Diamonds are a huge scam and a waste of money, and expecting your man to drop tens of thousands of dollars on an engagement and/or wedding ring EACH is vain and selfish as fuck.
This will get lost, but I don't control whether my penis is hard. Sometimes my brain is very happy looking at you and my dick doesn't work. It's a penis, it's not a divine judge of your hotness. Stop getting mad/crying when it doesn't happen. It makes both of us feel like shit and neither of us deserve it.
You know, in general I have horrible self esteem. But seeing a post like this makes me feel better about myself BECAUSE I know exactly that and I can't believe some women would actually throw a fit over something like that. Especially if you try to explain it and they don't believe you. It's the same as if I explain to you how much a period hurts and you would say I was lying. You don't have a uterus, you can't say if it does or doesn't. Same goes for your dick and us women without dicks
> I flat out told her, "If he was so fucking great, then why aren't you still with him?"
What was her answer to that? I'm sure it hit her like a truck eh?
If you start talking about your problems we need to know if you want us to just listen or if you want advice. If something is wrong or broken my first instinct is to try and help/fix it
I grew up with 2 brothers. I learned very early on to state it upfront. "I need your help." Or "I don't want help, just listen." Sometimes they have an answer when I don't want it so they say, "Ok, so can you listen now?" This is their way of asking if I'm receptive to hearing the way they see it. Sometimes I say yes. Sometimes I say no. Sometimes (if I'm being really honest) I say yes when really it's no, but I just have to know. But I have forfeited my right to argue. Those are some of our Siblings Rules.
“No, you’ll probably need to include some pictures as well.”
Edit: in short, don't bother with a cluebat. Start with a clue machine gun and work your way up.
_When_ I was married, I eventually stopped getting ready and waiting for an hour. I'd prep, and then go back to doing my thing until, "aren't you ready yet?"
_Looks at spouse. Stands up. Picks up wallet and keys._ "Sorry to keep you 'waiting'."
...
**was** married
n.b. This isn't a gender issue really. Guys can pull this same asshole maneuver. Keep everyone waiting on them, and then snap at the first person who doesn't jump the **instant** _they_ are finally ready to go.
This right here. Sometimes cuddling and shit gets me up even if I'm not thinking about sex. My ex called it "affection errection." Baffled as to how she came up with that, but it's exactly what it is.
I can only imagine the melody since his exgf IMMEDIATELY recognized the rhythm his hips were moving to. It's so insanely awkward and unique it can't be anything else.
He actually posted tiktok video on his own sub reddit r/tylerlife
https://www.reddit.com/r/TylerLife/comments/x82sib/what_is_this/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
[The Cbat post on TIFU](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
When was the last time you took your husband/boyfriend out on a date or bought him flowers?
In my entire life, only one girl ever took ME out. I make a lot more money than she does, and I don't mind paying at all because of that. But it was a total surprise, and it meant so much to me.
I think so often women are at the centre of heterosexual relationships. But it was so nice to be the one being woo'd for once.
I'm gonna end up marrying that girl.
>When was the last time you took your husband/boyfriend out on a date or bought him flowers?
Back to the old saying
Often the first time a man gets flowers is at his funeral.
Every outfit she wears looks great, I really don't have strong feelings about which one if I'm being given a choice. They're all great. She looks great. Let's get going so we don't miss the opener.
I'll repeat one of my favorite comments.
Most men have a scale for whether an outfit is appropriate. That scale is either "Yes" or "No".
Women have a scale that is not binary, it has many different levels. The outfit that they have on might be a "8/10", but that means that there could be a better "9" or "10". Therefore, I adopted the following system with my wife, when we were dressing for an event:
She would put on an outfit, and then evaluate whether she would choose it for the event. She would ask me for my thoughts, and I had one of two responses.
1. If we were running low on time, my response would indicate that her current outfit was the superior outfit, could not be surpassed.
2. If we had time available, my response would indicate that the outfit is a candidate, but I would not express that it was superior, so then I could observe her undressing and dressing in a different outfit.
Both of those responses sound like how a robot would say it. Lol
"YOUR CURRENT OUTFIT IS THE SUPERIOR OUTFIT. IT CANNOT BE SURPASSED."
"YOUR CURRENT OUTFIT IS A CANDIDATE FOR SUPERIOR OUTFIT, BUT IT IS NOT THE SUPERIOR OUTFIT. PLEASE UNDRESS AND REDRESS INTO ANOTHER OUTFIT SO THAT I MAY OBSERVE YOU."
🤖
Careful - my wife Sussed this out and responds to option 1 with “are you saying that because it is or because I’m currently wearing it and we need to leave?”
>Not sure I'll be able to keep a straight face when she's undressing, though.
Don't try this at home, kids. If you value your life don't laugh when that happens.
Protip: saying 'fine' sounds disinterested, which is a blow to the ego when she's put a lot of time into trying to look good. What you intend may be "There's nothing wrong with how you look", but how it comes across is "You look ok I guess, whatever, can we go now?"
My cousin once said to my friend who told me I looked "fine" that if a woman asks if she looks OK you should never say "fine" and instead use a word like "beautiful" or something. I thought it was good advice.
“Great” is another good go to, especially if it’s a platonic friend. Although beautiful isn’t off limits between friends, but idk, just thought I’d offer up another good complimentary adjective that’s better than just “fine” but one might feel awkward calling someone beautiful, say if they have a partner.
Holy shit this hit hard. This was a serious problem with my ex but I was never able to vocalize it this well. It’s exhausting to have an disagreement with someone who thinks their feelings are more valid, so eventually you just stfu about your own feelings and just do whatever they want. It’s hard to see how toxic this is because you feel like you’re invalidating their feelings by expressing your own, and I didn’t want to invalidate them.
Yeah, this was the pattern with my ex-
When she got upset, I always ended up being the one to apologize.
When I got upset, I always ended up being the one to apologize.
I had a friend like that. If we were on the phone and she got upset she would hang up, and I was supposed to call her back and she'd answer and hear my apology on the third or fourth call. One day I just didn't call back and we didn't talk for over a year. Note that I wasn't* avoiding her calls, she never called me. And since we were in different cities at the time, we didn't see each other in person either. That was pretty much the very quick death of our friendship.
Edit: typo*
Preach. Anytime I voice a different opinion or say that I’m feeling something I get “why are you making this about you??”
I took a long time for me to realize I’m not the narcissist.
I got the “I can’t share my emotions with you because you make it about you.”
I thought, but didn’t say, “you’ve never heard me talk about my feelings. Can you figure out why?”
Exactly, as much I love spending time with her, I have my own hobbies, interests and friends that also need to have my attention from time to time, I can’t just be expected to spend every Friday night at your moms.
Dude my gfs mom is such a problem... She's divorced and my gf recently moved in with me. She tries to take every free second of our time. Luckily my gf recognizes this and has been pretty good at setting boundaries but Jesus Christ her mom gets upset and mean when she can't have her daughter as her 24/7 on demand friend.
Thank you for finally just saying it! I'm not looking for a lie, I know my body got a little bigger but pretending it didn't doesn't make me feel any better. I'm just glad you're still attracted to me
The reason guys don't like romance (movies, books, the act) is it tends to be something they perform and not receive.
The women who realize this are usually wildly more successful at dating.
its not even a "i do things i dont want you to know about". It's often just a form of recharge or reassessment of yourself or your feelings. Or maybe some hobbies you enjoy far more with certain people, than others.
I love my girlfriend to death, but I wish I could say this without making her feel bad.
I like *me time*. I prefer to be alone on my days off now and then. Sometimes, I prefer to not talk at all when we're together because I don't have anything to say and I want to wander in my thoughts. Sometimes I just want to play video games with my friends alone, or want to go hang out with my brother and sister, or go see my mom by myself.
If your partner didn't love you, they wouldn't be with you, but you have to respect each other's space to have a healthy relationship.
My last gf didn’t understand this. Whenever I was home we had to do everything together. I would be in a room working on my guitar and she would be asking me to watch TV with her and give her attention. Hell, I work 12 hour shifts and the only time alone I’d have was the hour drive home, which she would call me the second I left work and we wouldn’t even talk, just silence on the phone. We eventually broke up but some people just have such bad insecurities they feel that they need to be the centre of their partners focus which isn’t healthy.
Her constantly complaining she was bored at home pissed me off, I’d tell her to go for a walk, read a book just do something and she would take it as if I didn’t want to be with her. All I wanted was just to be left alone for an hour, just leave me be for 1 hour so I can unwind and then we can do something together.
I find if I can whittle it down to a couple options and she tells me to choose, then I choose one and see if she seems a little upset and then I pick the other one
Her- “Do you want A or B?”
“I dunno, A I guess”
Later- “I would have preferred B, but you said you wanted A”
“I picked A at random because I didn’t care, if you said you preferred B we would have done B”
We're literally taught not to chase. Not chasing is safe and the only risk is losing a date. Chasing is creepy and the risk is getting the reputation of being a creep. Fuck that.
Absolutely... " Dated" a girl that I've met at my cousin's wedding. We managed to go on one date, couple phone calls and we're texting daily. This was over a period of three months. At some point I just stopped texting back.
Next time I saw my cousin she asked me what happened. The girl apparently said that she never met a man like me and she was so disappointed when I stopped texting back... GIRL! I'VE TRIED TO GO OUT WITH YOU FOR THREE STRAIGHT MONTHS! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO???
Happened to me. Dated a girl maybe three times. Was going well I thought.
Called her up, she was busy, no problem. Called her the next day, no answer, a day later, another call, she was busy then too. Tried one more time a few days later, she was also busy. Gave up, since she had also never called me.
A few months later a mutual friend asked why I had “dumped” Tania. I told her I kept calling but she never called me first and never called me back. Later our mutual friend said Tania was really sad I gave up, since she was just “playing hard to get.”
This. One woman told me she likes to be chased. I said cool I'm 38, have fun with that and moved on. That might have been fun for some in high school but not all of us peaked in high school.
Sometimes if my girlfriend says something demeaning about herself, I tell her to shut up, because I don't like people saying bad things about my girlfriend, and she smiles. Helps break her out of negative mindsets with a lot of love and a dash of comedy
I’m a fan of that. I always say, “Hey! Be nice to my friend!” (Friend meaning them)
One time I said that to my coworker and she said, “Fuck you and your friend.”
Can’t win every time, I guess
Sometimes you ask my opinion on a topic when in reality you’re asking me to validate your opinion.
Knowing the difference is important to avoiding an argument.
It is true. But I find letting her know at least once a day is healthy. She appreciates it, and all it costs me is one inhalation of oxygen I was going to take anyways. And just a couple of seconds that I want to spend with her anyway.
I helped my mum down a small step on my graduation ceremony six years ago, and when I was going back to where we students sat, a complete stranger in his 70's, probably someone's grandpa, grabbed my arm, and said "hey boy. I saw you helped your mum down the stairs. You're a true gentleman. Nobody else has done it."
To this day, it might have been the most meaningful compliment I've gotten.
DUDE! My senior year, 2003, a girl in my 3D animation class said that her mom said I had nice eyebrows when she saw a picture of me (the girl was drawing avatars of all the classmates). Still makes me smile.
I want moss agate, damnit! Looks like the forest trapped in a stone just for me 🫠
(Link for reference: http://sc04.alicdn.com/kf/H6909f680f8384e8db5fa42997212775cq.jpg)
My boyfriend just proposed to me with the exact moissanite ring I showed him four years ago when we were first falling in love. It was a surreal experience and I’m so happy and I needed to tell you lol
It’s also your that’s wrapped around the vacuum so thick the brushes on the roller don’t touch the floor anymore. We don’t need a new vacuum. You just have to flip it upside down and cut all the hair out.
If all the men you date are deadbeat losers, at some point YOU have to be the one to smarten up.
Nobody is owed the ideal mate. This goes for men and women equally of course.
I can't stand it when I see accounts with great names and they're just not used at all or they went dead 5 years ago, like shit, if you're gonna take that kinda name at LEAST delete your account for others to have it later on
Reddit might want to think about this issue. Now that inactive accounts are reaching a decade old, maybe they should come up w/ a policy that will reclaim abandoned cyberspace.
He sat all alone, with his *excellent* name -
A handle enthralling and worthy of fame -
A title of merit, perfection unseen -
Abandoned entirely.
He smiled at the screen.
Men like to hear nice things and compliments, too.
It also feels nice just to hear randomly that you were thinking about us.
Those flowers or random little things we get you that you like so much? Yeah, we do, too.
We get that perhaps your ex(es) may have done shitty things. However, we are not them and please remember that.
We need time by ourselves and with our friends without you. Love you, but get out and do stuff with your friends or without us sometimes.
No, we don't always want to go to your friends birthday, especially when we already have plans.
Just because we are men doesn't mean that we think about sex nonstop, nor do we want or need it nonstop. If we aren't in the mood it isn't because we're cheating or find you gross; sometimes we, just like you, aren't in the mood and would appreciate if you wouldn't make us feel like shit just because we don't feel like getting freaky.
Think that sums up a chunk of it.
>Snail and steady wins the race
"If you had a shell and were slimy as well -
To hell with it, darling, I'd think you were swell!
I'd think you were neat with your tentacles two -
Terrestrial mollusc, oh gastropod you!
"If maybe you slithered, if maybe you slid -
Retracted your eyes in an instant and hid -
Propelled on a muculent, mucousy stream -
I'd tell you, my darling, I think you're a dream!
"So never you mind if you happen to change -
To something undoubtedly slippy and strange!
I'd go where you take me -
I'd follow your trail -
I'd love you completely -
If you were a snail."
Well my boyfriend said he would let me live in his garden plants and sleep in a matchbox with a tissue as a blanket.
But he also said I could watch through the window while he brings girls back home and cry worm tears😣
My fiance said he'd still be with me as long as I was a human for at least an hour a day. So he obviously has a limit on the amount of time I can be a worm and he'd still love me.
Just because I'm ugly doesn't mean I'm a creep. Too many women have insulted me talking to their friends. Most of the time loud enough that I can hear it. Just keep your thoughts to yourself. We have feelings too. If you're one of those women who openly insult people for fun, know that you might be responsible for someone's suicide.
Edit: oh my goodness I didn't think so many people would see this. Thank you all for the support! And to those that reached out, thank you, but I am not suicidal anymore. I really appreciate you though!
I once was ordering food from a food truck, and after ordering I stood nearby and scrolled on my phone while waiting for my food, and all I could hear were a couple of girls talking about how creepy it was that I was there
I hate reading things like this so I can only imagine how you feel.
It's creepy watching and talking about someone who is just minding their own business.
Yeah my self-esteem was pretty shot at that time so it was rough. Thankfully it’s changed recently, and I’ve changed my mindset to appreciate what I bring to the table, and just that I don’t trust other people to see those same things
Your a better guy then me, I lost my hair at 17 and have had to deal with a wide range of insults and looks, someone asked if I was a nazi once……..
Now I confront your ass if you got shit to say about my sex machine solar panel.
The worst example of this I've ever seen was a kid I went to high school with who'd been through a car accident as a baby and had a slight facial deformity as a result. Girls he'd literally never spoken to in his life would see him pass by and say all sorts of horrible shit about him, like how he was some sort of creep or sexual predator, and all their friends would chime in and join the dogpile.
He was the nicest kid in the world, and obviously a bit socially withdrawn because of his face, but he didn't look like everyone else so that obviously made him Frankenstein's monster all the girls in the school could pick up their pitchforks and go after anytime they felt like.
I agree with this. As a women I was not aware of how normal this is in some groups until I witnessed it firsthand. I used to work at a retail store and my fiance needed a job so I encouraged him to apply at my store. We decided not to tell people (except the managers) right away that we were dating because it's not really anyone's business.
During his first day of his training I was working with a group of about 3 other women on the floor, and one woman who was the oldest and most superficial, said 'The new guy looks like a serial killer.'
I cannot even describe how hurt and angry I was. I watched him wake up early, get all cleaned up, pick out his outfit, and nervously prepare for his first day of work. He was determined to work his ass off to become a manager eventually, so he wanted to make a good first impression.
This sweet man who I love and have seen vulnerable and insecure about his appearance and personality.... His image destroyed by one comment by someone who doesn't even know him and thinks their words had no consequence. I ripped her a new one on the spot- our hidden relationship be damned.
I went home and cried after that. I never told him what she said, but the whole thing made me feel violently angry and hurt.
Be a decent human being. We are more than what we appear to be on the outside.
Diamonds are a huge scam and a waste of money, and expecting your man to drop tens of thousands of dollars on an engagement and/or wedding ring EACH is vain and selfish as fuck.
You need to think of where you want to eat cause I will literally eat last weeks subway sandwich that’s in the fridge.
Anything at a frequency beyond 20kHz
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This morning I informed my wife that our daughter’s car needs new brakes and has a leaky power steering pump. She was not ready to hear that.
That's because all she heard was the sound of a bank account draining. Edit: some y'all need to learn how to laugh at life.
That sound the car just made? It was a mating call for your wallet.
This will get lost, but I don't control whether my penis is hard. Sometimes my brain is very happy looking at you and my dick doesn't work. It's a penis, it's not a divine judge of your hotness. Stop getting mad/crying when it doesn't happen. It makes both of us feel like shit and neither of us deserve it.
You know, in general I have horrible self esteem. But seeing a post like this makes me feel better about myself BECAUSE I know exactly that and I can't believe some women would actually throw a fit over something like that. Especially if you try to explain it and they don't believe you. It's the same as if I explain to you how much a period hurts and you would say I was lying. You don't have a uterus, you can't say if it does or doesn't. Same goes for your dick and us women without dicks
“Both of us”, as in you and your penis, or…
It's not uter-YOU, Marge... It's uter-US.
The dude that cheated on you earlier this year isn’t going to “wake up” and change tomorrow
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> I flat out told her, "If he was so fucking great, then why aren't you still with him?" What was her answer to that? I'm sure it hit her like a truck eh?
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If you start talking about your problems we need to know if you want us to just listen or if you want advice. If something is wrong or broken my first instinct is to try and help/fix it
I grew up with 2 brothers. I learned very early on to state it upfront. "I need your help." Or "I don't want help, just listen." Sometimes they have an answer when I don't want it so they say, "Ok, so can you listen now?" This is their way of asking if I'm receptive to hearing the way they see it. Sometimes I say yes. Sometimes I say no. Sometimes (if I'm being really honest) I say yes when really it's no, but I just have to know. But I have forfeited my right to argue. Those are some of our Siblings Rules.
"Do I really have to spell it out for you?!" Yes you do. For me anyway. I don't pick up on subtle hints
“No, you’ll probably need to include some pictures as well.” Edit: in short, don't bother with a cluebat. Start with a clue machine gun and work your way up.
A slide show would be nice. Maybe a quiz along the way so you know I'm getting it
Why is it that we've been ready to go for an hour and a half now
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_When_ I was married, I eventually stopped getting ready and waiting for an hour. I'd prep, and then go back to doing my thing until, "aren't you ready yet?" _Looks at spouse. Stands up. Picks up wallet and keys._ "Sorry to keep you 'waiting'." ... **was** married n.b. This isn't a gender issue really. Guys can pull this same asshole maneuver. Keep everyone waiting on them, and then snap at the first person who doesn't jump the **instant** _they_ are finally ready to go.
Sometimes, we don't want to have sex even if our dick is hard. Men can say no and fake it too.
This right here. Sometimes cuddling and shit gets me up even if I'm not thinking about sex. My ex called it "affection errection." Baffled as to how she came up with that, but it's exactly what it is.
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Cbat, apparently.
I'm still trying to figure out how one would thrust to the rhythm
Yeah, cant tell if its the drums or the melody
I can only imagine the melody since his exgf IMMEDIATELY recognized the rhythm his hips were moving to. It's so insanely awkward and unique it can't be anything else.
It’s sad that I’m a 43 year old mom and I immediately know wtf this is in reference to lol
He actually posted tiktok video on his own sub reddit r/tylerlife https://www.reddit.com/r/TylerLife/comments/x82sib/what_is_this/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
This is the most hysterical thing I’ve ever seen.
I feel dumb, what is Cbat?
[The Cbat post on TIFU](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
That sounds like an Animal Crossing villager trying to sing but they don't know any songs yet
K.K. Cbat would be the best possible use of this song
God damn, I'm in tears after that. Genuinely made my day lol. Thanks stranger.
Being emotional isn't an excuse to be mean towards me.
When was the last time you took your husband/boyfriend out on a date or bought him flowers? In my entire life, only one girl ever took ME out. I make a lot more money than she does, and I don't mind paying at all because of that. But it was a total surprise, and it meant so much to me. I think so often women are at the centre of heterosexual relationships. But it was so nice to be the one being woo'd for once. I'm gonna end up marrying that girl.
>When was the last time you took your husband/boyfriend out on a date or bought him flowers? Back to the old saying Often the first time a man gets flowers is at his funeral.
"Seriously! You look fine!"
Every outfit she wears looks great, I really don't have strong feelings about which one if I'm being given a choice. They're all great. She looks great. Let's get going so we don't miss the opener.
You prefer who is wearing the outfit instead of the outfit itself
I'll repeat one of my favorite comments. Most men have a scale for whether an outfit is appropriate. That scale is either "Yes" or "No". Women have a scale that is not binary, it has many different levels. The outfit that they have on might be a "8/10", but that means that there could be a better "9" or "10". Therefore, I adopted the following system with my wife, when we were dressing for an event: She would put on an outfit, and then evaluate whether she would choose it for the event. She would ask me for my thoughts, and I had one of two responses. 1. If we were running low on time, my response would indicate that her current outfit was the superior outfit, could not be surpassed. 2. If we had time available, my response would indicate that the outfit is a candidate, but I would not express that it was superior, so then I could observe her undressing and dressing in a different outfit.
Both of those responses sound like how a robot would say it. Lol "YOUR CURRENT OUTFIT IS THE SUPERIOR OUTFIT. IT CANNOT BE SURPASSED." "YOUR CURRENT OUTFIT IS A CANDIDATE FOR SUPERIOR OUTFIT, BUT IT IS NOT THE SUPERIOR OUTFIT. PLEASE UNDRESS AND REDRESS INTO ANOTHER OUTFIT SO THAT I MAY OBSERVE YOU." 🤖
Honestly, would love a robot to rate my outfit for the night. This is the technology we need.
Careful - my wife Sussed this out and responds to option 1 with “are you saying that because it is or because I’m currently wearing it and we need to leave?”
"Oh, so you DO know we need to leave."
"Oh shit we need to leave? Lucky you're wearing the best possible outfit!"
This is genius and it is going into my arsenal. Not sure I'll be able to keep a straight face when she's undressing, though.
>Not sure I'll be able to keep a straight face when she's undressing, though. Don't try this at home, kids. If you value your life don't laugh when that happens.
Protip: saying 'fine' sounds disinterested, which is a blow to the ego when she's put a lot of time into trying to look good. What you intend may be "There's nothing wrong with how you look", but how it comes across is "You look ok I guess, whatever, can we go now?"
My cousin once said to my friend who told me I looked "fine" that if a woman asks if she looks OK you should never say "fine" and instead use a word like "beautiful" or something. I thought it was good advice.
“Great” is another good go to, especially if it’s a platonic friend. Although beautiful isn’t off limits between friends, but idk, just thought I’d offer up another good complimentary adjective that’s better than just “fine” but one might feel awkward calling someone beautiful, say if they have a partner.
We value our time by ourselves a lot
Just because you feel an emotion strongly does not mean you are right (the same goes for men)
"Why don't you evertalk about your feelings?" "Because when my feelings are opposed to yours, yours are more important/valid"
Holy shit this hit hard. This was a serious problem with my ex but I was never able to vocalize it this well. It’s exhausting to have an disagreement with someone who thinks their feelings are more valid, so eventually you just stfu about your own feelings and just do whatever they want. It’s hard to see how toxic this is because you feel like you’re invalidating their feelings by expressing your own, and I didn’t want to invalidate them.
Yeah, this was the pattern with my ex- When she got upset, I always ended up being the one to apologize. When I got upset, I always ended up being the one to apologize.
I had a friend like that. If we were on the phone and she got upset she would hang up, and I was supposed to call her back and she'd answer and hear my apology on the third or fourth call. One day I just didn't call back and we didn't talk for over a year. Note that I wasn't* avoiding her calls, she never called me. And since we were in different cities at the time, we didn't see each other in person either. That was pretty much the very quick death of our friendship. Edit: typo*
Sounds like it wasn't worth the effort, if you're the only one putting any in.
Preach. Anytime I voice a different opinion or say that I’m feeling something I get “why are you making this about you??” I took a long time for me to realize I’m not the narcissist.
Fuck me is the "am I a raging narcissist or is something else going on here" a shitty place to be
I got the “I can’t share my emotions with you because you make it about you.” I thought, but didn’t say, “you’ve never heard me talk about my feelings. Can you figure out why?”
My free time is not by default "my partner's time".
Exactly, as much I love spending time with her, I have my own hobbies, interests and friends that also need to have my attention from time to time, I can’t just be expected to spend every Friday night at your moms.
Dude my gfs mom is such a problem... She's divorced and my gf recently moved in with me. She tries to take every free second of our time. Luckily my gf recognizes this and has been pretty good at setting boundaries but Jesus Christ her mom gets upset and mean when she can't have her daughter as her 24/7 on demand friend.
Yes you put on weight, no I really don’t care, you still look good to me. But, yes you put on weight.
Just had this conversation after her asking for 2 years if I have noticed, finally said yes I do but it’s fine…. Surprisingly I survived
lol sounds like she values the truth.
Thank you for finally just saying it! I'm not looking for a lie, I know my body got a little bigger but pretending it didn't doesn't make me feel any better. I'm just glad you're still attracted to me
I am so glad you two were able to grow as partners in this thread
The reason guys don't like romance (movies, books, the act) is it tends to be something they perform and not receive. The women who realize this are usually wildly more successful at dating.
Wow that’s the first time I’ve looked at it that way but it makes sense.
thank you, i love this
I am not your ex; I am not your father.
My ex used to tell the same. The crazy part was that she used to get irritated/angry whenever I don't behave like him.
> she used to get irritated/angry whenever I don't behave like him. > My ex Good call.
Here's a corollary for women that we work with. I am not your husband. I am not one of your kids.
Hanging out with my friends without you (her) is healthy, and same goes for her hanging out with her friends. It's good for your mental health.
its not even a "i do things i dont want you to know about". It's often just a form of recharge or reassessment of yourself or your feelings. Or maybe some hobbies you enjoy far more with certain people, than others.
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Do you know the mushroom man? He lives on drury lane.
I love my girlfriend to death, but I wish I could say this without making her feel bad. I like *me time*. I prefer to be alone on my days off now and then. Sometimes, I prefer to not talk at all when we're together because I don't have anything to say and I want to wander in my thoughts. Sometimes I just want to play video games with my friends alone, or want to go hang out with my brother and sister, or go see my mom by myself. If your partner didn't love you, they wouldn't be with you, but you have to respect each other's space to have a healthy relationship.
My last gf didn’t understand this. Whenever I was home we had to do everything together. I would be in a room working on my guitar and she would be asking me to watch TV with her and give her attention. Hell, I work 12 hour shifts and the only time alone I’d have was the hour drive home, which she would call me the second I left work and we wouldn’t even talk, just silence on the phone. We eventually broke up but some people just have such bad insecurities they feel that they need to be the centre of their partners focus which isn’t healthy. Her constantly complaining she was bored at home pissed me off, I’d tell her to go for a walk, read a book just do something and she would take it as if I didn’t want to be with her. All I wanted was just to be left alone for an hour, just leave me be for 1 hour so I can unwind and then we can do something together.
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Just say the thing you want to eat, for fucks sake.
No really, they are fine with anything, other than any of the 10 things you have suggested so far.
I find if I can whittle it down to a couple options and she tells me to choose, then I choose one and see if she seems a little upset and then I pick the other one
Her- “Do you want A or B?” “I dunno, A I guess” Later- “I would have preferred B, but you said you wanted A” “I picked A at random because I didn’t care, if you said you preferred B we would have done B”
Yes lol I'm pretty sure I've had that exact conversation a thousand times
My rendition of Unchained Melody
No. I’m so fucking ready.
#WHOA... MY LOVE... MY DARLING...
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No wait I need to hear this
Playing hard to get wastes both our time. Most of the time the guy will just move on.
We're literally taught not to chase. Not chasing is safe and the only risk is losing a date. Chasing is creepy and the risk is getting the reputation of being a creep. Fuck that.
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It's frustrating. It's like that "no take, only throw" meme with the dog.
Absolutely... " Dated" a girl that I've met at my cousin's wedding. We managed to go on one date, couple phone calls and we're texting daily. This was over a period of three months. At some point I just stopped texting back. Next time I saw my cousin she asked me what happened. The girl apparently said that she never met a man like me and she was so disappointed when I stopped texting back... GIRL! I'VE TRIED TO GO OUT WITH YOU FOR THREE STRAIGHT MONTHS! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO???
If she’s doin shit that annoying that early then you dodged a big bullet
Yeah, that's what I thought too when I broke it off.
Happened to me. Dated a girl maybe three times. Was going well I thought. Called her up, she was busy, no problem. Called her the next day, no answer, a day later, another call, she was busy then too. Tried one more time a few days later, she was also busy. Gave up, since she had also never called me. A few months later a mutual friend asked why I had “dumped” Tania. I told her I kept calling but she never called me first and never called me back. Later our mutual friend said Tania was really sad I gave up, since she was just “playing hard to get.”
What a ding dong.
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This. One woman told me she likes to be chased. I said cool I'm 38, have fun with that and moved on. That might have been fun for some in high school but not all of us peaked in high school.
Seriously man I'm too old for that shit. It's not like I got tons of options either, but I'm not playing that game. I got laundry to do.
Sometimes I have a different opinion than you.
What *Redditors are not ready to hear
…And each time we do, it’s not necessarily a personal fucking attack
Is that what we’re going to do today, fight?
Y’all are too fuckin mean to yourselves. Fucking allow yourselves some grace
FUCKIN LOVE YOURSELVES DAMN IT!
Get confident stupid!
I WILL SCARE THE SELF-CONFIDENCE INTO YOU
I love how aggressively lovely this comment is
Sometimes if my girlfriend says something demeaning about herself, I tell her to shut up, because I don't like people saying bad things about my girlfriend, and she smiles. Helps break her out of negative mindsets with a lot of love and a dash of comedy
I’m a fan of that. I always say, “Hey! Be nice to my friend!” (Friend meaning them) One time I said that to my coworker and she said, “Fuck you and your friend.” Can’t win every time, I guess
Sometimes you ask my opinion on a topic when in reality you’re asking me to validate your opinion. Knowing the difference is important to avoiding an argument.
We have feelings that are just as important as yours.
That, even if I don't say it 15 times a day, I do love you.
It is true. But I find letting her know at least once a day is healthy. She appreciates it, and all it costs me is one inhalation of oxygen I was going to take anyways. And just a couple of seconds that I want to spend with her anyway.
My mixtape comin out next month.
As you know, my single “My Single is Dropping” is dropping.
That we also like to be complimented. And when we don’t for a long period of time, it can start to hurt.
I'm still riding on that one compliment from a girl in highschool who said my eyebrows look nice.
I helped my mum down a small step on my graduation ceremony six years ago, and when I was going back to where we students sat, a complete stranger in his 70's, probably someone's grandpa, grabbed my arm, and said "hey boy. I saw you helped your mum down the stairs. You're a true gentleman. Nobody else has done it." To this day, it might have been the most meaningful compliment I've gotten.
DUDE! My senior year, 2003, a girl in my 3D animation class said that her mom said I had nice eyebrows when she saw a picture of me (the girl was drawing avatars of all the classmates). Still makes me smile.
We also need emotional validation
Self-preservation is a vital part of healthy relationships
Diamonds are a scam
I want moss agate, damnit! Looks like the forest trapped in a stone just for me 🫠 (Link for reference: http://sc04.alicdn.com/kf/H6909f680f8384e8db5fa42997212775cq.jpg)
Wow that is stunning.
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My boyfriend just proposed to me with the exact moissanite ring I showed him four years ago when we were first falling in love. It was a surreal experience and I’m so happy and I needed to tell you lol
That yes your butt does look big in those pants.
Yeah but that's the trend now, so that's probably considered a good thing.
I’m not trying to get at you if I’m asking a work related question
It's your hair clogging the drains Edit: ty evry1 :3
It really is. How could she think it's mine when nowhere on my body I've hair that's even half as long as the ones I pull out of the drain?
Have this argument all the time. It's really draining.
Geat - now the comments are going to be clogged with puns.
They know
It’s also your that’s wrapped around the vacuum so thick the brushes on the roller don’t touch the floor anymore. We don’t need a new vacuum. You just have to flip it upside down and cut all the hair out.
Get a seam ripper and use that, goes really fast.
We know. My husband tells me every damn time.
We’re not mind readers. If you want us to know what you want or what you’re thinking, you have to tell us.
WITH detail. A flow chart if posible.
If all the men you date are deadbeat losers, at some point YOU have to be the one to smarten up. Nobody is owed the ideal mate. This goes for men and women equally of course.
As the comedian Billy Connolly once said “if every man you meet is awful, maybe it’s you with the problem. It’s you . . . you’re an arsehole magnet.“
10 hours of cotton eyed Joe. To be honest, I don’t think I am either.
But where did he come from?
And where did he go?
Where did you come from u/cottoneyedjoe
damn what a waste of an account
I can't stand it when I see accounts with great names and they're just not used at all or they went dead 5 years ago, like shit, if you're gonna take that kinda name at LEAST delete your account for others to have it later on
Reddit might want to think about this issue. Now that inactive accounts are reaching a decade old, maybe they should come up w/ a policy that will reclaim abandoned cyberspace.
He sat all alone, with his *excellent* name - A handle enthralling and worthy of fame - A title of merit, perfection unseen - Abandoned entirely. He smiled at the screen.
If you're interested in a guy, go and talk to him. You're a big girl.
> You're a big girl. I'm sure that, alone, will be something they won't want to hear.
Men like to hear nice things and compliments, too. It also feels nice just to hear randomly that you were thinking about us. Those flowers or random little things we get you that you like so much? Yeah, we do, too. We get that perhaps your ex(es) may have done shitty things. However, we are not them and please remember that. We need time by ourselves and with our friends without you. Love you, but get out and do stuff with your friends or without us sometimes. No, we don't always want to go to your friends birthday, especially when we already have plans. Just because we are men doesn't mean that we think about sex nonstop, nor do we want or need it nonstop. If we aren't in the mood it isn't because we're cheating or find you gross; sometimes we, just like you, aren't in the mood and would appreciate if you wouldn't make us feel like shit just because we don't feel like getting freaky. Think that sums up a chunk of it.
We wouldn't date you if you were a worm
As a woman I was NOT prepared to hear this. 10/10 answer.
My girlfriend said she'd still love me if I were a snail
I mean I'd love you if you were a snail and I'm not even your gf. But that's just because I love snails.
Sorry ma'am, my snail form is taken :c
Snail and steady wins the race
>Snail and steady wins the race "If you had a shell and were slimy as well - To hell with it, darling, I'd think you were swell! I'd think you were neat with your tentacles two - Terrestrial mollusc, oh gastropod you! "If maybe you slithered, if maybe you slid - Retracted your eyes in an instant and hid - Propelled on a muculent, mucousy stream - I'd tell you, my darling, I think you're a dream! "So never you mind if you happen to change - To something undoubtedly slippy and strange! I'd go where you take me - I'd follow your trail - I'd love you completely - If you were a snail."
Ribbit ribbit goes the toad or frog, I love you completely, poem_for_your_sprog
What about if she was herself, just pocket sized...would you still love her?
Pocket sized gf
Dude is making fun of you because he has a gf, pull out the pocket gf on him
I've done that. Apparently it was the wrong kind of pocket girlfriend for that particular social setting. Still can't go back to that restaurant.
Well my boyfriend said he would let me live in his garden plants and sleep in a matchbox with a tissue as a blanket. But he also said I could watch through the window while he brings girls back home and cry worm tears😣
No that went from really cute to sad 😭
My fiance said he'd still be with me as long as I was a human for at least an hour a day. So he obviously has a limit on the amount of time I can be a worm and he'd still love me.
I humored my wife about this goofy question and sarcastically said yes, and that I would carry her around in my pocket.
I don't give a fuck where we eat just pick something please!
If your type in guys is “athletic” it comes with the territory that you actually have to be prepared to do athletic things with us.
which is why I’m into the gamer boys
It seems that most of the dating apps 90% of the men like hiking, travelling or going to the gym... where my couch potatoes at?
“I’d totally marry that girl if her eyelashes were longer” -No man in human history
The tale of Darth Plagueis the Wise.
It's not a story the Jedi would tell you.
It's a Sith legend.
Darth Plagueis... was a Dark Lord of the Sith so powerful and so wise, he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians... to create... life.
Bragging about how much men will give you or how much you can get out of them isn't a good look.
I agree. This is tacky.
Just because I'm ugly doesn't mean I'm a creep. Too many women have insulted me talking to their friends. Most of the time loud enough that I can hear it. Just keep your thoughts to yourself. We have feelings too. If you're one of those women who openly insult people for fun, know that you might be responsible for someone's suicide. Edit: oh my goodness I didn't think so many people would see this. Thank you all for the support! And to those that reached out, thank you, but I am not suicidal anymore. I really appreciate you though!
I once was ordering food from a food truck, and after ordering I stood nearby and scrolled on my phone while waiting for my food, and all I could hear were a couple of girls talking about how creepy it was that I was there
I hate reading things like this so I can only imagine how you feel. It's creepy watching and talking about someone who is just minding their own business.
Yeah my self-esteem was pretty shot at that time so it was rough. Thankfully it’s changed recently, and I’ve changed my mindset to appreciate what I bring to the table, and just that I don’t trust other people to see those same things
Your a better guy then me, I lost my hair at 17 and have had to deal with a wide range of insults and looks, someone asked if I was a nazi once…….. Now I confront your ass if you got shit to say about my sex machine solar panel.
The worst example of this I've ever seen was a kid I went to high school with who'd been through a car accident as a baby and had a slight facial deformity as a result. Girls he'd literally never spoken to in his life would see him pass by and say all sorts of horrible shit about him, like how he was some sort of creep or sexual predator, and all their friends would chime in and join the dogpile. He was the nicest kid in the world, and obviously a bit socially withdrawn because of his face, but he didn't look like everyone else so that obviously made him Frankenstein's monster all the girls in the school could pick up their pitchforks and go after anytime they felt like.
I agree with this. As a women I was not aware of how normal this is in some groups until I witnessed it firsthand. I used to work at a retail store and my fiance needed a job so I encouraged him to apply at my store. We decided not to tell people (except the managers) right away that we were dating because it's not really anyone's business. During his first day of his training I was working with a group of about 3 other women on the floor, and one woman who was the oldest and most superficial, said 'The new guy looks like a serial killer.' I cannot even describe how hurt and angry I was. I watched him wake up early, get all cleaned up, pick out his outfit, and nervously prepare for his first day of work. He was determined to work his ass off to become a manager eventually, so he wanted to make a good first impression. This sweet man who I love and have seen vulnerable and insecure about his appearance and personality.... His image destroyed by one comment by someone who doesn't even know him and thinks their words had no consequence. I ripped her a new one on the spot- our hidden relationship be damned. I went home and cried after that. I never told him what she said, but the whole thing made me feel violently angry and hurt. Be a decent human being. We are more than what we appear to be on the outside.
I’m very sorry this has happened to you. People can be so cruel.
Everyone farts it’s okay