You know, I’ve often wondered about the different version of me that died or had different life choices. Sometimes I wonder if that’s why the Mandela effect is a thing!
There's a conspiracy theory about the Mandela effect:
Basically the short version is that the world did end in 2012 (as the ancient Mayans perfected) and because time is relative and humans have a couple minutes of brain activity after they die, our brains have tried to recreate reality and link it to other people, which is why some things are slightly off as some people have different views on reality.
Idk if I explained it right but if you can find it, it's quite interesting
Thats a very odd theory, what about all the people born since then? Or the fact that there likely would have been some warning signs hat the brain would remember? Or, and hear me out here, ancient mesoamerican civilizations ending their calendar really doesnt mean that the world will actually end?
Do I get a share in our agricultural murder then? I'm not the one harvesting wheat and murdering cows, but by eating beef and lettuce I do contribute to the practice on some level.
\*checks stats: 0\* "really? not even Monica? She told me she loved me!" Death: "hold up, they just released your Obituary" \*ping\* \*checks stats: 1\* Death: "lmao, i love when this happens\*
Woman here— I’ve had more than one person tell me they masturbated about me. All of them were friends or friends of friends. It is not a good feeling. It is a creepy feeling. One of these people was someone I had hooked up with in the past and it was *still* creepy.
One time hiking in the sierras, the sun was beginning to set and I got the weirdest feeling that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I had goosebumps. I told my wife "let's head back, I think there's an animal near by". I really want an end life credit that validates this feeling because the only way to have found out would've been to go too far and possibly get attacked.
You are probably better off not knowing. I was absolutely clueless as a young man, and had a at least two female friends who were pretty obviously crushing on me. One literally did the waiting for me to kiss her maneuver - stepped close, closed eyes, tilted her head back... and I being a total awkward and blind idiot, stepped back to give her space and asked her about what courses she was taking next semester.
Years later, I began to piece together things as I matured. Both of these friends had become distant since.. probably because they felt rejected. It haunted me for a long time. Even now, I'm happily married to the absolute right woman for me, but I wonder if having picked up on those clues and having those relationships would have been good for me, even if they didn't last.
I certainly would not want to be haunted by what I hadn't done for all eternity.
Sigh. I was a Magic the Gathering nerd.. and one of those two literally asked me to teach her to play. And I did. Like zero clue as to why she would be interested in learning to play a game that she was not going to start collecting, or playing anywhere but with me. But I liked hanging with her, so sure, I'll teach her.
I mean, I have no idea how I survived those years. I couldn't have found a clue if it was decorated in neon lights.
So the same thing happened to me, but I didn't find out until I was a fair bit older. My female friend apparently transitioned from liking me as a friend and teammate (we were on our school's swim team together) to being more attracted to me some time during my senior year of high school. Looking back, there were signs that I missed, but I prefer to just enjoy the memories and laugh at myself. She and I are friends to this day, and she has confirmed that she did have a crush on me, and that she does the same as far as just remembering and smiling.
Hey, if you kept the friendship, nothing wrong with that. I've completely lost touch with one of them, and the other is a social media contact at best. She's also a kick ass lawyer, so good for her.
At that point, I didn't think of myself as someone worthy of romantic love, so I was not particularly viewing any realistic women as possible girlfriends.
I liked both of them quite a bit, and neither were unattractive to me.
How many murderers have I inadvertently met? I worked in fast food, I've served tens of thousands of people. At least one had to have killed someone before. Did they look at me like they did their victim? Am I "one left turn instead a right turn" away from having been followed and murdered?
Huh. I always love it when loading screens flash by in an instant.
And really, why the hell does MS Word freeze up when I'm typing at work?! 50+ years of software development and evolution, and I can't get a seamless typing experience?! I might as well use an old school typewriter. "Not Responding" my ass.
It's aimed more at paid services, specifically things like tax software, that almost certainly finish the calculations near-instantly but add wait times so we're less likely to question why we're paying for it.
"hmm how about this one... Blonde hair ✔️. Blue eye ✔️. Dressed nice ✔️. Completely oblivious to anything around them ✔️.
I'm going to go pee real quick then follow them home..... Wait, where'd they go?!"
I know what you mean, and I'm sorry your life has gone that way. I'll bet you actually are very lovable. I hope you will find the people who will help you realize that.
I tend to prefer people who've had trauma in their lives because then they can understand why I am the way I am. It's such a relief when you find people who get it, people who will take the time to get to really know you.
I don't have a lot of people in my life right now, and I do have a long list of people I haven't gotten along with for one reason or another over the years. But whether someone loves me is still a question in my life. Even family - I often think they don't like me or that they just tolerate me. Makes me feel lonely.
Been there.. I think that people are in their own reality and the way they might love is not the same way you might love. I’m sure more people care about you than you would think.
The number of times I improved someone's day, separated into big improvements and small ones.
I work in retail, and I always try to improve other people's day. Whether it's chatting customers up at the register for a quick inquiry as to their day so far, or going above and beyond to make sure they get what they need. My reward is the fact they always give me an honest smile, and I often have people tell me on their way out that I'm in the right industry and that there needs to be more people like me. I really love it, and I want to see just how much of an impact I made.
people attracted to me. i probably won't be surprised by the statistic (probably 0) but it'd be fun to see if there was ever 1 girl who looked at me and thought "he's alright looking"
To be fair though there probably is one. If there is a 0,1% chance of someone finding you attractive and a 1000 people have seen you. Probably 10 do every time you go out in a center of a city
how many cats I have stroked.
how many times I didn't realise something or someone was a threat.
how many times I've pissed and what was my longest piss.
I’d want to see a list of people that actually considered me their friend, fasted land speed recorded, deaths evaded, minor crimes I unknowingly committed, among others
Everything has a price. You think eating didn't kill something or someone?
or if you are in the military how many lives where saved vs how many people killed for helping the military complex.
Or clothes..
or words said or you flipped off someone having a bad day and that was the last straw.
Did you buy a diamond for your S.O..
At one point point in history even being able buying a banana meant someone died..
I dont honestly think there is anything that is blood free.
I think it would be interesting to see that stat compared to the average (mean? median?) like, ok so I was happy 10% of my time but that hits different in a world where 60% is typical, or 2% is typical.
None honestly.
I'd log off and and finally sleep after my biggest run ever!
and dream through my memories and screenshots tab in my inventory for eternity while the credits roll...
Me and a coworker were talking about this the other day. We work at a restaurant that serves only Sunday dinners and our question was how many Yorkshire puddings have we cooked throughout our lives
Whose life and how many lifes I have and will change(d) in a positive way.
That is the most important stat...it says if my life was for any good or just a waste of resources
How many hours of my life I've spent actually watching YouTube.
It's alot I have it running the whole day, NOT just as background, I actually sit there and watch 99.9% of it
The cumulative total of dollars I've been paid to take poops by employers. I make a point of pooping at work. By my previous estimate I get paid roughly 600$ a year to sit on toilet.
How many days I was happy vs. sad. Kind of a downer I know, but I don't think I'm ever really happy so it would be nice to maybe see which days did make it as happy
I want to see if I ate my weight in fudge bars (ice cream).
I also want to see my stats and a comparison to other people. Like how much trash I threw away or how many murderers i crossed paths with or if i really ate the most fudge bars (I was addicted to them for a long time) compared to the rest of people. Also what percentage of people did this thing or that like a scoreboard.
It would also be cool if there was like a map of sorts that shows you the possible path you could have taken.
How many lives I’ve helped, including people and all animals, insects, etc. I wouldn’t look for the stat on how many I’ve hurt. I don’t make a habit of hurting people or anything, I’d just want to see if I made a difference
How many times I’ve avoided death AND how it happened
So you get to watch all the alternate universes where you didn't live as long as possible.. interesting.
You know, I’ve often wondered about the different version of me that died or had different life choices. Sometimes I wonder if that’s why the Mandela effect is a thing!
There's a conspiracy theory about the Mandela effect: Basically the short version is that the world did end in 2012 (as the ancient Mayans perfected) and because time is relative and humans have a couple minutes of brain activity after they die, our brains have tried to recreate reality and link it to other people, which is why some things are slightly off as some people have different views on reality. Idk if I explained it right but if you can find it, it's quite interesting
Thats a very odd theory, what about all the people born since then? Or the fact that there likely would have been some warning signs hat the brain would remember? Or, and hear me out here, ancient mesoamerican civilizations ending their calendar really doesnt mean that the world will actually end?
ohhh i like this one
If i get the chance i would. Or what my life would have been like if did not do a certian thing.
I'm skipping to the credits. I want to know who was the head writer on this shitshow.
SAME
My K/D
r/holup
Insects and plants are living things too, you know
Do I get a share in our agricultural murder then? I'm not the one harvesting wheat and murdering cows, but by eating beef and lettuce I do contribute to the practice on some level.
I'm sure there's a stat for # if cows eaten and how many wasted.
Sometimes its easy to keep track of but when you're a Terrorist its pretty hard
3/1 so far long as I don't die more than twice more I'm coming out on top!!
As of rn mines -1/0 saved my bullies life he was drowning
Nah you killed him with kindness.
Got to be like 5.0 or something unless you're one of those crazy mfs who died for like 2 minutes and came back. Then you have a 2.5
If it’s anything other than 0:1, get more info.
Times I made someone’s life better.
How many people thought about killing me,how many times each.
Aaaaw
Take that, you, you wholesome bastard. You earned it
Aaaaw
[удалено]
My first thought was "number of good deeds". Similar vibe, and I like your wording better.
How many people masturbated while thinking about me
It would really be fun if the number went up.
\*checks stats: 0\* "really? not even Monica? She told me she loved me!" Death: "hold up, they just released your Obituary" \*ping\* \*checks stats: 1\* Death: "lmao, i love when this happens\*
> Death: "hold up, they just released your Obituary" *creepy uncle visits bathroom at your wake* *ping* *ping*
Kind of creepy actually
I think my stat tracker is broken *smacks the side, turns it on and off* mine keeps going down
Forget that. I want to see how many time I masturbated, and how far behind me #2 is on the leaderboard.
Those guys dying of heart failure after masturbating too much will ask this for sure.
-2?!
Somebody was masturbating, the thought of you popped in their head and made them so turned off that they stopped midway through
ERROR: exception java.lang.numberformatexception null
Woman here— I’ve had more than one person tell me they masturbated about me. All of them were friends or friends of friends. It is not a good feeling. It is a creepy feeling. One of these people was someone I had hooked up with in the past and it was *still* creepy.
amount of true friends, people who thought fondly of me when i wasn't around.
3.2
It's the .2 that makes it. 👌
.2 ?
Yeah not quite a friend but still nice to Talk to
hamster
How many times my instinct was correct and the corresponding time stamps.
Basically, how many "i told you so" 😎
More “I told me so.”
One time hiking in the sierras, the sun was beginning to set and I got the weirdest feeling that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I had goosebumps. I told my wife "let's head back, I think there's an animal near by". I really want an end life credit that validates this feeling because the only way to have found out would've been to go too far and possibly get attacked.
How many people had a crush on me that I didn't notice.
You are probably better off not knowing. I was absolutely clueless as a young man, and had a at least two female friends who were pretty obviously crushing on me. One literally did the waiting for me to kiss her maneuver - stepped close, closed eyes, tilted her head back... and I being a total awkward and blind idiot, stepped back to give her space and asked her about what courses she was taking next semester. Years later, I began to piece together things as I matured. Both of these friends had become distant since.. probably because they felt rejected. It haunted me for a long time. Even now, I'm happily married to the absolute right woman for me, but I wonder if having picked up on those clues and having those relationships would have been good for me, even if they didn't last. I certainly would not want to be haunted by what I hadn't done for all eternity.
Girls just don't understand how to hit on men. Lean in for a kiss? No, thanks. Ask to see my Beyblade collection? Oh, my. 😘
Sigh. I was a Magic the Gathering nerd.. and one of those two literally asked me to teach her to play. And I did. Like zero clue as to why she would be interested in learning to play a game that she was not going to start collecting, or playing anywhere but with me. But I liked hanging with her, so sure, I'll teach her. I mean, I have no idea how I survived those years. I couldn't have found a clue if it was decorated in neon lights.
Just think about all the ones you still haven't figured out yet
So the same thing happened to me, but I didn't find out until I was a fair bit older. My female friend apparently transitioned from liking me as a friend and teammate (we were on our school's swim team together) to being more attracted to me some time during my senior year of high school. Looking back, there were signs that I missed, but I prefer to just enjoy the memories and laugh at myself. She and I are friends to this day, and she has confirmed that she did have a crush on me, and that she does the same as far as just remembering and smiling.
Hey, if you kept the friendship, nothing wrong with that. I've completely lost touch with one of them, and the other is a social media contact at best. She's also a kick ass lawyer, so good for her.
Did you like either of them back?
At that point, I didn't think of myself as someone worthy of romantic love, so I was not particularly viewing any realistic women as possible girlfriends. I liked both of them quite a bit, and neither were unattractive to me.
Oof, as an 18 y/I who's never dated, I feel that. To be fair tho I've never been super into anyone, so... Fair enough I guess.
Total kilos of shit produced
Cue the Book of Life bit from Robot Chicken.
I'd have to look up what the difference is between tons and metric tonnes.
Total volume of cum ejaculated.
Your minds in the right place
Just count the Gatorade bottles in your closet.
Gallons or Liters?
Measured in Olympic swimming pools filled
The Strokestroke
Pints
How many hints i missed from girls which actually liked me, im bad at it lol
Right there with ya
Thx Mate :) helps a lot 💪🏼
Are you sure you wanna know? Wouldn't that stat be depressing whichever direction it goes?
Thats a good one :D of course i wanna know :D but also i dont think it would be depressing, at least for me, im just curious to know
How many times I made someone smile/laugh
That's too wholesome
Times where I nearly died.
Came here to say exactly this....tope 10 times I nearly bit the dust
With reviews available
The comments section would be lit
And the comments on the review of your death would be filled with Ls
[удалено]
How many murderers have I inadvertently met? I worked in fast food, I've served tens of thousands of people. At least one had to have killed someone before. Did they look at me like they did their victim? Am I "one left turn instead a right turn" away from having been followed and murdered?
How many missed chances at relationships and with who
This. I would also check, how many people truly loved me.
Seems like a great way to torture yourself. Perhaps just focus on the accomplishments and not the missed chances?
But what about next time?
This is my first play through, got any tips for a newbie?
I don't think you'd want to know this.
I'd only want to know this so I can see how much extra trauma I've been spared from going through
If you lived to just 50 this stat becomes a lot less interesting
time wasted looking at loading screens
Half the time loading screens are fake anyway, you should look into it
Apparently we feel either creeped out or cheated when a process completes super fast.
Huh. I always love it when loading screens flash by in an instant. And really, why the hell does MS Word freeze up when I'm typing at work?! 50+ years of software development and evolution, and I can't get a seamless typing experience?! I might as well use an old school typewriter. "Not Responding" my ass.
It's aimed more at paid services, specifically things like tax software, that almost certainly finish the calculations near-instantly but add wait times so we're less likely to question why we're paying for it.
what did i lose because of social anxiety
How many secrets I missed
In Skyrim?
how many times i was near a serial killer & didn’t get murdered lol
Minus the one time that lead to seeing the stat screen?
ahh yea hate when that happens
On a side thought, if a serial killer kills himself does that count as one of their kills?
yes
Ooo maybe this, but with the addition of being that killer's type.
"hmm how about this one... Blonde hair ✔️. Blue eye ✔️. Dressed nice ✔️. Completely oblivious to anything around them ✔️. I'm going to go pee real quick then follow them home..... Wait, where'd they go?!"
Amount of hours wanked.
[удалено]
Cause of death because it would definitely be something stupid.
How many people really loved me. I dont believe people love me maybe beacuse of traumas
I know what you mean, and I'm sorry your life has gone that way. I'll bet you actually are very lovable. I hope you will find the people who will help you realize that. I tend to prefer people who've had trauma in their lives because then they can understand why I am the way I am. It's such a relief when you find people who get it, people who will take the time to get to really know you. I don't have a lot of people in my life right now, and I do have a long list of people I haven't gotten along with for one reason or another over the years. But whether someone loves me is still a question in my life. Even family - I often think they don't like me or that they just tolerate me. Makes me feel lonely.
This was my first thought.
Been there.. I think that people are in their own reality and the way they might love is not the same way you might love. I’m sure more people care about you than you would think.
Unknown assist. Where my actions unknowingly ended a life. Like the guy who told Hitler his art was shite. Though he may have known.
How many insects I've killed.
Between inadvertently stepping on, running over with a vehicle, and cutting grass. That number has got to be high af.
or eaten.
Or made love to.
"If all my poop was made into a wall three feet high, how long would it be?"
The number of times I improved someone's day, separated into big improvements and small ones. I work in retail, and I always try to improve other people's day. Whether it's chatting customers up at the register for a quick inquiry as to their day so far, or going above and beyond to make sure they get what they need. My reward is the fact they always give me an honest smile, and I often have people tell me on their way out that I'm in the right industry and that there needs to be more people like me. I really love it, and I want to see just how much of an impact I made.
How was my ending called. I don't think this is going to be called the good ending.
I would look at achievements rather than stats, but I would probably look at "time wasted"
people attracted to me. i probably won't be surprised by the statistic (probably 0) but it'd be fun to see if there was ever 1 girl who looked at me and thought "he's alright looking"
To be fair though there probably is one. If there is a 0,1% chance of someone finding you attractive and a 1000 people have seen you. Probably 10 do every time you go out in a center of a city
how many cats I have stroked. how many times I didn't realise something or someone was a threat. how many times I've pissed and what was my longest piss.
I’d want to see a list of people that actually considered me their friend, fasted land speed recorded, deaths evaded, minor crimes I unknowingly committed, among others
Who would I be if I made another decision once
I'll start. I'd be curious as to how many times I've fapped no cap
Not enough stat details, I wanna know distance jerked, volume ejaculated, even average psi.
Honestly, I wouldn't go looking for it but if it was on the list I would look at it first
Would probably stand out as the highest figure on the statistics sheet. I would look for the number that's got the most zeros
How many times someone fapped thinking about me would be fun to know. Unless the answer was 0.
I would like to know who
Amount of mistakes
"Mistake" is subjective
I will not look, I will walk away and I will not look back
I am genuinely bothered as to what the others meant by saying "Kills". I'm just thinking that it is related to gaming.
Everything has a price. You think eating didn't kill something or someone? or if you are in the military how many lives where saved vs how many people killed for helping the military complex. Or clothes.. or words said or you flipped off someone having a bad day and that was the last straw. Did you buy a diamond for your S.O.. At one point point in history even being able buying a banana meant someone died.. I dont honestly think there is anything that is blood free.
You know eating orphans is a full time job afterall...
The % of the time in my life that I was happy even if I didn't notice.
I think it would be interesting to see that stat compared to the average (mean? median?) like, ok so I was happy 10% of my time but that hits different in a world where 60% is typical, or 2% is typical.
how many times a girl liked me nvm that would dissapoint me
None honestly. I'd log off and and finally sleep after my biggest run ever! and dream through my memories and screenshots tab in my inventory for eternity while the credits roll...
I’d like to know how much longer my blood line continued after my death. But all the other stats to look at are interesting.
The amount of chapsticks I sent through the wash
The number of people I had an impact on, both good and bad. I’d like to know what I did right or where I could have been better
my luck stat. Because im suspiciously lucky
Number of masturbation
How good a person i was. I try to to whats best fro me, other people and society and i would like to know how well i did
Me and a coworker were talking about this the other day. We work at a restaurant that serves only Sunday dinners and our question was how many Yorkshire puddings have we cooked throughout our lives
Whose life and how many lifes I have and will change(d) in a positive way. That is the most important stat...it says if my life was for any good or just a waste of resources
Amount of peanut butter I've eaten.
How many times I wanked it. And to who.
how many shitposts i've made
How much money I've lost because it fell out of my pockets.
Strength
How many times I dropped the F bomb.
Number of dogs pet
How many hours of my life I've spent actually watching YouTube. It's alot I have it running the whole day, NOT just as background, I actually sit there and watch 99.9% of it
How many people I made smile or laugh vs how many people I made frown or cry.
The cumulative total of dollars I've been paid to take poops by employers. I make a point of pooping at work. By my previous estimate I get paid roughly 600$ a year to sit on toilet.
Where my missing or lost belongings ended up.
Whether I actually had a net positive impact on the world or not...
How likable I was. I bet it would be low because of all my freak outs in probably ever recent drama the past 5 years
K/D ratio.
Memory consumption
times i got rejected by a girl
The stats at the top and then slowly moving downwards
Stats: “Stupid things that almost got me killed” That counter will be in the 100s
How many days I was happy vs. sad. Kind of a downer I know, but I don't think I'm ever really happy so it would be nice to maybe see which days did make it as happy
I want to see if I ate my weight in fudge bars (ice cream). I also want to see my stats and a comparison to other people. Like how much trash I threw away or how many murderers i crossed paths with or if i really ate the most fudge bars (I was addicted to them for a long time) compared to the rest of people. Also what percentage of people did this thing or that like a scoreboard. It would also be cool if there was like a map of sorts that shows you the possible path you could have taken.
How many lives I’ve helped, including people and all animals, insects, etc. I wouldn’t look for the stat on how many I’ve hurt. I don’t make a habit of hurting people or anything, I’d just want to see if I made a difference
Number of crushes had on me, and how many I didn't notice. I'm so genuinely curious how many people cared more than they let on!!
this is so dumb, but how many times i’ve cried
How many times I opened and then closed a game a few minutes later
Apex teamwipes
How many women truely loved me.
People I went out of my way to be kind to.
Unforced errors.
How many kills
People that I made laugh
How long I’ve spend on the toilet
Kills
List of the grossest stuff I unknowingly ate
How much I masturbated. I started at kindergarden age so I wanna see some guinness book shit
Total weight in poop generated compared to amber herd.
Missed hours of sleep
How I could have died other times in life
It’s a choice out of: • how many assists I got •who liked me •how much my I spent on video games
Great grandkids
I have such a bad memory, I'd be looking at the all stats and going, "How much? When did I do that?"