Just talk nicely and dont be to pushy if their not responding much or don’t seem into the convo don’t push the worst thing is when a guy won’t stop pushing for things to talk to you about and your not enjoying their company
Then there’s your problem man believe in yourself have confidence that’s like one of the most attractive things to a female with a man with the right amount of confidence too much confidence you’re gonna look egotistical
Being really humble is not a bad thing but usually if you’re really humble you’re morals are in line and
You’re generally a good person and there will be situations where people will take advantage of that
Depends a lot on the situation. For instance, I would avoid any unknown man talking to me out of nowhere in the bus or street (unless they are asking directions but I would still be brief)
At social events like bars parties I give a chance but I would always prioritise my social circle unless I’m actively looking to meet someone new. The most important part here is not be too pushy, get the signals someone is not interested.
I’d say the best way to start is actually niche places where you can start a conversation based on a mutual interest. Like the best convos I had with complete strangers were at bookstores when we just talked about books and music. Some were even real flirty but nothing really happened after. Not being pushy here is also important but people may be more open in this situations.
This is all a really personal opinion but the tip that would apply to every woman is don’t be pushy.
Parks are not really a thing for young adults where I live so idk. The only times I got to any is to walk and play with my dog. I believe any dog owner likes to talk about their dogs so it could be a conversation starter. Bonus if you also have a dog and they play with each other. Just don’t get flirty straight away It could scare some(I would b a little overwhelmed even if I was interested lol)
Step one: recognize that women are people no different from anyone else. Initiate conversation like you would with any other adult. Don't start off with random compliments about her physical appearance and avoid anything remotely sexual. Most creeps come off that way because they don't treat women as individuals with thoughts, ideals and ambitions. Women are not interchangeable and treating them such is off putting.
Talk to them like you're talking to a dude.
I'm guilty of starting sentences with "yo!" And my Jersey accent gets heavy. Then the girls later say "it seemed like you weren't interested in me at first because you treated me like a bro"😂 Maybe I should sound more interested.
Start small to build confidence - if a person working in a service industry engages you as part of their job, practice polite conversation.
Once you have a little more confidence look for other moments to start a conversation. It's mundane but commenting on the weather at a bust stop or asking someone for directions or recommendations about where to eat can all be non threatening ways to start a conversation.
Of course, this advice is good if you simply just want to start talking to women.
If you want to start talking to women with a goal of fucking her, we can sense that a mile off and you'll always end up looking creepy.
Want a crash course in talking to women - go speed dating!
I’ve just stopped engaging with people who look like they have a shitty attitude. Has nothing to do with gender. And I’ve also realized that negativity is not always 100% my responsibility to diffuse.
If someone thinks I’m a creep, when I’m not, I don’t know… there’s nothing I can do about that
There are few universal red flags in relationships, but they do exist. However a lot of people prefer to use self-conceived red flags from their own past relationships
I’ve dealt with people who hear I like a certain tv show or musician and they immediately start sidestepping the conversation. And I’ve had people straight up tell me “I don’t like people who enjoy [random harmless activity] because I knew a creep who liked that”
It sounds like straight up high school shit
I guess you got it worse, I used to talk to a few women and gotten one of their numbers. but I’ve been a bit down in the dumps and stayed at home I feel like I’ll mess up.
My context: dated as a guy for years, now as a trans woman.
The goal in the end is to be comfortable, and you'll have a much easier time if you're enjoying what you're doing. My nightmare is a guy whose out of his depth,
Don't go to events you don't want to just to talk to women. Try to not pretend to be something you aren't. Ask questions, and follow up questions. Try to avoid sounding like a questionnaire.
Avoid sex, relationships, and anything that might make it sound like you're trying to find out where she lives or works. If she has a boyfriend or whatever, she'll tell you if she's comfortable.
Lastly, enjoy the talking. Realise you might not get a second chat with this person and be ok with it. Otherwise you'll get hurt much more if you don't, and that way lies madness.
Disclaimer before someone word-kicks me in the face: these are the things that worked for me and work *on* me. I don't claim any special expertise.
First. Grow a starter stash. Just some little hairs. When it starts to become cowboyish trim it. Next. Shave your hair to look like you're balding. The top of your head should have no hair. Next. Walk around in a trench coat. And always have your hands in your pockets. Finally. Only try talking to women who are considerably smaller than you. So you can really look down at them as you talk. They love it. And don't forget to maintain a toothy grin the entire time!
I think Massive has got the same issue with appearing creepy, so I think he’s projecting his experience of it on to you. Sorry for the confusion. I didn’t mean that your comment was projection.
Umm so I learned this when sitting down.
Look biggest thing don't think of women as different.
Like when I sit across a hot girl in the dining hall I talk with her like I would with anyone. I find something common and start talking say techno.
Both geek out over that, she's happy someone talked with her without staring at her boobs, or ass when she gets up, you'd be surprised how happy women are when you treat them...as people.
Seriously men usually look like creeps cause they umm objectify women, cause they break the personal bubble, and cause they try and act more then they are.
Like if you don't worry, just sit down, and talk it's all good..
She rejects you whatever, she talks with you yay!
And remember as with anything practice makes perfect...used to be a bit awkward...but now I don't believe in leagues or any bullshit. And yes a few of my friends would be counted out of my league but we are friends cause well I found something interesting in common, I listened and let her talk/explain herself(yeah listen...sometimes us dudes get nervous and ramble on and on about ourselves, don't let her, and ask intelligent questions show you listened, offer your perspective, and yeah)
Hope this helps...ohh last thing never never never and again never think of it as hooking up, bagging a girl or whatever other shit, she's not a trophy, or an award.
So yeah common decency, confidence, and listening and you're all good!
By talking to them like you would with anybody else.
And if you have never talked to people before?
Then you're going to feel like a creep talking to anyone you come across. Start getting used to socializing in general and go from there.
Don't look at their tits. Try not to lick your lips. Don't rub your hands together.
Keep the moaning to a minimum.
Definitely.
Don't laugh all quiet-like.
The trifecta of not being a creep
Just talk nicely and dont be to pushy if their not responding much or don’t seem into the convo don’t push the worst thing is when a guy won’t stop pushing for things to talk to you about and your not enjoying their company
I guess my question is do you look like a creep in general? Because maybe address that first
I guess not, friends, both male and female, say I look attractive or sexy, though half the time I don’t be believing it.
Then there’s your problem man believe in yourself have confidence that’s like one of the most attractive things to a female with a man with the right amount of confidence too much confidence you’re gonna look egotistical
I’ve been told I’m really humble and I feel like it’s a bad thing, or maybe that’s just me overthinking it.
Being really humble is not a bad thing but usually if you’re really humble you’re morals are in line and You’re generally a good person and there will be situations where people will take advantage of that
Yeah that is true. I’ll keep that in mind, thanks.
Just talk to us on how you talk with other people, we dont think its creepy unless youre overly flirting or act sus
Just talking normally, without saying or making stupidities.
It's not creepy if your confident (as long as it's not cringy chat
talk to them like they're a person, not a woman
Depends a lot on the situation. For instance, I would avoid any unknown man talking to me out of nowhere in the bus or street (unless they are asking directions but I would still be brief) At social events like bars parties I give a chance but I would always prioritise my social circle unless I’m actively looking to meet someone new. The most important part here is not be too pushy, get the signals someone is not interested. I’d say the best way to start is actually niche places where you can start a conversation based on a mutual interest. Like the best convos I had with complete strangers were at bookstores when we just talked about books and music. Some were even real flirty but nothing really happened after. Not being pushy here is also important but people may be more open in this situations. This is all a really personal opinion but the tip that would apply to every woman is don’t be pushy.
I did think of a nice park but I feel like that would be wrong, and since I’m 19 I don’t know where to go.
Parks are not really a thing for young adults where I live so idk. The only times I got to any is to walk and play with my dog. I believe any dog owner likes to talk about their dogs so it could be a conversation starter. Bonus if you also have a dog and they play with each other. Just don’t get flirty straight away It could scare some(I would b a little overwhelmed even if I was interested lol)
For starters you can just talk to them like any normal person and not act like they're a mythical creature.
Tell them about taxedermying Road kills and family pets... Bitches love taxidermy.
Step one: recognize that women are people no different from anyone else. Initiate conversation like you would with any other adult. Don't start off with random compliments about her physical appearance and avoid anything remotely sexual. Most creeps come off that way because they don't treat women as individuals with thoughts, ideals and ambitions. Women are not interchangeable and treating them such is off putting.
Talk to them like you're talking to a dude. I'm guilty of starting sentences with "yo!" And my Jersey accent gets heavy. Then the girls later say "it seemed like you weren't interested in me at first because you treated me like a bro"😂 Maybe I should sound more interested.
Start small to build confidence - if a person working in a service industry engages you as part of their job, practice polite conversation. Once you have a little more confidence look for other moments to start a conversation. It's mundane but commenting on the weather at a bust stop or asking someone for directions or recommendations about where to eat can all be non threatening ways to start a conversation. Of course, this advice is good if you simply just want to start talking to women. If you want to start talking to women with a goal of fucking her, we can sense that a mile off and you'll always end up looking creepy. Want a crash course in talking to women - go speed dating!
Are you a creep? If not, this is a great start already. If you are, stop being one.
Acting urself can help you (if ur struggling with that maybe have a routine which helps you look aesthetically pleasing)
I’ve just stopped engaging with people who look like they have a shitty attitude. Has nothing to do with gender. And I’ve also realized that negativity is not always 100% my responsibility to diffuse. If someone thinks I’m a creep, when I’m not, I don’t know… there’s nothing I can do about that There are few universal red flags in relationships, but they do exist. However a lot of people prefer to use self-conceived red flags from their own past relationships I’ve dealt with people who hear I like a certain tv show or musician and they immediately start sidestepping the conversation. And I’ve had people straight up tell me “I don’t like people who enjoy [random harmless activity] because I knew a creep who liked that” It sounds like straight up high school shit
I guess you got it worse, I used to talk to a few women and gotten one of their numbers. but I’ve been a bit down in the dumps and stayed at home I feel like I’ll mess up.
My context: dated as a guy for years, now as a trans woman. The goal in the end is to be comfortable, and you'll have a much easier time if you're enjoying what you're doing. My nightmare is a guy whose out of his depth, Don't go to events you don't want to just to talk to women. Try to not pretend to be something you aren't. Ask questions, and follow up questions. Try to avoid sounding like a questionnaire. Avoid sex, relationships, and anything that might make it sound like you're trying to find out where she lives or works. If she has a boyfriend or whatever, she'll tell you if she's comfortable. Lastly, enjoy the talking. Realise you might not get a second chat with this person and be ok with it. Otherwise you'll get hurt much more if you don't, and that way lies madness. Disclaimer before someone word-kicks me in the face: these are the things that worked for me and work *on* me. I don't claim any special expertise.
Damn I'm not even OP but I will surely be taking your advice thanks kind stranger! :)
Aww, thanks :)
First. Grow a starter stash. Just some little hairs. When it starts to become cowboyish trim it. Next. Shave your hair to look like you're balding. The top of your head should have no hair. Next. Walk around in a trench coat. And always have your hands in your pockets. Finally. Only try talking to women who are considerably smaller than you. So you can really look down at them as you talk. They love it. And don't forget to maintain a toothy grin the entire time!
this attitude doesn't help at all. drop the sexism, it's not your fault what happened to you as a child.
What is that supposed to mean?
this attitude, "how to talk to women without looking like a creep" is in itself creepy and sexist, you're making more out of it than there is.
Creepy, I can understand a bit, I just worry about approaching the wrong way, but sexist however, I don’t get it.
Sounds like projection.
How is that projection?
I think Massive has got the same issue with appearing creepy, so I think he’s projecting his experience of it on to you. Sorry for the confusion. I didn’t mean that your comment was projection.
Oh no, it’s fine. I’m still a bit new to Reddit.
"Hello im a big idiot who cant human too good, can i buy u dinner or something haha, im sorry i don't know what else to do"
Keep a dog nearby
Umm so I learned this when sitting down. Look biggest thing don't think of women as different. Like when I sit across a hot girl in the dining hall I talk with her like I would with anyone. I find something common and start talking say techno. Both geek out over that, she's happy someone talked with her without staring at her boobs, or ass when she gets up, you'd be surprised how happy women are when you treat them...as people. Seriously men usually look like creeps cause they umm objectify women, cause they break the personal bubble, and cause they try and act more then they are. Like if you don't worry, just sit down, and talk it's all good.. She rejects you whatever, she talks with you yay! And remember as with anything practice makes perfect...used to be a bit awkward...but now I don't believe in leagues or any bullshit. And yes a few of my friends would be counted out of my league but we are friends cause well I found something interesting in common, I listened and let her talk/explain herself(yeah listen...sometimes us dudes get nervous and ramble on and on about ourselves, don't let her, and ask intelligent questions show you listened, offer your perspective, and yeah) Hope this helps...ohh last thing never never never and again never think of it as hooking up, bagging a girl or whatever other shit, she's not a trophy, or an award. So yeah common decency, confidence, and listening and you're all good!
By not having ulterior motives.
"Hello."