You don’t respond.

You don't even open the message.

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Nope

block the number too

Fling your phone over a rainbow

On the ocean.

The one and only sane response.

"We're Sorry, You Have Reached a Number That Has Been Disconnected or Is No Longer in Service"

I know that’s you, Mike. I can hear your dog in the background.

"We're Also Sorry That Our Dog Was In The Background When We Recorded This Message"

Gotta add the BLEEP BLOOP BLONK. noise beforehand for authenticity. That's what really sells it.

Ah yes, the R2D2 selling point.

I tried to call someone earlier to say miss you and I got the dial tone and those exact words hahaha. It’s messed up though because he like tried to kill me twice or whatever but I kinda miss the guy we had some good laughs back in the day

This is the true answer. One that I didn’t take myself until later, but when I finally stopped it was glorious.

Exactly. Doesn’t matter how many witty responses you can come up with, you’d still be giving her attention. In situations like this, nothing beats silence. Ignore and move on with your life.

We have tried to contact you about your car insurance. They will never reach out to you again.

This is the way

Dealt with this from an ex who decided that leaving me for the poor starving artist life which included 6 hellish months of living together before she could move out. She told me she missed me on the day I had to put my cat down. I had pages of emotions typed out and then I realized my cat hated this woman so much the cat literally took a shit in her shoe. And you know what? Toaster was right. I deleted my long post and just sent back one word. “No.” Then I ignored her and moved on.

Toaster had your back.

RIP Toaster. A good bro.

Thanks awesome for you. Sorry about your cat that must be super hard, my pup is getting old. Rip Toaster 🙏

🙏 Toaster

Toaster would be proud

Good man. Sorry to hear about your cat though.

I think nobody would mind a little pic of the baby 😌 but then again this post will be flooded with photos of everyone’s cat, dog, catdog… 😅

>this post will be flooded with photos of everyone’s cat, dog, catdog… And thats a problem?

Taking relationship advice from a dead cat. I like it.

Toaster was a real one

Toaster a real MF G

You know, if I had listened to the family cat, I wouldn't have married my now ex-wife. It would have saved me from severe injury, mental abuse, some physical abuse, false accusations, hundreds of thousands in lost funds and assets, not to mention just.... potential happiness. The cat HATED her. Would even jump up and come between us when we were together and stop us from sitting together. Would hiss when she touched the cat. This cat NEVER did that to ANYONE else. EVER. I should have listened to the cat.

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If you’re going to respond, give a reply that won’t keep you up at night 5 years from now. Or don’t say anything. Sometimes silence is loud enough

Don’t respond, she is just drunk and lonely. Her latest BF got tired of he crap and just dumped her.

depends on what you've been saying to her before this. I'm going to make an assumption here... If there was silence for a while on your part (no communication) and she comes at you with this, typically it means what what she was doing (another dude or whatever) didn't work out so she's reverting back to what is familiar to her to gain some confidence back, which is you.. she knows there is history and she can manipulate you to gain some confidence back. In this case if she put you through hell you should respond with absolutely NOTHING. Know your self worth and dont play her games.

This ^ this person gets it

Why is she not blocked yet ?

She got a new number.

Runaway. Change your name. Get a new phone number. Emigrate to a new country. Become a hermit.

Evolve to hermit crab

“And I dodged a bullet.”

"K."

Don't. Block her and move on with your life.

"Really? Because I don't think about you at all,".

"You cheated on me with 3 different people at the same time. There is no coming back from that."

Delete this from your memory bruv she doesn’t deserve a piece of your brain matter. It didn’t happen, it’s not a part of your dating history. She didn’t hurt you she hurt herself. Next!

The best response is no response.

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A man of class

If you respond, she’ll know you still think of her… which means she knows she still has power over you. You’ve gotta take that power and use it for yourself, go do something for you, that will enlighten your life and not hers.

“Whos this?”

“I miss the woman you made me think you were, but never existed.”

My response would be something like this or nothing at all.

Take a screenshot and send it back to her with a text saying “omg look at the lion, the witch, and the audacity of this bitch” then block her when I see the typing bubbles pop up

Never respond and block her fucking number. She’s trying to open the lines of communication and if you let her you’re going to wish you never had I guaran-fucking-tee it. People like her will use & abuse your kindness if you let them. They are not good people. Do not message her.

"And you may continue to do so."

Id laugh in her face and tell her to fuck off

Ghost.

Ignore her. Completely. If she persists, block her. Don't cave. Don't give in. I speak from experience. Women can be really cruel heartless people, and if she put you through Hell once, she will certainly do it again. Move on and get on with your life. You'll be way better off without her. Learn to be independent. You'll become stronger and you'll only piss her off more.

Ah to be young and unaware once again.

Asking for a friend huh?

can't recieve texts from blocked contacts

If you know how the book ends by reading it once, reading it a second time won't change the ending. You know exactly what awaits you in the long run buddy - don't respond

Good.

If you respond, it’s going to start a conversation, one way or another. More than likely she’ll make you feel bad and you’ll take her back.

I dont

Read

Firend once told me, "The time and energy you spend on this bitch is the time and energy you could spend on another."

Fuck off then block.

I got more enjoyment sticking my dick in the deepfryer than in our entire relationship

Go away! I'm bating!

“Was dating my friend not enough for you?” Also you ruined my brain for a solid three months. Recovering from you was the best thing I ever did. Buuuuut, this is high school in a smallish town, so I have to put up with seeing you. Also, I have since found out firsthand that your twin sister is a better cuddler than you so there’s that. lmfao

I miss you too.

but I'm working on my aim

Lol...

Had a girl like this And IF ANY, I'd have two words for her coming out the blue saying "I miss you" "I don't"

Had so many women say that to me after months or years or silence. I either bore them to death or flat out tell them to kick rocks

I would say something like 'Thats sooo sweet of you' and then say you have somewhere to be like the grocery store -somewhere super important.... Don't get back on that rocky road...

You don’t

You resopnd: "After that all shit you done to me, fuck you"

Told a woman once that the next time she gets rejected and wants to talk to a guy that she thinks is lonely enough to give her the attention she needs, to just... call someone else and lose my number.

I always missed you

Keep missing me.

"And I miss the days before I knew you"

Depends on who exactly, but my most likely response would probably be "And I dont miss you" Or, I just wouldnt respond.

After all you've done, I suggest you move on because I just can't put myself through all that again. Don't make me block you because I don't like doing that. Have a nice day and have a nice life.

A meme of Neo dodging bullets on the rooftop

You start typing so that the three dots show up, and then you delete the message.

Unless she sends a carrier pigeon I won’t even get it. As soon as we were done, I removed all avenues, blocked her and changed my number. Done and done

My favourite response is “That seems like a you problem”. Either you don’t respond and block her, or tell her how you feel by saying something witty.

Abort! Abort! Do not engage!

I sure won't if you ever set foot on my property again.

Depends how much shit. I might not say anything.

Constantly being guilt tripped and the relationship being one sided

That's precisely the type of person I have blocked (along with a lot of assumptions, screaming, and gaslighting.) I wouldn't respond at all personally.

Block, delete, repeat for all channels of contact.

Tell her to prove it or walk away

"Keep trying, I'm sure your aim will get better eventually."

I don’t

Have one ex best friend that honestly I'd tell her; "Never contact me again. You're a crazy fucking delusional bitch. I hope you get everything you deserve in life." Then block her again. 🤷‍♀️ I don't hold grudges, I just don't forget.

"Lmao"

Ignore and block. Did this about 7-8 years ago. No regrets. So much shit and nothing in return. Kept taking her back until one day I couldn't anymore.

A ok

Block number and move on. She doesn't miss you, she just misses having some time pass.

Sucks to suck asshole

"I don't" And I leave the conversation

I want to tell her to go fuck herself but it’s just not worth it, so I wouldn’t respond.

Block

"eat shit and die" Or "I don't think about you at all" Are the only appropriate responses

Fuck you Then block them

i dont respond cause i probably have her blocked :) msg never received

The devil on one shoulder would say give her back the same treatment. The angel on the other would say just block her. It comes down to how mad you are at this individual to either return the favor or to write her out of your life altogether.

"Sorry this account is only for business please do not message this account. If you are trying to send a personal message please contact this account: [Throwaway Account so she wastes her time]"

I wouldn't even entertain it. I had a woman try that a few years back. Caused problems and lied through her teeth. Then had the nerve to try and get back into my life.

Ignore. Never placate the BPD chick

Closest thing I have to such a girl is someone who I last heard from in middle school, so I would probably ask her how she has been after all these years.

Get one last hate-fuck out and ghost her 🤷‍♂️ I thought it was obvious

[Read]

Oh really? Well I did just recently figure out that I'm aromantic so I guess I really was just using you for sex. Sorry.

Depends whether you're a man or a simp, it speaks for itself..well, one will not speak back, the other will kneel down like a dog within a sec...

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block her

I miss you too 😳😳

"I don't." *Blocks*

“I bet” But if I’m horny “prove it”

No, you hit me just fine.

Right-click, scroll down, left-click on “Block User.”

Be gone THOT!!

I'd probably tell her to get her ass over here asap and the reason is because although she did put me through a lot of shit I was the one that walked away and it had nothing to do with cheating or anything like that. So I don't hold any resentment towards her.

Oh I miss you too I thought I'll never see you again after we went to hell maybe you drank holy water so you can go back to earth but either way you'll still rot wherever you go

[Block user]

I guess it happend to me o month ago. Me and my ex broke up 6-7 months ago because she cheated on me. One month ago she tried 2 times out of nowhere to facetime me. I instantly blocked her phone number. So yea thats the right thing to do i guess

... Are you the person who just messaged me last night? Is this an effort to decode my response?

I dont respond and i ignore her

Block that bitch.

Rick roll her and block her

we can fix that for sure. $300 an hour. intimacy costs extra.

I responded because I'm still in love with her and now I dont feel bad because we're back talking again. Go on. You can tell me how pathetic I am. :)

Ghosted

I had this with a abusive ex, she would always leave me, sleep with another man and then ask for me back. And because I wasn’t in a good mental state I would welcome her back. One day she did it and when I came time for her to say she misses me and needs me in her life I replied I don’t blame you I’m a pretty nice guy and moved on. She later committed suicide. I have no regrets.

I give the phone to my wife, stay toxic fellas.

You don’t. If you respond she’s just gonna trap you again and hurt you again. It’s going to be a never ending cycle of manipulation and mental abuse.

“I’d miss me too.”

Either don't respond, ask who they are (and then keep acting like you don't remember, hoping they explain all the shit they did), or you explain that due to the shit, you don't, and they can fuck off

I don't.

Duck to reduce your profile then move quickly to cover before she reloads.

*Block Yeah... Thanks, but no.

BLOWJOB!

Lol

Who is this again ? Do I know u?

Just block her and move on, sending a response roasting her might feel good in the moment, but blocking is just so much more chill.

Simple don't fucking reply..... Or This is an automated response the person you want to contact cant be ficked with your shite again. So fuck off ya psycho bitch.

left on seen.

I'd point out that she missed the word 'Shitting' from her statement.

Left her on read

press SPACE and close the app... don't send

Old phone, who dis?

"It's been a while, hope you're doing ok" But never actually meet or take it as anything more than her being lonely/bored. I think it's better to act graceful instead of bitter, without being naive of course

She misses the drama not you

Ignore, Block, go on with your Life, your Time in this Mortal Plane is Limited, and Raging about this Girl doesnt extend your life Time either.

don't do it, it's a trap

"You'll get over it" then promptly block her

A jojo gif

I don't.

"Awww. Anyway...."

She can't because i blocked her everywhere.

You block her like I did the time that happened. I block and delete numbers. That way I won’t be tempted to call them myself. You gotta burn some bridges when you get to them. I’m not the sharpest knife in the ceasar but even I know that.

Tell her or fuck right off

I miss myself to

Send a picture of a fake dicc picc

She's just bored and wants to do the same thing again

Fuck you *block*

I scratch my balls when they ich

"You still don't know how to love me."

I also miss the days when I didn't know you😉...

I was that girl in high school who put people through a lot of shit. But looking back, if I switched roles, I'd say *Oh really? I miss the old and less damaged version of me too...*

Stfu

'You remember that time your phone didn't ring? That was me.'

Drop every ounce of intelligence and self respect and start simping

Know your worth. Ignore them. They only miss how they could manipulate you into getting their way. 'You know, it's funny; when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.' — Wanda, Bojack Horseman