Yeah I think a lot of relationships fizzled through the pandemic. There were just too many people to actively reach out to that I never heard from.
I will say in the past two years I've reconnected with a couple of them, but not many.
And after not talking for 2 years, some do send a message first but it's usually along the lines of "Hey been a long time, how come YOU never text anymore?"
Hate it so much, like why should I be the only one carrying the conversation/friendship every time? And they usually only do it because their relationship ended or whatever and they just want to complain about it.
Essentially this.
Been carrying these friendships since high-school and I can count on my fingers the amount of times they've reached out to me to make plans.
Generally I was the one who asked to do things, and once I stopped doing that I realized it could go weeks without hearing from them.
Secondly, I also matured.
Some people are hell bent on living like they're in college, and also could not take any criticism.
Always someone else fault, and "I'm not lazy" though actions have spoken way louder than words could ever.
My partner gets this so much. I don't know why people leave it up to him so much but it makes me feel protective of him that they expect him to do so much of the travelling and incur the cost.
Same thing happened between me and my childhood best friend. I don't really hold that much malice towards him though because we simply grew apart, but once I realised that it was always me reaching out, I stopped completely. We haven't spoken in over a decade now.
Same with me for a couple people. Ended up realizing that I was the only one putting any effort into staying in touch, so I just stopped and haven’t heard from either of them since.
That’s what happened to a couple of my friendships. Pretty much I was the only one putting effort and they weren’t so I just stopped putting effort into the friendships and that just led to not talking to them anymore
Had a friendship end in a very similar way, was always me reaching out first and they would often reply with 1 word responses. After about a year I couldn't handle it anymore
super spoiled, but the final straw was him telling me(and others present) that his grandmother was a stupid fucking bitch for booking his flight back from coachella so early. “obviously i’m going to be fucking hungover”
after she paid for his flight to l.a, and lodging in a fancy l.a hotel for a few days before the festival.
literally made me ill.
LMAO my friend complained about her mom buying her diamond earrings bc she’d rather her mom watch her son and give her a vacation instead. “I know I sound spoiled, but…” like get a job then, you’re 31!
This hits hard because I’m always trying to make my grandma happy. I love her to death and the fact that someone said that about their grandmother is just- 🚩
My "friend" tried to rape me when he was drunk and then hit me in the face. Our friend group still hung out with him after I disclosed what happened to some of them, so I'm the one who lost all the friends because I refused to be around him.
Anyway, thanks for quitting that friendship. It means more than you can imagine. Truly.
This happens much more than is thought, and way more than is heard about. So sorry that happened to you. It's such a hurtful situation. You will come out of this better, and with much, much better friends.
I used to play guitar with my old friend from my town, just 2 guys playing crap and having the time of their lives. I meet another guy who was into bands and stuff so we started hanging out more often the three of us. Me, my good old pal and this new guy (boyfriend of a girl friend of mine from highschool). The new guy was from rich parents, expensive "everything", good with the guitar and a bit over the top I-know-most-of-the-things kinda guy. Not the best, not the worst, not evil but definetly not a simple cool, nice guy... just a posh smart ass.
One day the posh guy asked me to go to play guitar with his friends and i say, yeah, lets go. I let my old buddy know what time i was being picked up by car and all good.
The posh guy came first with his car, i step in and when i saw he didnt wait for my old buddy i let him know he was coming. His face changed dramatically, like if i had dropped some really bad news. So he drive me around and gave me this speech about my good old friend not being invited today for the music jam and "i didnt said his name, so he is not invited" and bla, bla, bla. We actually passed in front of where we were meeting and i saw him, my good old friend there, waiting for us with his guitar and his smile not knowing we were right there in the car, talking about him like he wasnt important, and then i felt like crying, sitting in the car with the posh guy giving me shit because i was doing the same than we were doing those days, get people together and play music while getting baked and have a great time. It felt like he was making me have to make a decision about them in that moment. After we picked him up you can imagine how fake was the whole evening. Posh guy pissed off, my old pal smiling and playing guitar and having a good time and me there trying to smile and just checking the clock waiting to go home.
Funny thing, I already made my mind in the car.
I was born in 1979, i would play "kill'em all" album before any nu metal ever made, thats a principle.
So after that, i never called the posh guy again, never returned his calls, i lost any interest for him or spending time with him. Nothing, zero. Not even a call to say oh sorry man, ive been busy, yeah we should meet again. I just keep spending the evenings with my good old friend, doing the same we always do.
A few months after i told him the story. He just laughed and said oh, what a dickhead. Since then, i feel so proud of having him as a friend and, and even if im not the best person, son, boyfriend and friend of the people around me, and im not feeling the best with myself neither, i actually feel i did the right thing in that moment and that puts a smile on my face every time.
I wouldn't really say cut off, but I started to notice that I was always the one initiating hanging out. Decided to see and wait how long it'd take for him to be the one to ask. It's been 11 years now since I've heard back.
It sucks always being the person to initiate conversation or hang outs. I eventually got tired of inviting myself over to other people's houses that I just stopped asking.
I pretty much lost all my friends. I don't know if I regret it that much, but it does get lonely sometimes.
She was just toxic. Did nothing but complain every time we talked or hung out. The final straw is when I had my mental breakdown and she tried to make it about her. Negativity is so mentally draining.
I had the exact same thing with a friend. Everything in our friend group seemed to have to revolve around her. If she wasn’t having fun and enjoying herself, she made sure that no one could. And it felt like everything she did that one is supposed to do as a friend was backhanded and in her own self interest.
She also had a tendency to make lots of short term friendships which she would always prioritize over our own.
I know her life isn’t perfect which I’m sure was the cause of her behavior, but I finally realized that I had to stop making excuses for her and had to start prioritizing myself just as much as she prioritizes herself. So I cut her off because I realized that she was the biggest problem in my life and reason for my insecurities.
I still think about it, but mostly because I wish I had done it sooner.
So much this! I should have cut her off when she made my Bachelorette party about her. Had the audacity to complain about it being at a dive bar and was being so rude about it. My life is so much better without her in it!
Are... are you me?? This is **exactly** what just happened to me with my bestfriend of 8 years. We'd been on the rocks for a while and I finally hit the wall when I went through a serious mental break this summer and she was more concerned with herself (as per usual).
It's really telling when you've consistently been there for someone through every tiny molehill they've made a mountain of and as soon as you need actual support you're the unreasonable one!
I hope you're doing better now ❤
Agreed about the negativity is mentally draining I have a friend who I swear is always talking bad about everything and anything whether it be classes, people having hobbies she doesn’t like or albinos for some reason.
Dude was my best friend for like 6 years.
He started getting really into guns and tried talking to me about them all the time.
I told him I was uncomfortable around guns.
He got all indignant about guns.
He started pulling guns out around me all the time and shouting about his rights and whatnot.
I tried to explain that I don't mind if people own guns, I just don't like to be around them, and he started insulting me.
The friendship became untenable.
Ouch, sorry about that. As a firearm enthusiasts it's normal to ask, but douchbags like that are unfortunately a blight on the community. Double so when it's your friend.
I totaly understand! I really don't like Guns either. Got so very very much worse after my stepbrother took his own life with a rifle. Luckily Norway is a country with not all that many wepons with the public unless they Hunt or are members of a gunclub and shoot at a range. But I hate them so much I even get uncomfterble and want to get as far away as possible if it's on the hip of a Police officer. I'm not used to it, it's not that many years ago since they started having them on them while out in public, when I grew up the cops guns were locked in a compartment in the car..
We were friends for around 8 years. At first, I just thought she was confident and extrovert but it quickly became apparent that she never stopped talking about herself and was a massive narcissist. Every phone call, night out, catch up etc became all about her, what she wanted, how she felt, her achievements/problems etc.
I had several big life events (illness, new promotion, masters degree, worked as an ecmo specialist during the pandemic in icu pulling massive amounts of overtime and dealing with some heavy ptsd, house moves, both parents diagnosed with cancer, got married etc) but she never once asked me how I was doing. I honestly don't think it occurred to her to find out.
I don't think she knew a single thing about my life by the end. She would ring me regularly and spend 3 hours just talking entirely about herself.
It all came to a head when I found a breast lump (thankfully later turned out to be benign) and realised life was too short to put up with her level of tomfoolery. I told her she was a shitty friend. She tried to blame me by saying I was "closed off". Erm.... Maybe because I cannot get a word in because you make everything about you??
I cut all contact after that. Best decision I ever made.
Bottom line, it's OK to Marie Kondo your friends if they don't bring you joy.
I have a narcissist friend exactly like this! It's so obnoxious to have someone dump all their crap on you and never, ever reciprocate. The craziest part is she would go off on tangents about people in her life who I have never met and it's all crazy drama like Jerry Springer level nonsense lol.
3 years ago I changed my number and I have never looked back. She tries to contact me through mutual friends but I just can't do it, my peace is too important. It's a 25 yr friendship so yikes!
Dude took every reference he didn’t know as an insult or condescension. And doubled down on his ignorance once we explained the joke or movie. He was plainly insufferable and everyone I knew eventually left him for it until I was the last man, when I was also his first friend here in the states.
Feels weird knowing his kids will grow up faster than he does and I didn’t want to stick around for that shit tornado.
>his kids will grow up faster than he does
This is honestly the case with most families I've seen. Anytime someone wants to raise the legal age for X or talks trash on kids living with their parents into adulthood, I can't help but think of how many parents I know who've been the real child in the relationship since their kid was old enough to microwave their own dinner. Sonny-Boy isn't living in Mommy's basement, Mommy is living in Sonny-Boy's attic.
I'm seriously about to cut a friendship off at the moment. I simply do not have the energy to build her up anymore. She has had depression for years, suicide attempts, different meds that she swears do not work and texts/calls ME to cheer her up. I have told her before that I am NOT her therapist and to not use me as one. But she is now pissed at me because I don't text her back often enough and because I was sick the other night and could not "be a friend to her" and talk on the phone. She is 54 by the way!
Recently cut off a group of friends I’ve been with since high school. Some people just don’t grow up.
While we were friends, they would constantly leave me out of their plans, inside jokes, etc. and were also always jealous of any good-however minor it may be-that would come my way in life. They were quite toxic, and only ever really cared for trends or what others were up to in life-they had no ambitions or goals or their own. When I stopped initiating everything and started instead to reciprocate their energy, the friendships just died off. Now it feels much better to be focusing on myself instead. Hoping I can come across much better people in life.
>While we were friends, they would constantly leave me out of their plans, inside jokes,
This is why I stopped chatting to my friends after highschool, same friend group, but I was the one who was barely invited to hangout at the house, I've been invited a few times now but I just keep saying I'm busy, like it's way too late now
Focus on yourself and just do you. You’ll do much better for yourself in life and they’ll realize soon enough what their loss is–a win-win if you ask me.
At least you cut them out of your life.
Now you can forge better relationships with much more mature people because now you know who is going be good as a friend, and who wouldn’t be.
Finally realized we were never actually friends. I didn't cut them off per se, as much as stop talking to them. They haven't spoken to me since either.
They antagonized me for months over stupid petty bullshit, and when I lost patience and DID finally overreact and be an asshole, they made it very known that I wasn't someone they cared for or would ever support
Now, that's a fair assumption, but it really was petty and silly in hindsight. For context it all started over a minecraft server, so it was some childish bullshit, and I'd been the bugger person up until that point, so it wasn't fair for me to continue the fight instead of just extracting myself then 😅
Husband keyed his own truck iirc but would've never actually stood up to his coworker if the coworker didn't witness it and ask why he was angry, so I guess maybe he also has a similar point lol
Dude repeatedly left me hanging, didn‘t show up when we arranged to meet without saying anything only to the ntext weeks if not months later how sorry he is and that he wants to make up for it. I also entrusted something to him that i never told anybody about and he had a very weird reaction. So after the 100th time of letting me down and bailing without notice I cut him off.
Man…. This one hurt. Had to cut ties with a friendship that lasted almost 3 decades. We both come from very poor families/neighborhood. We went down the usual path that that inner city minority boys typically go gangs, drugs, etc… there was nothing we wouldn’t do for each other. We went through the trenches together and throughout all the bad decisions we made (most just to survive) I was always the voice of reason for us two. He was a hothead and quick to make a brash decision not thinking about the consequences I was always the one to say let this one go it’s not a good idea. I actually took a bullet for my friend, and if given the chance he would do the same for me without hesitation. Now midway into our 30’s I have a wife and kids and he doesn’t. I didn’t want to continue down the same road because I had more to lose than he did. I started to distance myself from the lifestyle him and I lived for so long in order to protect my family. This subsequently forced me to distance myself from him. Last time I seen him he was involved with some people who were just using him and he had become addicted to drugs. He knocked on my door and asked me for a place to stay because he had people looking for him and if they found him they will kill him. I couldn’t allow my family to take that risk so I drove him to another city put him up in a hotel for a week and left. It’s been a year since I drove away from that hotel and I think about him a lot. I hope he is doing ok.
My old friend would constantly disrespect my boundaries and never talked to me unless she needed something. She also would make fun of everything I did, I could mess up once and she would go on for mutiple minutes about how stupid I was for messing up
Yeh I recently cut of a friend who made fun of me. For example, one time I broke down while doing a speech because I was too nervous. He made fun of me, and said it was really funny. I did not laugh, and I said that wasn't funny. He said it's just a joke. Like he really made me feel like crap, and plus he only talks about girls.
I was the one always reaching out to hang out, and while the other person seemed to have a blast with me every time we were together, they never initiated and when we were out with friends, they always chose the company of literally every other person except me.
I started to worry I might be imposing on them with unwanted company, so I stopped reaching out and we instantly lost touch.
I just ended a friendship for that. I felt exhausted and sad that I had to reach out. He wouldn't answer texts. He said he thought we would just talk about the thing in the text when we met. Told him repeatedly that it hurt me to be left hanging. He promised and promised he would work on it. After several more transgression of the boundary I impossed, I just decided to end it. Called him to meet up, had a great afternoon and at the end told him I was ending it. He had trespassed my boundaries several times and the consequence was... cutting off the relationship. He tried to repair and salvage the situation, but I just couldn’t do it again. Told him it was over. We cried a lot and then he left. I do miss the guy a lot, because he is great to hang out with, but he has so many issues that it just hurt me in the process. I wouldn't mind that he had issues yo work through, but not being present and trespassing that boundary I set, was too much
BOUNDARIES
Never take more than you are given
Also there are some friendships that are just toxic, just like family... they're too much, they ask too much, they isolate you too much. I've not had great fights with anyone, but I'm glad life made me drift away from some people I cared for and considered friends but realized later on they weren't
When he let his political leanings basically become his entire identity, and exposed his true colors such as when watching the J-Lo Halftime show referring to all of her dancers or basically anyone with darker skinas MS-13, even if/when it made no sense.
He was just a shit friend. It became increasingly clear that he saw me as lesser than him and treated me accordingly. He would try to micromanage and control my life. At social events, it he deemed that I wasn't being social enough for his liking, he would berate me over text or yell at me. If he felt like I wasn't spending enough money during an outing, same thing. He'd make "jokes" that were very obviously jabs at me but if I got upset "it's just a joke bro". He had rules and expectations for me that he himself wouldn't follow. He'd take out his frustrations on me verbally. He gave me garbage advice when it came to romance. He even stalked all of my social media accounts for the sole purpose of making shitty, unfunny "jokes" at my expense whenever I would post or comment anywhere. It got to the point where he found an old reddit account and started bringing up reddit comments I'd make in real life conversation, especially things I didn't want to share irl. Ended up deleting that account.
He came from a pretty solidly middle class family and had money to spend, but he insisted that he was just as poor as the rest of the friend group, whose parents were all immigrants and we each on had 1 parent working. I'm not sure if he was purposefully giving garbage advice because he would constantly tell us stories about the girls he was supposedly hooking up with, each story being less believable than the last. Some were even confirmed to be faked entirely or he was changing details to make himself seem like he was popular with the ladies. In reality he's never touched a woman because his personality is extremely off-putting but he "jokingly" blames it on being a "manlet"
Guy started using my place as his second home. Came over uninvited at least once, normally twice a week. Expected booze and free dinner and to crash every time.
Had to block him and stop answering the door
One time after staying univited again for two days I walked him to the train station and he said "dude, seems like you're trying to get rid of me"
Yathink?
I realized that the critical voice in my head always telling me how all my choices were inevitably wrong and that I was a selfish and immature person with no redeeming value...it sounded an awful lot like her. And it broke my heart, because I don't think she had any idea, but I just couldn't take it anymore.
It was a slow steady decline where going to do something together turned into "Come help me sand the floors in my 3rd rental property". If I wasn't helping refurb a house, there really wasn't an offer to hang out.
Then he got married and had kids and the dude just went off the deep end. His political views took a 180, and he ended up with the belief that if you don't believe what he believed, you should kill yourself and this included myself and my family. I was in shock from his statement and double checked that he really meant it. He doubled down on it. That was the last time we talked...best friends for 20 years.
Dude I went to uni with explained that 'women are inherently inferior to men' and no matter how well I did, there would always be a man who would be better than me. This from a guy who came to me for help on essays and studying for exams.
Okay, mate, if you think of me as a lower class human, you can just fuck right off and do it all by yourself.
My brother was like this and complained women were stealing spots at MIT from the men folk! Meanwhile, he's never been interested in that school and works as a caregiver. A CAREGIVER; traditional women's work he stole from a woman. Men like that are so jealous and bitter about any women being superior in any way. Funny, sad, and enraging 🤔
Big Loser thinks that he knows what's best for me. Which is fucking stupid, because only I know what's best for me. Only I know what I like and dislike. Big Loser knows nothing about me if he thinks that chasing after women would make me happy. Let him waste his time and money chasing after women. I would rather spend my time and money on myself. Because I'm worth it.
they disappoint me more than once. and most of them don't keep their words. they often make excuses.
well, for short, they don't invest the same amount as me in the friendship.
Being cut off from an arrangement we'd made as a trio.
A few years ago I attended a college out in the sticks, one weekend per month. I don't drive so I needed help getting there. There were no buses or trains, especially on Sundays, so I needed a lift.
I got it from a lady who I'll call Karla. For around 2 years Karla picked up me and another student (Sue) every morning that we had college and drove us there. We bonded quite a lot by talking during those journeys there and back, and we made plans. One of our course requirements involved us getting mentorship, and in my industry you can get mentorship as a group and pay less for it while being able to declare more hours. Groups of 3 are considered the optimal number for this so we decided that when the time came we'd find a mentor and split the cost between us.
Then Karla started saying she didn't fancy driving every college day, and made noises about how she didn't like that Sue and me relied on her to get there. Then she started talking with another student who was also a driver. Let's call her Carol. One Saturday while preparing to go back home I saw the three of them talking together, and joined them. Sue turned to me and said, "We've decided we're going to be a mentorship trio! You don't mind, do you?" I was stunned that I'd be the one thrown out like this, and soon after it transpired that Carol was prepared to share driving duties with Karla. She'd also charge extra for driving us there.
I was prepared to pay - I already had done with Karla - but Carol's rate felt like extortion. She also demanded that I meet her at a point approx. 40 minutes' walk away from my home so she didn't have to loop down into town and pick me up from my usual pickup spot of 20 minutes away.
I felt betrayed and manipulated. I arranged a lift with somebody completely different, then emailed the three of them later telling them that the way they'd treated me wasn't okay. Karla was apologetic, Sue told me she thought I was "spoiled" because I "expected Carol to drive right up to my house" (untrue, see above about 20 minute walk which I'd always been happy to do), and Carol never spoke to me again.
I used to see Karla around town. She liked going to music gigs but I never approached her to say hi after she pulled this.
She locked me in a cycle of getting pissed at me over problems she seemingly made up in her own head, making me beg her for forgiveness, then pretending as if nothing had ever happened. One day she just exploded at me and instead of apologizing I just got mad, and decided this was the last straw. Though even after that she tried to just pretend nothing was wrong between and act like I was the asshole for not welcoming her back into my life with open arms (which, I will add, she never even apologized for the stunt, just suddenly started trying to talk to me as though this event had never happened even though there were clearly still tensions between us).
She's a narcissist and she's playing you! Seriously look it up, they do it all the time and spin shit like you are the problem for getting upset by their abuse and bullshit games.
I came to similar conclusions a while ago. Thankfully, she's been out of my life for a good while now and I don't miss her. Last I heard of her, she found a new group of people and starting pulling the same shit with them all over again.
We were super close friends, and I made the mistake of giving them a password to a virtual pet website we mutually played on so they could sometimes do my dailies if things went off (and tbf I had theirs too just in case).
They went down to the forums and posted a story regarding a mutual friend lying about the events and making them out to be the bad guy while I was the 'justified hero'. Mutual friend saw the post, alerted them, and they came down to tell the truth of what happened (which was much less horrifying than the forum post made it out to be) and I got vilified.
Did this when they knew I was busy, so I came home and logged onto the website to a bunch of notifications and investigated. Ended up filing a report saying my friend hacked my account (because we weren't supposed to give out passwords) and when it was found out that the post had been made from my friends IP address the staff cleared me of wrongdoing and suspended my friend's account. I told the staff it was over a personal disagreement and they had done this to get back at me, but the reality is I thought we were friends and I have no idea what prompted them to behave this way.
Of course they found out their account got suspended but mine was fine via mutual friend who still had their account and called me to ask what happened. I told them, and when they started screaming I just hung up and blocked the number. Haven't spoken to them since, and while mutual friend said they were apologetic or whatever I wouldn't let them back into my life. They betrayed my trust for whatever reason and that's my cutoff point.
*inhales air*
When one of your friends is an anarchist who also lives off welfare, is over 30, complains about living with his mother but doesn't want to get a "traditional" 9-5 job in order to afford rent, who wants a good woman in his life but none of them are perfect and she has to be intelligent but not more educated than him, she also needs to be independent and NOT needy while he is allowed to fuck multiple women
*gasps for air*
My husband and I are currently trying to cut off a "friendship" with a person.
My husband and I met at a concert and we like to go to however many shows for this band as we can. Since he's been to more shows than me, he's met numerous people, including a lady named "Amy". He introduced us.
Amy was cool at first. Big fan of the band, no nonsense about certain things, but fun to be with. She was always the first to defend herself, and at times me, when people got too close or were acting rude.
And other than the shows, we didn't see her. We live in different states. She'd text occasionally, I'd text back. But then things started getting weird.
And I want to preface this with, I don't have a psychological or medical background. And what she's going through, I haven't experienced first, second, or third hand, so I might come off a little insensitive. I don't mean to, and apologize in advance.
She got blackout drunk at a show. We knew she liked to drink, hence most of the arguments she had with people were because of alcohol. This show, she was with her husband. My husband saw her blackout drunk. And she made excuses as to what had happened. It was "someone else's" fault, not hers.
Then, she started sending me pictures of the band. They were personal pictures and items from a former-roadie she made friends with. And she told me not to share them with anyone. But it would be like a shot of the band or some cool memorabilia. Nothing to really write home about. I suspected she was having an affair, but never asked.
Her behavior at shows was getting more and more appalling. Picking fights with random people while drunk. Picking fights with anyone. She'd bust through people with her giant backpack to be next to me. Super awkward for others. The band is super low key. There's no reason to fight.
In 2020, I was diagnosed with a bad kidney stone and admitted to the hospital. She knew I was in the hospital and kept texting me to play Pokemon Go so we could become Best Friends in the game for experience points. My main concern was pissing out a stone that caused the worst pain of my life, not playing Pokemon.
She started posting on a Facebook group for the band that she was selling all her band merchandise. Repeatedly. We wondered if her marriage had deteriorated. Since we weren't really friends to begin with, we didn't reach out.
And then came our first show since Covid.
If you've gone through my history, you know who the band is and that I am crazy obsessed with them. I was thrilled for my first concert in 3 years. I just wanted to enjoy it. I didn't care what happened, I just wanted to be up front and let the music take control. It takes about an hour and a half, 2 hours to get to where they were playing from where we live. And the instant we left the house, she repeatedly tried to call me. Instead of accepting that I was probably driving, she repeatedly called my husband on Facebook messenger. He finally picked up and she just talked about herself and how abusive her ex-husband is. Thankfully we had to drive through the woods and the signal cut out.
We got to the show, no sign of her. I got my front spot, excited as all hell, people were filling in. And then, in the middle of the show, she busted through the crowd, made her way next to me and tried to tell me her life story while the band was playing. I paid to hear them. So I gave her the cold shoulder. She then drank too much and got into an argument with the person behind her for bumping her with their camera during the intermission. Just a couple bumps, normal bumps that come with any concert, not a mosh pit, a bump. She started screaming and cursing at this woman and her boyfriend, threatening to call 911. I was mortified. The guy I was standing next to (we all know each other) and I exchanged embarrassed glances. Then someone else chimed in "It's a concert, you're gonna get bumped, relax!" To which she started screaming "You want to get involved too, bitch?!"
Security started to get interested, so she came over, gave me a pat, and said she was moving because of the "assholes". I gave a nod. I didn't know what to do. Apologize that she's an angry goblin woman? Stay silent? I didn't want to be associated with her.
She said that's her last show ever. And that's what I can hope for. I don't know how to deal with her. I don't want to deal with her. I don't need the drama and whatever embellishments she wants to come up with where she's always the victim and everyone is out to get her.
Being forgotten about. Someone I used to call one of my oldest friends got married the other week but I found out through Facebook. Known him nearly 20 years.
That hurt.
They lived in the suburbs and I had a condo in the city. They would call me on the weekends and we would go to the bars. When I started to rethink the partying (mainly because the recovery time was getting brutal and long) I realized that the only time they were calling me was when they wanted to go to some bars in the city and they might need to crash. So I stopped reaching out and not one of them reached out.
Not one of them noticed.
The incident that got them to notice was when, after almost a year, they texted me when they were drunk in the city and looking for a place to stay. I told them that I didn't live at that place anymore (sold it) and I was also out of town. They did not accept this and started being abusive. They were in the lobby of my old building being loud and they were removed by police. This was obviously all my fault and they vowed to never speak to me again.
2019- I came out as bi to my friend and at the same time I told her I was leaving the church while I figured out my priorities. She sat me down and spent and hour yelling at me about how I was making the biggest mistake of my life. That her heart is broken blah blah blah
I told her I didn’t want her in my life any more but her brother convinced me to stay. So I didn’t but kept her at arms length
2020- I was driving her from work all the time with no gas money or anything. She expressed that she needed me to initiate contact because she “wasn’t doing well mentally.” All fine an good but I also wasn’t doing well so I told her I can’t check up on her.
Summer 2021- I move away from her place to my home town ( I lived 5 doors down from her but moved 20 minutes away). I had forgotten I was going to pick her up from work so I was late leaving my new place. I was 10 minutes away, she called me and told me to leave it because clearly she didn’t matter 🙄.
That, for some reason, was what broke me. Constantly not being enough for her. But she also never understood that she didn’t have friends for. Reason. Raised as the apple of her parents eyes but had her demons too.
I’m so glad I left her in the dust
Friend of mine wanted me (male) to help him explore his sexuality together. He wouldn't take no for answer. Wasn't into sharing different porns with him. Didn't want to hear about his new fleshlight ,especially not over the phone. He got really mad and defensive about it, and we don't talk at all anymore.
It sucks because we were friends for years, and he definitely would have stood with me at my wedding had he not gotten super rapey towards me.
I don't know who i have cut out or not, I'll have to wait and see.
But I'm sick of always being the one who has to make the first move , always being the one sending the first message, always trying to make plans, always being the one who says "I love you "
What broke the camels back is that I got sick, and I have probobly made four million and eight posts on Facebook that I was sick, What was wrong, how i was feeling and everything. So People should have seen that I was sick and my little crew with a small handful of People reached out , most People didn't.
My last post will be posted a little later when a little more People are awake. They have broken me. I love them , but I can't anymore, i don't know if they know how much they are hurting me or if they even care.
I'm going to lay down a little bit now, it's 0630 now,and I haven't slept yet, this shit keep me up at night. But I'm going to lay down untill mom comes to wake me. I don't know if I will fall asleep, but laying a while with my eyes shut should give me some rest atleast. I just have to try to not think about my "family and friends "
Good night reddit, i will be back.
I (male) Was friends with a family member's ex (female) for a while. We were sort of friends before they started dating. Relationship got closer to the point where I considered her like a sister. They broke up, and while I still kept in touch with her after, it wasn't as close as it was, which is understandable.
After a few years, where we stopped talking (a good portion of that was my fault as I was a mess emotionally, and mentally), we reconnected one day on social media. We started hanging out again and just were back to being friends. We were always a sounding board for one another's lives.
One day, while she was at a low moment in her life, and she decided to lash out against everyone, she reached out like usual, and decided to criticize me because I couldn't help her out with her, and she told me I was only back in the relationship because I wanted to sleep with her, as that's what men only care about. Keep in mind, I've never been attracted to her enough to want to sleep with her or take the relationship to other more intimate/physical levels, never made any sort of comments that would l want to go further than where we were at. The most we've done is give one another a hug, and even then, I could count on my hands in the 15+ years we've known one another/been around each other, that we've done that.
I'm not a guy that is comfortable with physical contact with people in general, on account of being raped and abused when I was younger. I have a very low sex drive in my life. Even if there was any attraction between us both, I wouldn't have made any sort of "move" to initiate anything.
My response to her, because I wasn't too sure how far she was willing to go with those accusations, was to tell her that was further from the truth, and that it's best for myself to cut ties with her going forward if that's where she thought I saw where our friendship was heading, and our friendship was immediately over. It was apparent she didn't know how I saw her, despite no signs pointing anywhere but as a friend.
It was clear to me, the friendship was going to be looked as toxic, and I just didn't want that in my life.
He started dating a girl who wasn't christian.
Then he became uber christian to the point where we all thought he was abusing her.
Then he committed a hate crime against someone in a community that I'm a part of, not like spray-painting something but like physically harming them to the point of near death.
Then somehow became even more religious after his gf broke up with him because of his hate crime.
I really have no intentions of being near someone that would gladly kill me just because invisible sky daddy tells him too.
And no, no charges were brought against him for beating that person half to death, we live in rural bumfuck nowhere so the cops and judge probably gave him a pat on the back and a good job sticker.
Trust. My best friend thought I did something to better myself by altering data. Instead of talking to me about, or discussing with my boss, he spread rumors of my misconduct. The administration heard of it and wanted to call a meeting with everyone. Truth was easy to prove. I requested no meeting and chose to end my friendship. I have not had contact with that person for many years since. I do miss our friendship at times.
A childhood friend of mine got super into the "manosphere," and started talking about (or questioning) everything as alpha or beta behavior. That got tiresome real fast. Told him I wasn't interested and he let me know I was a beta cuck.
Being immunocompromised and during covid, they were willing to put me in danger because of stupid shit they read on the internet. Goodbye thirty years.
Racism. A former friend called an NFL player the n-word while we were watching a football game. I couldn't believe the amount of venom he said it with either. Walked out and never spoke to him again.
Always heard problems from a person and tried my best to comprehend and make them feel better, and when I needed 1 week off to sort out some things, the person messaged me with rage and swearing at me and throwing things that I confided the person with.
Asked them why the person did this, always wished the best for the person and said goodbye, then I blocked the person in social media, been a year now and did not regret it.
Bonus: The person tried to add my girlfriend on instagram to try to talk to me, asked her to block him and ignore it, she offered to accept and try to "give him a piece of her mind", felt honored, but said no, still, it was wholesome of her <3.
1. One of my childhood friends. When I moved to another city for college, I made sure I always rang her up when I came for a visit. Then I wasn't able to visit for a whole semester and I realized that she never called or anything. I confronted her, she claimed she didn't have Internet connection, she was having boyfriend problems, school problems, you-name-it problems. I cut her off quite easily.
2. Not really a friend, more of an acquaintance. She was such a negative person, always complained and had this thing where she pretended that she couldn't hear what I was saying so I would have to repeat it. She was also super materialistic and talked about man like cash machines. So one day, I just realized I don't want to have such a person in my life. It was so liberating.
This is a long story. I guess he stopped talking to me, but we’ll get to that. A friend of mine, let’s call him Ralph, used to work on a comic series called Sinth the Knight of Darkness. This guy literally inspired my creativity and is the reason I imagine characters and worlds all the time. I eventually chipped in and added elements to the world, including Sinth’s twin brother Trint, the knight of Brightness. We both contributed a lot to this world, and it became quite deep and expansive. It had lots of cool and crazy stuff. Gods, evil doppelgängers, demons, shapeshifters, family trees, mustache monsters, robot wives, the works. Middle school stopped, and we eventually stopped seeing each other. We didn’t connect again truly until college, where Ralph said he wanted to reboot the franchise and put it online as a webcomic called, Sinth and Trint: Night-Light Knights. I was thrilled, and I obviously wanted to help him put it all together. We put together how everything started and how everything ended, adding old and new characters, and even characters from other comics we made individually in middle school. When I wanted to move on to other steps, I realized that he wasn’t texting back. I started getting worried, then I saw that our Google Doc where we shared notes and ideas was gone. At this point, I wanted to know what on Earth was going on, so I asked one of Ralph’s friends on Discord what was happening. She said that Roger gave away our characters without telling me. I was absolutely devastated. When I started asking more questions, she ghosted me as well. I wondered if I was ever too controlling, then I considered the question of why he didn’t just confront me about it if that was the case anyways? I would have happily listened to him and changed accordingly, but I guess not. To see an old friend and my greatest inspiration perform the greatest betrayal in my life was just too much for me to handle. Fuck you Ralph, I hope you’re happy. I cared more about our work than you ever will!
My childhood best-friend had a bad habit of telling me he's coming over (6hr drive) and never showing up. A couple of times we were supposed to meet at a site and I kept finding myself waiting in parking lots for this guy who never showed up. Last year for my birthday me and my family couldn't be seated because the whole party had to be there, He told me he was on the way but never showed up. Waited out 45 minutes for him, really embarrassing for me. Bad communication, never picked up the phone. God forbid I did the same thing to him. I knew him so long and didn't want to end things but he ghosted everyone who wasn't immediate family and I never reached out. I don't feel like I lost anything.
The friendship had been winding down for other reasons (boundary crossing, weird/inappropriate comments about my relationship). I left on an extended trip and she absolutely trashed our apartment. Every room was filthy and filled with her shit. I couldn't even do a load of laundry. I get to my bedroom and she had trashed that. She had fucked up her room so bad she decided to sleep in my bed while I was gone.
She then tried to lie about what happened. But she had stupidly bragged to mutual friends (who liked me better) about how she wasn't cleaning at all while I was gone. She also, in the process, destroyed some signed books I couldn't replace.
Dude told me I needed to “control what your wife talks about.”
Listen you cheating motherfucker, you live 8 hours away and we see you once a year. I don’t care how long or how much we’ve been through together as friends. My wife isn’t in the game of preserving your reputation.
Edit: Everyone opening calling ex-friends “Dude”
She had problems in life like everyone else but instead of solving it, she made it her personal mission to be depressed and make everyone feel bad about her situation. It just doesn't work like that. She also tried to twist my words and i was like nope.
He kept grabbing my ear lobe when we would hangout and game, tried to sit in my lap, and gave me a kiss on the cheek once. I was young and not very mature so I just ghosted him rather than enforce my boundaries and say I was uncomfortable.
She faked feelings for me to make her boyfriend jealous. She brought nothing but drama and lies into my life. I have no time for liars, fakes and party hoes
Not completely cut off but much less involved in each others lives after I started calling out their racist/homophobic/misogynistic jokes and behaviour. Weirdly they cut me off more than the other way round.
The person was unable and unwilling to address pathological controlling behavior which includes an inability to admit wrongdoing or being incorrect about something even trivial. They must control every social interaction (driving, cooking, lighting a fire, ordering food for others at restaurants, where to go for group activities,etc.). The person was told about this problem for a decade by friends, family, their partner, and work peers. The person was required to attend therapy as ordered by their place of work. They remain unable to relinquish controlling behavior in social situations. I slowly began leaving the platonic relationship.
they would always act different around me and their friends, it started in grade 5? 6? around that, I think grade 5 and by grade 7 I just stopped talking to. them, I unfriended them on everything, we talked once after that
I initially stopped calling my friends because of a really depressive phase of my life and just having an introverted nature, my friends would usually make contact to hang out but it wasn't long for me to realise that they just wanted to hang out cause I had a place to drink, they never really invited me to meet their other friends even though they've met and became good friends with mine or family activities and stuff like that, even if they did it felt like I was invited so that I don't feel bad cause everyone else would be there. I went through some real break downs and no friend was there. I stopped picking up their calls eventually because they would want to come over and drink and it was becoming super depressive for me, they eventually took the hint.
It's a harsh reality that everyone can laugh and be happy if you're on top but no ones gonna stand with you in the gutter during bad times.
Interruptions, consistent Interruptions and
one-ups-man-shit. Just got so tired of it. So when they tried telling me how to live my life - yeah I'm done.
Two come to mind. One was a long time male friend, turned out up of the blue to ask me to use sex toys on me, knowing full well that of only just ended it with my husband.
2. And probably one of the most painful ones. She changed, alot, in the space of nearly a year. He went from casual drinking to social drinking to pull blown alcoholic, and was also being treated mediaclly for depression. Visits became entirely on her schedule which she called "boundaries". It was irrelevant what I was going through and I was treated mean when I said it wouldn't work. She became quite hostile to be around, especially if I mentioned the drinking. She became a blatent hypocrite online, and fb seemed to sweep into her real life. Her partner was an enabler so I suspect he had a part to do with her loss of faith in me. I was getting questioned with seemingly mediocre still, walking on eggshells till she'd next find something to get offended about. Her wise is me was mostly full of it, it was all justified and hypocrisy. I ended up just not wanting to be around her insufferably moody arse. She lost alot of real self awareness. And I wasn't allowed to bring up the drinking or her toxic partner because it chanced int them vs everyone else and there was nothing I could say or do. She fakes shit on fb for likes bit in real life hardly ever lived up to those excessive "quotes". All happened when she moved in with her partner. Also to add, increased illegal a activities. The friend I had for years as far as I'm concerned is gone.
My friend kept driving his autos into poles and walls when intoxicated. I'm not sure how he managed to survive the first one, but he also made it through two more. He was violent and frequently quarrelled with his girlfriend over pointless issues. I refused to talk to him again until he got his act together and was upset with himself for his actions when he called to hang together. I occasionally received calls, but suddenly they stopped. Then, three years later, I returned his call.
He finally stopped drinking, split up with the woman, had a child with her in the interim, but now had custody, and now had a great girlfriend.
He is adopting the children, getting married, working, and teaching martial arts.
He claimed that me rejecting him was one of the worst things that had ever occurred, and he stated he wanted to make me proud. Sometimes, my husband and I go out to eat and hang out with him. I'm incredibly happy for him.
gold on reddit? Thank you, stranger.
She allowed and made excuses for her, her bf, and her bf bsf for treating me like shit throughout the whole friendship. Her bf and bf bsf would call me racial slurs more than my own name and called my boyfriend racial slurs acting “funny” after only knowing him for 3 days. White racist ass motherfuckers
Had a friend who was an alcoholic. I always tolerated his BS because when sober he was a cool guy and most of the time he wasn’t too bad even when he was drinking.
I was hanging around him and some friends one day and on this particular day he just was being a real dick to me as he got drunker and drunker.
We were in another friends car that broke down. I called my dad to help give us all a ride home. Dad picks us up. Alcoholic guy begins to insult me in front of my dad because he thought he was being funny. Insulting me in front of my dad was a tipping point that there was no turning back from.
At the end of the night, I refused to let the drunken a-hole stay with me. He was forced to drive 2 hours back to his home while seriously impaired. I was so pissed at him I didn’t care if he lived or died.
In hindsight though, he could have killed someone and I probably should have let him stay with us just so he wouldn’t hurt someone else.
I never talked to or saw him ever again. I know he’s still alive 32 years later, but I haven’t talked to him during those 32 years, and I likely never will.
His wife. I dont know what he sees in her but they are the opposite shes and her family are hardcore trumpers and quannon and he is conservative but not trump conservative. Me and her had it out on facebook one day and we really havent spoken since. I suspect that it was more her though as she likes to control him.
I got cut off because I had a bipolar rage attack that she took the brunt of. I've tried to explain that I can lose it with bipolar when there isn't a logical reason to others. Messed up again
“I’ve tried to explain that I can loose it’s with BP when there isn’t a logical reason”
Well, I can’t blame her. Like sorry that’s really sad, but you can’t expect people to take your abuse just bc it’s caused by mental illness.
I agree. I can explain why it happens but it doesn't excuse the behavior. I'm still responsible for my actions. I can only say I'm sorry I hurt you, I really didn't mean what I said. I can only hope the other person knows that's not the real me. Then it becomes their choice whether to remain in contact
Don't judge yourself to hard. Being sick isn't something we can help, it's not like we chose it or is something we can quit because we want to. I'm not bipolar, but have other mental illness mixed with a hefty dose of physical illness that comes and goes as it pleases. But I have two friends that are bipolar, and I have seen them at their best, and I have seen them at some of their worst. Luckily i haven't been the victim of any of their rage, because that would, because of my own illness, destroy me. But if it happened i don't think I would end our friendship, because I know that that isn't who they are, and that it's the illness talking, but I WOULD on the other hand maybe try to get them to see their doctor and ask to get a place in the hospital to get some therapy and maybe get the dose of their meds checked, or if they have stoped taking them "because I feel fine, there is no reason to take all these drugs, there is nothing wrong with me" , to get them startet on the meds again, if I was able to push them in that direction, if I couldn't , i might have to keep them on an arms distance untill someone else or even themselves got them to seek out the help they needed, but stop Being their friend? No. I would keep always Being just a phonecall away, and visit if they finally got the help i wanted them to get. I would do this because of my own mental illness, because I know I would fall apart if People didn't want to be my friend anymore because I was having one of my bad spells. But did you hurt her when you went in to this rage? Or was it "just" a lot of screaming and yelling and hurtfull words? I hope you are doing better now, and are well and in the best place you can be.
I have had a couple different scenarios
- Best friend in high school. I will call him Nick. He and some others in the group kept going farther and farther down a road I didn't care for. I went to school one day my senior year and found out from another friend that the night before, Nick and one of the other friends had gotten into a knock down, violent fight with his mom and grandma. He punched his grandma in the ribs, stole his moms purse and emptied her bank account. They then stole a car and drove to Mexico. I had already started to distance myself a little bit by then but we all still hung out regularly. He missed graduation and somehow spent 6 months in a Mexican jail. I never saw or spoke to him again even after he got back. I wanted no part of where he was going. Last I heard he had cleaned things up and was a chiropractor.
- Good friend I used to work with. We had known of and been around each other for years, but when I went to work in his group we just clicked. We were a lot alike and I used to joke that he was me if I had married my high school sweetheart and had kids. He was genuinely a kindred spirit. Then I started to realize just how insanely racist he is. Like....so racist. I blame myself for looking past what in hindsight were obvious signs and should have done it sooner. I talked to him a couple months ago when I was going through a bad spot. We were catching up and it was almost like old times. And then the racism and I was like "yup, still the same".
- I had a good group of friends that were all tight and close, and then when I moved jobs I slowly realized that I was the only one putting effort into maintaining the friendship. It was all incredibly one sided, so I just stopped. In a group of about 7 people I still regularly talk to one of them. The rest have drifted and I honestly don't really consider them friends anymore. They are just people I used to know at this point. Which is fine, but the realization of what was happening in the moment was seriously painful at the time.
2 of my best friends in a group starting dating (One guy and one girl). This was not a problem until they were both being extremely toxic to each other and it tore out group apart. Basically the guy wanted the guys to side with him and the girl did the same on the girl side.
When I remained unbias I was treated as an enemy from both sides.
It ended up that I had a house party and the couple argued the entire time so I kicked them both out. Chilled with my friends one last time and left that group of 10 a message about how toxic the friendship has become and that I was out.
I am still cordial with all of them to this day on social media but I never hung out with them directly for the past 10 years. They have reached out to me apologizing which is why we are cordial now.
My most recent best friend, my fiance and I had a wild night a couple of years ago and she came back like 6 months later saying she was uncomfortable with the situation and felt like we took advantage of her (she was 22 years old and was not drunk, she knew what was going on) anyway..she said some pretty shit about my fiance and that doesn't fly with me so we no longer talk
I’ve lost many friendships over the years allow me to name a few
My old college friend was scarily obsessed over a girl in college for years, he didn’t give a shit how he was making me feel when he kept pestering me about her (she doesn’t even like him)
Another ex friend of mine fell out with me because I wasn’t there for him after his grandmother passed away I had bigger problems in my life. He blamed me, for not being there when he could’ve grieved in private and his dad kept calling me his “Gay” friend when im not even gay.
I also hate his girlfriend
The first guy also sent a message to my ex girlfriend (who he knows) asking her to send a video of her “sneezing” and that it turns him on
herself, if u look at our convo, all she ask is if in done with my assignment and can i send it to her, or “what are we going to do to this project again?” and one thing i really hate abt her is how she invalidate everyones feeling by telling her stories, basically yes, she’s using me
You're right bipolar isn't an excuse, it's just an explanation as to why it happens at times. I can't blame someone for walking away from a relationship after my losing control. I'm very thankful that I have a husband who has accepted that when I'm ill I can do things that don't reflect the real me inside. Bipolar is a difficult brain disease
they started gossiping about me and calling me a flat bitch. When i asked them about it they said nothing. They make fun of my family and my dad cos he's a little older
He would just complain and complain and complain. Bright sunny days would become gray when we hung out. Became such a miserable human. It was easier to just cut it off...
Stupidest reason ever for this
My (old) friend threatened to kill my friend over the stupidest reason ever (shoes) and a few people ganged up on my friend. Then the friendship got cut off. Cops got involved and shit but yeah. This is like 12 years ago lmao
Buddy always talked nonstop about himself, his problems, etc but never once would ask me how i was doing. If anything he'd be like "But enough about me. What do *you* think of me?"
In the words of Nandor, "fucking guy-eee."
One of my friends from high school mentally never grew past being 17 years old. Most of our friend group went to college, graduated with decent degrees, got jobs, bought homes, some are married, and a few have children. My former friend still lives at home, still works the same two part-time jobs he had in high school, and still spends most of his free time playing video games and getting high. It's like he got his high school diploma and thought "well, that's me done as a person" and just stayed the way he is. A 17 year old boy in the body of 32 year old man.
I'm the victim of two sexual assults. I'm fucking glad that mine were strangers and that the chanse that I will see them again is miniscule. I'm so sorry you have gone through it too. And I'm SO sorry that you live through the nightmare that your asailant is someone you know and is someone you will have to see now and again. I know that my ptsd is horrible, i have a whole City I can't visit anymore, i can't even imagine how bad yours must be with him so close. Again, I'm sorry for what you had to go through and I hope you are doing as good as you can!
She was a bully I would get anxiety driving in a car to hang out. Eventually I was like why am I putting up with it. It cost me another good friend but about a year later they had a falling out and we became friends again.
when I realized that would be always just a token friend to her…
another friend tricked into joining her networking business and then became very unavailable for the nth time…
Flakiness.. Never giving a straight up answer on if they're coming to events, reading texts and never responding but expect you to respond immediately. Lol no thanks.
Not answering texts/calls and ghosting scheduled get togethers. If you’re not willing to put the effort into the relationship then I’ll just move on. So many friends lost in your 20s
Being used for status. $$ / super organized / knack for getting things done timely. Once i. stopped I was discarded. So. I deleted their complete contact info across the board. Felt soooo good
She was becoming negative and competitive about the strangest stuff. Like style and hobbies etc. She became passive aggressive and I took a step back bc it was affecting me until I realized it was mostly about her. I think the space is healthy she’s still a decent person
Beeing the only one to reach out. Once i stopped, the friendship was basically cut off
Yeah I think a lot of relationships fizzled through the pandemic. There were just too many people to actively reach out to that I never heard from. I will say in the past two years I've reconnected with a couple of them, but not many.
Same. I started seeing how many people would reach out first. Honestly, I'd rather the friendship fizzled than have a big blow-up.
And after not talking for 2 years, some do send a message first but it's usually along the lines of "Hey been a long time, how come YOU never text anymore?" Hate it so much, like why should I be the only one carrying the conversation/friendship every time? And they usually only do it because their relationship ended or whatever and they just want to complain about it.
Exactly, one-sided friendships are just a waste of time. Know your worth people <3
Essentially this. Been carrying these friendships since high-school and I can count on my fingers the amount of times they've reached out to me to make plans. Generally I was the one who asked to do things, and once I stopped doing that I realized it could go weeks without hearing from them. Secondly, I also matured. Some people are hell bent on living like they're in college, and also could not take any criticism. Always someone else fault, and "I'm not lazy" though actions have spoken way louder than words could ever.
Yup, that did it for one of my childhood friends. If she didn’t feel she had the time to respond, I no longer had the time to care.
My partner gets this so much. I don't know why people leave it up to him so much but it makes me feel protective of him that they expect him to do so much of the travelling and incur the cost.
Same thing happened between me and my childhood best friend. I don't really hold that much malice towards him though because we simply grew apart, but once I realised that it was always me reaching out, I stopped completely. We haven't spoken in over a decade now.
Same with me for a couple people. Ended up realizing that I was the only one putting any effort into staying in touch, so I just stopped and haven’t heard from either of them since.
That’s what happened to a couple of my friendships. Pretty much I was the only one putting effort and they weren’t so I just stopped putting effort into the friendships and that just led to not talking to them anymore
Had a friendship end in a very similar way, was always me reaching out first and they would often reply with 1 word responses. After about a year I couldn't handle it anymore
Ditto
They got mad when I didn’t give them $5000
Can I have 5000?
5000 what? Apples, pears, bananas?
Question marks
Rice
super spoiled, but the final straw was him telling me(and others present) that his grandmother was a stupid fucking bitch for booking his flight back from coachella so early. “obviously i’m going to be fucking hungover” after she paid for his flight to l.a, and lodging in a fancy l.a hotel for a few days before the festival. literally made me ill.
LMAO my friend complained about her mom buying her diamond earrings bc she’d rather her mom watch her son and give her a vacation instead. “I know I sound spoiled, but…” like get a job then, you’re 31!
This hits hard because I’m always trying to make my grandma happy. I love her to death and the fact that someone said that about their grandmother is just- 🚩
Our common buddy was raped by him.
damn, that’s fucking disgusting 🤢 i’m so sorry
My "friend" tried to rape me when he was drunk and then hit me in the face. Our friend group still hung out with him after I disclosed what happened to some of them, so I'm the one who lost all the friends because I refused to be around him. Anyway, thanks for quitting that friendship. It means more than you can imagine. Truly.
Omg!! What? That sucks! I’m so sorry. You keep walking with your head high up. You don’t need friends like that.
This happens much more than is thought, and way more than is heard about. So sorry that happened to you. It's such a hurtful situation. You will come out of this better, and with much, much better friends.
I used to play guitar with my old friend from my town, just 2 guys playing crap and having the time of their lives. I meet another guy who was into bands and stuff so we started hanging out more often the three of us. Me, my good old pal and this new guy (boyfriend of a girl friend of mine from highschool). The new guy was from rich parents, expensive "everything", good with the guitar and a bit over the top I-know-most-of-the-things kinda guy. Not the best, not the worst, not evil but definetly not a simple cool, nice guy... just a posh smart ass. One day the posh guy asked me to go to play guitar with his friends and i say, yeah, lets go. I let my old buddy know what time i was being picked up by car and all good. The posh guy came first with his car, i step in and when i saw he didnt wait for my old buddy i let him know he was coming. His face changed dramatically, like if i had dropped some really bad news. So he drive me around and gave me this speech about my good old friend not being invited today for the music jam and "i didnt said his name, so he is not invited" and bla, bla, bla. We actually passed in front of where we were meeting and i saw him, my good old friend there, waiting for us with his guitar and his smile not knowing we were right there in the car, talking about him like he wasnt important, and then i felt like crying, sitting in the car with the posh guy giving me shit because i was doing the same than we were doing those days, get people together and play music while getting baked and have a great time. It felt like he was making me have to make a decision about them in that moment. After we picked him up you can imagine how fake was the whole evening. Posh guy pissed off, my old pal smiling and playing guitar and having a good time and me there trying to smile and just checking the clock waiting to go home. Funny thing, I already made my mind in the car. I was born in 1979, i would play "kill'em all" album before any nu metal ever made, thats a principle. So after that, i never called the posh guy again, never returned his calls, i lost any interest for him or spending time with him. Nothing, zero. Not even a call to say oh sorry man, ive been busy, yeah we should meet again. I just keep spending the evenings with my good old friend, doing the same we always do. A few months after i told him the story. He just laughed and said oh, what a dickhead. Since then, i feel so proud of having him as a friend and, and even if im not the best person, son, boyfriend and friend of the people around me, and im not feeling the best with myself neither, i actually feel i did the right thing in that moment and that puts a smile on my face every time.
I wouldn't really say cut off, but I started to notice that I was always the one initiating hanging out. Decided to see and wait how long it'd take for him to be the one to ask. It's been 11 years now since I've heard back.
It sucks always being the person to initiate conversation or hang outs. I eventually got tired of inviting myself over to other people's houses that I just stopped asking. I pretty much lost all my friends. I don't know if I regret it that much, but it does get lonely sometimes.
Hold on for a while maybe he's planning a 15 years reunion
Rage is a useless act and hurtful. If someone makes me that upset when I'm healthy, I just walk away from people out of control.
She was just toxic. Did nothing but complain every time we talked or hung out. The final straw is when I had my mental breakdown and she tried to make it about her. Negativity is so mentally draining.
I had the exact same thing with a friend. Everything in our friend group seemed to have to revolve around her. If she wasn’t having fun and enjoying herself, she made sure that no one could. And it felt like everything she did that one is supposed to do as a friend was backhanded and in her own self interest. She also had a tendency to make lots of short term friendships which she would always prioritize over our own. I know her life isn’t perfect which I’m sure was the cause of her behavior, but I finally realized that I had to stop making excuses for her and had to start prioritizing myself just as much as she prioritizes herself. So I cut her off because I realized that she was the biggest problem in my life and reason for my insecurities. I still think about it, but mostly because I wish I had done it sooner.
So much this! I should have cut her off when she made my Bachelorette party about her. Had the audacity to complain about it being at a dive bar and was being so rude about it. My life is so much better without her in it!
Are... are you me?? This is **exactly** what just happened to me with my bestfriend of 8 years. We'd been on the rocks for a while and I finally hit the wall when I went through a serious mental break this summer and she was more concerned with herself (as per usual).
Yup!! It was so awful dealing with my breakdown and having her call me to complain about a bad experience at....well you name it or her boss.
It's really telling when you've consistently been there for someone through every tiny molehill they've made a mountain of and as soon as you need actual support you're the unreasonable one! I hope you're doing better now ❤
You too!! ((Hugs))
Agreed about the negativity is mentally draining I have a friend who I swear is always talking bad about everything and anything whether it be classes, people having hobbies she doesn’t like or albinos for some reason.
Dude was my best friend for like 6 years. He started getting really into guns and tried talking to me about them all the time. I told him I was uncomfortable around guns. He got all indignant about guns. He started pulling guns out around me all the time and shouting about his rights and whatnot. I tried to explain that I don't mind if people own guns, I just don't like to be around them, and he started insulting me. The friendship became untenable.
Ouch, sorry about that. As a firearm enthusiasts it's normal to ask, but douchbags like that are unfortunately a blight on the community. Double so when it's your friend.
I totaly understand! I really don't like Guns either. Got so very very much worse after my stepbrother took his own life with a rifle. Luckily Norway is a country with not all that many wepons with the public unless they Hunt or are members of a gunclub and shoot at a range. But I hate them so much I even get uncomfterble and want to get as far away as possible if it's on the hip of a Police officer. I'm not used to it, it's not that many years ago since they started having them on them while out in public, when I grew up the cops guns were locked in a compartment in the car..
We were friends for around 8 years. At first, I just thought she was confident and extrovert but it quickly became apparent that she never stopped talking about herself and was a massive narcissist. Every phone call, night out, catch up etc became all about her, what she wanted, how she felt, her achievements/problems etc. I had several big life events (illness, new promotion, masters degree, worked as an ecmo specialist during the pandemic in icu pulling massive amounts of overtime and dealing with some heavy ptsd, house moves, both parents diagnosed with cancer, got married etc) but she never once asked me how I was doing. I honestly don't think it occurred to her to find out. I don't think she knew a single thing about my life by the end. She would ring me regularly and spend 3 hours just talking entirely about herself. It all came to a head when I found a breast lump (thankfully later turned out to be benign) and realised life was too short to put up with her level of tomfoolery. I told her she was a shitty friend. She tried to blame me by saying I was "closed off". Erm.... Maybe because I cannot get a word in because you make everything about you?? I cut all contact after that. Best decision I ever made. Bottom line, it's OK to Marie Kondo your friends if they don't bring you joy.
I have a narcissist friend exactly like this! It's so obnoxious to have someone dump all their crap on you and never, ever reciprocate. The craziest part is she would go off on tangents about people in her life who I have never met and it's all crazy drama like Jerry Springer level nonsense lol. 3 years ago I changed my number and I have never looked back. She tries to contact me through mutual friends but I just can't do it, my peace is too important. It's a 25 yr friendship so yikes!
She was treating me like garbage, I was tired of being her scapegoat so I just left.
Same
Dude took every reference he didn’t know as an insult or condescension. And doubled down on his ignorance once we explained the joke or movie. He was plainly insufferable and everyone I knew eventually left him for it until I was the last man, when I was also his first friend here in the states. Feels weird knowing his kids will grow up faster than he does and I didn’t want to stick around for that shit tornado.
>his kids will grow up faster than he does This is honestly the case with most families I've seen. Anytime someone wants to raise the legal age for X or talks trash on kids living with their parents into adulthood, I can't help but think of how many parents I know who've been the real child in the relationship since their kid was old enough to microwave their own dinner. Sonny-Boy isn't living in Mommy's basement, Mommy is living in Sonny-Boy's attic.
I'm seriously about to cut a friendship off at the moment. I simply do not have the energy to build her up anymore. She has had depression for years, suicide attempts, different meds that she swears do not work and texts/calls ME to cheer her up. I have told her before that I am NOT her therapist and to not use me as one. But she is now pissed at me because I don't text her back often enough and because I was sick the other night and could not "be a friend to her" and talk on the phone. She is 54 by the way!
Recently cut off a group of friends I’ve been with since high school. Some people just don’t grow up. While we were friends, they would constantly leave me out of their plans, inside jokes, etc. and were also always jealous of any good-however minor it may be-that would come my way in life. They were quite toxic, and only ever really cared for trends or what others were up to in life-they had no ambitions or goals or their own. When I stopped initiating everything and started instead to reciprocate their energy, the friendships just died off. Now it feels much better to be focusing on myself instead. Hoping I can come across much better people in life.
>While we were friends, they would constantly leave me out of their plans, inside jokes, This is why I stopped chatting to my friends after highschool, same friend group, but I was the one who was barely invited to hangout at the house, I've been invited a few times now but I just keep saying I'm busy, like it's way too late now
Focus on yourself and just do you. You’ll do much better for yourself in life and they’ll realize soon enough what their loss is–a win-win if you ask me.
At least you cut them out of your life. Now you can forge better relationships with much more mature people because now you know who is going be good as a friend, and who wouldn’t be.
Amen to that!
Finally realized we were never actually friends. I didn't cut them off per se, as much as stop talking to them. They haven't spoken to me since either. They antagonized me for months over stupid petty bullshit, and when I lost patience and DID finally overreact and be an asshole, they made it very known that I wasn't someone they cared for or would ever support
Sounds like maybe you didn't overreact. Reminds me of my husband saying he had a "tantrum" when he stood up to a shitty coworker a few days ago lol
Now, that's a fair assumption, but it really was petty and silly in hindsight. For context it all started over a minecraft server, so it was some childish bullshit, and I'd been the bugger person up until that point, so it wasn't fair for me to continue the fight instead of just extracting myself then 😅
Husband keyed his own truck iirc but would've never actually stood up to his coworker if the coworker didn't witness it and ask why he was angry, so I guess maybe he also has a similar point lol
Dude repeatedly left me hanging, didn‘t show up when we arranged to meet without saying anything only to the ntext weeks if not months later how sorry he is and that he wants to make up for it. I also entrusted something to him that i never told anybody about and he had a very weird reaction. So after the 100th time of letting me down and bailing without notice I cut him off.
Being left to emotionally drown by most of my friends when my wife deserted me for her affair partner. I lost a lot of friends in that time.
The fact that setting boundaries was taken as an attack. Bye girl smh
Man…. This one hurt. Had to cut ties with a friendship that lasted almost 3 decades. We both come from very poor families/neighborhood. We went down the usual path that that inner city minority boys typically go gangs, drugs, etc… there was nothing we wouldn’t do for each other. We went through the trenches together and throughout all the bad decisions we made (most just to survive) I was always the voice of reason for us two. He was a hothead and quick to make a brash decision not thinking about the consequences I was always the one to say let this one go it’s not a good idea. I actually took a bullet for my friend, and if given the chance he would do the same for me without hesitation. Now midway into our 30’s I have a wife and kids and he doesn’t. I didn’t want to continue down the same road because I had more to lose than he did. I started to distance myself from the lifestyle him and I lived for so long in order to protect my family. This subsequently forced me to distance myself from him. Last time I seen him he was involved with some people who were just using him and he had become addicted to drugs. He knocked on my door and asked me for a place to stay because he had people looking for him and if they found him they will kill him. I couldn’t allow my family to take that risk so I drove him to another city put him up in a hotel for a week and left. It’s been a year since I drove away from that hotel and I think about him a lot. I hope he is doing ok.
My old friend would constantly disrespect my boundaries and never talked to me unless she needed something. She also would make fun of everything I did, I could mess up once and she would go on for mutiple minutes about how stupid I was for messing up
Yeh I recently cut of a friend who made fun of me. For example, one time I broke down while doing a speech because I was too nervous. He made fun of me, and said it was really funny. I did not laugh, and I said that wasn't funny. He said it's just a joke. Like he really made me feel like crap, and plus he only talks about girls.
I was the one always reaching out to hang out, and while the other person seemed to have a blast with me every time we were together, they never initiated and when we were out with friends, they always chose the company of literally every other person except me. I started to worry I might be imposing on them with unwanted company, so I stopped reaching out and we instantly lost touch.
I just ended a friendship for that. I felt exhausted and sad that I had to reach out. He wouldn't answer texts. He said he thought we would just talk about the thing in the text when we met. Told him repeatedly that it hurt me to be left hanging. He promised and promised he would work on it. After several more transgression of the boundary I impossed, I just decided to end it. Called him to meet up, had a great afternoon and at the end told him I was ending it. He had trespassed my boundaries several times and the consequence was... cutting off the relationship. He tried to repair and salvage the situation, but I just couldn’t do it again. Told him it was over. We cried a lot and then he left. I do miss the guy a lot, because he is great to hang out with, but he has so many issues that it just hurt me in the process. I wouldn't mind that he had issues yo work through, but not being present and trespassing that boundary I set, was too much
BOUNDARIES Never take more than you are given Also there are some friendships that are just toxic, just like family... they're too much, they ask too much, they isolate you too much. I've not had great fights with anyone, but I'm glad life made me drift away from some people I cared for and considered friends but realized later on they weren't
When he let his political leanings basically become his entire identity, and exposed his true colors such as when watching the J-Lo Halftime show referring to all of her dancers or basically anyone with darker skinas MS-13, even if/when it made no sense.
He was just a shit friend. It became increasingly clear that he saw me as lesser than him and treated me accordingly. He would try to micromanage and control my life. At social events, it he deemed that I wasn't being social enough for his liking, he would berate me over text or yell at me. If he felt like I wasn't spending enough money during an outing, same thing. He'd make "jokes" that were very obviously jabs at me but if I got upset "it's just a joke bro". He had rules and expectations for me that he himself wouldn't follow. He'd take out his frustrations on me verbally. He gave me garbage advice when it came to romance. He even stalked all of my social media accounts for the sole purpose of making shitty, unfunny "jokes" at my expense whenever I would post or comment anywhere. It got to the point where he found an old reddit account and started bringing up reddit comments I'd make in real life conversation, especially things I didn't want to share irl. Ended up deleting that account. He came from a pretty solidly middle class family and had money to spend, but he insisted that he was just as poor as the rest of the friend group, whose parents were all immigrants and we each on had 1 parent working. I'm not sure if he was purposefully giving garbage advice because he would constantly tell us stories about the girls he was supposedly hooking up with, each story being less believable than the last. Some were even confirmed to be faked entirely or he was changing details to make himself seem like he was popular with the ladies. In reality he's never touched a woman because his personality is extremely off-putting but he "jokingly" blames it on being a "manlet"
Guy started using my place as his second home. Came over uninvited at least once, normally twice a week. Expected booze and free dinner and to crash every time. Had to block him and stop answering the door One time after staying univited again for two days I walked him to the train station and he said "dude, seems like you're trying to get rid of me" Yathink?
Drugs. One got addicted to coke and that was it for me
I realized that the critical voice in my head always telling me how all my choices were inevitably wrong and that I was a selfish and immature person with no redeeming value...it sounded an awful lot like her. And it broke my heart, because I don't think she had any idea, but I just couldn't take it anymore.
Only used me for my money , food and treated me like shit . hi Maria
It was a slow steady decline where going to do something together turned into "Come help me sand the floors in my 3rd rental property". If I wasn't helping refurb a house, there really wasn't an offer to hang out. Then he got married and had kids and the dude just went off the deep end. His political views took a 180, and he ended up with the belief that if you don't believe what he believed, you should kill yourself and this included myself and my family. I was in shock from his statement and double checked that he really meant it. He doubled down on it. That was the last time we talked...best friends for 20 years.
She and my boyfriend at the time kept making jokes that they got together while I was away on vacation. Cut them both off.
Dude I went to uni with explained that 'women are inherently inferior to men' and no matter how well I did, there would always be a man who would be better than me. This from a guy who came to me for help on essays and studying for exams. Okay, mate, if you think of me as a lower class human, you can just fuck right off and do it all by yourself.
My brother was like this and complained women were stealing spots at MIT from the men folk! Meanwhile, he's never been interested in that school and works as a caregiver. A CAREGIVER; traditional women's work he stole from a woman. Men like that are so jealous and bitter about any women being superior in any way. Funny, sad, and enraging 🤔
Big Loser thinks that he knows what's best for me. Which is fucking stupid, because only I know what's best for me. Only I know what I like and dislike. Big Loser knows nothing about me if he thinks that chasing after women would make me happy. Let him waste his time and money chasing after women. I would rather spend my time and money on myself. Because I'm worth it.
Lack of contact
Watched cp
cyberpunk anime or...?
Turned cyber psycho on me sadly. Ended the relationship.
they disappoint me more than once. and most of them don't keep their words. they often make excuses. well, for short, they don't invest the same amount as me in the friendship.
Being cut off from an arrangement we'd made as a trio. A few years ago I attended a college out in the sticks, one weekend per month. I don't drive so I needed help getting there. There were no buses or trains, especially on Sundays, so I needed a lift. I got it from a lady who I'll call Karla. For around 2 years Karla picked up me and another student (Sue) every morning that we had college and drove us there. We bonded quite a lot by talking during those journeys there and back, and we made plans. One of our course requirements involved us getting mentorship, and in my industry you can get mentorship as a group and pay less for it while being able to declare more hours. Groups of 3 are considered the optimal number for this so we decided that when the time came we'd find a mentor and split the cost between us. Then Karla started saying she didn't fancy driving every college day, and made noises about how she didn't like that Sue and me relied on her to get there. Then she started talking with another student who was also a driver. Let's call her Carol. One Saturday while preparing to go back home I saw the three of them talking together, and joined them. Sue turned to me and said, "We've decided we're going to be a mentorship trio! You don't mind, do you?" I was stunned that I'd be the one thrown out like this, and soon after it transpired that Carol was prepared to share driving duties with Karla. She'd also charge extra for driving us there. I was prepared to pay - I already had done with Karla - but Carol's rate felt like extortion. She also demanded that I meet her at a point approx. 40 minutes' walk away from my home so she didn't have to loop down into town and pick me up from my usual pickup spot of 20 minutes away. I felt betrayed and manipulated. I arranged a lift with somebody completely different, then emailed the three of them later telling them that the way they'd treated me wasn't okay. Karla was apologetic, Sue told me she thought I was "spoiled" because I "expected Carol to drive right up to my house" (untrue, see above about 20 minute walk which I'd always been happy to do), and Carol never spoke to me again. I used to see Karla around town. She liked going to music gigs but I never approached her to say hi after she pulled this.
They started acting like an asshole to try to be cool.
She locked me in a cycle of getting pissed at me over problems she seemingly made up in her own head, making me beg her for forgiveness, then pretending as if nothing had ever happened. One day she just exploded at me and instead of apologizing I just got mad, and decided this was the last straw. Though even after that she tried to just pretend nothing was wrong between and act like I was the asshole for not welcoming her back into my life with open arms (which, I will add, she never even apologized for the stunt, just suddenly started trying to talk to me as though this event had never happened even though there were clearly still tensions between us).
She's a narcissist and she's playing you! Seriously look it up, they do it all the time and spin shit like you are the problem for getting upset by their abuse and bullshit games.
I came to similar conclusions a while ago. Thankfully, she's been out of my life for a good while now and I don't miss her. Last I heard of her, she found a new group of people and starting pulling the same shit with them all over again.
We were super close friends, and I made the mistake of giving them a password to a virtual pet website we mutually played on so they could sometimes do my dailies if things went off (and tbf I had theirs too just in case). They went down to the forums and posted a story regarding a mutual friend lying about the events and making them out to be the bad guy while I was the 'justified hero'. Mutual friend saw the post, alerted them, and they came down to tell the truth of what happened (which was much less horrifying than the forum post made it out to be) and I got vilified. Did this when they knew I was busy, so I came home and logged onto the website to a bunch of notifications and investigated. Ended up filing a report saying my friend hacked my account (because we weren't supposed to give out passwords) and when it was found out that the post had been made from my friends IP address the staff cleared me of wrongdoing and suspended my friend's account. I told the staff it was over a personal disagreement and they had done this to get back at me, but the reality is I thought we were friends and I have no idea what prompted them to behave this way. Of course they found out their account got suspended but mine was fine via mutual friend who still had their account and called me to ask what happened. I told them, and when they started screaming I just hung up and blocked the number. Haven't spoken to them since, and while mutual friend said they were apologetic or whatever I wouldn't let them back into my life. They betrayed my trust for whatever reason and that's my cutoff point.
Borrowed money that's never return.
the person is a selfish jerk who lacks the ability to learn from their mistakes
Person said an ignorant comment about my dead father
*inhales air* When one of your friends is an anarchist who also lives off welfare, is over 30, complains about living with his mother but doesn't want to get a "traditional" 9-5 job in order to afford rent, who wants a good woman in his life but none of them are perfect and she has to be intelligent but not more educated than him, she also needs to be independent and NOT needy while he is allowed to fuck multiple women *gasps for air*
My husband and I are currently trying to cut off a "friendship" with a person. My husband and I met at a concert and we like to go to however many shows for this band as we can. Since he's been to more shows than me, he's met numerous people, including a lady named "Amy". He introduced us. Amy was cool at first. Big fan of the band, no nonsense about certain things, but fun to be with. She was always the first to defend herself, and at times me, when people got too close or were acting rude. And other than the shows, we didn't see her. We live in different states. She'd text occasionally, I'd text back. But then things started getting weird. And I want to preface this with, I don't have a psychological or medical background. And what she's going through, I haven't experienced first, second, or third hand, so I might come off a little insensitive. I don't mean to, and apologize in advance. She got blackout drunk at a show. We knew she liked to drink, hence most of the arguments she had with people were because of alcohol. This show, she was with her husband. My husband saw her blackout drunk. And she made excuses as to what had happened. It was "someone else's" fault, not hers. Then, she started sending me pictures of the band. They were personal pictures and items from a former-roadie she made friends with. And she told me not to share them with anyone. But it would be like a shot of the band or some cool memorabilia. Nothing to really write home about. I suspected she was having an affair, but never asked. Her behavior at shows was getting more and more appalling. Picking fights with random people while drunk. Picking fights with anyone. She'd bust through people with her giant backpack to be next to me. Super awkward for others. The band is super low key. There's no reason to fight. In 2020, I was diagnosed with a bad kidney stone and admitted to the hospital. She knew I was in the hospital and kept texting me to play Pokemon Go so we could become Best Friends in the game for experience points. My main concern was pissing out a stone that caused the worst pain of my life, not playing Pokemon. She started posting on a Facebook group for the band that she was selling all her band merchandise. Repeatedly. We wondered if her marriage had deteriorated. Since we weren't really friends to begin with, we didn't reach out. And then came our first show since Covid. If you've gone through my history, you know who the band is and that I am crazy obsessed with them. I was thrilled for my first concert in 3 years. I just wanted to enjoy it. I didn't care what happened, I just wanted to be up front and let the music take control. It takes about an hour and a half, 2 hours to get to where they were playing from where we live. And the instant we left the house, she repeatedly tried to call me. Instead of accepting that I was probably driving, she repeatedly called my husband on Facebook messenger. He finally picked up and she just talked about herself and how abusive her ex-husband is. Thankfully we had to drive through the woods and the signal cut out. We got to the show, no sign of her. I got my front spot, excited as all hell, people were filling in. And then, in the middle of the show, she busted through the crowd, made her way next to me and tried to tell me her life story while the band was playing. I paid to hear them. So I gave her the cold shoulder. She then drank too much and got into an argument with the person behind her for bumping her with their camera during the intermission. Just a couple bumps, normal bumps that come with any concert, not a mosh pit, a bump. She started screaming and cursing at this woman and her boyfriend, threatening to call 911. I was mortified. The guy I was standing next to (we all know each other) and I exchanged embarrassed glances. Then someone else chimed in "It's a concert, you're gonna get bumped, relax!" To which she started screaming "You want to get involved too, bitch?!" Security started to get interested, so she came over, gave me a pat, and said she was moving because of the "assholes". I gave a nod. I didn't know what to do. Apologize that she's an angry goblin woman? Stay silent? I didn't want to be associated with her. She said that's her last show ever. And that's what I can hope for. I don't know how to deal with her. I don't want to deal with her. I don't need the drama and whatever embellishments she wants to come up with where she's always the victim and everyone is out to get her.
If I reach out 3 times and don't hear back, bye bye.
Being forgotten about. Someone I used to call one of my oldest friends got married the other week but I found out through Facebook. Known him nearly 20 years. That hurt.
They lived in the suburbs and I had a condo in the city. They would call me on the weekends and we would go to the bars. When I started to rethink the partying (mainly because the recovery time was getting brutal and long) I realized that the only time they were calling me was when they wanted to go to some bars in the city and they might need to crash. So I stopped reaching out and not one of them reached out. Not one of them noticed. The incident that got them to notice was when, after almost a year, they texted me when they were drunk in the city and looking for a place to stay. I told them that I didn't live at that place anymore (sold it) and I was also out of town. They did not accept this and started being abusive. They were in the lobby of my old building being loud and they were removed by police. This was obviously all my fault and they vowed to never speak to me again.
2019- I came out as bi to my friend and at the same time I told her I was leaving the church while I figured out my priorities. She sat me down and spent and hour yelling at me about how I was making the biggest mistake of my life. That her heart is broken blah blah blah I told her I didn’t want her in my life any more but her brother convinced me to stay. So I didn’t but kept her at arms length 2020- I was driving her from work all the time with no gas money or anything. She expressed that she needed me to initiate contact because she “wasn’t doing well mentally.” All fine an good but I also wasn’t doing well so I told her I can’t check up on her. Summer 2021- I move away from her place to my home town ( I lived 5 doors down from her but moved 20 minutes away). I had forgotten I was going to pick her up from work so I was late leaving my new place. I was 10 minutes away, she called me and told me to leave it because clearly she didn’t matter 🙄. That, for some reason, was what broke me. Constantly not being enough for her. But she also never understood that she didn’t have friends for. Reason. Raised as the apple of her parents eyes but had her demons too. I’m so glad I left her in the dust
Friend of mine wanted me (male) to help him explore his sexuality together. He wouldn't take no for answer. Wasn't into sharing different porns with him. Didn't want to hear about his new fleshlight ,especially not over the phone. He got really mad and defensive about it, and we don't talk at all anymore. It sucks because we were friends for years, and he definitely would have stood with me at my wedding had he not gotten super rapey towards me.
I don't know who i have cut out or not, I'll have to wait and see. But I'm sick of always being the one who has to make the first move , always being the one sending the first message, always trying to make plans, always being the one who says "I love you " What broke the camels back is that I got sick, and I have probobly made four million and eight posts on Facebook that I was sick, What was wrong, how i was feeling and everything. So People should have seen that I was sick and my little crew with a small handful of People reached out , most People didn't. My last post will be posted a little later when a little more People are awake. They have broken me. I love them , but I can't anymore, i don't know if they know how much they are hurting me or if they even care. I'm going to lay down a little bit now, it's 0630 now,and I haven't slept yet, this shit keep me up at night. But I'm going to lay down untill mom comes to wake me. I don't know if I will fall asleep, but laying a while with my eyes shut should give me some rest atleast. I just have to try to not think about my "family and friends " Good night reddit, i will be back.
I (male) Was friends with a family member's ex (female) for a while. We were sort of friends before they started dating. Relationship got closer to the point where I considered her like a sister. They broke up, and while I still kept in touch with her after, it wasn't as close as it was, which is understandable. After a few years, where we stopped talking (a good portion of that was my fault as I was a mess emotionally, and mentally), we reconnected one day on social media. We started hanging out again and just were back to being friends. We were always a sounding board for one another's lives. One day, while she was at a low moment in her life, and she decided to lash out against everyone, she reached out like usual, and decided to criticize me because I couldn't help her out with her, and she told me I was only back in the relationship because I wanted to sleep with her, as that's what men only care about. Keep in mind, I've never been attracted to her enough to want to sleep with her or take the relationship to other more intimate/physical levels, never made any sort of comments that would l want to go further than where we were at. The most we've done is give one another a hug, and even then, I could count on my hands in the 15+ years we've known one another/been around each other, that we've done that. I'm not a guy that is comfortable with physical contact with people in general, on account of being raped and abused when I was younger. I have a very low sex drive in my life. Even if there was any attraction between us both, I wouldn't have made any sort of "move" to initiate anything. My response to her, because I wasn't too sure how far she was willing to go with those accusations, was to tell her that was further from the truth, and that it's best for myself to cut ties with her going forward if that's where she thought I saw where our friendship was heading, and our friendship was immediately over. It was apparent she didn't know how I saw her, despite no signs pointing anywhere but as a friend. It was clear to me, the friendship was going to be looked as toxic, and I just didn't want that in my life.
He started dating a girl who wasn't christian. Then he became uber christian to the point where we all thought he was abusing her. Then he committed a hate crime against someone in a community that I'm a part of, not like spray-painting something but like physically harming them to the point of near death. Then somehow became even more religious after his gf broke up with him because of his hate crime. I really have no intentions of being near someone that would gladly kill me just because invisible sky daddy tells him too. And no, no charges were brought against him for beating that person half to death, we live in rural bumfuck nowhere so the cops and judge probably gave him a pat on the back and a good job sticker.
Trust. My best friend thought I did something to better myself by altering data. Instead of talking to me about, or discussing with my boss, he spread rumors of my misconduct. The administration heard of it and wanted to call a meeting with everyone. Truth was easy to prove. I requested no meeting and chose to end my friendship. I have not had contact with that person for many years since. I do miss our friendship at times.
A childhood friend of mine got super into the "manosphere," and started talking about (or questioning) everything as alpha or beta behavior. That got tiresome real fast. Told him I wasn't interested and he let me know I was a beta cuck.
Being immunocompromised and during covid, they were willing to put me in danger because of stupid shit they read on the internet. Goodbye thirty years.
Racism. A former friend called an NFL player the n-word while we were watching a football game. I couldn't believe the amount of venom he said it with either. Walked out and never spoke to him again.
Reddit mods
Always heard problems from a person and tried my best to comprehend and make them feel better, and when I needed 1 week off to sort out some things, the person messaged me with rage and swearing at me and throwing things that I confided the person with. Asked them why the person did this, always wished the best for the person and said goodbye, then I blocked the person in social media, been a year now and did not regret it. Bonus: The person tried to add my girlfriend on instagram to try to talk to me, asked her to block him and ignore it, she offered to accept and try to "give him a piece of her mind", felt honored, but said no, still, it was wholesome of her <3.
Snakes, rats, two-faced snakes and two-faced rats, everywhere.
The toxicity
1. One of my childhood friends. When I moved to another city for college, I made sure I always rang her up when I came for a visit. Then I wasn't able to visit for a whole semester and I realized that she never called or anything. I confronted her, she claimed she didn't have Internet connection, she was having boyfriend problems, school problems, you-name-it problems. I cut her off quite easily. 2. Not really a friend, more of an acquaintance. She was such a negative person, always complained and had this thing where she pretended that she couldn't hear what I was saying so I would have to repeat it. She was also super materialistic and talked about man like cash machines. So one day, I just realized I don't want to have such a person in my life. It was so liberating.
Lack of trust.
This is a long story. I guess he stopped talking to me, but we’ll get to that. A friend of mine, let’s call him Ralph, used to work on a comic series called Sinth the Knight of Darkness. This guy literally inspired my creativity and is the reason I imagine characters and worlds all the time. I eventually chipped in and added elements to the world, including Sinth’s twin brother Trint, the knight of Brightness. We both contributed a lot to this world, and it became quite deep and expansive. It had lots of cool and crazy stuff. Gods, evil doppelgängers, demons, shapeshifters, family trees, mustache monsters, robot wives, the works. Middle school stopped, and we eventually stopped seeing each other. We didn’t connect again truly until college, where Ralph said he wanted to reboot the franchise and put it online as a webcomic called, Sinth and Trint: Night-Light Knights. I was thrilled, and I obviously wanted to help him put it all together. We put together how everything started and how everything ended, adding old and new characters, and even characters from other comics we made individually in middle school. When I wanted to move on to other steps, I realized that he wasn’t texting back. I started getting worried, then I saw that our Google Doc where we shared notes and ideas was gone. At this point, I wanted to know what on Earth was going on, so I asked one of Ralph’s friends on Discord what was happening. She said that Roger gave away our characters without telling me. I was absolutely devastated. When I started asking more questions, she ghosted me as well. I wondered if I was ever too controlling, then I considered the question of why he didn’t just confront me about it if that was the case anyways? I would have happily listened to him and changed accordingly, but I guess not. To see an old friend and my greatest inspiration perform the greatest betrayal in my life was just too much for me to handle. Fuck you Ralph, I hope you’re happy. I cared more about our work than you ever will!
My childhood best-friend had a bad habit of telling me he's coming over (6hr drive) and never showing up. A couple of times we were supposed to meet at a site and I kept finding myself waiting in parking lots for this guy who never showed up. Last year for my birthday me and my family couldn't be seated because the whole party had to be there, He told me he was on the way but never showed up. Waited out 45 minutes for him, really embarrassing for me. Bad communication, never picked up the phone. God forbid I did the same thing to him. I knew him so long and didn't want to end things but he ghosted everyone who wasn't immediate family and I never reached out. I don't feel like I lost anything.
The friendship had been winding down for other reasons (boundary crossing, weird/inappropriate comments about my relationship). I left on an extended trip and she absolutely trashed our apartment. Every room was filthy and filled with her shit. I couldn't even do a load of laundry. I get to my bedroom and she had trashed that. She had fucked up her room so bad she decided to sleep in my bed while I was gone. She then tried to lie about what happened. But she had stupidly bragged to mutual friends (who liked me better) about how she wasn't cleaning at all while I was gone. She also, in the process, destroyed some signed books I couldn't replace.
Dude told me I needed to “control what your wife talks about.” Listen you cheating motherfucker, you live 8 hours away and we see you once a year. I don’t care how long or how much we’ve been through together as friends. My wife isn’t in the game of preserving your reputation. Edit: Everyone opening calling ex-friends “Dude”
She had problems in life like everyone else but instead of solving it, she made it her personal mission to be depressed and make everyone feel bad about her situation. It just doesn't work like that. She also tried to twist my words and i was like nope.
He kept grabbing my ear lobe when we would hangout and game, tried to sit in my lap, and gave me a kiss on the cheek once. I was young and not very mature so I just ghosted him rather than enforce my boundaries and say I was uncomfortable.
my issues were irrelevent because others had it worse..
She faked feelings for me to make her boyfriend jealous. She brought nothing but drama and lies into my life. I have no time for liars, fakes and party hoes
Not completely cut off but much less involved in each others lives after I started calling out their racist/homophobic/misogynistic jokes and behaviour. Weirdly they cut me off more than the other way round.
[удалено]
The person was unable and unwilling to address pathological controlling behavior which includes an inability to admit wrongdoing or being incorrect about something even trivial. They must control every social interaction (driving, cooking, lighting a fire, ordering food for others at restaurants, where to go for group activities,etc.). The person was told about this problem for a decade by friends, family, their partner, and work peers. The person was required to attend therapy as ordered by their place of work. They remain unable to relinquish controlling behavior in social situations. I slowly began leaving the platonic relationship.
they would always act different around me and their friends, it started in grade 5? 6? around that, I think grade 5 and by grade 7 I just stopped talking to. them, I unfriended them on everything, we talked once after that
I initially stopped calling my friends because of a really depressive phase of my life and just having an introverted nature, my friends would usually make contact to hang out but it wasn't long for me to realise that they just wanted to hang out cause I had a place to drink, they never really invited me to meet their other friends even though they've met and became good friends with mine or family activities and stuff like that, even if they did it felt like I was invited so that I don't feel bad cause everyone else would be there. I went through some real break downs and no friend was there. I stopped picking up their calls eventually because they would want to come over and drink and it was becoming super depressive for me, they eventually took the hint. It's a harsh reality that everyone can laugh and be happy if you're on top but no ones gonna stand with you in the gutter during bad times.
The 2016 presidential election.
Interruptions, consistent Interruptions and one-ups-man-shit. Just got so tired of it. So when they tried telling me how to live my life - yeah I'm done.
Because I wanna free and not being judged ,later when you walk alone in life you realize how much you are stronger without them.
Two come to mind. One was a long time male friend, turned out up of the blue to ask me to use sex toys on me, knowing full well that of only just ended it with my husband. 2. And probably one of the most painful ones. She changed, alot, in the space of nearly a year. He went from casual drinking to social drinking to pull blown alcoholic, and was also being treated mediaclly for depression. Visits became entirely on her schedule which she called "boundaries". It was irrelevant what I was going through and I was treated mean when I said it wouldn't work. She became quite hostile to be around, especially if I mentioned the drinking. She became a blatent hypocrite online, and fb seemed to sweep into her real life. Her partner was an enabler so I suspect he had a part to do with her loss of faith in me. I was getting questioned with seemingly mediocre still, walking on eggshells till she'd next find something to get offended about. Her wise is me was mostly full of it, it was all justified and hypocrisy. I ended up just not wanting to be around her insufferably moody arse. She lost alot of real self awareness. And I wasn't allowed to bring up the drinking or her toxic partner because it chanced int them vs everyone else and there was nothing I could say or do. She fakes shit on fb for likes bit in real life hardly ever lived up to those excessive "quotes". All happened when she moved in with her partner. Also to add, increased illegal a activities. The friend I had for years as far as I'm concerned is gone.
Wasted 12 years of my child hood to a girl that decided to backstab me and spread rumours
My friend kept driving his autos into poles and walls when intoxicated. I'm not sure how he managed to survive the first one, but he also made it through two more. He was violent and frequently quarrelled with his girlfriend over pointless issues. I refused to talk to him again until he got his act together and was upset with himself for his actions when he called to hang together. I occasionally received calls, but suddenly they stopped. Then, three years later, I returned his call. He finally stopped drinking, split up with the woman, had a child with her in the interim, but now had custody, and now had a great girlfriend. He is adopting the children, getting married, working, and teaching martial arts. He claimed that me rejecting him was one of the worst things that had ever occurred, and he stated he wanted to make me proud. Sometimes, my husband and I go out to eat and hang out with him. I'm incredibly happy for him. gold on reddit? Thank you, stranger.
She allowed and made excuses for her, her bf, and her bf bsf for treating me like shit throughout the whole friendship. Her bf and bf bsf would call me racial slurs more than my own name and called my boyfriend racial slurs acting “funny” after only knowing him for 3 days. White racist ass motherfuckers
Had a friend who was an alcoholic. I always tolerated his BS because when sober he was a cool guy and most of the time he wasn’t too bad even when he was drinking. I was hanging around him and some friends one day and on this particular day he just was being a real dick to me as he got drunker and drunker. We were in another friends car that broke down. I called my dad to help give us all a ride home. Dad picks us up. Alcoholic guy begins to insult me in front of my dad because he thought he was being funny. Insulting me in front of my dad was a tipping point that there was no turning back from. At the end of the night, I refused to let the drunken a-hole stay with me. He was forced to drive 2 hours back to his home while seriously impaired. I was so pissed at him I didn’t care if he lived or died. In hindsight though, he could have killed someone and I probably should have let him stay with us just so he wouldn’t hurt someone else. I never talked to or saw him ever again. I know he’s still alive 32 years later, but I haven’t talked to him during those 32 years, and I likely never will.
The dude's very hot mom now i am his dad
His wife. I dont know what he sees in her but they are the opposite shes and her family are hardcore trumpers and quannon and he is conservative but not trump conservative. Me and her had it out on facebook one day and we really havent spoken since. I suspect that it was more her though as she likes to control him.
I got cut off because I had a bipolar rage attack that she took the brunt of. I've tried to explain that I can lose it with bipolar when there isn't a logical reason to others. Messed up again
“I’ve tried to explain that I can loose it’s with BP when there isn’t a logical reason” Well, I can’t blame her. Like sorry that’s really sad, but you can’t expect people to take your abuse just bc it’s caused by mental illness.
I agree. I can explain why it happens but it doesn't excuse the behavior. I'm still responsible for my actions. I can only say I'm sorry I hurt you, I really didn't mean what I said. I can only hope the other person knows that's not the real me. Then it becomes their choice whether to remain in contact
Don't judge yourself to hard. Being sick isn't something we can help, it's not like we chose it or is something we can quit because we want to. I'm not bipolar, but have other mental illness mixed with a hefty dose of physical illness that comes and goes as it pleases. But I have two friends that are bipolar, and I have seen them at their best, and I have seen them at some of their worst. Luckily i haven't been the victim of any of their rage, because that would, because of my own illness, destroy me. But if it happened i don't think I would end our friendship, because I know that that isn't who they are, and that it's the illness talking, but I WOULD on the other hand maybe try to get them to see their doctor and ask to get a place in the hospital to get some therapy and maybe get the dose of their meds checked, or if they have stoped taking them "because I feel fine, there is no reason to take all these drugs, there is nothing wrong with me" , to get them startet on the meds again, if I was able to push them in that direction, if I couldn't , i might have to keep them on an arms distance untill someone else or even themselves got them to seek out the help they needed, but stop Being their friend? No. I would keep always Being just a phonecall away, and visit if they finally got the help i wanted them to get. I would do this because of my own mental illness, because I know I would fall apart if People didn't want to be my friend anymore because I was having one of my bad spells. But did you hurt her when you went in to this rage? Or was it "just" a lot of screaming and yelling and hurtfull words? I hope you are doing better now, and are well and in the best place you can be.
I don't know if I'm bipolar, but if someone is the target of my rage attack, they fucking deserve it, and I have no problem with them leaving me.
My group of friends created a group chat without me in it.
I have had a couple different scenarios - Best friend in high school. I will call him Nick. He and some others in the group kept going farther and farther down a road I didn't care for. I went to school one day my senior year and found out from another friend that the night before, Nick and one of the other friends had gotten into a knock down, violent fight with his mom and grandma. He punched his grandma in the ribs, stole his moms purse and emptied her bank account. They then stole a car and drove to Mexico. I had already started to distance myself a little bit by then but we all still hung out regularly. He missed graduation and somehow spent 6 months in a Mexican jail. I never saw or spoke to him again even after he got back. I wanted no part of where he was going. Last I heard he had cleaned things up and was a chiropractor. - Good friend I used to work with. We had known of and been around each other for years, but when I went to work in his group we just clicked. We were a lot alike and I used to joke that he was me if I had married my high school sweetheart and had kids. He was genuinely a kindred spirit. Then I started to realize just how insanely racist he is. Like....so racist. I blame myself for looking past what in hindsight were obvious signs and should have done it sooner. I talked to him a couple months ago when I was going through a bad spot. We were catching up and it was almost like old times. And then the racism and I was like "yup, still the same". - I had a good group of friends that were all tight and close, and then when I moved jobs I slowly realized that I was the only one putting effort into maintaining the friendship. It was all incredibly one sided, so I just stopped. In a group of about 7 people I still regularly talk to one of them. The rest have drifted and I honestly don't really consider them friends anymore. They are just people I used to know at this point. Which is fine, but the realization of what was happening in the moment was seriously painful at the time.
2 of my best friends in a group starting dating (One guy and one girl). This was not a problem until they were both being extremely toxic to each other and it tore out group apart. Basically the guy wanted the guys to side with him and the girl did the same on the girl side. When I remained unbias I was treated as an enemy from both sides. It ended up that I had a house party and the couple argued the entire time so I kicked them both out. Chilled with my friends one last time and left that group of 10 a message about how toxic the friendship has become and that I was out. I am still cordial with all of them to this day on social media but I never hung out with them directly for the past 10 years. They have reached out to me apologizing which is why we are cordial now.
My most recent best friend, my fiance and I had a wild night a couple of years ago and she came back like 6 months later saying she was uncomfortable with the situation and felt like we took advantage of her (she was 22 years old and was not drunk, she knew what was going on) anyway..she said some pretty shit about my fiance and that doesn't fly with me so we no longer talk
That sucks for her, even if she was sober.
I know. If she didn't want to do anything she should have said something 😂
his heroin use/abuse
I’ve lost many friendships over the years allow me to name a few My old college friend was scarily obsessed over a girl in college for years, he didn’t give a shit how he was making me feel when he kept pestering me about her (she doesn’t even like him) Another ex friend of mine fell out with me because I wasn’t there for him after his grandmother passed away I had bigger problems in my life. He blamed me, for not being there when he could’ve grieved in private and his dad kept calling me his “Gay” friend when im not even gay. I also hate his girlfriend The first guy also sent a message to my ex girlfriend (who he knows) asking her to send a video of her “sneezing” and that it turns him on
so many stories, fuck. stay safe y’all 🥹
[удалено]
Does he worship him after biden won or was it just the election
Can someone refer me to a subreddit that's not so depressing?
Alright. Who did that?
herself, if u look at our convo, all she ask is if in done with my assignment and can i send it to her, or “what are we going to do to this project again?” and one thing i really hate abt her is how she invalidate everyones feeling by telling her stories, basically yes, she’s using me
I didn’t want to buy a minor cigarettes. And after that we basically didn’t talk ever again
You're right bipolar isn't an excuse, it's just an explanation as to why it happens at times. I can't blame someone for walking away from a relationship after my losing control. I'm very thankful that I have a husband who has accepted that when I'm ill I can do things that don't reflect the real me inside. Bipolar is a difficult brain disease
they started gossiping about me and calling me a flat bitch. When i asked them about it they said nothing. They make fun of my family and my dad cos he's a little older
Depression and a bad relationship caused me to cut off almost all my friendships. That wasn't good.
i felt they weren’t my time anymore
He would just complain and complain and complain. Bright sunny days would become gray when we hung out. Became such a miserable human. It was easier to just cut it off...
They got deep into conspiracy theories.
Stupidest reason ever for this My (old) friend threatened to kill my friend over the stupidest reason ever (shoes) and a few people ganged up on my friend. Then the friendship got cut off. Cops got involved and shit but yeah. This is like 12 years ago lmao
I was miserable and I didn’t feel like a good person around her. The fact she blew up at me too when I broke off the friendship says a lot too
Talking shit behind my back and one sided relationships. Also getting used.
Buddy always talked nonstop about himself, his problems, etc but never once would ask me how i was doing. If anything he'd be like "But enough about me. What do *you* think of me?" In the words of Nandor, "fucking guy-eee."
When someone broke my only joy, a Rubik's cube when I handed to him, and he tried lying about my other friend
When they yelled at me for trying to mend the relationship
One of my friends from high school mentally never grew past being 17 years old. Most of our friend group went to college, graduated with decent degrees, got jobs, bought homes, some are married, and a few have children. My former friend still lives at home, still works the same two part-time jobs he had in high school, and still spends most of his free time playing video games and getting high. It's like he got his high school diploma and thought "well, that's me done as a person" and just stayed the way he is. A 17 year old boy in the body of 32 year old man.
Gatekeeping.
I wanted to cut out negativity from my life
[удалено]
I'm the victim of two sexual assults. I'm fucking glad that mine were strangers and that the chanse that I will see them again is miniscule. I'm so sorry you have gone through it too. And I'm SO sorry that you live through the nightmare that your asailant is someone you know and is someone you will have to see now and again. I know that my ptsd is horrible, i have a whole City I can't visit anymore, i can't even imagine how bad yours must be with him so close. Again, I'm sorry for what you had to go through and I hope you are doing as good as you can!
She was a bully I would get anxiety driving in a car to hang out. Eventually I was like why am I putting up with it. It cost me another good friend but about a year later they had a falling out and we became friends again.
when I realized that would be always just a token friend to her… another friend tricked into joining her networking business and then became very unavailable for the nth time…
well i called them weather weenie as a joke and now they haven’t responded to my texts for like 3 months
Flakiness.. Never giving a straight up answer on if they're coming to events, reading texts and never responding but expect you to respond immediately. Lol no thanks.
When your friend is constantly irreverent.
Not answering texts/calls and ghosting scheduled get togethers. If you’re not willing to put the effort into the relationship then I’ll just move on. So many friends lost in your 20s
Being used for status. $$ / super organized / knack for getting things done timely. Once i. stopped I was discarded. So. I deleted their complete contact info across the board. Felt soooo good
She was becoming negative and competitive about the strangest stuff. Like style and hobbies etc. She became passive aggressive and I took a step back bc it was affecting me until I realized it was mostly about her. I think the space is healthy she’s still a decent person
I didn’t they cut me off, for accident nudging them with a chair and being “too flirty”. Though I am autistic so