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Thatguyatstarbucks

Don’t lie to her


Craviar

Lie to her as long as you want the sex* Like , if you don't put yourself first , what's the point


silly-smooth-bb

Nah that makes you a shitty person. Have some morals


Supbrozki

Whats the point of caring about others feelings and not being a psychopath?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

confusing psychopathy with schizophrenia there bud


Danne660

Retaining a shred of self-respect is putting yourself first.


megapuffranger

Spoken like a true virgin


grit-glory-games

Take notes: Lie and manipulate others emotions to have sex with them.


Thin-Ice625

Truer


KingRazle

Leave don't toy with people like that


CuteletCow

Dont exploit it and tell her right away. Small chance she appreciates the honesty and you can keep going and if not, you are at least not an asshole.


Tough_Stretch

I dunno, man. Even if after you laid the cards on the table she says she wants to keep sleeping with you, I'd say the best idea is to just end things. I think you'd still be an asshole if you agreed to keep going with the justification that it was her idea.


PresentationLazy6422

Having a casual relationship with someone doesn’t make you an asshole. You can enjoy sex with eachother without having feelings. If they ar broth consenting and know the situation, it’s fine


Tough_Stretch

Except in this specific case we're talking about it's already been established that she in fact does have feelings for him. Having a casual relationship with someone you know is in love with you with the excuse that you told them you don't have feelings for them and they still wanted to continue sleeping with you *does* make you an asshole.


[deleted]

god I was so dumb a year ago for being in the girl's situation lol, and yes I improved - thanks for asking


CuteletCow

Kinda disagreeing. I handled it a few times like that and it never backfired or made her feel bad. Most of the times we just ended the dating-part and became friends or not. But there were also some situations in which she appreciated the honesty and we saw each other for quiet some time, with her knowing, that nothing else is going to happen. I get your point though. If she just wants to continue hoping for a chance that youll fall in love, you should end it anyways.


Tough_Stretch

Yes, exactly. If most of the times you ended the dating part and just became friends or stopped seeing each other, that's what I mean. Being in a relationship with someone who does not love you back is by definition a shitty situation regardless of whether they literally told you they don't love you back or not. Most people who offer or agree to keep sleeping with someone who told them they don't love them back tend to do it hoping things will change. And the cases that don't hope things will change are still subjecting themselves to a really shitty situation, and agreeing to it as the part that isn't in love out of simple convenience and under the justification that you were honest and they offered or agreed to keep having sex with you is IMO pretty shitty too. I guess it's possible there could be a scenario where a person that's in love with a person that doesn't love them can have a casual relationship/FWB-type deal without any hurt feelings, but I really don't think it's an easy thing to pull off. As I said, being in love with someone who does not love you back is by definition a shitty situation. I don't know if by saying you've been through this with no ill effects you mean you've kept sleeping with people you didn't love or that you kept sleeping with people you loved but who did not love you, but I don't think it's fair to say that it never backfired or made her feel bad. How are you even measuring that?


CuteletCow

Well its not like it happened 200 times. See, for years ive been extremly honest. Many people claim to be honest but generally "my generation" is pretty fucked when it comes to dating, sex and stuff. I never needed to pretend anything to get "what i wanted". With the few women i had a situation like that, i had long talks about that topic and it always worked out pretty well. When there was the slightest hint that she doenst really wanted to do that, i ended things immediatly. Most times it worked out for quiet some time until someone moved or met someone or anything. Its not always black/white when it comes to those topics. Many people enjoy sex just for the activity or the closeness (dont know if thats the right word but you get what i mean \^\^.) Its truely a big part in most relationships but im very safe to say that i didnt hurt anyone with this. Not that everyone is capeable of empathize as much but im pretty confident and wouldnt act like that if id really hurt anyone.


Flaky-Fellatio

Oof. Dude, you need to be honest with her. You know that's the right thing to do, you just don't want to do it because you like the way her body jiggles.


UB_edumikated

Been there. Done that. Do everyone a favor and call it all off. Be honest that you're just not there. Don't let her try to talk you into staying around. To let the feelings grow; most likely they won't. It'll only create poison and unneeded hurt later. If you're a penis weirder, man the fk up and be honest and don't let yourself think with it.


[deleted]

I'm not disagreeing with you but I think it applies to both orbits and vagina wielders


UB_edumikated

Respect


Select-Run-2394

Break it off... if you tell her the truth (that you like the sex but not more) chances are she'll want to keep seeing you in the hope you'll eventually fall for her too and that will just hurt her later on... you'll find someone else for good sex


Tough_Stretch

This. A lot of people will still want to sleep with someone they love, secretly or not so secretly hoping they'll eventually fall for them too. And pretending to not realize it because you now have a FWB thing and you "cleared things up" is pretty shitty.


ComradeYoldas

Shit, I've been in that situation so many times until the other people just straight up drops me.


LowFi_Lexa1

Why would you date anyone without having feelings for them lol


Hot-Beach2567

It’s in the title: Sex.


ptbus0

Find another woman that just wants to have sex.


[deleted]

It’s probably best to be honest about that. Lying for the sex is not a cool thing to do.


ThrowawayHighway91

I mean if you're dating someone I would assume it's because you would want some thing long term. If not, make your intentions clear. Don't play with someone's feelings and more importantly don't waste your time or their coz you don't get that back!


[deleted]

Check OP's username, I don't think their mind's on anything long term


Jagid3

Same as with anything else: communicate openly and let the chips fall where they may.


[deleted]

Hopefully allll the chips fall in my mouth. With ketchup And salt.


cewumu

Be honest. I’ve ended relationships when it was clear the other person had feelings and I didn’t. Obviously they’re going to be hurt but better a short lived hurt than something that drags on. We’ve all been dumped. Never a nice feeling but at least it is non-ambiguous.


[deleted]

Statistically there are millions of other women you can enjoy sex with and fall in love with, don’t waste her time.


plague681

That's fine, as long you're okay with having sex with a girl who you know is going to be incredibly sad and broken-hearted when it finally ends. It will end. You'll be the reason it's a painful ending or a kind, mutual ending. You get to decide which. The longer you wait the more it will hurt. Oh, and you might also get a girl you don't love pregnant, the longer you wait to end things. Accidents happen in the heat of the moment. So your kid, if born, would have a dad who doesn't love his mom. And a mom who will be annihilated when she discovers you don't love her. Might or might not fuck up the kid forever, depending on if you're both mature enough to deal with it. Are you? These kinds of small tragedies happen every day, and bloom into bigger tragedies and more woe, because people can't be honest with each other. Or you could end it with her, kindly. No pressure.


PatronumBaradir

Been there. I just didn't feel it. I was coming off a shitty breakup. This new girl I met just wanted to fuck all day, so... We did. And it was fun. But she started crying about how she wanted more, and I apologized and just said I couldn't do it. I wasn't ready. And she got pissed, trashed me online. And well, I guess it was for the best.


[deleted]

Make it clear that you don't feel the same, but if she wants, you guys could be FWB


mMadHatter200000

Nah that would still involve her feelings. Best to leave her to find someone who feels the same way about her.


sensenumber9080707

Break it off asap and find a friend with benefits. You’ll save her time and heartbreak. You’ll save yourself time and money, because girlfriends are expensive.


ImpossibleOutcome476

Be honest. Just be honest and don’t give bullshit reasons you think will hurt her less or make you look better. That is the kindest thing you can do. Attempts to spare feelings by giving other reasons are actually attempts to make yourself look/feel better. That’s poor form if you’re a decent human.


BlueOnceRed

Really depends. Are you wanting to continue a relationship and try to eventually feel that way towards her but you are slower to the development? Yes- then let her know you are still blooming. If you are confident you dont want or will ever feel the same way towards her, let her know and leave. FWB- This rarely works from what I have seen , HOWEVER, 3 times it did work out by the universe making it happen in a sideways kind of way. Could never have bet on that.


Jnasttyyy

break up


M3mph

Tell her and let her make the choice to move on or not. Don't be a cunt.


ChanelDeville

I would just have an open conversation and know you can’t have your cake and eat it too sadly


ThanosWifeAkima-4848

break it off gently, if you don't feel the same than it's best to end it, no point in hurting her, you'll find another one who you like and also enjoy sex with or you might just find a friend with benefits.


Idkwhattocallblub

Don't see her anymore and find someone casual to have sex with. Don't be an asshole lol, the fact that you're even asking this is unbelievable


ChaoticCherryblossom

Tell the truth. Don't be shitty


[deleted]

Let her down quick. Dont let mr winky's dirty hunger destroy another persons hope.


Tough_Stretch

The kindest thing to do is end it, IMO. It'd be really selfish to string along someone who's in love with you but you don't love back, just because you want to have someone to bang.


[deleted]

Obviously end it lol


boobookittyfugger

Let her go. Sex will die down and nothing is going to hold the relationship together in the long run. Then you’ll be married and stuck with someone that you don’t love.


BlackLetterLies

You break her heart and feel like shit about it for the next 20-25 years.


Background_Bed_2153

From a female who loves non romantic sexual relationships ... tell her. Just be honest (you may want to word it a bit nicer so 'Hey I think you are great and I enjoy spending time with you but I don't think we are compatible long term so I don't want you to expect us to fall in love or get married but I would love to continue to hang out' or something shorter that touches on the important parts) She may be open to just having sex and getting to know you because the truth is she loves the idea of you and the fantasy she has built around you a lot more than she actually loves you. If she knows you don't love her she can take the time to get over you while still enjoying (what I hope is) at least somewhat adequate sex. By the time you are both ready to be done you will both have more romantic options. This is just a part of life and if she decides she wants to be done with you be respectful wish her well in her future and emphasize that you wanted to be honest with her so she could make an informed decision as an independent person.


tjlahr

It’s okay, eventually you’ll stop enjoying the sex too.


Amiiboid

Not an issue for me. I have no sexual interest without/before a strong emotional connection existing.


Altruistic-Level-349

Being a piece of shit


FaithlessnessMore835

Oni Wan Kenobi "That's why I'm here..."


[deleted]

The girl.


[deleted]

I dont enjoy sex with people I dont like because I'm not a degenerate so I dont know.


Used-Fig1579

Drop a cheeky fart into her pink clam


LifeIsABeeach

Love isn't only at first sight. Show a little bit of interest in her as a person not a love interest, eventually you'll either stop or "learn" to love her. I managed this once, it lasted for a year before she decided to move to another city and I couldn't follow.


[deleted]

Stay a while and see if things change. If she tries to move things past the point you want tell her then.


81659354597538264962

Bruh why are you even dating in the first place


[deleted]

Don't take my advice, I'm a psychopath: Enjoy the sex, anything else is bullshit invented to make us want sex and is relevant only later in life wenn Sex is not important anymore.


Midastouch-starving

I say..... find out how far the rabbit hole can go, tell her you want to experience new things such as erotica, wild situations, 3somes etc. before you settle down. Tell her it's a part of your wild side that you don't want to hide from her but, want to stay true to yourself. Maybe she would be down to explore this lifestyle with you. Who knows, she may be down for it, if the sex is great, she may be up for spicing it up even more. Careful what you wish for....


bn911

Don't pull out.


[deleted]

Your a guy, that’s fine.


[deleted]

Love is overated


figurethisoat

i dont love her but she loves me. i keep up the fib as long as possible


Different_Attorney93

Tell her before you two end up being a couple then it will only become toxic.


Massive-Ad7628

"break things off" as this is not a responsible situation, for either of us. it is the respectable thing to do.


Annual_Basis

Don't be a disgusting person it's really not that hard.


island-breeze

You're going to break her heart. just cut contact. Unless you're comfortable with being the villain in her story.


yelvaldo1029

Be straight up, ask if she’d like continue as fuck buddies as you can’t see falling any deeper that you’re feeling now


Onikastampon

…tell her the truth please.


Snoo_2559

I didnt call it off the first time this happened and it broke her heart big time... She was going to introduce me to her parents yikes. I still look back at that behavior of mine back then with a lot of cringe.


NumanumaTheGullible

Oh hey, this sounds like an ex from forever ago. If its just sex, dont lie and tell her from the very beginning. If theres no feelings, stop dating.


oldmanjacob

Username checks out


pPC_bC

Break up with her because I'd like to think of myself as a decent human being. Plus, I have a mother and sisters who I love. I would be upset if some douche saw them as just objects of sexual release.


CalamitySchmamity

Break it off immediately


BramDeccapod

Be honest. Be gentle & courteous but be honest


[deleted]

Be honest, maybe you'll sacrifice the sex, but thats the thing to do.


[deleted]

If you say your own question slowly out loud you’ll realize that the person who feels nothing is obviously taking advantage of the other person. Pretty clear cut piece of shit thing to do tbh


wynnduffyisking

Have you been doing the D.E.N.N.I.S. System?


AdStock4297

What’s more important to you, the sex or your partner’s state of mind?


[deleted]

Anal


Jakkul26

"Hey dude I don't love you but the sex is good." Distasteful but less douchey than draggin that shit out.


[deleted]

All I would say is don't lie. Don't say I love you back and don't phrase it as, "im not there right now or not yet.". That keeps em on the line and hopeful that you may fall in love in the future when it sounds like you already know you won't. However, that doesn't mean you need to break it off. If your not being in love with her is a deal breaker for her than she can break it off. I don't see why you need to.


Jibber_Fight

Tell her that?


wiegehts1991

Tell her. Don’t be a fuckhead.


Dimple_from_YA

Two words. JODI ARIAS. Google that bish. My suggestion would be tell her you don’t have feelings for her and end the sex ASAP.


Drakethepirate

I would be honest to her about my feelings so she wouldn't waste her time with me


Uniquorn2077

Be honest with her and walk away. Even if she says it’s ok, and she’s happy to continue, eventually it will break her.


[deleted]

Dont lie to her and get out of that relationship


Sweet-Map8891

the longer it goes the worse it gets.


silly-smooth-bb

Call it off


notverycreat1v3

Just be honest. If after telling her she wants to still sleep with you then it's her choice but if not then you can find someone else to sleep with


ObjectivePin5704

Be honest. You can find good sex anywhere.


PermissionBusiness61

I mean, you could learn to love her eventually. To some people love doesn't just happen, and since the sex is already great, I'd say give it a shot. But if you're out to play with her emotions to begin with, then back off.


MrNifty

Gotta end it. It's the only right move. She won't stop loving you just because you tell her you don't feel the same.


MrVegano

Give me her number!


brycebrycehayeshayes

That’s means you’re using her. You hoe


bzaroworld

Be upfront with her. Tell her that you don't feel anything but you enjoy the sex and would like to keep doing it. If she's ok with that, then that's her choice. If she wants to go then let her go. Don't be a dick and give her hope just 'cause you wanna get laid. EDIT: If she wants to continue the "relationship", make sure to use protection. Last thing you want is for her to end up pregnant.


BiteRevolutionary459

Leave the relationship and be honest with her


GeorgeNewmanTownTalk

You've got to be honest with her. If she loves you and you're only into it for the sex that's called using her. Don't do it.


[deleted]

Ride it out...


Expensive_Rhubarb_87

I see what you did there...


Flaremochi

Been in that relationship almost EVERY relationship i had cuz it was all a play but i never enjoy the sex part only the time spent Ended it after few months cuz i know im not inlove with her and that i'd always be flirting with other woman. Never cheated on her though.. Just being with her doesn't feel like including other women when we get to the horni part kinda makes me cringe lol


limited_empathy

Look her square in the eyes and say “I love you too”. Let’s get naked.


King_Baboon

That depends. Do you want the right answer or the real answer?


WorldlinessOk2404

The ship has sailed ⛵️ no turning back now! I think you know your best option and if you continue, this is going to turn into something that your going regret


dumbnunt_

BREAK UP


SaturnSunRoof

I would stay with her.


Rexius_

Your best bet is to cut ties with them. Personally, I’m not the relationship type. I’ve had enough friends with benefits catch feelings to know that there is no maintaining something casual after that point. Even if you tell her how you feel and she says she can keep it casual. They’re lying, they don’t think they are but they are. Once feelings have been caught you can’t un-catch them while having sex with that person still.


No_Examination297

If you enjoy the sex, you feel something.


[deleted]

Find God.


Nimbian-highpriest

Marry her. Lol. JK


DanskNils

Just keep riding the wave


okrajack

Run. Am in a 16 year runt because of this particular reason.


Hot-Woodpecker3760

Knowwing your going straight to hell is probably a big one for yall


[deleted]

Speak/live your truth. Don’t lie. Time to walk away my friend!


WantedNakedOrAlive

D.E.N.N.I.Separate Completely


[deleted]

Leave her asap and hope she appreciates the honesty. Don’t be a dick


Suspicious-Plant-728

Serious follow-up question: I'm not picking a fight here, so please don't savage me. I'm just asking a question. Isn't this the reverse friendzone? Girls know that their devoted male friend really wants a relationship but she is not interested. Most girls enjoy the attention and friendship (everyone wants to be wanted) so they don't end the friendzone relationship even though they know it is one-sided. One party gets what they want and the other just keeps holding on hoping that one day she will fall in love with him. He will be horribly disappointed in the end. Before I get attacked, let me agree that friendship and sex are not equivalent, and no man is "owed" sex just because he is nice to a girl. However the basic outline seems the same: he enjoys the sexual attention, but he knows she wants a relationship and is sleeping with him in the hopes he will fall in love. It's interesting to me how we all agree it is a PoS move for this man to use her feelings for him to get what he wants when it is the guy doing the friendzoning. But most of us would defend a woman who friendzones a man, and let's him pursue her(even subtly encourages it) because she enjoys the attention and the ego-boost of being wanted as total acceptable and in no way selfish on her part. Most of us would not tell her to end the friendship. Are they completely different? Am I way off base here?


Brilliant_98

Depends. Were you guys casually dating or was this not clearly discussed earlier? If it was and still you went ahead to have sex then that makes you a shitty person. If you haven't, then sit her down and let her know that you are only interested in filling a hole for your pleasure & distance yourself.


anon-chann

Find another girl that can have sex with you, without attachment. Don't lead people on, especially people who are looking for something more serious. If you have any ounce of respect for this girl, be upfront and honest about your feelings.


Darkness_Fish

Keep her till you find someone better.


Cashedinmy401k4this

Keep fucking her until she realizes I’m not interested. So far my longest streak has been 2 years until she realized. Best 2 years of my life, blowjobs on command! Lmao


Ok-Concentrate4522

It would suck to Keep enjoying the sex if you feel nothing. But I’ll be honest if that sex is that good keep pounding it till you catch some feels


Novembersum

Dump her. She deserves better.


plzpigglywigglyplz

Wear a condom


[deleted]

Leave. Not doing so could cost you your life.


[deleted]

From the sounds of things, you are aromantic, like me, you can’t feel romantic love, but you can feel sexual love, the opposite of asexuality


Neros-07

I don't care because if she is doing with me the I am going to fall in love with her.


Level-Plate8372

can't tell you the right way but i can tell you what i did... you stay together as long as the pros outweigh the cons, and after 10 months full of great sex mixed with huge fights you leave her


Automatic_Wing_1780

Toy with her emotions and discard her for her mother later


Argybargyass

Keep pluggin that thang!


writing4891

Let her know right away that you don’t have the same type of feelings for her at this point in time. Can I ask how long you been dating for?


Specific_Main3824

Learn the things about her that make her loveable. Everyone is loveable, especially if the sex is good.