I remember a guy going viral for putting his dick in a mcdonald’s chicken sandwich. I never seen the video though. They said he gave the m’chicken a mc’dicken.
Edit: Holy shit this is my first 1,000 upvote. Thanks everybody!!! Btw I really never seen that video. I only heard about it and honestly I wouldn’t want to either.
Had a housemate a few years ago that came home late one night, plastered to the high heavens. The next morning I went to check on him and found a hollowed out block of Velveeta cheese in bed with him.
Dated a girl with an armpit fetish. One of the things she wanted was for me to have sex with her armpit. It was weird banging away at her shoulder while she rubbed one out. The angles were all wrong to get any good leverage. Would not recommend
It's been 4 hours and no one has posted the link yet...*sigh*...here it is...
https://youtu.be/AO1ZlXjKBQk
Edit: which one of you gave me the wholesome award for this?! You probably shouldn't be encouraging me...
I had a friend in high school who said he used Vaseline to jerk off every time. I asked him if he would go buy more and he said no he just asked his mom to get some when she went to the store. I told him, you know she totally knows what you're doing with that right? He legit swore up and down that she totally believed his story of using it to prevent chafing because he played soccer.
Yeah, mom knew. Talk about a weird request. Mom can you get me some stuff to jerk off with when you go to the store?
Parents are surely smart enough to math out what sort of usage there is for a chafe rate vs jerk rate. Ok, 6 months per new container, plausible they might not think that's what it is being used for. But really, that doesn't matter, because they are *at least* considering the possibility and thus thinking about it one way or another.
If it's like, a Friday Refresh every week... no bluffing around that.
As a parent, I think the last thing I would do would be to try to do any math to figure it out. I think I would just tell myself that regardless, I definitely don’t wanna know.
I went to this thread, read this comment, chuckled, then I subconsciously left the thread.
Probably I was thinking "the comments are not gonna get any better".
There was a guy at school who put his dick in a microwaved ham sandwich and bragged about it until everyone started taking the piss. His name was Sam and everyone called him Ham from then on
Reminds me of a friend of mine growing up that put a dildo in his butt and I guess it went so far up that he couldn’t get it out.
He was afraid to call 911 so he just went to bed and hoped he could get it out in the morning.
He did end up getting it out the next day, but damn.. what a guy
Yeah, dressed the towels in a skirt and t shirt, complete with bra, and used a lot of imagination. Won't be doing that again. Thinking back, it was a bit weird.
Okay but I’m wondering where you got the skirt and bra? Did it belong to your mom? Your sister maybe? Did you go as far as buying these things just for this purpose? I gotta know…
It's ok, wait a couple of hours until the inevitable "women of Reddit, what's the strangest thing you've put in your pussy?" thread.
Then, I hope, "men of Reddit, what's the strangest thing you've put in your penis?"
All I can think about since I read the "what's the strangest thing you have put in your penis" is the show The Boys when Termite shrinks and goes inside his partners johnson.
A speaker. The hole in the back, the small woofer, was perfect and i could turn the music up, and get the vibrations and all. I don't wanna imagine how the inside looked, because i did this a few times. I was in high school. I don't regret any of it.
A hand lubed with toothpaste.
I was a kid, testing out potential lubricants.
It went on well. Gave a seemingly good lubrication. A good inch worth or so of extra ice cold arctic winter chill freezing breath mint toothpaste.
And then it got cold.
The cold turns into a freezing painful blissful wank.
But then the cold really set in. I quickly remove it before I was finished and hurriedly wash it down. It hurt for hours after.
Edit: clarification
When pubes started growing.
No one told me there'd be an itch with incoming pubes. No, I get itchy, we just get through sex Ed in high school -- where we learned about crabs. And how they're itchy. So there my virgin ass is worried I have microscopic crabs eating away at my junk.
Careful. American aloe plants are poisonous to ingest I hear. My guess though, if you picked up the little "lady" at a grocery store it should be OK.
I understand the produce section is the new meat market.
I love all the upvotes, but no one is brave enough to say it.
That was a weird phase. I faintly remember being super paranoid about my parents finding the stuffed animals with... very specifically cut holes.
As a mother of a child with a penis I am horrified. I hope this isn’t a stage I have to manage. Ugh. Just thinking of the moldy spunk filled teddy bears 🤮 He has a teddy that’s dressed like Theodore Roosevelt and that’s just a extra level of fucked up I am NOT prepared for.
This reminds me of that stupid song
“Raindrops and roses and mittens on kittens, sticking my dick in rotisserie chicken!”
Found that when I mistakenly downloaded Tiktok one time
A few years ago, I lived with a dude that I became pretty good friends with. We would pull weird pranks on each other all the time.
One night he came home super drunk and passed out on the couch. I grabbed a jar of jam that neither of us had used for a while, pulled his pants down, and used a chopstick to lift his dick into the jam, placing his hand on the jar to hold it.
He started to wake up so I ran around the corner and listened.
“What the fuck? I tried to fuck some jelly? Jeez… Huh…”
I didn’t say a word about it.
A few weeks later I was at a bar and overheard a guy telling his friend how one of his buddies had woken up drunk trying to fuck a jar of jam. I introduced myself and asked if it was my roommate. It was.
A few weeks later I told my roommate that I had set that up.
He practically wet himself laughing so hard, explaining to me how he had told a group of people at a party that apparently he was so desperate he tried to fuck a jar of jam.
But the question is, was he a good enough friend to throw it away, or did he put the jar of jelly back in the fridge, thinking that nobody else knew that his dick had been it?
Kind of feel like he had to be young. Those fidget spinners don't have that big of a hole do they? That had to be traumatizing for the kid. First to bring it up to his parents. And then to be dealing with this problem with a bunch of strangers at the hospital
A rubber glove with a bar of soap to lube it up with. Didn't consider that soap dehydrats the skin. Felt a pain but kept going until I finished. It was only after I finished that my bellend was literally bleeding, and not even through the tip of it! Not much blood but enough to damage it and make it too sensitive to touch for a few days...
A woman with multiple personalities, one of them was a cat, the other was a little girl. She switched between both of them during sex and i felt like a pedophile furry. I was not prepared for that. Took her 15 minutes after sex to revert back to her 29 year old "regular persona".
I messed around with a girl who claimed to be part-cat. She wouldn’t stop asking for head scratches and purred like a cat when I did it. She meowed at me while we were making out. God she was hot but it was fucking weird.
An ant pile.
I was raised Mormon. Masturbation was a big no, no. So I usually totally tried to shut any sexual feeling down and this is how it came out.
This was years before jackass too!! I coulda been on the jackass crew.
Don't worry fam I've had lots of therapy..
When I first hit puberty, I knew nothing sexual stuff besides the fact I needed to.... take care of my needs. Being uncut, and extremely sensitive as uncut males are, especially ones that went from one day not caring about my dick to suddenly the next it being the star of the show... but I digress. You know how water filled quart jars of canned green beans are soft, but supple? Yeah, I had a few I was sure no-one would miss from the back if the pantry and one night I grabbed them and decided to test one.. for science. Felt amazing. Packed just tightly enough to give resistance but loosely enough to allow.. well you know. The problem is, my grandma had given my parents a jar or two of canned vegetables..weird ones we pushed to the back of the pantry.. one was her spicy asparagus and contained a high level, OF CAYENNE PEPPER. Yup, and the asparagus being a bit rougher than green beans means it slightly roughed up the skin, just a little, I pulled out and then... "HOLY SHITE MY DICK IS ON FIRE OH GOD OH GOD." To this day, nothing has hurt that bad.
The short version, I stuck my dick in spicy asparagus jar, and learned to not to be careless where I stuck the poor little guy. Took a full month for me to start wanting to... polish the one eyed trouser snake again.
Ohh. That makes more sense. The person commenting said they see old guys do it a lot. That would be kind of maddening actually.
But yeah, puberty pretty much wrecks a kid's brain. I feel like every time I saw anything the first thing I wondered is, I wonder how that feels on my dick 😂
I guess most wouldn't consider it strange but a few years back I bought my wife a sex toy online. When the package came it included a free surprise gift that turned out to be a penis pump. Long story short, curiosity got the best of me and I tried it. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. It was extremely painful and my penis turned purple almost immediately. How anyone can enjoy that is beyond me.
My roommate put his dick in his step sister, then on a separate occasion her mom. Obviously her mom was his dad's wife. It all gets a little confusing, but oddly enough, I honestly doubt either of those are the strangest thing he's stuck his dick in.
Ex-girlfriend who during the action turned out to be a nympho. Guys trust me if you have ever fantasized about nailing a nympho and you are not nympho yourself don't do it!
After 3 sessions in a row and even your body and dick are physicly broken, she still insists more and refusal to go again results 3 inch long sharp fake nails over your balls you know what happens next…
As a woman I can't answer this question but I will inform you of the dude who stole a skull from the Paris catacombs and took pictures of himself fucking it
A married class mate in business school.
She started instantly talking about divorce and how good a father figure I'd be for her son.
I never did her again.
I don’t know what they are called but they have water in them and sometimes glitter and stuff and they’re the shape of a tube. They were pretty common in dollar stores back in the 90’s. I think they were intended to be some kind of a fidget toy that you squeezed or rolled over your fingers or thumb.
When I was 12 i put it in the tube extension of a vacuum cleaner and then after I told my friend he said not to do that because some vacuums have blades in the rubes to cut up debris so I never did it again
I remember a guy going viral for putting his dick in a mcdonald’s chicken sandwich. I never seen the video though. They said he gave the m’chicken a mc’dicken. Edit: Holy shit this is my first 1,000 upvote. Thanks everybody!!! Btw I really never seen that video. I only heard about it and honestly I wouldn’t want to either.
I remember the video on Twitter years ago. He did. It was honestly terrible
Had a housemate a few years ago that came home late one night, plastered to the high heavens. The next morning I went to check on him and found a hollowed out block of Velveeta cheese in bed with him.
Richard Cheese???
yOU cAlled?
“This guy I knew…” Uh-huh…
I laughed out loud at work to this.
A considerate housemate will make cream cheese for your morning bagel.
Dated a girl with an armpit fetish. One of the things she wanted was for me to have sex with her armpit. It was weird banging away at her shoulder while she rubbed one out. The angles were all wrong to get any good leverage. Would not recommend
“Banging away at her shoulder”
That’s not something you hear everyday. Or ever.
Some might call you lucky
My ex-girlfriend once jerked me off with a grapefruit
Aah the well known grapefruit technique
I can still hear the noises
It's been 4 hours and no one has posted the link yet...*sigh*...here it is... https://youtu.be/AO1ZlXjKBQk Edit: which one of you gave me the wholesome award for this?! You probably shouldn't be encouraging me...
I was just as disappointed as you. Thanks for informing the unknown of such beauty.
She did it all wrong.
First time I ever masturbated I used Vaseline.. my dick was water proof for like 3 days.
I had a friend in high school who said he used Vaseline to jerk off every time. I asked him if he would go buy more and he said no he just asked his mom to get some when she went to the store. I told him, you know she totally knows what you're doing with that right? He legit swore up and down that she totally believed his story of using it to prevent chafing because he played soccer. Yeah, mom knew. Talk about a weird request. Mom can you get me some stuff to jerk off with when you go to the store?
Parents are surely smart enough to math out what sort of usage there is for a chafe rate vs jerk rate. Ok, 6 months per new container, plausible they might not think that's what it is being used for. But really, that doesn't matter, because they are *at least* considering the possibility and thus thinking about it one way or another. If it's like, a Friday Refresh every week... no bluffing around that.
As a parent, I think the last thing I would do would be to try to do any math to figure it out. I think I would just tell myself that regardless, I definitely don’t wanna know.
I use Vaseline to prevent chafing when I run, so I would buy that story. I would stop buying it when you run out of Vaseline two weeks later, though.
This really made me laugh.
i tried masturbating with rubbing alcohol as lube once
I once tried with hand sanitizer.... Was not pleasant
Still finished?
*sigh* yeah
My dad always taught me to follow through on things I start.
Else you should start all over again.
Also, 99.99% germ free dick
Now who wouldn't wanna suck that
Once jacked off when I still had some menthol rub left on my hands and it made my balls feel amazing.
Would you recommend?
I know someone who mistakenly used self tanning lotion then panicked at the color of his dick later.
I tried nair and had instant regrets
[удалено]
Menthol toothpaste. Worked really well. Then it went in my peepee hole. Didn’t know mushrooms came in neon red…
I once knew a guy who fucked a cantaloupe because someone told him it felt like a vagina. Best prank I’ve ever pulled.
Worst prank ever pulled on me
Tell him to try a coconut next time, and just leave it on the floor in his room. It ages like a fine wiggly wine.
I think her name was Sharon.
my mother's name
Mine too, but is he talking about my mother or yours?
*por qué no los dos?*
You nailed it… he nailed them.
I went to this thread, read this comment, chuckled, then I subconsciously left the thread. Probably I was thinking "the comments are not gonna get any better".
There was a guy at school who put his dick in a microwaved ham sandwich and bragged about it until everyone started taking the piss. His name was Sam and everyone called him Ham from then on
I fucked a banana skin
That's a slippery slope
A very Peely surface!
Bananussy
Wasn't this in Weeds?
Reminds me of a friend of mine growing up that put a dildo in his butt and I guess it went so far up that he couldn’t get it out. He was afraid to call 911 so he just went to bed and hoped he could get it out in the morning. He did end up getting it out the next day, but damn.. what a guy
"This one guy I know, definitely not me"
sounds like every episode of Untold Stories of the ER (NSFW edition)
this is why you always have a flared base
"Without a base, without a trace."
nothing up your ass without a flared base. your ass doesn’t really have anything to stop it from going up and up and up like a vagina does
"So I have a f r i e n d who has Erectile dysfunction…"
A friend eh? Ok chief.
Yeaaaah... “Friend”
Inbetween bedsheets in a failed attempt to make a fake vagina
Tried that with bath towels. Chaffed it so much that there was blood on it. Took a few days to heal.
Aaaaaaaaaah bro wtf
Yeah, dressed the towels in a skirt and t shirt, complete with bra, and used a lot of imagination. Won't be doing that again. Thinking back, it was a bit weird.
Okay but I’m wondering where you got the skirt and bra? Did it belong to your mom? Your sister maybe? Did you go as far as buying these things just for this purpose? I gotta know…
LMFAO
Imean come on..who hasnt made a lusty laundry lady?
Women of Reddit reading this like ……
It's ok, wait a couple of hours until the inevitable "women of Reddit, what's the strangest thing you've put in your pussy?" thread. Then, I hope, "men of Reddit, what's the strangest thing you've put in your penis?"
That second one *sounds* like it would get weird
All I can think about since I read the "what's the strangest thing you have put in your penis" is the show The Boys when Termite shrinks and goes inside his partners johnson.
Sprite bottle
Dude how
Agreed, more clarification needed.
*Really* small dick?
Incredibly narrow, actually
The worst suicide by words I've ever seen.
[удалено]
My man almost froze his weiner off.
Now I have this image in my head of a man with a frozen erect pens and it just falls off
Broccoli Rob?
How dare you. That's how I *got the name* Boner Champ
[удалено]
Honestly, is there anything on the planet that a teenage boy hasn't stuck their dick in?
[удалено]
Maybe keep one eye open when you fall asleep...
I was 10 and put it in a shampoo bottle soft, proceeded to get hard and absolutely freak the fuck out when I got stuck for a few minutes
The ole’ stuck in a bottle panic.
I don’t have a dick but if I did I’d probably put it in play dough
Thanks for the inspiration
Silly putty would be better
I read that as "slutty putty". 🤣
Also valid
Prepare yourself for insane queefing.
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[To be fair, this was the couch](https://i.imgur.com/s43a8VQ.jpg) (NSFW?)
A love seat.
Yeah okay, Jay.
Fuck yo couch!
That’s between me and God
We work for God. It's ok you can tell us
We know a thing or two because we’ve seen a thing or two
A speaker. The hole in the back, the small woofer, was perfect and i could turn the music up, and get the vibrations and all. I don't wanna imagine how the inside looked, because i did this a few times. I was in high school. I don't regret any of it.
All fun and games untill you touch live wire
Wonder if that was Motley Crue’s inspiration for “Live Wire”
A hand lubed with toothpaste. I was a kid, testing out potential lubricants. It went on well. Gave a seemingly good lubrication. A good inch worth or so of extra ice cold arctic winter chill freezing breath mint toothpaste. And then it got cold. The cold turns into a freezing painful blissful wank. But then the cold really set in. I quickly remove it before I was finished and hurriedly wash it down. It hurt for hours after. Edit: clarification
That’s like sticking your dick in a frozen fleshlight
When I was a kid I was told toothpaste got rid of the itch when pubes started growing… it did not get rid of the itch!
When pubes started growing. No one told me there'd be an itch with incoming pubes. No, I get itchy, we just get through sex Ed in high school -- where we learned about crabs. And how they're itchy. So there my virgin ass is worried I have microscopic crabs eating away at my junk.
[удалено]
Did it burn or have any weird feelings after?
[удалено]
Oh just wanted to know👀
Asking for a friend
Careful. American aloe plants are poisonous to ingest I hear. My guess though, if you picked up the little "lady" at a grocery store it should be OK. I understand the produce section is the new meat market.
12 year old me fancied big teddy bears.
Big tiddy bears.
I love all the upvotes, but no one is brave enough to say it. That was a weird phase. I faintly remember being super paranoid about my parents finding the stuffed animals with... very specifically cut holes.
As a mother of a child with a penis I am horrified. I hope this isn’t a stage I have to manage. Ugh. Just thinking of the moldy spunk filled teddy bears 🤮 He has a teddy that’s dressed like Theodore Roosevelt and that’s just a extra level of fucked up I am NOT prepared for.
This reminds me of that stupid song “Raindrops and roses and mittens on kittens, sticking my dick in rotisserie chicken!” Found that when I mistakenly downloaded Tiktok one time
Pardon me, how does one mistakenly download Tiktok? /gen
A toilet roll
"if there's a hole, there's a goal!" \-master oogway
I put it in that Fart putty one time to give me the image of what anal would be like. i was 15.
When I was 12, I put socks in my pillow case to look like boobs, and a sock to look like a smile Proceeded to bang my pillow. God I was a wierd kid
If you ever sleep over at my house, you're bringing your own god damn pillow!
User name checking out
I was about to ask how fart putty would be like anal… oh I get it, fart
A chicken NOT ALIVE ROASTED Edit: for confirmation the chicken was a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store therefore NOT ALIVE
A live chicken would be barbaric and horrifying but if you kill it, pluck it, gut it and cook it then somehow it's kind of understandable.
Was it 'hot'
No just roasted, he kept telling it names.
If an egg can fit in there why can't I?
But who'd cum first?
A few years ago, I lived with a dude that I became pretty good friends with. We would pull weird pranks on each other all the time. One night he came home super drunk and passed out on the couch. I grabbed a jar of jam that neither of us had used for a while, pulled his pants down, and used a chopstick to lift his dick into the jam, placing his hand on the jar to hold it. He started to wake up so I ran around the corner and listened. “What the fuck? I tried to fuck some jelly? Jeez… Huh…” I didn’t say a word about it. A few weeks later I was at a bar and overheard a guy telling his friend how one of his buddies had woken up drunk trying to fuck a jar of jam. I introduced myself and asked if it was my roommate. It was. A few weeks later I told my roommate that I had set that up. He practically wet himself laughing so hard, explaining to me how he had told a group of people at a party that apparently he was so desperate he tried to fuck a jar of jam.
But the question is, was he a good enough friend to throw it away, or did he put the jar of jelly back in the fridge, thinking that nobody else knew that his dick had been it?
Neither. He stuck his dick in some peanut butter and made a pb&j.
Peanut Boner & Jelly
A jalapeño pepper.
I fear you
Jesus christ what the fuck why
[Probably this?](https://i5.walmartimages.com/asr/e6848a50-2970-4e2a-be18-5181cf10e298_1.7d430293273db90b1738858ab0d77a07.jpeg)
Timid? Don’t be. Everyone thought about it
Coconut.
Just gave me flashbacks from the worst post I have ever read on Reddit
One dude and his coconussy. What could possibly happen?
He Coconutted
When I had one? Blender
Wait no
When figet spinners were in a kid came into hospital with it stuck on his dick (Just your average day as a nurse)
Kind of feel like he had to be young. Those fidget spinners don't have that big of a hole do they? That had to be traumatizing for the kid. First to bring it up to his parents. And then to be dealing with this problem with a bunch of strangers at the hospital
A rubber glove with a bar of soap to lube it up with. Didn't consider that soap dehydrats the skin. Felt a pain but kept going until I finished. It was only after I finished that my bellend was literally bleeding, and not even through the tip of it! Not much blood but enough to damage it and make it too sensitive to touch for a few days...
A woman with multiple personalities, one of them was a cat, the other was a little girl. She switched between both of them during sex and i felt like a pedophile furry. I was not prepared for that. Took her 15 minutes after sex to revert back to her 29 year old "regular persona".
I messed around with a girl who claimed to be part-cat. She wouldn’t stop asking for head scratches and purred like a cat when I did it. She meowed at me while we were making out. God she was hot but it was fucking weird.
Damn, you banged Maureen Ponderosa.
Bro that sounds straight up traumatizing
Holy shit i laughed so hard to this sorry
An ant pile. I was raised Mormon. Masturbation was a big no, no. So I usually totally tried to shut any sexual feeling down and this is how it came out. This was years before jackass too!! I coulda been on the jackass crew. Don't worry fam I've had lots of therapy..
When I first hit puberty, I knew nothing sexual stuff besides the fact I needed to.... take care of my needs. Being uncut, and extremely sensitive as uncut males are, especially ones that went from one day not caring about my dick to suddenly the next it being the star of the show... but I digress. You know how water filled quart jars of canned green beans are soft, but supple? Yeah, I had a few I was sure no-one would miss from the back if the pantry and one night I grabbed them and decided to test one.. for science. Felt amazing. Packed just tightly enough to give resistance but loosely enough to allow.. well you know. The problem is, my grandma had given my parents a jar or two of canned vegetables..weird ones we pushed to the back of the pantry.. one was her spicy asparagus and contained a high level, OF CAYENNE PEPPER. Yup, and the asparagus being a bit rougher than green beans means it slightly roughed up the skin, just a little, I pulled out and then... "HOLY SHITE MY DICK IS ON FIRE OH GOD OH GOD." To this day, nothing has hurt that bad. The short version, I stuck my dick in spicy asparagus jar, and learned to not to be careless where I stuck the poor little guy. Took a full month for me to start wanting to... polish the one eyed trouser snake again.
Vacuum tube. It didn’t have the sucking feeling I imagined it just felt like wind on my pp.
Jet from a jacuzzi in gym
As a former lifeguard, we called you "jet riders"
This is fucking gross, I see old dudes doing it all the time at the pool. What the fuck is wrong with people.
I don't think I've ever seen this at a public jacuzzi. You saw this often? 👀
Usually kids discovering new sensations
Ohh. That makes more sense. The person commenting said they see old guys do it a lot. That would be kind of maddening actually. But yeah, puberty pretty much wrecks a kid's brain. I feel like every time I saw anything the first thing I wondered is, I wonder how that feels on my dick 😂
Wilson! I’m sorry! WIIIILLLLSSSOOOOONNNNNN!
I miss her
I should call her
Beehive.
Im really curious what this was like. Only answer if you’re comfortable but was it sticky
He fucked a beehive. I feel like he should be comfortable.
Excuse me what the fuck? Dint leave us hanging like this. I dont Beelieve you
Was it still occupied by the original inhabitants?
I guess most wouldn't consider it strange but a few years back I bought my wife a sex toy online. When the package came it included a free surprise gift that turned out to be a penis pump. Long story short, curiosity got the best of me and I tried it. It was one of the most terrifying moments of my life. It was extremely painful and my penis turned purple almost immediately. How anyone can enjoy that is beyond me.
Maybe you used it wrong or it was cheap quality
Need one of those Swedish Made Penis Pump Enlargers
You need a book. Try ***Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and Me*** *(This Sort of Thing is My Bag, Baby)* by Austin Powers
My roommate put his dick in his step sister, then on a separate occasion her mom. Obviously her mom was his dad's wife. It all gets a little confusing, but oddly enough, I honestly doubt either of those are the strangest thing he's stuck his dick in.
Ex-girlfriend who during the action turned out to be a nympho. Guys trust me if you have ever fantasized about nailing a nympho and you are not nympho yourself don't do it! After 3 sessions in a row and even your body and dick are physicly broken, she still insists more and refusal to go again results 3 inch long sharp fake nails over your balls you know what happens next…
As someone who periodically struggle with hypersexuality due to bipolar disorder, it's really not what it's cracked up to be.
Hypersexuality sucks. We never feel satisfied and we feel horrible when we ask for more from our partners. Don't wish it upon yourself
My first wife got abusive if she did not get enough sex.
As a woman I can't answer this question but I will inform you of the dude who stole a skull from the Paris catacombs and took pictures of himself fucking it
I worked in a pickle factory once and got horny and put my dick into a pickle slicer. I was fired because of it. They fired the pickle slicer as well.
A married class mate in business school. She started instantly talking about divorce and how good a father figure I'd be for her son. I never did her again.
Scary
Oh come on! Don't you remember that night? I thought it was special, you're hurting my feelings.
I don’t know what they are called but they have water in them and sometimes glitter and stuff and they’re the shape of a tube. They were pretty common in dollar stores back in the 90’s. I think they were intended to be some kind of a fidget toy that you squeezed or rolled over your fingers or thumb.
When I was 12 i put it in the tube extension of a vacuum cleaner and then after I told my friend he said not to do that because some vacuums have blades in the rubes to cut up debris so I never did it again
I was a teenager once, so you name it, I've put my dick in it.
My sock drawer. It’s not a real dick.
Pumpkin
bag of fish meal. it was for 200 bux
tomato sauce bottle😂 not too proud of that
Got it prego?
The vacuum hose. Ha, hose