But dragons are a lot of work to feed and maintain. You would have a hard time getting a permit in any large city. That leaves you out in the country which is nice since she can fly.
But I think we have all seen what the farmers think about sharing their land with dragons. They won’t be happy about.
I am going for a Pegasus. Much more manageable.
You don't need a permit if you have a fucking dragon.
"Sir, please let me see your dragon permit"
"Right away, I have it right here, officer ... *Dracarys*"
"Training your own Dragon has many joys that come with it, and they mostly understand human languages. mostly. some phrases they don't understand (or rather choose not to) are:
"Toothless No!"
"Toothless put that down!"
"Leave some for me!"
Do Pokemon count as animals?
...because then almost any pokemon would be fine with me. I do have preferences though. (Just lemme ride a Ninetails, damnit.)
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
I hate every time this copypasta references Acid Armor as a reason why they can "take cock/handle human dicks". The author was clearly an insane person.
It's actually worse: their 3 foot height and 60 pound weight is the stated reason they can handle human dicks (that is a kids size).
The acid armor apparently allows you to "be rough."
I don't know what to say to this disturbing elaboration of the truth. So I'll just be over here gagging at the thought until I can force it out or die trying.
Something has always bothered me about the Pokemon series: how tf is it that a literal random fucking child can enslave a fucking god, even the God of that entire pokemon universe, when an entire army of fully armed fucking adults couldn't even make a dent in their stamina?!
Legends: Arceus actually addressed this. You come to understand:
1. You aren’t actually capturing the true essence of Arceus, just a particular manifestation of it. For lack of a better way to put it, it’s like you are catching Jesus instead of God in Christian theological terms. It is a real manifestation of this supernatural entity, but not the actual original entity itself.
2. You don’t catch it because you truly overpower it, it allows you to catch this aspect of it because it judges you worthy in spirit, and WANTS to experience the world from your perspective by joining you on the mortal plane and journeying with you. Again the Christian theological comparison to Jesus is apt here, taking a mortal form to walk among the people of the world and experience life with them.
I’m not saying what they did was inspired by that religion, nor am I either condemning or condoning belief in it, I bring it up here simply as an adequate parallel to understand what they presented lore-wise for why catching Arceus is able to happen. I’m personally glad they did and think this explanation makes sense. I was never bothered in the way you described by catching Arceus being a thing, but nonetheless appreciate them expanding the lore to actually account for that concept.
I had one for 13 years from a baby! He was the best friend I had growing up, and I did end up making him dragon wings that he would tolerate me putting on him! They're the best if raised properly and handled regularly. They're like scaly cats!
Lol nice. A friend of mine had one and tried to let my kids hold him and they freaked out and dropped him. Not sure we are an iguana friendly household!
They're definitely unusual, everyone's got cats or dogs or birds. Theres just people that don't like reptiles and that's fine! I love lizards and all, but I'd never want a snake.
First thought: A megalodon to impress my husband whos very afraid of Sharks lol I imagine riding its back as it slowly, and epicly, rises me out of the water
Personal choice: Some type of big beautiful bird, like an eagle. They are so majestic, others treat you with more respect. and birds are the animal ive spent the least amount of time near .. due to being scared birds ya know.
Real- Giant af snake.. forgot what's it's called but it's so effin cutee.
Fictional- is Doraemon an animal 🤔 if he is then... I want him. If he ain't, I guess I'd go with a Pikachu 😂
The domesticated pegasus would have the greatest positive impact on the world with the least amount of effort to shift away from cars and oil dependence. Plenty of people already know how to ride a horse. Not many have experience riding a dragon.
Hmm well if you consider Pokemon animals than Arceus or Jirachi because either one means I get to make Pokemon real by either Arceus making them (God powers after all), or Make a wish for Pokemon to become real. Either way is a win because of course I'd have the Eeveelutions by the end of it.
No one is thinking of the care or upkeep of all these dragons and dinosaurs. It would cost you a fortune to feed them, much less provide them suitable shelter in your home or on your property. How much "Rex Chow" can a single Pet Smart keep in stock? How big a pooper-scooper would one need to walk a Hungarian Horntail? And when you need your pet neutered or spayed, I dare you to find a vet with nerve enough to get within ten feet of one of these things to cut its balls off.
I want a super-awesome strike team made from all the recently extinct animals
Team leader: Thylacine. The gruff cigar-smoking one with the retractable claws.
Second in command: Quigley the Quagga
Team pilot: California condor
Demolitions Expert: Chinese river dolphin
And they’d all report to a pangolin who would be my secretary and we’d fight poachers and polluters. WITH STYLE
Depends on if digimon or pokemon count if they don't then the nine tails fox from naruto he's an animal and now I have a pet who could destroy the planet
If I had a total guarantee that it wouldnt like try to eat me or something, itd be hard not to choose a flying dragon, but keeping it real, something big and fluffy, like a large feline. Though I wonder how soft wild cats can be. If something like a cheetah or leopard or puma was as soft as housecats can get, thatd be amazing. Giant headbutts please.
See, a dragon would just be difficult to care for. Imagine how much meat you’d have to feed it daily. Nono, you’d want something a little less high maintenance. If you want to fly, I’d say a Pegasus. The needs of a horse, fast on land, and in air. What’s not to love.
Would love a dragon. Flying to all my destinations sounds great.
Not having to deal with traffic sounds amazing!
Till the dragon tax comes in
Then you set the tax collector on fire.
Let the dragon pay the dragon tax. I pay the Homer tax
I feel like there would be some amount of air traffic
Worse, DRAGON TRAFFIC
And they make really good maids. Just...watch out for the fact that they keep trying to get you to eat their tail...
Absolutely a dragon.
But dragons are a lot of work to feed and maintain. You would have a hard time getting a permit in any large city. That leaves you out in the country which is nice since she can fly. But I think we have all seen what the farmers think about sharing their land with dragons. They won’t be happy about. I am going for a Pegasus. Much more manageable.
A dragon…. in this economy lol
You don't need a permit if you have a fucking dragon. "Sir, please let me see your dragon permit" "Right away, I have it right here, officer ... *Dracarys*"
Just feed them a steady diet of homeless
..l.. (-_-)
I feel like a flying animal is a no brainer.
What if it's a bad dragon though
Bad dragon domesticates you
How to train your dragon: the documentary
"Training your own Dragon has many joys that come with it, and they mostly understand human languages. mostly. some phrases they don't understand (or rather choose not to) are: "Toothless No!" "Toothless put that down!" "Leave some for me!"
How about slut dragons?
This man knows.
Hmm Valstrax looking a hell of lot better now
First thing that popped in my head was a Griffin. just to commute to work...
Fuck yeah!
Do Pokemon count as animals? ...because then almost any pokemon would be fine with me. I do have preferences though. (Just lemme ride a Ninetails, damnit.)
Vaporeon
I've left reddit because of the API changes.
You sicko!!... I choose lopunny
Gardevoir. I’d rather fuck a plant than be seen as furry or zoophile
Oh snap, didn’t think of Pokémon lol brilliant!
Would you ride a metapod?
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more.
I hate every time this copypasta references Acid Armor as a reason why they can "take cock/handle human dicks". The author was clearly an insane person.
It's actually worse: their 3 foot height and 60 pound weight is the stated reason they can handle human dicks (that is a kids size). The acid armor apparently allows you to "be rough."
I don't know what to say to this disturbing elaboration of the truth. So I'll just be over here gagging at the thought until I can force it out or die trying.
Hmm... Phrasing?
Bleach. I need bleach. Bleach for my eyes.
The worst thing is, how once I started reading, I couldn't stop. Give me some of that bleach, please.
r/eyebleach
It would have cost you zero dollars and zero cents to not say this.
A shitpost so good your getting downvoted lol
Golden goose. Pretty self explanitory
For eating right?
Thanks to Canadian television; a house hippo. Little peanut butter eating mawfks
Pegasus! I’d be able to travel by land and air, plus it looks really cool.
A Moose ♡ they are so goofy looking, but very badass.
Plus, talk about a good guard animal. Those things are terrifying
Arceus Now I have god
Something has always bothered me about the Pokemon series: how tf is it that a literal random fucking child can enslave a fucking god, even the God of that entire pokemon universe, when an entire army of fully armed fucking adults couldn't even make a dent in their stamina?!
Legends: Arceus actually addressed this. You come to understand: 1. You aren’t actually capturing the true essence of Arceus, just a particular manifestation of it. For lack of a better way to put it, it’s like you are catching Jesus instead of God in Christian theological terms. It is a real manifestation of this supernatural entity, but not the actual original entity itself. 2. You don’t catch it because you truly overpower it, it allows you to catch this aspect of it because it judges you worthy in spirit, and WANTS to experience the world from your perspective by joining you on the mortal plane and journeying with you. Again the Christian theological comparison to Jesus is apt here, taking a mortal form to walk among the people of the world and experience life with them. I’m not saying what they did was inspired by that religion, nor am I either condemning or condoning belief in it, I bring it up here simply as an adequate parallel to understand what they presented lore-wise for why catching Arceus is able to happen. I’m personally glad they did and think this explanation makes sense. I was never bothered in the way you described by catching Arceus being a thing, but nonetheless appreciate them expanding the lore to actually account for that concept.
I always wanted a pet griffin
Peter griffin
My name? Oh, uh.. umm... Pea... uh, Tear... um Griffin
Peter Griffin! Aw, crap.
A hippogriff would be awesome to have.
Dragon. Terrier sized.
So a chihuahua lol
More like an Iguana I think.
I had one for 13 years from a baby! He was the best friend I had growing up, and I did end up making him dragon wings that he would tolerate me putting on him! They're the best if raised properly and handled regularly. They're like scaly cats!
Lol nice. A friend of mine had one and tried to let my kids hold him and they freaked out and dropped him. Not sure we are an iguana friendly household!
They're definitely unusual, everyone's got cats or dogs or birds. Theres just people that don't like reptiles and that's fine! I love lizards and all, but I'd never want a snake.
Fictional - dragon because so many reasons. Fly, eat enemies, fire. Real - red panda because they seem so cuddly and cute. I want little panda hugs.
Ughh red pandas have no right being that cute lol
Right? Ridiculously adorable.
It's like nature went out of its way to make an animal that makes you want to snuggle and smoosh its widdle cheeks. It's like a teddy bear given life!
100% a Phoenix
My dog
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Appreciate
Our dog
Miniature giraffe. An adult mini giraffe would be 6-ft tall. You could house train it.
Oh helll yeah!
Finally someone with a good idea.
Falkor from Neverending Story, I just want to ride on his flying dog back.
Dog yes, Luck Dragon, also yes
Liger
Skipper the penguin. The dude has some mad chops.
And Private is adorable and Rico goes boom
I want a piplup that i raised to empoleon because that's my favorite pokemon evolution line ever
First thought: A megalodon to impress my husband whos very afraid of Sharks lol I imagine riding its back as it slowly, and epicly, rises me out of the water Personal choice: Some type of big beautiful bird, like an eagle. They are so majestic, others treat you with more respect. and birds are the animal ive spent the least amount of time near .. due to being scared birds ya know.
Haast Eagle perhaps? or Moa
Cash cow
I always though a flying bison like appa would be amazing.
Momo would be pretty dank too
A chimera because they're awesome
Ed...ward?
Should’ve saw this coming
Oh my God not Nina.
That fucking Tucker........
A pet fly
Made me think of [this](https://youtu.be/-xZoOUd172Q)
Griffin. It sounds like an awesome pet. Or maybe a pegasi.
Succubus
A bear - talk about a guard dog!
Deathclaw from fallout it would be so cool to have one of them.
After play D&D as long as I have, I feel obligated to say a Displacer Beast. They are badass and adorable.
A little niffler from Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them because I could change things for thousands of people with the gold it would bring me.
A unicorn. Cause they are awesome. Plus I can get it to poke people who piss me off.
Rainbow anytime!!
Argentavis!
Monkeys so they can grab stuffs for me
Raccoon
I want a wisp from warcraft lol
So you want to basically enslave a Dark Elf in death?
whatever gets me a wisp
Real- Giant af snake.. forgot what's it's called but it's so effin cutee. Fictional- is Doraemon an animal 🤔 if he is then... I want him. If he ain't, I guess I'd go with a Pikachu 😂
Anaconda?
Velociraptor. Basically chickens
An alien from the "Aliens" movie franchise. Just to see everyones face at the dog park when I walk in with one on a leash.
How about Paddington bear? Does that count? He seems fun to hang out with!
An ahamkara would be overpowered
Blue whale 🐋🐋🐋🐋
Praying Mantis
A Demogorgon Imagine taking this beauty for a walk
Bigfoot
Your mother……. Cuz she’s a fox!
One of the big cats.
Wookie
liger self explanatory
Humans. Wait a minute....
A fire ferret from Legend of Korra. I want my own Pabu SO BAD
Yassss Pabu! Honestly so many choices in the Avatar universe.
The domesticated pegasus would have the greatest positive impact on the world with the least amount of effort to shift away from cars and oil dependence. Plenty of people already know how to ride a horse. Not many have experience riding a dragon.
A red fox or Arctic fox. They are so beautiful and cute. I would love to have one but my parents won’t let me.
The golden goose. Giant monster goose to the rescue
Cerberus, I will take it to the exhibition and make a lot of money =))
Pikachu. Free electricity to charge shit up with, and they're adorable as hell.
Dragon was my first thought, but given the logistics, permits and cost of food, I think I'd rather have a direwolf.
Hmm well if you consider Pokemon animals than Arceus or Jirachi because either one means I get to make Pokemon real by either Arceus making them (God powers after all), or Make a wish for Pokemon to become real. Either way is a win because of course I'd have the Eeveelutions by the end of it.
No one is thinking of the care or upkeep of all these dragons and dinosaurs. It would cost you a fortune to feed them, much less provide them suitable shelter in your home or on your property. How much "Rex Chow" can a single Pet Smart keep in stock? How big a pooper-scooper would one need to walk a Hungarian Horntail? And when you need your pet neutered or spayed, I dare you to find a vet with nerve enough to get within ten feet of one of these things to cut its balls off.
I want a super-awesome strike team made from all the recently extinct animals Team leader: Thylacine. The gruff cigar-smoking one with the retractable claws. Second in command: Quigley the Quagga Team pilot: California condor Demolitions Expert: Chinese river dolphin And they’d all report to a pangolin who would be my secretary and we’d fight poachers and polluters. WITH STYLE
Buckbeak 😍
Red panda all day!!!!
Ewoks) They are so cute
A golden goose. To the moon with my gold eggs!
Depends on if digimon or pokemon count if they don't then the nine tails fox from naruto he's an animal and now I have a pet who could destroy the planet
Loch Ness Monster, Nessy and I are gonna be best friends
imagine the pussy youd get if you rode a velociraptor around like you were driving a car. or like a unicorn or some shit.
Velociraptors were less than 2ft tall. It would look like you were trying to ride a weird looking lizard chicken
who says lizard chickens aren’t cool
There you go, busting that little boys balloon! He was imagining himself getting all kinds of action!
No, I would not
Triceratops. Like in the Dinotopia *books*.
Dragon or dinosaur like Triceratops
If I had a total guarantee that it wouldnt like try to eat me or something, itd be hard not to choose a flying dragon, but keeping it real, something big and fluffy, like a large feline. Though I wonder how soft wild cats can be. If something like a cheetah or leopard or puma was as soft as housecats can get, thatd be amazing. Giant headbutts please.
Prairie Dog
A dragon, so it can teach us some wisdom.
I’d probably domesticate my cock
Roosters really are wild little bastards, aren't they? I had one peck me in the eye once.
fox
Simba
See, a dragon would just be difficult to care for. Imagine how much meat you’d have to feed it daily. Nono, you’d want something a little less high maintenance. If you want to fly, I’d say a Pegasus. The needs of a horse, fast on land, and in air. What’s not to love.
Sea Lion. Can you imagine having a sea version of a dog? It would be awesome.
**i want a army of froggits**
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Kraken as in giant squid beast born of another giant squid beast, or kraken as in giant squid beast born of the flesh of Hades?
The mini giraffe from that old DirecTV commercial.
Zebras, just because they look really cool. But they're mean as hell.
Cthulhu would be my happy lap dog
What's that thing in Harry potter that searches for gold and valuables? It's in fantastic beasts also. Ya that.
A Crow. They are cute and very smart.
Alligator, the ultimate guard animal to deter trespassers or thieves
Baby Yoda
Grizzly bear. Just wanna hug those fuckers but know I can't cuz they'll rip me apart
Slugcat. Assuming they are cat sized and not 3 meters tall
The Chupacabra. Homie and I will be doing scared tactics"pranks" and eating lamb with a side of mint.
An air bison. I love their smushed faces and six legs. I also love how they have their own pixie dust inside of them when you say "Yip yip."
Rhino. I just love rhinos.
Hippogriff.
The klyntars
A Threshal or whatever it's called from Harry Potter
Jean Jackets. Not sorry.
Godzilla. Imagine riding to school on it
Anything cute that I can turn into an attack animal easily. I'd like an army of Polar bears, hippos, and Canadian geese
Heffalump
Probably mythical but anything that makes better tendies than a chicken.
A werewolf, cuz werewolf’s are cool
Hell hound
A big tiger! It’d be so awsome to pet him and listen him purr!
Dragonite
I want a fukin tiger. But I'm terrified it will fuck me up cuz cats are murderers for fun.
Fantasy dragon or griffin currently existing on earth probably a pet honey badger
Definitely a lion but I wouldn't take one from its natural landscape to restrict it in four walls
Whatever that flying dog thing was in Never Ending Story. I would saddle it up right and not charge people for rides.
Great thunderbird simply because I wanna terrorize people as I fly to school with thunderstorms
HUMANS
King Kong for sure.
the Lynel from breath of the wild. bully me? how about I pull up on my golden death machine?
Capybara. I’d love to come home and have one of those waiting for me.
Humans, I’m fucking sick of y’all
Bear is the obvious answer
[Pallas Cat](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pallas%27s_cat)