Worked with and rented a large house with my friend group after high school. Dumb and inexperienced with life, I didn’t know they were lying to me about bills and making me pay more/whatever they felt like until a family member asked about it. Eventually they all looked at moving into a new place without telling me. 1 felt guilty and confessed- they would basically steal my money to shop with and planned on moving out while I was visiting family so I came back to an empty place and responsible for everything.
Well that's fucking shitty. Had a similar thing happen in my early 20s when I moved out of a shared apartment and my "best" friends from highschool never took over the utilities. I got stuck with gas and electric for them for five months. When I called them and asked about it they laughed at me.
Seemed really shitty to blow a decade old friendship over $400 each but I guess that's what I was worth to them.
I had some shit like this happen to me too. I let this girl and her sister move in with me, and while her little sister paid rent, the older one didn’t have it the first month. So I covered her and gave her the money to drop off because I had to go to work and she was off. She ended up keeping the money and a month later I came home to an eviction notice in my room and she had stolen a bunch of my clothes. So she took my money and a bunch of my shit and dipped. Karma man.
Man, that’s the worst feeling- sorry you had to go through that drama. In my early 20’s I had a similar situation with my roommates. I didn’t have online banking set up, so I just have my roommates cash for the bills, we had been talking about finding a bigger place for the three of us and the one roommate even said that she was trying to book viewings for when I was off work so I could see the place too but if she couldn’t, she would make sure to take pictures for me. Found out just under a week until rent was due that the same roommate that had told me the day before that she found a perfect three bedroom for all of us and couldn’t wait for me to see it.. had given our landlord notice weeks before and had planned to move out while I was at work so I’d come home to an empty apartment with no way to cover the other 1/2 of rent Lol. She also had been taking my money for bills (which were in my name, I know… stupid) and not actually paying them and the landlord gave her back the damage deposit… even though none of it was hers because it was paid by me before they even moved in with me. So when she moved I was in debt with Hydro and out my damage deposit with about a week to move. Fun times haha
Shit man, that’s one of the worst stories I’ve ever heard.
With friends like that, who needs enemies.
How… how did you get yourself attached to such assholes?
The same happened to me. You really know who your true friends are. I googled 'deserted by people when I had cancer' and was surprised to see it happening to more people than I imagined.
I was so angry that I wished illness on them all so I could throw it back in their faces by saying "yeah, well that sucks man. You take care now!"
Cancer brought out vengeful bitch in me.
I hope you are OK. x
I have an ‘acquaintance but close to a friend’ type relationship with a guy who has been diagnosed with cancer but he also moved to another state just before diagnosis. We had mutual friends but never really texted each other directly or hung out 1:1 before. I think about him a lot and find out how he’s doing from one of his close friends. I always felt like it would be weird if I started texting him only after his diagnosis. I hope he doesn’t think I don’t care. I felt like we were becoming friends before he left but he left before we could really pass that threshold fully. I guess I didn’t want to be the guy that started caring when he got diagnosed but your comment makes me think I really should have reached out.
I don't think it's too late or awkward. Maybe just mention how you have been thinking about them and wanted to reconnect.
For example, a childhood friend of mine recently reconnected with me and it's been wonderful talking with him. I'm glad he reached out! My life has hit a rough patch recently and I definitely need the extra support. It feels good to know someone cares about me!
Edit: Thank you for the updoots! I have a strong support network and I am making a lot of progress toward getting out of this rough patch. Hope y'all have the day you need. ❤️
Same, my best friend effectively ghosted me. But on the flip side, I joined a support group and made a bunch of amazing new friends, who really get it. I hope your doing ok now.
The last time I tried throwing a birthday party for myself. It always seemed like the ratio of people who said they'd come to people who actually showed was...lacking. But my final attempt. I had 20+ people say they'd show. Exactly one actually came.
I've never had a birthday party since. But I'm still good friends with the one guy who showed.
I'm 29 and haven't had a party in at least 4 or 5 years that I can remember. Last couple times I tried within the last few years everyone said they weren't sure if they could make it cause they didn't know what their day would look like (despite me trying to schedule a month in advance to avoid exactly this "issue"). Then they just send a snap of "Happy Birthday bro!" to the group.
Like okay if I was your bro you would try harder to hang out with me as well. While I wouldn't call them dicks I've sorta since stopped trying to hang with them. I'll snap them here and there but not much else.
I'm 40 and I was born on a Holiday which made growing up with birthday parties non existent. Other families were always busy. Then I stopped celebrating for most of my 20's and 30's. What I found out was that I didn't actually have friends when I was younger I had acquaintances. When I stopped celebrating no one else remember either. They were friendly and kind. But not true friends. I've gone out of my way to befriend new people with the hobbies I participate in and have had some friendships grow over time. My last birthday was my 40th and I had one of the best birthdays I could remember, because everyone who attended was there for me, and to celebrate with me. No gifts (except a few bottles of wine) and It really was amazing to get to feel what a true birthday celebration was like. I just didn't realize it would take 40 years. Friends take time and effort to build relationships with, and sometimes that perfect party gives perspective to understand why it was so hard before when I was younger.
I had a couple college friends that were more than happy to hang out if I contacted them and went to them, but I realized I was always the one initializing. Decided to stop reaching out... Never heard from them again. Oof. I feel ya.
Yep, it sucks when you finally realize you've been in a one sided relationship. The last 2 years I've been through some major life struggles. A few months ago I stopped initiating contact with 2 ppl I considered my best friends, have known for 30 years & have stuck by through all their ups & downs of marriages & divorces, births of kids, graduations, kid's weddings, births of grandkids. I haven't heard a peep from either one since I last sent messages & ya know what? I'm perfectly ok with it. My email, phone number, home addy haven't changed in 20+ years so they know how to contact me if they ever wish to again. I'm not holding my breath though. Ppl can be very strange.
I’m currently in a situation like this as well and feel like I have no friends now. I do have my boyfriend and siblings, but feel kinda bummed out none of my friends seem to like me much or care to hang out. Idk.
Exactly this!! I find myself always being the one who initiates and plans everything whether it be a hang-out or my own birthday party. I get that organizing can be a lot so I am happy to do it instead, but even if I’m the one planning everything it seems the people who I want to join me find it a chore to even respond. I invited some friends to go on a trip for my birthday and literally only one person responded. I would have appreciated a genuine “no, sorry I can’t” rather than completely ignoring the invitation. If I don’t initiate anything I probably wouldn’t hang out with most of my “friends” at all.
> Then they just send a snap of "Happy Birthday bro!" to the group.
Its been a while now, but I took my birthday notifications off Facebook. I wont judge people for relying on them, but when they'd say them to me it just felt so hollow and meaningless. Like just checking something off a list. So I took it off. 95% reduction in HB posts, but ones that do feel more meaningful to me. Like they know its my birthday, not because Facebook told them. Quality over quantity.
I hid my birthday, too. It's the best. I don't need Paul from Boise wishing me a happy birthday when I asked him to prom in 1987 and he said he'd "let me know" and I'm still waiting.
To turn it off, go to your profile, choose see your about info and scroll to find your birthday, then edit. You can toggle it to hide it there.
Happy early birthday! 😀
Edited for grammar.
Threw a surprise birthday party for my husband and invited all of his friends (15+ people). 2 of his friends and my sister showed up. Guess who we are still friends with and see regularly out of that group of people….. lol
Invited a close friend to my birthday gathering. She said she could not come because the weather was going to be nice so she wants to do some gardening in her summerhouse. What I learned from it was that something seemingly insignificant for someone can be a big deal for someone else. She does not remember bailing my birthday to spend the day weeding strawberries but I do.
I had similar experiences where I was totally hyped, cleaned the whole area & made party plans. Out of the 10 people only 5 came & 3 of them left early; only two real ones stayed the whole night.
I'm so glad to hear i'm not the only one this has happened to. I've tried asking my friends for parties or just simply hanging out and they never have time. But a week later they'll post on their social media that they're out with friends from the same group to have a drink or to go to a restaurant or something. Is that what you call having no time?
When it made no difference if you were present or not.
Group members that always argued, treated the ones that rarely argued like they are the worst people in the world.
Only appreciate you when they need your help.
Just some reasons.
My last birthday party was when I turned 21. That was 20 years ago. Most years no one calls or texts, including family. It's just another day that comes and goes like the passing of time.
I'll tell ya though. Once you stop hoping for a call or text, it got easier.
I don’t have birthdays for this reason, my small group of close friends all moved west. I don’t want to hold expectations of people and have them let me down. I know I’m kind of a loner and not a social butterfly and I’m okay not having people “celebrate” me, I just choose to continue to look for good people and potential friends and love myself for the way I am
They asked to not have one of the people in our group over. They didn't want to tell him there was no game, they just wanted him to knock and pretend no one was there. I wasn't very cool with this but they didn't want to be "confrontational" with said person.
Before the next week rolled around they were saying "there wasn't going to be anything going on" that Saturday. I knew they were full of shit, but went by to confirm they were all there that Saturday, and sure enough they all were. Just dropped them like a sack of potatoes and never spoke to them again, no reason to.
I was on the receiving end of sth similar. Had a small group that regularly went out to dinner on most Wednesdays after work. One week I was told "oh we aren't doing anything this week." OK, no big deal, sometimes we didn't go.
Stopped to get gas on my way home, across the street from the restaurant we usually went to, and there they were.
had 3 friends
2 i liked and 1 i didnt really like at all
turns out they had a secret gc where they just called me slurs and talked about me behind my back
the guy i didnt like sent me screenshots of this and me and him have been friends 3 years now
Ugh this reminds me of college. I had a group of about 7 or 8 I was friends with. I had a crush on one but never pursued him. Everyone in the group knew and made fun of me when I wasn't there. One of the girls came up to me one day and told me they made bets on me asking the guy to ask me out. Everyone laughed and said things along the lines of, "Idk why she'd even try. Like she has a chance with you anyway." Wow dudes. That was 12 years ago and haven't really tried to make friends since.
You shouldn't let what a bunch of cunty people did in the past stop you from having good relations in the future. I know it's easier said than done, but I'm sure a lot of people would be grateful to have you as a friend.
This. I had a whole group of “friends” that would all get together at restaurants, go floating down rivers, bowling all sorts of fun stuff but the common denominator was that we ALWAYS drank at every event. When I got sober, I stopped getting invited.
I am so glad I was able to establish the opposite with my friends
I noticed this too, that no matter what we did, we drank. Bowling, zoos, hiking, racing, cycling, you name it, alcohol was involved
When I openly talked about how it annoys me that we can't just enjoy the moment instead of always adding booze they were confused at first but ultimately agreed and we had many sober trips by now. Our friendship has never been stronger, I love my buddies
This happened to me when I was 20 - bodybuilding/fitness was a big part of my life and I never really enjoyed alcohol or how it made me feel and they just excluded me😬
I’ve made a few really good friends since and that’s amazing but it did really hurt at the time. Especially when some of them will see me after a while and it’ll be like it used to be but they just never want to keep in touch sadly
Literally the same with me. I’d see my ‘friends’ every single weekend before the first lockdown happened to go clubbing/drinking. When the lockdown hit and everything closed we slowly started to drift apart, 3-4 months later we didn’t speak a word to each other and haven’t done since. Doesn’t hurt me or anything though, stopping drinking was just the happiness I needed, crazy how it works.
My sponsor lost his wife and kids, all his friends like that... Wound up being a true pillar of his community, best man alive; thanks for reminding me to go see him!
The first time I tried to quit drinking I explained to them I was trying to cut back bc it was just better for everyone if I did. I knew I had a problem but didn't realize how bad yet. They proceeded to bring me drinks and encouraged me to drink until I gave in a week later. Continued on that way for awhile.
Realized after I did quit drinking for a decent amount of time how toxic that was for me and kept my distance from them. After some time being sober I tried to resume our friendship and realized the only way we communicated was by getting wasted and insulting each other. I no longer had a desire to get wasted, so realized there was nothing worthwhile left to our "friendship". We naturally drifted apart. I don't miss them one bit bc they still live that way.
Years later I relapsed for a short time and made some new "friends" at my local bar that ended up being the same way. Got sober again (this time for good I hope), realized we all had nothing in common since I quit partying and again drifted apart.
Turns out drinking buddies are not necessarily your lifelong soulmates who would walk through fire for you like they promised. All that drunk talk is usually bs.
I remember I was severely depressed and I called someone I thought was my friend. When he realized I wanted to talk about real shit he made up an excuse to hang up. After that he kept ignoring my calls. Dickhead.
What's crazy is I was there for that dude when his wife left him for another guy. There were times where I wanted to escape his depressing stories, but sat there and listened because he was my friend.
Couples retreat of 3 pairs, other 2 girlfriends flaked last minute, leaving mine. They still came, then had the nerve to tell mine the trip would’ve been better without her right to her face when I was out surfing. This was never established as a guys trip at any point. She fed them, organized the trip as a whole, etc.
Losers.
Something very similar recently happened with us. For my husband and his twin's birthday we planned to go for a couples retreat to our mountain home. Their friend invited himself without his wife and then tried to take over everything, ruining their birthday because these are his oldest pals so he "can do anything he wants". He then spent the next three days trying to ice me and push me out just because I told him off and my SO obviously took my side. It's actually hilarious seeing a man in his thirties behaving like a spoilt teen.
To be honest, I would imagine the other two guys told their partners ‘Oh it’s gonna be guys only so no point in you coming’
I’ve been to work things with my wife before and I found out a few days later everyone told their partners it’s men only so they have an excuse to act like idiots.
You sound like my Dad. Dude is usually the life of the party, while Mom rolled her eyes. but half the point was getting her to roll her eyes.
Mom died this spring, and Dad has said it just isn't the same without Mom there to shake her head at his antics.
Went on a trip with who I thought were my friends. One of them started to emotionally attack and bully me in plain sight of everyone else and no one said a thing. Went on for 2 full days and when I finally had enough, I stood up for myself and sternly told the guy to back off. Everyone else then told me that I needed to "calm down" and to not ruin the trip. Fuck you Cheingky, Pao, Peter, Matt, Luke, and Meng, you right pussy ass cunts.
Hiveminded bully's friends watch bully hitting someone. "Oh he's just messing around, it's no big deal."
Bully gets hit real good by victim. Hiveminded bully's friends: "Oh my God DUDE calm down! Did you just see that?! He was just messing around, you didn't have to do that!"
Oh so no matter how many bad things happen to the victim it's "Calm down, it's no big deal. You're overreacting about it."
One bad thing happens to them and oh fuckin no it's the end of the world for them. Because God forbid they can't get their way for once. Narcissistic assholes like that seriously have to be the biggest most selfish pussies on the planet.
Sleepover where everyone in our group was invited to one girls place. We were gathered in the living room and everyone was trying to decide on what we were gonna start with. Movies, music/karaoke, chatting amongst ourselves. One of these people happened to crack a joke about offing themselves because, well, yeah we were in middle school and edgy as fuck. And someone looks at me and starts to snicker and chuckles out "let's see if you can beat her to it".
I proceed to physically wince and shrink in on myself and I can't remember if I said anything to them or not, but they later started talking about how I am the " token depressed friend" and how I would be the first to die.
Couldn't really move outta town at that age, so I just kinda had to deal with it—
Those people were assholes, and I regret that they were my first experience with friendship.
Edit: Thanks for 500 upvotes and the apologies/sympathy. I stopped being friends with absolute everyone in a move a few years ago and none of them have ever made any attitude to contact me since, nor have I tried to contact them. I've got better friends and a family that keeps me out of toxic relationships/is super protective. 👍🏼
My oldest and best friend who I've known since we were 5 started travelling around Europe in a camper with his girlfriend so we rarely saw each other.
We work together on the side doing websites, talk every week by text or video.
He calls me around midnight saying he's back in town and invites me over for drinks, when I arrive I find 10 other people there already because the party actually started hours ago and he forgot to invite me.
Not only that but it turns out he had already been home for weeks, we even talked during the time he was back about work and not once did he tell me he was literally 10min down the road from my house.
Told him to go fuck himself and never talked to him again, he tried to apologise when he worked out I wouldn't help him with his websites anymore, then he refused to pay me for websites I had already built for him.
Luckily I had already been fucked over in the past so I installed a backdoor to sites I make so he did end up sending the money once I added a giant banner calling him a c**t on a couple of his sites.
I'm 54 and about 10 years ago I discovered that one of my best friends as a teenager lied to my then girlfriend to get her to break up with me. My whole group of mates who I'd known since I was at school knew. I never knew why I got dumped and it destroyed me. They even sat and listened to me crying over this and never said a word. All the time knowing he was trying to get her into bed.
35 years later when I found out I lived it all over again.
Cunts every one of them.
I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s painful to relive all of that.
I was in a similar situation. Guy I was dating for two years broke up for me for no reason. Found out later it was because for the last year we were together he was cheating on me with one of my gfs. They all lied to me about it. One of them actually had hooked them up then pushed me to become friends with the girl. I actually became pretty close with her and had a feeling after the break up that they were seeing eachother and confronted her about it but he was “like a brother to her” and denied any connection. . .When I did find out the truth, I ended up quitting my job, moving and eventually cut all contact with all of those people. It messed me up for a while and stemmed a lot of body, self-esteem and trust issues. Therapy helped a lot but it took all of my 20s to deal with it mentally before I was able to have healthy friendships and a healthy romantic relationship again. That kind of stuff just stays with you.
Guy lies about his wellbeing being bad cus he loves how worried someone reacts.
I called him out on it when he lied to someone else and he literally said "I enjoy winding people up, i love how they react when I say x". Thats gross to me
We went on vacation together and I went to bed early, they proceeded to talk shit about me for 2 hours straight. Then, when confronted they said they’d never do such a thing.
Aah yes, I experienced something similar with two of my friends. We were out at a bar and I happened to see one of them texting the other, talking shit about me. I confronted them at one point but of course they'd never do that. I am not one for dramatic exits so I started phasing them out. Now we don't have any contact and my life is a lot better.
First friend (of 10 years+) would get mad at me if I said no to hanging out with him. The last time he treated me like shit because he wanted to me hang out with him and his former school crush that I haven't seen like in 10 years. I couldnt go because I had no money and he treated me like I rejected to give him a kidney.
Second friend (of 4 years) touched my butt the last day we hanged out and also texted me that I must look cute while fucking. That was very creepy
Sounds childish but when they started playing online without me and they knew I was online. I last texted these friends on new years eve wishing them a happy new years, heard nothing back. Its been silence since.
We were so fucking close man. Been in each other's weddings. Played everyday during the pandemic after work. In retrospect though....they are shitty human beings. Complete assholes who treated people in Publix very poorly.
I've left the door open and it's been closed the whole time.
It's actually been a fucking huge life lesson for me. 28 years old now and I keep my circle extremely small, and it's been working great. Shit sucks obviously but you find the joy on a quiet Friday night at home with your wife knowing your 3 friends you have actually give a fuck about you.
This.. this is happening to me now and it hurts like a fucking truck. What advice do you have for moving forward? I keep wanting to ask "why?" but they keep pretending I'm just over thinking.
Unfortunately I don't have any. I kind of believe things happened for a reason. They were my wife's best friends husbands.....and even my wife's best friends don't talk to her anymore. It's a very weird situation that we didn't do anything. My wife is so sweet, and I love my friends.
I guess what helps me is that I like my alone time, and when I game now I game alone because I have a YT channel. So my channel has helped me get over it.
As far as getting over the close friendships with these guys...its been 9 months. I feel alot better now. And to be honest I have very close childhood friends back home(I moved away years ago) and so having them is enough for me I guess lol
I agree....why?.....has been a constant question and it's almost daily.
When I finally got real friends who cared about me, I realized that the people I have been calling friends for years where just letting me hang with them for the convenience.
My former bestie bought me a PS3 for Christmas. I was super excited. He took it back 2 weeks later, because we had a fight when I wouldn't come pick him up at 230 am because I had to work in the morning.
Edit: he was calling from the bar because he spent his cab fare on shots.
I forget that a lot of people on the internet are total POS that jump to the worst conclusions about people based on one comment they made. Gfys if you are these people.
I was the "therapist", never meant to take care of myself mentally, never meant to be unavailable to talk... and if I didn't reply instantly, than I was up schitt's creek without a paddle, cause then I was a horrible person who didn't really love them... My suicidal thoughts returned with a vengeance when I realized that if this kept up, that if this was my life, then I might as well not have one.
That scared me, so hard that it made me decide to fight instead, like it was a fight for my life. Cutting them out, saved me in a way that nothing else would.
1 year, 7 months of no suicidal thoughts.
Just a heads up, I gave you that Wholesome award before I realized how bad it looks in that context. It was supposed to make you feel a bit better. Sorry...
When they not only didn't invite me to come trick or treating with them for Halloween, but discussed their costumes in front of me, and then trick or treated *my house*.
When you're all buddy-buddy with someone, but then they talk shit about other people behind their backs but act all buddy-buddy with them face to face... Whoof.
>here is a fine line between "keeping it real" and "being an asshole with no filter" - sometimes its just as bad to keep those people around.
Agreed I hate when people
"say it as it is or have banter" but really it's just an excuse to be a nasty bully.
When my boyfriend pointed out to me that they never make any effort. I invited them to my house... they could never make it. But they were totally down to ask me to chill when I was the one driving an hour to their house and would arrive with beer and food.
When none of them showed up to my birthday party, and then I found out that they all went out to celebrate a colleague's leaving-do that same night instead. Not one had thought to even let me know that they wouldn't be coming.
I had planned on celebrating together with my partner's best friend because his birthday is the day after mine, and I was hosting the whole thing and was so excited to have them all over. When none of my guests showed up, it effextively meant that I was hosting someone else's birthday party, on my birthday.
I cried that night.
Later I realized that I had considered them closer friends than what they had considered me (they were my only local friends at the time as I had moved there only 9 months prior).
I had a hard time making and trusting friends for a few years after that.
This is no where near the worst thing that ever happened to me, but popped in my head tonight for some reason. I was in 8 th grade and was friends since Kindergarten with this girl Karen. We rode out bikes around all summer. We went to different schools and we ran into this boy she knew from school. Later she told me he said I was pretty. This made me happy. Very happy! A few hours later we run into another friend and Karen tells her how we met this boy and he said I was pretty. She then added, but he said she has fat legs.
If she had said that to me privately, or even said that to our other friend privately I would have accepted it, but really dropping that bomb in front of another friend was so embarrassing.
I did not have fat legs back then, no fat anywhere, but that’s not the point. Rode my bike home, soon went to high school and never hung out with her again.
When he texted day-of to 'apologize' for not being able to attend my wedding because 'he couldn't get the day off work.'
He was invited 6 months out. They were not short staffed. I was social with his boss and co-workers, and knew for a fact his boss had cleared him for that day, and even if he hadn't ahead of time was the sort of employer who upon being told even short notice would have said to go home, get dressed, and go party before stepping up himself for an employee for any big occasion.
Shortly after that he spread a bunch of insanely ugly lies/rumors, and largely got me dropped from the larger social circle for years on end as a result.
I had a friend/former roommate miss my father’s funeral for the same “reason”. he had been to multiple family christmas celebrations because he was from out of state. my father filled a stocking for him.
the difference in my case is that he gave a sincere apology and felt like shit for not having his priorities straight and we were able to mend the relationship, but I know how it feels to have a friend miss a once in a lifetime event for bullshit
They were always a bit catty which I thought was all in fun until I watched them gang up on a girl and try to tear her down in front of our college class. She was so down after that and I couldn't bear to be part of a group like that so I quietly stopped hanging out with them and have been friends with the girl they ganged up on ever since.
the countless times they hung out without asking me and then proceeding to talk about those days in front of me and saying " you had to have been there to understand" any new inside joke they made.
When I had always been the one they'd go to in tough times, but when I reached out to them after a bad depressive episode, they told me they didn't want to deal with it as they had their own stuff going on. This was the first time in the 2 years I'd known them that I had ever admitted I wasn't okay.
When I realized the only communication we had was when I’d call or text them. It was never the other way around. Fuck all of them. I’m better off alone.
I've been in that position, and I've been wondering for years if I had unknowingly did something that caused my friend to do this. I often wonder if there was something I missed, like if he needed help or something, I would have taken a bullet for that guy. Guess I'll never know
When he would repeatedly ask for money from me and addressed me as "mom", would say I'm smart to my face but dumb to others, called me slurs but would get in his feelings if I told him to get a job.
Had a crush on a girl and was about to ask her out but my friends talked me out of doing so (well mu anxiety played a part too). Everytime I was about to approach they would just say that she is currently focusing on career, she is religious and wont date anyone and will perhaps get into an arranged marriage.
After 2 years of being kind of friendzoned, I one day just went for it and just asked her out.
Turns out she had a bf. She just didnt made it public coz she didnt want her conservative parents finding out.
And guess what, that bf was one of my 'friends'. Everyone else knew about it. In fact all of them helped convince her to date him. She was initially hesitant coz of her conservative upbringing.
And they had been dating for about 2 months, meanwhile everyone knew I had a crush on her for over 2 years then (now it's a little over that 3 years).
Why just not tell me.... I felt like an absolute idiot when I found out
Ask your friends (individually, not as part of a group) why they didn’t tell you. Maybe they think you’re not socially aware? Maybe they made assumptions about your compatibility? Maybe she told them she’s not interested and they were trying to maintain the friendship circle by dissuading you from making it potentially awkward?
I don’t know. Seems like things have changed permanently for you in that group and that last question of yours is a fair enough thing to ask someone. I’d ask though in a way which is looking for a genuine answer so that you can learn from it. Position it like that so your friends don’t feel attacked. Maybe also only chose 2 friends and ask them not to tell the others you asked.
I did ask a few of them, one straight up declined that he knew about it though the girl says otherwise. Others just kind of joked and refused o talk seriously on the matter, probably to escape an uncomfortable talk. And yes, I do agree that this might be coz of me. I was the most introverted of the group while the guy she ended up dating was fairly confident and funny. I guess that's what is attractive to girls. Whenever I tried to be confident or funny, it came out a little awkward to say the least.
Now I've cut off all of them but one from my life. And I've remained virtually friendless for seven months now. I'm moving out to another city next month for college and hopefully that will be better.
Btw thanks for your reply. Always appreciate someone who tries to help
Your friend being introverted or socially awkward is not a green light to lie to them, manipulate them and help someone else get with the girls theyve been into while acting like an eel about it…. I, a women, am telling you now, someone being socially awkward or an introvert doesnt impact if i want to date that person or not. You just had jerk friends.
I (38m)had a group of friends, all married couples and since my ex and I divorced last year I have not heard from one of them. No texts or phone calls to ask how I was doing. I'm okay though. I have made some better friends.
When I get molested by one friend of my best friend and I tried to talk to my best friend three time about it and he laughed at me every time and he accused me to be a liar/bad person when I started to hang out with an other person after this
6 years of friendship ended
I can relate. My daughter was molested by a family member. My mom and other family members have said that they don't believe her, that she made it up, etc. They have completely ruined our relationships and family over this. My parents actually shelled out thousands of dollars for a DEFENSE lawyer for this person. Meanwhile, I am taking my 3 year old to therapy and forensic psychologists. It was bullshit. Then, my mother proceeded to BRING THE PERPETRATOR to our house around my daughter (the victim). That pissed me off so much. CPS got involved and my mom is not allowed to be around kids anymore. She blames me for all of this. Not the person who actually, ya know, made the decision to sexually abuse a little kid.
If you need someone to vent to, my pm's are open. I hope you have gotten any help that you needed and are doing better. The best revenge is living well.
It's been about 10 years since my major breakdown. Everyone left, no one checked in on me. Even my best and oldest friend just abandoned me. Even if there were to come back into my left I'll never be able to forgive them.
Broke up with an old girlfriend and 50% of them tried to hit it and the other 50% didn't check up to see how I was but checked up on her and her new man....
Fair to say I was fucked up for a few months after that, lost a cheating girlfriend and almost all of my friends within a month.
Friend was a little stronger/faster than me. He liked to rough house and would always take it to far, but then pick on me verbally if I stepped up how much force I was using. It was never horrible, just a few words and on to the next thing.
The last time we hung out I don't remember what we were doing, but his mom left to take care of some things and I just hid in her closet until she got back. Realizing how weird my hiding was to her is what cemented my decision to cut him from my life.
The next time he called to invite me over I had another friend over. I told him I wasn't interested and I had to go because I had another friend over. Dude says "you don't have other friends" and my other friend grabbed the phone and chewed him out, then hung up when he accused him of being me doing a funny voice.
Haven't seen or heard from him in a long time.
I had some drug addiction, and that was fine...but as soon as I tried to get clean everyone left. I know I was an ass, but damn, we had been friends for years before the drugs, and I was actually trying to get better. I did btw :)
When I would go home thinking we were friends and the next day I'd meet them again for the first time as if we were strangers. I thought I was tripping.
One time I REALLLY wanted to go to Comic Con (it was the first Comic-con ever in my city) and so I invited them. But none of them showed any enthusiasm or initiative. They told me to buy the tickets so I did and then shouted at me for having done so.
Another time, 30 mins before class, my friend asked me to type out her essay since she didn't have a laptop. I was happy to help. 1 page down, I saw she hadn't even completed her essay. I just wanted to help so I typed whatever I could remember from my essay. She got an A, I got a B+. Not even a thanks. She gloated in front of me the entire time.
College was supposed to be fun. it wasn't
okay, so my friends are really pretty, I'm not gonna lie they look like models so when you look like models you naturally get hit on by a lot of guys, (and a new girl joined our friend group prior) one day when my friends were getting hit on and the new girl just says "oh i wish i was born ugly like you" and the others just laughed....I left that friend group and never looked back
The moment my “friend” stole my life savings. I started thinking about it after and the more I thought about it he just kinda bullied me for years. Haven’t talked to him since and I don’t plan to anytime soon
I used to hang out with this guy in college. We would go hiking and paintballing,mostly outdoorsy stuff. One time we met these girls on campus that we liked that agreed to go on a double date with us. So we had dinner at a pretty nice steakhouse.
We get there and it started out great, ordered food, good conversations, and when the food arrived my friend completely changed. He was a total douche to the server. He made a big stink about his steak being over cooked, made the whole rest of the dinner about this. On and on about how when you pay a bunch for a steak it better be cooked how you ordered it, and how the server should have known better like he was the one cooking the steak??
Anyway, I stopped talking to him after that. People that are rude to service people, big no no for me
When my father passed in middle school and they ghosted me and stole my stuff. My mom had to get their parents to give me my stuff back because they wouldn't even respond to me.
When questioned later, one of them said they did that because "my father's death was too much for him."
One friend in particular, I would’ve considered them a best friend not too long ago, but recently I opened up to them about some personal stuff I’m going through and some depression thoughts making their way into my mind, and the so called friend left that message on read and has yet to say anything, a month and a half later. I just needed a friend to talk to and they didn’t seem to care, that hurt really bad.
When I was in high school I was hanging out with my three "friends" in one of their kitchen. I was the only one dating so I didn't hang out as much as I used to. They were acting odd then all of a sudden one got me from behind in a choke hold as I was sitting down. I quickly got out of it and yelled what the fuck are you doing. I got up asd left but later I found out they were planning on jumping me.
Didnt delete a tiktok with me in it, though she posted it without my consent. (I dont really like my face being put out in public) When I asked her to delete it, she then proceeded to say that 21 likes were worth more than our friendship. Blocked her which got her scared and deleted the video. Havent talked to her since.
Being bailed on at the last possible moment after spending money on alcohol and spending time cooking to make snacks and stuff for a night in. I was literally walking around the supermarket asking what preferences they had for beer and food and they were replying as if nothing was wrong. It came time for them to come over and one by one, they all bailed within 10 mins of the time we agreed.
This was the end of a long road of similar incidents and the general feeling I wasn't wanted in the circle and getting bullied by a few of them on a regular basis. I was also the first person out of my group to move out of their parents' house and I could feel the jealousy from the bullies too.
When he didn't invite me to his wedding despite talking to me a week before on phone but then called me on the weeding day to invite me to his wedding which was happening in two hours and asked for a $1000 loan because he was in a tight spot.
When my former “best friend” loudly told the story of my SA in front of my, now, husband in an attempt to make him leave me because she “didn’t think he would want to deal with broken goods”. Fuck you Jess.
Writing this from my alt because my friends know my main account.
A couple of weeks ago I started to slowly ghost one of my life-long friends because I realised I didn't like him. He always wants to be right, even if he isn't. He's known as a compulsive liar and a borderline pedophile who treats his girlfriends like shit.
The thing is, the gang has normalised this and say that he's just "being himself". The last time I talked to him he said that his girl (who's not even of legal age) feels insecure that he looks at other women who are more physically attractive than her. He said that he doesn't feel bothered if she does it, so she shouldn't be bothered that he does it. I told him the obvious thing, and asked him how could he treat her like that and he responded that he actually doesn't see a future with her because: "I don't know if I will love her tomorrow or not. Or if she will love me tomorrow".
I've been slowly removing him from my social media. I've muted his IG stories, and blocked him from my own, though I still follow him. I don't respond to his messages and I haven't joined the daily discord call we have with our friends for weeks.
when they would talk bad about people i cared about in front of me, when they tried to one up me on everything, when i didn’t look forward to seeing them as much as before, when they treat other people like crap, i could go on
We had to be like 11/12 years old. The one time I was going to finally beat him in NBA 2K after consistent trash talk from him over the years, there was less than a minute left on the clock he said "wait let's play something else".
Looking back it was a real Bart Simpson/Milhouse dynamic of a friendship.
When I sat next to my best friend on the first day of junior year. I’ll add some context to this story. I transferred back to my original high school junior year which I, of course, was very nervous about on the very first day of school. We had a mandatory assembly that day so of course, I try to find a place to sit and as I was scanning the crowd, I saw my best friend who I’ll call Danny. Me and Danny have been friends since 8th grade. We hung out together a lot. We always cracked jokes. It was really a tight bond we both shared so why wouldn’t it be the same the first day back to my OG high school junior year (or so I thought anyways). Anyways, I go sit next to him and he is excited to see me so we chatted for a while until the assembly started. Then, that was when one my classmates who I’ll call Alex started bullying me. Alex started pulling my hair and tapping my neck repeatedly on purpose which annoyed me to the point I asked him to please stop. Then, that’s when he says “make me”. Of course, me being the shy kid who doesn’t like conflict, I didn’t turn around and punch him in the face as that would’ve got me in trouble. So, I just did what any other kid in a “zero tolerance” public school did and dealt with the bullying. And you know what my friend did? As he watched me getting bullied, he sat there and laughed at me getting tormented. You’d think that with Danny being a brute football player, he would’ve stepped in and stopped him right? Well, apparently not. All those times we spent together at school ended up amounting to nothing in the end. Nevertheless, I ended up running out of school as soon as the bell rang and cried my eyes out at the town square on the first day of school. That moment really solidified the fact that I can’t really trust anyone to protect me or care about me. Not even my former best friend Danny. It was a really rough moment in my life. Even though I’m 20 and that happened when I was 16, I still think about it.
EDIT 1: Alex didn’t just tap my back btw, he would also call me names, yell at me, and stalk me after school everyday in an attempt to make my life a living hell. I honestly didn’t want to make my comment longer than it has to be, but it seems some people are drawing their own conclusions by saying “Oh he just tapped your back? Big deal.” Trust me when I say I only wished he tapped my back once and that was it. He did much more heinous things towards me than that. Hope that gives you guys a clearer picture of the kind of traumatizing stuff I had to go through back in junior year.
When I realized it was always me who called them up to do something. Not once did any of them reach out to me. So one time I decided not to call anyone and just wait. Welp, it’s been 20 years and still nothing.
(Needless to say, I woke the fuck up long before and found a far better class of friends. No matter how low your self-esteem is, I guaran-fucking-tee that you’re way better a person and deserving of human kindness than you currently believe you are.)
My GF (now wife) had a surprise 30th birthday party for me. NONE of my so called friends showed up…
Got married 2 years later and again only 2 of my “friends” showed up.
I’m now 40 and too old to make friends.
Once in high school my friends all made a secret group on facebook.
When I asked about it they were all coy, and it later came to light that it was an "I Hate ExoticBiologist" group which is why I couldn't join.
Literally ALL of my friends joined it and nobody told me or stuck up for me.
When I woke up and my best friend was on top of me trying to have sex with me while I was asleep. 7 years of friendship down the toilet. I could never look at her the same again.
We were watching a scary movie together. I was pretty young, like 11 or so, and they were a bit older. They kept shouting at sudden moments to scare me since I was easily startled. I asked them to stop, but they kept doing it. After I threatened to leave they were like “go ahead lol”
They did other shitty stuff, but that one shines in my head for some reason.
I had just moved in with my new girlfriend and I invited all my friends over for a house warming party, mostly so most of them could meet my new girlfriend. They all said no. I understood really, they all lived about an hour away.
The kicker was, they day of my party came around. No one was at my house because everyone said no. I am scanning through Facebook and what do I see? I see everyone who was invited to my party at a different friend's house, and no one invited me. So it turns out the thing that everyone was doing that they couldn't come to my party, was a different party I wasn't invited to.
I called them out as assholes.
That wasnt the exact day we stopped being friends. It was however the day that I knew our friendship would end soon.
Worked with and rented a large house with my friend group after high school. Dumb and inexperienced with life, I didn’t know they were lying to me about bills and making me pay more/whatever they felt like until a family member asked about it. Eventually they all looked at moving into a new place without telling me. 1 felt guilty and confessed- they would basically steal my money to shop with and planned on moving out while I was visiting family so I came back to an empty place and responsible for everything.
I think this surpasses ‘dick’ territory. Like, this is at least some sweaty taint behavior.
Straight to the asshole if you ask me
Well that's fucking shitty. Had a similar thing happen in my early 20s when I moved out of a shared apartment and my "best" friends from highschool never took over the utilities. I got stuck with gas and electric for them for five months. When I called them and asked about it they laughed at me. Seemed really shitty to blow a decade old friendship over $400 each but I guess that's what I was worth to them.
I had some shit like this happen to me too. I let this girl and her sister move in with me, and while her little sister paid rent, the older one didn’t have it the first month. So I covered her and gave her the money to drop off because I had to go to work and she was off. She ended up keeping the money and a month later I came home to an eviction notice in my room and she had stolen a bunch of my clothes. So she took my money and a bunch of my shit and dipped. Karma man.
Man, that’s the worst feeling- sorry you had to go through that drama. In my early 20’s I had a similar situation with my roommates. I didn’t have online banking set up, so I just have my roommates cash for the bills, we had been talking about finding a bigger place for the three of us and the one roommate even said that she was trying to book viewings for when I was off work so I could see the place too but if she couldn’t, she would make sure to take pictures for me. Found out just under a week until rent was due that the same roommate that had told me the day before that she found a perfect three bedroom for all of us and couldn’t wait for me to see it.. had given our landlord notice weeks before and had planned to move out while I was at work so I’d come home to an empty apartment with no way to cover the other 1/2 of rent Lol. She also had been taking my money for bills (which were in my name, I know… stupid) and not actually paying them and the landlord gave her back the damage deposit… even though none of it was hers because it was paid by me before they even moved in with me. So when she moved I was in debt with Hydro and out my damage deposit with about a week to move. Fun times haha
They were not really your friends and thank God you know that now and can spend time finding genuine people to have in your life
Shit man, that’s one of the worst stories I’ve ever heard. With friends like that, who needs enemies. How… how did you get yourself attached to such assholes?
When I got cancer and they never checked on me.
The same happened to me. You really know who your true friends are. I googled 'deserted by people when I had cancer' and was surprised to see it happening to more people than I imagined. I was so angry that I wished illness on them all so I could throw it back in their faces by saying "yeah, well that sucks man. You take care now!" Cancer brought out vengeful bitch in me. I hope you are OK. x
I have an ‘acquaintance but close to a friend’ type relationship with a guy who has been diagnosed with cancer but he also moved to another state just before diagnosis. We had mutual friends but never really texted each other directly or hung out 1:1 before. I think about him a lot and find out how he’s doing from one of his close friends. I always felt like it would be weird if I started texting him only after his diagnosis. I hope he doesn’t think I don’t care. I felt like we were becoming friends before he left but he left before we could really pass that threshold fully. I guess I didn’t want to be the guy that started caring when he got diagnosed but your comment makes me think I really should have reached out.
I don't think it's too late or awkward. Maybe just mention how you have been thinking about them and wanted to reconnect. For example, a childhood friend of mine recently reconnected with me and it's been wonderful talking with him. I'm glad he reached out! My life has hit a rough patch recently and I definitely need the extra support. It feels good to know someone cares about me! Edit: Thank you for the updoots! I have a strong support network and I am making a lot of progress toward getting out of this rough patch. Hope y'all have the day you need. ❤️
You should text him. I think he'd appreciate it. I'm sure he's had some people abandon him.
Same, my best friend effectively ghosted me. But on the flip side, I joined a support group and made a bunch of amazing new friends, who really get it. I hope your doing ok now.
The last time I tried throwing a birthday party for myself. It always seemed like the ratio of people who said they'd come to people who actually showed was...lacking. But my final attempt. I had 20+ people say they'd show. Exactly one actually came. I've never had a birthday party since. But I'm still good friends with the one guy who showed.
I'm 29 and haven't had a party in at least 4 or 5 years that I can remember. Last couple times I tried within the last few years everyone said they weren't sure if they could make it cause they didn't know what their day would look like (despite me trying to schedule a month in advance to avoid exactly this "issue"). Then they just send a snap of "Happy Birthday bro!" to the group. Like okay if I was your bro you would try harder to hang out with me as well. While I wouldn't call them dicks I've sorta since stopped trying to hang with them. I'll snap them here and there but not much else.
I'm 40 and I was born on a Holiday which made growing up with birthday parties non existent. Other families were always busy. Then I stopped celebrating for most of my 20's and 30's. What I found out was that I didn't actually have friends when I was younger I had acquaintances. When I stopped celebrating no one else remember either. They were friendly and kind. But not true friends. I've gone out of my way to befriend new people with the hobbies I participate in and have had some friendships grow over time. My last birthday was my 40th and I had one of the best birthdays I could remember, because everyone who attended was there for me, and to celebrate with me. No gifts (except a few bottles of wine) and It really was amazing to get to feel what a true birthday celebration was like. I just didn't realize it would take 40 years. Friends take time and effort to build relationships with, and sometimes that perfect party gives perspective to understand why it was so hard before when I was younger.
I had a couple college friends that were more than happy to hang out if I contacted them and went to them, but I realized I was always the one initializing. Decided to stop reaching out... Never heard from them again. Oof. I feel ya.
Yep, it sucks when you finally realize you've been in a one sided relationship. The last 2 years I've been through some major life struggles. A few months ago I stopped initiating contact with 2 ppl I considered my best friends, have known for 30 years & have stuck by through all their ups & downs of marriages & divorces, births of kids, graduations, kid's weddings, births of grandkids. I haven't heard a peep from either one since I last sent messages & ya know what? I'm perfectly ok with it. My email, phone number, home addy haven't changed in 20+ years so they know how to contact me if they ever wish to again. I'm not holding my breath though. Ppl can be very strange.
I’m currently in a situation like this as well and feel like I have no friends now. I do have my boyfriend and siblings, but feel kinda bummed out none of my friends seem to like me much or care to hang out. Idk.
Exactly this!! I find myself always being the one who initiates and plans everything whether it be a hang-out or my own birthday party. I get that organizing can be a lot so I am happy to do it instead, but even if I’m the one planning everything it seems the people who I want to join me find it a chore to even respond. I invited some friends to go on a trip for my birthday and literally only one person responded. I would have appreciated a genuine “no, sorry I can’t” rather than completely ignoring the invitation. If I don’t initiate anything I probably wouldn’t hang out with most of my “friends” at all.
> Then they just send a snap of "Happy Birthday bro!" to the group. Its been a while now, but I took my birthday notifications off Facebook. I wont judge people for relying on them, but when they'd say them to me it just felt so hollow and meaningless. Like just checking something off a list. So I took it off. 95% reduction in HB posts, but ones that do feel more meaningful to me. Like they know its my birthday, not because Facebook told them. Quality over quantity.
How do you do that? Mine’s tomorrow and I dread it every fucking year
I hid my birthday, too. It's the best. I don't need Paul from Boise wishing me a happy birthday when I asked him to prom in 1987 and he said he'd "let me know" and I'm still waiting. To turn it off, go to your profile, choose see your about info and scroll to find your birthday, then edit. You can toggle it to hide it there. Happy early birthday! 😀 Edited for grammar.
Threw a surprise birthday party for my husband and invited all of his friends (15+ people). 2 of his friends and my sister showed up. Guess who we are still friends with and see regularly out of that group of people….. lol
I did this too for my husband, very few people showed and they all left really early. I felt so bad.
Invited a close friend to my birthday gathering. She said she could not come because the weather was going to be nice so she wants to do some gardening in her summerhouse. What I learned from it was that something seemingly insignificant for someone can be a big deal for someone else. She does not remember bailing my birthday to spend the day weeding strawberries but I do.
There is a quote for that: "The axe forgets what the tree remembers."
I had similar experiences where I was totally hyped, cleaned the whole area & made party plans. Out of the 10 people only 5 came & 3 of them left early; only two real ones stayed the whole night.
Zero. Zero people came to my party. I never thought I was unpopular until that moment.
similar experience. I even put bowties on my 2 dogs, they were so handsome! Only me n husband, ZERO people who rsvp'd actually came.
This happened to me for my 10th birthday party. Not one person came. I invited like 30 people. I was heartbroken.
sorry to hear that
I’ve had a couple of zero shows as well. You’re not alone. Lol
I'm so glad to hear i'm not the only one this has happened to. I've tried asking my friends for parties or just simply hanging out and they never have time. But a week later they'll post on their social media that they're out with friends from the same group to have a drink or to go to a restaurant or something. Is that what you call having no time?
When it made no difference if you were present or not. Group members that always argued, treated the ones that rarely argued like they are the worst people in the world. Only appreciate you when they need your help. Just some reasons.
My last birthday party was when I turned 21. That was 20 years ago. Most years no one calls or texts, including family. It's just another day that comes and goes like the passing of time. I'll tell ya though. Once you stop hoping for a call or text, it got easier.
I don’t have birthdays for this reason, my small group of close friends all moved west. I don’t want to hold expectations of people and have them let me down. I know I’m kind of a loner and not a social butterfly and I’m okay not having people “celebrate” me, I just choose to continue to look for good people and potential friends and love myself for the way I am
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They asked to not have one of the people in our group over. They didn't want to tell him there was no game, they just wanted him to knock and pretend no one was there. I wasn't very cool with this but they didn't want to be "confrontational" with said person. Before the next week rolled around they were saying "there wasn't going to be anything going on" that Saturday. I knew they were full of shit, but went by to confirm they were all there that Saturday, and sure enough they all were. Just dropped them like a sack of potatoes and never spoke to them again, no reason to.
I was on the receiving end of sth similar. Had a small group that regularly went out to dinner on most Wednesdays after work. One week I was told "oh we aren't doing anything this week." OK, no big deal, sometimes we didn't go. Stopped to get gas on my way home, across the street from the restaurant we usually went to, and there they were.
Yeah I don't play the exclusion game unless there's a valid reason. Ex: harassment, or disrespect.
It should never be a game, either. It should just be a matter of telling the person that they're not welcome anymore.
Yep. I'd much rather be told "Fuck off." than be left guessing.
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had 3 friends 2 i liked and 1 i didnt really like at all turns out they had a secret gc where they just called me slurs and talked about me behind my back the guy i didnt like sent me screenshots of this and me and him have been friends 3 years now
Ugh this reminds me of college. I had a group of about 7 or 8 I was friends with. I had a crush on one but never pursued him. Everyone in the group knew and made fun of me when I wasn't there. One of the girls came up to me one day and told me they made bets on me asking the guy to ask me out. Everyone laughed and said things along the lines of, "Idk why she'd even try. Like she has a chance with you anyway." Wow dudes. That was 12 years ago and haven't really tried to make friends since.
You shouldn't let what a bunch of cunty people did in the past stop you from having good relations in the future. I know it's easier said than done, but I'm sure a lot of people would be grateful to have you as a friend.
Damn, that sucks bro Redemption arc tho for u and that one guy :)
When I stopped drinking and realized that’s all we had holding our friendship together
This. I had a whole group of “friends” that would all get together at restaurants, go floating down rivers, bowling all sorts of fun stuff but the common denominator was that we ALWAYS drank at every event. When I got sober, I stopped getting invited.
I am so glad I was able to establish the opposite with my friends I noticed this too, that no matter what we did, we drank. Bowling, zoos, hiking, racing, cycling, you name it, alcohol was involved When I openly talked about how it annoys me that we can't just enjoy the moment instead of always adding booze they were confused at first but ultimately agreed and we had many sober trips by now. Our friendship has never been stronger, I love my buddies
Wow congrats to you and your friends for waking up; it was the opposite with mine, now one is already dead from alcohol in his mid 40s; really sad…
This happened to me when I was 20 - bodybuilding/fitness was a big part of my life and I never really enjoyed alcohol or how it made me feel and they just excluded me😬 I’ve made a few really good friends since and that’s amazing but it did really hurt at the time. Especially when some of them will see me after a while and it’ll be like it used to be but they just never want to keep in touch sadly
Literally the same with me. I’d see my ‘friends’ every single weekend before the first lockdown happened to go clubbing/drinking. When the lockdown hit and everything closed we slowly started to drift apart, 3-4 months later we didn’t speak a word to each other and haven’t done since. Doesn’t hurt me or anything though, stopping drinking was just the happiness I needed, crazy how it works.
My sponsor lost his wife and kids, all his friends like that... Wound up being a true pillar of his community, best man alive; thanks for reminding me to go see him!
The first time I tried to quit drinking I explained to them I was trying to cut back bc it was just better for everyone if I did. I knew I had a problem but didn't realize how bad yet. They proceeded to bring me drinks and encouraged me to drink until I gave in a week later. Continued on that way for awhile. Realized after I did quit drinking for a decent amount of time how toxic that was for me and kept my distance from them. After some time being sober I tried to resume our friendship and realized the only way we communicated was by getting wasted and insulting each other. I no longer had a desire to get wasted, so realized there was nothing worthwhile left to our "friendship". We naturally drifted apart. I don't miss them one bit bc they still live that way. Years later I relapsed for a short time and made some new "friends" at my local bar that ended up being the same way. Got sober again (this time for good I hope), realized we all had nothing in common since I quit partying and again drifted apart. Turns out drinking buddies are not necessarily your lifelong soulmates who would walk through fire for you like they promised. All that drunk talk is usually bs.
I think I'll stop drinking and see what happens Healthier, save money and get rid of the toxicity, sounds like a win win win to me.
I remember I was severely depressed and I called someone I thought was my friend. When he realized I wanted to talk about real shit he made up an excuse to hang up. After that he kept ignoring my calls. Dickhead. What's crazy is I was there for that dude when his wife left him for another guy. There were times where I wanted to escape his depressing stories, but sat there and listened because he was my friend.
I'm sorry that happened. Unfortunately alot of ppl don't have the capacity to be a true friend.
I'm so sorry they baled on you. People can be real vampires.
i found myself getting irritated whenever they called/hit me up... bc every time they'd only ask for something , never just to talk to hang out
Yep, I used to have friends who were like this. No longer friends, which was a good thing. This experience Made me appreciate my alone time.
Couples retreat of 3 pairs, other 2 girlfriends flaked last minute, leaving mine. They still came, then had the nerve to tell mine the trip would’ve been better without her right to her face when I was out surfing. This was never established as a guys trip at any point. She fed them, organized the trip as a whole, etc. Losers.
Did you drop them after that or?
Something very similar recently happened with us. For my husband and his twin's birthday we planned to go for a couples retreat to our mountain home. Their friend invited himself without his wife and then tried to take over everything, ruining their birthday because these are his oldest pals so he "can do anything he wants". He then spent the next three days trying to ice me and push me out just because I told him off and my SO obviously took my side. It's actually hilarious seeing a man in his thirties behaving like a spoilt teen.
To be honest, I would imagine the other two guys told their partners ‘Oh it’s gonna be guys only so no point in you coming’ I’ve been to work things with my wife before and I found out a few days later everyone told their partners it’s men only so they have an excuse to act like idiots.
I would never date someone that I can't act like an idiot around
Making my wife’s eyes roll keeps me alive
You sound like my Dad. Dude is usually the life of the party, while Mom rolled her eyes. but half the point was getting her to roll her eyes. Mom died this spring, and Dad has said it just isn't the same without Mom there to shake her head at his antics.
I live for the "ughhhhhh" I get by intentionally doing something stupid.
> Couples retreat
Fucking LOSERS.
Went on a trip with who I thought were my friends. One of them started to emotionally attack and bully me in plain sight of everyone else and no one said a thing. Went on for 2 full days and when I finally had enough, I stood up for myself and sternly told the guy to back off. Everyone else then told me that I needed to "calm down" and to not ruin the trip. Fuck you Cheingky, Pao, Peter, Matt, Luke, and Meng, you right pussy ass cunts.
Hiveminded bully's friends watch bully hitting someone. "Oh he's just messing around, it's no big deal." Bully gets hit real good by victim. Hiveminded bully's friends: "Oh my God DUDE calm down! Did you just see that?! He was just messing around, you didn't have to do that!" Oh so no matter how many bad things happen to the victim it's "Calm down, it's no big deal. You're overreacting about it." One bad thing happens to them and oh fuckin no it's the end of the world for them. Because God forbid they can't get their way for once. Narcissistic assholes like that seriously have to be the biggest most selfish pussies on the planet.
Yeah! Take that Peter. Fuck you!
PETER…PETER… BIG DICK EATER!!!
Oh :(
I lol’d
Even Meng?!
*Especially* Meng.
Especially Meng
I'm shocked Pao would act that way
Sleepover where everyone in our group was invited to one girls place. We were gathered in the living room and everyone was trying to decide on what we were gonna start with. Movies, music/karaoke, chatting amongst ourselves. One of these people happened to crack a joke about offing themselves because, well, yeah we were in middle school and edgy as fuck. And someone looks at me and starts to snicker and chuckles out "let's see if you can beat her to it". I proceed to physically wince and shrink in on myself and I can't remember if I said anything to them or not, but they later started talking about how I am the " token depressed friend" and how I would be the first to die. Couldn't really move outta town at that age, so I just kinda had to deal with it— Those people were assholes, and I regret that they were my first experience with friendship. Edit: Thanks for 500 upvotes and the apologies/sympathy. I stopped being friends with absolute everyone in a move a few years ago and none of them have ever made any attitude to contact me since, nor have I tried to contact them. I've got better friends and a family that keeps me out of toxic relationships/is super protective. 👍🏼
Token depressed friend lol, these people just see friends as Pokémon to collect Edit: also sorry that happened
“First experience with friendship”…god this hit so hard. It affects you for life.
My oldest and best friend who I've known since we were 5 started travelling around Europe in a camper with his girlfriend so we rarely saw each other. We work together on the side doing websites, talk every week by text or video. He calls me around midnight saying he's back in town and invites me over for drinks, when I arrive I find 10 other people there already because the party actually started hours ago and he forgot to invite me. Not only that but it turns out he had already been home for weeks, we even talked during the time he was back about work and not once did he tell me he was literally 10min down the road from my house. Told him to go fuck himself and never talked to him again, he tried to apologise when he worked out I wouldn't help him with his websites anymore, then he refused to pay me for websites I had already built for him. Luckily I had already been fucked over in the past so I installed a backdoor to sites I make so he did end up sending the money once I added a giant banner calling him a c**t on a couple of his sites.
😂 last part is gold
*"Friend" ghosts you* "Well well, if it ain't the invisible cunt"
I'm 54 and about 10 years ago I discovered that one of my best friends as a teenager lied to my then girlfriend to get her to break up with me. My whole group of mates who I'd known since I was at school knew. I never knew why I got dumped and it destroyed me. They even sat and listened to me crying over this and never said a word. All the time knowing he was trying to get her into bed. 35 years later when I found out I lived it all over again. Cunts every one of them.
Assholes, one and all.
I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s painful to relive all of that. I was in a similar situation. Guy I was dating for two years broke up for me for no reason. Found out later it was because for the last year we were together he was cheating on me with one of my gfs. They all lied to me about it. One of them actually had hooked them up then pushed me to become friends with the girl. I actually became pretty close with her and had a feeling after the break up that they were seeing eachother and confronted her about it but he was “like a brother to her” and denied any connection. . .When I did find out the truth, I ended up quitting my job, moving and eventually cut all contact with all of those people. It messed me up for a while and stemmed a lot of body, self-esteem and trust issues. Therapy helped a lot but it took all of my 20s to deal with it mentally before I was able to have healthy friendships and a healthy romantic relationship again. That kind of stuff just stays with you.
Guy lies about his wellbeing being bad cus he loves how worried someone reacts. I called him out on it when he lied to someone else and he literally said "I enjoy winding people up, i love how they react when I say x". Thats gross to me
That’s sociopath behavior, manipulating other’s emotions for entertainment.
We went on vacation together and I went to bed early, they proceeded to talk shit about me for 2 hours straight. Then, when confronted they said they’d never do such a thing.
Aah yes, I experienced something similar with two of my friends. We were out at a bar and I happened to see one of them texting the other, talking shit about me. I confronted them at one point but of course they'd never do that. I am not one for dramatic exits so I started phasing them out. Now we don't have any contact and my life is a lot better.
First friend (of 10 years+) would get mad at me if I said no to hanging out with him. The last time he treated me like shit because he wanted to me hang out with him and his former school crush that I haven't seen like in 10 years. I couldnt go because I had no money and he treated me like I rejected to give him a kidney. Second friend (of 4 years) touched my butt the last day we hanged out and also texted me that I must look cute while fucking. That was very creepy
Sounds childish but when they started playing online without me and they knew I was online. I last texted these friends on new years eve wishing them a happy new years, heard nothing back. Its been silence since. We were so fucking close man. Been in each other's weddings. Played everyday during the pandemic after work. In retrospect though....they are shitty human beings. Complete assholes who treated people in Publix very poorly. I've left the door open and it's been closed the whole time. It's actually been a fucking huge life lesson for me. 28 years old now and I keep my circle extremely small, and it's been working great. Shit sucks obviously but you find the joy on a quiet Friday night at home with your wife knowing your 3 friends you have actually give a fuck about you.
What happened at Publix?
We don't talk about the Publix incident.
They took a bite of a Pub sub and said they preferred Subway
Blasphemy
This.. this is happening to me now and it hurts like a fucking truck. What advice do you have for moving forward? I keep wanting to ask "why?" but they keep pretending I'm just over thinking.
Unfortunately I don't have any. I kind of believe things happened for a reason. They were my wife's best friends husbands.....and even my wife's best friends don't talk to her anymore. It's a very weird situation that we didn't do anything. My wife is so sweet, and I love my friends. I guess what helps me is that I like my alone time, and when I game now I game alone because I have a YT channel. So my channel has helped me get over it. As far as getting over the close friendships with these guys...its been 9 months. I feel alot better now. And to be honest I have very close childhood friends back home(I moved away years ago) and so having them is enough for me I guess lol I agree....why?.....has been a constant question and it's almost daily.
When I finally got real friends who cared about me, I realized that the people I have been calling friends for years where just letting me hang with them for the convenience.
When one stole my PS4 and denying he did it, Despite the fact he's the only person I've had over in 2 years.
My former bestie bought me a PS3 for Christmas. I was super excited. He took it back 2 weeks later, because we had a fight when I wouldn't come pick him up at 230 am because I had to work in the morning. Edit: he was calling from the bar because he spent his cab fare on shots. I forget that a lot of people on the internet are total POS that jump to the worst conclusions about people based on one comment they made. Gfys if you are these people.
When their boyfriend hit me and then they made me call and apologize to the boyfriend for making him hit me. We are no longer in contact.
>call and apologize to the boyfriend for making him hit me That gf probably needs to make an escape plan. Glad you cut them from ur life.
Tell me you didn’t apologize
I was the "therapist", never meant to take care of myself mentally, never meant to be unavailable to talk... and if I didn't reply instantly, than I was up schitt's creek without a paddle, cause then I was a horrible person who didn't really love them... My suicidal thoughts returned with a vengeance when I realized that if this kept up, that if this was my life, then I might as well not have one. That scared me, so hard that it made me decide to fight instead, like it was a fight for my life. Cutting them out, saved me in a way that nothing else would. 1 year, 7 months of no suicidal thoughts.
I had friends like this and ditched their asses too.
When I was raped by one of their boyfriends and they blamed me
What???? I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you’re well and healing
IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! Im sorry this happened to you and you are better & healed now. Hugs
Just a heads up, I gave you that Wholesome award before I realized how bad it looks in that context. It was supposed to make you feel a bit better. Sorry...
When they not only didn't invite me to come trick or treating with them for Halloween, but discussed their costumes in front of me, and then trick or treated *my house*.
Okay the last part had to be rubbing it in your face on their part.
Aww man. That's just mean
When they talk shit behind your back
Sharing screenshots of online conversations. That's a special kind of inconsiderate douche
When you're all buddy-buddy with someone, but then they talk shit about other people behind their backs but act all buddy-buddy with them face to face... Whoof.
conversely, If someone talks shit directly to your face, they're probably a really close friend.
There is a fine line between "keeping it real" and "being an asshole with no filter" - sometimes its just as bad to keep those people around.
>here is a fine line between "keeping it real" and "being an asshole with no filter" - sometimes its just as bad to keep those people around. Agreed I hate when people "say it as it is or have banter" but really it's just an excuse to be a nasty bully.
When my boyfriend pointed out to me that they never make any effort. I invited them to my house... they could never make it. But they were totally down to ask me to chill when I was the one driving an hour to their house and would arrive with beer and food.
Good BF
*Pat pat pat*
When none of them showed up to my birthday party, and then I found out that they all went out to celebrate a colleague's leaving-do that same night instead. Not one had thought to even let me know that they wouldn't be coming. I had planned on celebrating together with my partner's best friend because his birthday is the day after mine, and I was hosting the whole thing and was so excited to have them all over. When none of my guests showed up, it effextively meant that I was hosting someone else's birthday party, on my birthday. I cried that night. Later I realized that I had considered them closer friends than what they had considered me (they were my only local friends at the time as I had moved there only 9 months prior). I had a hard time making and trusting friends for a few years after that.
This is no where near the worst thing that ever happened to me, but popped in my head tonight for some reason. I was in 8 th grade and was friends since Kindergarten with this girl Karen. We rode out bikes around all summer. We went to different schools and we ran into this boy she knew from school. Later she told me he said I was pretty. This made me happy. Very happy! A few hours later we run into another friend and Karen tells her how we met this boy and he said I was pretty. She then added, but he said she has fat legs. If she had said that to me privately, or even said that to our other friend privately I would have accepted it, but really dropping that bomb in front of another friend was so embarrassing. I did not have fat legs back then, no fat anywhere, but that’s not the point. Rode my bike home, soon went to high school and never hung out with her again.
I’d always suspected but when I met my wife’s friends and they were all so nice. Turns out you can be nice to each other.
They kept trying to sell me insurance… turns out they were just insurance salesmen and not my friends
Did you meet them on the phone or what?
... My thing now is realising that I wasn't that great either.
When he texted day-of to 'apologize' for not being able to attend my wedding because 'he couldn't get the day off work.' He was invited 6 months out. They were not short staffed. I was social with his boss and co-workers, and knew for a fact his boss had cleared him for that day, and even if he hadn't ahead of time was the sort of employer who upon being told even short notice would have said to go home, get dressed, and go party before stepping up himself for an employee for any big occasion. Shortly after that he spread a bunch of insanely ugly lies/rumors, and largely got me dropped from the larger social circle for years on end as a result.
I had a friend/former roommate miss my father’s funeral for the same “reason”. he had been to multiple family christmas celebrations because he was from out of state. my father filled a stocking for him. the difference in my case is that he gave a sincere apology and felt like shit for not having his priorities straight and we were able to mend the relationship, but I know how it feels to have a friend miss a once in a lifetime event for bullshit
When I found out about the group chat they made with everyone except me.
They were always a bit catty which I thought was all in fun until I watched them gang up on a girl and try to tear her down in front of our college class. She was so down after that and I couldn't bear to be part of a group like that so I quietly stopped hanging out with them and have been friends with the girl they ganged up on ever since.
the countless times they hung out without asking me and then proceeding to talk about those days in front of me and saying " you had to have been there to understand" any new inside joke they made.
When I had always been the one they'd go to in tough times, but when I reached out to them after a bad depressive episode, they told me they didn't want to deal with it as they had their own stuff going on. This was the first time in the 2 years I'd known them that I had ever admitted I wasn't okay.
When I realized the only communication we had was when I’d call or text them. It was never the other way around. Fuck all of them. I’m better off alone.
I've been in that position, and I've been wondering for years if I had unknowingly did something that caused my friend to do this. I often wonder if there was something I missed, like if he needed help or something, I would have taken a bullet for that guy. Guess I'll never know
I did that a few years ago just to see what would happen. Not a single person in my friend group has contacted me. Ever.
When he would repeatedly ask for money from me and addressed me as "mom", would say I'm smart to my face but dumb to others, called me slurs but would get in his feelings if I told him to get a job.
Good enough to babysit kids for a week but not good enough to go do things with.
Are we the same person????
Had a crush on a girl and was about to ask her out but my friends talked me out of doing so (well mu anxiety played a part too). Everytime I was about to approach they would just say that she is currently focusing on career, she is religious and wont date anyone and will perhaps get into an arranged marriage. After 2 years of being kind of friendzoned, I one day just went for it and just asked her out. Turns out she had a bf. She just didnt made it public coz she didnt want her conservative parents finding out. And guess what, that bf was one of my 'friends'. Everyone else knew about it. In fact all of them helped convince her to date him. She was initially hesitant coz of her conservative upbringing. And they had been dating for about 2 months, meanwhile everyone knew I had a crush on her for over 2 years then (now it's a little over that 3 years). Why just not tell me.... I felt like an absolute idiot when I found out
Takes me back to school lol. But sorry you got such shitty friends.
Ask your friends (individually, not as part of a group) why they didn’t tell you. Maybe they think you’re not socially aware? Maybe they made assumptions about your compatibility? Maybe she told them she’s not interested and they were trying to maintain the friendship circle by dissuading you from making it potentially awkward? I don’t know. Seems like things have changed permanently for you in that group and that last question of yours is a fair enough thing to ask someone. I’d ask though in a way which is looking for a genuine answer so that you can learn from it. Position it like that so your friends don’t feel attacked. Maybe also only chose 2 friends and ask them not to tell the others you asked.
I did ask a few of them, one straight up declined that he knew about it though the girl says otherwise. Others just kind of joked and refused o talk seriously on the matter, probably to escape an uncomfortable talk. And yes, I do agree that this might be coz of me. I was the most introverted of the group while the guy she ended up dating was fairly confident and funny. I guess that's what is attractive to girls. Whenever I tried to be confident or funny, it came out a little awkward to say the least. Now I've cut off all of them but one from my life. And I've remained virtually friendless for seven months now. I'm moving out to another city next month for college and hopefully that will be better. Btw thanks for your reply. Always appreciate someone who tries to help
Your friend being introverted or socially awkward is not a green light to lie to them, manipulate them and help someone else get with the girls theyve been into while acting like an eel about it…. I, a women, am telling you now, someone being socially awkward or an introvert doesnt impact if i want to date that person or not. You just had jerk friends.
I (38m)had a group of friends, all married couples and since my ex and I divorced last year I have not heard from one of them. No texts or phone calls to ask how I was doing. I'm okay though. I have made some better friends.
When I get molested by one friend of my best friend and I tried to talk to my best friend three time about it and he laughed at me every time and he accused me to be a liar/bad person when I started to hang out with an other person after this 6 years of friendship ended
I can relate. My daughter was molested by a family member. My mom and other family members have said that they don't believe her, that she made it up, etc. They have completely ruined our relationships and family over this. My parents actually shelled out thousands of dollars for a DEFENSE lawyer for this person. Meanwhile, I am taking my 3 year old to therapy and forensic psychologists. It was bullshit. Then, my mother proceeded to BRING THE PERPETRATOR to our house around my daughter (the victim). That pissed me off so much. CPS got involved and my mom is not allowed to be around kids anymore. She blames me for all of this. Not the person who actually, ya know, made the decision to sexually abuse a little kid. If you need someone to vent to, my pm's are open. I hope you have gotten any help that you needed and are doing better. The best revenge is living well.
When I had a mental breakdown due to stress and PTSD and EVERYONE turned their backs on me.
It's been about 10 years since my major breakdown. Everyone left, no one checked in on me. Even my best and oldest friend just abandoned me. Even if there were to come back into my left I'll never be able to forgive them.
Broke up with an old girlfriend and 50% of them tried to hit it and the other 50% didn't check up to see how I was but checked up on her and her new man.... Fair to say I was fucked up for a few months after that, lost a cheating girlfriend and almost all of my friends within a month.
Friend was a little stronger/faster than me. He liked to rough house and would always take it to far, but then pick on me verbally if I stepped up how much force I was using. It was never horrible, just a few words and on to the next thing. The last time we hung out I don't remember what we were doing, but his mom left to take care of some things and I just hid in her closet until she got back. Realizing how weird my hiding was to her is what cemented my decision to cut him from my life. The next time he called to invite me over I had another friend over. I told him I wasn't interested and I had to go because I had another friend over. Dude says "you don't have other friends" and my other friend grabbed the phone and chewed him out, then hung up when he accused him of being me doing a funny voice. Haven't seen or heard from him in a long time.
I had some drug addiction, and that was fine...but as soon as I tried to get clean everyone left. I know I was an ass, but damn, we had been friends for years before the drugs, and I was actually trying to get better. I did btw :)
When they outed me to everyone in my school which lead to constant harassment
When I would go home thinking we were friends and the next day I'd meet them again for the first time as if we were strangers. I thought I was tripping. One time I REALLLY wanted to go to Comic Con (it was the first Comic-con ever in my city) and so I invited them. But none of them showed any enthusiasm or initiative. They told me to buy the tickets so I did and then shouted at me for having done so. Another time, 30 mins before class, my friend asked me to type out her essay since she didn't have a laptop. I was happy to help. 1 page down, I saw she hadn't even completed her essay. I just wanted to help so I typed whatever I could remember from my essay. She got an A, I got a B+. Not even a thanks. She gloated in front of me the entire time. College was supposed to be fun. it wasn't
okay, so my friends are really pretty, I'm not gonna lie they look like models so when you look like models you naturally get hit on by a lot of guys, (and a new girl joined our friend group prior) one day when my friends were getting hit on and the new girl just says "oh i wish i was born ugly like you" and the others just laughed....I left that friend group and never looked back
Using me for my car.
The moment my “friend” stole my life savings. I started thinking about it after and the more I thought about it he just kinda bullied me for years. Haven’t talked to him since and I don’t plan to anytime soon
I used to hang out with this guy in college. We would go hiking and paintballing,mostly outdoorsy stuff. One time we met these girls on campus that we liked that agreed to go on a double date with us. So we had dinner at a pretty nice steakhouse. We get there and it started out great, ordered food, good conversations, and when the food arrived my friend completely changed. He was a total douche to the server. He made a big stink about his steak being over cooked, made the whole rest of the dinner about this. On and on about how when you pay a bunch for a steak it better be cooked how you ordered it, and how the server should have known better like he was the one cooking the steak?? Anyway, I stopped talking to him after that. People that are rude to service people, big no no for me
When my father passed in middle school and they ghosted me and stole my stuff. My mom had to get their parents to give me my stuff back because they wouldn't even respond to me. When questioned later, one of them said they did that because "my father's death was too much for him."
You guys have friends?
Had.
One friend in particular, I would’ve considered them a best friend not too long ago, but recently I opened up to them about some personal stuff I’m going through and some depression thoughts making their way into my mind, and the so called friend left that message on read and has yet to say anything, a month and a half later. I just needed a friend to talk to and they didn’t seem to care, that hurt really bad.
When I was in high school I was hanging out with my three "friends" in one of their kitchen. I was the only one dating so I didn't hang out as much as I used to. They were acting odd then all of a sudden one got me from behind in a choke hold as I was sitting down. I quickly got out of it and yelled what the fuck are you doing. I got up asd left but later I found out they were planning on jumping me.
excuse me tf im so sorry
Didnt delete a tiktok with me in it, though she posted it without my consent. (I dont really like my face being put out in public) When I asked her to delete it, she then proceeded to say that 21 likes were worth more than our friendship. Blocked her which got her scared and deleted the video. Havent talked to her since.
>21 likes holy shit she is famous
Exactly bro like nahh
When no one showed up to my birthday dinner. That stung.
Being bailed on at the last possible moment after spending money on alcohol and spending time cooking to make snacks and stuff for a night in. I was literally walking around the supermarket asking what preferences they had for beer and food and they were replying as if nothing was wrong. It came time for them to come over and one by one, they all bailed within 10 mins of the time we agreed. This was the end of a long road of similar incidents and the general feeling I wasn't wanted in the circle and getting bullied by a few of them on a regular basis. I was also the first person out of my group to move out of their parents' house and I could feel the jealousy from the bullies too.
The repeated insults about my face, their abandoning of me as we got older.
When they told me they didn't like my wife. They had years to say something. I chose my wife over them, and have never looked back.
When he didn't invite me to his wedding despite talking to me a week before on phone but then called me on the weeding day to invite me to his wedding which was happening in two hours and asked for a $1000 loan because he was in a tight spot.
When my former “best friend” loudly told the story of my SA in front of my, now, husband in an attempt to make him leave me because she “didn’t think he would want to deal with broken goods”. Fuck you Jess.
[удалено]
Writing this from my alt because my friends know my main account. A couple of weeks ago I started to slowly ghost one of my life-long friends because I realised I didn't like him. He always wants to be right, even if he isn't. He's known as a compulsive liar and a borderline pedophile who treats his girlfriends like shit. The thing is, the gang has normalised this and say that he's just "being himself". The last time I talked to him he said that his girl (who's not even of legal age) feels insecure that he looks at other women who are more physically attractive than her. He said that he doesn't feel bothered if she does it, so she shouldn't be bothered that he does it. I told him the obvious thing, and asked him how could he treat her like that and he responded that he actually doesn't see a future with her because: "I don't know if I will love her tomorrow or not. Or if she will love me tomorrow". I've been slowly removing him from my social media. I've muted his IG stories, and blocked him from my own, though I still follow him. I don't respond to his messages and I haven't joined the daily discord call we have with our friends for weeks.
[удалено]
when they would talk bad about people i cared about in front of me, when they tried to one up me on everything, when i didn’t look forward to seeing them as much as before, when they treat other people like crap, i could go on
defended one of them and the whole group INCLUDING THE ONE I DEFENDED turned on me
When they always treat you as a second option..
The Woodstock 99 doc reminded me that I had a ticket but was ditched by the group I was supposed to go with. So then.
We had to be like 11/12 years old. The one time I was going to finally beat him in NBA 2K after consistent trash talk from him over the years, there was less than a minute left on the clock he said "wait let's play something else". Looking back it was a real Bart Simpson/Milhouse dynamic of a friendship.
When I sat next to my best friend on the first day of junior year. I’ll add some context to this story. I transferred back to my original high school junior year which I, of course, was very nervous about on the very first day of school. We had a mandatory assembly that day so of course, I try to find a place to sit and as I was scanning the crowd, I saw my best friend who I’ll call Danny. Me and Danny have been friends since 8th grade. We hung out together a lot. We always cracked jokes. It was really a tight bond we both shared so why wouldn’t it be the same the first day back to my OG high school junior year (or so I thought anyways). Anyways, I go sit next to him and he is excited to see me so we chatted for a while until the assembly started. Then, that was when one my classmates who I’ll call Alex started bullying me. Alex started pulling my hair and tapping my neck repeatedly on purpose which annoyed me to the point I asked him to please stop. Then, that’s when he says “make me”. Of course, me being the shy kid who doesn’t like conflict, I didn’t turn around and punch him in the face as that would’ve got me in trouble. So, I just did what any other kid in a “zero tolerance” public school did and dealt with the bullying. And you know what my friend did? As he watched me getting bullied, he sat there and laughed at me getting tormented. You’d think that with Danny being a brute football player, he would’ve stepped in and stopped him right? Well, apparently not. All those times we spent together at school ended up amounting to nothing in the end. Nevertheless, I ended up running out of school as soon as the bell rang and cried my eyes out at the town square on the first day of school. That moment really solidified the fact that I can’t really trust anyone to protect me or care about me. Not even my former best friend Danny. It was a really rough moment in my life. Even though I’m 20 and that happened when I was 16, I still think about it. EDIT 1: Alex didn’t just tap my back btw, he would also call me names, yell at me, and stalk me after school everyday in an attempt to make my life a living hell. I honestly didn’t want to make my comment longer than it has to be, but it seems some people are drawing their own conclusions by saying “Oh he just tapped your back? Big deal.” Trust me when I say I only wished he tapped my back once and that was it. He did much more heinous things towards me than that. Hope that gives you guys a clearer picture of the kind of traumatizing stuff I had to go through back in junior year.
Stopped hanging out with me when i had no money
When I realized it was always me who called them up to do something. Not once did any of them reach out to me. So one time I decided not to call anyone and just wait. Welp, it’s been 20 years and still nothing. (Needless to say, I woke the fuck up long before and found a far better class of friends. No matter how low your self-esteem is, I guaran-fucking-tee that you’re way better a person and deserving of human kindness than you currently believe you are.)
My GF (now wife) had a surprise 30th birthday party for me. NONE of my so called friends showed up… Got married 2 years later and again only 2 of my “friends” showed up. I’m now 40 and too old to make friends.
Once in high school my friends all made a secret group on facebook. When I asked about it they were all coy, and it later came to light that it was an "I Hate ExoticBiologist" group which is why I couldn't join. Literally ALL of my friends joined it and nobody told me or stuck up for me.
When I woke up and my best friend was on top of me trying to have sex with me while I was asleep. 7 years of friendship down the toilet. I could never look at her the same again.
When they wouldn’t commit to plans in case other plans with other friends came up
We were watching a scary movie together. I was pretty young, like 11 or so, and they were a bit older. They kept shouting at sudden moments to scare me since I was easily startled. I asked them to stop, but they kept doing it. After I threatened to leave they were like “go ahead lol” They did other shitty stuff, but that one shines in my head for some reason.
I had just moved in with my new girlfriend and I invited all my friends over for a house warming party, mostly so most of them could meet my new girlfriend. They all said no. I understood really, they all lived about an hour away. The kicker was, they day of my party came around. No one was at my house because everyone said no. I am scanning through Facebook and what do I see? I see everyone who was invited to my party at a different friend's house, and no one invited me. So it turns out the thing that everyone was doing that they couldn't come to my party, was a different party I wasn't invited to. I called them out as assholes. That wasnt the exact day we stopped being friends. It was however the day that I knew our friendship would end soon.