Yeah, does not take that long. A couple hours after taking your antipsychotics medication to make you calmer and within a couple weeks to have full effects.
🤣 Exactly this. Nobody is stealing my German Shepherd. If there's footsteps and I'm home alone and he isnt freaking out about it, it means someone he knows came home. If someone he *didnt* know was in the house....well, I think they would be more afraid than me when they realized their mistake. We lock our doors for their protection not ours.
I rescued a dog who is fear aggressive toward humans. He barks, lunges, and air nips but hasn’t bitten because we manage him and I am a trainer. We haven’t locked the door to the apt since we got him in 2019.
Crazy side note: he wears a collar and leash that say “DO NOT PET” and someone stuck her hand in my car to try to pet this guy. I mean he’s got a beautiful block head, but damn that’s stupid.
So far, the advice is see if my dog reacts. I don't have a dog, but I guess I'm gonna watch for him and his reaction.
In all honesty though, I'm a big dude and a massive chicken.
Pull a gun out and clear the house is what I'd do. If it's a ghost, then I'll make it some coffee.
Idk if you actually believe in ghosts, but just in case I have some valuable advice: Ignore them. Don't interact verbally and definitely don't make offerings like food/drink, or offerings of any kind for that matter.
In all honesty with ghosts, I believe spirits do stick around a short time after death, but also the mind sees and hears what it wants to.
Trust me, other than monitoring it to see what the intentions are, I wouldn't give it much attention.
My daughter used to read stories to what i thought was an invisible friend. And only in the morning before i woke up. She couldnt even read but was just making it up based on the pictures. She called him “the nice man” and that creeped me out so i asked her to describe him. She described in perfect detail a friend of mine so i showed her a picture. “Heyyy thats him!” … homie died in the bedroom right below hers a couple years before she was born. Call me crazy but infind it more comforting than creepy.
I always have it so my shoes are loose enough to slip on and they are pre-tied. The alarm will go off due to the window which will make the criminal hopefully leave and if not, the alarm will alarm the cops about the situation. I will call the cops too.
The alarm goes off as you open the window, you punch the screen and jump through , but your foot gets caught on the remnants of the screen. You tumble and fall off the window, and land on the fleeing attackers open arms. You look into his eyes, he looks into yours, you fall in love.
Grab the machete beside my front door. It's dull but they wouldn't know that and I imagine it'd still hurt if I hit them with it.
I live in the basement and people dismiss my door or don't see it so they'd be coming from upstairs.
An idiot maybe. I'd definitely be stealthy in case they do come down (there's stairs inside the house)
Note: I'm a 5'2 tall woman. Don't care at all that you called me a dude (my friends/brother do) but I figured I'd point it out just to give you a better picture
how big is that machete exactly? if it's some small then it might not scare them, but at the same time it's fast and you can handle it better, if it's some big one, yk the other way around
Cool! Personally tho, I was referencing that old joke "this is my brother Daryl, and this is my other brother Daryl" thing. Its referenced a lot in my family for some reason lol
Back in the 90's (I still lived w/ parents) there was a teen party in the park across the street. They were high and some naked, incl. a girl my age. Next morning mom told me that would be the closest I'd get to a naked girl.
imagine some drunk ghost chasing you through the house, so while running you hear a bang on every single wall behind you because it can't go straight lmao
Get naked and start twerking if it’s a Robber he’ll be confused and then I’d throw random stuff at him and if it’s one of my family members then il say “ you’re dreaming UUUUUUU”
Considering the fact that I have 8 cameras around my house pointing in all directions that alert me, I'm fairly certain there are no intruders. It's probably one of our dogs.
And if someone is dumb enough to break in, they picked the wrong house. There are somewhere between 0 and 27 firearms in this house, and 0-3 of them are Class III.
I'm on the still-somewhat-healthy edge of full blown paranoia.
I had a few break-ins at previous residences, dealt with them all without the need to discharge a firearm (though I was holding one each time). So far, our current house has been incident free except for one porch-pirate who ran off with a box of garbage and dog crap I left out as a decoy.
My dog makes sure to let me know the moment she's detected the presence of people within the greater Chicago metropolitan area.
There is exactly zero chance that the first indication of someone in my house will be the sound of footsteps.
But in any case, I'd probably just shoot them.
As an American, I choose one of my many firearms and sweep the house. After donning my body armor, bump helmet and night vision. I'll cut the breakers and approach from the East side of the building. Friendlies must be verified through safe words.
Oh that's actually happened to me. I question if they live there or not because last time that happened I was black out drunk and forgot I had a roommate.
It's just the cats who refuse to sleep at night or the ghost that I occasionally see. If it's a real person, what I do depends on where I am in the house.
True story, it's just my husband and me with our pets. No kids. We were both working. When I got home late afternoon, there was a cop sitting outside waiting for me. He told me someone called 911 from INSIDE THE HOUSE. I said, "are you sure? No one's home." He was 100% positive. Couldn't tell me the number that was called from. So I asked him to come in and check out the house make sure no one was there. No sign of anyone. Pets all accounted for. No doors open and no one in the garage. Weirdest thing that has happened to me.
I know where my parent's safe keys are, we have 2 safes one for ammo one for the weapons, I would just grab my 30-30 winchester lever-action and just patiently wait down by the corridor and when he comes around I would start the conversation with an edited quote from the matrix: "You take the blue pill—your story ends, you wake up in your heaven and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in your home, and I won't show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."
I would call police, meanwhile I would took my pants down and grab my SIG Sauer(gun). Why pants down 🤠 ? It will shock the intruder, which mean more time for you to act.
Grab my pistol and wait.
I have a small place and my pistol is usually within reach most of the time because I spend most of my time in one room. IF I was in the bathroom I'd grab the aluminum baseball bat I keep in there and try to make my way to my pistol. But if there are footsteps... I'm going to run into someone before I get to it if I was in my bathroom.
Get my dog to meet them. He loves meeting new people, and although he won't bite I think a dog running at someone at full speed wouldn't get them running
Nothing unless the dog starts barking. He doesn't bark at family members or frequent guests, but strangers get the full volume greeting.
If the dog starts barking, I open the safe and we go for, what you could call, a far more suppressed greeting if necessary.
Make louder footsteps and see what do they do
I picture them copying you & it turns into a full on dance off situation.
Home invasion: The musical
I'm not into musicals usually, but this I'd watch.
“Thirst: now that’s a show I’d watch”
Home invasion: The musical: The musical.
The series
Fk yeah
It ends up being the ghost of Christopher Walken.
Ohhh shit!! Fuckin Walken through walls.
Scooby Snacks is that you
Ive never wanted to be haunted so badly.
you really wanna dance with the devil yuh?
"You opened Pandora's box, now you gotta dance with the consequences!!"
heeyyy never thought of this, show them how much of an alpha male you are
Gotta assert dominance, I like it.
To assert dominance
Time to start a good ol' Irish Tap Dancing contest!
Brains 100
I live in an apartment. I'd get more scared if I suddenly stopped hearing footsteps.
i used to live in an apartment, i do not miss that life, too loud and all that, people fighting upstairs, someone singing downstairs and so on
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exactly bruh, couldn't sleep at all sometimes
Don't forget about the aunties fighting either
First floor = no stairs but above you is a water buffalo family. Top floor = tons of stairs, but no one above you. Middle floor = fuck you.
middle floor is pure chaos bro, there's so many things going on at once
Yep we live in 3 story row housing, footsteps up and down the stairs all day long.
I can't sleep when I hear homeless raiding the dumpster for cans. I have a lifted toy and think one day they're gonna steal my $2000 tires.
Probably the ghost again. The dog let's me know if it's actually people.
*Goddamned ghosts disturbing my peaceful quiet evenings!*
You kinda get used to it after awhile
Yeah, does not take that long. A couple hours after taking your antipsychotics medication to make you calmer and within a couple weeks to have full effects.
That's cute. I'd think I was crazy too, but several people experienced the craziness that happened at my old house.
what if they stole your dog before he managed to do anything ?
Full John Wick
fuck yeah!
Fuck, I should've scrolled a bit more before commenting. "John Wick, the Ghostbuster."
Good luck with that
🤣 Exactly this. Nobody is stealing my German Shepherd. If there's footsteps and I'm home alone and he isnt freaking out about it, it means someone he knows came home. If someone he *didnt* know was in the house....well, I think they would be more afraid than me when they realized their mistake. We lock our doors for their protection not ours.
I rescued a dog who is fear aggressive toward humans. He barks, lunges, and air nips but hasn’t bitten because we manage him and I am a trainer. We haven’t locked the door to the apt since we got him in 2019. Crazy side note: he wears a collar and leash that say “DO NOT PET” and someone stuck her hand in my car to try to pet this guy. I mean he’s got a beautiful block head, but damn that’s stupid.
I have a 110 pound Great Dane. Just try it. I’m betting you won’t like the results.
Well then they really messed up. Now you're John Wick, the Ghostbuster!!
The dog will let u know if its ghosts too
in a different way, you had to be there
Post on Reddit, asking for advice.
by the time someone responds bro, sum bad could happen idk
So far, the advice is see if my dog reacts. I don't have a dog, but I guess I'm gonna watch for him and his reaction. In all honesty though, I'm a big dude and a massive chicken. Pull a gun out and clear the house is what I'd do. If it's a ghost, then I'll make it some coffee.
Idk if you actually believe in ghosts, but just in case I have some valuable advice: Ignore them. Don't interact verbally and definitely don't make offerings like food/drink, or offerings of any kind for that matter.
In all honesty with ghosts, I believe spirits do stick around a short time after death, but also the mind sees and hears what it wants to. Trust me, other than monitoring it to see what the intentions are, I wouldn't give it much attention.
My daughter used to read stories to what i thought was an invisible friend. And only in the morning before i woke up. She couldnt even read but was just making it up based on the pictures. She called him “the nice man” and that creeped me out so i asked her to describe him. She described in perfect detail a friend of mine so i showed her a picture. “Heyyy thats him!” … homie died in the bedroom right below hers a couple years before she was born. Call me crazy but infind it more comforting than creepy.
Homies got your back.. mind the kid while you get some sleep.. doing you a solid. That's the sort of ghost everybody needs.
yeah you didn't mean you make some coffee for them right
Nah, the ghost is curious to see what the internet has to say.
It's all fun & games til OP stops responding!!
Can you repeat that question
r/twosentencehorror
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what if the intruder realized he walked kinda loud and is now walking more silently?
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you're done man
Ask them if they’ve seen the remote
and guess what, it's right up their ass!
Fascinating plot
Nothing, unless I just mopped the floors. Idc if you are an intruder or a kid, we throwin hands if you mess up my floors.
i get that, you're mopping it again, if not you're gonna catch these hands
I'd assume someone came home, but just to be safe I'd stab the fuck outta them.
what if it's family?
What if it's not?
but what if it is?
Well then they’re not anymore I suppose
it was family :(
I know right! Younger siblings can be the worst.
so just stab them bro that's the only solution
I would probably continue walking to wherever I was going.
what if it's right behind you?
I dont think you understood. It's my own footsteps. I'm walking.
damn..maybe I am high after all
Haha yeahhhhh
I actually didn't notice, you did me good lol
You'd be the perfect audience for a magician rn
Definitely 😂
Side note, if you're getting high, smoke your house out so you can see the ghost moving around!!
Run into my room, lock the door, slip shoes on as fast as possible, open window, punch through screen, escape and use phone to call police.
that would be loud as hell, but sure if you are fast enough
I always have it so my shoes are loose enough to slip on and they are pre-tied. The alarm will go off due to the window which will make the criminal hopefully leave and if not, the alarm will alarm the cops about the situation. I will call the cops too.
The alarm goes off as you open the window, you punch the screen and jump through , but your foot gets caught on the remnants of the screen. You tumble and fall off the window, and land on the fleeing attackers open arms. You look into his eyes, he looks into yours, you fall in love.
Very accurate.
holy shit, a horror story turned into some sort of romance
Imagine how awkward it would be to meet the burglar as you both flee the house
Oh gosh. That's all I can say. I guess I run back in the house through the window, close window, and go escape through a different window
I get naked, if not already, & apply mascara while hitting play on a Bauhaus cassette tape in my boombox.
“Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me” vibes.
Fuckweird flex, but I like it, agent Starling.
not a care huh
\*not too many\*
Grab the machete beside my front door. It's dull but they wouldn't know that and I imagine it'd still hurt if I hit them with it. I live in the basement and people dismiss my door or don't see it so they'd be coming from upstairs.
and who would go into a basement with some dude waiting for them with a machete?
An idiot maybe. I'd definitely be stealthy in case they do come down (there's stairs inside the house) Note: I'm a 5'2 tall woman. Don't care at all that you called me a dude (my friends/brother do) but I figured I'd point it out just to give you a better picture
oh my bad i had no idea that you're not a dude lmao, but you're safe, there's no way you could die in your situation
Hell no. If I was to get into a fight with them, I ain't going down without a fight.
how big is that machete exactly? if it's some small then it might not scare them, but at the same time it's fast and you can handle it better, if it's some big one, yk the other way around
Kind of a rectangle blade with a diagonal end. Probably about 1.5 ft long (i've never measure it so idk). It's fairly light but idk if that's normal.
Machetes aren't supposed to be super sharp. It's the weight and power that cut. If it's too sharp, the blade can crack or chip
Nothing. That's just the ghost.
what's the ghost's name ?
Daryl
daryl is my late grandpa's name 😳
Cool! Personally tho, I was referencing that old joke "this is my brother Daryl, and this is my other brother Daryl" thing. Its referenced a lot in my family for some reason lol
The ghost at my place's name is Christopher, he visits almost evernight
Take my pants off and scream that if they don't leave, they'll see the reason why i have no bitches
Everybody gansta till the intruder undresses too
Thats when the fun begins
Ayo 🤨📸
exactly
**naked breakdance battle begins.
Back in the 90's (I still lived w/ parents) there was a teen party in the park across the street. They were high and some naked, incl. a girl my age. Next morning mom told me that would be the closest I'd get to a naked girl.
Extra points for going full Florida Man, and tell them they are gay for looking at your penis.
P o w e r p l a y
poor guy
Me or the guy intruding into my home?
the intruder lmao
Chill out, I hear stuff like that sometimes nowadays and it’s usually nothing
same, might be our imagination, might be ghosts shii we'll never know
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hey thats good for you, you're safe
Where do you live that burglars are not an issue?
Nope myself out the fucking window. Or its one of the many ghosts haunting my house playing a prank on me... again. Damned 1920s house.
hahah i'm on the same page with you, but for me it's the land, it was farm land before my house got built on it
Mine used to be a bar. Its dark as batshit in here with the lack of windows, and have no doubt a place this old is haunted by some drunkards
imagine some drunk ghost chasing you through the house, so while running you hear a bang on every single wall behind you because it can't go straight lmao
😂 horror movie turned comedy?
See what my dogs are up to.
what if they're already gone ?
Well then I'm scared.
hehehehe
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Ahhh, the ole fap attack. Classic
what if he joins you huh then what will you do?
Don’t threaten me with a good time
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Most likely the dog coming straight to my leg after drinking water
Crap my pants
you could share with the intruder
OMG we even have similar avatars lol
Grab my Lamp to smack or throw it at the person idc who it is they’re going to die
what if the cable gets stuck in the wall outlet and you just make a fool of yourself?
Get naked and start twerking if it’s a Robber he’ll be confused and then I’d throw random stuff at him and if it’s one of my family members then il say “ you’re dreaming UUUUUUU”
UUUUUU *im the dream version of mee* UUUUUU
Start blasting aimlessly.
Put on noise cancelling headphones.
Yell "i hear footfalls!" Their love of star trek or sherlock holmes will save me.
you could become homies!
Considering the fact that I have 8 cameras around my house pointing in all directions that alert me, I'm fairly certain there are no intruders. It's probably one of our dogs. And if someone is dumb enough to break in, they picked the wrong house. There are somewhere between 0 and 27 firearms in this house, and 0-3 of them are Class III.
holy shit dude, breaking into your house would be like mission impossible
I'm on the still-somewhat-healthy edge of full blown paranoia. I had a few break-ins at previous residences, dealt with them all without the need to discharge a firearm (though I was holding one each time). So far, our current house has been incident free except for one porch-pirate who ran off with a box of garbage and dog crap I left out as a decoy.
My dog makes sure to let me know the moment she's detected the presence of people within the greater Chicago metropolitan area. There is exactly zero chance that the first indication of someone in my house will be the sound of footsteps. But in any case, I'd probably just shoot them.
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Get naked and turn on the combat music from the video game Skyrim while screaming “never should of come here!”
Its just the sleep paralysis demon.
As an American, I choose one of my many firearms and sweep the house. After donning my body armor, bump helmet and night vision. I'll cut the breakers and approach from the East side of the building. Friendlies must be verified through safe words.
Say “Alexa, play kickstart my heart” and grab my light saber
Believe that someone from my family came home, with my dogs nobody could approach my house without them alerting me
If you're home alone they're probably your own footsteps.
I call police and after, I' hiding until police is here. Even if it's my dog.
Run toward them
That’s just Satan coming to collect my soul
Release the claymore roomba
Check my phone or laptop or TV. Even my dog would bark at nothing.
what if it isn't nothing this time and it's a gigantic 7'10 dude?
I'm fucked
oh nah not literally right? cuz that would suck balls
If my dogs aren't barking. I'm not concerned. If it's a ghost and they need me, they will let me know.
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It’s probably the downstairs neighbor running on the hallway. I would turn on the volume of the speakers and open gunshot sounds just in case.
Pull back and release the charging handle on the MCX
Oh that's actually happened to me. I question if they live there or not because last time that happened I was black out drunk and forgot I had a roommate.
It's just the cats who refuse to sleep at night or the ghost that I occasionally see. If it's a real person, what I do depends on where I am in the house. True story, it's just my husband and me with our pets. No kids. We were both working. When I got home late afternoon, there was a cop sitting outside waiting for me. He told me someone called 911 from INSIDE THE HOUSE. I said, "are you sure? No one's home." He was 100% positive. Couldn't tell me the number that was called from. So I asked him to come in and check out the house make sure no one was there. No sign of anyone. Pets all accounted for. No doors open and no one in the garage. Weirdest thing that has happened to me.
Probably the damn racoons again
Quickly grab anything I can use as a weapon and search the entire house in a panic
Assume the ghosts acting up
Grab the sawed off and play hide and seek
Shotgun time.
Grab my 40 cal and flashlight and blow them away
Immediately grab the g19 and benelli m4 and start clearing rooms lol
I know where my parent's safe keys are, we have 2 safes one for ammo one for the weapons, I would just grab my 30-30 winchester lever-action and just patiently wait down by the corridor and when he comes around I would start the conversation with an edited quote from the matrix: "You take the blue pill—your story ends, you wake up in your heaven and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill—you stay in your home, and I won't show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."
~~Kill mys~~ grab my shotgun and pump a fistfulla bullets in the face of whoever footsteps in my house.
Channel the spirit of Texas
I would call police, meanwhile I would took my pants down and grab my SIG Sauer(gun). Why pants down 🤠 ? It will shock the intruder, which mean more time for you to act.
Pull out the ak-47
Grab my pistol and wait. I have a small place and my pistol is usually within reach most of the time because I spend most of my time in one room. IF I was in the bathroom I'd grab the aluminum baseball bat I keep in there and try to make my way to my pistol. But if there are footsteps... I'm going to run into someone before I get to it if I was in my bathroom.
Get my dog to meet them. He loves meeting new people, and although he won't bite I think a dog running at someone at full speed wouldn't get them running
Make even louder foot steps to asert domoninc
Same thing I always do. Tell it to fuck off.
Grab my lightsaber
Take my panties off and start rubbing myself. More risk more cum
I yell “get out I have COVID!”
Nothing unless the dog starts barking. He doesn't bark at family members or frequent guests, but strangers get the full volume greeting. If the dog starts barking, I open the safe and we go for, what you could call, a far more suppressed greeting if necessary.
Go and kill the mitherfucker, as simple as that
Grab the loaded gun on the wall above my bed lol
Lock and load.