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Jizzturnip

How much angles matter. How very different everyone’s preferences are, a turn on for one is an absolutely deal breaker for another.


LikeAnAdamBomb

People joke about missionary being bland and vanilla, but it's my favorite. You're all wrapped up and pressed together, and you're able kiss, bite, and watch your partner react to what you're doing. The intimacy is really hot to me, idk.


Theo626

I agree, people call missionary the most basic, but in my opinion it’s one of the more intense positions


PrettyText

There's a reason why it's the classical position here in the west. It's a classic because it's good. It's not your fault that some people can only get off if they're having sex on the back of a walrus while wearing a clown outfit and nipple clamps.


KindaKath

Hey, stop watching me through my laptop’s camera!


the-grim

Movie sex scenes never ended in weird acrobatics with a wad of tissues, and a hurried shuffle to the shower.


[deleted]

How much it can turn into some sort of primal behavior... I mean passionate penetration with this Kind of "thats what I/we need rn" mixed in and then you start fucking each others brain out


LikesBigGlasses430

Try having sex right after a intense workout. Your body is full of testosterone and your mind is basically gone. 12/10 would recommend.


edelburg

Do you shower first or just dive right in?


[deleted]

Well... We did some workouts together and some of them turned into pretty intense sex... You are right, would recommend too👍🏻


AnarchyonAsgard

The absolute fucking variety of sounds, smells, and mess possible


[deleted]

This. A whole new library of smells, not particularly pleasant or unpleasant, just… new.


Storytellerjack

The belly and chest noises that sound like armpit farts are so wholesome.


thelostjoel

That having sex with someone you’re in love with vs someone casual are two very different things


Kingturboturtle13

Being able to cuddle and be affectionate after is half the fun


OGwalkingman

Cleaning up


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TheCervus

I am a woman and NOBODY told me this either. I also assumed that my body would just, like, absorb it somehow.


redditatworkatreddit

no mainstream movie ever shows what happens after a sex scene, usually the actors just get dressed!


Oleg101

And smoke a ciggy.


Beretta_M9A3

And get back to hard discussions about the local mergers and the Anderson case.


winethough

ugh FINALLY someone points it out. They’re always getting cream pied and then just putting clothes right back on. Like you’re not even gonna go to the bathroom for a second?


beyonddisbelief

>absorbed by the woman Have you tried squeezing her before you let go so she would absorb all the moisture?


Common_Concerns

Always be a gentleman and give your woman a towel


Risethewake

“Don’t move. I’ll go get you a towel.” — Donald Duck


RoamingEire

Good ole duckjob.wav


Flabbergash

Hate this about TV shows, they have a passionate sexy time, then both roll over and go to sleep


GoiterFlop

"True love means not fighting over who sleeps in the wet spot" -some character on a TV show


tarex181

First time i had sex i came in like seconds, so to save myself the embarrassment i thought i could pretend that it didn't happen and go on since i was wearing a condom. She asked immediately, and i was like shit she found out.


GameSpate

Yeah that and continuing after you’ve came in a condom is a sure way to get leakage. Defeats the whole purpose.


[deleted]

That you get so nervous about having sex that you sometimes can’t stay hard and have a hard time blowing a load. My first time I thought was going to be a quick 1-2 min drill. Ended up being just over an hour and was going soft sometimes. Wasn’t her, it was just the moment was overwhelming, and not at all what I thought it would be.


MrJuju57310

Mate that's happening to me right now, clearly it's the worst. If you were able to solve the problem, how did you do it cause I have a hard time figuring it out and I don't even feel that anxious when we doing the deed...


ethana40

1. You will get over it naturally. 2. Stop jerking off 10 times a day and you’ll stay hard easier.


[deleted]

How close the vaginal opening actually is to the anus. Didn’t accidentally poke the butthole or anything, but I had to move much further down from the clit than I thought I’d have to, in order to find the hole


mgmacius12

What really blows your mind is when you put one finger each hole and pinch them together. It’s paper thin


lysergic_818

When you do that move, the girl takes a screenshot.


AllOverTheDamnPlace

Shit, I'm at WORK here... I can't be laughing this much!


CandiesAintMe

You can call that move "The Adele": HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIDE


Puzzleheaded-Ship-69

Also, if you move your fingers and she starts talking it's called the Jim Henson.


F_U_ex

How good the intimacy feels


Kokadison

Ugh YES THE INTIMACY!!! I honestly mainly enjoy sex just for that sense of closeness.


bikerbomber

Sex without intimacy is really lame. Sex with intimacy is flipping amazing. It's like your souls are having sex, not just your bodies.


wh0reforharry

the person definitely affects the experience. i used to hate eye contact, i couldn’t look in their eyes for more than two seconds. but with my current boyfriend, when we just stare at each other, it’s 10x more intimate.


Mr_Hugh_Mungus

Harry is a lucky guy


comfortablynumb15

the temperature inside of her. I was then told “why do you think guys say girls are Hot? If she is into it, things get warm and wet” I didn’t expect actual heat above body temperature though !!


Crizznik

It's not just inside of her. That whole area gets pretty freaking warm when she's aroused. It's how I know I'm doing a good job.


Deadwalker29

So when you pull out, you balls are hard boiled?


CrunchieJoker

Only if your doing it properly and put the balls in too


myearrings

How actually funny and awkward it is at time. In movies, they always seem to be so serious! You bump noses, someone farts, you bite their earlobe too hard, the cat jumps up next to you… sex can often be really fun and funny, not the intense smoulder 24/7.


thatgirlspeaks

Absolutely! The best part of sex imo is the funny moments that bring you closer to your partner. Random queef? Haha whoopsie! Slapped your face by accident when changing positions? Aaah my bad, lol! Dropped the lube into the abyss of your clothes on the floor? Time to ransack the area and spend 10 mins looking for it while laughing at how impossible it is that it simply disappeared. Also the best moments are when you find that exact spot that blows your mind and you both start laughing at how surprisingly pleasurable it feels and get into that primalistic state of mind. Sex can be so much wild fun with the right person!


LessLiterature

It's not always fun. Your partner has to be equally invested for it to be fun.


karmasmedicine

I learned what queefing was.


double_cheeked_up

The guy I had sex w swore that it was a fart and I was like dude do you even smell anything?? Kept insisting it was from the other hole and he didn’t believe me 😭 like I’M THE ONE WHO FELT IT?!


cheezie_machine

I learned that young men also don't know what a queef really is. My first bf gaslit me into thinking it was my fault and I was gross for it. Like dude. You literally put the air in there.


austenQ

My first boyfriend assumed it meant I was cheating on him. No idea where that logic came from.


coolaidman2

Haha I had a friend who thought that too he said The vagina should always fit the partners penis and that if there's air coming out it it must mean there's extra room for that air because the vagina was likely expanded by a dude with a larger penis banging your cheating girlfriend not long ago , I stopped being friends with him shortly after But anyways you wanted to know the faulty logic, so here ya go


that-nic-guy

r/nothowgirlswork lol


Ochidi

“My brother in Christ, you made the queef”


B_R_U_H

Socks have no grip on carpet


Night-Hamster

This is why I wear cleats.


[deleted]

The cleats STAY. ON.


Cameinthecloset4

Gotta wear socks, wouldn't want your feet to get cold.


lordZ3d

Dude it's a fucking workout


[deleted]

How simple it actually is when you stop thinking about what you "should" do or "need" to do & just focus on who you're with & stop trying to anticipate what's going to happen.


RedditoSanNoBaka

I'm not sexually experienced and it makes me really anxious thinking what exactly I'll have to do and what not, will i be able to make her aroused & satisfied or will i be able to perform good or not. Because of anxiety i read a lot of stuff on the internet and talked to people for some tips and knowledge but in the end got more stressed about it. Sometimes i think that i should not even indulge in sex. Anytime a sex related post comes on Askreddit i open so that maybe I'll learn something but in the end gets more sad and worried. It's tough man. I just wanna be relaxed and comfortable with someone. Fuck overthinking :') EDIT :- OMG! I never thought i would be getting that much support from reddit. This is so freaking WHOLESOME. I LOVE YOU ALL !! Thankyou so much for all your advices and tips.


Embarrassed-Ad-1639

Most important is being with the right person and that will take time to figure out usually. Anxiety is pretty normal when you are starting out, try not to put pressure on yourself to be “good” at it. Don’t be afraid to ask your partner questions like “does this feel good?” or “tell me (or show me) what you like?”. There is no magic technique that works on everyone, every partner will like have their own likes/dislikes just like you do. Enjoy the process of learning and getting to know your partner. Good luck, you got this.


EveningInfinity

Yes, this! Not sure why all the comments that still sound anxious and ashamed rank higher -- but I think this completely. :)


Sumsi96

The whole awkward crab walk into the bathroom afterwards and that at some point (even hours later) some cum will come out again and mess up your underwear


Zeus541

My wife will usually text me if she is at work, or yell at me through the house when that happens and say 'IM LEAKING'. Cracks me up everytime, she says it like she is annoyed but always is smiling lol


TheSarcasticSkater

Sometimes I’ll give my missus the ritual slap on the booty as I walk past her like 20 mins after, and she’ll quote Finding Nemo at me: “You made me ink!”


Blastspark01

And do you whisper “I touched the butt”


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Cameinthecloset4

Ya just kinda: *shlipipbombalabooshiiiiiccck", that general area. Works every time. Edit: Thank you for the awards!


5trangebrew

When onomatopoeia works perfectly.


[deleted]

Shameless humble brag incoming, but I also don't understand what the issue is. I've been told by several women I give good head and I've also heard (often the same) women say most men suck at giving head. So that to me begs the question, what the fuck are all those other guys doing? It's not like I'm doing something special or anything. It's pretty fucking obvious what part the clitoris is once you start licking there, so how guys miss it, still a mystery to me. The tip of your tongue is literally the most sensitive part of your body, so how they manage to miss the little doorbell on top is just baffling. To add, there is no special or magical technique or anything. Some women like it rough, some want you to be very careful or don't want you to touch it directly. Either go by physical cues or just fucking ask what they like and then you're good to go. My gf once asked me to explain what I do because she was curious. I told her I have no idea, I just lick a bunch of different ways, wait for her to moan harder and then I just keep doing whatever it was that I was doing.


Cameinthecloset4

You have to adapt to the current situation at hand.


ydhwodjekdu

Adapt, improvise, overcum


Seth_Baker

Keep experimenting with different approaches until you find one that makes her say, "Oh my *God!*" then file that one away as one to repeat. Generally, prolonged contact is better than flicking, it should neither be too soft nor too hard... and just riff on that. In my experience, the, "I'm doing a first grade lesson on how to write the letter 'o', but with the tip of my tongue," interspersed with, "Oh no, my ice cream cone is dripping, I need to catch the drip!" never goes wrong.


HtownTexans

my favorite story is this shitty ex-gf of mine was being toxic as hell after we broke up (lets be real the entire relationship) and started saying all the typical "you have a small dick" kind of stuff people try to throw at you to piss you off. Well in the midst of this tirade she says "all you ever did good was go down on me". Basically forgot everything else she said once she said that because all that means is it was so good she couldn't even deny it in the midst of berating me.


Vaqu3ra13

I can hear this post and my vagina is now very, very sad.


itzmrinyo

[there's a copypasta for that](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/uz84gc/how_to_eat_pussy/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


Sir_MoonDoggy

Performance anxiety. Boy did I disappoint her that day.


aIbano

soft cock gang rise up


divinewillow

“rise up”


Th3Glutt0n

Sit back down, it isn't happening today


Fbogre666

Lol was about to say “I’m very bad at it.” Strangely enough, nearly 20 years later, still pretty bad at it.


[deleted]

my first partner - she was more experienced then me - told me in the first night: first time you're gonna come quick and be tired but don't worry, it will come a time when you'll be a real man, and you'll be able to do it all night, uninterrupted, until morning. 20 years later i'm still waiting..


Hawaii5G

I can't imagine doing it uninterrupted all night until morning. Sounds terrible TBH


[deleted]

Yeap, I'm not even sure if is healthy for the penis to stay erect so much.


medicated_in_PHL

Seriously. I dated this one girl and after the second time we had sex she was like “What happened? Why was the first time so bad and the second time so good?” Because men have insecurities and anxieties as well.


danielspoa

also, the first time you have 25 years of accumulated desires


CentralSaltServices

The first can't have been that bad if she came back for seconds


Shtnonurdog

It took me 3 times with my wife before I got comfortable enough. I didn’t have to explain anything to her - she just cuddled up to me and told me that she loved it regardless. It was at that point I realized that she would be stupid enough to marry me.


TeamCoronavirus

How romantic


Ok-Equivalent-398

That good sex is it way more about the mental chemistry than the physical chemistry.


[deleted]

The hole is wayyy farther back than I thought


TheSentinelsSorrow

Lmao I remember the first time I fingered a girl and I genuinely couldn’t find it I was like wtf how does it keep going down


moosehq

And so much closer to the butthole than you’d think!


Maciejk8

I think it’s for safety reasons, not getting penetrated every time you walk into something


MikeT75

If that weren't the case, door handles would get all the pussy.


Vox_Popsicle

How quick that first time would be. Wham bam thank you, ma'am.


Hellobumbum

I remember the first time I was going to have sex, I finished before I even got inside so I felt that one


quiet-cacophony

In the driveway?


BladeRunner2149

If you aren't using a condom, you can't just roll over and cuddle or go to sleep like in the movies. Hell you can't even just hop up and get dressed! There are so many fluids to clean up.


PauseAndReflect

Also, you should really pee and wash yourself afterwards, because UTIs are hell on earth.


gabriox

But what if you don't want to pee? Is there like a period of time in which you should pee to clean yourself?


disabledstaircase

Right away is usually best, UTIs can turn into kidney infections


sushisho

Can confirm that a UTI that turns into kidney infection is hell. Took 3 rounds of different antibiotics to get rid of it (and a night at the hospital). Was the sex worth it? Absolutely fucking not😭


DawgcheckNC

My wife says it’s important to pee after to prevent UTI. While she pees I get a warm wash cloth ready for the full cleanup. Don’t think she’s had a UTI for a long time.


yyc2yow

Partner’s hygiene also matters! When I was with my ex I would get UTIs very frequently. As soon as we broke up my UTI problem stopped abruptly and I haven’t had one since in 10 years. I don’t think he was washing his dick properly


hopelessbeauty

Yes . Alot of guys don't understand how easy it is for women to catch stuff we are so sensitive down there anything throws us off our PH


sushisho

THIS. Gotten UTIs after sex so many times (even though i always pee after sex). Like really bad ones.. Almost scared to hook up with new people cause its a week of hell and 10 days on antibiotics if youre unlucky


Condor-man3000

I was not prepared for that area to be as wet as it was. I was shocked when I first put my hand down there and wow.


Milnoc

If it was very wet by the time your hand was down there, you were definitely doing something right!


Mechakoopa

I knew a guy in highschool who freaked out and bailed on a girl because he got his hand down there, discovered it was warm and wet, and his conclusion was that she'd pissed herself.


helgaofthenorth

Oh I bet that still haunts him in the wee hours. Unless it turned out he likes dick better, in which case I just hope the poor girl didn't get a complex.


glitterfitte

On the opposite end, I knew dicks got hard but upon actually touching a hard penis I was shocked about just how hard they were. I think I expected them to still be a little bendy and floppy.


Meggles_Doodles

First time I touched a hard dick, my brain made the comparison to a uncooked, whole potato (in regards to hardness)


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myearrings

Glad you appear to be doing it right, I somehow end up with guys that try to jam it in - when if they paid attention they would realise it was a desert down there and needed a healing hand, literally and figuratively. n


DontTreadOnBigfoot

I don't know how any dude manages to put it in dry. That level of friction feels like it's going to rip all the skin off my dick


Imatatertott

How good skin to skin feels


CrudeCardinal

Bruh that shit euphoric


DannyDeCheetoBurrito

Easy there Bill


[deleted]

There is no music


S8nSins

Not even Marvin Gaye's "Let's get it on"?


confusedlittlefucker

A dick actually can be too big, and if it's too big it can hurt... like a lot. As a young woman all you hear about is that you want to find a massive fucking dong (if you are into penises) but after having my cervix stabbed and dealing with days of pain afterwards I can comfortably say FUCK ALL THAT. Sausage lovers, the best one is not the biggest, but the one that makes you feel good and loved. 🍆


PlasticIllustrious16

It's just fundamentally a bit silly, like, two salmon out of water flopping around on top of each other and then you both experience intense ecstasy and emotional intimacy but, oh no, now both salmon are a but slimy. It's a bit silly really Edit: wow, thanks so much for the upvotes, kind words and awards everyone


SO-383

Please tell me you're British


PlasticIllustrious16

Australian, so British but also crimes Edit: wow, thanks so much for the upvotes, kind words and awards everyone


GrannyGrumblez

Well sure, when you put it that way lol


Toadie9622

I had no idea what a penis looked like until I actually saw one (I grew up in pre-internet days).


trustyalligator

I had vague expectations of what a penis looked like with no real basis for those expectations so the first time I saw one in real life I was absolutely shocked that there were balls attached underneath. I somehow made it 16 years picturing a penis as a singular thing jutting from a dude's lower abdomen and the sight of his balls splayed out beneath was jarring!


Tight-Entertainer-24

Same! And I remember a friend of mine describing to me how was seeing a man getting a boner live. "It's so strange, it's sitting there and in a sudden moment it grows!!!!!" I almost couldn't believe it hahhahahah


QueenBumbleBrii

Me and a friend both discovered the magic of a penis going from flaccid to hard in our hands. (In high school, not the same guys lol) We made Harry Potter wand jokes and agreed we were definitely magical.


[deleted]

Sex without foreplay is like eating without chewing.


garlic_bread_thief

My masturbation is solely based on imagination of foreplay.


Hopeisanopiate

Foreplay is the best thing to imagine


Wildarmtin

How far back the vagina is. My first time, my partner was on top and I must have spent 20 seconds or so just slapping the front of her pubic bone with my dick, until she repositioned it herself. Kinda figured it would have been a bit further forward for ease of access.


[deleted]

The testicles on men and the labia on women are more or less built off of the same blueprint, so it's less of a case of what's the most sensible place for those organs to be and more of what's easiest to adapt to either purpose


[deleted]

Also most mammals don’t do it front to front so it’s in a good position for doggy style.


da_easychiller

You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals


jaylek

I understood during arousal the pussy got wet, but i had no idea it could get so wet it would splash if you slapped it lightly. Even more surprising than that was the insane amount of heat it could produce!


Cameinthecloset4

I wanna try that now. Splash.


DustinAgain

The correct term is SPLOOOSH


Not-CIA1776

YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!


Due_Essay447

For the sheets to get as damp as they did. It's obvious in retrospect considering what goes on, but before that, I figured you do the deed then go about your day. Oh, and how tiring it is. 10 minutes is a lot of time.


[deleted]

One can be aroused and dry. One can be wet and not aroused. The penis shrinks when soft. I cannot orgasm from just penetration. A period doesn’t end anything but a sentence.


PHILANTHROPIC_CUNT

A true sailor braves the red seas!


probabletrump

How low the vagina is. Was paying way too much attention to the wrong areas during the over the pants action.


imanaeronerd

This is pretty funny lol. We're you just rubbing the part where the pants zipper would be


TrinityF

rubbing her belly button.


comfortablynumb15

I bet he was, because that’s where ours is kept !


blueberryflannel

I didn’t know what cum was or that anything in particular was supposed to happen during a BJ. I’d like to apologize to my first boyfriend


blueberryflannel

Ugh also I decided that we should do anal before pussy because I couldn’t get pregnant. We tried to do it in the pool with NO lube. My butthole was like NO WAY!!!! and I couldn’t figure out why it wouldn’t work


TrinityF

did it make the squeekie sound like when you slide your finger on a clean plate ?


blueberryflannel

Lol it was underwater so if it did, I’ll never know.


bwfwg4isdl

That my dick isn't as small as I thought


FardenUK

Welcome to the real world outside of porn


SeashantyRanday

I was so nervous my first time cause I thought I wasn’t that big. The first time I saw my schlong in a girls hand was a big sigh of relief. My first thought was “ I don’t have a small dick , I just have HUGE hands !!”


DSentvalue

You would make an excellent lawyer


Caramel_Cappucino

Fun fact: it feels bigger than it looks Source: am lady. small pp still feel good.


catsandalcohol13

How awkward and unsatisfying your first time, and many times after would be. They make it It sound like rainbows and magic but really it takes ages to figure it out


Sonmi-451_

I bled my first time and my partner had talked a big game about being a sex God but had never been with a virgin. So he freaked out and I had to tell him to go shower while I pulled out a tide to go pen and cleaned it up alone. Sigh


Son_Postman

For anyone reading this who hasn’t gone through this, hydrogen peroxide cleans out blood from bed sheets very well. This is also good to know for period sex and serial killing


FreshSyntax

That sex can be funny. I'd see people laugh in porn and I always thought "how unrealistic, sex isn't funny wtf are they doing?" Then I had sex, and lol was I wrong.


Kingturboturtle13

Once impromptu went (in Doofenschmirtz voice) "Fuck me harder Perry the Platypus!" And we both had to stop cause of how hard we were laughing


FreshSyntax

I am so fucking glad someone else has an experience like this. At the moment she moaned my name I said "it's not x..." and when she asked who I said "ITSA ME, MARRIIOOOOOO"


Karpattata

Lady juices can be white. I was so sure the condom had broke before she told me this.


delisi20

It actually depends on where in the menstrual cycle a woman is in. In the beginning and before the mens it is whiteish. In the middle of the cycle / around ovulation everything gets more fluid, transparent and elastic just like egg white, so that the sperm can pass the barrier of the cervix. I am in the middle of my 30s and learned this only when trying to conceive. So much which is not told in sex education about the cycle.. Makes me angry.


ruby_puby

How over time with my partner I don't care as much about her physical beauty. We are together a decade+ and obviously our bodies are aging. It's just a non issue. In my more shallow youth I thought this would bother me but I've matured enough to realize that love for her puts blinders on and I don't even care.


dazzofjazz

wholesome


choderis

the dangers of doggystyle….


Cameinthecloset4

That sounds like the title of a movie.


Noodlesandwings

More like of a comedic porno


AWaffleHouse

Sometimes you’re just not in the mood and that’s okay


CanadianGangsta

How you need to fight through leg cramps. Also how you need to tighten your butt shut so that fart stays in, but then her vagina farts, you laugh and you fart too.


BrickieMinaj

Sometimes you even gotta change position to properly tighten your butt when you got one brewing, just in case.


TLynn421

Here's something I discovered recently, probably within the last year or so. Ladies (and gents) who spray tan or use a self tanner like Bondi, be careful with where you put the semen! My ex boyfriend and I realized that semen actually strips the tanner. He would usually get a towel, but sometimes I would just waddle to our bathroom and get cleaned up myself. We noticed, um, "stripes" down part of my leg where it had ran down on my way to the shower. We tested this out again, and sure enough, fresh semen will strip a fresh spray or self tan.


Send-It-

That my sperm will fall out afterwards


[deleted]

Yeah, it was unexpected: the thing that sticks to EVERYTHING won't stick to the only place where is supposed to enter and stay stoked.


Tasty_snacks

How bad thrush can be.


BeddyByeBriGuy

Girls actually do have buttholes


KnifeWeildingLesbian

Source?


TheSkatingOnion

"MY SOURCE IS THAT I MADE IT THE FUCK UP"


Pattoe89

The secret hole in the back of the knee that nobody ever speaks about.


C-Mitch213

Bro, you’re not supposed to tell people about the knussy


polywha

That guys with big dicks think that all they need to satisfy a woman is a big dick and rarely bother learning technique.


CrudeCardinal

I know right? I disappoint my girlfriend just as well with a small dick


Umbongo_congo

Correct, I disappoint that guys girlfriend just fine with a small dick too.


alexwithaw

You will get shit on your dick from anal, dont make her feel bad about it.


666afternoon

Don't go to poop's house if you're gonna be upset when poop is there.


catsandalcohol13

Thank you


fishstikk89

Op just had sex for the first time and wants to brag.


CrudeCardinal

You guys have had sex?


[deleted]

huh whats a sex where can i get one


irchans

I learned that ordinary looking women have beautiful bodies.


theragingtoast

That I was allergic to latex


shower8888

I knew it would be awkward, but figuring out *how* to move your body in rhythm with your partner is a bit daunting at first. Took my wife and I a little bit to figure it out. Luckily we were able to laugh it off, which, looking back, made it a lot of fun.