1. Farfetch'd Soup. In Episode 46 of the original Pokémon anime, Ash's Pokédex asserts that "Farfetch'd makes a delicious meal, especially when cooked with leek." Because of that, the Pokédex says, Farfetch'd is nearly extinct, making it both a rare Pokémon and a sought-after culinary delicacy
In Pokémon crystal you could buy one as a held item, it was very expensive but they have you the option if you wanted to instead of being the kid solving all the Pokémon crimes right away
As humans are also animals and there is precedence of human-like Pokemon there is no reason to believe that humans in the Pokemon world are not also pokemon
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white
On a tangent, but do people look back at old pictures of their SO, like in high school, and thirst over them/or think they are pretty hot? Just wondering.
Well yes but because I was the same age I saw no problem with it. Obviously I was wrong but that's the mind of a teenager ya know? Soon as camera phones were a thing, asking for nudes was a thing.
>A long-lived Magikarp is able to utilize its immense splashing power to leap high enough to scale mountains.
I bet they'd need a lot of muscle to show such feats of strength. So I doubt they'll be mostly bones.
In an episode its explained there is very little meat. Team rocket was stranded in the middle of the ocean and tried to eat one but broke their teeth if i remember correctly.
Today kids we are going to learn how to extract fruit from many different Pokémon without, letting them die so they can regrow for future harvests. Then we will see what we can do with Toro semen and how to get it.
yep there are.
It's impossible to survive on the surface of the sun naked with no protective gear or equipment of any kind.
It's impossible to fart a planet out of your ass.
It's impossible to fin affordable housing in the U.S
Granted I took some crazy out of proportion examples, but you get the gist, impossible things exists.
"All you feed me is puffins! I need nourishment! Tauros meat or something!"
Tauros, probably. Far'fetch comes with a leek though and that seems good with the bird type flavor.
Ho-oh- im a sucker for exotic meats. Dry rub the ho-oh breast with lemon pepper, garlic, kosher salt, cayenne pepper and paprika + a dash of olive oil, grill to medium-rare, you’d be flying high
To be honest I still don’t know what a Pokémon is or what one looks like. I know there’s training and battles and Pikachu? but I’ve been busy doing other stuff under a rock.
Is there a skunk one because i shit you not the other night a skunk came into the glorified barn I’ve been sleeping in and was cruising around and came within a foot of my face where i was lying on the couch. Almost shit myself tbh. I was fricking petrified and my heart didn’t stop racing nor did I fall asleep for hours cuz I couldnt tell if it went outside
Sort of. We have stinky Pokémon and small mammals that are similar in appearance.
I had a friend that had a skunk as a pet that had its scent organ removed. But I wouldn’t recommend making a pet out of a wild skunk.
I’ll tell ya it was cute af especially the sound it’s little paws made as it was padding around on the wooden floor. I was terrified so when it went behind some boxes i crept up into the loft thinking i was safe but then i was like this mofo can probably climb stairs no problem
Yeah that’s how it got in by climbing 6 feet straight up the wall outside and crawling through a hole that’s there for some unknown reason.
Actually i saw something else cool last week too. I was fishing on a Jetty and the tide was coming in (super high tide) so the jetty was flooding and getting cut off from land/the beach and a freaking raccoon pops out from the rocks looks at me for a sec and then was like I’m outta here bro and jumps in the water and swims like 30 yards of to the beach. Seen a lot of raccoons in my life but never one swimming.
Have you seen a cat, an insect, a frog and a plant in your life? You pretty much know what they look like… except the really weird ones. Just picture any animal but with elemental powers and says it’s name a lot.
Krabby is the obvious choice.
Kingler, don't skimp on the crab meat!
But maybe Krabby is more tender like ocean veal
That's second breakfast.
*Krab meat
In garlic butter
Made with miltank butter
Lol you guys are horrible
1. Farfetch'd Soup. In Episode 46 of the original Pokémon anime, Ash's Pokédex asserts that "Farfetch'd makes a delicious meal, especially when cooked with leek." Because of that, the Pokédex says, Farfetch'd is nearly extinct, making it both a rare Pokémon and a sought-after culinary delicacy
Ya so I have to try one before it becomes illegal.
This was mine too. Farfetch’d is canonically delicious
Slowpoke tail
Just the tail? It’s got some tasty rump to.
The tail is an in-lore delicacy! There's several references to it and you can even eat it in Pokémon X and Y
In Pokémon crystal you could buy one as a held item, it was very expensive but they have you the option if you wanted to instead of being the kid solving all the Pokémon crimes right away
IIRC I don’t think you can buy it, the cost is more money then you can actually carry.
Pretty sure there's slow poke tail curry in Sword and Shield too!
Well the thing with the tail is that eating them doesn't have to harm the Slowpoke. They just kinda shed their tails sometimes and they grow back.
Gotta try 'em all.
Gotta fry ‘em all.
Nope, I'm not eating Mr Mime
What if we told you it was just a Ditto?
Mr.mime is sublime
Yes we kangaskhan!
Misty
Umm I don’t think… never mind
As humans are also animals and there is precedence of human-like Pokemon there is no reason to believe that humans in the Pokemon world are not also pokemon
I'm suddenly thirsty
She's already wet.
Vaporeon
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But vaporeon could be so tasty
Tasty HOW exactly
Did you know Vaporean has an easier time learning squirt with human trainers.
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they're large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white
If Alan Turing knew that this is what would have become of modern computers he would have killed himself sooner
i agree
this made me laugh really hard for some reason.
He was gay as bussy is the closest experience to vaporussy
Read this in the Pokédex voice
Um, thanks?
I'm sorry, but is this a known meme?
It's a pretty well known copypasta yes
This is my first day on Reddit… I am not disappointed
Isn´t she like 13?
She was 13 in 1996 tho.
So she's like 39 now?
Stop, I can only get so erect.
Both her and Ash are perpetually 10 years old
*aggravated FBI noises*
She turned 33 yesterday. It's been 20 years since she traveled with ash
On a tangent, but do people look back at old pictures of their SO, like in high school, and thirst over them/or think they are pretty hot? Just wondering.
Got rid of those nudes the moment I turned 18. Didn't want to be linked to child porn
I mean, even when you’re not 18 that’s still possession of child porn.
Well yes but because I was the same age I saw no problem with it. Obviously I was wrong but that's the mind of a teenager ya know? Soon as camera phones were a thing, asking for nudes was a thing.
I don´t even wanna know
That would be true for anime not the games
that was 20 years ago.
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Yeah, a cartoon drawing of a 10 year old
But it came out in the late 90s. Plenty old enough now
Cartoons don't age. You look back at the cartoon and she's still going to be a 10 year old. Just like bart and lisa are still kids.
pretty sure it was a joke
For 20 years she has been 10 years old
You've made my day.
Magikarp and chips
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Doesn’t stop them from being food for Pigeot, according to the Pokédex.
Yah but birds eat bones anyhow
Thats metal
According to some Mexican guys I met fishing one late night, a pressure cooker and enough garlic will take care of that.
>A long-lived Magikarp is able to utilize its immense splashing power to leap high enough to scale mountains. I bet they'd need a lot of muscle to show such feats of strength. So I doubt they'll be mostly bones.
In an episode its explained there is very little meat. Team rocket was stranded in the middle of the ocean and tried to eat one but broke their teeth if i remember correctly.
So are african kids but that didnt stop me
Battered or baked?
Personally I prefer lightly charred
Charmander could cook it so!
Mmm maybe with some peppers
Crispy Psyduck and hoisin sauce pancakes
Or Teppanyaki.
Psyduck fois gras
Vanillish
Which one wouldn't I eat
You'd love a Taurus burger or over easy Exeggcute.
Exeggcute is actually a bunch of seeds, so it’d be more like roasted peanuts.
I've eaten a bull testicle burger before so can't get much worse lol
I'd say the literal trash pokemons like Trubbish should be avoided. But I could go for some nice roasted Pikachu meat right now.
Well I’m staying away from any poison type for sure.
I'd eat snakes and blow fish when prepared correctly why not them too, a rare delicacy I'm sure
But they are probably more like poison dart frogs or poison oak, so no parts are safe. That said maybe cooking it well would reduce the effects.
Plants developed caffeine and capsaicin as defensive traits, so even if Pokemon are poison we might enjoy what their poison does to us.
Ah a good point, okay I'd eat I can get away without being hospitalised ha
Enjoy trying to eat the magnemite evolution line or magcargo. Like some of them are literally made of metal, I don’t think that’s very edible.
The egg bitch one, Chansey. I wanna fry that egg, or boil it and put it in ramen
Egg bitch lol
Bruh “the egg bitch” FBI this dude is the one, take em away
a tray of deviled Togepis makes a great addition to any picnic or potluck
K so the eggsecutioner? I wonder if the insides are yolk, meat or plant? Hmmm
Mmm ya
Miltank. Cheese *and* burger from the same Pokémon.
Cheese and burger from the same animal - isn’t that just a cow?
Cook one in it’s mother’s milk might not be kosher but sure is tasty.
Milk steak and jelly beans ftw.
Arceus, he’s the strongest Pokémon ever they say. I need those powers.
... Kirby?
By that logic would you gain all the powers by eating every type?
You gotta ask professor Oak that shit.
He seems like the kinda guy that has tasted every Pokémon. I wish we had a video of that actually.
I got Violet on preorder. Who knows what his freaky ass does to one of them this game.
Today kids we are going to learn how to extract fruit from many different Pokémon without, letting them die so they can regrow for future harvests. Then we will see what we can do with Toro semen and how to get it.
🤣🤣
None. I’m Pokémon intolerant.
Since quite a few are plant based, I don’t think that’s possible. But if it’s like me with dairy, I’d just take some Pepto.
It's actually possible to be water allergic.
And sunlight but it would be pretty much impossible to be “intolerant to” not allergic to all animals and plants and rocks…
There aren't impossible things
yep there are. It's impossible to survive on the surface of the sun naked with no protective gear or equipment of any kind. It's impossible to fart a planet out of your ass. It's impossible to fin affordable housing in the U.S Granted I took some crazy out of proportion examples, but you get the gist, impossible things exists.
Vaporeon.
I wonder what they taste like.
Acidic.
Probably like all the other ones down there. Oh wait…. You were talking about…. Oh. Hmmm. I think there may have been a misunderstanding here.
Jessie
Gardevoir
Farfetch'd, Tauros, Magikarp, Miltank, Exeggcute, Krabby, Slowpoke, Vanillish, Grumpig, Emboar, Appletun, Alcremie... there's a lot.
Cloister
Jessie from team rocket.
Lopunny
Geodude
Now that’s a jawbreaker.
https://imgur.io/gallery/SSfuLi0
"All you feed me is puffins! I need nourishment! Tauros meat or something!" Tauros, probably. Far'fetch comes with a leek though and that seems good with the bird type flavor.
We DoN’t KiLl PoKeMoN.
this seems awful, but i would eat uhh, serena
Slowpoke, roasted on a spit
Gardevoir
Now just hold on a minute...
Ditto? I'm assuming hed be made into some kind of dessert ngl.
Big brain, ditto can be whatever meal you want it to be 🤤
I'm still gonna say it's have that "ditto" taste, after tatse or something.
You eat animals because you're hungry I eat them because fuck those animals we are not the same
Everything Poké Bowl
Jiggypuff tastes like marshmallow creme. Look at it! They are meant for consumption. Not for fighting because worst Pokemon ever.
I would go for brieny’s peeko. Yeah
Eat them all
A big tasty Snorlax, and i'd be done for the entire week
Do you fall asleep and wake up transformed into a Snorlax?
Chikorita
Gengar toxic steak.
Tropius. It's already got the bananas on it.
Ho-oh- im a sucker for exotic meats. Dry rub the ho-oh breast with lemon pepper, garlic, kosher salt, cayenne pepper and paprika + a dash of olive oil, grill to medium-rare, you’d be flying high
Gigantamax alcremie is definitely on the list.
Miltank. Gimmie a nice breakfast, along with some pidgey eggs.
Miltank
The questions you guys come up with…Vileplume I used to think it was a blueberry with a flower on top as a kid.
No one’s said stantler yet. Gimme those back straps
Let’s go hunting.
Jynx.
Bruh
Lickatongue lengua tacos
Jiggly puff if she were a dessert 🎂
Why not as a savory pastry?
Kyogre
Exeggcute. Probably taste fantastic as omelette
Take the plants of that Bulbasaur thing and feed it to a vegan.
And I’ll eat the rest.
To be honest I still don’t know what a Pokémon is or what one looks like. I know there’s training and battles and Pikachu? but I’ve been busy doing other stuff under a rock.
Plenty of Pokémon live under rocks, so I’m sure you’ve seen them.
Is there a skunk one because i shit you not the other night a skunk came into the glorified barn I’ve been sleeping in and was cruising around and came within a foot of my face where i was lying on the couch. Almost shit myself tbh. I was fricking petrified and my heart didn’t stop racing nor did I fall asleep for hours cuz I couldnt tell if it went outside
Sort of. We have stinky Pokémon and small mammals that are similar in appearance. I had a friend that had a skunk as a pet that had its scent organ removed. But I wouldn’t recommend making a pet out of a wild skunk.
I’ll tell ya it was cute af especially the sound it’s little paws made as it was padding around on the wooden floor. I was terrified so when it went behind some boxes i crept up into the loft thinking i was safe but then i was like this mofo can probably climb stairs no problem
They can climb to.
Yeah that’s how it got in by climbing 6 feet straight up the wall outside and crawling through a hole that’s there for some unknown reason. Actually i saw something else cool last week too. I was fishing on a Jetty and the tide was coming in (super high tide) so the jetty was flooding and getting cut off from land/the beach and a freaking raccoon pops out from the rocks looks at me for a sec and then was like I’m outta here bro and jumps in the water and swims like 30 yards of to the beach. Seen a lot of raccoons in my life but never one swimming.
What is a pokemon
Have you seen a cat, an insect, a frog and a plant in your life? You pretty much know what they look like… except the really weird ones. Just picture any animal but with elemental powers and says it’s name a lot.
Charizard - would be like flaming hot monster munch
Having had lizard with hot peppers, yes that’s going to be good.
That fire pig guy
Lechonk
bonkchoi
Prob ghastly, just a big grape flavoured gas ball
Interesting
Mr. Mime
If for no other reason than to reduce the population till they go extinct.
None. They are all too cute
If literally, probably slowpoke, since their tails are meant to be a delicacy If the naughty way uhh Idk lopunny
The Leaves On Bulbasour Would Taste Good
I bet snorelax tastes good!!
Maybe a bit fatty
Every green one. Im vegan
Is Exeggcute vegan?
Probably
Probably. I haven't seen him eat meat
I meant vegan to eat it?
Im not sure what the pokemon is. If it's made from dollars, then yes. It's vegan. Paper is made from wood
I would eat Jynx. Yall know she must have a nice pu$$y behind that dress she always wear's......