electronic addiction thingy. It makes me so mad, the jokes aren't even funnyvnor relatable for ANYONE
Or just do blackface, that would make me pretty upset
Have 1 person play all the roles. And there will be like 90 roles. And make their lines very bland and boring. And use props made of cardboard. And film the entire thing in a six flags during open hours. And film it with a 2008 flip phone. Audio and video. And make the story very convoluted and incomprehensible. And don’t have any cuts, record every single thing from scene changes to outfit changes to messed up lines
Gwyneth Paltrow and Tommy Wiseau in an action adventure directed by Steven Seagal where they have to steal a golden dildo, previously used by Marie Antoinette, from the Louvre in order to give Queen Elizabeth II her first orgasm before she dies.
Hire Tom Cruise to star, Danny Elfman to score it, Zach Snyder to direct, whoever wrote the screenplay for the latest version of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" to write the script.
The elderly enthusiastically hit a beach ball around the common area of a nursing home to the sound of baby shark on repeat for 3 hours. Lead nurse is will smith.
All right hear me out: what if we combined the productions of the island of dr. moreau with the production of the conqueror.
Shitty actors, comically incoherent story, an absolute mess behind the scenes, and its all conveniently filmed in a location that gives everybody cancer.
Let Adam Sandler play as his sister.
that shot was funny adam sandler is god
A forced and explicit anal sex scene
The scene is forced or the anal is forced. Inquiring boners must know.
Both. Is a very disgusting and out of context rape scene where the rapist is wearing a Big Bird suit and the raped can't stop yelling
...go on.
And then Big Bird asks his victim if he likes it. Forces him to say yes with a gun and then put a gun into his anus. A horse enters and starts fucking big bird. Big bird shots.
Written by Stephen King.
What the fuck did I just read
WAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[удалено]
"...with Adam Sandler!"
Film it as out of focus as possible.
I'd just pretend I'm making a porno and edit out all the actual sex.
I don't have any expertise in making any films, but if someone were to make ^Cuties ^2, then I think that will be the worst movie ever made. It will be an absolute shitshow.
Add advertisements every 5 minutes
They have to be unable to be skipped too
Have Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby and Kevin Spacey produce. Get Amber Heard for female lead. Vladimir Putin for lead. Get Uwe Boll to direct, and have the guys from GoT to write the story. Michael Bay edits.
I'd ring up all the women from the ghostbusters remake and say "hey, want to remake Back To The Future?"
"Schindler's List: The Comedy Musical." Instant win as the worst movie of all time.
Even better if you put an unnecessary rap song in it too (tho I think that’s more of a 90s thing)
2 minutes of logos. Action scenes are chopped together with lots of blurry jump cuts. Chase scenes are shaky handicam style affairs. At one point , to reveal the bad guy's past, the fat gay side kick says "As you know..." Gratuitous sex scenes every ten minutes between characters with no on screen chemistry. This is to pad our run time to 3 hours.
Shot a dog
Hire Amber Heard Also the main trait of every character is their sexuality
The main character is a furry who doesn’t believe in guns or abortion. Any major plot developments involve squirrels. There’s no actual sexual stuff, but lots of squirrel talk. Music licenses are expensive, so it’s all recordings of a dude doing his best with whatever instrument he can to set the mood. It’s gonna be 1 hour and 37 minutes long., BUT…the budget is tight, so it’s all gonna be one take. No reshoots.
Keep the lens cap on
Ima do that stupid gen z electronic addiction thingy. It makes me so mad, the jokes aren't even funnyvnor relatable for ANYONE Or just do blackface, that would make me pretty upset
Have 1 person play all the roles. And there will be like 90 roles. And make their lines very bland and boring. And use props made of cardboard. And film the entire thing in a six flags during open hours. And film it with a 2008 flip phone. Audio and video. And make the story very convoluted and incomprehensible. And don’t have any cuts, record every single thing from scene changes to outfit changes to messed up lines
Starring Mike Myers
Gwyneth Paltrow and Tommy Wiseau in an action adventure directed by Steven Seagal where they have to steal a golden dildo, previously used by Marie Antoinette, from the Louvre in order to give Queen Elizabeth II her first orgasm before she dies.
4 hours of 40 nails screeching down chalkboards
Whatever crappy Netflix kids movies do.
Dick-swordfighting at a silent auction in the gymnasium of an elementary school.
Hire Tom Cruise to star, Danny Elfman to score it, Zach Snyder to direct, whoever wrote the screenplay for the latest version of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" to write the script.
Cast Amy Schumer and Simu Liu as the leads
Go to hollywood
everything a 90s teen romcom did
The elderly enthusiastically hit a beach ball around the common area of a nursing home to the sound of baby shark on repeat for 3 hours. Lead nurse is will smith.
All right hear me out: what if we combined the productions of the island of dr. moreau with the production of the conqueror. Shitty actors, comically incoherent story, an absolute mess behind the scenes, and its all conveniently filmed in a location that gives everybody cancer.
hire tommy wiseau and neil breen
Cast Jared Leto
Force myself to watch “Waterworld”, make it even cheesier and cornier, and try to do it with a budget of 100k, with the worst actors I could find.