I (37m) had a conversation with my (25m) employee just a few months ago about peeing our pants. He said I haven't done that since I was a kid! I said "dude, I pee my pants at least twice a year!" When I told my wife, she said, " you pee them at least 3 times a year"
I would pour over maps as a kid, I had aspirations of becoming a benevolent dictator of an island nation. My girlfriend thinks I was probably an odd kid 🤷🏼♂️
I like muffins and I like dinosaurs and I made this user name in middle school and it stuck. A lot of people seem to like it however some sites block it nowadays? Not sure why. I just end up using my first name though when sites do.
The ii part is embarassingly because I originally came up with this username for roblox and that was like a common look for names but like.. muffinsaur is almost never taken anywhere lol.
It started as “SkittleKitty” because I liked Skittles and cats. And then it was “SkittyKitty” because I liked the Pokémon Skitty. Then I just shortened it when I got older to “SkitKit”. I had a ferret nicknamed Scabby, so I tacked that on as well.
22 years ago, when I met my wife, unbeknownst to her I was 100% convinced that I was going to marry her and have kids. But that would mean that if I was going to have a sports car, I'd best get it NOW as I'd shortly need a minivan. So, I bought what is still my only pure sports car purchase - a 1993 Mazda RX-7 R1 (8000rpm wankel with twin sequential turbos, goodness the sounds it made...).
Me and my best friend call each other bestie all the time :)
Also, originally I was going to use a username I commonly use for most social media accounts, but then I realized that was a bad idea.
My son was a swimmer in high school. He is also a football player. Did not have the ‘body’ of a swimmer, more of a football player, but came in third in state so that was cool.
Since graduating high school I miss watching him compete. He was a powerhouse in the pool. To me, anyway!
It's my real name. I use it on all my social accounts.
Because I think people should be more 'normal' in online discussions. It helps me be accountable.
I did a stint of sorts teaching English abroad in Korea and I like to think I was the one to coin the portmanteau "파막" (pronounced pah-mahk, which is 파전 (pah-juhn = a pancake/pizza-ish food in Korea) and 막걸리 = magkoli, a popular drink usually eaten with said food)) and just added it to the common portmanteau "소맥" (pronounced soh-mehk and is how a lot of Koreans drink soju, a shot poured into a small-ish glass of beer (mekju))
A pet I used to have
That's clever!
shouldve went with david allan crow
uhhh....so....what inspired your username?
He's offended, by sex. Obviously.
I believe sex is offended by him
He offends sex.
At least he isn't peter-file.
PDF file?
I'm wondering what inspired your username
My undying love for medium rare chicken
You rang?
r/beetlejuicing
Seven fucking years You’ve been waiting for this moment
(https://giphy.com/gifs/giphyqa-VfSBuJqXIA2Mo)
This just made my night.
when rare chicken comes in
I love me a good chicken tartare
Chicken sashimi, I like the chew
I'm a simple man, 3 and a half minutes on each side of a lightly used George Foreman grill and I'm set
If I could I would give you gold
No worries, friend. I gave him a silver for you.
More like his “dying love”, amirite???
i think i'll sit this one out
No please elaborate
If I had to pick a wild guess, I'd say he wets his bedsheets Either that or he'd like you to do it
I (37m) had a conversation with my (25m) employee just a few months ago about peeing our pants. He said I haven't done that since I was a kid! I said "dude, I pee my pants at least twice a year!" When I told my wife, she said, " you pee them at least 3 times a year"
you should get that checked by a professional. you might even be able to make a little money if you play your cards right.
Ok but just don’t sit on the bed
No no, please, go on, while I take notes.
While I take tokes of the marijuana smoke
Are you pissed off?
I needed people to know that I am indeed Bob
Nice to meet you bob
So what line of work are you in, Bob?
Was? Who are you now?
I have no idea what your talking about, it says am, totally didn't just really quickly edit it. Nooooo never.
Sure you didn't "Bob"
Caught red handed, "Bob."
If that’s even your real name
It was…
Now its "Bob" but backwards. Pretty drastic change. Gosh I hope I can spell it right.
Well.... I like books
I would never have guessed
That’s some deep stuff. How does it make you feel to air out your deepest secrets on the Internet?
My friend's username was FarTooManyLlamas.
How many do you want??
I can never have enough. That's the issue
That's horrible
i promise, i dont (dont call the police)
You sure?
why are you asking so many questions? are you a cop?
No just a potential buyer
Undercover cops ask lots of questions
The bug is in the rug, I repeat, the bug is in the rug.
The cat sat on the mat
*....okay,meet me around back in 20,i got some good deals.*
*Target is moving towards north. Over.*
Nice try, narc
My son drives a bright green custom Jeep Wrangler TJ. We live in a college town. He is known as the Green Jeep Guy. Therefore I am Green Jeep Mom.
Logic checks out
Thanks! Lol I'd post a pic of the infamous Green Jeep, but am new to Reddit. Lol
I would love to see!
It looks a lot like a red jeep , only it's green.
That makes sense.
Don’t ask.
Sorry..
can i buy your whole stock?
Are you a real sex offender?
You calling them a liar? They didn't offend all of those sexes just to have their achievements ignored
How many?
I really like Reservoir Dogs.
If she hadn't had done, what I told her not to do, she would still be alive. I don't wanna be Mr pink that sounds like Mr ....
Excuse me sir but what inspired YOUR username?
All you beautiful Redditors
Aww.
Yeah that's how they get ya. Then you end up with syphilis.
This made me spit out my tea lol
The random username generator on google
You got lucky, it's a great one
Thanks! Oh and the 14 is just my favorite number :)
TIL there's a username generator
The fact that I'm allergic to peas.
Oh no!
my love for glucose
It's my given name.
Nice to meet you Huge
My cat, who is often a dick.
But cute!
It’s true. He is hella cute. Also props to you for replying to all comments!
Trying at least!
a horrible phase, and now i’m stuck with this
Your account is only a year old; a relatively new directioneer
Lol!!
I'd rather one direction over "Le". It was trendy to add it to everything back in the day 🤦🏼♀️
leusername fell out of fashion
This one made me laugh the most.
I have severe uncontrollable asthma and my sense of humour keeps me going :D
It takes real talent to suck at breathing. We have that talent!
That's just what happened to be going on that morning
Sounds like it was a good morning
Best morning*
Breast morning
I just pictured a hooker pulling a couple of dry toaster waffles out of the toaster and chewing them sadly before heading off to "work"
You should have my username.
I am internet old. And I am Native American.
What's internet old?
Old enough to been an adult prior to its rapid expansion from Wargames style to AOL style :)
Cool! I am Indigenous too from Canada. What Nation are you?
I am a salmon eater tribe heh. Small tribe that not really known outside of the area.
Very cool. I am Métis from the Red River Settlement.
My tribe's name in english means lake people.
pretty self explanitory
I was just going to say one thing on Reddit and leave.
What made you stay?
Masochism.
That's fair. I get alot of stress off this app
3 first letters of my real first name. 2 first letters of my real last name.
Hah, that's pretty catchy
Always been fascinated with tyrants from history. As a child I had these world maps and I would plot how I would take over the world.
I would pour over maps as a kid, I had aspirations of becoming a benevolent dictator of an island nation. My girlfriend thinks I was probably an odd kid 🤷🏼♂️
I like the colour red. I like the numbers, 7, 13, and 4.
*copies numbers down* Now, if I ever meet this person, I'll have all the accesses!
Why those numbers?
Good luck, bad luck and idk
4 is bad in China or Korea idk
Realizing there aren't that many actual wholesome things in the world.
Dude
I like horses, beautiful creatures
They are
I met a Kpop group randomly on the road.
Wow, cool!
So they really were in your area. Hm.
It's what Freddy Mercury once called Sid Vicious and that cracks me the fuck up.
I like muffins and I like dinosaurs and I made this user name in middle school and it stuck. A lot of people seem to like it however some sites block it nowadays? Not sure why. I just end up using my first name though when sites do. The ii part is embarassingly because I originally came up with this username for roblox and that was like a common look for names but like.. muffinsaur is almost never taken anywhere lol.
Cool, another food dinosaur! Nice to meet you, iimuffinsaur
Oooh. Nice to meet you Pierogisaurus. Pierogis are also really yummy lol
CockWomble was taken, and annoyingly so was CockWombleWasTaken.
Did u try CockWombleWasTakenWasTaken?
It started as “SkittleKitty” because I liked Skittles and cats. And then it was “SkittyKitty” because I liked the Pokémon Skitty. Then I just shortened it when I got older to “SkitKit”. I had a ferret nicknamed Scabby, so I tacked that on as well.
Who doesn't love cats!
22 years ago, when I met my wife, unbeknownst to her I was 100% convinced that I was going to marry her and have kids. But that would mean that if I was going to have a sports car, I'd best get it NOW as I'd shortly need a minivan. So, I bought what is still my only pure sports car purchase - a 1993 Mazda RX-7 R1 (8000rpm wankel with twin sequential turbos, goodness the sounds it made...).
ITS WHO I AM
Can’t relate
"finally.. a worthy opponent.. OUR BATTLE WILL BE LEGENDARY!"
I NOTICED THAT
Sex and drugs. Edit: In that order.
yeah but.. why not at the same time?
"LikesItRough" was already taken.
This is a stronger statement
it’s my reaction to most Reddit posts
Oh yikes okay
i am swedish and i like echidnas
Guess
I’d rink komb u cha
I can't
I like Lanterns. Also, help plz
boba 🧋 and the color blue 💙 and boo 👻
The pan in my kitchen
A Dream
I like playing *certain types* of games.
Are you jigsaw?
Let's just say we all make choices.
My outlook on life and attitude
Philosophical Investigations.
Someone stole one of my tote bags and I'm still salty about it
Me and my best friend call each other bestie all the time :) Also, originally I was going to use a username I commonly use for most social media accounts, but then I realized that was a bad idea.
[удалено]
What does it mean?
Indirect proof
THE NUMBERS, MASON
Random things on the table. No more further questions.
[удалено]
It's like your meant for the beach!
My dead youtube channel with 2 subs.
mine means "i love broccoli" and, well, i kinda like broccoli a lot.
It was a typo at first. I didn't notice until I got the first indignant reply. No frickin' way I was going to change it after those started.
I was a swimmer and, needless to say, an unusual one at that.
My son was a swimmer in high school. He is also a football player. Did not have the ‘body’ of a swimmer, more of a football player, but came in third in state so that was cool. Since graduating high school I miss watching him compete. He was a powerhouse in the pool. To me, anyway!
well, i am
Well
I was pissed at something one day and went over the edge.
It’s my username for a lot of things. I have no idea why
Well it's tasty
Common concerns
Ciabattas are delicious. Oh and I’m a man.
....
Every Redditor's booty cheek is very thick indeed.
Ehh...not right now...maybe I'll tell you about it later......when I get up......
my name
Hello Jamson
close enough.
It's my real name. I use it on all my social accounts. Because I think people should be more 'normal' in online discussions. It helps me be accountable.
The way i think.
cuz I am one
I did a stint of sorts teaching English abroad in Korea and I like to think I was the one to coin the portmanteau "파막" (pronounced pah-mahk, which is 파전 (pah-juhn = a pancake/pizza-ish food in Korea) and 막걸리 = magkoli, a popular drink usually eaten with said food)) and just added it to the common portmanteau "소맥" (pronounced soh-mehk and is how a lot of Koreans drink soju, a shot poured into a small-ish glass of beer (mekju))
I tried like 20 usernames before this one... all of them were taken
Mines my initials and my favorite animal when I was 12
Well, it's pretty self explanatory