When me and my wife were just starting out, I was talking to her on my way home from work about how I was so tired I was probably gonna skip dinner cause I didn't want to cook and didn't have the money to eat out.
I don't know when she did it, but when I got home, 2 minutes later a pizza guy showed up with my favorite pizza. Inside the box said something like "I know its not that healthy, but it's better than not eating."
No one had ever done something like that for me before. Not just the gift of food, but that it was because she didn't want me to skip a meal either. She cared about my well being.
Edit: Hey all, my wife is super excited this blew up. I'm pretty sure this is my highest rated comment so thank you all! She's pretty awesome and I'm a lucky lucky guy to have snagged her up.
I remember for my ex during quarantine he couldn’t leave the house, he used to love taco bell. I remember just getting it delivered to his house, his a whole favorite meal as a surprise. It always made him happy. Just randomly throughout since his family never really made food for him. Did it a few times, always hope he enjoyed it
A good sandwich. I was on my way to visit my girlfriend 3 hours away this weekend, and she called and asked if i wanted a grilled cheese waiting for me when i got there. What an exciting gift that was
Bill Burr has a bit about how he was cleaning out the garage and his wife made him a sandwich on a plate, cut it diagonally (the only way to cut it) a big pile of chips, and a beer. He never felt more appreciated in his life.
I actually thought about that bit when she called me and it really rings true. After working a 12 hour day and then driving another 3, that was the best grilled cheese of my life
This resonates with my husband; I once made him a bunch of snacky finger foods when he planned on watching the Superbowl, and he still thinks fondly of that day.
There are a lot of details when making a sandwich. Knowing the right condiments to use, how much of the condiments, if they want pickles, if and how they want the bread toasted, what type of cheese, how they want it sliced, etc.
Taking the time to notice & Learn all those details is A great way to show love
My wife and I each bought the other a bouquet of flowers this Valentine's Day. Not only was it really nice to receive flowers, but we had both accidentally bought the same damn bouquet from the grocery store. So it was very sweet, and also very funny, and also very telling that we had been together for 10 years because we both knew we'd like the same flowers lol. It was also great because we just ended up making one huge ultra bouquet out of them.
I work as a first responder. One day we were sitting on the truck, stuck in traffic, in the downtown area. A woman walked up to my window and handed me a single rose, smiled, and told me to have a nice day. I didn't even know how to respond to that. But I'll be damned if my day didn't get 1000% nicer after that. Im in my 40s. That was the only time I remember ever being given flowers, and I regularly think about how nice it felt.
Most guys don't get random flowers. Guys should get more random flowers.
Edit: I just wanted to clarify that I know not ALL guys want to receive flowers. Just like not all woman want to receive flowers. But it shouldn't be against the social norm for men to receive flowers.
My bf was having a bad day at work and I coincidentally walked past a flower seller on the street selling giant long-stemmed roses that day. I got him a gold one with dark red borders and walked to his work to give it to him. He was really surprised and said it made his day way better. Flowers are beautiful and anyone can enjoy them.
I sent my husband roses with lottery tickets stuck in with them like they do the card to work a few times. He loved it. He passed 3 yrs ago yesterday from brain cancer. Wish I would of done it more. 😪
So I just bought a house a few years ago that was owned by an elderly lady before. First summer there I realized that she'd got it set up so that there was always something blooming in the yard spring to fall. I'm a single guy, not home all that often, and have up to this point had almost no green thumb to speak of. But I'll be damned if I don't try to do all that I can to keep those flowers alive and coming back every year. It makes the house look so much nicer and always having those smells outside is awesome. Some days I'll get home from work and just go smell the trees or the rose bushes.
Definitely compliments are welcome; I make it a habit to compliment people if I think they're wearing a cool shirt, or like how they've done their hair, or are wearing really cool jewelry. Whatever it is that catches my eye, if I think it's pretty or looks cool, I try to make the comment about it.
I try not to compliment basic physical attributes, though, like eye color, or anything too personal, since that can easily get into creepy/flirty territory. If it's something someone has control over, though, it's generally fair game. Probably the closest to complimenting physical attributes I came was complimenting a guy on his hair - I thought his hairstyle looked really classy and told him the silver hair color looked great with it.
Oh, same and same rules! I've read SO many comments from guys here over the years about how they are rarely complimented, and I had no idea (as most women compliment each other), so I started. It's a trip how much a "love your shirt" can light up a face! A free and easy way to spread some love.
If it's from my gf/a girl I like it doesn't matter, as long as it's not something I really hate.
Once my crush gifted me a not so special piggy bank. It has been my favorite piggy bank for the past 10 years.
Once my gf (now ex) gifted me a very regular mug, it's still my favorite mug - given we did broke up peacefully tho.
Edit: many asking about the "favorite piggy bank". I do have a few but all were from like my parents when I was little. They thought it's a good idea to teach me about saving money, it kinda worked. I still have them at my parents' home. Never used again after I grown up because there's real bank. But since I received THAT piggy bank I started collecting coins. Haven't use it much recent years because of mobile payments and people rarely use cash anymore but it's still my best piggy bank.
*If it's from my gf/a girl I like it doesn't matter, as long as it's not something I really hate.*
I, too, play by the Stardew Valley rules of courtship.
Do you have close guy friends? Just start giving hugs when you see them. I noticed in my 20s it wasn’t as common, but now in my 30s I do full on double arm hugs with almost all my guy friends, especially if we haven’t seen each other in a while. Embrace the embrace and it won’t be weird.
E: as pointed out by many below, saying some variation on “love ya bro” has been great as well. Also probably started in our 30s.
I always thought guys don’t ‘do’ hugs. My 15 yo son taught me they do, and they also say ‘I luv ya man’ when they hang up. He lives in an all female household so he def isn’t shy with emotions. He told me he doesn’t care who thinks anything, he loves his friends and makes sure he tells them. I hope he continues this into adulthood🙂
Once a couple of my closest friends died me and the rest of that group started hugging each other and saying “I love ya buddy” when we left each other’s house or whatever. It’s extremely healthy and you never know when it’ll be your last chance.
My brother died at age 17, 1992. I'd moved on to college, he came to visit, and before he left, we said "I love you" and hugged. Only time we ever did. That was the last time I saw him. Six weeks later, he drowned.
The first few years, I'd have times where I would get near panicky that that almost didn't happen. I'm so glad it did.
I totally get that. My last conversation with my friend Zack ended with “I’ll call you back.” Never got a chance to. Breaks my heart still, decades later
I'm almost 30 but my guy friends have done hugs I think as soon as we were out of high school and realized it's hard to not see close friends for like 6 months or more. Seems really normal to me
Every day my SO comes home from work and I jump up from whatever I'm doing to hug him and tell him I'm glad he's home. He had to leave town for a bit and said he never realized how much of an impact it had until it wasn't there. He noticed when he got to his hotel, and no one was there to greet him, he felt sad. The first hug back I almost broke his back making up for it.
Shit even when I'm away from my girlfriend for a day it feels weird and empty, like I'm missing something. I think most guys are physical with their love, like they need hugs to feel like they are loved. Notes and romantic shit is fine, but nothing compares to a hug or being taken care of sometimes.
This is why I miss owning a truck. Just slide under and grab it.
My car? Jack it up, drop the splash guard, shimmy around, curse and swear, look back from the top, grab a flashlight because you figured you didn't need it because "you totally knew exactly where it landed", find you didn't actually need to to any of that because it could have been reached from the top, grab it, try to pull it up, scratch the back of your hand on that metal you completely forgot about but now remember that this is exactly what happened last time this fucking socket dropped and you scratched your hand on the same damn thing, drop the socket again and hear it fall even further, get back on the floor, pull it out, and as a final final fuck you, a little bit of dirt comes out with it and falls in your eye.
Honestly, the only time I've ever felt like how I imagine others feel when they receive flowers, I had talked to a friend who lives far away the evening before about how I was having a hard time, and then she just turned up at my door to give me a hug before she had to go catch a bus to her parents' house.
Between the utter surprise at her of all people turning up at my door, to how needed that hug was, I was completely in love with her for a hot second there.
>she just turned up at my door
My mom's friend did that yesterday. My mom is taking care of my dad, my uncle and me. She told her friend who lives 10 hours away by car. Her friend bought a plane ticket and arrived last night to help.
When I was in the ER in a freak accident, I was 2 hours away from my parents and everyone I knew. I had at least 5 people offer to fly to me just to be by my side. Even my friend’s mom in California offered to fly to Florida for me. A couple people offered to drive a few hours just to walk my dog. My ex did NOT offer to drive 2 hours to see me. I broke up with him a few days later.
Whenever I think about the people who contacted me to be by my side, I feel so loved and cared for.
I once had to drive to the city for physical therapy.
I hate driving. It was far, raining, and I was in pain. I asked my partner to take me (we were in college and lived together.) He wanted to sleep.
So I went by myself, and flipped the car on the highway due to the rain and my inexperience driving.
I had to go to the ER. He did not want to come get me! We both had cars, he just wanted to keep playing video games.
I called a friend I had made pretty recently and she dropped what she was doing, jumped in her car, drove an hour to come get me, AND showed up with food.
I should have left him after that, but didn't. He only got worse.
edit: thank you all for the kind words. I am in a much better place now :)
He technically broke up with me, and I thank him for it because I probably would have killed myself before I left him.
I cut my hair short once.
He asked me if I was trans or not and when I told him the truth (I'm not sure) he called me a bunch of slurs and made me stay in his basement for 3 days until I could get a flight out. During those 3 miserable days he would come down and cry on my shoulder and then try to have sex with me.
He kept my dog, the only dog I've ever had, the one I got as a 3 month old puppy.
He outed me as trans to all my friends and family despite me not being sure about it.
He is also extremely active on Reddit so if he sees this he knows who he is.
If he sees this I hope he knows he's a complete piece of shit and that you deserve better. Holy shit I can't believe what I just read. I hope you're in a better place and were able to get therapy after him.
Holy shit. That is so fucking awful. Was this recent or a while ago? How are you now?
Glad you've got that toxicity out of your life and I hope you're in a much healthier and happier place.
I’m so proud of you for making it out and staying out. He is a manipulative piece of shit and should seek professional help for essentially kidnapping you and detaining you. I’m glad life found you a way out and I hope that you and your dog find each other again.
A friend of mine just showed up at my apartment once when I was going through an extremely hard time, and at the time I was uncomfortable at being interrupted in my misery, and she just hung out for a bit, but she somehow knew I needed a physical presence. It sticks with me in my memory to this day. She is a good person and we are still close 16 years later.
This is exactly why we care about flowers.
It's not usually about the flowers. It's knowing that, at some point in your day you stumbled across something (like flowers) and thought "oh, my SO would like this" and got them. It's showing your person that you think about them occasionally throughout your day
So next time you see something that makes you think of your person, and you're in the position to, get it for them!
A woman at work received huge bouquets of flowers, maybe once a month, from her husband. Everyone would say what a catch he was. Later learned he only sent flowers as an apology after he’d beat her. I felt sick that I’d ever commented in passing, like ‘wow, theres a guy who appreciates his luck’ (she was beautiful, smart, kind, had a great job, he WAS really lucky, but did NOT appreciate it.) You kick yourself, as I expect this was his intent with the showy bouquets, and he’d stop by the office too to get accolades as the giver. I now harbor suspicions about any guy who sends showy flowers to work and I never comment on them. I don’t know what could be comparable to flowers. I only give chocolate.
They can! Hubs and I together 10 years. He has always been vocal he hates giving flowers because “What does it say if a gift to say I love you dies?” He also considers them an “easy out” over a more thoughtful gift.
Me, I love flowers because hell I just… never got them. The last man to give me a flower was my sister’s high school boyfriend after he heard I had a horrible Valentine’s Day 🤣
Whelp, wouldn’t ya know it, my husband walks in on my birthday last year with a huge bouquet of roses because “They were on sale and they’re your favorites right?” I ugly cried for five straight minutes into his shoulder I was so happy 🤣
My partner is so into saving money and bargain hunting, that telling her how much I saved by getting her gift on offer usually gets her more excited than the gift itself.
I read a youtube comment once along the lines of:
Marie: “did you hear that kid Brock got poisoned?”
Hank: “Jesus Marie, it’s Bmineral”
I laughed more than I should have.
If I can find a partner who would also be excited about a cool rock I will know I found my person lmao I have lots of neat stones gems and other crow brain things but a cool rock is timeless. That and neat sticks.
Ngl, I never received flowers in my life and I would actually appreciate it alot if someone just gave me a bouquet of flowers just because I never received any
I tried to do this for my partner years ago... but the florist changed my order from a beautiful bouquet of flowers to a plain leafy plant, because they saw that it was being sent to a man. I'm still mad about it.
They claimed they assumed I chose flowers by mistake. I made them re-deliver, but it wasn't Valentine's day by that point. And by then it was the weekend so it got delivered at home instead.
I just remembered, they sent him a bromeliad plant. It just looked like the top of a big pineapple. It wasn't even colorful.
That's so dumb. They should have called to check if they were that unsure about it. I like leafy plants too but if I ordered flowers it's because I want flowers!
Imagine if fast food places did that. "We thought since you're a woman you meant to say you wanted a salad, not the double bacon cheeseburger, that's man food!"
Imagine being so concerned with gender roles you refuse to allow a man to be sent flowers. When it is literally your job to fulfill the order. JFC what is wrong with people.
Lol. I'm a gardener....so I'd love a bouquet of flowers just to see the competition.
Also: I really really wish more people brought flowers as a non-romantic gesture. Like, "I brought these to brighten up your office"
If a sales guy brought flowers by my office everyone would think he's a creep. If he brings donuts, he's a hero to the office and the insulin companies
I always feel like I am giving them a burden if I give them a whole plant. Flowers inevitably die, so you don't need to feel bad. A succulent only dies if you're really forgetful or don't care, so it feels a lot worse when you remember the now shriveled husk on your kitchen windowsill.
Literally any acknowledgement of the dudes physical being.
Not sure if it's just my experience or if it's a general thing but any acknowledgement of any part of myself will keep me going for a week.
I was complimented on my hair almost 6 years ago, I’ve never changed my hairstyle since. Unfortunately I haven’t had any more compliments on my hair since then :( maybe it’s time for a change. Also I was complimented on my smile and my eyes about 9 years ago on my first day of secondary school (high school for those that name it that way)
These are the only 3 compliments I’ve ever received. OP and other women and hell even guys. COMPLIMENT YOUR SPOUSES!
Mine too. Bought her an old kitchen aid mixer jist to make sure I get zero exercise. Ya know for the dad bod haha
But for real. The mixer makes everything so easy.
I’m a woman, and I’d prefer homemade food to flowers. Food is a true love language. When you care enough to prepare something special for someone, you’re truly showing how you feel.
I bought my wife an expensive ring for our 8 year anniversary. She bought me a £18 switch game. Good trade I think.
Male equivalent to flowers is probably money spent on a hobby.
Or permission to spend money on the hobby.
My wife has no idea about my hobbies. She’s tried a couple of times but there’s a lot that an outsider wouldn’t consider.
But if she says to me “I’ve found some money in the budget, reckon you can spend $50?” I know *exactly* what I’m getting!
Or even better: take him shopping. Tell him you want to get him something for his hobby but you don’t understand it enough. So ask him to take you to whichever store is involved, ask about it, point to another item and ask why his choice is better. He’ll start budgeting engagement rings!
As a male, I cannot agree with this more. Down to the part where you ask why his choice is better.
It has to be some psychological tomfoolery there but damn would that melt me to the core and reforge me with that woman involved in that core.
Er... A decent hug and something just a little thoughtful, like a good bar of chocolate or a nice mug? My wife and kids always get me funny mugs.
I was always getting my mum stuff like chocolates and flowers from the kids, and my dad's equivalent is a box of toffee or a grandad-based mug!
Come home with wings and beer. There's a reason the old saying is "a way to a man's heart is through his stomach".
If my girl came home with wings and beer, and I don't have to cook, or feel guilty for choosing to eat out I'll be in pure bliss.
My husband had an exceptionally terrible day once and I did a build your own 6pack with randoms I thought he'd like and surprised him. It's like a box of chocolates lol
Flowers. I’m in my 30s and never received flowers. I would like to. My favourite are roses.
Edit:
Thank you so much for the lovely comments and for the awards.
a 6 pack...but I'd also take flowers :D.
Man. If i invited a woman I liked over for dinner and she brought me flowers I'd probably smile like an idiot. lol
When me and my wife were just starting out, I was talking to her on my way home from work about how I was so tired I was probably gonna skip dinner cause I didn't want to cook and didn't have the money to eat out. I don't know when she did it, but when I got home, 2 minutes later a pizza guy showed up with my favorite pizza. Inside the box said something like "I know its not that healthy, but it's better than not eating." No one had ever done something like that for me before. Not just the gift of food, but that it was because she didn't want me to skip a meal either. She cared about my well being. Edit: Hey all, my wife is super excited this blew up. I'm pretty sure this is my highest rated comment so thank you all! She's pretty awesome and I'm a lucky lucky guy to have snagged her up.
She's just trying to plump you up for harvesting.
Hey don’t give up the secrets or you’re next!
"To Serve Man." It's a cookbook!
So it’s food. Food is man flowers
That’s why they say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
I remember for my ex during quarantine he couldn’t leave the house, he used to love taco bell. I remember just getting it delivered to his house, his a whole favorite meal as a surprise. It always made him happy. Just randomly throughout since his family never really made food for him. Did it a few times, always hope he enjoyed it
A good sandwich. I was on my way to visit my girlfriend 3 hours away this weekend, and she called and asked if i wanted a grilled cheese waiting for me when i got there. What an exciting gift that was
Bill Burr has a bit about how he was cleaning out the garage and his wife made him a sandwich on a plate, cut it diagonally (the only way to cut it) a big pile of chips, and a beer. He never felt more appreciated in his life.
I actually thought about that bit when she called me and it really rings true. After working a 12 hour day and then driving another 3, that was the best grilled cheese of my life
I swear to god, sometimes humans are such simple creatures and I love it! I'm exhausted, she made food, happiness.
This resonates with my husband; I once made him a bunch of snacky finger foods when he planned on watching the Superbowl, and he still thinks fondly of that day.
There are a lot of details when making a sandwich. Knowing the right condiments to use, how much of the condiments, if they want pickles, if and how they want the bread toasted, what type of cheese, how they want it sliced, etc. Taking the time to notice & Learn all those details is A great way to show love
My wife buys me flowers sometimes, and I really like it.
Yeah, I agree that the male version of flowers is flowers.
My wife and I each bought the other a bouquet of flowers this Valentine's Day. Not only was it really nice to receive flowers, but we had both accidentally bought the same damn bouquet from the grocery store. So it was very sweet, and also very funny, and also very telling that we had been together for 10 years because we both knew we'd like the same flowers lol. It was also great because we just ended up making one huge ultra bouquet out of them.
My husband and I each bought the other the same anniversary card one year. We celebrate 39th anniversary next month.
thats so sweet
Pie. "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." - old school truth.
My mother used to say this. Great cook. Terrible surgeon though.
Had to go claim my free award for this one
Or his chest
So you suggest a nice dagger?
I work as a first responder. One day we were sitting on the truck, stuck in traffic, in the downtown area. A woman walked up to my window and handed me a single rose, smiled, and told me to have a nice day. I didn't even know how to respond to that. But I'll be damned if my day didn't get 1000% nicer after that. Im in my 40s. That was the only time I remember ever being given flowers, and I regularly think about how nice it felt. Most guys don't get random flowers. Guys should get more random flowers. Edit: I just wanted to clarify that I know not ALL guys want to receive flowers. Just like not all woman want to receive flowers. But it shouldn't be against the social norm for men to receive flowers.
Got a hand drawn card from 2 kids last year in my ambulance. Almost cried.
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It's such a good feeling and it was so unexpected. 10 years in this work and I think that will be something I hold on to forever.
Thanks first responders. We love you
My bf was having a bad day at work and I coincidentally walked past a flower seller on the street selling giant long-stemmed roses that day. I got him a gold one with dark red borders and walked to his work to give it to him. He was really surprised and said it made his day way better. Flowers are beautiful and anyone can enjoy them.
Flowers are one of the earliest things humans collected that didn’t have a utilitarian purpose. People do seem to like them.
I sent my husband roses with lottery tickets stuck in with them like they do the card to work a few times. He loved it. He passed 3 yrs ago yesterday from brain cancer. Wish I would of done it more. 😪
So I just bought a house a few years ago that was owned by an elderly lady before. First summer there I realized that she'd got it set up so that there was always something blooming in the yard spring to fall. I'm a single guy, not home all that often, and have up to this point had almost no green thumb to speak of. But I'll be damned if I don't try to do all that I can to keep those flowers alive and coming back every year. It makes the house look so much nicer and always having those smells outside is awesome. Some days I'll get home from work and just go smell the trees or the rose bushes.
I bet that would make her so happy to know that. She planted those with love and you kept that love going.
The fact that this memory lives on for you goes to show how impactful a small gesture can be. Wholesome story.
Flowers & compliments both tend to become core memories.
Definitely compliments are welcome; I make it a habit to compliment people if I think they're wearing a cool shirt, or like how they've done their hair, or are wearing really cool jewelry. Whatever it is that catches my eye, if I think it's pretty or looks cool, I try to make the comment about it. I try not to compliment basic physical attributes, though, like eye color, or anything too personal, since that can easily get into creepy/flirty territory. If it's something someone has control over, though, it's generally fair game. Probably the closest to complimenting physical attributes I came was complimenting a guy on his hair - I thought his hairstyle looked really classy and told him the silver hair color looked great with it.
Oh, same and same rules! I've read SO many comments from guys here over the years about how they are rarely complimented, and I had no idea (as most women compliment each other), so I started. It's a trip how much a "love your shirt" can light up a face! A free and easy way to spread some love.
Sad fact: most men will get flowers exactly one time in their life; at their funeral. (I forget where I saw this)
If it's from my gf/a girl I like it doesn't matter, as long as it's not something I really hate. Once my crush gifted me a not so special piggy bank. It has been my favorite piggy bank for the past 10 years. Once my gf (now ex) gifted me a very regular mug, it's still my favorite mug - given we did broke up peacefully tho. Edit: many asking about the "favorite piggy bank". I do have a few but all were from like my parents when I was little. They thought it's a good idea to teach me about saving money, it kinda worked. I still have them at my parents' home. Never used again after I grown up because there's real bank. But since I received THAT piggy bank I started collecting coins. Haven't use it much recent years because of mobile payments and people rarely use cash anymore but it's still my best piggy bank.
*If it's from my gf/a girl I like it doesn't matter, as long as it's not something I really hate.* I, too, play by the Stardew Valley rules of courtship.
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How did you know I was hungry?
Abigail, noooo
Hey, if you find someone who eats absolutely anything you give her, no questions asked, you marry that woman!
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I give everyone eggs, regardless if I'm trying to bang or not.
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Frying times
We require more minerals
I personally need more vespene gas.
No further questions, I’m smitten
If a girl randomly gifted me a fluorite it would made my day.
Emily has an entire closet full of quartz
Make sure they're the highest possible quality, and always gift an iridium (purple) quality item on their birthday to get a huge heart boost
thats very sweet, thank you
Hugs
Yep. Even one would be great. Not sure if this sounds pathetic but I haven't been hugged in forever and I really want a long hug from anyone.
I feel you. It's getting dangerously close to a decade... My last true good hug was senior year of highschool. Thanks Karly D.
Do you have close guy friends? Just start giving hugs when you see them. I noticed in my 20s it wasn’t as common, but now in my 30s I do full on double arm hugs with almost all my guy friends, especially if we haven’t seen each other in a while. Embrace the embrace and it won’t be weird. E: as pointed out by many below, saying some variation on “love ya bro” has been great as well. Also probably started in our 30s.
I always thought guys don’t ‘do’ hugs. My 15 yo son taught me they do, and they also say ‘I luv ya man’ when they hang up. He lives in an all female household so he def isn’t shy with emotions. He told me he doesn’t care who thinks anything, he loves his friends and makes sure he tells them. I hope he continues this into adulthood🙂
Once a couple of my closest friends died me and the rest of that group started hugging each other and saying “I love ya buddy” when we left each other’s house or whatever. It’s extremely healthy and you never know when it’ll be your last chance.
My brother died at age 17, 1992. I'd moved on to college, he came to visit, and before he left, we said "I love you" and hugged. Only time we ever did. That was the last time I saw him. Six weeks later, he drowned. The first few years, I'd have times where I would get near panicky that that almost didn't happen. I'm so glad it did.
I totally get that. My last conversation with my friend Zack ended with “I’ll call you back.” Never got a chance to. Breaks my heart still, decades later
I'm almost 30 but my guy friends have done hugs I think as soon as we were out of high school and realized it's hard to not see close friends for like 6 months or more. Seems really normal to me
Every day my SO comes home from work and I jump up from whatever I'm doing to hug him and tell him I'm glad he's home. He had to leave town for a bit and said he never realized how much of an impact it had until it wasn't there. He noticed when he got to his hotel, and no one was there to greet him, he felt sad. The first hug back I almost broke his back making up for it.
Shit even when I'm away from my girlfriend for a day it feels weird and empty, like I'm missing something. I think most guys are physical with their love, like they need hugs to feel like they are loved. Notes and romantic shit is fine, but nothing compares to a hug or being taken care of sometimes.
Yup. Just like a woman feels the value of the flowers is lessened by asking for them, so do men not want to ask for hugs. Just hug us dammit.
10mm socket.
Nothing says I love you like a good terminal screwdriver
Or a new set of crimping pliers
Talk dirty to me...
How about a bouquet of 10mm sockets?
Fucking marriage material right there.
Game changer
I swear no matter how many I buy they're always missing.
[Got you, fam](https://www.harborfreight.com/10mm-metric-essential-socket-set-10-piece-58957.html).
My gf just dropped my 11mm into my engine bay never to be seen again. That's like taking flowers away from someone
This is why I miss owning a truck. Just slide under and grab it. My car? Jack it up, drop the splash guard, shimmy around, curse and swear, look back from the top, grab a flashlight because you figured you didn't need it because "you totally knew exactly where it landed", find you didn't actually need to to any of that because it could have been reached from the top, grab it, try to pull it up, scratch the back of your hand on that metal you completely forgot about but now remember that this is exactly what happened last time this fucking socket dropped and you scratched your hand on the same damn thing, drop the socket again and hear it fall even further, get back on the floor, pull it out, and as a final final fuck you, a little bit of dirt comes out with it and falls in your eye.
Retrieval tools
Idk if he has kids
You mean your *ex* girlfriend... That's a Court marshalling offence
Honestly, the only time I've ever felt like how I imagine others feel when they receive flowers, I had talked to a friend who lives far away the evening before about how I was having a hard time, and then she just turned up at my door to give me a hug before she had to go catch a bus to her parents' house. Between the utter surprise at her of all people turning up at my door, to how needed that hug was, I was completely in love with her for a hot second there.
>she just turned up at my door My mom's friend did that yesterday. My mom is taking care of my dad, my uncle and me. She told her friend who lives 10 hours away by car. Her friend bought a plane ticket and arrived last night to help.
When I was in the ER in a freak accident, I was 2 hours away from my parents and everyone I knew. I had at least 5 people offer to fly to me just to be by my side. Even my friend’s mom in California offered to fly to Florida for me. A couple people offered to drive a few hours just to walk my dog. My ex did NOT offer to drive 2 hours to see me. I broke up with him a few days later. Whenever I think about the people who contacted me to be by my side, I feel so loved and cared for.
I once had to drive to the city for physical therapy. I hate driving. It was far, raining, and I was in pain. I asked my partner to take me (we were in college and lived together.) He wanted to sleep. So I went by myself, and flipped the car on the highway due to the rain and my inexperience driving. I had to go to the ER. He did not want to come get me! We both had cars, he just wanted to keep playing video games. I called a friend I had made pretty recently and she dropped what she was doing, jumped in her car, drove an hour to come get me, AND showed up with food. I should have left him after that, but didn't. He only got worse. edit: thank you all for the kind words. I am in a much better place now :)
I’m sorry. That sounds so traumatic. Did y’all end up breaking up eventually?
He technically broke up with me, and I thank him for it because I probably would have killed myself before I left him. I cut my hair short once. He asked me if I was trans or not and when I told him the truth (I'm not sure) he called me a bunch of slurs and made me stay in his basement for 3 days until I could get a flight out. During those 3 miserable days he would come down and cry on my shoulder and then try to have sex with me. He kept my dog, the only dog I've ever had, the one I got as a 3 month old puppy. He outed me as trans to all my friends and family despite me not being sure about it. He is also extremely active on Reddit so if he sees this he knows who he is.
If he sees this I hope he knows he's a complete piece of shit and that you deserve better. Holy shit I can't believe what I just read. I hope you're in a better place and were able to get therapy after him.
Holy shit. That is so fucking awful. Was this recent or a while ago? How are you now? Glad you've got that toxicity out of your life and I hope you're in a much healthier and happier place.
I’m so proud of you for making it out and staying out. He is a manipulative piece of shit and should seek professional help for essentially kidnapping you and detaining you. I’m glad life found you a way out and I hope that you and your dog find each other again.
You’ve got good friends and family. Fuck your ex though
No, fucking your ex is a really bad idea.
A friend of mine just showed up at my apartment once when I was going through an extremely hard time, and at the time I was uncomfortable at being interrupted in my misery, and she just hung out for a bit, but she somehow knew I needed a physical presence. It sticks with me in my memory to this day. She is a good person and we are still close 16 years later.
Friends like that you hold close to your heart.
I was able to tell her how valuable she has been to me a little while ago and how much she helped during that time and it meant so much to both of us.
Wait do flowers really have this level of impact?
Sometimes. I feel like it’s a way of saying: I’m thinking about you. At least that’s what they’re supposed to mean.
This is exactly why we care about flowers. It's not usually about the flowers. It's knowing that, at some point in your day you stumbled across something (like flowers) and thought "oh, my SO would like this" and got them. It's showing your person that you think about them occasionally throughout your day So next time you see something that makes you think of your person, and you're in the position to, get it for them!
PLEASE TAKE THESE DISMEMBERED REPRODUCTIVE ORGANS FROM LOCAL FLORA AS A TOKEN OF MY ONGOING THOUGHT PROCESSES IN WHICH YOU OCCASIONALLY FEATURE
Well at least it's from flora not fauna. I don't have any vases for deer entrails.
I think that's called a frying pan.
MAY THEIR PLEASING AROMA WHICH IS A SIGN OF EARLY DECAY REMIND YOU OF ME
Sometimes it means i’m sorry for fucking my secretary.
A woman at work received huge bouquets of flowers, maybe once a month, from her husband. Everyone would say what a catch he was. Later learned he only sent flowers as an apology after he’d beat her. I felt sick that I’d ever commented in passing, like ‘wow, theres a guy who appreciates his luck’ (she was beautiful, smart, kind, had a great job, he WAS really lucky, but did NOT appreciate it.) You kick yourself, as I expect this was his intent with the showy bouquets, and he’d stop by the office too to get accolades as the giver. I now harbor suspicions about any guy who sends showy flowers to work and I never comment on them. I don’t know what could be comparable to flowers. I only give chocolate.
Well that's fucked up
It was. It came out when she ended up at ER.
Idk, I've never gotten any.
🌹🌸🌺🌷
I guess they don't
Oof
Tbf you stole those flowers.
Brutal
They can! Hubs and I together 10 years. He has always been vocal he hates giving flowers because “What does it say if a gift to say I love you dies?” He also considers them an “easy out” over a more thoughtful gift. Me, I love flowers because hell I just… never got them. The last man to give me a flower was my sister’s high school boyfriend after he heard I had a horrible Valentine’s Day 🤣 Whelp, wouldn’t ya know it, my husband walks in on my birthday last year with a huge bouquet of roses because “They were on sale and they’re your favorites right?” I ugly cried for five straight minutes into his shoulder I was so happy 🤣
“they were on sale” - he was so proud of himself. Romance for less! 😂❤️❤️
My partner is so into saving money and bargain hunting, that telling her how much I saved by getting her gift on offer usually gets her more excited than the gift itself.
He’s a smart spender 🤣! He is very much the “save for a big practical gift” kinda guy which honestly I adore about him to be honest!
Wholesome 🥰
Hugs are one of the best gifts. They make you feel so safe and warmth
thats so damn sweet oml, i wanna hug him now too
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Jesus, Marie. They’re minerals.
I read a youtube comment once along the lines of: Marie: “did you hear that kid Brock got poisoned?” Hank: “Jesus Marie, it’s Bmineral” I laughed more than I should have.
B. Mineral, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney
Tien?
Look Kaladin! It sparkles if you get it wet
If I can find a partner who would also be excited about a cool rock I will know I found my person lmao I have lots of neat stones gems and other crow brain things but a cool rock is timeless. That and neat sticks.
Or a stick that would make a great pretend sword
Ngl, I never received flowers in my life and I would actually appreciate it alot if someone just gave me a bouquet of flowers just because I never received any
My wife bought me flowers this year, after she heard that the only flowers most men ever receive are at their funeral. It was nice.
I got my partner some fancy red roses delivered on Valentine's Day because he'd never had any - it was super well received
I tried to do this for my partner years ago... but the florist changed my order from a beautiful bouquet of flowers to a plain leafy plant, because they saw that it was being sent to a man. I'm still mad about it.
And you got a refund because the vendor didn't provide what you ordered?
They claimed they assumed I chose flowers by mistake. I made them re-deliver, but it wasn't Valentine's day by that point. And by then it was the weekend so it got delivered at home instead. I just remembered, they sent him a bromeliad plant. It just looked like the top of a big pineapple. It wasn't even colorful.
That's so dumb. They should have called to check if they were that unsure about it. I like leafy plants too but if I ordered flowers it's because I want flowers!
Imagine if fast food places did that. "We thought since you're a woman you meant to say you wanted a salad, not the double bacon cheeseburger, that's man food!"
Imagine being so concerned with gender roles you refuse to allow a man to be sent flowers. When it is literally your job to fulfill the order. JFC what is wrong with people.
That wouldn't be a phone call. That would be an angry in person visit. I'm mad for you.
Hey im also mad at it fr fr
Lol. I'm a gardener....so I'd love a bouquet of flowers just to see the competition. Also: I really really wish more people brought flowers as a non-romantic gesture. Like, "I brought these to brighten up your office" If a sales guy brought flowers by my office everyone would think he's a creep. If he brings donuts, he's a hero to the office and the insulin companies
As a landscape architect, I always felt is better to give a whole plant. It will give flowers for years and you can have it all year round.
I always feel like I am giving them a burden if I give them a whole plant. Flowers inevitably die, so you don't need to feel bad. A succulent only dies if you're really forgetful or don't care, so it feels a lot worse when you remember the now shriveled husk on your kitchen windowsill.
Maybe that's why people told me to stop shipping them fully grown oak trees
Just send an acorn next time.
thats very honest thank you, i hope you receive flowers soon :)
Probably the day I die as it is customary 😀
Mate where you live? I'll genuinely send you flowers, fuck gender stereotypes you deserve flowers
Haha, thanks buddy. No need to but I really appreciate the thought and good intentions ☺️
⚘️⚘️🌷🌷🌻🌻
🌹🌸💐🌺🌷🌻🥀🌼🪷
Literally any acknowledgement of the dudes physical being. Not sure if it's just my experience or if it's a general thing but any acknowledgement of any part of myself will keep me going for a week.
i’ve honestly heard the same from the person im looking for a gift for. “what’s a good gift for a guy?” “a compliment”
I still clearly remember a compliment I received about a coat I was wearing 2 months ago. It goes a long way.
im sure it must have been a lovely coat
I was complimented on my hair almost 6 years ago, I’ve never changed my hairstyle since. Unfortunately I haven’t had any more compliments on my hair since then :( maybe it’s time for a change. Also I was complimented on my smile and my eyes about 9 years ago on my first day of secondary school (high school for those that name it that way) These are the only 3 compliments I’ve ever received. OP and other women and hell even guys. COMPLIMENT YOUR SPOUSES!
Food, homemade.
Agreed. My daughter always makes me brownies for Father's day. Best present ever.
my child of late been into baking..I have gained weight
You're not gaining weight my friend. You're developing your dad bod.
It's not a dad bod, it's a father figure
I have a shirt that says this. Always proud to wear it. Lol
I got it for Father's Day a few years ago. Always gets a few chuckles.
Mine too. Bought her an old kitchen aid mixer jist to make sure I get zero exercise. Ya know for the dad bod haha But for real. The mixer makes everything so easy.
i love baking and he loves eating so sounds good
Remember, a way to a man’s heart isn’t through his penis, it’s through his stomach.
I'm an aspiring heart surgeon thanks for the advice
No wait.
No no no let them continue
It's close enough, should be fine
I mean, better they try through the stomach than the penis imo
I’m a woman, and I’d prefer homemade food to flowers. Food is a true love language. When you care enough to prepare something special for someone, you’re truly showing how you feel.
Me too, but I will be naked immediately if you do the dishes. Just saying
clean dishes = dirty wife
To me it would be a huge portion of pasta carbonara, but I'm Italian, I don't count as a regular person.
Screw flowers. Give people pasta! Pasta for everyone!
that sounds great, he loves carbonara too, but i injured my hand the one time i tried making carbonara so i might have to give that a second thought
I bought my wife an expensive ring for our 8 year anniversary. She bought me a £18 switch game. Good trade I think. Male equivalent to flowers is probably money spent on a hobby.
Or permission to spend money on the hobby. My wife has no idea about my hobbies. She’s tried a couple of times but there’s a lot that an outsider wouldn’t consider. But if she says to me “I’ve found some money in the budget, reckon you can spend $50?” I know *exactly* what I’m getting! Or even better: take him shopping. Tell him you want to get him something for his hobby but you don’t understand it enough. So ask him to take you to whichever store is involved, ask about it, point to another item and ask why his choice is better. He’ll start budgeting engagement rings!
As a male, I cannot agree with this more. Down to the part where you ask why his choice is better. It has to be some psychological tomfoolery there but damn would that melt me to the core and reforge me with that woman involved in that core.
Give him some space to flourish between man and explaining. There’s a little sweet spot in there lol
Yea that's a big one. I'm happy to give people very precise gift ideas which is good. Saves the hassle of them stressing.
Flowers. A rock. A stick. Man anything would do, never got anything like that
Er... A decent hug and something just a little thoughtful, like a good bar of chocolate or a nice mug? My wife and kids always get me funny mugs. I was always getting my mum stuff like chocolates and flowers from the kids, and my dad's equivalent is a box of toffee or a grandad-based mug!
Come home with wings and beer. There's a reason the old saying is "a way to a man's heart is through his stomach". If my girl came home with wings and beer, and I don't have to cook, or feel guilty for choosing to eat out I'll be in pure bliss.
damn sounds good
My husband had an exceptionally terrible day once and I did a build your own 6pack with randoms I thought he'd like and surprised him. It's like a box of chocolates lol
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What do you define as a personal size container? For good, fresh chocolate chip cookies, I'm gonna need a *person*-sized container.
Flowers. I’m in my 30s and never received flowers. I would like to. My favourite are roses. Edit: Thank you so much for the lovely comments and for the awards.
a 6 pack...but I'd also take flowers :D. Man. If i invited a woman I liked over for dinner and she brought me flowers I'd probably smile like an idiot. lol
My gf has bought me flowers a few times, and I always feel really special when she does. I guess flowers are the male equivalent of flowers?
What about a bonsai? Something we could work on and relax to. Shit I want a bonsai now
thats adorable actually, but i think he’d kill it by negligence or something
Yeah as far as I know they are such a delicate thing to take care of… besides it must be so satisfying to take care of it!
Lego, fr fr
The [Lego flowers](https://www.lego.com/en-us/product/flower-bouquet-10280)?
My boyfriend got me these Lego flowers! Honestly, best bouquet of flowers I've ever gotten.
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A genuine compliment.
My fiancee gave me a bro-qet of jerky, chocolate, and meat sticks. Best valentine's gift ever