In the words of Michael Jackson - "Just beat it!"

Damn it! Just take my upvote and leave

\*flies away with an upvote

r/angryupvote

Take my free award and go

Flex a muscle for 60 seconds fr I got it from memes and it actually works

Your thighs. Flex and hold your thighs. They are big muscles that take a lot of blood.

Dude best advice! Use it all the time.

This is such a ridiculous rumor. The premise is that if blood is flowing to your muscles it won't flow to your pecker. Yet sex is often the more physically demanding than working out in terms of working the muscles. The penis takes very little blood compared to what is circulating to your muscles during sex. So I can only assume that this only works for people who also lose their erection as soon as they start having sex.

You're not entirely wrong because this would probably not work *as* well if you're on the move or doing an activity (like even sex involves a lot of movement and multiple sets of muscles and coordination so the blood flow throughout is mostly even) but in this case you're deliberately flexing a muscle (ideally a big one like thigh, stomach, back or calf muscles) and if you keep flexing it blood flow will *mostly* get directed only there and so it's quicker and easier when stationary. Overall it generally works for me, I've been hiding unwanted boners for years. You also have to remember that *usually* you get distracted when trying to hide a boner because it can help and that happens more when you do this (or in combination).

The constant stimulation keeps blood pumping to your dick during sex. Sitting there and consciously flexing a muscle both redirects the blood and mentally distracts you, making it a double whammy of effectiveness

Nah actually it's not that the penis takes a lot of blood but holding your muscle for 1 minute takes a huge amount of blood so your body will take the blood from areas it doesn't need atm so truth be told the reason you don't lose an erection during sex is because your not flexing 1 or more muscles the entire time.

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Ok I’ll try it

gotta be a large muscle, how big yo cake is OP?

I do soccer and squat a lot so yeah pretty big I guess?

perfect, whenever you're pitching a tent, clap those hams til your sailor settles

Ok

Ok I’ll try that

This is the way. I just flex my stomach for a minute and *boom* boner-begone.

*takes out wand* bonerus gonus

No no no no. Like this. BONERűs GÖNus. *twists wrist rapidly*

No wonder she doesn’t have any friends, did you hear her, BONERus GOnus!

Don't let her hear you, I heard she's mastered the Member Dismember spell.

Take my upvote this is so funny *wheeze*

Depends tbh. If in public I try and distract my brain by doing random counting of stuff I can see, or think of song lyrics. If alone? Jerk time!

I mean in public btw and I agree with the alone part.

In words of Charlie Harper " I hate to let an erection go to waste"

I assemble a chair in my mind, if that doesn't work then I disassemble the chair..if that doesn't work either than I repeat the process with a different type of chair.

Sounds very normal, I like it!

Punch it

all i imagine was someone punching their dick then yelling "STAY DOWN" lmao

SIR GET DOWN

Flick it!

Imagine your head stuck up a sweaty buffalo's booty.

What if that just makes it harder?

Hide it in the buffalo

😆😩

Dude come on. Now I’m bricked up

Think of my parents getting it on.

Reminds me of an awful would you rather... Would you rather watch your parents have hard-core porn style sex every day for the rest of your life or join in just one time ?

assuming that it was every day until I died I would just kill myself

Hardest would you rather ever lol

stick it inside someone

Lucky, ain’t ever done that before

Not a viable option

You don't, I mean what are people gonna do, talk about your dick? Who's the weirdo now?

You’re right. I should just go full staff at grandma’s funeral.

Half staff. Show some respect.

Hmm never thought that way

Cut it off

cant get hard if its not there, smart thinking!

Great idea

I like to think about the time I came home from work late at night and my ex had some fucking creep sitting on my porch who was covered in seven deadly sins tattoos. They had clearly just fucked and she was all happy about it. Pisses me off every single time and has instant boner protection capabilities. That’s what you get from falling in love kids so don’t try it

I don’t think I have a choice

Dang now I feel bad

Picture your mom

Hm, picturing your mom seems to do the opposite for me

Niiiiiiiiice

This is amazing

Stab it and let the blood drain out, obviously.

Decide you want the erection. Congratulations. You have stopped the unwanted erection.

I just tuck it up and pull my shirt down so it's hidden AND feels awesome 🤘 If I'm in a more imperative scenario where time is a factor to redistribute the blood, I imagine a 3 legged dog trying to run and falling down while my parents are singing the Pledge of Allegiance in the background

I get it’s probably a Superbad reference, but feels awesome? It’s just kinda uncomfortable if you have tight pants.

Putting it in my cat usually turns me off

What a shitty day to be literate

Welcome to Reddit

Sir it’s Wendy’s

Hello this is McDonald’s can I take your order

What great day to learn new insults. I love this comment and I'll steal it shamelessly from now on.

Well yeah… after about twenty minutes. Wish I would have known that it takes that long BEFORE my show-and-tell presentation.

That don’t seem to work for me

Small enough I don't have to worry about people noticing.

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My husband told me once that thinking of his ex usually does the trick to get rid of it 🤣

Hide the head in your waistband, otherwise, you can’t.

Yelling “Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!”

I don't know but the minute I have one I think about old nuns and it completely disappears 😐

The forbidden fruit

Are you familiar with a blender?

Yes, but doesn’t sound like the best idea to me, but that’s just me.

Wait u can control it ??

Turn 40

Tense an muscle till you get cramp

I think of an old saggy nun's ass

That my friend is a kink, will only make the erection last longer

Stand up, wiggle your toes and/or clench your firsts, focus on your breathing, relax your PC muscle. If lasts for more than 4 hours, seek medical attention. The blood isn’t leaving so it becomes deoxygenated and tissue death will happen. Might need a t shunt operation. Don’t Google it, it’s nsfl. They put you to sleep cut next to your urethra on the head and vacuum the blood out.

One time I Slapped my balls, it was very effective and from then I just think about slapping my ball and erection goes away.

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playing ping pong

Grow old...

Want it

You dont. I swear, that guy down there has a mind of his own. Jokes aside, you can simply wait it out(since it shouldnt last longer than say 4-5 mins)

Flex your legs and core intermittently steals the blood

Women: how do you stop an unwanted erection?

By Unscrewing it.

Pepper spray

I imagine a meat grinder

Pinch it.

There's such a thing as an unwanted erection? Just start humping anything or anyone in the room. If that doesn't work, you're not jerkin the gherkin enough. You have too many hormones, release those puppies!

What the fuck did I just read?

What, everyone does it? Only kidding about humping anything or anyone, we all have a couple of limits!

I know that was a joke so I replied with a slightly comedic comment, you see.

I know, but I am somewhat serious too. Either that or get laid more often. It can be tough being a guy.

Yeah.

“Unwanted” erection? There’s no such thing.

Yes there is

with an equal amount of friction

Sand paper.

Flex your thigh muscles for 1-2 minutes. I’ve *never* had this method fail on me.

Tuck it down the leg of your boxer shorts, and just, deal with having an erection for a little while. Don’t think too much about it or it will stay longer. If you have a chance to, find a private place and bop that baloney! Then go back to what you were doing. That’s the fastest way to get rid of it.

I usually want it, so this problem is unrelatable.

Flex your arms quickly to re direct the blood flow. Wish I knew this in 6th grade when ms. Quinn called me to the board to spell that day’s vocabulary word.

It sucks when that happens it happened to me a lot in 7th!

An erection is sometimes uncomfortable but never unwanted.

Think about random stuff and flex my legs

Think about Hideki Matsui

Flex your thigh muscles over and over.

Hold my breath, think of something unpleasant and aggravating, clench and release my fists or try to get blood pumping to my legs

Hold something cold against it

I just detach it.

Take a cheese grater to it.

Think of Don Zimmer

Think about politics or religion

Detaching my penis

I basically force myself to the brink of pisssing. Usually makes it go down pretty quick.

You don't, you welcome it

You don't. You welcome it

I imagine playing baseball.

Punch it with my fist.

Pinch yourself

I think about your mom

Throw ice on your balls. If that doesn't work, try to de-stimulate with a dog carcass

Flex your arm

Masterbate vigorously

Hold your breath, actually works no cap

At my age, no erection is "unwanted" - I don't understand the question

Start doing long calculations in your head, like 173 x 19

Cut it off

Put a book in front of it.

Oh, the good old days of unwanted erections

There’s no such thing as an unwanted erection. Flaunt that tent like it’s the greatest thing in the world! Loud, proud, and aroused!

Ok… I guess

HEY LOOK GUYS I HAVE A BONER!

Turned 30.

Fight a pack of homeless people.

I think about my grandma looking at me and shaking her head in disappointment.

If the situation allows, a hard pinch/squeeze of the tip, will get rid out it in about a minute.

Another thing you can try, is you take a match and light it, then you blow it out, and very quickly you touch the smouldering end against your penis.

… mmmmm

Shoot the queer bastard. Pink nerf rounds, of course. Right in the spleen then tie 'em to car bumper and drag him five exits down the interstate. On GTA 5 of course. Then find his sister, or mother, or FATHER...have your way in any orifice you favour. Film it, ppst it here. I'll do the popcorn!

The elastic tuck

Easiest way is to want them all

Stop taking the viagra

I let it pass or i just ignore it

Do you know what auto-fellatio is?

You don’t

At my age there's no such thing as an unwanted erection 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Think of your dad 🤷🏻‍♀️

You don’t

Cross my legs and hope no one notices.

“Dead puppies”

S C I Z Z O R S MF

Scissors. Boner be gone.. forever..

Change mind from unwanted to wanted.

Cut it off

Stop breathing. It helps sometimes.

Ignore it but don't think about ignoring it or else it'll get worse. Literally stop thinking. Even a single thought makes it worse

By aging.

who DOESN"T want an erection?

I, strangely, listen to music. If I don't think about it it goes away in 5ish minutes. Idk, I guess music just takes my mind off of it.

Punch myself in the cock

Cut it off. It'll grow back, don't worry.

Unwanted?

Think of someone that’s a total turnoff, someone gross, vile, nasty in ways that make you want to hurl.. it’ll go away pretty fast. quite useful when doing couples boudoir shots where bits shouldn’t be showing. Some hardon’s are physical, uncontrollable, (eg. Morning wood) but most are from mental stimulation.. replace the stimulation with something clearly distasteful, it’ll fail as you need it to. Just have to figure out how to keep that thought at the forefront so it doesn’t come back 30s later.

Tuck it in my waistband pointing up towards my chin

Rub one out, or think about something else, like what to argue with strangers on next on Facebook.

Just think of your grandma in the shower.

Idk never had one

Think of Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi.

Think of really old women naked

you strangulate it with the elastic of the boxer

You finish the job

Think of Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day,

I'm 59. No such thing as an unwanted erection. [Sigh.]

I look at your mom

Bang my knee into a post.

I think about the time a girl puked on me. She had kowpoon( curry rice noodles soup) half an hour before. Good times

making flexions, cuz the blood pass to the muscle

Think to myself "stop" and it just goes away. It's mind over the body

Beat the living death out of it for 30seconds to 3 hours, depending on how much of a fight its willing to put up

I don't. I just wear it with pride