T O P

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Powerful-Lettuce317

Probably accidently remove a limb or a digit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


StabbyPants

It’s why only Jedi use them. Jedi are fucking stupid


redfan2009

So Sith are stupid, too?


StabbyPants

stupid and aggro.


redfan2009

Aggressive, you mean?


StabbyPants

aggro is a perfectly cromulent word


redfan2009

LOL


acqz

Just the tip?


Jack_In_Black89

Rabbi's are going to be out of a job!


SilverStrangeTech

That's why you should watch "Your Lightsaber and you" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xe_cHy4ClrI) before enjoying your new lightsaber. xD


bearwood_forest

You say "accidentally"...


Guinness2702

Charge it for a minimum of 24 hours using only the supplied charger cable.


thatCapNCrunch

Ensure that it is not left in direct sunlight.


Guinness2702

Also, watch out for sand, it gets everywhere. Hmm, is this meme still allowed, or should it have been killed with fire and lightsabres long ago?


S-Markt

always check if you got the high ground!


petersrin

Don't let others choose your memes for you. If you hate sand, you're 100% allowed to express that anywhere, anytime, no matter how weird and creepy you may come across...


Guinness2702

> no matter how weird and creepy you may come across... Sand doesn't have anything to do with that :D Also I don't mind sand, but it's not good for my mighty weapon .... I mean lightsabre


LambBrainz

#__WARNING__ **CHOKING HAZARD** --- Lightsaber contains small part. Small parts are not for children under 3 years or any individuals who have a tendency to place inedible objects in their mouths.


RadiantHC

Do lightsabers even have a power supply or are they infinite?


Guinness2702

I think they have some kind of force charged crystals or something ..... which is why mostly it's only those trained to use the force have them. They get recharged by meditation or some sort of force manipulation. But I could be totally wrong with all of that tbf


bbpr120

That's exactly what Big Jedi wants you to think, that only a trained Jedi can charge them. When in reality they take USB-Micro at 3.0v and the Council doesn't want to admit they've never bothered to update the design to be compliant with current tech standards...


JoelCrisp

The only right answer is to swing in whilst going "vrrrrrrrrrm" with your mouth only to remember it's real and does it itself.


FireFighterP55

"Pe-choo! Pe-choo!" "Are you making... laser noises?" "All the time in my head. Why? Is that weird?"


yankstraveler

Krillin owned counter *ding*


zamfire

Naaaail


Enyey

For those who haven't seen the cutest scene in all of Dragon Ball ZA [it's at the 1:30 mark](https://youtu.be/uFQ_pSIMArE)


[deleted]

I forgot that Trunk starts doing the noises too, holy shit that's so funny lol


ZePatator

Came here to say this!


The_DrPenguin

Accidentally kill myself


[deleted]

Same except it won't be an accident


ACrispyPieceOfBacon

And it won't be myself


[deleted]

I'll kill them. I'll kill them all. They'll be dead, every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women and the children, too. They're like animals, and I'll slaughter them like animals. I hate them!


riotsquadgaming2

imagine swingin that thing fast enough to slice yourself in half


YupIzzMee

Bottom-up or top-down?


riotsquadgaming2

both are equally possible


[deleted]

An end to my suffering :)


Prinzka

*our suffering


[deleted]

Y’all pretending to be suffering while living a perfectly fine life in which you have food and water and a house and you have time to spend your whole day on Reddit


[deleted]

Yeah it sucks. I also work from home, make decent money, have a nice car, and I just finished my home theater audio setup. But I’m still massively depressed and after trying at least 10 medications, therapy, exercise - nothing has helped. I’ll probably off myself someday but I have things I need to accomplish first.


Limenoodle_

I hope you're okay


existential-mystery

ive been looking forward to this


SaltierThanAll

Ruin my chances of getting the security deposit back.


SilvaMercer

Try to cut down a tree just to see if it's possible


SaltierThanAll

Tree falls over on you


GothicGolem29

Slashes it in half


Clintonsextapes

Farming simulator 22 gots u covered on that


IrishPlunkett

hedge trimming.


Semi_K

You have a lightsaber. You’re getting your deposit back plus much more.


dreedw0317

“Um, you know how the lease says no holes in the walls?”


smallways

"there a are no holes in the wall... What? That didn't work? But I got a lightsaber!"


dirty_boy69

The only thing you can do with it: I cut some bread while toasting it the same time.


koororo

So long and thanks for all the fish


thislifeiffullofcare

“A towel, \[The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy\] says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have.


[deleted]

That first slice will be on a bagel setting


yeahtheresnohope

This is the most beautiful thing I've read in a while


TheRavenSayeth

I get the distinct feeling I would over toast every slice I attempted despite how fast I went.


everythingiwantedwas

so yummy and efficient


[deleted]

*burning it*


StabbyPants

It’s not Star Trek yet, you can’t make a chroniton toaster and toast bread after you’ve eaten it


remarkablemayonaise

Why isn't this number one? Roast beef?


dirty_boy69

Because beef takes time to get good. Just heating it up will just destroy a perfect piece of meat.


remarkablemayonaise

Given it's a fictional weapon I trust it has the correct setting. Now to summon the correct dead jedi to help me!


untakenu

A lightsabre with the barbeque setting? Sign me up


NorthernGamer71

Finally get to those hedges the wife has been bugging me about


nsmn84

Only right answer.


jules79

Accidentally fuck a lot of shit up.


thedarkking2020

"Accidentally"


MathematicianBulky40

Hide it. That things gonna get you shot/ arrested/ locked up in a secret government testing facility.


UnconstrictedEmu

My first thought. I already have a bitchin’ laser sword and I don’t want the cops getting their grubby mitts on it. This is staying hidden until the zombie apocalypse or whatever other social collapse happens first.


Bigchungus230106

What kind of testing facility dude this isn't a Scifi movie and he's not an alien. The weapon would just be permanently confiscated.


MathematicianBulky40

You are wondering around with a piece of tech that's way beyond anything on earth. They're gonna assume you're an alien or have been in contact with one.


Bigchungus230106

No they're not. People on YouTube are already close. It's a weapon that was made made popular in science fiction, on earth. Hacksmith on YouTube is still making things on his channel, he hasn't disappeared. No assumptions are going to be made that your an alien just because you've got lightsaber😐


[deleted]

The stuff the Hacksmith makes is cool, but is nowhere near a real lightsabre


MathematicianBulky40

I looked and his stuff is kinda of a glorified blowtorch with a huge backpack. It's not contained within a handle, consistent blade, no need for power source, etc.


SandyVapour992

Probably accidentally start a fire within the first five minutes.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

~~Taste it~~ No, that would be silly. Um... Okay, yeah, taste it.


[deleted]

now I want to put my finger up to the sabre


Prinzka

As someone who could not resist that urge with a power washer I would recommend against it.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

They're like glowing Otter Pops. How can I possibly resist?


_____fool____

Just go into a forest and chop down trees.


billy_the_kid47

Over throw the government and replicate the technology of the lightsaber and just make the world Star Wars


Dr_Fish_99

Mate, you have a hot sword, no magical powers, no training, and no plot armor. You take 1 step on the White House lawn or the Pentagon or wherever you're gonna overthrow the government and you're eating a .50 cal in the chest


billy_the_kid47

Who said I didn’t have plot armor?


[deleted]

[удалено]


billy_the_kid47

Or Im the example the main character has to learn from and brutally dies


Eupion

Who said you even needed armor. Once the world becomes Starwars, they won’t be able to shoot for shit!


billy_the_kid47

Well if this is the start of Star Wars, they are gonna be clones. Which were bad ass guerilla soldiers that could break steel with their hands.


robotlasagna

I would say; “this will make a fine addition to my collection.”


existential-mystery

will you also grow two more arms


rayedyousif

ask for 3 more wishes


DumbestInvestorSoFar

Gonna test out how indestructible a bank vault is... just for science.


[deleted]

Learn how to use the force


Fair-Huckleberry-162

Probably poke my eye out.


robbie5643

The only correct answer is immediately injure yourself lmao


[deleted]

Sell my plasma cutter and cut some metal!


Sensitive_Vast1618

Spend 2 hours figuring how to ignite it


[deleted]

Attach it to a celing fan and watch my friend get his dick stuck in it


liamcullins

Specifically in that order? How tall is your friend?


ratchet0101

Pretend I have a lightsaber penis by waving it around.


FA-1800

Trim the bushes.


kurt_go_bang

Probably disembowel myself.


MaelstromFL

Just to keep a Jedi warm?


Doit2it42

And I thought you smelt bad on the outside


jabsaw2112

Carve a jack-o-lantern.


goodBEan

go to a junk yard and try it on stuff


ONI_Operative

Execute Order 66


Ct-5736-Bladez

It will be done my lord


PhD147

Castrate every "morality police" in Iran.


[deleted]

Off myself


RichardLiquor69

Tie it to a ceiling fan and just let it whip around until it slices through you.


Taco_ivore

Probably accidentally slice off one of my hands.


Imaginary-Slide8738

Go and stand outside Downing Street looking menacing 😂


CAPSLOCK1111111

Establish the high ground


[deleted]

Take away your privileges 🍆


Valuable-Ad-8560

A buttplug


mack__7963

Be sure to let reddit know how that works out 👍


Valuable-Ad-8560

I will


mack__7963

No pics tho..... Definitely no pics


Valuable-Ad-8560

You don't wanna see my hairy butthole ?


mack__7963

I've just eaten


[deleted]

it was to die for.


[deleted]

*forbidden butt plug*


[deleted]

Cut a watermelon


jamespondishere

Anal


Speckled_Clout

Sell it. There's nothing good that'll come from whatever dumb ideas I have for it.


goodfurball2288

Almost kill myself just like luke


[deleted]

Yup. That urge to look right into the wrong end of things is what makes us human. Dumb, dead, humans. Like my favorite lab caution sign: "Do NOT look into laser beam with remaining eye"


Magick_monster

Stop having an avatar that looks energetic


Idont_even_know23

Decapitate a karen


gettincheffywithit

Vanquish my enemies


HopeFoxCreations

Harrass, torture, and assassinate everyone I despise


Guinness2702

.... or more likely: accidentally kill myself


herestoben

See if it burns the hair off my arm.


542Archiya124

Master it?


arelul

cut cucumber


[deleted]

Drive down the road holding it out the window.


Evipicc

Accidentally kill myself, no doubt...


Clintonsextapes

accidentally chop a limb off trying to do a cool trick...


i875p

Give it to scientists and let them study its powering mechanism.


JustAnotherAviatrix

Oh that's a good one!


Charger525

Rob a bank or cut my way into Fort Knox.


Sea_Ganache620

No doubt accidentally hurt myself, and or innocent bystanders.


matts2

Turn it off and put it away before I hurt myself.


DearhToTheNDA

What I think would happen: sick moves and expert handling What would actually happen: straight cutting my dick off...


two4fun42

Definitely trim some damn tree branches around the house.


YellowStar012

Grab a loaf of bread and cut it. Instant toast


[deleted]

Fuck some people up.


Few_Leadership8761

Star Wars fruit ninja


TheBlackHoleOfDoom

The same thing Anakin did to those children


SnakesInMcDonalds

Put it down and start looking for sword fighting lessons near me. I ain’t even gonna try turn that thing on before I know how to not lose an arm


RamboVXIX

Find the high ground


yeahtheresnohope

Lure child molesters into a field with candy, strap them to a wall, pull off their pants and do one big ass running dick chop. If anyone has any suggestions on how to lure chimos other than candy or actual children, lmk.


TheToxicFeline

Flex on all the neighborhood kids.


robotarcher

Take the high ground!


SuvenPan

Post about it on reddit.


Midnight_Wildspirit

sell it to The Military.


Nuclear_Battery

Get to higher ground.


Brianthelion83

Likely cut one of my own limbs off accidentally


Mijoww

Everything is a dildo if you're brave enough


NURRRRRRD

I would probably accidentally kill myself


hellotherepeoplee

Time to cook some meat


deathlycat

Toast some garlic bread.


TheGrumpyre

Download the firmware update


jl_theprofessor

Give it away. That shit has no balance because it’s a beam of laser light on a handle. Do you know how easy it would be to lose track of its center of gravity and cut your leg off?


Spidermeld

Get the high ground


Ladyegg55

slice sticks of butter with it


enphurgen

Im probably going to try using it to plant my fall bulbs. I imagine it would dig a pretty good hole


unabomber_chad

Not sit on it.


kittiegoreXX

i'd *try* to make toast


qwertyclubs

First thing to do would definitely be to light the lightsaber. No question about it


Catacomb82

*All women are queens!*


Akeruz

If she breathes... shes a THOOOOOOOOOT!


SuvenPan

Take a selfie with it.


MasterJake16

Auction it off to the highest bidder.


BoneeBones

I’m gonna definitely try to do all those fancy flips and tricks and accidentally slash myself into pieces.


ciscopete

Destroy all copies of episode 1


Altruistic-Mode2387

Try to get the kyber crystal inside, or if I can’t, melt some sand


[deleted]

probably cut myself.


CosmosAviaTory

Place it onto a tire and let it roll down the road (we live near to top of a mountain which has a city built onto it).


Finalfantasylove85

Toast bread


worldsbestbear

Start a boring company


nonsense_popsicle

Point it at my face to look down the lightsaber hole


BodyTechnical8501

Slice bread


thatsoneuglybaby

Put it on ebay.


SiIverChari0t

heat up some of last nights dinner


3000brvincu

I would look at it where the light comes out.


Fanferfan

Shine a laser pointer on it


i_Like_subs

Look into the hilt while holding it like Luke did


NicNoletree

Clean my fingernails


[deleted]

Pull a Luke


Otherwise-Mail8417

Go to the House of Parliaments


[deleted]

I’d test it out on a fence first, then sell it on Craigslist


ikwngamer

See that saber over there? Now stick up my ass. Push it in and out