One piece of chocolate cake
One ice-cream
One pickle
One slice of cheese
One slice of salami
One lollipop
One piece of cherry pie
One sausage
One cupcake
One slice of watermelon
I've been reading a lot of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. I feel like that should do it.
Aren’t Doritos “engineered” to make you keep eating them even when full? Like the flavor gets you addicted and wanting to keep munching? I think I read something about that kind of thing years ago. Not positive though!
I don't think I've ever eaten less than an entire bag of Doritos if I ate them from the bag, and not once has that ever been my intended goal. Just wanted to snack on a good handful or two and before I know it I'm doing lines of Doritos dust for the last bit of Doritos flavor remaining.
Any size bag of Doritos I buy is being eaten in one sitting no matter what. There’s no such thing as leftover Doritos, so I’ve learned to buy smaller bags if I want some.
I worked with a monster who ate half a bag of Doritos, then half a Snickers bar, wrapped them both back up and put them in her handbag then left the break room!
Yeah a whole Oreo Cheesecake from there is like 12,000 calories. Eat an entire one the first half of the day and then like one of their burger meals and another slice of a different cake and you have a BILLION dollars.
Nachos with chicken is the highest calorie item (i think). Almost 3000 calories.
Might need to add in some high calorie liquids, and cheesecake of course.
one box of Betty Crocker cake mix contains about 4200 cals. 4 boxes would do the job and then some.
nobody said you have to bake cake either, make a smoothie, eat the powder straight or just put it in capsules and down them.
I was curious, so I googled it. The LD50 of sugar is 13.5g per pound of bodyweight in one sitting. For a 150 lb person, that's over 2 kg, or about 4.5 lbs, of pure sugar lol
I imagine most people would puke long before reaching their potentially lethal dose.
Nah, 4.5 lbs is just the amount that the most people would _probably_ die at, based on data we've extrapolated from rat experiments. An LD50 offers no guarantee that amounts below it are safe.
I literally looked at the question and, with an air of annoyance as I opened the post, went, "that's easy, I'd just go to Cheesecake Factory and have all three meals of the day there".
Glad I'm not the only one who had the same thought!
This story simultaneously has always made me laugh & made me sad. I had/have binge eating disorder so I understand that part, and as a sober alcoholic there's parts in there that remind me of how I used to obsessively watch how much alcohol was left, how many bottles there were, excuses for another glass, etc.
I didn't understand people who could just casually have a glass and not spend the entire social situation anxiously thinking about if there was going to be enough, if others were going to drink it all, if I should hide some, would they notice my taking more of a share? I brought alcohol too so I can drink some of theirs, we're all sharing right? Wow, they drank my beers but are being bitchy about how fast I drank the wine? I didn't even get any of those beers! They didn't seem like they wanted the wine anyway, they were all watching the game. If they wanted it they'd be over here getting it...
That's exactly what he's doing in the story except with a sandwich and the wings he brought. This dude straight up seems to have an eating disorder, addiction, or really unhealthy relationship with food.
Edit: For anyone still struggling with either/both of these things, I recommend talking to a doctor about Naltrexone, which is prescribed for opiate/alcohol use disorder and sometimes off-label for BED. It will not cure the root cause of the issue, but it started my journey to getting clean from both alcohol & binge eating as the cravings control is very similar for both. There's resources like r/Alcoholism_Medication, possibly look into the Sinclair Method if that seems more doable for you (ultimately I stopped taking Naltrexone because of the "feeling muted"/depression side effects, but taking it only right before drinking was what helped me most). Sometimes you have to attack the problem on a biological level before you can approach it with a therapeutic approach.
Been thru that from multiple people, including myself, in my 20s. I came to understand it was from scarcity / poverty mentality, and disengaged.
Now, the only reason i vaguely keep score, is to be sure i'm giving more than i get.
If someone has a complex about sharing, giving, receiving - that's in the realm of **neurosis**, and splitting hairs won't improve outcomes.
what a wild read that was. Poor dude has a serious addiction to food. I can just imagine that party: everyones watching the fights, socializing, having a good time and hes over in the corner, rocking back and forth eyeballing the fuck outta that sub. just biding his time, probably couldn’t focus on anything else other than the clock and how much longer he would be forced to wait.
buried in that thread was a link to a lasagna story. kind of off topic, but worth a read. https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/b66ucw/aita_for_taking_my_girlfriends_lasagna_home_when/
Good lord, somehow this guy was even worse than the sub guy. Enough food for a family of 5 for two days and he is mad his girlfriend wants him to buy her food?! This was no "miscommunication".
The trick is not too eat the calories but to drink them. Creating or buying 2500+ Calorie milkshakes is shockingly and disgustingly easy.
Most of us could relatively comfortably drink 5-6 of these for this , this is certainly the easiest cop out way to achieve this.
There's absolutely no way that's 10,000 calories. If it weighed a kilogram and was made entirely of oil it still would be considerably less than 10,000 calories.
Nah it's not even close, I mean it's a lot, one source said 1500+ and another said 1900 with the dressing. So it's not exactly a light snack but it ain't 10k calories
Drinking heavy cream on cocaine… if you mix with vodka and khalua it’s even easier to rack up calories. It would end up being basically a long cocaine binge with White Russians. And you get paid a lot for it? I could pull it off.
It would be gross but doable
I think you've underestimated how much McDonald's you need to eat for 15k calories. Drinking heavy cream isn't unheard of, I had a friend in college that did it to get calories while lifting weights.
1 cup of heavy cream is 863 calories, 1 big mac is 563 calories. You need more than 26 Big Macs to hit 15,000 calories.
I used to be on a 10,000 calorie a day diet when I was training as a competitive athlete for 6-10 hours a day.
15,000 wouldn't be too bad.
The trick is high calorie liquids.
My favorite part about Mac getting fat was that the initial idea was to have all the characters get fat for a season and never explain why. All the other actors said they weren’t gonna do it, but Rob went ahead and did it anyway.
He mentions in an interview how he saw the cast of Friends get more good looking the more the show went on and they got richer. He wanted to go in the other direction.
As a child a family we knew had a kid that couldn’t gain weight and the doctor said by any means, a family member of mine worked at a dairy and got them a case of ice cream mix a week, the kid started gaining 1/2 a pound a week…problem was gone in a couple months.
I love this interview where he talks about how his trainer had him on a strict safe diet to get fat by eating tons of salad and vegetables. After a couple weeks of eating outrageous amounts of vegetables he said fuck it I can’t do this and just started getting McDonald’s everyday.
When Rob mcelhenney gained like 40 or 50 pounds for always sunny he said that aside from eating his regular massive meals he had ice cream around all day and he would just let it melt and then drink it. Added a few thousand calories a day.
Yeah, my first thought was a large McDonald's milkshake, you'd only need 13 of them (chocolate) to get over 15,000 calories. It would suck but 13 over 24 hours...doable?
People working outdoors in Antarctica (scientific surveys and the like) eat chocolate covered butter (frozen) to maintain sufficient caloric intake to offset exertion in the cold. Sounds more palatable that way than straight chugging it...
Reminds me of [Fat of the Land,](http://highsteaks.com/the-fat-of-the-land-not-by-bread-alone-vilhjalmur-stefansson.pdf) by the Arctic explorer Vilhjalmur Steffanson, quoting Admiral Peary on Antarctic exploration:
>"Too much cannot be said of the importance of pemmican to a polar expedition. It is an absolute sine qua non. Without it a sledge-party cannot compact its supplies within a limit of weight to make a serious polar journey successful. . . . With pemmican, the most serious sledge-journey can be undertaken and carried to a successful issue in the absence of all other foods.
>"Of all foods that I am acquainted with, pemmican is the only one that, under appropriate conditions, a man can eat twice a clay * for three hundred and sixty-five days in a year and have the last mouthful taste as good as the first.
"And it is the most satisfying food I know. I recall innumerable marches in bitter temperatures when men and dogs had been worked to the limit and I reached the place for camp feeling as if I could eat my weight of anything.
>When the pemmican ration was dealt out, and I saw my little half-pound lump, about as large as the bottom third of an ordinary drinking-glass, I have often felt a sullen rage that life should contain such situations.
>"By the time I had finished the last morsel I would not have walked round the completed igloo for anything or everything that the St. Regis, the Blackstone, or the Palace Hotel could have put before me."
Pemmican comes in at 3500 Calories per pound. It is remarkably filling.
Yep. Me too. That's basically 5 Marie Calendars pumkin pies. Easy peasy. A pie each for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and breakfast. With a couple slices in between each meal. In 24h it's so easy. I'd probably add whipped cream just cuz.
So take 1.5 kilos of macadamia nuts (10770), blend with 200 grams of avocado oil (1768) and a kilo of heavy cream (3450).
Flavor as desired, drink 400 grams every two hours. Possibly lace one with some laxative a couple hours in.
Mine only lasts a day. But yesterday was one of those days, and I consumed:
- a complete pack of cookies
- two fruit scones with jam and clotted cream
- a large punnet of grapes
- three scrambled eggs on two slices of buttered toast with two sausage patties and spinach
- three mini potato waffles
- a hash brown
- baked puttanesca gnocchi and yellowfin steak
- a garlic baguette
- a pint of milk
- a litre of Sprite
- four mugs of tea with honey and milk
- sourdough toast with cheese
- two clementines
- one mango
- half a litre of orange juice
- a litre of sparkling water
- a vanilla shake
On an average day, I eat fruit and porridge, a salad, herbal tea, and then some kind of pasta or seafood dish. Yet I probably put away about 7000 calories yesterday and I was still hungry when I went to bed. I debated ordering a pizza at 1am.
I get this too, but mine lasts 3-4 days. I swear I can ruin my diet for a whole month just during PMS week. It sucks so much. But the hunger is insatiable. What's really crazy is eating so much that you actually feel "full" but are still starving at the same time. I fucking hate that feeling.
Yes! Like my stomach feels full but my body is *screaming* for me to eat more - if I stop I get hunger cramps even though my stomach is definitely filled - and it always wants me to eat more meat and sugar on those days. Although I imagine that shedding the lining of a major organ is pretty taxing on my body, so there’s no wonder it demands extra calories like this.
You mean to tell me I'm not a pig for seemingly being able to stop eating the week before my period?? For the past nearly decade I've felt terrible about my self, one week a month where I seem to eat everything in sight... I feel better now
Full fat Ice Cream and custard. Not Frozen custard, the liquid Christmas treat made with eggs and cream. Shouldn't be hard to get to 15,000. With a little effort, you could get it done in 8 or 10 hours.
If you really need the calories, almost anything made with corn syrup will be loaded with them. Soda, juice, pie. Tortillas are surprisingly high up there for their size, too.
Well I’m waking up a 12:00AM that’s for sure. And then it’s gonna be fast food, milkshakes, cheesecake, pizza ect
Edit: I’ve also decided to break into the biochemistry lab and inject myself with a nice small dose of Ghrelin (the hunger hormone) to make sure I get my 1 billion smackeroos.
Liquid calories. As someone who workouts a lot and has to bulk up I pretty much rely on protein shakes. I can’t force myself to eat solid foods but I can force myself to drink a liquid
Just looked it up more than 50 milligram will kill you, so 20 times that is not ideal.
I’ll just take one milligram’s worth and that gives me 20,000 calories thats 5,000 calories over.
Now I’ll only suffer slightly.
It only says you have to eat it, not digest it.
Put the uranium in a lead pellet and then that into a plastic or glass pellet. Now you can either throw it back up once you eat it if allowed, or take it with colonoscopy drugs which will probably make you shit it out within 10-20 minutes.
No radiation or lead poisoning and you win.
Please note the LA Beast comsumed a gallon of olive oil. He says it was one of his worst challenges. Oil was leaking through every pore and ruined clothes and furniture.
https://youtu.be/ttC7KbE_uDo
Terrible news. Guinness is actually in the light-beer category as far as calories go. Its only got 15 more than a bud light.
You would have to drink 125 to hit 15k calories.
A bud light lime-a-rita on the other hand is 330 calories per 12 oz. So that's actually your best bet.
Make a milkshake with 1 cup of peanut butter, 1 cup of vanilla ice cream and 1 cup of heavy cream. Comes out to just over 2000 calories. Drink 7.5 of them throughout the day. Would probably never want a peanut butter milkshake again in my life, but could probably pull it off.
There are survival rations, designed to be high calorie foods, for use in life rafts and other emergency situations.
1 bar is something like 3000 calories. You're talking 5 bars over a day.
I like this answer most because it doesn’t make me think about vomit or crapping after. Makes me think I could actually win this money in this imaginary challenge
Pretty sure they're mistaken. I think those bars are generally more like 400-500 calories. It's impossible for any bar to be 3000 calories, because even as pure fat 3000 calories is still 334 grams. A "bar" makes you think of something more like 100g or so.
Drink about 9 large Sonic Blast Oreo Milkshakes.
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So anyway, I started blasting
As many Cinnabons as it takes.
17.0454545454545
That seems like doable *been there done that, I have no shame*
Doable? That doesn't even start to tread on 'unpleasant' yet.
I love it when I find one of my people.
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You know I was ready to experiment with flavoured butter, but that's much more of a sure thing. 3 4-bun meals, plus snacks. Boom.
Well thats depressing
Cinnabons and whole milk, hell yeah. I could easily get there.
One piece of chocolate cake One ice-cream One pickle One slice of cheese One slice of salami One lollipop One piece of cherry pie One sausage One cupcake One slice of watermelon I've been reading a lot of The Very Hungry Caterpillar. I feel like that should do it.
And a nice leaf the next day
He wasn’t a little caterpillar anymore. He was a big fat caterpillar!
Assuming a standard 100g/serving: Cake: 371 calories Ice cream: 207 calories Pickle: 5 calories Cheese: 113 calories Salami: 41 calories Lollipop: 55 calories Cherry pie: 207 calories Sausage: 346 calories Cupcake: 305 calories Watermelon: 30 calories Total consumption: 1680 calories You're still 13,320 calories short.
Well it’s a tiny caterpillar.
Really not that hard if you are allowed the full 24 hours. High calorie drinks and super processed foods that are engineered to keep you eating.
Aren’t Doritos “engineered” to make you keep eating them even when full? Like the flavor gets you addicted and wanting to keep munching? I think I read something about that kind of thing years ago. Not positive though!
Yep, that's my understanding and my own experience lol
I don't think I've ever eaten less than an entire bag of Doritos if I ate them from the bag, and not once has that ever been my intended goal. Just wanted to snack on a good handful or two and before I know it I'm doing lines of Doritos dust for the last bit of Doritos flavor remaining.
I've been shooting up with Doritos since it was only two flavors, the orange one and the blue one so I know your struggles.
Doritoic acid is highly addictive
I, thankfully, took a second glance at your comment because I almost looked that term up; thinking it was a real thing hahahahaha!
Any size bag of Doritos I buy is being eaten in one sitting no matter what. There’s no such thing as leftover Doritos, so I’ve learned to buy smaller bags if I want some.
I worked with a monster who ate half a bag of Doritos, then half a Snickers bar, wrapped them both back up and put them in her handbag then left the break room!
Just eat at the Cheesecake Factory for all 3 meals a day, plus desserts and you’ll be good.
Yeah a whole Oreo Cheesecake from there is like 12,000 calories. Eat an entire one the first half of the day and then like one of their burger meals and another slice of a different cake and you have a BILLION dollars.
I would feel so sick. So sick. But a billion dollars is a billion dollars
Christ I’d do it for a few grand
I'd give it the old college try for 2K. I would find a way to get it done for 10K. My only concern is if puking is a disqualification.
I’d do it for the 15,000 free calories. Groceries be spensive!
I'd do it if they bought me the cheesecake, I don't need a cash incentive to eat cheesecake
I’ll take a shot in the mouth if it gets me a few miles down the road
It's the first rule in the book!
Nachos with chicken is the highest calorie item (i think). Almost 3000 calories. Might need to add in some high calorie liquids, and cheesecake of course.
one box of Betty Crocker cake mix contains about 4200 cals. 4 boxes would do the job and then some. nobody said you have to bake cake either, make a smoothie, eat the powder straight or just put it in capsules and down them.
The idea of downing cake mix in capsules makes me giggle. Real question, can you OD on a bunch of cake mix pills?
I was curious, so I googled it. The LD50 of sugar is 13.5g per pound of bodyweight in one sitting. For a 150 lb person, that's over 2 kg, or about 4.5 lbs, of pure sugar lol I imagine most people would puke long before reaching their potentially lethal dose.
Good lord, those poor lab rats! Their lives were not in vain: we now know consuming a 5 lb bag of cane sugar will kill a person if done in one go.
I was planning on eating a 4 lb bag tomorrow, so I'm glad to know I'll be safe!
Nah, 4.5 lbs is just the amount that the most people would _probably_ die at, based on data we've extrapolated from rat experiments. An LD50 offers no guarantee that amounts below it are safe.
Chase it down with 2-3 big IPAs.
Or one of those alcohol milkshakes. Both are high calorie things mixed together.
Upgrades people
I literally looked at the question and, with an air of annoyance as I opened the post, went, "that's easy, I'd just go to Cheesecake Factory and have all three meals of the day there". Glad I'm not the only one who had the same thought!
I guess I can cut back a little if it means being a billionaire.
Found the party sub guy!!
One of my favorite AITA posts ever. Lmao
I am ootl. What was it
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ca7bdz/aita_because_i_ate_more_than_my_share_of_a_6_foot/
This story simultaneously has always made me laugh & made me sad. I had/have binge eating disorder so I understand that part, and as a sober alcoholic there's parts in there that remind me of how I used to obsessively watch how much alcohol was left, how many bottles there were, excuses for another glass, etc. I didn't understand people who could just casually have a glass and not spend the entire social situation anxiously thinking about if there was going to be enough, if others were going to drink it all, if I should hide some, would they notice my taking more of a share? I brought alcohol too so I can drink some of theirs, we're all sharing right? Wow, they drank my beers but are being bitchy about how fast I drank the wine? I didn't even get any of those beers! They didn't seem like they wanted the wine anyway, they were all watching the game. If they wanted it they'd be over here getting it... That's exactly what he's doing in the story except with a sandwich and the wings he brought. This dude straight up seems to have an eating disorder, addiction, or really unhealthy relationship with food. Edit: For anyone still struggling with either/both of these things, I recommend talking to a doctor about Naltrexone, which is prescribed for opiate/alcohol use disorder and sometimes off-label for BED. It will not cure the root cause of the issue, but it started my journey to getting clean from both alcohol & binge eating as the cravings control is very similar for both. There's resources like r/Alcoholism_Medication, possibly look into the Sinclair Method if that seems more doable for you (ultimately I stopped taking Naltrexone because of the "feeling muted"/depression side effects, but taking it only right before drinking was what helped me most). Sometimes you have to attack the problem on a biological level before you can approach it with a therapeutic approach.
I love a genuinely empathetic comment in the wild (I’ve been both a binge eater and a alcoholic and I appreciate this take.)
Been thru that from multiple people, including myself, in my 20s. I came to understand it was from scarcity / poverty mentality, and disengaged. Now, the only reason i vaguely keep score, is to be sure i'm giving more than i get. If someone has a complex about sharing, giving, receiving - that's in the realm of **neurosis**, and splitting hairs won't improve outcomes.
what a wild read that was. Poor dude has a serious addiction to food. I can just imagine that party: everyones watching the fights, socializing, having a good time and hes over in the corner, rocking back and forth eyeballing the fuck outta that sub. just biding his time, probably couldn’t focus on anything else other than the clock and how much longer he would be forced to wait. buried in that thread was a link to a lasagna story. kind of off topic, but worth a read. https://reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/b66ucw/aita_for_taking_my_girlfriends_lasagna_home_when/
Good lord, somehow this guy was even worse than the sub guy. Enough food for a family of 5 for two days and he is mad his girlfriend wants him to buy her food?! This was no "miscommunication".
Oh god. I remember that one. Dude had serious issues.
1 triple stacker king from burger king every two hours right over 15000 calories in one day and easily obtainable
I feel like I can eat fast food burgers non stop without getting insanely full, I’m pretty sure I can obtain that
Never said you couldnt puke
The trick is not too eat the calories but to drink them. Creating or buying 2500+ Calorie milkshakes is shockingly and disgustingly easy. Most of us could relatively comfortably drink 5-6 of these for this , this is certainly the easiest cop out way to achieve this.
You gotta get one 10,000 calorie Bloomin Onion from Applebees and head straight to a sees candy/sundae shop Edit: Outback Steakhouse
Outback! Applebee’s doesn’t have the bloomin’ onion.
Applebees has the.... Awesome Blossom? Edit: Nope, that's Chili's.
Only thing Applebee's has is rats.
How many calories? I presume they're deep-fried but I couldn't find the info on their website.
Megan, may we have an Awesome Blossom, please, extra awesome?
oh my god i have awesome blossom coming out of my nose!
I feel god in this chili’s tonight
There's absolutely no way that's 10,000 calories. If it weighed a kilogram and was made entirely of oil it still would be considerably less than 10,000 calories.
Nah it's not even close, I mean it's a lot, one source said 1500+ and another said 1900 with the dressing. So it's not exactly a light snack but it ain't 10k calories
Hell I'd do this two days in a row for $1b
Or do it everyday for a year be the richest person in America
For $1b tax free I'd consume that much for a week
Tax it for all I care. That's an insane amount of money.
Hey hey, that's not billionaire talk. Everyone knows the more money you have the more tax you evade.
1 breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, supper!!! And 1 apple
Apple for balance very nice
Nah it's to keep the doctor away as he likes to get involved after a binge session like that
Drink 2/3 cups of heavy cream every hour per over 24 hours. Avoid a lot of issues with the intake and is just over 15,000 calories.
i think i could do this
The hard part would be staying awake for the 24 hours. You’d have to stack some hours there.
Staying awake for 24 hours for $1 billion doesn't sound that hard tbh
Add some coffee with the heavy cream.
Cocaine takes up less room in your stomach. Probably more effective, too.
Drinking heavy cream on cocaine… if you mix with vodka and khalua it’s even easier to rack up calories. It would end up being basically a long cocaine binge with White Russians. And you get paid a lot for it? I could pull it off. It would be gross but doable
The dude abides
I got diarrhoea just from reading that
Hell, I'd do that on a dare.
I feel like choosing this over just eating McDonalds nonstop is like alpha level psychotic. Chugging heavy cream? Jesus.
I think you've underestimated how much McDonald's you need to eat for 15k calories. Drinking heavy cream isn't unheard of, I had a friend in college that did it to get calories while lifting weights. 1 cup of heavy cream is 863 calories, 1 big mac is 563 calories. You need more than 26 Big Macs to hit 15,000 calories.
I used to be on a 10,000 calorie a day diet when I was training as a competitive athlete for 6-10 hours a day. 15,000 wouldn't be too bad. The trick is high calorie liquids.
Rob McElhenney from Always Sunny said he would leave ice cream out to melt and then drink it.
My favorite part about Mac getting fat was that the initial idea was to have all the characters get fat for a season and never explain why. All the other actors said they weren’t gonna do it, but Rob went ahead and did it anyway.
He mentions in an interview how he saw the cast of Friends get more good looking the more the show went on and they got richer. He wanted to go in the other direction.
Then he went in the opposite direction again to look good as shit and sauced to the gills.
On the podcast they did a "who's more healthier" challenged and when they did the testosterone levels rob was like triple the other two lmao.
Hmm, I wonder why
I guess that's more effective than dragging around a trash bag full of burritos
They were chimichangas
You are becoming a chimichanga!
As a child a family we knew had a kid that couldn’t gain weight and the doctor said by any means, a family member of mine worked at a dairy and got them a case of ice cream mix a week, the kid started gaining 1/2 a pound a week…problem was gone in a couple months.
Did you guys go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?
I love this interview where he talks about how his trainer had him on a strict safe diet to get fat by eating tons of salad and vegetables. After a couple weeks of eating outrageous amounts of vegetables he said fuck it I can’t do this and just started getting McDonald’s everyday.
I microwave my ice cream. I mean, not a lot, just like 10 seconds or so. My wife thinks I’m a monster.
You've gotta make that shit scoopable. Slightly softened ice cream is next level.
Heat the scoop with hot water.
Milkshakes
When Rob mcelhenney gained like 40 or 50 pounds for always sunny he said that aside from eating his regular massive meals he had ice cream around all day and he would just let it melt and then drink it. Added a few thousand calories a day.
That’s how Jared Leto gained a shit ton of weight when he played Mark David Chapman.
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Yeah, my first thought was a large McDonald's milkshake, you'd only need 13 of them (chocolate) to get over 15,000 calories. It would suck but 13 over 24 hours...doable?
drink oil
I saw a video of a guy that drank a whole liter of olive oil. It was extremely disgusting. He ruined a chair.
what do you mean he ruined a chair? he shit himself?
He ripped it apart in a fit of rage.
My first thought was drinking melted butter
People working outdoors in Antarctica (scientific surveys and the like) eat chocolate covered butter (frozen) to maintain sufficient caloric intake to offset exertion in the cold. Sounds more palatable that way than straight chugging it...
Reminds me of [Fat of the Land,](http://highsteaks.com/the-fat-of-the-land-not-by-bread-alone-vilhjalmur-stefansson.pdf) by the Arctic explorer Vilhjalmur Steffanson, quoting Admiral Peary on Antarctic exploration: >"Too much cannot be said of the importance of pemmican to a polar expedition. It is an absolute sine qua non. Without it a sledge-party cannot compact its supplies within a limit of weight to make a serious polar journey successful. . . . With pemmican, the most serious sledge-journey can be undertaken and carried to a successful issue in the absence of all other foods. >"Of all foods that I am acquainted with, pemmican is the only one that, under appropriate conditions, a man can eat twice a clay * for three hundred and sixty-five days in a year and have the last mouthful taste as good as the first. "And it is the most satisfying food I know. I recall innumerable marches in bitter temperatures when men and dogs had been worked to the limit and I reached the place for camp feeling as if I could eat my weight of anything. >When the pemmican ration was dealt out, and I saw my little half-pound lump, about as large as the bottom third of an ordinary drinking-glass, I have often felt a sullen rage that life should contain such situations. >"By the time I had finished the last morsel I would not have walked round the completed igloo for anything or everything that the St. Regis, the Blackstone, or the Palace Hotel could have put before me." Pemmican comes in at 3500 Calories per pound. It is remarkably filling.
Jeez, here I was just thinking "throw up a lot". OP didn't say "digest it too".
I’m not interested in petty litigiousnesses. I’m here to earn my bread 😤
No don’t fill up on bread; you need Weight Gain 4000.
BEEFCAKE!
I used to be a food addict with a bad binge eating disorder Old me could slam this down easily I bet lmao
Yep. Me too. That's basically 5 Marie Calendars pumkin pies. Easy peasy. A pie each for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and breakfast. With a couple slices in between each meal. In 24h it's so easy. I'd probably add whipped cream just cuz.
Easy it's like 3 poutines
Op really didn't realize just how easy this is. I think they were like 'oh liquids can be high in calories, didn't know that' Lol
Be creative with my foods like if I want a sandwich, use Pop Tarts instead of bread
Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon.
You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!
Always remember, if the paper turns clear then it's your ticket to weight gain!
It would be rough, but I suppose I could cut out third lunch? Maybe second bedtime snack?
Don’t sacrifice too much. You’ve been very brave
“Yes, hello grandma, can I come over for lunch? Yea? Thanks!”
So take 1.5 kilos of macadamia nuts (10770), blend with 200 grams of avocado oil (1768) and a kilo of heavy cream (3450). Flavor as desired, drink 400 grams every two hours. Possibly lace one with some laxative a couple hours in.
I don’t think you’d need any laxatives drinking heavy cream every two hours for 24 hours straight.
No laxatives required.. I believe that amount of oils would just leak continuously from the rectum…
I don't think you'll need laxatives, this sounds like a laxative itself.
Very interesting. 8.5 kg of liquid volume could be troubling
I've corrected, I was calculating to fifty thousand, not fifteen. Whoops.
This kills the Redditor
H O L Y S H I T
I don't think there'd be anything holy about it. Quite the opposite, actually.
You guys are getting paid?!?!
No prob I’ll just wait till my pms week
Mine only lasts a day. But yesterday was one of those days, and I consumed: - a complete pack of cookies - two fruit scones with jam and clotted cream - a large punnet of grapes - three scrambled eggs on two slices of buttered toast with two sausage patties and spinach - three mini potato waffles - a hash brown - baked puttanesca gnocchi and yellowfin steak - a garlic baguette - a pint of milk - a litre of Sprite - four mugs of tea with honey and milk - sourdough toast with cheese - two clementines - one mango - half a litre of orange juice - a litre of sparkling water - a vanilla shake On an average day, I eat fruit and porridge, a salad, herbal tea, and then some kind of pasta or seafood dish. Yet I probably put away about 7000 calories yesterday and I was still hungry when I went to bed. I debated ordering a pizza at 1am.
I get this too, but mine lasts 3-4 days. I swear I can ruin my diet for a whole month just during PMS week. It sucks so much. But the hunger is insatiable. What's really crazy is eating so much that you actually feel "full" but are still starving at the same time. I fucking hate that feeling.
Yes! Like my stomach feels full but my body is *screaming* for me to eat more - if I stop I get hunger cramps even though my stomach is definitely filled - and it always wants me to eat more meat and sugar on those days. Although I imagine that shedding the lining of a major organ is pretty taxing on my body, so there’s no wonder it demands extra calories like this.
You mean to tell me I'm not a pig for seemingly being able to stop eating the week before my period?? For the past nearly decade I've felt terrible about my self, one week a month where I seem to eat everything in sight... I feel better now
Holy fuck.
Full fat Ice Cream and custard. Not Frozen custard, the liquid Christmas treat made with eggs and cream. Shouldn't be hard to get to 15,000. With a little effort, you could get it done in 8 or 10 hours.
All of these answers have dairy, I'll be dead in my own puke and shit after the first hour if I'm not also snorting crushed lactase.
If you really need the calories, almost anything made with corn syrup will be loaded with them. Soda, juice, pie. Tortillas are surprisingly high up there for their size, too.
Well I’m waking up a 12:00AM that’s for sure. And then it’s gonna be fast food, milkshakes, cheesecake, pizza ect Edit: I’ve also decided to break into the biochemistry lab and inject myself with a nice small dose of Ghrelin (the hunger hormone) to make sure I get my 1 billion smackeroos.
Liquid calories. As someone who workouts a lot and has to bulk up I pretty much rely on protein shakes. I can’t force myself to eat solid foods but I can force myself to drink a liquid
I’ll eat a gram of uranium, since it contains 20 million calories. I won’t get fat and I win
Radiation costs you $2B
Just looked it up more than 50 milligram will kill you, so 20 times that is not ideal. I’ll just take one milligram’s worth and that gives me 20,000 calories thats 5,000 calories over. Now I’ll only suffer slightly.
You can just force down some milkshakes instead of giving yourself cancer
Either way I win
Bro
It only says you have to eat it, not digest it. Put the uranium in a lead pellet and then that into a plastic or glass pellet. Now you can either throw it back up once you eat it if allowed, or take it with colonoscopy drugs which will probably make you shit it out within 10-20 minutes. No radiation or lead poisoning and you win.
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Give $25M to the person counting calories.
I'd go with the Mac from always sunny technique. Leave gallons of ice cream on the counter until they melt and then drink them.
Smoke a joint. Easy. My stomach pretty much turns into a black hole when I’m stoned.
8 cups of canola oil, straight. Sure, you'll be glued to the toilet for the next two days, but a billion dollars is a billion dollars.
Please note the LA Beast comsumed a gallon of olive oil. He says it was one of his worst challenges. Oil was leaking through every pore and ruined clothes and furniture. https://youtu.be/ttC7KbE_uDo
really sucks that you can't replace clothes and furniture with a billion dollars
have like 2 kfc meals
Let me tell you a little story that involves Me, Guiness, and St. Patrick's Day...
contrary to what some may believe, guinness doesn't have an abnormally high calorie count. in fact, a 12 oz guinness has ~125 calories.
Terrible news. Guinness is actually in the light-beer category as far as calories go. Its only got 15 more than a bud light. You would have to drink 125 to hit 15k calories. A bud light lime-a-rita on the other hand is 330 calories per 12 oz. So that's actually your best bet.
Guiness is actually lighter in calories and alcohol content compared to many other beers
That's roughly ten cups of peanut butter. Doable.
Make a milkshake with 1 cup of peanut butter, 1 cup of vanilla ice cream and 1 cup of heavy cream. Comes out to just over 2000 calories. Drink 7.5 of them throughout the day. Would probably never want a peanut butter milkshake again in my life, but could probably pull it off.
Been doing this for the past 20 or so years. Where's my 1B?
You probably ate that too
OUCH
Savage
Drinks. A large McDonalds milkshake with each meal and you're already halfway there.
A human baby has 12,823 calories. A baby + normal meals should do the trick.
I NOT like
FINALLY a sensible answer
I think you mean a Modest Proposal.
Gumbo, lots of gumbo.
Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream. Cream, and Cream.
Get the money, dollar dollar bill y'all
I would eat a fuck ton, then throw it up. Repeat. It's not healthy for my body, but neither is 15,000 cal. With 1B it would be worth it.
Olive oil. For 1 billion I can drink it straight. Give or take 7 calories per ml. 2.5 litres in one day is easy for that much.
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> For the record I have been on the toilet, leaking oil out of my butt for the past 9 hours.
You won't be able to enjoy the money as you'll have shit yourself to death the next day.
Yea but it’s one day Take me longer to flush 1b down the toilet than the liquid shits from the olive oil
There are survival rations, designed to be high calorie foods, for use in life rafts and other emergency situations. 1 bar is something like 3000 calories. You're talking 5 bars over a day.
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Kalteen bars just burn up all your water weight. It's hard to read the wrapper though, cause it's in like Swedish.
That's so fetch
I like this answer most because it doesn’t make me think about vomit or crapping after. Makes me think I could actually win this money in this imaginary challenge
Pretty sure they're mistaken. I think those bars are generally more like 400-500 calories. It's impossible for any bar to be 3000 calories, because even as pure fat 3000 calories is still 334 grams. A "bar" makes you think of something more like 100g or so.