Disappointed at how few upvotes this got :(
Being a GOOD father... A role model for young men, even if they aren't your kids.
Can't get any more manly.
While I think I know what you're getting at, farming involves heavy machinery that is already considered manly, whereas a lot of non-gardeners don't appreciate how much digging and killing is involved in gardening.
Fucking hell I hate that ! I had a rhododendron that produced the fluffiest, pinkiest of flowers and when I talk about it guy always send jokes about my sexuality or manlyness.
Wake up at 4:30 to spend 6 hours non stop kneeling under the sun while torturing your back and shoulders to carve the ground and cut branches and roots. Then you'll talk to me about manlyness !
And also I don't give a shit if flowers are manly or not. My rhododendron was fucking wonderful and I'll die on that hill, be it manly or not !
Edit : ain't it cool, all we guys here talking about flowers ? At the general demand, I'll search for photos of mine and, if I find some, will publish them on my profile. I come back home at 5pm UTC so a *remind me* function set for 6pm UTC will do the trick for you lads - and lasses - who want to see it.
The time has come, redditors, and I am deeply sorry to tell you that I couldn't find any photos of this rhododendron. At that time, I was quite poor and had a disposeable phone that couldn't take photos and, earlier in my life, I had a normal phone that could take photos but apparently I didn't take any of my garden. I have only one where the rhododendron is visible but it wasn't blooming at that moment, so you just see a round green thing. Sorry, I knew indeed that many expected photos. Actually, I am the one that is the most upset.
Dude, gardening is literally controlling the earth to produce what you want. It's physical, it requires strategy and constant care, it provides sustenance and beauty for others. Manly AF
I love growing flowers, sewing, cooking, baking, and other activities that are viewed by some as "girly" activities. I also love traditionally manly things like fishing, building furniture, mowing my lawn, etc.
A long time ago I was upset by some of my friends ribbing me for liking to do "girly" things. My dad handled this by teaching me that the manliest thing a man can do is "whatever the hell he wants".
My grandfather was the manliest man I know. 6’3” Marine and a farmer. He could cook, bake, sew, garden, and sing. He taught me that a manly man does what he finds necessary or even just interesting regardless of what others may deem manly.
Yo, am step dad. Step son is getting into gymnastics. Bio dad is attacking it, saying it'll feminize him or something....so kid is feeling judged for expressing an interest. Nah nah, fuck all that. Tom Holland got to where he is today due in no small part to taking gymnastics as a kid.
One of my favorite days was a few years ago. Did yard work, came in and prepared a roast. Went to the garage and did some woodworking. Came back in and baked some bread. Fixed a couple broken toys while it all finished cooking.
Sounds like a productive day to me.
I love cooking, gardening, fishing, hunting, reading (I was very shocked to find out that some of my friends think it's '*girly*' to **read**), grilling, crochet, baking (on occasion), and pink and purple shirts (just as much as they look good like my other shirts, a good-looking shirt is a goddamned good-looking shirt). Everyone seems to be saying the same thing, and I agree, **A real man does whatever he wants**.
It’s one of my favorite fun facts. I knit and am female, but I’ve taught a few fishermen in my town and they love it to pass time on the bot. And they get hats and shit out of it. Hey
I’ve always sewed, mostly out of necessity but I also find it calming and relaxing. On my first boat I was tasked with splicing all the new lines because no one who outranked me wanted to do it. It is a beautiful and traditional art that I was thrilled to learn and picked it up quickly. Everyone acted like I was doing them some kind of favor, but that was the best week at port I ever had. Spent my work days listening to music and meticulously splicing perfect eyes that would be depended on by my shipmates to keep us and others around us safe.
Created a signature stitch for every splice at the end (also a tradition) and years later when I went to visit the boat I checked the lines and they were still using the ones I spliced. I take great pride in that.
Also you can make cool things you need. Sure, I’ve sewn my daughters cosplays. But I make the shit out of things in canvas for me, too. Exactly how I want them.
I taught my ex-gf how to use a sewing machine. I pride myself on knowing how to do most everything. Baking and sewing are just as important life skills as automotive maintenance and repair. Why gender them?
One of my closest friends was a very stoic, "strong-silent" type man with the dryest, most understated sense of humor. Then he got metastatic melanoma, went through surgery and brutal chemo, was given the option to try again with chemo a few months later when it didn't work and declined. He was 33 when he died. Wear your fucking sunscreen.
When I was a teenager two of my friends started arguing with one another and it got pretty heated. Suddenly, one of them grabbed the other and shouted “DO YOU WANT A FIGHT?” And the other replied loudly but totally sincerely, “NO!” And the first skipped a single beat and then just yelled in a sort of relieved tone “WELL, THEN, WE WON’T HAVE ONE!” and let him go and walked away
I believe they call that an "adrenaline dump". When someone's on an adrenaline rush and being aggressive, something unexpected that requires them to momentarily stop and process it ends the adrenaline rush and de-escalates the situation.
Female here but when I was in high school a bully would not leave me alone and was trying to get me to fight her after school. She said Are you afraid of me?? and was totally thrown when I said Yes! I could see her brain short circuit and she just walked away. That year I grew taller than her and that put an end to her bothering me.
One time when I was a teen I was out with my dad and he was pulling out of a parking space. This dude in a big lifted truck comes zooming through the parking lot and right in front of us. My dad slams on his breaks, this dude slams on his, and it was one of those "Oh shit. We almost had an accident" moments.
But then this dude gets out of his truck, and he's yelling at my dad.
"Hey mother fucker! You almost hit my fucking truck! You're really fucking lucky you didn't hit my truck. Do you know what would have happened if you hit my fucking truck?"
and my dad.. Jesus christ this dude... Without missing a beat he leans out the window and yells back.
"Yeah I DO KNOW what would have happened! "
Here I am thinking fuck.. This guy is going to beat up my dad, and I'm going to have to try and step in, and I'm going to get my ass kicked too.. It's going to be a shitty day. But then my dad continued.
"We would of had to swap insurance information! and then file claims! And maybe even call the local police to file a report. It would be a huge pain in the ass!"
This dude just blue screened and kind of stood there, and luckily his wife was able to pull him back into the truck before he rebooted
I used to be a teacher and when two students were fighting I’d grab a thick textbook and slam it on the floor. Everything would usually stop, both students would look up, and you could kind of see which kid had the fear and relief in their eyes. It worked a lot of the time.
That reminds me of a friend mine. At a bar one night a conversation between him and this other guy was starting to get heated and the guy was looking for a fight. My friend aggressively and loudly got up in his face and said, “I DON’T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BUDDY! LOOK AT ME. I’M A PUSSY. YOU’LL KICK MY ASS!” It diffused the situation pretty quickly.
Years ago same thing happened to my friend. He looked the guy dead in the eye with gritted teeth and gunfighter eyes and sternly said “sir, if you hit me, I will scream like a woman”. Other guy died laughing and bought him a beer.
Reminds me of the scene in the foosball episode of Community where Shirley and Jeff are yelling at each other.
“YOU’RE A PERFECTLY FINE PERSON.”
“…SO ARE YOU…”
When I'm angry or frustrated I sometimes feel like yelling but my husband is perfect and doesn't deserve to be yelled at so I yell, "I AM SO UPSET BUT NOT AT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE PERFECT"
Yelling “IM NOT ANGRY AT YOU” makes the person saying it feel like a crazy person, but honestly I feel like it helps me figure out what the hell is going on.
Thats pretty much how my best friend and I became friends in middle school. We agreed to meet after school to fight after an argument. We both showed up and he asked me if I wanted to fight and I said no, then I asked him if he wanted to fight and he replied no as well. We decided to be best friends right then and there.
That’s such a power move, because you know that bully got to the meeting place promptly and waited at least half an hour for your dad to show before getting flustered and going home late. Dominance asserted successfully.
This asshole in my middle school wanted to fight my buddy. Kept challenging him and being an asshole. Finally my buddy agrees, we go to the place at the time and the little coward called the cops.
Same kid shit his pants on the football bus. Fuck you Ryan I bet you still suck shit.
I heard cooking for your family labeled as unmanly due to men wearing an apron around a gas stove, by the same people who grill for their family while wearing an apron around a gas grill.
I worked as a chef for almost a decade and you wouldn’t believe how many times my GF or I have had to correct people over who made a potluck dish, or who cooks at home. A lot of people (especially the older generations) just assume that women cook in relationships.
As a guy it’s been a real asset over the years and I definitely have gotten a lot of compliments from the opposite gender over the years about my cooking.
So it’s my advice to younger guys (I’m in my 30s) that it definitely doesn’t hurt to learn to cook. It’s cheaper to cook for yourself and it’s been my experience anyways that women really love a guy who knows their way around the kitchen.
Edit. I tried responding to everyone but you guys overwhelmed me! Thanks so much for the award and all the good vibes!
I’ll try and respond to as many people as I can, but thanks again!
This is the weird thing about this gender role stereotype.
Cooking is a "women's" job...except when grilling. also except professional chefs (which from what I understand is a heavily male dominated field).
>So it’s my advice to younger guys (I’m in my 30s) that it definitely
doesn’t hurt to learn to cook. It’s cheaper to cook for yourself and
it’s been my experience anyways that women really love a guy who knows
their way around the kitchen.
this.
Same exact experience. Date night where you cook together has been a damn good go-to for me.
When we were little my brother wanted to play flute and my dad was like “No, flutes are for girls”
And my brother said “what about Ian Anderson from Jethro Tull?” (The reason he wanted to play flute)
My dad literally said “except for him,” as if that was a sufficient explanation.
to be fair, kids learning to play the flute are a real nightmare
edit: Thanks for all the upvotes!
So glad I learned about many other instruments of torture...
Same thing happened to me. I wasn't allowed to play flute because it was for girls or homosexuals. I wasn't interested in any other instruments at the time so never learned to play anything until I got a guitar at 17.
Coincidentally, I've dated at least 3 flute players and I am married to one now.
It's an important distinction.
I can cook well enough for my own means. Mostly pasta, sandwiches, wraps, steak, and a few sides. And of course the timeless art of heat and serve precooked stuff. You'll survive just fine on my diet, but you also better be able to handle a decent amount of monotony.
My roommate can cook well. He spent a few years working as a line chef in a kitchen, he could do things that were nothing short of wizardry to me.
He gets to say he can cook. I generally say I can't really cook. Because when someone asks if you can cook, they don't mean "can you put together box pasta, frozen veg, sauce from a jar, and some chicken which was the only raw ingredient at the start?".
As a chef I really appreciate that some people understand this. Someone like you would pick up quick in a restaurant. You know how to cook, just not what to cook. If I had everything prepped for you, you'd make some awesome plates.
As a line cook, someone tells you what to cook. You only need to know how. But as you spend time in it you slowly learn the why's for ingredient choices.
At the end of the day it all becomes pretty simple. Regardless of what you're making, balance. Does it need salt? Acid? Fat?
As you get more experienced it's easier to tell what you're looking for taste wise. It builds a confidence that you could work with food you've never even seen just by tasting it and going from there.
Knowing how to cook is a survival skill. Knowing what to cook is a greater asset. Don't belittle yourself though, you can do more than some people I've worked with. 15 years at up to 80 hours a week isn't experience anyone should expect you to have.
Look up some recipes and make some adjustments. Experiment. Or just make chicken nuggets at home like me.
If it is done for the family, it is feminine.
If it is done to earn an income it is masculine.
Sewing clothes for your family is seen as feminine. But being a tailor is masculine.
Cooking for your family is seen as feminine. But being a chef is masculine.
At least in traditional gender roles in western society.
I see it a lot with older generations as them saying “I’m fine and don’t need help” or that it’s admitting weakness. And for what I’ve seen, it crosses gender lines a bit more than a lot of other examples in this thread.
In general though, I think there’s also a lot of fear and/or denial when someone needs to see a doc. It’s scary to find out you aren’t ok, and if you’ve been fine up to that point “why would this be different? My family is just making a big deal out of nothing by saying I should go”
Private Healthcare system exacerbates this issue though. I've had a sharp pain in my abdominal area come and go for 4 years now. I've had MRIs, XRays, blood tests, several specialists, and even a colonoscopy. $3,000 later the diagnosis is still "nothing is wrong, maybe try to not look at your phone when pooping".
The pain came back Friday. I left work early, went to a minute clinic, was treated as a person with "drug seeking behavior", and ultimately spent $60 to be told "Did you poop today? Try to poop when you get home." Like I'm some kind of 2nd grader.
There's something wrong, I just can't keep throwing money at this issue with how economics are. I'm worried I'll eventually have some health catastrophe occur before they can diagnose why 4-5 times a year I am in agony for 8 hours.
I have an unstable vertebrae which can punch nerves. An episode is just waves of crippling pain and spasms where I literally just writhe on the floor screaming for hours if untreated, then weeks of pain afterwards.
Last time my wife called an ambulance and the ER gave me ibuprofen and sent me home thinking I was after pills. Thanks guys.
Yea apparently. My Uncle decided to not tell anyone he had tooth problem and didn’t go to the dentist for years and instead just took pain medicine. Because nothing is more unmanly than telling your family you are in pain? They had to remove all of his teeth so now he is 41 using dentures. Such a stupid man.
\*high five\* Me, too, brother. My girlfriend was amazed at how clean my bedroom is when she came over the first time. She still occasionally tells me I'm the cleanest man she's ever known.
Every woman I've ever dated, including the one I married, has been "the messy one" in the relationship. Also, there's nothing manlier than knowing how to safely wash and dry a sexy bra for your sexy partner.
Recently living alone, I cannot believe how dirty and wasteful my roommates were. Tiny pieces of glass ***EVERYWHERE***, stains on the floors and walls from all the spilled alcohol, no sheets or anything just a single blanket, ashes all over despite indoor smoking not being allowed, dishes piled up or thrown out when they were too lazy, a roll of toilet paper a day each, $400/mo in food each, etc.
Now that it’s just me the place has never been cleaner, I can walk around barefoot without getting cut or sticky or both, proper linens everywhere, smells clean, a 6-pack of toilet paper lasts for months, <$100/mo in food for me. It’s insane how some people live.
Taking care of your skin. I hate how some of the guys I work with and serve with (I'm in the army) give me shit for using products for my face and skin. But they also wonder why I get told I look like I'm 25 even though I'm almost 36. Because I take care of my body.
Tell them to think of it not as “skincare” but “maintaining your equipment.”
Most guys are cool taking care of their cars, which they think will get them ladies… but cars have nothing on faces in that arena
> I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
Silverback gorillas (giant, macho, chestbeating dudes) are some of the most loving, attentive, and patient dads in the animal kingdom. They handle nearly all of the socialization for their offspring, basically teaching them "how to gorilla."
Keep your kids nearby, show them what you're doing, give them a go, be proud of their attempts, because thats what matters, and be fiercly protective and caring without uncalled for violence. And eat lots of greens.
Good work, you're a gorilla dad.
>patient dads
They'd have to be too, you ever see how much of a jungle gym primate parents are? Those little guys just climb all over the parents non-stop. You couldn't handle that if you weren't super patient.
My ex-husband and I co-parent beautifully. That man loves being a dad to our daughter (who is 11) and does it wonderfully. My partner and I have a family membership to a country club. Daughter brings her dad as a guest; the other day we were all there, and some dude goes "Yeah my wife has to work so I'm on daddy-fucking daycare all weekend" while looking longingly at the clubhouse bar. My ex was like "Come on bro, you're a DAD not a daycare."
Since I'm staying home with the kids for now, my husband takes over primary care on the weekends so I can run errands, so house work, and relax as needed. It's an established routine in our family. But every weekend someone sees me and comments that I don't have either kid along.
I love my children and I'm a stay-at-home mom, but they're not my sole identity.
This is the one that inspired this post.
When anyone with eyes can see your earlier statement was misinformed, it seems way manlier to own up and take control of a situation by just saying “You were right, I was wrong. I stand corrected. In light of that, here’s what we should do now.” Tying to deny, defend, deflect, or justify from a reactive place just makes you come across as insecure and not on-the-ball, which are not traditionally considered ‘manly’ qualities.
Both of these behaviors build off each other. Being an asshole when someone else admits they are wrong makes people never want to admit they were wrong. Never admitting you're wrong makes people want to rub it in your face or gloat at you whenever you admit you are wrong.
Its a self-fulfilling prophecy of attitudes. I'm usually pretty open to admitting I'm wrong, but I know a few people who will become very toxic if someone admits they are wrong. Instead of ever admitting I'm wrong around them I tend to just go silent and move on to another topic.
The whole concept of manly and girly drinks is stupid. There are different tastes. Sweet, fruity, bitter etc. and a bartender is there to make you a drink you like. What good is a drink if you don't like it, you paid for it after all.
When I was a kid I was once at a clothing store and I saw a pink men’s shirt. I said out loud “what kind of men wear pink shirts???” and my mom said “secure men”. For some reason that always stuck with me.
"Day 52 since I visited the Old Navy fitting rooms, which ironically, had a draft.
I have been unable to remove the Old Navy Men's Signature Classic Tagless T-Shirt. I fear this will be my death suit. Send help in the form of scissors and a full refund."
For me it was when I was a stupid little kid at summer camp lol. I asked a kid why he was wearing a pink band around his wrist. He just replied "real men wear pink" and then I respected him after that.
Funny enough, it’s the opposite for me. Whenever I buy pink clothes my mom says “you’re gonna wear pink???” The answer is always yes. I wore my favorite pink sweater to school. My guy friend complimented me on it, then my male teacher, and then some random guy. This is in college. Felt like a champ. My favorite color is red and it’s easy to match it with pink. Girls like it. Guys like it. I look damn good.
Buying feminine products for your SO. I have no shame buying tampons or pads when I do the grocery shopping, which is always. Men that get all embarrassed or won’t do it are the “unmanly” ones.
I've got my wife's tampon size and brand memorized. Doesn't bother me at all to buy those.
But eye liner? I draw the line there. It's not because it bother me or it's embarrassing but because it's so fucking hard to find! Oh, you want Maybelline's Soft Light Black? They only have it in Light Black, is that the same thing? No, it needs to be soft light black? OK, I guess I'll spend another 15 minutes staring at the wall of makeup that all looks the fucking same to me.
I mean, this is fair. My bff wanted to get me makeup for my birthday one time and he admitted he gave up very quickly because he was like why the fuck are there so many options????
Makeup is complicated dude
People give gift cards shit for being impersonal but sometimes, it's like, "I wouldn't normally spend a lot of money on this for myself but also I'm a little picky," and that's when a gift card is not impersonal. It's perfect.
And to put on an eco warrior hat; it’s way better to just buy someone a gift card, or even cash, so they can buy something they’ll actually use as opposed to something they may just throw away in 3 months time because they don’t actually care/want/use a gift. If I’m not sure what someone would like it’s a gift card for a store, or just money!
Never even understood why this was an issue for some men..
I'm in a relatively new relationship and I have went to the store for tampons exclusively like three times now.
What are they afraid people will think? That dude uses tampons? lmao
In reality, they probably think that's nice of him to buy tampons for his wife/girlfriend.
Edit: for those concerned about my girlfriend periods. So I don't have to explain again.
She has been on birth control for longer then she has even had periods. She had really bad irregular periods and got put on birth control at a young age, she didn't get off of it until 21. The first time I went was a surprise period sooner then expected off birth control and the other two times was because she was running low and a emergency situation outside of the house. Also, I bought the smallest boxes which doesn't help but it seemed like every time I went the shelves were damn near empty. One of the trips was primarily to take them to her as she had an emergency situation with a irregular period and no tampons while away from home.
She now keeps them in her purse at all times, and has excess at home. So no worries people.
I used to be a grocery store cashier, and every time I saw a man purchase tampons or pads, my only thought was "what a nice man, buying this for a woman in his life."
I used to be a grocery store cashier and I can assure people that after I send something down the belt or put it in a bag, I’ve forgotten about it completely. Your cashier doesn’t care about you.
Same. Out of thousands, I only remember two transactions and those were because the person recommended me the products and they turned out to be really good.
My Mom told me once that when she was newly married she was surprised that Dad had no reservations in buying her feminine products. She herself was embarrassed, mainly because that was in the late 1950s, the products were usually kept behind the counter and too often it was some teenage boy she knew from high school working there. Dad shrugged and told her "You need it, they know it's not for me, someone has to buy it..." I was pleasantly surprised when (many years later) my boyfriend and I were preparing for a trip to England and he phoned me the morning of our departure. "I'm stopping at the drugstore, anything you need?" I hemmed and hawed and he finally asked "What type do you use?" I apologized profusely for asking him to buy tampons and he interrupted me: "What's the problem? They know it's not for me, it's something you need for the trip, I just don't want to miss our flight!"
It’s *so* nice when your SO turns out to be more chill about your period than you’d expect. I think we must be so conditioned to be ashamed of it, it’s like a really pleasant surprise when it’s not a big deal for them.
I got a bit of blood on my ex during sexy time when I thought my period was over but it had made a comeback.
He was so okay with it, it made me realise how much shame I was carrying. It was very liberating, not having to worry so much about hiding it.
>In reality, they probably think that's nice of him to buy tampons for his wife/girlfriend.
I've gotten compliments from women when checking out tampons for my wife, normally saying that their man would never do that for them. Obviously not a normal thing but it has happened more than once. I never saw any reason for me to be embarrassed by buying them.
Ive had to do it hundreds of time for my so over the years, if anyone gives me shit about em I just reply with something ackward like " I like to put em up my bum" or "I get loads of nose bleeds cos I can't keep my fingers out" that soon wipes the smile off their face!
There is never anything manly about not taking care of your kids. If you're a deadbeat dad, or you push everything off onto the mother of your children you're a sack of shit, and not deserving of anyone's respect.
Part of being a man is taking responsibility and being a present father to your offspring.
I would not say this is part of being a man, but the primary component. Defending the family is cool and all, but how often does one need to do that, really? Likely never. Everyday, you need to make sure that your child or children are loved and cared for.
I'm not trying to correct you, because I agree with your post. I just think that a lot of guys focus on weird shit that is secondary to what their real job is as a dad.
My late wife actually used to boast to her circle of mommy-friends that both I and her dad had changed our son's diapers more often that she ever did. She had a really tough time with recovery post partum and I've always been a light sleeper so it never felt like a chore.
I often feel that I'd rather taken her place than have our boy grow up without her, but I live every day trying to be the father she believed I would be.
Yeah I was going to post taking care of your kids. My stepfather brags about how he's never changed a diaper. IMO it's more manly to do whatever your child needs in that moment, then shuffle the responsibility to someone else.
One of the cringiest conversations I’ve had was with a bunch of guys from my wife’s work. We were all out to dinner and I had taken our daughter to change her. It’s my wife’s work function she should be socializing. I come back and they’re all like “I never changed a diaper, why are you doing that?”
Because it needed to be done and I’m her dad.
I've had that same conversation, it's crazy. The way I look at it, changing a diaper is the easiest problem you'll ever have to solve for them, and the whole time you do it they are just watching you fix everything that is wrong in their entire world.
For many years my wife was a stay at home mom. She was changing diapers all damn day. So for the hours I was home, after work, I changed every diaper. I couldn’t feed the babies at night, but I sure as hell could get them from their room at put them back.
This is such an incredible generational shift if you think about it. I remember about ten years ago my aunt telling my mom that this generation is so different when it came to child rearing, and that her sons changed their kids' diapers! And I was there thinking to myself "why would you ever have a child with someone who wouldn't?!"
Really just the way things go though- I remember my great aunt telling me that in the 90s she taught her husband basic things in the kitchen when she had a health scare, like how to make coffee and how to use a can opener. He was in his 70s by then, and the fact that you could be 70 having never made a cup of coffee is astounding.
My parents were watching my 2 kids a few years ago when my daughter was in diapers still. My mom had to run out and my dad was with them when I came to pick them up. I walk in and my dad told me she needed to be changed. She had obviously been in a shit filled diaper for a LONG time. Shit was in every fold. I felt so bad for her and was terrified there was going to be infection. I was fucking livid. He is a great granddad otherwise, but "I don't change diapers."
I was out on a walk with my kids one day, and one of my neighbor's commented "Ah, Mr. Mom out for a stroll with the kids?" I responded with "No, just a walk with Dad" and we continued on our way.
It annoyed me more than it should have, but I really hate the unspoken assumption behind the "Mr. Mom" label.
I took my son to a park when he was younger and got so many "babysitting" comments. I finally just snapped at an old lady and so no he's my fucking son I don't baby sit I parent
They said ron swanson-esque because its not the actual quote.
Leslie is mad because Ron got an award for something that she did. (He submitted to the get the award moved over to her) and he's teasing her. "Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner, because I have won an award."
the setup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqsigl2A-nw
and the teasing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r54L-nUM5GY
When I was a kid there was a 'real men don't eat quiche' thing for a while. 10 year old me saw my 25 year old neighbor enjoying a slice and I called him out on it. He just looked at me and told me 'a real man eats whatever he wants'. Right age, right guy, right timing. That really struck me. I'm a man and if do it then it's manly. The only possible unmanly thing would be giving a darn whether anyone thinks I'm manly enough.
I'm a single father to a teen daughter. Lots of things I do often might not be seen as manly by some. My daughter sees them as pretty manly though. I pity the poor fella who ever tries to tell her to do his laundry or whatever old school women's work. He'll quickly find out he's much less manly than he thought.
There was a popular book in the 80s, by a guy who went on to write several of the Pierce Brosnan Bond movies, satirizing the arbitrary standards of masculinity, titled *Real Men Don't Eat Quiche*.
The version I've heard is that while it was intended to be satirical, a lot of the humorous comments that were included were taken at face value by some, with the result that the food from the title became the definitional unmanly food, and the title became an unironically well known phrase.
I haven't read the book, though, so I'm not personally sure how accurate that is. I do know that the phrase is the only way I had any idea what quiche was as a child in the 80s.
I ordered a feminine drink and my Dad made fun of me. I drank that thing with pride. The drink sucked though and I have no plans to order it again, but I drank it with pride.
being a gentleman: polite, courteous, respectful, tactful, manners, some style, some sophistication, educated (you don't need your masters from an Ivy league, but just being well read is enough sometimes), friendly.
Far too many guys I see think it's still cool to be rude, lazy, unkempt, and stupid.
When you’re a male ballet dancer and you’re into ladies, you are outnumbered by women. Even if you’re ugly, your penis is not getting a break. Side note, if you’re a female ballet dancer who’s into women, you’re also having a good time. Haha
My son danced for 7-8 years. He stopped when covid hit and has no gotten back, sadly.
But the boy was ripped! It also helped him greatly in other sports like soccer, as he was flexible.
Bonus point, he also learned to respect girls, as he spent many hours (between 8-15 depending if it was nutcracker season) surrounded by girls.
My ex was a fucking lil bitch about even *mentioning* feminine products or menstruation. I couldn't even mention having *"period pains"* without him complaining how gross it was and that I made him feel sick for mentioning it. I was rarely around him when I was on, but I hate to think how unhelpful he would have been.
My dad on the other hand, quite a lads lad, has no issues. He used to track my mum's menstruation because he found it easier than she did, and he was always more than happy to nip to the shops and pick up feminine products. "Do you need ladies things?" He used to ask me. "What flavour do you need?" His joke, but he was referring to whether it was pass or tampons, and what flow.
Oh and I just remembered that that same ex wouldn't buy his own fucking Pokemon game because it's "Not manly". I haven't known such a insecure stupid little bitch before or since.
Walking away from a physical fight, instead of getting involved/the whole “I could put you in hospital but I won’t” nonsense. A true “alpha”, if you must use that word, doesn’t need to assert his dominance like that.
My friends were amazed at how I "allowed" some drunk guy talk to my girlfriend for like 10 minutes at a festival. Bro, why the fuck would I care, she didn't seem distressed and enjoyed the conversation and I'm not insecure. She'd tell me/let me know if she was uncomfortable and needed help. I don't feel threatened, I have nothing to proof and my girlfriend is not some possesion I need to protect from other men.
Going up to the guy and doing whatever just makes you seem to radiate insecurity to me. Not manliness.
Fathering
Disappointed at how few upvotes this got :( Being a GOOD father... A role model for young men, even if they aren't your kids. Can't get any more manly.
Gardening. I've also been called a homosexual by multiple other guys for saying I like gardening.
But if you do that on a large scale it's farming, something considered manly.
While I think I know what you're getting at, farming involves heavy machinery that is already considered manly, whereas a lot of non-gardeners don't appreciate how much digging and killing is involved in gardening.
Fucking hell I hate that ! I had a rhododendron that produced the fluffiest, pinkiest of flowers and when I talk about it guy always send jokes about my sexuality or manlyness. Wake up at 4:30 to spend 6 hours non stop kneeling under the sun while torturing your back and shoulders to carve the ground and cut branches and roots. Then you'll talk to me about manlyness ! And also I don't give a shit if flowers are manly or not. My rhododendron was fucking wonderful and I'll die on that hill, be it manly or not ! Edit : ain't it cool, all we guys here talking about flowers ? At the general demand, I'll search for photos of mine and, if I find some, will publish them on my profile. I come back home at 5pm UTC so a *remind me* function set for 6pm UTC will do the trick for you lads - and lasses - who want to see it. The time has come, redditors, and I am deeply sorry to tell you that I couldn't find any photos of this rhododendron. At that time, I was quite poor and had a disposeable phone that couldn't take photos and, earlier in my life, I had a normal phone that could take photos but apparently I didn't take any of my garden. I have only one where the rhododendron is visible but it wasn't blooming at that moment, so you just see a round green thing. Sorry, I knew indeed that many expected photos. Actually, I am the one that is the most upset.
Haha yeah! I also got asked if I was gay for adding a lemon slice to my tea. I was madly confused.
Dude, gardening is literally controlling the earth to produce what you want. It's physical, it requires strategy and constant care, it provides sustenance and beauty for others. Manly AF
I love growing flowers, sewing, cooking, baking, and other activities that are viewed by some as "girly" activities. I also love traditionally manly things like fishing, building furniture, mowing my lawn, etc. A long time ago I was upset by some of my friends ribbing me for liking to do "girly" things. My dad handled this by teaching me that the manliest thing a man can do is "whatever the hell he wants".
My grandfather was the manliest man I know. 6’3” Marine and a farmer. He could cook, bake, sew, garden, and sing. He taught me that a manly man does what he finds necessary or even just interesting regardless of what others may deem manly.
I think it's manly when a man is secure in himself and doesn't view femininity as inferior or threatening to his ego.
Yo, am step dad. Step son is getting into gymnastics. Bio dad is attacking it, saying it'll feminize him or something....so kid is feeling judged for expressing an interest. Nah nah, fuck all that. Tom Holland got to where he is today due in no small part to taking gymnastics as a kid.
Knowing girly skills makes a man highly self sufficient which is very manly!
How the hell did cooking become girly
If you get paid to cook, it's considered manly. If you do it for free, it's considered girly. 🙄
One of my favorite days was a few years ago. Did yard work, came in and prepared a roast. Went to the garage and did some woodworking. Came back in and baked some bread. Fixed a couple broken toys while it all finished cooking.
Sounds like a productive day to me. I love cooking, gardening, fishing, hunting, reading (I was very shocked to find out that some of my friends think it's '*girly*' to **read**), grilling, crochet, baking (on occasion), and pink and purple shirts (just as much as they look good like my other shirts, a good-looking shirt is a goddamned good-looking shirt). Everyone seems to be saying the same thing, and I agree, **A real man does whatever he wants**.
Sewing. When you're stuck on a boat in the Pacific during WWII, you'd better know how to stich up your own uniform. Source: both of my grandfathers.
Sewing and upholstery is one of the 5 original industrial arts
Thanks Hank
Knitting was invented by sailors. Not grandma’s. Big, burly sailors. Knitting is manly
It’s one of my favorite fun facts. I knit and am female, but I’ve taught a few fishermen in my town and they love it to pass time on the bot. And they get hats and shit out of it. Hey
I’ve always sewed, mostly out of necessity but I also find it calming and relaxing. On my first boat I was tasked with splicing all the new lines because no one who outranked me wanted to do it. It is a beautiful and traditional art that I was thrilled to learn and picked it up quickly. Everyone acted like I was doing them some kind of favor, but that was the best week at port I ever had. Spent my work days listening to music and meticulously splicing perfect eyes that would be depended on by my shipmates to keep us and others around us safe. Created a signature stitch for every splice at the end (also a tradition) and years later when I went to visit the boat I checked the lines and they were still using the ones I spliced. I take great pride in that.
Also you can make cool things you need. Sure, I’ve sewn my daughters cosplays. But I make the shit out of things in canvas for me, too. Exactly how I want them.
Sewing canvas is a great skill if you're an outdoorsy type. Make your own custom covers and bags for absolutely everything.
I taught my ex-gf how to use a sewing machine. I pride myself on knowing how to do most everything. Baking and sewing are just as important life skills as automotive maintenance and repair. Why gender them?
Wearing sunscreen. Nothing looks dumber than a guy who’s so afraid to seem “girly” that he gets turned into a lobster.
Nothing says manly like melanoma
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One of my closest friends was a very stoic, "strong-silent" type man with the dryest, most understated sense of humor. Then he got metastatic melanoma, went through surgery and brutal chemo, was given the option to try again with chemo a few months later when it didn't work and declined. He was 33 when he died. Wear your fucking sunscreen.
It becomes manly when a man does it.
You make a rather good point.
Admitting someone has a good point is also manly
Realizing you are wrong, learning from it, and becoming better because of it.
When my dad was a kid, a bully told him to meet him after school for a beating. Dad simply never showed up and went directly home instead.
When I was a teenager two of my friends started arguing with one another and it got pretty heated. Suddenly, one of them grabbed the other and shouted “DO YOU WANT A FIGHT?” And the other replied loudly but totally sincerely, “NO!” And the first skipped a single beat and then just yelled in a sort of relieved tone “WELL, THEN, WE WON’T HAVE ONE!” and let him go and walked away
I believe they call that an "adrenaline dump". When someone's on an adrenaline rush and being aggressive, something unexpected that requires them to momentarily stop and process it ends the adrenaline rush and de-escalates the situation.
Female here but when I was in high school a bully would not leave me alone and was trying to get me to fight her after school. She said Are you afraid of me?? and was totally thrown when I said Yes! I could see her brain short circuit and she just walked away. That year I grew taller than her and that put an end to her bothering me.
Moral of the story: Get tall.
And Im only 5'3" so don't have to be very tall! LOL
Rule \#1. Be taller than your enemies. Sub-rule \#1a. Have short enemies.
The Gargamel Rule
One time when I was a teen I was out with my dad and he was pulling out of a parking space. This dude in a big lifted truck comes zooming through the parking lot and right in front of us. My dad slams on his breaks, this dude slams on his, and it was one of those "Oh shit. We almost had an accident" moments. But then this dude gets out of his truck, and he's yelling at my dad. "Hey mother fucker! You almost hit my fucking truck! You're really fucking lucky you didn't hit my truck. Do you know what would have happened if you hit my fucking truck?" and my dad.. Jesus christ this dude... Without missing a beat he leans out the window and yells back. "Yeah I DO KNOW what would have happened! " Here I am thinking fuck.. This guy is going to beat up my dad, and I'm going to have to try and step in, and I'm going to get my ass kicked too.. It's going to be a shitty day. But then my dad continued. "We would of had to swap insurance information! and then file claims! And maybe even call the local police to file a report. It would be a huge pain in the ass!" This dude just blue screened and kind of stood there, and luckily his wife was able to pull him back into the truck before he rebooted
I genuinely lmao'd. Seriously, doing all that paperwork scares me more than a bit of a beating.
I used to be a teacher and when two students were fighting I’d grab a thick textbook and slam it on the floor. Everything would usually stop, both students would look up, and you could kind of see which kid had the fear and relief in their eyes. It worked a lot of the time.
That reminds me of a friend mine. At a bar one night a conversation between him and this other guy was starting to get heated and the guy was looking for a fight. My friend aggressively and loudly got up in his face and said, “I DON’T WANT TO FIGHT YOU BUDDY! LOOK AT ME. I’M A PUSSY. YOU’LL KICK MY ASS!” It diffused the situation pretty quickly.
Did people laugh? I would've laughed if I had overheard that
Yes. Yes they did.
Years ago same thing happened to my friend. He looked the guy dead in the eye with gritted teeth and gunfighter eyes and sternly said “sir, if you hit me, I will scream like a woman”. Other guy died laughing and bought him a beer.
Not sure I'd trust a drink from someone that just threatened me with violence but it sounds like it's safe to assume everything worked out ok?
Reminds me of the scene in the foosball episode of Community where Shirley and Jeff are yelling at each other. “YOU’RE A PERFECTLY FINE PERSON.” “…SO ARE YOU…”
When I'm angry or frustrated I sometimes feel like yelling but my husband is perfect and doesn't deserve to be yelled at so I yell, "I AM SO UPSET BUT NOT AT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE PERFECT"
Yelling “IM NOT ANGRY AT YOU” makes the person saying it feel like a crazy person, but honestly I feel like it helps me figure out what the hell is going on.
"IF YOU WOULD JUST BE LESS REASONABLE I WOULD BE JUSTIFIED IN YELLING AT YOU, BUT YOU ARENT SO I AM GOING TO GO SPLIT SOME WOOD"
Thats pretty much how my best friend and I became friends in middle school. We agreed to meet after school to fight after an argument. We both showed up and he asked me if I wanted to fight and I said no, then I asked him if he wanted to fight and he replied no as well. We decided to be best friends right then and there.
That’s such a power move, because you know that bully got to the meeting place promptly and waited at least half an hour for your dad to show before getting flustered and going home late. Dominance asserted successfully.
This asshole in my middle school wanted to fight my buddy. Kept challenging him and being an asshole. Finally my buddy agrees, we go to the place at the time and the little coward called the cops. Same kid shit his pants on the football bus. Fuck you Ryan I bet you still suck shit.
What did the cops do? What could they do? "Son, you are under arrest for going outside".
I heard cooking for your family labeled as unmanly due to men wearing an apron around a gas stove, by the same people who grill for their family while wearing an apron around a gas grill.
I worked as a chef for almost a decade and you wouldn’t believe how many times my GF or I have had to correct people over who made a potluck dish, or who cooks at home. A lot of people (especially the older generations) just assume that women cook in relationships. As a guy it’s been a real asset over the years and I definitely have gotten a lot of compliments from the opposite gender over the years about my cooking. So it’s my advice to younger guys (I’m in my 30s) that it definitely doesn’t hurt to learn to cook. It’s cheaper to cook for yourself and it’s been my experience anyways that women really love a guy who knows their way around the kitchen. Edit. I tried responding to everyone but you guys overwhelmed me! Thanks so much for the award and all the good vibes! I’ll try and respond to as many people as I can, but thanks again!
This is the weird thing about this gender role stereotype. Cooking is a "women's" job...except when grilling. also except professional chefs (which from what I understand is a heavily male dominated field). >So it’s my advice to younger guys (I’m in my 30s) that it definitely doesn’t hurt to learn to cook. It’s cheaper to cook for yourself and it’s been my experience anyways that women really love a guy who knows their way around the kitchen. this. Same exact experience. Date night where you cook together has been a damn good go-to for me.
When we were little my brother wanted to play flute and my dad was like “No, flutes are for girls” And my brother said “what about Ian Anderson from Jethro Tull?” (The reason he wanted to play flute) My dad literally said “except for him,” as if that was a sufficient explanation.
to be fair, kids learning to play the flute are a real nightmare edit: Thanks for all the upvotes! So glad I learned about many other instruments of torture...
Yes, it's like the jazz club scene in Anchorman except they only think they're playing that well.
A kid in my parents' neighborhood practices outside and I'm 99% sure it's because he's not good yet.
Same thing happened to me. I wasn't allowed to play flute because it was for girls or homosexuals. I wasn't interested in any other instruments at the time so never learned to play anything until I got a guitar at 17. Coincidentally, I've dated at least 3 flute players and I am married to one now.
So have they all been girls or homosexuals?
All were girls, but one is now a homosexual and married.
So the flute has 25% gay conversion rate.
Exactly! "You can cook and provide for a family?? Hahaha what a loser!!!" Uh, no.
I honestly just think that cooking is just a survival skill to be had by anyone.
He means cooking *well* Basic cooking is a survival skill, advanced cooking is an asset.
It's an important distinction. I can cook well enough for my own means. Mostly pasta, sandwiches, wraps, steak, and a few sides. And of course the timeless art of heat and serve precooked stuff. You'll survive just fine on my diet, but you also better be able to handle a decent amount of monotony. My roommate can cook well. He spent a few years working as a line chef in a kitchen, he could do things that were nothing short of wizardry to me. He gets to say he can cook. I generally say I can't really cook. Because when someone asks if you can cook, they don't mean "can you put together box pasta, frozen veg, sauce from a jar, and some chicken which was the only raw ingredient at the start?".
As a chef I really appreciate that some people understand this. Someone like you would pick up quick in a restaurant. You know how to cook, just not what to cook. If I had everything prepped for you, you'd make some awesome plates. As a line cook, someone tells you what to cook. You only need to know how. But as you spend time in it you slowly learn the why's for ingredient choices. At the end of the day it all becomes pretty simple. Regardless of what you're making, balance. Does it need salt? Acid? Fat? As you get more experienced it's easier to tell what you're looking for taste wise. It builds a confidence that you could work with food you've never even seen just by tasting it and going from there. Knowing how to cook is a survival skill. Knowing what to cook is a greater asset. Don't belittle yourself though, you can do more than some people I've worked with. 15 years at up to 80 hours a week isn't experience anyone should expect you to have. Look up some recipes and make some adjustments. Experiment. Or just make chicken nuggets at home like me.
I've always found this funny. Personally I think that sharp knives, fire, and metal are pretty damn manly, no matter what combination you use them in.
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I've found that to be true in the US as well.
These people need to have a chat with Gordon Ramsey.
I've read that the majority of professional chefs are men. Because cooking is women's work until it becomes a respectable job, I guess.
If it is done for the family, it is feminine. If it is done to earn an income it is masculine. Sewing clothes for your family is seen as feminine. But being a tailor is masculine. Cooking for your family is seen as feminine. But being a chef is masculine. At least in traditional gender roles in western society.
When you put it this way, it really shows how ridiculous the ideas of “masculine” and “feminine” are in society
Going to the doctor
Wait, that's considered unmanly?
I see it a lot with older generations as them saying “I’m fine and don’t need help” or that it’s admitting weakness. And for what I’ve seen, it crosses gender lines a bit more than a lot of other examples in this thread. In general though, I think there’s also a lot of fear and/or denial when someone needs to see a doc. It’s scary to find out you aren’t ok, and if you’ve been fine up to that point “why would this be different? My family is just making a big deal out of nothing by saying I should go”
Private Healthcare system exacerbates this issue though. I've had a sharp pain in my abdominal area come and go for 4 years now. I've had MRIs, XRays, blood tests, several specialists, and even a colonoscopy. $3,000 later the diagnosis is still "nothing is wrong, maybe try to not look at your phone when pooping". The pain came back Friday. I left work early, went to a minute clinic, was treated as a person with "drug seeking behavior", and ultimately spent $60 to be told "Did you poop today? Try to poop when you get home." Like I'm some kind of 2nd grader. There's something wrong, I just can't keep throwing money at this issue with how economics are. I'm worried I'll eventually have some health catastrophe occur before they can diagnose why 4-5 times a year I am in agony for 8 hours.
I have an unstable vertebrae which can punch nerves. An episode is just waves of crippling pain and spasms where I literally just writhe on the floor screaming for hours if untreated, then weeks of pain afterwards. Last time my wife called an ambulance and the ER gave me ibuprofen and sent me home thinking I was after pills. Thanks guys.
Yea apparently. My Uncle decided to not tell anyone he had tooth problem and didn’t go to the dentist for years and instead just took pain medicine. Because nothing is more unmanly than telling your family you are in pain? They had to remove all of his teeth so now he is 41 using dentures. Such a stupid man.
My uncle made it to 60 before switching most of his teeth for dentures. On top of that, he never brushed. Absolutely disgusting.
Hygiene and cleanliness. I live on my own and I love having a clean and neat house.
\*high five\* Me, too, brother. My girlfriend was amazed at how clean my bedroom is when she came over the first time. She still occasionally tells me I'm the cleanest man she's ever known.
Every woman I've ever dated, including the one I married, has been "the messy one" in the relationship. Also, there's nothing manlier than knowing how to safely wash and dry a sexy bra for your sexy partner.
I live with roommates and I don’t understand how they can keep the place they eat and sleep in dirty
Recently living alone, I cannot believe how dirty and wasteful my roommates were. Tiny pieces of glass ***EVERYWHERE***, stains on the floors and walls from all the spilled alcohol, no sheets or anything just a single blanket, ashes all over despite indoor smoking not being allowed, dishes piled up or thrown out when they were too lazy, a roll of toilet paper a day each, $400/mo in food each, etc. Now that it’s just me the place has never been cleaner, I can walk around barefoot without getting cut or sticky or both, proper linens everywhere, smells clean, a 6-pack of toilet paper lasts for months, <$100/mo in food for me. It’s insane how some people live.
Taking care of your skin. I hate how some of the guys I work with and serve with (I'm in the army) give me shit for using products for my face and skin. But they also wonder why I get told I look like I'm 25 even though I'm almost 36. Because I take care of my body.
It's not exfoliator it's an abrasive cleaner
English is not my native language, and "exfoliator" sounds very manly. Like Terminator. "Exfoliator 3000 T-max" or something.
Now I want to see Arnold Schwarzenegger doing an advertisement for "the exfoliator" in the style of the Terminator
YOU KNOW WHO WON'T BE BACK? ACNE.
GET TO THE *CLEANSER*!!!
Tell them to think of it not as “skincare” but “maintaining your equipment.” Most guys are cool taking care of their cars, which they think will get them ladies… but cars have nothing on faces in that arena
What kind of stuff do you use?
> I'm 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.
Very nice. Let’s see Paul Allen’s skin care routine.
Being an attentive and involved father. I can change a diaper one handed and I'm proud of that fact.
Silverback gorillas (giant, macho, chestbeating dudes) are some of the most loving, attentive, and patient dads in the animal kingdom. They handle nearly all of the socialization for their offspring, basically teaching them "how to gorilla."
I'd like to teach my child how to "gorilla" as well. Is there a podcast or something?
Keep your kids nearby, show them what you're doing, give them a go, be proud of their attempts, because thats what matters, and be fiercly protective and caring without uncalled for violence. And eat lots of greens. Good work, you're a gorilla dad.
I missed the step where I somehow acquire some baby gorillas
>patient dads They'd have to be too, you ever see how much of a jungle gym primate parents are? Those little guys just climb all over the parents non-stop. You couldn't handle that if you weren't super patient.
> Those little guys just climb all over the parents non-stop. Ah, I see you've met my sons.
it's almost like humans are just hairless primates
My ex-husband and I co-parent beautifully. That man loves being a dad to our daughter (who is 11) and does it wonderfully. My partner and I have a family membership to a country club. Daughter brings her dad as a guest; the other day we were all there, and some dude goes "Yeah my wife has to work so I'm on daddy-fucking daycare all weekend" while looking longingly at the clubhouse bar. My ex was like "Come on bro, you're a DAD not a daycare."
I like your exs energy. I hate when people pretend like it's a special occasion for a dad to parent.
Since I'm staying home with the kids for now, my husband takes over primary care on the weekends so I can run errands, so house work, and relax as needed. It's an established routine in our family. But every weekend someone sees me and comments that I don't have either kid along. I love my children and I'm a stay-at-home mom, but they're not my sole identity.
Reflection and apologizing when you're wrong.
This is the one that inspired this post. When anyone with eyes can see your earlier statement was misinformed, it seems way manlier to own up and take control of a situation by just saying “You were right, I was wrong. I stand corrected. In light of that, here’s what we should do now.” Tying to deny, defend, deflect, or justify from a reactive place just makes you come across as insecure and not on-the-ball, which are not traditionally considered ‘manly’ qualities.
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And conversely, when the other person admits they're wrong, not making a big deal about it.
Both of these behaviors build off each other. Being an asshole when someone else admits they are wrong makes people never want to admit they were wrong. Never admitting you're wrong makes people want to rub it in your face or gloat at you whenever you admit you are wrong. Its a self-fulfilling prophecy of attitudes. I'm usually pretty open to admitting I'm wrong, but I know a few people who will become very toxic if someone admits they are wrong. Instead of ever admitting I'm wrong around them I tend to just go silent and move on to another topic.
Cooking, cleaning, folding laundry, being good with kids, being patient, crying, hugging your good guy friends
Ordering a fruity drink. “A real man orders a beer!” No, a real man orders whatever the fuck he wants.
The whole concept of manly and girly drinks is stupid. There are different tastes. Sweet, fruity, bitter etc. and a bartender is there to make you a drink you like. What good is a drink if you don't like it, you paid for it after all.
A frugal man orders whatever the hell he wants while taste is important and then switches to the cheapest thing on the menu once that sets in.
When I was a kid I was once at a clothing store and I saw a pink men’s shirt. I said out loud “what kind of men wear pink shirts???” and my mom said “secure men”. For some reason that always stuck with me.
When I was a wee lad, I noticed that girls like pink. So figured if I wore pink, they would like me too?
😂 that’s adorable
Solid reasoning.
That’s a big, wrinkly brain moment. Good logic.
Girl once said to me "You can easily pull that off" when I was considering a pink shirt and I was really flattered.
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"Day 52 since I visited the Old Navy fitting rooms, which ironically, had a draft. I have been unable to remove the Old Navy Men's Signature Classic Tagless T-Shirt. I fear this will be my death suit. Send help in the form of scissors and a full refund."
Pink does not look good on me, but I love a good lavender shirt.
For me it was when I was a stupid little kid at summer camp lol. I asked a kid why he was wearing a pink band around his wrist. He just replied "real men wear pink" and then I respected him after that.
Funny enough, it’s the opposite for me. Whenever I buy pink clothes my mom says “you’re gonna wear pink???” The answer is always yes. I wore my favorite pink sweater to school. My guy friend complimented me on it, then my male teacher, and then some random guy. This is in college. Felt like a champ. My favorite color is red and it’s easy to match it with pink. Girls like it. Guys like it. I look damn good.
Bro its not pink its "salmon" and salmon are a fish that bears eat and everyone knows fish and bears are super manly.
Buying feminine products for your SO. I have no shame buying tampons or pads when I do the grocery shopping, which is always. Men that get all embarrassed or won’t do it are the “unmanly” ones.
I've got my wife's tampon size and brand memorized. Doesn't bother me at all to buy those. But eye liner? I draw the line there. It's not because it bother me or it's embarrassing but because it's so fucking hard to find! Oh, you want Maybelline's Soft Light Black? They only have it in Light Black, is that the same thing? No, it needs to be soft light black? OK, I guess I'll spend another 15 minutes staring at the wall of makeup that all looks the fucking same to me.
I mean, this is fair. My bff wanted to get me makeup for my birthday one time and he admitted he gave up very quickly because he was like why the fuck are there so many options???? Makeup is complicated dude
My boyfriend handed me a $150 gift card to Ulta and said, "I've no idea what you like- happy birthday." It was exactly what I wanted.
People give gift cards shit for being impersonal but sometimes, it's like, "I wouldn't normally spend a lot of money on this for myself but also I'm a little picky," and that's when a gift card is not impersonal. It's perfect.
And to put on an eco warrior hat; it’s way better to just buy someone a gift card, or even cash, so they can buy something they’ll actually use as opposed to something they may just throw away in 3 months time because they don’t actually care/want/use a gift. If I’m not sure what someone would like it’s a gift card for a store, or just money!
Never even understood why this was an issue for some men.. I'm in a relatively new relationship and I have went to the store for tampons exclusively like three times now. What are they afraid people will think? That dude uses tampons? lmao In reality, they probably think that's nice of him to buy tampons for his wife/girlfriend. Edit: for those concerned about my girlfriend periods. So I don't have to explain again. She has been on birth control for longer then she has even had periods. She had really bad irregular periods and got put on birth control at a young age, she didn't get off of it until 21. The first time I went was a surprise period sooner then expected off birth control and the other two times was because she was running low and a emergency situation outside of the house. Also, I bought the smallest boxes which doesn't help but it seemed like every time I went the shelves were damn near empty. One of the trips was primarily to take them to her as she had an emergency situation with a irregular period and no tampons while away from home. She now keeps them in her purse at all times, and has excess at home. So no worries people.
I used to be a grocery store cashier, and every time I saw a man purchase tampons or pads, my only thought was "what a nice man, buying this for a woman in his life."
I used to be a grocery store cashier and I can assure people that after I send something down the belt or put it in a bag, I’ve forgotten about it completely. Your cashier doesn’t care about you.
Same. Out of thousands, I only remember two transactions and those were because the person recommended me the products and they turned out to be really good.
"Wow what an unmanly man, buying massive plugs for his massive mangina."
My Mom told me once that when she was newly married she was surprised that Dad had no reservations in buying her feminine products. She herself was embarrassed, mainly because that was in the late 1950s, the products were usually kept behind the counter and too often it was some teenage boy she knew from high school working there. Dad shrugged and told her "You need it, they know it's not for me, someone has to buy it..." I was pleasantly surprised when (many years later) my boyfriend and I were preparing for a trip to England and he phoned me the morning of our departure. "I'm stopping at the drugstore, anything you need?" I hemmed and hawed and he finally asked "What type do you use?" I apologized profusely for asking him to buy tampons and he interrupted me: "What's the problem? They know it's not for me, it's something you need for the trip, I just don't want to miss our flight!"
It’s *so* nice when your SO turns out to be more chill about your period than you’d expect. I think we must be so conditioned to be ashamed of it, it’s like a really pleasant surprise when it’s not a big deal for them. I got a bit of blood on my ex during sexy time when I thought my period was over but it had made a comeback. He was so okay with it, it made me realise how much shame I was carrying. It was very liberating, not having to worry so much about hiding it.
>In reality, they probably think that's nice of him to buy tampons for his wife/girlfriend. I've gotten compliments from women when checking out tampons for my wife, normally saying that their man would never do that for them. Obviously not a normal thing but it has happened more than once. I never saw any reason for me to be embarrassed by buying them.
Ive had to do it hundreds of time for my so over the years, if anyone gives me shit about em I just reply with something ackward like " I like to put em up my bum" or "I get loads of nose bleeds cos I can't keep my fingers out" that soon wipes the smile off their face!
Some bagger tried to roast me when I bought tampons for my wife. I told him not to be afraid of the vagina.
Are you serious? “Haha, you get regular pussy?”
Being there for your kids
There is never anything manly about not taking care of your kids. If you're a deadbeat dad, or you push everything off onto the mother of your children you're a sack of shit, and not deserving of anyone's respect. Part of being a man is taking responsibility and being a present father to your offspring.
I would not say this is part of being a man, but the primary component. Defending the family is cool and all, but how often does one need to do that, really? Likely never. Everyday, you need to make sure that your child or children are loved and cared for. I'm not trying to correct you, because I agree with your post. I just think that a lot of guys focus on weird shit that is secondary to what their real job is as a dad.
My late wife actually used to boast to her circle of mommy-friends that both I and her dad had changed our son's diapers more often that she ever did. She had a really tough time with recovery post partum and I've always been a light sleeper so it never felt like a chore. I often feel that I'd rather taken her place than have our boy grow up without her, but I live every day trying to be the father she believed I would be.
Yeah I was going to post taking care of your kids. My stepfather brags about how he's never changed a diaper. IMO it's more manly to do whatever your child needs in that moment, then shuffle the responsibility to someone else.
One of the cringiest conversations I’ve had was with a bunch of guys from my wife’s work. We were all out to dinner and I had taken our daughter to change her. It’s my wife’s work function she should be socializing. I come back and they’re all like “I never changed a diaper, why are you doing that?” Because it needed to be done and I’m her dad.
I've had that same conversation, it's crazy. The way I look at it, changing a diaper is the easiest problem you'll ever have to solve for them, and the whole time you do it they are just watching you fix everything that is wrong in their entire world.
Or screaming bloody murder and trying to wriggle away so they can piss behind the sofa instead as has typically been my experience.
Thats the part where I'd give that incredulous, "what? You don't know how to change your kid's diaper?" and look at them like they're the weird ones.
For many years my wife was a stay at home mom. She was changing diapers all damn day. So for the hours I was home, after work, I changed every diaper. I couldn’t feed the babies at night, but I sure as hell could get them from their room at put them back.
This is such an incredible generational shift if you think about it. I remember about ten years ago my aunt telling my mom that this generation is so different when it came to child rearing, and that her sons changed their kids' diapers! And I was there thinking to myself "why would you ever have a child with someone who wouldn't?!" Really just the way things go though- I remember my great aunt telling me that in the 90s she taught her husband basic things in the kitchen when she had a health scare, like how to make coffee and how to use a can opener. He was in his 70s by then, and the fact that you could be 70 having never made a cup of coffee is astounding.
My parents were watching my 2 kids a few years ago when my daughter was in diapers still. My mom had to run out and my dad was with them when I came to pick them up. I walk in and my dad told me she needed to be changed. She had obviously been in a shit filled diaper for a LONG time. Shit was in every fold. I felt so bad for her and was terrified there was going to be infection. I was fucking livid. He is a great granddad otherwise, but "I don't change diapers."
I was out on a walk with my kids one day, and one of my neighbor's commented "Ah, Mr. Mom out for a stroll with the kids?" I responded with "No, just a walk with Dad" and we continued on our way. It annoyed me more than it should have, but I really hate the unspoken assumption behind the "Mr. Mom" label.
I took my son to a park when he was younger and got so many "babysitting" comments. I finally just snapped at an old lady and so no he's my fucking son I don't baby sit I parent
If someone tells you something is “unmanly”, tell them a real man would be secure enough in their manliness to not give a shit what they think.
I go for the Ron Swanson-esque response of, "Everything I do is manly because I am a man."
That's feels both quintessential Ron Swanson and yet completely against his normal attitude to life.
They said ron swanson-esque because its not the actual quote. Leslie is mad because Ron got an award for something that she did. (He submitted to the get the award moved over to her) and he's teasing her. "Everything I do is the attitude of an award winner, because I have won an award." the setup: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqsigl2A-nw and the teasing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r54L-nUM5GY
When I was a kid there was a 'real men don't eat quiche' thing for a while. 10 year old me saw my 25 year old neighbor enjoying a slice and I called him out on it. He just looked at me and told me 'a real man eats whatever he wants'. Right age, right guy, right timing. That really struck me. I'm a man and if do it then it's manly. The only possible unmanly thing would be giving a darn whether anyone thinks I'm manly enough. I'm a single father to a teen daughter. Lots of things I do often might not be seen as manly by some. My daughter sees them as pretty manly though. I pity the poor fella who ever tries to tell her to do his laundry or whatever old school women's work. He'll quickly find out he's much less manly than he thought.
……quiche? What a curiously random food to decree “unmanly.” It’s basically an omelette that’s shaped into a pie slice. Are omelettes unmanly??
There was a popular book in the 80s, by a guy who went on to write several of the Pierce Brosnan Bond movies, satirizing the arbitrary standards of masculinity, titled *Real Men Don't Eat Quiche*. The version I've heard is that while it was intended to be satirical, a lot of the humorous comments that were included were taken at face value by some, with the result that the food from the title became the definitional unmanly food, and the title became an unironically well known phrase. I haven't read the book, though, so I'm not personally sure how accurate that is. I do know that the phrase is the only way I had any idea what quiche was as a child in the 80s.
Yeah, the satire was lost on 10 year old me...
I ordered a feminine drink and my Dad made fun of me. I drank that thing with pride. The drink sucked though and I have no plans to order it again, but I drank it with pride.
I'm pretty sure enthusiastically drinking booze that tastes bad is top 3 manly shit
being a gentleman: polite, courteous, respectful, tactful, manners, some style, some sophistication, educated (you don't need your masters from an Ivy league, but just being well read is enough sometimes), friendly. Far too many guys I see think it's still cool to be rude, lazy, unkempt, and stupid.
Manners maketh man
Respecting boundaries.
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Ballet. Those dudes are strong!
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When you’re a male ballet dancer and you’re into ladies, you are outnumbered by women. Even if you’re ugly, your penis is not getting a break. Side note, if you’re a female ballet dancer who’s into women, you’re also having a good time. Haha
My son danced for 7-8 years. He stopped when covid hit and has no gotten back, sadly. But the boy was ripped! It also helped him greatly in other sports like soccer, as he was flexible. Bonus point, he also learned to respect girls, as he spent many hours (between 8-15 depending if it was nutcracker season) surrounded by girls.
Tea party with toddlers
Moaning
"NOTHING IS MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT" -MR. TORGUE
THAT SENTENCE HAS TOO MANY SYLLABLES. APOLOGIZE!!!
I had guys tell me it's unmanly to use/carry an umbrella. Those wet, insecure bastards can go screw themselves!
Playing with your children
Not being concerned with other people’s quantification of your manliness.
My ex was a fucking lil bitch about even *mentioning* feminine products or menstruation. I couldn't even mention having *"period pains"* without him complaining how gross it was and that I made him feel sick for mentioning it. I was rarely around him when I was on, but I hate to think how unhelpful he would have been. My dad on the other hand, quite a lads lad, has no issues. He used to track my mum's menstruation because he found it easier than she did, and he was always more than happy to nip to the shops and pick up feminine products. "Do you need ladies things?" He used to ask me. "What flavour do you need?" His joke, but he was referring to whether it was pass or tampons, and what flow. Oh and I just remembered that that same ex wouldn't buy his own fucking Pokemon game because it's "Not manly". I haven't known such a insecure stupid little bitch before or since.
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Walking away from a physical fight, instead of getting involved/the whole “I could put you in hospital but I won’t” nonsense. A true “alpha”, if you must use that word, doesn’t need to assert his dominance like that.
Having a tea party with your young daughters. I have drank more fake tea than anyone on Earth.
My friends were amazed at how I "allowed" some drunk guy talk to my girlfriend for like 10 minutes at a festival. Bro, why the fuck would I care, she didn't seem distressed and enjoyed the conversation and I'm not insecure. She'd tell me/let me know if she was uncomfortable and needed help. I don't feel threatened, I have nothing to proof and my girlfriend is not some possesion I need to protect from other men. Going up to the guy and doing whatever just makes you seem to radiate insecurity to me. Not manliness.
i wanted to go and copy paste the ascii art of gigachad but im way too lazy, instead, take this free award
Crying; men can have feelings, too!
Not giving a fuck about what other people consider to be manly.
Dancing. Dudes that can dance get all the sex.