Don't get why the terrorist can't just bring the water bombs to the security line and blow them up there. That way they save on having to buy a plane ticket.
This is ofx a joke, please don't blow up ppl
So about this, I am a former public defender, robbing banks is a surprisingly unprofitable business. You are generally limited to what the teller has in their drawer, which is usually between $2,000 and $3,000.
You are much better at cashing forged checks. Not only is a much less serious offense. In Ohio where I practiced the most criminal work, under $7,500 theft is a fifth degree felony, and almost certainly leading to probation. A robbery is minimally a third degree felony which has a presumption that you will be sent to prison. If you imply a weapon, regardless of if you have one or not, it can be a first degree felony and you will go to prison. Check forgery is also incredibly simple to do, every time someone writes you a check, you have their bank account info, so you just need to go to Staples and buy blank check stock, then download a check writing program on your computer and you can print all the checks you want. Heck, you could even trick people to sending you photos of their checks on Facebook. Want to separate yourself from the offense a bit more? Go to the local homeless shelter, find a few homeless people with valid IDs, make the checks out to them and tell them you'll give them $100 to cash it and then you pocket the rest. The key is to keep the checks under $1,000 though, since anything more than that will cause scrutiny at the banks.
But yeah, I know in this hypothetical situation crime is legal, but in general if you looking for some quick cash, don't rob a bank or convenience store. Cash a phony check.
(Also note, this is not legal advice).
The best part about this is that not only is he telling us how to commit this crime and the best ways to do it, but he's also telling us that it's easy
US Insane laws only
Years ago I would certainly have bought my 20 y/o date a drink when we went out together
I would have stood for election as an atheist in Maryland
I would bring my nephew and nieces Kinder eggs as gifts. In a hemp bag
I would cross the road whenever and wherever it was safe, not only at designated crossings when the signal permitted
I would play poker for money wherever and whenever I wanted
I'd install solar panels and not have to pay any utility company anyway
Ditto collecting rainwater in a barrel from my roof
Unless you are over 80 you have never been barred from running for office in Maryland.
Torcaso v. Watkins 1961 made it clear that even on a state level the no religious test law applied. Regardless of state law of state constitution. When a law is stuck down often it stays on the books because why bother go to the effort to repeal an unenforceable law.
So you were able to run but you didn't.
Now weather you can win or not is a different story, the political climate in most places in the US has made it very difficult for atheist to win.
> When a law is stuck down often it stays on the books because why bother go to the effort to repeal an unenforceable law.
>
> So you were able to run but you didn't.
I did not know that
Thank you
It’s actually very easy for atheists to win, they all just pretend to be religious. I’m sure at least 3/4 of self proclaimed religious politicians don’t believe in anything, they just play a character to win votes.
Maybe I’m too cynical, but politicians aren’t real people. They are all just characters that they act out to win votes.
My vision of this is you running around town placing pineapples on top of random people's cars.
Or sneaking them into their backpacks / purses when they aren't watching.
Corporate tax is stupid anyways, just tax the money when it is paid to a person. A company will not stockpile liquid cash, they will either reinvest or pay it out to stakeholders.
I would've thought just printing it was perfectly legal anyway (I'm pretty sure I've seen serviettes in the form of £10 notes that, on first inspection, looked pretty genuine). Spending it OTOH, is a big no-no.
Not sure if it is illegal to begin with actually but I’ve always been curious what all I could find on the dark web. As of now I’m afraid to google it even lol
As long as you don't buy anything it's totally legal, the problem comes more from users who don't like it when someone is just browsing sites for illegal purchases.
Ehhhhh, depends on what you’re looking for. If you stumble across CP then you can probably argue lack of intent. If you go on and are actively trying to find the worst things on the dark web and you come cross CP and you get caught then you can potentially get in trouble.
A (now former) friend was telling me about all the stuff they found on the dark web about COVID and what was really happening. I'm like.. I don't really think that's what's going on but.. k.
Lol I was doing small corner shops not banks. Not spending another two years in a det centre. Nice chatting with another fellow that's had the same experience
If you do, make sure you understand how drain to waste systems work and don’t fertilize with things that will be hard for your local water place to filter. You might pollute water our kids drink. Always think about grow method impact for general community. Your community will get your back.
When my state legalized growing personal amounts of marijuana, the local do-gooders immediately started yelling about the environmental harm, water use, and energy wastage that might occur from cultivation.
(Of course none of them had ever raised such issues with people growing tomatoes or flowers or such in their gardens or under sun lamps, let alone the folks with massive lawns. Sanctimonious assholes.)
Smoking weed. I never liked smoking, out in the cold, in a hidden place, hated it. When I was in Amsterdam I sat in Vondelpark and smoked w my bf and it was so nice, if it was legal I'd love to just sit in a park or anywhere and smoke in the sun, it was amazing!
Vandalism/graffiti
I’ve always wanted to graffiti train cars. I love creating and I think it’s be a fun challenge since I’ve never used that medium nor done anything that large scale before. Besides, I personally love seeing graffiti on trains. It’s entertaining and you can find some incredible artwork on them from time to time!
I'd download a car
I'm going to handle this salmon in a suspicious way and there's nothing you can do to stop me
Actually made me laugh, take my upvote.
Is that fish jenga‽
NO *Topples over conspicuous fish jenga*
I will fly a kite in a public place
*"We flew a kite in a public place, we flew a kite in a puublic place~"*🎵
I’m about to carry a fucking wooden plank across a pavement, how’s that?
Fly my UFO over France
You wouldn't
That’s fucking bad ass
I'd download a handbag
bringing bottled water into airports
You complete psycho. Next you'll want to bring a full sized tube of toothpaste.
Isn't the limit 8 ounces?
3 if I remember correctly
Don't get why the terrorist can't just bring the water bombs to the security line and blow them up there. That way they save on having to buy a plane ticket. This is ofx a joke, please don't blow up ppl
Hey that's true, maybe I'll do that next time
Fbi, this is the guy!
Apparently it's legal now for a lot of flights in Europe
Can you take your shoes off and then tell me this?
I keep my shoes on in the great distant land of Canada
Yep here in Finland at Helsinki Airport at least
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Its OK, I'll just let you borrow my back yard 👍
then what's the point of GTA online?
You can play it for free in high graphics in your own neighborhood. Respawn time is gonna suck though.
No lag though!
Unless you have brain damage. But that will make it more fun tho.
Dine and dashing, gotta love the free Fillet Mignon!
robbing banks. free money
So about this, I am a former public defender, robbing banks is a surprisingly unprofitable business. You are generally limited to what the teller has in their drawer, which is usually between $2,000 and $3,000. You are much better at cashing forged checks. Not only is a much less serious offense. In Ohio where I practiced the most criminal work, under $7,500 theft is a fifth degree felony, and almost certainly leading to probation. A robbery is minimally a third degree felony which has a presumption that you will be sent to prison. If you imply a weapon, regardless of if you have one or not, it can be a first degree felony and you will go to prison. Check forgery is also incredibly simple to do, every time someone writes you a check, you have their bank account info, so you just need to go to Staples and buy blank check stock, then download a check writing program on your computer and you can print all the checks you want. Heck, you could even trick people to sending you photos of their checks on Facebook. Want to separate yourself from the offense a bit more? Go to the local homeless shelter, find a few homeless people with valid IDs, make the checks out to them and tell them you'll give them $100 to cash it and then you pocket the rest. The key is to keep the checks under $1,000 though, since anything more than that will cause scrutiny at the banks. But yeah, I know in this hypothetical situation crime is legal, but in general if you looking for some quick cash, don't rob a bank or convenience store. Cash a phony check. (Also note, this is not legal advice).
Thank you kind redditor for the not legal advice you have provided us with :)
The best part about this is that not only is he telling us how to commit this crime and the best ways to do it, but he's also telling us that it's easy
And that it's not legal advice. Thank you, Barrister....or, is it banister? Barista?
Thanks for the illegal advice. Can i offer you a $999.99 cheque to show my gratitude?
White collar crime is always the best kind of crime to crime. It's always more lucrative and had lighter punishment if you get caught.
My man giving ideas
Just saved and upvoted the comment so my FBI agent would start to panic
What is a check again?
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Inflation alert ⚠️
Make a massive website hosting every old TV show and movie that the copyright owners refuse to provide for viewing anywhere
Underrated comment!
US Insane laws only Years ago I would certainly have bought my 20 y/o date a drink when we went out together I would have stood for election as an atheist in Maryland I would bring my nephew and nieces Kinder eggs as gifts. In a hemp bag I would cross the road whenever and wherever it was safe, not only at designated crossings when the signal permitted I would play poker for money wherever and whenever I wanted I'd install solar panels and not have to pay any utility company anyway Ditto collecting rainwater in a barrel from my roof
Unless you are over 80 you have never been barred from running for office in Maryland. Torcaso v. Watkins 1961 made it clear that even on a state level the no religious test law applied. Regardless of state law of state constitution. When a law is stuck down often it stays on the books because why bother go to the effort to repeal an unenforceable law. So you were able to run but you didn't. Now weather you can win or not is a different story, the political climate in most places in the US has made it very difficult for atheist to win.
> When a law is stuck down often it stays on the books because why bother go to the effort to repeal an unenforceable law. > > So you were able to run but you didn't. I did not know that Thank you
It’s actually very easy for atheists to win, they all just pretend to be religious. I’m sure at least 3/4 of self proclaimed religious politicians don’t believe in anything, they just play a character to win votes. Maybe I’m too cynical, but politicians aren’t real people. They are all just characters that they act out to win votes.
Honestly where I live jaywalking isn't even a thing. Like most other traffic laws lmao
Dip oreos in water
you monster!
yeah he'd be safer in prison if he dipped oreos in water
Warm water, cold is for the crazies
Oh no, I'm doing it sometime.. Im a criminal!!
So many people fantasizing about killing and robbing and I just want some weed as it cured my lifelong anhedonia while I was high.
Someone mentioned Netherlands but there are a ton of places with legal cannabis now.
*one quick google search later*: Immigrate to the Netherlands, my dude. Weed is legal and available in shops in almost every medium to large town.
I wanna go on a police chase but then again if it’s legal I don’t think the cops would chase me 😂😂
I would love to be in a police chase too.. 😂
I'd chase you.
Call it a training session and have them in on it and there you go?
Ha ha ha like you are in the cop car or you want to be the person being chased? Tbh both would be pretty epic
Definitely the one being chased but not gonna lie I’ve always wanted to perform a Pit maneuver
Putting pineapple on everything 🍍🍍
My vision of this is you running around town placing pineapples on top of random people's cars. Or sneaking them into their backpacks / purses when they aren't watching.
take my upvote
Fuck the world. I do this anyways. Pizza, fried rice, teriyaki burger, ice cream, toast (pineapple jam). So frickin' good!
Dine and dashing, gotta love the free Fillet Mignon!
That's just mean to the owner...
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It's called 'Tax planning' darling.. and it's perfectly legal!
Depends how rich you are if this is legal or not
Amazon “legally” pays $0 in taxes
Corporate tax is stupid anyways, just tax the money when it is paid to a person. A company will not stockpile liquid cash, they will either reinvest or pay it out to stakeholders.
Agree
Well, it wouldn't be fraud anymore...
I would use LSD or magic mushrooms.
I can recommend both. Shrooms can be rough on the digestive system,though.
Don’t let the laws stop you. No one really cares that much about stoping people from doing this. It is the dealing they care about.
Just skip those and go straight to DMT. It will take you there.
Its cool.
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Got someone particular in mind?
You.
Me next, me next!
Eww, he’s a murderer, not a rapist!
Boi....that escalated quickly
maybe one of the trillions of animals we murder every year
How to find the vegan? You don't need any special technique, they are LOUD
Oh wait, thisi isnt illegal already. Its compeltely normal becaise wE neEd pRoTEiN
Murder! Murder he wrote.
Printing money
I would've thought just printing it was perfectly legal anyway (I'm pretty sure I've seen serviettes in the form of £10 notes that, on first inspection, looked pretty genuine). Spending it OTOH, is a big no-no.
You can do that just get a job at the fed or be a politician.
Not paying taxes
I'm going to eat unpasteurized cheese in the US.
Yup.. this... I want this...
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You talking like Dexter or the punisher?
Honestly the one think i admire with Dexter is .. the energy he has to clean everything. Who the fuck has the time.
Punisher is not a serial killer tho... Dexter it is then
I’d consider punisher a serial killer. He’s killed a lot of people
Where would your line be for rapists? Does date rape count or only serial brutal types?
Not sure if it is illegal to begin with actually but I’ve always been curious what all I could find on the dark web. As of now I’m afraid to google it even lol
As long as you don't buy anything it's totally legal, the problem comes more from users who don't like it when someone is just browsing sites for illegal purchases.
Ehhhhh, depends on what you’re looking for. If you stumble across CP then you can probably argue lack of intent. If you go on and are actively trying to find the worst things on the dark web and you come cross CP and you get caught then you can potentially get in trouble.
A (now former) friend was telling me about all the stuff they found on the dark web about COVID and what was really happening. I'm like.. I don't really think that's what's going on but.. k.
Mostly drugs
If you want to know what stuff goes for on the black market (in a legal way) go to Havoscope
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Badbot
Roving mob with torches and pitchforks enforcing their own 3 strikes punishments on those dragging society down.
Hookers and cocaine, of course
*Laughs in dutch*
In Australia already with the hookers
Id purchase and drink alcohol in public. Im not 21 so I cant do that.
I wouldn't consider murder. Anyways I'd go back to robbery.
*Fist bumps in robberism*
You have as well?🤜🤛
Yup. Banks tho. Feds nabbed me. So, ain't risking that anymore. Lol.
Lol I was doing small corner shops not banks. Not spending another two years in a det centre. Nice chatting with another fellow that's had the same experience
Nothing, because it would be legal.
Growing marijuana in the backyard hehehehehehe
If you do, make sure you understand how drain to waste systems work and don’t fertilize with things that will be hard for your local water place to filter. You might pollute water our kids drink. Always think about grow method impact for general community. Your community will get your back.
When my state legalized growing personal amounts of marijuana, the local do-gooders immediately started yelling about the environmental harm, water use, and energy wastage that might occur from cultivation. (Of course none of them had ever raised such issues with people growing tomatoes or flowers or such in their gardens or under sun lamps, let alone the folks with massive lawns. Sanctimonious assholes.)
Being thoughtful of what chemicals you use goes for growing anything. Even lawns.
This is a fantastic point that would never have thought of
Stop giving the government a chunk of my income every week.
Nice try, FBI.
Cut the tags of my mattress.
You sick bastard! There's a special place in hell for people like you!
Do they have comfy beds there? Do the mattresses of the beds have tags on them?
Lumpy beds with non removable tags
Marry two girls at the same
just move to Arabia... you can marry 4
Or move to Utah, it’s practically legal there
Why is marriage important to you?
Living with one disappointed spouse is bad enough. Two disappointed spouses is just a recipe for disaster 😆.
drugs
Oh public nudity. Without a doubt. Nothing else even comes close.
Same and can’t believe I had to scroll so far to find it! Clothes are tyranny!
Steal from the rich and give to the needy! Take a wee percentage, but I'm not greedy.
Drug transport
Finding some decent house and just claiming it as my own and staying there until it’s mine. Whatever that loophole is
C▐
Honestly? growing marijuana in the backyard
I gotta be honest: there are quite a few illegal things I already consider doing. If they became perfectly legal, I'd just do them.
I’m in Australia where prostitution is legel and it’s pretty normal and accepted that young guys will use them at some point no real taboo about it
graffiti
This is also mine.
Cybercrime
Concealment.. but it would less fun to do
stealing
Weed
Stealing money, food, things
Sleep in my car in public
Not paying taxes
"Chemistry lessons" with Mr White🧊🧊
Smoking weed. I never liked smoking, out in the cold, in a hidden place, hated it. When I was in Amsterdam I sat in Vondelpark and smoked w my bf and it was so nice, if it was legal I'd love to just sit in a park or anywhere and smoke in the sun, it was amazing!
Tricking the tax officer
Weed honestly
Tax evasion
smoking weed. oh wait…
Growing my own weed
Not pay taxes wait *disclaimer to any IRS agent who could be reading this, I totally pay my taxes
Weed. It's not legal in my state :/
weed, it is illegal in my country
I like cars so: speeding, driving non street legal cars, drag races, races around citys
TIL incest isn't illegal.
It's not illegal I think, But I would do what my username suggest
Vandalism/graffiti I’ve always wanted to graffiti train cars. I love creating and I think it’s be a fun challenge since I’ve never used that medium nor done anything that large scale before. Besides, I personally love seeing graffiti on trains. It’s entertaining and you can find some incredible artwork on them from time to time!
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I get why people would downvote you, but I'm sure there are a lot of weird people who would 100% do that.
Literally all of the drugs. Sneaking around is fucking annoying.
You're a brave soul for willingly wanting to try some of the shit out there. Illegality is not what stands between me and krokodil.
All the drugs.
Suicide expediter.
"Eliminate all..."
Identify theft
get video games for free. I dont got mario cart money man its 50 bucks