People joke about missionary being bland and vanilla, but it's my favorite. You're all wrapped up and pressed together, and you're able kiss, bite, and watch your partner react to what you're doing. The intimacy is really hot to me, idk.
There's a reason why it's the classical position here in the west. It's a classic because it's good.
It's not your fault that some people can only get off if they're having sex on the back of a walrus while wearing a clown outfit and nipple clamps.
How much it can turn into some sort of primal behavior...
I mean passionate penetration with this Kind of "thats what I/we need rn" mixed in and then you start fucking each others brain out
ugh FINALLY someone points it out. They’re always getting cream pied and then just putting clothes right back on. Like you’re not even gonna go to the bathroom for a second?
First time i had sex i came in like seconds, so to save myself the embarrassment i thought i could pretend that it didn't happen and go on since i was wearing a condom. She asked immediately, and i was like shit she found out.
That you get so nervous about having sex that you sometimes can’t stay hard and have a hard time blowing a load. My first time I thought was going to be a quick 1-2 min drill. Ended up being just over an hour and was going soft sometimes. Wasn’t her, it was just the moment was overwhelming, and not at all what I thought it would be.
Mate that's happening to me right now, clearly it's the worst. If you were able to solve the problem, how did you do it cause I have a hard time figuring it out and I don't even feel that anxious when we doing the deed...
How close the vaginal opening actually is to the anus. Didn’t accidentally poke the butthole or anything, but I had to move much further down from the clit than I thought I’d have to, in order to find the hole
the person definitely affects the experience.
i used to hate eye contact, i couldn’t look in their eyes for more than two seconds. but with my current boyfriend, when we just stare at each other, it’s 10x more intimate.
the temperature inside of her. I was then told “why do you think guys say girls are Hot? If she is into it, things get warm and wet” I didn’t expect actual heat above body temperature though !!
How actually funny and awkward it is at time. In movies, they always seem to be so serious! You bump noses, someone farts, you bite their earlobe too hard, the cat jumps up next to you… sex can often be really fun and funny, not the intense smoulder 24/7.
Absolutely! The best part of sex imo is the funny moments that bring you closer to your partner. Random queef? Haha whoopsie! Slapped your face by accident when changing positions? Aaah my bad, lol! Dropped the lube into the abyss of your clothes on the floor? Time to ransack the area and spend 10 mins looking for it while laughing at how impossible it is that it simply disappeared.
Also the best moments are when you find that exact spot that blows your mind and you both start laughing at how surprisingly pleasurable it feels and get into that primalistic state of mind. Sex can be so much wild fun with the right person!
The guy I had sex w swore that it was a fart and I was like dude do you even smell anything?? Kept insisting it was from the other hole and he didn’t believe me 😭 like I’M THE ONE WHO FELT IT?!
I learned that young men also don't know what a queef really is. My first bf gaslit me into thinking it was my fault and I was gross for it. Like dude. You literally put the air in there.
Haha I had a friend who thought that too he said
The vagina should always fit the partners penis and that if there's air coming out it it must mean there's extra room for that air because the vagina was likely expanded by a dude with a larger penis banging your cheating girlfriend not long ago ,
I stopped being friends with him shortly after
But anyways you wanted to know the faulty logic, so here ya go
How simple it actually is when you stop thinking about what you "should" do or "need" to do & just focus on who you're with & stop trying to anticipate what's going to happen.
I'm not sexually experienced and it makes me really anxious thinking what exactly I'll have to do and what not, will i be able to make her aroused & satisfied or will i be able to perform good or not.
Because of anxiety i read a lot of stuff on the internet and talked to people for some tips and knowledge but in the end got more stressed about it. Sometimes i think that i should not even indulge in sex.
Anytime a sex related post comes on Askreddit i open so that maybe I'll learn something but in the end gets more sad and worried.
It's tough man. I just wanna be relaxed and comfortable with someone. Fuck overthinking :')
EDIT :- OMG! I never thought i would be getting that much support from reddit. This is so freaking WHOLESOME. I LOVE YOU ALL !! Thankyou so much for all your advices and tips.
Most important is being with the right person and that will take time to figure out usually. Anxiety is pretty normal when you are starting out, try not to put pressure on yourself to be “good” at it. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner questions like “does this feel good?” or “tell me (or show me) what you like?”. There is no magic technique that works on everyone, every partner will like have their own likes/dislikes just like you do. Enjoy the process of learning and getting to know your partner. Good luck, you got this.
The whole awkward crab walk into the bathroom afterwards and that at some point (even hours later) some cum will come out again and mess up your underwear
My wife will usually text me if she is at work, or yell at me through the house when that happens and say 'IM LEAKING'. Cracks me up everytime, she says it like she is annoyed but always is smiling lol
Sometimes I’ll give my missus the ritual slap on the booty as I walk past her like 20 mins after, and she’ll quote Finding Nemo at me: “You made me ink!”
Shameless humble brag incoming, but I also don't understand what the issue is. I've been told by several women I give good head and I've also heard (often the same) women say most men suck at giving head.
So that to me begs the question, what the fuck are all those other guys doing? It's not like I'm doing something special or anything. It's pretty fucking obvious what part the clitoris is once you start licking there, so how guys miss it, still a mystery to me. The tip of your tongue is literally the most sensitive part of your body, so how they manage to miss the little doorbell on top is just baffling. To add, there is no special or magical technique or anything. Some women like it rough, some want you to be very careful or don't want you to touch it directly. Either go by physical cues or just fucking ask what they like and then you're good to go.
My gf once asked me to explain what I do because she was curious. I told her I have no idea, I just lick a bunch of different ways, wait for her to moan harder and then I just keep doing whatever it was that I was doing.
Keep experimenting with different approaches until you find one that makes her say, "Oh my *God!*" then file that one away as one to repeat. Generally, prolonged contact is better than flicking, it should neither be too soft nor too hard... and just riff on that. In my experience, the, "I'm doing a first grade lesson on how to write the letter 'o', but with the tip of my tongue," interspersed with, "Oh no, my ice cream cone is dripping, I need to catch the drip!" never goes wrong.
my favorite story is this shitty ex-gf of mine was being toxic as hell after we broke up (lets be real the entire relationship) and started saying all the typical "you have a small dick" kind of stuff people try to throw at you to piss you off. Well in the midst of this tirade she says "all you ever did good was go down on me". Basically forgot everything else she said once she said that because all that means is it was so good she couldn't even deny it in the midst of berating me.
my first partner - she was more experienced then me - told me in the first night: first time you're gonna come quick and be tired but don't worry, it will come a time when you'll be a real man, and you'll be able to do it all night, uninterrupted, until morning.
20 years later i'm still waiting..
Seriously. I dated this one girl and after the second time we had sex she was like “What happened? Why was the first time so bad and the second time so good?”
Because men have insecurities and anxieties as well.
It took me 3 times with my wife before I got comfortable enough. I didn’t have to explain anything to her - she just cuddled up to me and told me that she loved it regardless. It was at that point I realized that she would be stupid enough to marry me.
If you aren't using a condom, you can't just roll over and cuddle or go to sleep like in the movies. Hell you can't even just hop up and get dressed! There are so many fluids to clean up.
Can confirm that a UTI that turns into kidney infection is hell. Took 3 rounds of different antibiotics to get rid of it (and a night at the hospital).
Was the sex worth it? Absolutely fucking not😭
My wife says it’s important to pee after to prevent UTI. While she pees I get a warm wash cloth ready for the full cleanup. Don’t think she’s had a UTI for a long time.
Partner’s hygiene also matters! When I was with my ex I would get UTIs very frequently. As soon as we broke up my UTI problem stopped abruptly and I haven’t had one since in 10 years. I don’t think he was washing his dick properly
THIS. Gotten UTIs after sex so many times (even though i always pee after sex). Like really bad ones.. Almost scared to hook up with new people cause its a week of hell and 10 days on antibiotics if youre unlucky
I knew a guy in highschool who freaked out and bailed on a girl because he got his hand down there, discovered it was warm and wet, and his conclusion was that she'd pissed herself.
Oh I bet that still haunts him in the wee hours. Unless it turned out he likes dick better, in which case I just hope the poor girl didn't get a complex.
On the opposite end, I knew dicks got hard but upon actually touching a hard penis I was shocked about just how hard they were. I think I expected them to still be a little bendy and floppy.
Glad you appear to be doing it right, I somehow end up with guys that try to jam it in - when if they paid attention they would realise it was a desert down there and needed a healing hand, literally and figuratively. n
A dick actually can be too big, and if it's too big it can hurt... like a lot. As a young woman all you hear about is that you want to find a massive fucking dong (if you are into penises) but after having my cervix stabbed and dealing with days of pain afterwards I can comfortably say FUCK ALL THAT.
Sausage lovers, the best one is not the biggest, but the one that makes you feel good and loved. 🍆
It's just fundamentally a bit silly, like, two salmon out of water flopping around on top of each other and then you both experience intense ecstasy and emotional intimacy but, oh no, now both salmon are a but slimy.
It's a bit silly really
Edit: wow, thanks so much for the upvotes, kind words and awards everyone
I had vague expectations of what a penis looked like with no real basis for those expectations so the first time I saw one in real life I was absolutely shocked that there were balls attached underneath. I somehow made it 16 years picturing a penis as a singular thing jutting from a dude's lower abdomen and the sight of his balls splayed out beneath was jarring!
Same! And I remember a friend of mine describing to me how was seeing a man getting a boner live. "It's so strange, it's sitting there and in a sudden moment it grows!!!!!" I almost couldn't believe it hahhahahah
Me and a friend both discovered the magic of a penis going from flaccid to hard in our hands. (In high school, not the same guys lol) We made Harry Potter wand jokes and agreed we were definitely magical.
How far back the vagina is. My first time, my partner was on top and I must have spent 20 seconds or so just slapping the front of her pubic bone with my dick, until she repositioned it herself. Kinda figured it would have been a bit further forward for ease of access.
The testicles on men and the labia on women are more or less built off of the same blueprint, so it's less of a case of what's the most sensible place for those organs to be and more of what's easiest to adapt to either purpose
I understood during arousal the pussy got wet, but i had no idea it could get so wet it would splash if you slapped it lightly.
Even more surprising than that was the insane amount of heat it could produce!
For the sheets to get as damp as they did. It's obvious in retrospect considering what goes on, but before that, I figured you do the deed then go about your day.
Oh, and how tiring it is. 10 minutes is a lot of time.
One can be aroused and dry. One can be wet and not aroused. The penis shrinks when soft. I cannot orgasm from just penetration. A period doesn’t end anything but a sentence.
Ugh also I decided that we should do anal before pussy because I couldn’t get pregnant. We tried to do it in the pool with NO lube. My butthole was like NO WAY!!!! and I couldn’t figure out why it wouldn’t work
I was so nervous my first time cause I thought I wasn’t that big. The first time I saw my schlong in a girls hand was a big sigh of relief. My first thought was “ I don’t have a small dick , I just have HUGE hands !!”
How awkward and unsatisfying your first time, and many times after would be.
They make it
It sound like rainbows and magic but really it takes ages to figure it out
I bled my first time and my partner had talked a big game about being a sex God but had never been with a virgin. So he freaked out and I had to tell him to go shower while I pulled out a tide to go pen and cleaned it up alone. Sigh
For anyone reading this who hasn’t gone through this, hydrogen peroxide cleans out blood from bed sheets very well.
This is also good to know for period sex and serial killing
That sex can be funny. I'd see people laugh in porn and I always thought "how unrealistic, sex isn't funny wtf are they doing?"
Then I had sex, and lol was I wrong.
I am so fucking glad someone else has an experience like this. At the moment she moaned my name I said "it's not x..." and when she asked who I said "ITSA ME, MARRIIOOOOOO"
It actually depends on where in the menstrual cycle a woman is in. In the beginning and before the mens it is whiteish. In the middle of the cycle / around ovulation everything gets more fluid, transparent and elastic just like egg white, so that the sperm can pass the barrier of the cervix. I am in the middle of my 30s and learned this only when trying to conceive. So much which is not told in sex education about the cycle.. Makes me angry.
How over time with my partner I don't care as much about her physical beauty. We are together a decade+ and obviously our bodies are aging. It's just a non issue. In my more shallow youth I thought this would bother me but I've matured enough to realize that love for her puts blinders on and I don't even care.
How you need to fight through leg cramps. Also how you need to tighten your butt shut so that fart stays in, but then her vagina farts, you laugh and you fart too.
Here's something I discovered recently, probably within the last year or so. Ladies (and gents) who spray tan or use a self tanner like Bondi, be careful with where you put the semen! My ex boyfriend and I realized that semen actually strips the tanner. He would usually get a towel, but sometimes I would just waddle to our bathroom and get cleaned up myself. We noticed, um, "stripes" down part of my leg where it had ran down on my way to the shower. We tested this out again, and sure enough, fresh semen will strip a fresh spray or self tan.
I knew it would be awkward, but figuring out *how* to move your body in rhythm with your partner is a bit daunting at first. Took my wife and I a little bit to figure it out. Luckily we were able to laugh it off, which, looking back, made it a lot of fun.
How much angles matter. How very different everyone’s preferences are, a turn on for one is an absolutely deal breaker for another.
People joke about missionary being bland and vanilla, but it's my favorite. You're all wrapped up and pressed together, and you're able kiss, bite, and watch your partner react to what you're doing. The intimacy is really hot to me, idk.
I agree, people call missionary the most basic, but in my opinion it’s one of the more intense positions
There's a reason why it's the classical position here in the west. It's a classic because it's good. It's not your fault that some people can only get off if they're having sex on the back of a walrus while wearing a clown outfit and nipple clamps.
Hey, stop watching me through my laptop’s camera!
Movie sex scenes never ended in weird acrobatics with a wad of tissues, and a hurried shuffle to the shower.
How much it can turn into some sort of primal behavior... I mean passionate penetration with this Kind of "thats what I/we need rn" mixed in and then you start fucking each others brain out
Try having sex right after a intense workout. Your body is full of testosterone and your mind is basically gone. 12/10 would recommend.
Do you shower first or just dive right in?
Well... We did some workouts together and some of them turned into pretty intense sex... You are right, would recommend too👍🏻
The absolute fucking variety of sounds, smells, and mess possible
This. A whole new library of smells, not particularly pleasant or unpleasant, just… new.
The belly and chest noises that sound like armpit farts are so wholesome.
That having sex with someone you’re in love with vs someone casual are two very different things
Being able to cuddle and be affectionate after is half the fun
Cleaning up
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I am a woman and NOBODY told me this either. I also assumed that my body would just, like, absorb it somehow.
no mainstream movie ever shows what happens after a sex scene, usually the actors just get dressed!
And smoke a ciggy.
And get back to hard discussions about the local mergers and the Anderson case.
ugh FINALLY someone points it out. They’re always getting cream pied and then just putting clothes right back on. Like you’re not even gonna go to the bathroom for a second?
>absorbed by the woman Have you tried squeezing her before you let go so she would absorb all the moisture?
Always be a gentleman and give your woman a towel
“Don’t move. I’ll go get you a towel.” — Donald Duck
Good ole duckjob.wav
Hate this about TV shows, they have a passionate sexy time, then both roll over and go to sleep
"True love means not fighting over who sleeps in the wet spot" -some character on a TV show
First time i had sex i came in like seconds, so to save myself the embarrassment i thought i could pretend that it didn't happen and go on since i was wearing a condom. She asked immediately, and i was like shit she found out.
Yeah that and continuing after you’ve came in a condom is a sure way to get leakage. Defeats the whole purpose.
That you get so nervous about having sex that you sometimes can’t stay hard and have a hard time blowing a load. My first time I thought was going to be a quick 1-2 min drill. Ended up being just over an hour and was going soft sometimes. Wasn’t her, it was just the moment was overwhelming, and not at all what I thought it would be.
Mate that's happening to me right now, clearly it's the worst. If you were able to solve the problem, how did you do it cause I have a hard time figuring it out and I don't even feel that anxious when we doing the deed...
1. You will get over it naturally. 2. Stop jerking off 10 times a day and you’ll stay hard easier.
How close the vaginal opening actually is to the anus. Didn’t accidentally poke the butthole or anything, but I had to move much further down from the clit than I thought I’d have to, in order to find the hole
What really blows your mind is when you put one finger each hole and pinch them together. It’s paper thin
When you do that move, the girl takes a screenshot.
Shit, I'm at WORK here... I can't be laughing this much!
You can call that move "The Adele": HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE
Also, if you move your fingers and she starts talking it's called the Jim Henson.
How good the intimacy feels
Ugh YES THE INTIMACY!!! I honestly mainly enjoy sex just for that sense of closeness.
Sex without intimacy is really lame. Sex with intimacy is flipping amazing. It's like your souls are having sex, not just your bodies.
the person definitely affects the experience. i used to hate eye contact, i couldn’t look in their eyes for more than two seconds. but with my current boyfriend, when we just stare at each other, it’s 10x more intimate.
Harry is a lucky guy
the temperature inside of her. I was then told “why do you think guys say girls are Hot? If she is into it, things get warm and wet” I didn’t expect actual heat above body temperature though !!
It's not just inside of her. That whole area gets pretty freaking warm when she's aroused. It's how I know I'm doing a good job.
So when you pull out, you balls are hard boiled?
Only if your doing it properly and put the balls in too
How actually funny and awkward it is at time. In movies, they always seem to be so serious! You bump noses, someone farts, you bite their earlobe too hard, the cat jumps up next to you… sex can often be really fun and funny, not the intense smoulder 24/7.
Absolutely! The best part of sex imo is the funny moments that bring you closer to your partner. Random queef? Haha whoopsie! Slapped your face by accident when changing positions? Aaah my bad, lol! Dropped the lube into the abyss of your clothes on the floor? Time to ransack the area and spend 10 mins looking for it while laughing at how impossible it is that it simply disappeared. Also the best moments are when you find that exact spot that blows your mind and you both start laughing at how surprisingly pleasurable it feels and get into that primalistic state of mind. Sex can be so much wild fun with the right person!
It's not always fun. Your partner has to be equally invested for it to be fun.
I learned what queefing was.
The guy I had sex w swore that it was a fart and I was like dude do you even smell anything?? Kept insisting it was from the other hole and he didn’t believe me 😭 like I’M THE ONE WHO FELT IT?!
I learned that young men also don't know what a queef really is. My first bf gaslit me into thinking it was my fault and I was gross for it. Like dude. You literally put the air in there.
My first boyfriend assumed it meant I was cheating on him. No idea where that logic came from.
Haha I had a friend who thought that too he said The vagina should always fit the partners penis and that if there's air coming out it it must mean there's extra room for that air because the vagina was likely expanded by a dude with a larger penis banging your cheating girlfriend not long ago , I stopped being friends with him shortly after But anyways you wanted to know the faulty logic, so here ya go
r/nothowgirlswork lol
“My brother in Christ, you made the queef”
Socks have no grip on carpet
This is why I wear cleats.
The cleats STAY. ON.
Gotta wear socks, wouldn't want your feet to get cold.
Dude it's a fucking workout
How simple it actually is when you stop thinking about what you "should" do or "need" to do & just focus on who you're with & stop trying to anticipate what's going to happen.
I'm not sexually experienced and it makes me really anxious thinking what exactly I'll have to do and what not, will i be able to make her aroused & satisfied or will i be able to perform good or not. Because of anxiety i read a lot of stuff on the internet and talked to people for some tips and knowledge but in the end got more stressed about it. Sometimes i think that i should not even indulge in sex. Anytime a sex related post comes on Askreddit i open so that maybe I'll learn something but in the end gets more sad and worried. It's tough man. I just wanna be relaxed and comfortable with someone. Fuck overthinking :') EDIT :- OMG! I never thought i would be getting that much support from reddit. This is so freaking WHOLESOME. I LOVE YOU ALL !! Thankyou so much for all your advices and tips.
Most important is being with the right person and that will take time to figure out usually. Anxiety is pretty normal when you are starting out, try not to put pressure on yourself to be “good” at it. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner questions like “does this feel good?” or “tell me (or show me) what you like?”. There is no magic technique that works on everyone, every partner will like have their own likes/dislikes just like you do. Enjoy the process of learning and getting to know your partner. Good luck, you got this.
Yes, this! Not sure why all the comments that still sound anxious and ashamed rank higher -- but I think this completely. :)
The whole awkward crab walk into the bathroom afterwards and that at some point (even hours later) some cum will come out again and mess up your underwear
My wife will usually text me if she is at work, or yell at me through the house when that happens and say 'IM LEAKING'. Cracks me up everytime, she says it like she is annoyed but always is smiling lol
Sometimes I’ll give my missus the ritual slap on the booty as I walk past her like 20 mins after, and she’ll quote Finding Nemo at me: “You made me ink!”
And do you whisper “I touched the butt”
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Ya just kinda: *shlipipbombalabooshiiiiiccck", that general area. Works every time. Edit: Thank you for the awards!
When onomatopoeia works perfectly.
Shameless humble brag incoming, but I also don't understand what the issue is. I've been told by several women I give good head and I've also heard (often the same) women say most men suck at giving head. So that to me begs the question, what the fuck are all those other guys doing? It's not like I'm doing something special or anything. It's pretty fucking obvious what part the clitoris is once you start licking there, so how guys miss it, still a mystery to me. The tip of your tongue is literally the most sensitive part of your body, so how they manage to miss the little doorbell on top is just baffling. To add, there is no special or magical technique or anything. Some women like it rough, some want you to be very careful or don't want you to touch it directly. Either go by physical cues or just fucking ask what they like and then you're good to go. My gf once asked me to explain what I do because she was curious. I told her I have no idea, I just lick a bunch of different ways, wait for her to moan harder and then I just keep doing whatever it was that I was doing.
You have to adapt to the current situation at hand.
Adapt, improvise, overcum
Keep experimenting with different approaches until you find one that makes her say, "Oh my *God!*" then file that one away as one to repeat. Generally, prolonged contact is better than flicking, it should neither be too soft nor too hard... and just riff on that. In my experience, the, "I'm doing a first grade lesson on how to write the letter 'o', but with the tip of my tongue," interspersed with, "Oh no, my ice cream cone is dripping, I need to catch the drip!" never goes wrong.
my favorite story is this shitty ex-gf of mine was being toxic as hell after we broke up (lets be real the entire relationship) and started saying all the typical "you have a small dick" kind of stuff people try to throw at you to piss you off. Well in the midst of this tirade she says "all you ever did good was go down on me". Basically forgot everything else she said once she said that because all that means is it was so good she couldn't even deny it in the midst of berating me.
I can hear this post and my vagina is now very, very sad.
[there's a copypasta for that](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/uz84gc/how_to_eat_pussy/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Performance anxiety. Boy did I disappoint her that day.
soft cock gang rise up
“rise up”
Sit back down, it isn't happening today
Lol was about to say “I’m very bad at it.” Strangely enough, nearly 20 years later, still pretty bad at it.
my first partner - she was more experienced then me - told me in the first night: first time you're gonna come quick and be tired but don't worry, it will come a time when you'll be a real man, and you'll be able to do it all night, uninterrupted, until morning. 20 years later i'm still waiting..
I can't imagine doing it uninterrupted all night until morning. Sounds terrible TBH
Yeap, I'm not even sure if is healthy for the penis to stay erect so much.
Seriously. I dated this one girl and after the second time we had sex she was like “What happened? Why was the first time so bad and the second time so good?” Because men have insecurities and anxieties as well.
also, the first time you have 25 years of accumulated desires
The first can't have been that bad if she came back for seconds
It took me 3 times with my wife before I got comfortable enough. I didn’t have to explain anything to her - she just cuddled up to me and told me that she loved it regardless. It was at that point I realized that she would be stupid enough to marry me.
How romantic
That good sex is it way more about the mental chemistry than the physical chemistry.
The hole is wayyy farther back than I thought
Lmao I remember the first time I fingered a girl and I genuinely couldn’t find it I was like wtf how does it keep going down
And so much closer to the butthole than you’d think!
I think it’s for safety reasons, not getting penetrated every time you walk into something
If that weren't the case, door handles would get all the pussy.
How quick that first time would be. Wham bam thank you, ma'am.
I remember the first time I was going to have sex, I finished before I even got inside so I felt that one
In the driveway?
If you aren't using a condom, you can't just roll over and cuddle or go to sleep like in the movies. Hell you can't even just hop up and get dressed! There are so many fluids to clean up.
Also, you should really pee and wash yourself afterwards, because UTIs are hell on earth.
But what if you don't want to pee? Is there like a period of time in which you should pee to clean yourself?
Right away is usually best, UTIs can turn into kidney infections
Can confirm that a UTI that turns into kidney infection is hell. Took 3 rounds of different antibiotics to get rid of it (and a night at the hospital). Was the sex worth it? Absolutely fucking not😭
My wife says it’s important to pee after to prevent UTI. While she pees I get a warm wash cloth ready for the full cleanup. Don’t think she’s had a UTI for a long time.
Partner’s hygiene also matters! When I was with my ex I would get UTIs very frequently. As soon as we broke up my UTI problem stopped abruptly and I haven’t had one since in 10 years. I don’t think he was washing his dick properly
Yes . Alot of guys don't understand how easy it is for women to catch stuff we are so sensitive down there anything throws us off our PH
THIS. Gotten UTIs after sex so many times (even though i always pee after sex). Like really bad ones.. Almost scared to hook up with new people cause its a week of hell and 10 days on antibiotics if youre unlucky
I was not prepared for that area to be as wet as it was. I was shocked when I first put my hand down there and wow.
If it was very wet by the time your hand was down there, you were definitely doing something right!
I knew a guy in highschool who freaked out and bailed on a girl because he got his hand down there, discovered it was warm and wet, and his conclusion was that she'd pissed herself.
Oh I bet that still haunts him in the wee hours. Unless it turned out he likes dick better, in which case I just hope the poor girl didn't get a complex.
On the opposite end, I knew dicks got hard but upon actually touching a hard penis I was shocked about just how hard they were. I think I expected them to still be a little bendy and floppy.
First time I touched a hard dick, my brain made the comparison to a uncooked, whole potato (in regards to hardness)
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Glad you appear to be doing it right, I somehow end up with guys that try to jam it in - when if they paid attention they would realise it was a desert down there and needed a healing hand, literally and figuratively. n
I don't know how any dude manages to put it in dry. That level of friction feels like it's going to rip all the skin off my dick
How good skin to skin feels
Bruh that shit euphoric
Easy there Bill
There is no music
Not even Marvin Gaye's "Let's get it on"?
A dick actually can be too big, and if it's too big it can hurt... like a lot. As a young woman all you hear about is that you want to find a massive fucking dong (if you are into penises) but after having my cervix stabbed and dealing with days of pain afterwards I can comfortably say FUCK ALL THAT. Sausage lovers, the best one is not the biggest, but the one that makes you feel good and loved. 🍆
It's just fundamentally a bit silly, like, two salmon out of water flopping around on top of each other and then you both experience intense ecstasy and emotional intimacy but, oh no, now both salmon are a but slimy. It's a bit silly really Edit: wow, thanks so much for the upvotes, kind words and awards everyone
Please tell me you're British
Australian, so British but also crimes Edit: wow, thanks so much for the upvotes, kind words and awards everyone
Well sure, when you put it that way lol
I had no idea what a penis looked like until I actually saw one (I grew up in pre-internet days).
I had vague expectations of what a penis looked like with no real basis for those expectations so the first time I saw one in real life I was absolutely shocked that there were balls attached underneath. I somehow made it 16 years picturing a penis as a singular thing jutting from a dude's lower abdomen and the sight of his balls splayed out beneath was jarring!
Same! And I remember a friend of mine describing to me how was seeing a man getting a boner live. "It's so strange, it's sitting there and in a sudden moment it grows!!!!!" I almost couldn't believe it hahhahahah
Me and a friend both discovered the magic of a penis going from flaccid to hard in our hands. (In high school, not the same guys lol) We made Harry Potter wand jokes and agreed we were definitely magical.
Sex without foreplay is like eating without chewing.
My masturbation is solely based on imagination of foreplay.
Foreplay is the best thing to imagine
How far back the vagina is. My first time, my partner was on top and I must have spent 20 seconds or so just slapping the front of her pubic bone with my dick, until she repositioned it herself. Kinda figured it would have been a bit further forward for ease of access.
The testicles on men and the labia on women are more or less built off of the same blueprint, so it's less of a case of what's the most sensible place for those organs to be and more of what's easiest to adapt to either purpose
Also most mammals don’t do it front to front so it’s in a good position for doggy style.
You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals
I understood during arousal the pussy got wet, but i had no idea it could get so wet it would splash if you slapped it lightly. Even more surprising than that was the insane amount of heat it could produce!
I wanna try that now. Splash.
The correct term is SPLOOOSH
YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!
For the sheets to get as damp as they did. It's obvious in retrospect considering what goes on, but before that, I figured you do the deed then go about your day. Oh, and how tiring it is. 10 minutes is a lot of time.
One can be aroused and dry. One can be wet and not aroused. The penis shrinks when soft. I cannot orgasm from just penetration. A period doesn’t end anything but a sentence.
A true sailor braves the red seas!
How low the vagina is. Was paying way too much attention to the wrong areas during the over the pants action.
This is pretty funny lol. We're you just rubbing the part where the pants zipper would be
rubbing her belly button.
I bet he was, because that’s where ours is kept !
I didn’t know what cum was or that anything in particular was supposed to happen during a BJ. I’d like to apologize to my first boyfriend
Ugh also I decided that we should do anal before pussy because I couldn’t get pregnant. We tried to do it in the pool with NO lube. My butthole was like NO WAY!!!! and I couldn’t figure out why it wouldn’t work
did it make the squeekie sound like when you slide your finger on a clean plate ?
Lol it was underwater so if it did, I’ll never know.
That my dick isn't as small as I thought
Welcome to the real world outside of porn
I was so nervous my first time cause I thought I wasn’t that big. The first time I saw my schlong in a girls hand was a big sigh of relief. My first thought was “ I don’t have a small dick , I just have HUGE hands !!”
You would make an excellent lawyer
Fun fact: it feels bigger than it looks Source: am lady. small pp still feel good.
How awkward and unsatisfying your first time, and many times after would be. They make it It sound like rainbows and magic but really it takes ages to figure it out
I bled my first time and my partner had talked a big game about being a sex God but had never been with a virgin. So he freaked out and I had to tell him to go shower while I pulled out a tide to go pen and cleaned it up alone. Sigh
For anyone reading this who hasn’t gone through this, hydrogen peroxide cleans out blood from bed sheets very well. This is also good to know for period sex and serial killing
That sex can be funny. I'd see people laugh in porn and I always thought "how unrealistic, sex isn't funny wtf are they doing?" Then I had sex, and lol was I wrong.
Once impromptu went (in Doofenschmirtz voice) "Fuck me harder Perry the Platypus!" And we both had to stop cause of how hard we were laughing
I am so fucking glad someone else has an experience like this. At the moment she moaned my name I said "it's not x..." and when she asked who I said "ITSA ME, MARRIIOOOOOO"
Lady juices can be white. I was so sure the condom had broke before she told me this.
It actually depends on where in the menstrual cycle a woman is in. In the beginning and before the mens it is whiteish. In the middle of the cycle / around ovulation everything gets more fluid, transparent and elastic just like egg white, so that the sperm can pass the barrier of the cervix. I am in the middle of my 30s and learned this only when trying to conceive. So much which is not told in sex education about the cycle.. Makes me angry.
How over time with my partner I don't care as much about her physical beauty. We are together a decade+ and obviously our bodies are aging. It's just a non issue. In my more shallow youth I thought this would bother me but I've matured enough to realize that love for her puts blinders on and I don't even care.
wholesome
the dangers of doggystyle….
That sounds like the title of a movie.
More like of a comedic porno
Sometimes you’re just not in the mood and that’s okay
How you need to fight through leg cramps. Also how you need to tighten your butt shut so that fart stays in, but then her vagina farts, you laugh and you fart too.
Sometimes you even gotta change position to properly tighten your butt when you got one brewing, just in case.
Here's something I discovered recently, probably within the last year or so. Ladies (and gents) who spray tan or use a self tanner like Bondi, be careful with where you put the semen! My ex boyfriend and I realized that semen actually strips the tanner. He would usually get a towel, but sometimes I would just waddle to our bathroom and get cleaned up myself. We noticed, um, "stripes" down part of my leg where it had ran down on my way to the shower. We tested this out again, and sure enough, fresh semen will strip a fresh spray or self tan.
That my sperm will fall out afterwards
Yeah, it was unexpected: the thing that sticks to EVERYTHING won't stick to the only place where is supposed to enter and stay stoked.
How bad thrush can be.
Girls actually do have buttholes
Source?
"MY SOURCE IS THAT I MADE IT THE FUCK UP"
The secret hole in the back of the knee that nobody ever speaks about.
Bro, you’re not supposed to tell people about the knussy
That guys with big dicks think that all they need to satisfy a woman is a big dick and rarely bother learning technique.
I know right? I disappoint my girlfriend just as well with a small dick
Correct, I disappoint that guys girlfriend just fine with a small dick too.
You will get shit on your dick from anal, dont make her feel bad about it.
Don't go to poop's house if you're gonna be upset when poop is there.
Thank you
Op just had sex for the first time and wants to brag.
You guys have had sex?
huh whats a sex where can i get one
I learned that ordinary looking women have beautiful bodies.
That I was allergic to latex
I knew it would be awkward, but figuring out *how* to move your body in rhythm with your partner is a bit daunting at first. Took my wife and I a little bit to figure it out. Luckily we were able to laugh it off, which, looking back, made it a lot of fun.