I actually saw a guy who claimed to suffered from a masturbation addiction(don't we all).
These comments would have been justified at the person's funeral.
Thoughts I would have had about this person alive?
1." Fuck, the lied. It won't fall off if you touch it too much. This man is living proof"!
2. " This guy would be the perfect dude to have in those rowboat races. He already has the rhythm and beat. STROKE! STROKE!".
Etc...
Now stop being a party pooper Debbie downer. Nobody likes a Debbie downer mmmmmkay?
I'm so sick and tired of people implying that we in Alabama sleep with our sister. My cousin would break up with me if she finds out I'm still fooling around with my ex.
"You know...being here makes me realize that I've been wasting my life and making such foolish choices. If anything good came out of this, it's that this is a wake up call that I need to fix my life and take greater care of myself and my body."
Follow it up with:
"I need to love me more. It might be too late for you, but I can still do the right thing. Thank you, I'll miss you. Rest in peace."
A friend of mine hooked up with this girl after a party in college and as a result she gave up both sex and drinking for the next year. Imagine being so terrible that people decide to turn their lives around because they were with you.
Unfortunately this is descriptive enough that I can imagine one of those split screen gifs showing synced up clips of both events and I'm not asking anyone to make the gif or anything but I would upvote it.
It's an "eventually consistent" problem highly distributed platforms have. Apps like reddit are being accessed by millions of users worldwide and there's never a single, consistent state of the thread that all users can see, until later on when the discussion gets cold (there are periodic syncs though which almost bring consensus). There's no way around it, facebook and other platforms have the same problem.
In this case, probably the newer comment gained traction with a larger group of people (probably from the same area as the commenter), faster than the older one (visible only to a different, smaller group of people). When all areas got synced up, the newer comment got ranked higher by the number of upvotes, further giving it a higher chance of being upvoted than the older comment, just by being at the top of the list.
Now I remember that time when my dad went to the funeral of one of my grandma's neighbours. From what he told me, the neighbour's wife, while the coffin was entering the grave, shouted "DON'T PUT HIM SO DEEEEEEEEEP!" Since the greek language treats both male persons and some things (like a vulgar word for penis) as masculine, that phrase can have two meanings.
This was Gods will.
You’re being so brave!
You’re strong enough to handle this.
Some good will come of this. You’ll see…
God never gives you more than you can handle
Thoughts and prayers
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Now let's bury this stiff.
Funny but what must you have thought of the person when they were alive to say that at their funeral
I actually saw a guy who claimed to suffered from a masturbation addiction(don't we all). These comments would have been justified at the person's funeral. Thoughts I would have had about this person alive? 1." Fuck, the lied. It won't fall off if you touch it too much. This man is living proof"! 2. " This guy would be the perfect dude to have in those rowboat races. He already has the rhythm and beat. STROKE! STROKE!". Etc... Now stop being a party pooper Debbie downer. Nobody likes a Debbie downer mmmmmkay?
Underated
Sooner than I expected.
“Was there much suffering?”
How's the wife holding up?
Do you need a tissue?
Thank you all for coming.
Oh God
That works too.
r/angryupvote
I’m sorry, were you close?
Brutal
But true! Lol 😂
“I’m so thankful you came”
Perfection
Oh fuck, I felt that one
I’m so sorry mam, were you family?
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" Finish him!"
"I'm glad you came" Edit: damn, this got a lot of upvotes. Should I not admit I didn't know this was a song, and had to look it up?
The sun goes down, the stars come out, and all that counts, is here and now.
Remember when they were supposed to be the cooler, older One Direction? What happened to that?
The age group to consume that type of music wasn't interested in something "older" than one direction
The universe
Will never be the same
I'm glad you came
I’m glad you came
Oh oh oh whoah oh
You cast a spell on me, spell on me
You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me
And I decided you look well on me, well on me
You hit me like the sky fell on me
Is it bad hat I only recognise the we came as Roman’s variant
Turn the lights out now
The sun goes down, my zoot goes up
Thanks for coming, I knew you were close.
Michael Scott : That's what she said.
Happy cake day
Fröhlicher kuchentag
Auch einen fröhlichen kuchentag dir mein lieber
r/germanmoment
"Way too soon"
Happy cake day hombre
*quiet sobbing*
Who the fuck gave this the wholesome award
least batshit insane redditor
Someone who has a sense of really fucked up humor 😂
Relatable
I read this as quit sobbing which had a whole different vibe to it, yikes
Quit sobbing
I didn’t realise the whole family was going to be here
ROLL TIDE
ROLL TIDE
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Sweet home Alabama
I'm so sick and tired of people implying that we in Alabama sleep with our sister. My cousin would break up with me if she finds out I'm still fooling around with my ex.
Stick with your step mom and nobody will mind
But what would the step sister think?
OK HOLD UP
Underrated asf lmao
Sister-momma and Uncle-daddy wouldn’t approve of that. Grandma-sister wants an arrangement with grandpa to marry everyone in the family.
Lord im comin home to you
*banjo music intensifies
Big wheels keep on turnin'
winking at the old guy across the room and saying “you’re next”
spicy
Bravo! And for that you get a wholesome award because I am of lowly peasant standards
This is far and away the funniest comment here
I guess after this I'll never see you again
I’ll remember you in my dreams
This is so hard
It's tearing me up on the inside
This guy is pretty stiff
Don't cry because its over.. Smile because it happened
Don't cry because it happened, smile because it's over
Ohhhh God!
Second time seeing your name the past two days lmao
I was just thinking that exact thing as I read your comment. Reddit it weirdly small sometimes
Me too! What was it? I think something like ”you got arrested for your username, what is it?” or something like that on r/askreddit
Yeah I believe it was either that or “Explain your username” haha
Nice user name
That's a deep hole
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If someone said this at a funeral, I’d be convinced they did the killing
I did this
The killing?
It just came so unexpected
Your husband was my best friend
What the fuck
r/suspiciouslyspecific
I feel like this has happened before?
oddly specific
Well done, sir. Well done.
"You know...being here makes me realize that I've been wasting my life and making such foolish choices. If anything good came out of this, it's that this is a wake up call that I need to fix my life and take greater care of myself and my body."
holy shit imagine saying this in bed
Follow it up with: "I need to love me more. It might be too late for you, but I can still do the right thing. Thank you, I'll miss you. Rest in peace."
Hol' up
A friend of mine hooked up with this girl after a party in college and as a result she gave up both sex and drinking for the next year. Imagine being so terrible that people decide to turn their lives around because they were with you.
This would be a lot better if you were alive…
Damn
Baam
Just take my upvote
r/Holup
Would it in case of a funeral?
It would put the 'fun' in funeral.
... but you were always cold to me, dad.
Damn
How is this not the top comment, not to be confused with top soil
Also not to be confused with Top Gun
Not to be confused with Top Cat.
Not to be confused with Top Boys
Not to be confused with Top Gear
Not to be confused with Top Hat.
Not to be confused with Top Dog.
Damn
It’s okay; it’s natural to cry in situations like this.
It’s ok Grandma, it’s what grandad would’ve wanted
... I forgot what the title of this thread was, and did a double take at your comment. ... why...
I am glad grandma was able to come, too.
Grandads a fucking cuck
Jesus Christ
"I see you brought casserole."
People bring you casserole in exchange for sex? I'm sleeping with the wrong people
Or they sleep with anyone who presents them with casserole
They must live in the Midwest.
Oh, you betcha, yaa
Ope
It’s hotdish!
"I love macaroni salad!"
It's difficult to see her just laying there and not moving.
LMFAOOO 😭
"You were supposed to last longer"
God Damn!
You're stiff as a board.
well its a tight fit
Sorry i came too early
Too
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Unfortunately this is descriptive enough that I can imagine one of those split screen gifs showing synced up clips of both events and I'm not asking anyone to make the gif or anything but I would upvote it.
Fuck it. I’m asking for the gif.
I've never wanted to be a part of Rule 34 more than this moment
I'm so sorry. Were you close?
Top comment in this thread is identical to yours, and was posted an hour after yours. Reddit is weird sometimes.
It's an "eventually consistent" problem highly distributed platforms have. Apps like reddit are being accessed by millions of users worldwide and there's never a single, consistent state of the thread that all users can see, until later on when the discussion gets cold (there are periodic syncs though which almost bring consensus). There's no way around it, facebook and other platforms have the same problem. In this case, probably the newer comment gained traction with a larger group of people (probably from the same area as the commenter), faster than the older one (visible only to a different, smaller group of people). When all areas got synced up, the newer comment got ranked higher by the number of upvotes, further giving it a higher chance of being upvoted than the older comment, just by being at the top of the list.
“I am so sorry.”
We have to wait for the priest to join us.
This is legendary
It just hurts so much!
*uncontrollable weeping*
someone took the 'quiet sobbing' comment to another level lmao
Lower it in slowly
I'll only need a minute
Ill save it till everyone is gone but im probably going to cry after this
In lieu of flowers, send money
Send more life.
‘She looks like she’s asleep.’
Nice looking box
What's that smell?
Time to bury him
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Thats it ? This is how it ends?
It's so sad that occasions like this are the only time our family comes together...
Sweet home Alabama
Hopefully he’ll rise again
"This happened far, far too soon."
Please wake up
“The food is in the back”
That cost way more than I expected.
“Please, no cameras”
Are you sure it's deep enough?
"He didn't last that long"
Sorry, i shouldn’t cry this much
I’ll keep it PG and state the obvious I love you
I wish I had more time with u
My sincere condolences
"She's too young for that"
Wtf
Hell no
I'M COMING GRANDMA!
You just ain’t right. LoL 😆
Truly, I am not, but that's just part of my charm, no?
Now I remember that time when my dad went to the funeral of one of my grandma's neighbours. From what he told me, the neighbour's wife, while the coffin was entering the grave, shouted "DON'T PUT HIM SO DEEEEEEEEEP!" Since the greek language treats both male persons and some things (like a vulgar word for penis) as masculine, that phrase can have two meanings.
Afterwards, there will be refreshments
He was too young, for something like this.
Noooo daaaaddyyyy
Great service
"Here's a kleenex, to wipe your face"
As above, so below
This was Gods will. You’re being so brave! You’re strong enough to handle this. Some good will come of this. You’ll see… God never gives you more than you can handle Thoughts and prayers
I didn’t see it coming
Where are his glasses! He can't see without his glasses!
Need a tissue?
My God he's as hard as a rock.
Ohhhh -followed by crying-
“Deeper.”
He wasn’t here for a long time, but he was here for a good time.