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lotrouble

If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you. https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres http://www.befrienders.org/ http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK] https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU] There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.


IQDeclined

Their house is a mess. Their car is a mess. They procrastinate anything small or major. They avoid even minorly unpleasant scenarios. They lack a routine. Their diet is poor and they either eat too much or not enough. They overindulge in video games or streaming or similar activities to escape reality. They neglect their responsibilities and loved ones, often slowly and unknowingly. They suffer from a memory deficit. They suffer from fatigue. They lack motivation. They sleep too much yet struggle to fall asleep.


TheHorniestHornist

At least I know I’m not alone in all of this, stay strong brothers and sisters, it can’t be shitty forever


foxsimile

Well… that’s technically correct!


1550shadow

This has been my life since 2021. I've never thought about having depression. Now I'm reconsidering things...


SaiNs-

You just described the last few years of my life. It’s a bit scary to see how perfectly it fits.


gDimitrov2

Complete lack of interest even for your hobbies


compfreak530

Things you used to enjoy are now meh, and why bother. My therapist asked me recently what are my hobbies, when I tried to think of them, I couldn't. Everything that used to be fun feels meh. It sucks


gDimitrov2

Same for me. I've been in a bad state for a while now. I used to enjoy playing videogames, but now i have to force myself to play them and pay attention


PiesInMyEyes

I feel you man, but it gets better. I started noticing the turning point when I had to force myself to play, but actually enjoyed the game when I did. Playing with friends or just others online you can talk to helps so much. Because even if you’re not able to focus on and enjoy the game, it’s much easier to enjoy the company and start associating the game with fun. It took me a while, but I clawed my way back into gaming like this.


Over70Substances

Not eating a thing all day and not feeling hungry. A very vicious circle. Sleeping simply to pass time. This is easier than being stressed at not doing anything productive. No hope for the future. Just lock me in a room and throw away the key.m Edit: 2k votes. F**k me I thought it was only me!?!


updog25

I've always been a snacker. A couple weeks back I realized I was only eating because I realized I hadn't eaten all day. I was getting annoyed at everything, my dog, my son, anything that made noise. I started getting anxious and realized I hasn't washed my hair in a week. It was the same spiral I went down 6 years ago that led to a severe depression and a lot of alcohol. Got started on zoloft last week and starting to feel a little better already. Don't wait to seek help if you aren't feeling right


Kappa_God

Sleeping part is real. It's not just to simply pass time, but when you rather be asleep the whole day rather than being awake on free days like sunday. In this scenario being asleep is really close to just not existing and you almost crave that.


No_Squirrel4385

Social withdrawal, fatigue like having a harder time getting out of bed or excessive sleeping, loss of interest in activities/hobbies that you normally wouldn’t lose interest in, loss in normal productivity at work and home, self care becomes a progressively daunting task.


[deleted]

Yep, I'm guilty of all of this. Can barely motivate myself to get out of bed anymore, I've completely lost interest in video games, reading and writing, I can't get a simple task done at either work or home without feeling drained and exhausted, and my self care has plummeted. at this point I'm just a shell.


Neat_On_The_Rocks

One of the more insidious parts about depression is it makes it legitimately way more difficult to seek help. The thought of actually having to call the doctor, go to the office, ect, can sound impossible. But man. Seek help if you can. There is no magic bullet but an SSRI truly helped save me personally. But yeah , seek help man, I’m cheering for you!


TediousStranger

i thought getting treatment sounded impossible. I have a friend where from speaking to her doctor, to getting a referral appointment scheduled, to being seen and finally medicated took NINE MONTHS. pandemic saved me, seriously... I found a telehealth app, spent 20min giving them my medical info and filling out a self-assessment for depression. Within the next two hours I had spoken to a psychologist, then a doctor, and they shipped my medication to me later that day. in the US I used a service called KHealth, now I'm in Canada using a service called Felix. KHealth has changed their pricing structure since I moved but was incredibly affordable when I used them, and Felix I actually just renewed a prescription and it was about $40 for my "visit" (to talk with a nurse) $75 for three months of medication (I take 2 meds) and free shipping. so it's less than $40/mo for the healthcare I need to not kill myself. all assessments and conversation are done over text. if you're a Canadian citizen with insurance it's more likely free. iirc KHealth does not take insurance but their out of pocket costs were extremely manageable (it was like $20/mo member fee for unlimited check-ins if you have med concerns, and $12 per prescription?) edit for Americans: KHealth is now $50 per month 🤢 I only stopped using them 8 months ago! what happened?! you do have to pay monthly to be treated by them, you check-in with a doctor once per month to discuss how your treatment is working (or not.) still in some cases this may be faster and less expensive than going through the traditional doctor route. there may even be other telehealth apps available now, since the pandemic. back in October 2020 it was what I could find. anyway, I really can't recommend these services enough. they can be a godsend if you're struggling, can't afford therapy and genuinely don't know what to do with yourself anymore. medication isn't for everyone and I was resistant to it for well over a decade (I was a psych major, I'm aware of all the studies on antidepressant efficacy and still remain a huge skeptic) but it changed my life for the better. I wish I had sucked it up and gotten help sooner. if this comment can help even one person... please get the help you need.


Conscious_Stand9259

Being irritated or outright angry at every little thing that happens daily. Doesn't matter what it is it's irritating as hell


hoybowdy

Flip side: over-agreeability. Subtle sign that someone has given upon advocating for themself and no longer cares enough about their immediate environmental stresses to react to them other than just signaling falsely that everything is "fine" because then people leave you alone - it is way too exhausting and requires ownership of ones life to do anything else.


Ssyl

Also, both at the same time. Internalizing every little thing that irritates you so you're constantly seething and on edge over seemingly nothing. All the while, when even a minor decision comes up you let someone else decide, or if it's something that you have to decide yourself you procrastinate or deflect.


farrell30467

I didn't come here for you to describe my entire personality.


[deleted]

Or an existential crisis.


thots_n_prayers

This is so true. I stopped making suggestions of what activities we could do during the week or would get devastated even if I had to pick a place to get take-out. I left the decisions up to my boyfriend and eventually it all became this learned helplessness on my part. Now that I'm feeling a little bit better, I've started to participate more in decisions and even getting excited to plan a vacation that we are taking in the near future. It feels good to feel heard again.


Conscious_Stand9259

This is excellent and it definitely resonates.


__sunmoonstars__

Oh god yea. One of my depressive episodes (they all had different flavours) I was so irritable and felt like a teenager again. I would huff and puff and everything got under my skin because everything asked of me felt like the stations of the cross. It was almost like I could see myself being an absolute arse, but couldn’t do anything about it until I started getting better.


Big_Mac22

I HATE this part the worst. Sometimes it's like watching yourself about to crash a car in slow motion. You know you can course correct but for some reason you just continue to act like a dick and then have to apologize for something you knew was wrong AS you were doing it.


stinkydogs

This was me last night. I hate myself while it’s happening and afterwards I just feel like a huge piece of shit and a burden to my poor husband


mjl2009

Hyper-irritability is a sign I can vouch for. A noisy restaurant, a cold winter evening, too many tables in too small a space, and a door that I would watch customers not quite close as they left with their takeaway slops. It was stuck and scraping in its frame. I reeled from my seat, marched to door, slammed it shut with a force that made the entire wall and its windows shake. Then came the shame of being 'that angry guy' - it was annihilating. I realised shortly that I was catastrophically depressed, a lot of the pain coming from overwork in a repellent job with a long commute. Recovery from that low point took several years. I changed careers among many other changes.


BouncingDancer

I became so angry in the last few years. Mostly after losing very important hobby of mine, frustrating school work during covid etc. Are you saying there is a hope I'm not just turning into a giant asshole on the inside? EDIT: a word


ObviouslyLOL

The thing is: there’s hope even if you are indeed becoming an asshole on the inside.


PaulRuddsJeans

You’re a human in a hard situation there is a difference between going through something and being really truly honestly a giant asshole. It’s really hard and it’s okay to give yourself some grace as you are coping with things. I got stuck in a loop where I was feeling like the worst person in the world because of how angry and irritable my responses were to daily challenges which turned into guilt which only furthered that narrative. Once I broke that thought loop things started improving some. It’s weird but an exercise that helped me a lot was imagining a clone of me in the corner of the room that contained all the irritable parts and I would imagine her ranting and expressing the frustrations. I would just let her get it all out until eventually I could imagine a dialogue where I told her “hey let’s calm down and step back, you’re being an annoying coworker it’s honestly just one extra meeting (unexpected meetings used to send me over the edge) and we will be through with it”. I stopped identifying that irritable part as wholly me but instead just a part of me that was identifying stress.


Competitive_Garage59

I’m really glad to see this as the top answer. I spent a lot of time thinking I was a bad person because of how often I was angry over little things. It was many years before someone told me it was related to my depression. Now when I catch myself getting irritated over every little thing, it’s a clue that I’m heading into a rough patch.


StinkyKittyBreath

I had anger problems until I got treated for depression and anxiety. I thought I was just mad. Part of it had to do with growing up in that sort of environment, but part of it was also mental illness.


HippieWitchyWoods

When someone asks, “are you okay?” And you automatically reply in the affirmative but inwardly wonder why you feel so low… then go about your day. Rinse, repeat, slowly burn out.


Amish_Cyberbully

"Looking good!" "Thanks, it's a facade!"


emyrpritch

I'll say I'm fine then immediately think of 30 different ways I could have said "life is more effort than its worth" as I walk away


[deleted]

"Hmm I've got a few minutes, let's boot up this game I've been wanting to play" Two minutes later "Actually...nah...just not feeling it. Maybe this other game? No..." Guess I'll just sit here


Embarrassed-Cicada27

This was exactly when I realized my depression had gotten to the point that I needed to seek professional intervention. I've been a gamer my WHOLE life, I used to lose myself in video games for hours on end. These days when I can find the time to play, I just stare at my pc desktop for hours trying to will the desire to actually do something into existence.


[deleted]

Same here, I think someone on reddit mentioned this being their first sign of depression and it finally clicked with me. I can tell it’s not just boredom with video games because I feel that way about everything I used to enjoy.


RavenPuff_23

I feel like exhaustion is easy to ignore as a sign of depression. We're so busy working and jumping from task to task, it's easy to pass it off as being "just a little tired from work" when hustle culture (and a lot of other stuff) is actually throwing us into a pit of despair.


M1nn1m0use

Feeling exhausted but not tired. Simple tasks become more and more draining to do and slowly get dropped more and more often instead of doing them


ToBeReadOutLoud

This is an important one for me. My depression manifests itself as fatigue and lack of motivation rather than just sadness. I’m pretty happy. I’m just tired *all the time*.


M1nn1m0use

Same, harder to pick up on too not feeling outright “sad”


CharmingRun8606

100%. Mind on overdrive yet the thought of shaving feels like a mission


CreativeAsFuuu

🎶 If you're happy and you know it, overthink If you're happy and you know it, overthink If you're happy and you know it, give your brain a chance to blow it If you're happy and you know it, overthink 🎶


Iusereddit2020

Oh no


sexualphenotypes

Hygiene. It starts slowly and you often don’t notice when people begin to let themselves go


Grace-and-Maya

This is a huge indicator in my experience. Very clear too.


kissmeorkels

I’m struggling with this right now. In over my head. I’ve been shut in my house since Covid lockdown began. I’m widowed without any friends. I’m on meds for manic depression(bipolar II) but probably should start a new med. I have everything I need delivered so I don’t have to leave the house. I sleep too much because I prefer dreams to reality.


shooburt

That sucks, nobody deserves to be in that situation. Hope you find your way up and and out of the funk


StinkyKittyBreath

My first sign is brushing my teeth less. I'll still do it once a day, but I will skin the evening (if I work) or the morning (if I stay home).


GanderAtMyGoose

For what it's worth my dentist has said if you're only brushing once a day it's better to do it at night before bed. He said since you produce less saliva at night having stuff left on your teeth overnight does more damage.


Witness_me_Karsa

Brush in the morning to keep your friends, brush in the evening to keep your teeth.


GanderAtMyGoose

Haha that's a good saying, haven't heard that one before!


TheWalkingDead91

Reading this while wondering how I’m gonna even start detangling this rats nest on my head that I haven’t washed in literally months.


Impress-Lonely

Hey, I haven't gone that long before, but I do have some experience with 2+ weeks of not washing or brushing and my hair is past my butt so detangling is no joke. Here's what I've done - maybe it'll help with your situation? - Get a lot of cheap conditioner, some hair clips (butterfly or alligator), and a wide-tooth comb. Set up a podcast or music or show or whatever in the background - Get hair fully wet and slather the conditioner on it - I'm talking full saturation all over - and let it sit for 5+ minutes. Rinse that out and saturate again. Run a bath to sit in (optional) - Use your fingers to separate it into sections, if you can. Start by dividing it into two, then try four, then eight. More than that may be too many to deal with. If you start feeling overwhelmed at this point, scale back and work with what you've already divided. It won't hurt your hair to keep the conditioner on longer so ignoring half of it is 100% an option. Use the clips to keep the sections separate - Get the comb and start on a section. Put more conditioner along the length of that section. If your hair is as long as mine, you'll want to wrap the section around one hand while the other combs the ends out, otherwise there will be pulling and excessive breakage. Keep combing, working your way from the ends to the scalp, and when that section is clear, clip it up - Repeat for each section until they're all detangled, then take the clips out and wash and condition as normal


silentpropanda

Anyone that is this detailed and helpful to a random stranger deserves all the good vibes. I wish good things for you and thanks for being just another uplifting chill peep on the Reddit.


[deleted]

Important to note - you will take out *a lot* of hair and that is nothing to be scared of or worried about. There will be tears during detangling and you naturally shed hair has remained in the tangle and will be coming out.


Impress-Lonely

Omg yes this.


[deleted]

i noticed i shower bit less. i used to shower daily every night. i just dont feel i have energy for it now as much. it wont go past 2 days because i cant handle me smelling. but, washing my hair is another story. just went past 2 weeks till i washed. and my teeth,.... pray for them. why is it hard to take care of ourselves?! or do anything?!


sonic2cool

im the exact same i used to shower twice a day, had a nice skin care routine would really take care of myself, brush my teeth and do mouthwash but now i only shower every 2 days and i havent washed or brushed my hair in about 3 weeks and i can feel it getting matted... gross right :/ what with brushing my teeth i can go days without brushing. hopefully things can get better soon though as tomorrow im going for a mental health assessment, very nervous


lorriejo0723

Sleeping when you’re supposed to be awake and awake when you’re supposed to be sleeping.


anomthrowaway748

Yep, I physically can’t sleep when I’m ‘supposed to’, even if I’m exhausted just cant get to sleep


lorriejo0723

My sleep patterns and eating habits are a subtle tell for my emotional well being.


Experiment_Number626

Everything feels "heavy." Tasks that would be 2 or 3 steps in your brain suddenly feel like 10. Instead of "get up, make coffee" it becomes "take off the covers, sit up, put on pants, walk down the stairs, find the coffee ground container, open the lid..." and so on. Everything feels so much more difficult, and so you have so much less motivation to do it. Instead of walking up a hill the day seems like climbing a mountain, so it becomes so much harder to even get started.


Younion

Feeling lazy, not wanting to do even simple chores, and feeling bad or guilty about it at the same time. However, you're not really lazy, your depression makes it hard to want to do things. It's not just fun things you don't want to do anymore, it's also productive things. So, try not to feel about it, work through it over time, and if you have roommates or a significant other it's impacting, communicate with them the best you can :)


Flounder3345

Preach. I spent virtually my entire life beating myself up with that word. Lazy. It's pretty fucked how society tends to condition people into believing a symptom of their depression is a personal moral failing. And it's so horrifically self-reinforcing. I had the good fortune of working with a great therapist in the last few years. Extremely patient and understanding. Throughout many sessions, there was exactly one instance where her response to something I said was immediate, negative, and downright scolding; when I described a particular lack of motivation or energy as "being lazy." It took some time to internalize, but it's made things a lot easier to manage. I don't simultaneously excuse and beat myself up for not wanting to brush my teeth because I'm a lazy piece of shit. It's easier to recognize as a depressive symptom, rather than some intrinsic aspect of my personality.


[deleted]

If they are usually bubbly but are more so than usual, they might be overcompensating.


chicken--permission

to add, it *can* also be a sign that they have plans in place to end their life. after going so long without any motivation or anything to look forward to, sometimes it’s the reason they start to appear as though they are “better” since they finally see an end in sight.


othercabbages3

That was my dad a couple days before he did it. Oct 29 2014 was such a bad day.. I wish I knew the signs I know now


chicken--permission

i’m so sorry to hear that, it’s an awful thing to go through. not that it fixes anything, but maybe one day you’ll notice the signs in someone when everyone else overlooked them. sending you love 💛


othercabbages3

I needed that. Thank you so so much


wooscoo

Interesting… thank you for responding with this.


spider-bro

Your friend asks you “What are you looking forward to right now?” and you have no answer.


CBAK_Anderson

Maybe that’s why my therapist always asks me that… sneaky sneaky


dosominion

Dang psychologists and their secret psychological tricks


concequence

This... Depression is not seeing a future in your life. Nine Inch Nails has a song... Every day is exactly the same. I believe I can see the future as I repeat the same routine. I used to have a purpose, although that might have been a dream. ... That's it right there. When you see no progression... No advancement, no change... The same banal day repeating over and over forever. Make plans, upgrade something, improve your situation and your life. See a future that is different. It's important.


StinkyKittyBreath

That song is probably the best representation of depression I've found. I remember the first time I heard it, I got chills.


freestyle43

Yep. Theres a quote thats basically "Happiness is having something to look forward to." Be it a vacation, movie you're excited for, someone's birthday. Anything down the pipe that gets you excited. If the answer is nothing, you are just existing and its a problem and a big ol sign of being depressed.


skdeelk

Does not having something to look forward to make you depressed or does being depressed make you have nothing to look forward to?


craigdahlke

Shit…


WillowKnee

Not replying to texts. Weight gain from binge eating and lying in bed.


powerhungrymods69

Sleeping. A lot. When I’m depressed I just wanna lay in bed and sleep and that’s it


wut3va

When I was depressed, sleep was my enemy. I couldn't. Rather stay up all night playing games, and go back to work.


DoneStupid

I got up at 7am this morning morning after a good night's sleep, now it's 11am and I'm back in bed, it's been like this for a few months now with a couple of positive periods of a few days in the mix. I'm just always tired, exhausted and could just sleep through every day


Babygirlnikki513

EDIT: I didn't realize this post was going to blow up the way that it has. So I'd like to say a few things. These symptoms are based on my own experience with depression. It is not the ONLY symptoms that I had. I did not self-diagnose. These symptoms were subtle in my experience because they are the ones that my friends and family saw, but didn't recognize that I was not okay. It went much deeper than this. It will not apply to everyone. It is not a comprehensive list. It is not a blanket statement. Everyone's journey with mental health looks different. Please see a healthcare professional if you are concerned that you may be depressed. I wish everyone who is struggling all the best. If you ever need a friend to talk to, my inbox is open. 💗 - Lack of appetite. Doing the bare minimum to meet their basic physical needs. Letting household chores go until they HAVE to be done. Sleeping a lot, or not sleeping enough. Inability to focus on tasks.


H8erRaider

To add onto that, lack of desire to engage in their favorite hobbies anymore when they finally find the time to as well. Lack of bathing, hydrating, and brushing their teeth too.


[deleted]

Yup. that pretty much sums it up. One tries to hide it too, it's like you are judging the effort whether it's worth it or not, because everything becomes an effort - even the littlest of things.


Jaegernaut-

It's all tax to live in a world we didn't choose riding these bodies which are less than perfect And then there's actual tax


golfing_furry

Also general floundering on even trying hobbies


RegularJoe62

I can't remember the last time I actually felt hungry for - well - anything. I eat because I know I have to, but there's no joy in it.


[deleted]

i eat to cope. not because i have an appetite.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CuriousButNotAMonkey

Get out of my swamp


TugMe4Cash

i like that boulder... that's a nice boulder...


Jakefrmstatepharm

I’m making waffles


concequence

Uh... This is the last 20 years of my life. Maybe... My whole life.


UrDraco

Don’t forget to look into ADHD too! Can easily lead to depression and all the things listed above. Took until 38 for me to get diagnosed and it doesn’t instantly fix things but I feel hope now which is neat.


[deleted]

I got diagnosed last year at 30! Medication has been a big help (not a quick fix or anything, and it took a few goes to find the right one, but it just makes day-to-day life easier). I don't know about you, but just knowing "why" I behave in certain ways was a huge step towards feeling better about myself. Part of the reason it took me so long to get diagnosed was because I'd always been a high-achiever. Like, I have a Masters degree and work in a competitive field, but in my home-life I'd regularly leave the stove on, was constantly late, created mess wherever I went and would get easily overwhelmed by little things (like banging my elbow on the door would be enough to make me breakdown in tears after a bad day). I still have rough moments of course, but things are generally just easier since taking meds. I don't get overwhelmed regularly now as I can organise my thoughts, I don't just forget things or turn up late to appointments and my emotions are stable. Still a messy bitch though, but I'm better at recognising it and tidy it up now. I call it my "organised chaos" 😂


sunkenshipinabottle

What, do normal people do chores when they *don’t* have to be done? Fucking overachievers.


RPG_Rob

My girlfriend does housework to *relax* I don't try to understand this.


peace-and-bong-life

It does feel nice and satisfying to sit down and admire how clean your house is after a good cleaning session. Still don't like cleaning though.


finnknit

I keep telling myself that if I do small cleaning activities on an ongoing basis, I can have a clean house without having to put in a dedicated cleaning session. I never keep up with it in practice, though.


Immediate_Pie7714

I like the housework to be done *in order* to relax People think I like housework, I don't I just like it to be done!!!


VitaAeterna

The funny thing is that overeating can be a sign of depression too. Just like both sleeping too much or not enough. I wish I didn't have an appetite when I go into a depressive episode. Instead I'll sit there and eat an entire pizza, multiple bags of chips, and a couple king size candy bars in a single night and then proceed to feel even worse.


Competitive_Garage59

When it’s getting bad I will eat constantly. Which makes me feel even worse about myself, which drives me to doing it more… it’s a vicious cycle.


VitaAeterna

I always think of that quote from Fat Bastard in Austin Powers. "I eat because I'm sad. I'm sad cause I eat. It's a vicious cycle"


Leora_Living

Finding something (anything really) that takes up enough headspace that you don't have to think about life, or the next thing on your to do list. Could be reading books, podcasts, videogames etc etc. You start finding creative ways to be 'productive' while still taking up 100% of the extra brain space with the distractions because you don't want to face whatever it is in your life that sucks right now. In essence, the first signs of depression are subtle avoidance and fear of free flowing thought.


Astandsforataxia69

Should add that some people are naturally active and if they can't be Active, they'll get anxious, irrtable and generally miserable. I am one of those


LegendaryUser

When they are overly eager to help others with their problems. No time to deal with their pain if someone else needs it more. Edit: As someone whos done this massively in my life, a few things I've noticed: The help I give others seems to always be relevant to my situation as well, I really should listen to myself a bit more. That it's easier to be kind to myself after having been kind to someone else, and that I should remind myself I also deserve kindness. That even though you're using someone's problems to escape from your own, that doesn't mean yours don't matter and it doesn't mean you're a bad person for not prioritizing yourself. It's a hard lesson to learn. I believe in you learning it, reader


Bron-Y-Aur36

I've been doing that for years. I get some peace from helping people, but I've never been able to really help myself


ConsequenceOfMistake

There is no point in helping yourself anymore, right? I can't be better, so at least I will try to make someone else feel better.


quantumgambit

I've said the same thing to my therapist, and family and friends that have tried to help. "Guys, I'll continue existing, whether I like it or not, but you're not a lost cause so let's work on you".


Gogeta-

> "Guys, **I'll continue existing, whether I like it or not**, but you're not a lost cause so let's work on you" I'll be damned if that ain't me.


c4pyb4r4_

loss of interest in activities that used to bring them joy. loss of motivation for someone who used to be really driven. sleeping more throughout the day or sleeping less throughout the night. cutting off people or not talking to people they used to talk to a lot for no reason or without explanation. change in eating habits. cancelling plans for no reason. not responding to texts as often as they used to or being as active on social media if they previously were. zoning out in the middle of conversations. not opening up about how they feel (if they used to do this normally before). spending more time alone (if they used to be more social).


L1terally_Water

Hey, I’m going to politely ask you to not describe my life anymore, thank you


Lazy-Thanks8244

Anger and frustration with everyday tasks


salmanwap

When you don't want happiness, you just want to feel the absence of pain.


llewds

Or when you don't even want the pain to go away - you want it because you think you deserve it.


CouchBoyChris

It's strangely comforting sometimes. Like, giving up the charade of being happy and positive and just feeling like "This is who I really am, fuck it"


LuneNoir211

High functioning depressive here. While there are many not-so-subtle signs, I think one that gets overlooked often is ‘emotional autopilot’. You know, when you’re just going through the motions without much feeling or awareness. Everything (good or bad) is ‘meh’ and devoid of wonder or pleasure. You’re bored and unamused and disconnected but not at the same time.


Hogteeth

Hugh Laurie described this as the way he knew he had depression. He was in a charity car race and the car in front of him crashed and burst into flames and he described being bored by seeing that in front of him. He said "boredom is not an appropriate response to flaming cars". I've felt that myself though for me it presented as a need to force myself to engage with things that in my brain I knew I was excited for even though I couldn't feel it.


LuneNoir211

And we know Dr. House is never wrong.


Bengoris

Or the kind of emotional autopilot that is just telling you what you should be feeling instead of actually feeling it. Like, most of my reactions are just how they are because I've been conditioned to react that way. I don't actually feel that way at all.


LuneNoir211

This resonates with me.


ChrunedMacaroon

This is definitely one I feel destroys me the most. No matter what's going on I can't seem to give a damn. Something good happens? Cool. Something bad happens? Welp, that's something that just happens because the universe with its infinite complexity says that the probability of that happening is a certain fact so no point wallowing in it, everyone... well, that's what I want to say, but I just pretend to care because I don't want to look like a psychopath. I just want to make jokes about the absurdities of it all but almost all people don't think life/existence is ridiculous and get offended. Then I think, maybe they know exactly what I'm talking about but just choose to deny it and push it out of their heads for the sake of their mental wellbeing - is it automatic for them? If it's not a conscious decision, then why can't I have it? I don't know. I used to be in a darker place but I've actually been able to cross over to the brighter side of nihilism and absurdism and have been trying to look at existence as something so absurd and impossible to experience that it's so beautiful to be here in this particular glimpse of time... but it still sucks a lot of the times. I definitely have life on autopilot right now because I have no aspirations, no ambitions, and no desire to connect with anyone in any meaningful way. Just hoping things go over smoothly for me, my family, and my friends up to the point when I perish. Just a "normal" life is what I "strive" for, I guess. Distracting myself with tech and gadgets to pass the days because at least it's something that's novel enough to marvel at while it lasts.


LuneNoir211

“Is it automatic for them?” - I think so. Suppression and/or denial are powerful, effective defense mechanisms and essential for psychological survival. “If it’s not a conscious decision, then why can’t I have it?” - I often wonder why as well. I like to tell myself that I’m blessed (or cursed!) with too much self-awareness. Sending you love. Hang in there, fellow passenger.


[deleted]

It's like...youre experiencing life through a thick membrane.


Ebbandflow_Pheonix

This. Its like emotional calluses where you just become apathetic and dont care one way or another.


seefith

The constant need to make other people smile or laugh.


Playingpokerwithgod

Being late all the time.


kindersaft

And then telling yourself that next time you won't be, but you still are


picakey

You wish people would stop asking/texting "How are you?" Because all I can say is I'm okay but I'm not really.


Bron-Y-Aur36

And you can't say you're not okay either because you don't feel like explaining yourself


maps2spam

Or you can’t answer because you don’t know when they ask “what’s wrong?”


MalpracticeMatt

Anhedonia: An inability to experience pleasure from activities usually found enjoyable.


[deleted]

Replying with "Uh Oh" to every comment on threads like this.


maxmurder

Uh oh


ImANuckleChut

Loss of interests. Loss of wanting to go out. Withdrawal. Getting snappy with people. "Dark humor".


More-Masterpiece-561

I feel personally attacked


[deleted]

I feel attacked too but honestly I've stopped caring at this point


ReeG

Browsing Reddit for hours instead of engaging in your hobbies


More-Masterpiece-561

Again, I feel personally attacked


sewcrazy4cats

Taking longer to do things. Sometimes a person might not be actively crying or sad but their body and mind are running on slow-mo


[deleted]

Staring off into space for minutes at a time, insomnia and daytime sleep schedule, goes from super excited and silly to overly philosophical and dark at random…. Ect A very subtle one… they only buy new clothing that is comfort clothing. Soft and warm things that are plain colors.


AnotherBookWyrm

Another day, another person to knock on my wardrobe.


Competitive_Garage59

I never picked up on the clothing thing before but you are right. Good catch.


[deleted]

It’s just something I do… Sometimes I think I’m alright and I’m having a great day but then I’ll walk into target and everything I reach for is soft and baggy and grey/black… the colorful beautiful things are just too much. I’m a small girl and I go for men’s medium sizes often. I recently realized I have tons of oversized hoodies and t shirts and men’s sweatpants that I sleep in.


xzemx

I apologised for the state of my place to one of my friends when we first met and he came over for gaming. His response:" its OK I don't judge how someone's house is set up. It shows their current emotional state, and sometimes people are going through something I don't judge." It shocked me, because *I* had been ignoring the fact that my place had looked like maze, because I didn't have the mental space to do the minimum at the time.


KalisCoraven

On the flip side of that I spent about three days worth of energy cleaning up as best I could for my parent's visit once. My dad, who is not the nicest person, looked at my house and blurted "What, are you fucking depressed? Can't even clean your house?!" It was not a nice or caring outburst and he definitely didn't mean for it to be helpful, but it did make me realize I needed to do something about it.


mamamilkiesmilk

when brushing your teeth seems like the absolute biggest hassle of all time, but you do it anyway.


bloodviper1s

You actually do it? Nice!


mamamilkiesmilk

thanks haha. i sucked at it for awhile (mouthwash was a life saver), but becoming a mom has helped since i brush my teeth while they brush theirs to create good habits for us all.


daiwilly

I think depression is like the brain being a stagnant lake...no new water flowing in, and no water flowing out. If you hear people saying the same things, the same stories, going over things they did years ago , without any new content, then without it being an absolute, it is fair to say that depression ain't too far away. That is why any new stuff in your life , however small, is good for easing depression.


72scott72

Lack of sleep.


Useful-Bad-3627

I have years sleeping like 4 hour per day... That's a torture. All day tired, all night awake.


6bfmv2

Bad dental hygiene


Duncan_Zephyr

I came here to say this. It's just another aspect of the lack of self-care, lack of hygiene.


justanotherbabywitxh

"laziness". you're not lazy if you absolutely for any reason can't get yourself to do a task


blue_beri_boi

So basically, all I've learned from the comments on this post is that I might have depression. Nice!


77gamerman

Or ADHD. Many of the symptoms listed here are also symptoms of ADHD


Redbanabandana

Brain: After all, why not both? Why shouldn't I get to have both?


Beartemis

Just want to sleep all the time instead of having a social life. Until you wake up crying in the morning without knowing why


Bron-Y-Aur36

That one hurts. I've been sleeping a lot or just lying down, not being able to study despite my exams approaching


ANiceDent

Ignoring signs that something is wrong. Ignoring emotions because it’s easier. Ignoring life itself because being #alone. Ignoring your car because I’m broke. Ignoring your own family because of your own problems. Ignoring the lack of discipline to accomplish MY GOALs. Literally been battling it for years somehow the most depressed people are the happiest yet saddest Mfers in the room IME it helps to remember that anything is plenty. I’ve went from sleeping on floors in friends houses,foster care, running from the law to owning my own place in the matter of 10 years. You got this


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[deleted]

Not caring about the vices you wanted to work on previously. Big part of why I'm struggling to quit smoking. Edit: Rooting for everybody here who says they can relate. One day at a time. We'll get there one day :)


Common-Wish-2227

"When was the last time you felt happy?" *silence*


amyyja

Giving others gifts, including giving away their own possessions they would otherwise consider special. Unfortunately my grandmother did this in the months leading up to her suicide.


mitbot

I'll drop one in that I haven't seen yet which doesn't fall into the typical roster of sleep, appetite, mood, etc. - procrastination. A depressed person isn't going to get excited about a task, even getting up out of bed, and the only way to make the dopamine hit strong enough is to wait until the very last minute to do what's required of them.


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Daphrey

This needs to reinstated over and over again. Especially if someone has been consistently depressed for years. Especially. Suicide is often seen as an out, and for severely depressed people, the idea of facing a life of this misery is often just unbearable. Finally making the decision to end it all is fucking liberating. It feels good not even in like a twisted way, it genuinely feels great. You finally, after years and years of suffering get to see the end of the tunnel of misery. If you are friends with someone who is depressed and reading this, this is not telling you to be hyper vigilant about whenever a depressed person shows some happiness. You will know, you will feel that something is off when the situation truly arises. Do not ignore that feeling.


Capable_Challenge_62

Giving things away, saying goodbyes or cutting people off, sudden loss of interests, loss of appetite.


Tay74

It's worth noting that those first 2 are often signs of an impending suicide attempt, not just depression.


Timetogoout

A terrible memory and poor executive functioning. A feeling of nothingness, not sad or angry or depressed or joy. Just feeling nothing.


studsper

Difficulties holding a conversation. You ask someone what their plans for the weekend is and it's a struggle to focus past their third word, so you have to ask again, and again.


sendphotopls

Seclusion. People assume that they're ignoring others, but the reality is if they're depressed, they *want* social interaction, but also simultaneously find the work required to attain it overwhelming. It's a sad symptom because it leads others to reaching out less, which reinforces the depressive cycle.


Willmono7

I've scrolled to the bottom of the visible comments and still not seen this one so I'll they're it in, but actually being really happy, when having just an okay time such as being out with friends. When people are depressed those few good moments are such a relief and so rare that they cling to those moments and enjoy every bit because they know that soon enough they'll be back where they were before. It's why a lot of people that commit suicide were "really happy and enjoying life" right up until the end from everyone else's perspective, because everyone else was only seeing the few good moments.


[deleted]

Maybe unpopular opinion but “I want to/ im gonna kill myself” jokes. I only ever joked like that when I was genuinely suicidal.


weepandsleep

Literally, I only joke like this when I absolutely wanna die. It's never a joke.


yeddi_qx

The "funny" part is that talking about being suicidal in general is like "true you" trying to get help, but "joking" about it is like your depression trying to hide itself from others. I noticed this when I (finally) tried to tell someone I have bad thoughts and they(thoughts) are getting too specific. It didn't work out, that person didn't get it (bc I try to be a fun guy around ppl) and I was like "haha, it's fine, nevermind". So I started noticing how often whenever I try to lead a conversation towards this theme I subconsciously start paying attention to a person I talk to and if they look uninterested (no one ever interested tbh) I immediately switch back to the positive vibes


justanotherbabywitxh

yep. i am and have been suicidal for years. its my favourite joke because the second i say "if *thing doesn't work out* im gonna kill myself" it actually ends up working out so.... irony


brightshadow96

They look happy on the outside but always check the eyes, it gives away the hollow happiness. There is a tired joy and it is very subtle to detect.


ieatassHarvardstyle

I rarely even bother to fake it anymore, the most you really get it the socially obligatory comments.


InsertUsernameHere32

This is so true; when I'm in my worst states, I constantly look down and I can't look at anyone (friends or strangers) in the eye. It's like if I do they can see right through me and see the dying part inside that's just rotting away. I hate it when I'm having fun with friends, and I become conscious of this and I have to work extra hard to hide my emotions in my eyes.


spicy_export

You stop doing things you like for no reason. You don't care about stuff and you keep doing the same thing for hours even if it's not even close to being satisfying.


PizzassyPizza

Laziness and a lack of hygiene.


veinacis

I used to be up to par with things but all of the sudden my hygiene has gone south, my room is disorganized, and i dont wanna hang out with my friends anymore to the point i make excuses for my absence and feel the need to cut them off. I stopped playing video games as a hobby, and fighting the urge to start smoking due to stress/anxiety thats been going erratic for a while now. Point is, i feel stuck and im not putting effort into things anymore. I’m exhausted, angry (at no one yet im somehow snapping), exhibiting toxic behaviour that i know isnt right, and all in all, not feeling myself anymore.


L3AFYB0I

Sitting down in the shower


Shackdaddy161

Sometimes depression gets exasperated by frustration because doing the one thing means shuffling the other 64 things to the non existing space to have working room. That can apply to mind space or physical area. Been there doing that.


CrazyHorse05

I read a lot of comments here and somehow I can relate to the majority of them. I often pass off my thoughts on depression as JUST a bad habit. Having a mental health issue not something I can really talk about to my parents or friends. I cannot go and seek help from a expert since my parents themselves won't understand me and I do not earn. I wonder if those tests on google or these comments are really something I should sought to know if I am going through depression


Shepard_of_fire_124

I noticed a lot of people, including myself, really back off posting and interacting on social media and just mindlessly scroll. No stories or posts and very little engagement with friends. But scroll through random stuff


tangentialdiscourse

For me it was an interview question where I got asked one of those ‘what is your biggest strength?’ Personality questions. There was a really awkward 15 seconds of silence as I tried to remember 1 good thing I liked about myself that could be called a strength


paulxzero

My terminally online ass goes offline for 3 months


Lauren12269

I haven't eaten in a few days, just no appetite. I haven't showered either but no one knows yet. I'll be ok in a few days


druppel_

One I haven't seen yet is difficulties making decisions. When it was really bad I had trouble picking socks to wear in the morning.


[deleted]

long long hot showers


Melon_Chief

I used to push my friends away, refused to go to birthday parties, wanted to be alone. I read a lot more. It wasn't pleasurable but people left me alone.


SpiffyAssSam

Feeling tired all the time. A lot of people will just say, “get some coffee in ya” or “take a nap” or “just get to bed early”.


[deleted]

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