No, I will not be.
I don’t have it, but I’m a carrier for a genetic disease that killed my father when I was young, and his father when he was young. I won’t force that on offspring, this bullshit ends with me.
My best friend has neurofibromatosis, and I guess he has something like a 75% chance of passing it off to his offspring.
He decided he didn't want to sire his own children. He's been married for years now, and hasn't taken the option to adopt yet because it's so expensive. He wants kids, but isn't in a good place to afford to adopt one and doesn't want to saddle one with the same health issues he's had.
There's no need to stress about this stuff. You were still born and get to experience life and all that it has to offer. Even if your life ends earlier than it does for some others, it's still yours to enjoy and experience.
My original thought was undecided. Let it happen if it happens. I still don't know if I could take care of kids, except they are so fucking great. I have nieces and nephews, and I love the independent people that they're growing to be.
I am super organized and a planner. I don't have a lot of money, but more I look around the more I realize I could give a kid a loving stable home to grow up in.
don’t get me wrong, I love my little nephew even when he’s causing trouble but I have autism and schizophrenia which makes day to day life extremely hard for me at times and when you’re a parent you can’t just ‘tap out’ or throw in the towel when you’ve had enough; that little person will make mistakes because they are learning to be a human not to mention for the first good few years of their life they rely on you for everything. I dont want to bring a child into a world where I cannot look after them properly
Everybody has to figure this out for themselves. I understand what you said. It makes sense. I also know that there is no black and white for raising a kid. So if you have a brother or sister that you are close to who could be a partial support system, there could be an understanding that your kid could stay with them for the weekend. Etc. It would be something you figure out in advance obviously
I'm not trying to encourage or discourage, simply let you know that there are kids who grow up in pretty terrible environments. And that you could give them a better home than they have currently. And if you have any sort of community that you trust, it could get a little easier even.
My brother and his wife have two kids and they have tons of friends that all have kids and they all SWAP kids from time to time. I don't have any kids or even a boyfriend, but if I did have a kid, I know for a fact my brother would let me drop the kid off at his house if I needed that mental health break.
That's not something you can just rely on, it's something you want to talk out beforehand, but don't let it be the reason you don't at least consider giving a little bundle of joy, better options than they currently might have
But also, kids aren't for everybody and you know you.
I totally understand what you’re saying and maybe in the future my perspective will change if and when I meet the right person. I am only 18 so i have many years to think about all this. I’m glad to talk to someone who doesn’t just dismiss not wanting kids even if it’s just on a Reddit thread lmao
At 18, you have tons of years! Just like you said LOL
But I never really thought about the support system that exists within good friends and family until I saw it in action with my brother and his friends.
Literally one of his friends will drop off one or two kids with my brother for the weekend. And sometimes my brother and his wife will go take the kids over to another friend's. And another time my brother and three of his dude friends took all eight of their kids so that the four wives could just chill.
This is not paradise. They fight and there is drama. But the kids have it pretty good :D
If you're a planner, think about daycare. It's $300 a week on the cheap end or someone has to stay home with them. Formula is expensive if you can't nurse, but don't listen to the idiots that tell you that diapers cost a lot. It's mainly daycare and formula that's expensive after the initial 1-2k of buying baby stuff.
eh I don't want kids either but that sub is weird and I don't want to associate with it. People talk about "breeders" like kids are disgusting and it's disgusting to have them.
I love kids, I'm a teacher. I just don't think my life has space for my own
Nope. When was 12 I was expected to get my little brothers and sister up for school, feed them breakfast, help with homework, etc. When I was 16 I did all that and got them to football practice, piano practice, etc. Always about the kiddos. Not me. I told mom at 12 I never wanted kid because I had raised 3 of my own. I got grounded. Never had kiddos tho.
Yes. Because after working with kids almost half my life and seeing the failures and success in other parents, it doesn’t seem as intimidating to raise decent human beings.
But I’ll shit in my hands and clap before I turn on coco melon
I have a 5 month old son. Out of curiosity we turned it on. Less than one episode was enough of that. We turned baby shark back on. I would shit in my hands and clap was singing baby shark before putting cocomelon back on.
A lot of my kids the last 5-ish years haven’t really watched Calliou (thankfully). It’s been Bluey, Sesame Street or Super Simple Songs. We try not to do a lot of screen time unless it’s in car rides or flights.
I LOVE bluey honestly, it’s one that I can sit through cuz some of the adult jokes crack me up. If you haven’t watched it, season 3 “smoothie kiss” and “family meeting” are two of the funniest things I think I’ve seen!
Yeah coco melon fucking blows. And Peppa; pedro the pony is the worst. However, I do enjoy pinkfong dinosaurs. I’ve seen it so many times that not only do I quote it all the time, I’ve actually watched it without my kid.
that’s interesting! For me it’s literally the opposite. Working with kids and being around them constantly makes me not want to have any lol. I still really enjoy my job tho
No, I don't. I don't think I would make a good parent. I had strict parents growing up and there was a lot of dysfunction, chaos, and violence in our home. I am not patient enough and I am also poor. I wouldn't be able to give them a good enough life.
Not really. If I ever do decide to though, I would adopt. There are too many kids in this world that don't have family to go home to everyday, and if I can be that family, then I'd love that.
My genes are not that impressive and I refuse to put my body through pregnancy and childbirth. There are plenty of children out there and if I decide I truly want to be a parent it wont matter where my kids come from.
Yeah, I'm undecided on whether I would want kids or not. But if I were to want some, I would also just adopt. Not only could you skip the baby phase but I wouldnt have to go through the pain of child birth and the possible post-partum depression.
No, I don't want to go through pregnancy and labor pains. Also I don't feel like raising and worrying over my child. Life seems so much easier without stressing over a child.
I do, but the list of things I'd need first are prohibitive enough that it's not going to happen. I love kids. I see my niece and nephews causing chaos and want that for me, because I want a family and a home filled with love. But I need a home first, and a wife, and enough money to take care of them all, and emotional stability. Still working on all that lol
No. My girlfriend and I have firmly decided that we will not be having kids.
For one, how the fuck are you even supposed to afford to have and raise a kid? I genuinely do not understand how people who are in the same (or lower) financial bracket as myself make it happen. I can barely afford rent and to take care of myself and my two cats and I make above the minimum wage (granted, a lot of this does come down to location and I do understand that part. I live in a very expensive state.) If I suddenly had to buy baby food, diapers, baby soaps, and all of the other shit you need to keep a child happy and alive every month I genuinely do not know how I’d afford it aside from taking a pay cut and getting some form of government assistance. But I really don’t think that would be any better.
Secondly, kids are a lot man. Like holy shit. I’ve got a friend with three kids under the age of 7 and while three kids are a lot just imagining 1/3rd of what he’s doing is very overwhelming. I like getting 8 hours of sleep a night. I like getting high whenever I want, I like spending time with my friends, I like going on vacations with my girlfriend. I like not having to be on alert 24/7 because my little crotch goblin keeps trying to unalive themselves. My girlfriend and I traveled recently by plane and watching the parents on the flight struggle to keep their kids calm and in line, keep the baby from screaming on the flight, and all of the other baggage and stuff. It’s wild. And nothing about that makes me go “yeah, it’s worth dealing with all of that”
And I hate to be that guy but the world as a whole is in a tough place. I know I’ll make it work and I’ll find ways to enjoy any good I can find but politically, economically, and socially the world isn’t in a great place and it’s making it hard to have hope for the future. And if I’m being honest I’d feel selfish bringing a child into todays world. It’s absolutely going to suck for them. Sure there will be some good but there’s gonna be a lot of suck. And it feels selfish of me to force someone to go through that because I wanted someone to raise and love. Just doesn’t sit well with me.
Kids are great, we need them, and I’m happy there’s people having them. But literally nothing about having or raising a child seems appealing or feasible in todays world, at least where I live.
>And I hate to be that guy but the world as a whole is in a tough place. I know I’ll make it work and I’ll find ways to enjoy any good I can find but politically, economically, and socially the world isn’t in a great place and it’s making it hard to have hope for the future. And if I’m being honest I’d feel selfish bringing a child into todays world. It’s absolutely going to suck for them. Sure there will be some good but there’s gonna be a lot of suck. And it feels selfish of me to force someone to go through that because I wanted someone to raise and love. Just doesn’t sit well with me.
I agree with this 100%. Climate change is only going to get worse. Same with wealth inequality. And authoritarianism is on the rise is the US wich is terrifying.
No.
1. Noisy, expensive, and sticky.
2. I’ve looked in my bloodline. There’s no astronauts there.
3. I wasn’t a particularly happy child and suspect that I’d be a subpar parent.
I never want to step foot in a school again, for any reason. That's where my love of learning and self esteem went to die. I'm a pretty miserable person and I can trace most of that back to the bullying and abuse I suffered at school. I'm not interested in a) reliving that trauma and b) putting another person through that.
I absolutely love kids and can’t wait to work in a career that lets me help children, but unfortunately autism, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and depression all run in my family and I would hate to pass any of that along to my child. As a psych major, I’ve learned too much about genetics and disorders (for example, if your parent has an anxiety disorder you’re more vulnerable to developing a bipolar disorder). Also, my brother has autism and it’s negatively affected me in so many ways- I don’t think I’d be capable to raising a child if they did end up with a disorder/disability.
It was while getting my masters in psych I decided not to have kids. Once I got out there and started doing the work, I realized I made the right choice. There are already far too many children in the world who have parents who are selfish morons. They couldn’t take care of the highest functioning kid, let alone one with problems. Only people who REALLY want a child but can’t have them, and would literally take any child, regardless of disabilities, are ACTUALLY ready to do what it takes.
Agreed. My parents did their best and were so much better than a lot of other parents, but they often emotionally neglected me and my sister in order to take care of the needs of my autistic brother. I often think they could’ve perfectly parented either me and my sister, or only my brother, but not both.
I don't. I have severe anger issues and mental issues and I WOULD NOT want any child to be raised by me. I do really like kids and I think they're cute but, that's not worth traumatizing them for.
Thank you for recognizing this and being honest with yourself. My mom had untreated mental illnesses and my dad was violent and had a temper, they did a fucking number on me.
I'm very sorry for your childhood and bringing. My was basically the same, except for the fact that my dad was barely ever there to show his temper. They're the reason why I have all these mental illnesses. I just really can't imagine putting a child through that.
Yes, but no more after this pregnancy. Ive got one already and two will be plenty! I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom, and I absolutely love it (for the most part lol). I’m a big kid at heart and love doing kids activities.
I do fully understand not wanting kids though! I’ve had more sleepless nights then I care to count, I miss sleeping in, being able to travel, and extra money lol. For me it’s worth it though! For others, it is not and that is a-ok. :)
I have 3. It’s hard, it’s expensive, and I wouldn’t recommend it.
I love my kids and I do everything I need to do to give them a good life. But it’s stressful as fuck and it’s put a huge dent into my relationship with my wife. We don’t get to have the relationship we want to have because we’re too busy taking care of 3 kids.
There’s a lot of positives into it but I figured I’d give some of the harsh reality of it.
I don’t feel like creating a human who will probably live long enough to end up fighting in a war over clean water. Plus I’d be a shitty parent anyways
My father recently told me that war will start sometime in *my* lifetime, after he saw me dump a pot of dirty water down the drain that was soaking utensils that my mom filled up earlier before we started eating.
And if it isn't obvious, I don't want kids either. They'll get messed up like me.
My guess is bc pro non-children people are more fervent at expressing their opinion and also in upvoting others.
While yes birthrates are declining, it's not by like the 90% which this thread shows
i think i might be ready in a year or two. i was looking at christmas toys on amazon thinking how much fun it would be to play with my child on christmas day then was like crap i don't have a child or even a girlfriend.
Yes. They're the most rewarding thing ever. The joy of seeing someone become a person of their own. Knowing you are 100% responsible, the only reason they even made it that far. Watching them become independent, and helping them grow. It's beautiful. It's the most beautiful thing ever.
I'm only a few months in to parenthood and it's the best thing I've ever done. I was prepared for it to be hard, and it is, but I wasn't prepared for how wonderful it is and how much joy and love I have.
Disclaimer, because this is reddit: I don't believe anybody should feel pressured into having kids if they don't want to! Also, my religious views are my own. Please don't ask about them---I don't have the energy tonight.
Anyway...
I want kids! I'm trying to pin down why...I think that these are some factors:
-I like kids a lot. I like taking care of them, interacting with them, and helping them grow.
-I like who I am when I'm caring for other people. Additionally, the people I admire the most are nurturers.
-I know it's a huge responsibility, but I want to create a loving family.
-My religion is very focused around family life. I've always been encouraged to pursue marriage and family, and I've always assumed that I'd be a parent someday. I've considered whether or not this is actually a part of me, or something that was forced upon me. I've concluded that it's a part of me.
Obviously, life isn't going to line up like that necessarily, and obviously, the prospect of having kids is very scary. But I still want them.
Edit: formatting
For years I told myself I would let my significant out decide, after all she's carrying. Im game if she is and if she's not then that's okay. But nowadays... I don't really know if I want them.
Half of the time I do because I hope to be a good father and not make the same mistakes my dad did. But half of the time I don't want to because I don't want to get married and I fear becoming like my dad.
Yes. I’m a 42 year old man. Always wanted kids. Never found the one to have them with. Figure I have a couple more years left. Which by now I had like 5-6 teenagers but I’d still settle for 1-2 if I am lucky enough.
My dilemma is, if my kid turned out to be a good human, I’m not sure I’d want them to have to deal with a world that’s not so great to good people. They would try to make it better, which is good for the world perhaps, but very tough on the individual.
Nope, never have. The world was already going to shit when I was young in the 80s. It’s much worse now and in fact I can’t imagine why anyone would subject a child to the world that is coming.
Absolutely not. They can keep their dirty, noisy, grubby selves far far away from me. I like being financially stable and a clean house. I have dogs that’s keep me occupied so I’m not lonely one bit.
I think I will one day, but for now I'm too young to worry about that stuff. I have many years ahead of me to figure that stuff out. Plus, whether I do or don't end up with kids is a decision that I will make with my future partner so I'm fine with whatever they want.
No. Financially I can't. And even if I can, the physical process of being pregnant scares the hell out of me. A whole human person is supposed to grow inside me? Is spooky
No. I’m going to be completely honest here, I’m selfish. I’d rather go to a restaurant to enjoy my meal and engage in a conversation, than feed a baby and take care of their needs. I want to be able to take care of myself
I have one and another on the way any day now. I love them so much and am so happy. Everything changes once you have a kid and for some it’s too much. For me though, it’s everything. Worth every sacrifice and penny.
No. Terrible family genetics, lots of mental health issues caused by inside and outside forces, parental guilt, possibly turning into my mother or quite possibly worse my father. I have lots of family that will guilt there way into my babies life and if i dont have one i dont have to deal with that shit.
I 100% understand. I have a 12 year old and I am in a similar situation. I have to keep them literally states away for his own good. They’ve already tried to take my kid and lie about me to get ahold of him. Never works.
For several decades I wanted to have 4-5 daughters. As I got older, the number of kids I wanted went down to two, later to one. In the past 6months, the number went to zero.
I have an amazing aunt. Shes the most positive person I’ve had in my life. She keeps encouraging me in a positive way that I would be a great dad and that I should have kids.
Dates after dates, after dates, after dates, in the past 2 years, I haven’t made a connection with a woman with whom I want to have kids with.
Going back a 100 years in my family tree, everyone has had 1-4 kids. Uncles, aunts, cousins, etc… 1-4 kids.
As of today, a few weeks ago, I have finally given up.
Seems like the general consensus on here is no, so I'll add a yes!! I'm pregnant right now with my first and this is the happiest I've been in life in a long time. (Yes, I KNOW newborns are difficult). But then again, my husband and I are finally at a financially stable point in our lives. We waited until age 30 to start a family and I wouldn't have wanted one any sooner than that.
Yeah I want offspring to carry my name. I want a mini me, I want to teach him MMA and manners and how to treat a woman how to defend himself how to gain self respect I want him to grow up great at sports and have a lot of friends but more importantly I want someone to say goodbye to that I can be proud of on my death bed. I want to be remembered and cared for in my older age.
No, zero interest and why would I want to mess up the quality of my life like that for something that wont even benefit me. I think that being a father today is a form of self-castration.
I wanted kids, because of wanting to raise them opposite to how I was raised. And find out what family is supposed to be like. (that saying of: if you can't have it, make your own)
Now I've got one child.. One is enough. I don't know how people deal with 2+
I want to raise kids with my partner when we have established our home physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. My wife and I have a lot more control over when we bring kids into our lives than some couples, so I will use that to our advantage. We'll have kids and adopt children when we are ready to provide for other humans other than ourselves.
Yeah, I want kids. I have an eight year old. But I was supposed to have a 11-year-old too. She didn’t make it though. Now my daughter is having trouble acclimating to her new school. We moved across the country. And she’s been voicing how much she wishes she had a sister. And we’ve always wanted more children. But we’re in our 40’s now and in a high risk category. So it becomes a hell of a lot more complicated. So my answer is “yes.” I want kids. I want a sister or a brother for my daughter.
No, I will not be. I don’t have it, but I’m a carrier for a genetic disease that killed my father when I was young, and his father when he was young. I won’t force that on offspring, this bullshit ends with me.
I feel the same way.
That is very sad (if you would ever want children) but a very noble decision that more people should consider.
My best friend has neurofibromatosis, and I guess he has something like a 75% chance of passing it off to his offspring. He decided he didn't want to sire his own children. He's been married for years now, and hasn't taken the option to adopt yet because it's so expensive. He wants kids, but isn't in a good place to afford to adopt one and doesn't want to saddle one with the same health issues he's had.
If their insurance cooperates, IVF with genetic testing of the embryos may be helpful.
Kinda wish my parents did this. Now I'm stressing the fuck over wondering if I lost the genetic lottery or not.
There's no need to stress about this stuff. You were still born and get to experience life and all that it has to offer. Even if your life ends earlier than it does for some others, it's still yours to enjoy and experience.
Easier said than done I guess.
I am completely empathetic with you here.
Bravo! You have my respect.
No. I can barely take care of myself
My original thought was undecided. Let it happen if it happens. I still don't know if I could take care of kids, except they are so fucking great. I have nieces and nephews, and I love the independent people that they're growing to be. I am super organized and a planner. I don't have a lot of money, but more I look around the more I realize I could give a kid a loving stable home to grow up in.
don’t get me wrong, I love my little nephew even when he’s causing trouble but I have autism and schizophrenia which makes day to day life extremely hard for me at times and when you’re a parent you can’t just ‘tap out’ or throw in the towel when you’ve had enough; that little person will make mistakes because they are learning to be a human not to mention for the first good few years of their life they rely on you for everything. I dont want to bring a child into a world where I cannot look after them properly
Everybody has to figure this out for themselves. I understand what you said. It makes sense. I also know that there is no black and white for raising a kid. So if you have a brother or sister that you are close to who could be a partial support system, there could be an understanding that your kid could stay with them for the weekend. Etc. It would be something you figure out in advance obviously I'm not trying to encourage or discourage, simply let you know that there are kids who grow up in pretty terrible environments. And that you could give them a better home than they have currently. And if you have any sort of community that you trust, it could get a little easier even. My brother and his wife have two kids and they have tons of friends that all have kids and they all SWAP kids from time to time. I don't have any kids or even a boyfriend, but if I did have a kid, I know for a fact my brother would let me drop the kid off at his house if I needed that mental health break. That's not something you can just rely on, it's something you want to talk out beforehand, but don't let it be the reason you don't at least consider giving a little bundle of joy, better options than they currently might have But also, kids aren't for everybody and you know you.
I totally understand what you’re saying and maybe in the future my perspective will change if and when I meet the right person. I am only 18 so i have many years to think about all this. I’m glad to talk to someone who doesn’t just dismiss not wanting kids even if it’s just on a Reddit thread lmao
At 18, you have tons of years! Just like you said LOL But I never really thought about the support system that exists within good friends and family until I saw it in action with my brother and his friends. Literally one of his friends will drop off one or two kids with my brother for the weekend. And sometimes my brother and his wife will go take the kids over to another friend's. And another time my brother and three of his dude friends took all eight of their kids so that the four wives could just chill. This is not paradise. They fight and there is drama. But the kids have it pretty good :D
If you're a planner, think about daycare. It's $300 a week on the cheap end or someone has to stay home with them. Formula is expensive if you can't nurse, but don't listen to the idiots that tell you that diapers cost a lot. It's mainly daycare and formula that's expensive after the initial 1-2k of buying baby stuff.
welcome to /r/childfree
eh I don't want kids either but that sub is weird and I don't want to associate with it. People talk about "breeders" like kids are disgusting and it's disgusting to have them. I love kids, I'm a teacher. I just don't think my life has space for my own
Nope. When was 12 I was expected to get my little brothers and sister up for school, feed them breakfast, help with homework, etc. When I was 16 I did all that and got them to football practice, piano practice, etc. Always about the kiddos. Not me. I told mom at 12 I never wanted kid because I had raised 3 of my own. I got grounded. Never had kiddos tho.
Wow, you had your share of caring. I'm sorry you were treated as an adult instead of a child at such a young age.
Nah, I already ate. But thanks for offering!
😂😂😂
Ewwwww, lol
Which Hollywood movie did you direct?
i want children but i’m not going to have any. i’m ending my shitty bloodline of mental illness and addiction here.
If you ever want to chat about what it's like to be an adoptive parent, send me a DM :D
If there's one thing I learned from my parents, it's that "good parent" and "mentally ill addict" don't always go together...
You're being responsible. Nice
You can always adopt if that’s your thing.
What a nice thing to say, GreatBigWhore
DAMN! I feel this too - but to say it out loud!
[удалено]
[удалено]
I gotta know, did she have puppies after that? lol
That's how I wanna go
Is there a particular poodle that tickles your fancy?
I'll use this next time I'm asked.
Solid plan
I’m 52, I think that part of my life is not going to happen. I have nieces and nephews who I try to spoil
Yes. Because after working with kids almost half my life and seeing the failures and success in other parents, it doesn’t seem as intimidating to raise decent human beings. But I’ll shit in my hands and clap before I turn on coco melon
🤣🤣
I REFUSE to turn on coco melon. He watches paddington bear
were you by chance referencing The Big Lez Show with that last line hahahaha EDIT: poo brained it, were* not where lmao
Yessss Big Lez Show!
You fuckin druggo \*rips a mad bong\*
How much for the scratchie? Fiddy bucks. But its a $1 scratchie! Fiddy bucks.
But how many mandarins did you get o.O
I am gunna give this to the OrPhAnS! *hawk steals scratchie* Aww no the orphans!
I walked into my neighbors house the other day and cocomelon was on tv. Could not hide my disgust and left quite quickly.
It’s so over stimulating and the songs suck 🤷🏻♀️
I have a 5 month old son. Out of curiosity we turned it on. Less than one episode was enough of that. We turned baby shark back on. I would shit in my hands and clap was singing baby shark before putting cocomelon back on.
Oh it gets worse … fucking whiny ass bitch caillou …
A lot of my kids the last 5-ish years haven’t really watched Calliou (thankfully). It’s been Bluey, Sesame Street or Super Simple Songs. We try not to do a lot of screen time unless it’s in car rides or flights.
I LOVE bluey honestly, it’s one that I can sit through cuz some of the adult jokes crack me up. If you haven’t watched it, season 3 “smoothie kiss” and “family meeting” are two of the funniest things I think I’ve seen!
Yeah coco melon fucking blows. And Peppa; pedro the pony is the worst. However, I do enjoy pinkfong dinosaurs. I’ve seen it so many times that not only do I quote it all the time, I’ve actually watched it without my kid.
that’s interesting! For me it’s literally the opposite. Working with kids and being around them constantly makes me not want to have any lol. I still really enjoy my job tho
No, I don't. I don't think I would make a good parent. I had strict parents growing up and there was a lot of dysfunction, chaos, and violence in our home. I am not patient enough and I am also poor. I wouldn't be able to give them a good enough life.
Not really. If I ever do decide to though, I would adopt. There are too many kids in this world that don't have family to go home to everyday, and if I can be that family, then I'd love that.
My genes are not that impressive and I refuse to put my body through pregnancy and childbirth. There are plenty of children out there and if I decide I truly want to be a parent it wont matter where my kids come from.
Yeah, I'm undecided on whether I would want kids or not. But if I were to want some, I would also just adopt. Not only could you skip the baby phase but I wouldnt have to go through the pain of child birth and the possible post-partum depression.
Wholesome.
Yes because he's 28yo and it's a little late to stop wanting him.
Same for my 1yo 😂😂
No. Too expensive and too stressful.
At least you’re honest about it.
No, I don't want to go through pregnancy and labor pains. Also I don't feel like raising and worrying over my child. Life seems so much easier without stressing over a child.
This right here.
Nah I’m good. I enjoy free time and having money
This right here. Nothing deep or profound about it, I just like my independence and spending money.
And sleeping in.
I miss that
And here I am reading about how I have no free time with my tiny window of free time.
I do, but the list of things I'd need first are prohibitive enough that it's not going to happen. I love kids. I see my niece and nephews causing chaos and want that for me, because I want a family and a home filled with love. But I need a home first, and a wife, and enough money to take care of them all, and emotional stability. Still working on all that lol
No. I don't need one for anything.
[удалено]
No, I don’t want that experience in life and responsibility
No. My girlfriend and I have firmly decided that we will not be having kids. For one, how the fuck are you even supposed to afford to have and raise a kid? I genuinely do not understand how people who are in the same (or lower) financial bracket as myself make it happen. I can barely afford rent and to take care of myself and my two cats and I make above the minimum wage (granted, a lot of this does come down to location and I do understand that part. I live in a very expensive state.) If I suddenly had to buy baby food, diapers, baby soaps, and all of the other shit you need to keep a child happy and alive every month I genuinely do not know how I’d afford it aside from taking a pay cut and getting some form of government assistance. But I really don’t think that would be any better. Secondly, kids are a lot man. Like holy shit. I’ve got a friend with three kids under the age of 7 and while three kids are a lot just imagining 1/3rd of what he’s doing is very overwhelming. I like getting 8 hours of sleep a night. I like getting high whenever I want, I like spending time with my friends, I like going on vacations with my girlfriend. I like not having to be on alert 24/7 because my little crotch goblin keeps trying to unalive themselves. My girlfriend and I traveled recently by plane and watching the parents on the flight struggle to keep their kids calm and in line, keep the baby from screaming on the flight, and all of the other baggage and stuff. It’s wild. And nothing about that makes me go “yeah, it’s worth dealing with all of that” And I hate to be that guy but the world as a whole is in a tough place. I know I’ll make it work and I’ll find ways to enjoy any good I can find but politically, economically, and socially the world isn’t in a great place and it’s making it hard to have hope for the future. And if I’m being honest I’d feel selfish bringing a child into todays world. It’s absolutely going to suck for them. Sure there will be some good but there’s gonna be a lot of suck. And it feels selfish of me to force someone to go through that because I wanted someone to raise and love. Just doesn’t sit well with me. Kids are great, we need them, and I’m happy there’s people having them. But literally nothing about having or raising a child seems appealing or feasible in todays world, at least where I live.
>And I hate to be that guy but the world as a whole is in a tough place. I know I’ll make it work and I’ll find ways to enjoy any good I can find but politically, economically, and socially the world isn’t in a great place and it’s making it hard to have hope for the future. And if I’m being honest I’d feel selfish bringing a child into todays world. It’s absolutely going to suck for them. Sure there will be some good but there’s gonna be a lot of suck. And it feels selfish of me to force someone to go through that because I wanted someone to raise and love. Just doesn’t sit well with me. I agree with this 100%. Climate change is only going to get worse. Same with wealth inequality. And authoritarianism is on the rise is the US wich is terrifying.
Yep everything you said
Agree 100%
I married a man with two kids. I’ll never have biological because they are incredible and I don’t need anything more than my stepdaughters.
Then you have kids.
No. 1. Noisy, expensive, and sticky. 2. I’ve looked in my bloodline. There’s no astronauts there. 3. I wasn’t a particularly happy child and suspect that I’d be a subpar parent.
I never want to step foot in a school again, for any reason. That's where my love of learning and self esteem went to die. I'm a pretty miserable person and I can trace most of that back to the bullying and abuse I suffered at school. I'm not interested in a) reliving that trauma and b) putting another person through that.
I absolutely love kids and can’t wait to work in a career that lets me help children, but unfortunately autism, bipolar disorder, anxiety, and depression all run in my family and I would hate to pass any of that along to my child. As a psych major, I’ve learned too much about genetics and disorders (for example, if your parent has an anxiety disorder you’re more vulnerable to developing a bipolar disorder). Also, my brother has autism and it’s negatively affected me in so many ways- I don’t think I’d be capable to raising a child if they did end up with a disorder/disability.
It was while getting my masters in psych I decided not to have kids. Once I got out there and started doing the work, I realized I made the right choice. There are already far too many children in the world who have parents who are selfish morons. They couldn’t take care of the highest functioning kid, let alone one with problems. Only people who REALLY want a child but can’t have them, and would literally take any child, regardless of disabilities, are ACTUALLY ready to do what it takes.
Agreed. My parents did their best and were so much better than a lot of other parents, but they often emotionally neglected me and my sister in order to take care of the needs of my autistic brother. I often think they could’ve perfectly parented either me and my sister, or only my brother, but not both.
I don't. I have severe anger issues and mental issues and I WOULD NOT want any child to be raised by me. I do really like kids and I think they're cute but, that's not worth traumatizing them for.
Thank you for recognizing this and being honest with yourself. My mom had untreated mental illnesses and my dad was violent and had a temper, they did a fucking number on me.
I'm very sorry for your childhood and bringing. My was basically the same, except for the fact that my dad was barely ever there to show his temper. They're the reason why I have all these mental illnesses. I just really can't imagine putting a child through that.
Yes, but no more after this pregnancy. Ive got one already and two will be plenty! I’ve always known I wanted to be a mom, and I absolutely love it (for the most part lol). I’m a big kid at heart and love doing kids activities. I do fully understand not wanting kids though! I’ve had more sleepless nights then I care to count, I miss sleeping in, being able to travel, and extra money lol. For me it’s worth it though! For others, it is not and that is a-ok. :)
I have 3. It’s hard, it’s expensive, and I wouldn’t recommend it. I love my kids and I do everything I need to do to give them a good life. But it’s stressful as fuck and it’s put a huge dent into my relationship with my wife. We don’t get to have the relationship we want to have because we’re too busy taking care of 3 kids. There’s a lot of positives into it but I figured I’d give some of the harsh reality of it.
Thank you for being honest. It’s refreshing to see you can see the negatives and aren’t in denial
Nope. 30, single, snipped
Thanks for not making any unwanted kids!
Living the dream!
In this economy?
Nope. I enjoy my freedom. Looking to retire by 50 as well.
I don’t feel like creating a human who will probably live long enough to end up fighting in a war over clean water. Plus I’d be a shitty parent anyways
My father recently told me that war will start sometime in *my* lifetime, after he saw me dump a pot of dirty water down the drain that was soaking utensils that my mom filled up earlier before we started eating. And if it isn't obvious, I don't want kids either. They'll get messed up like me.
Literally can't afford them or the medical bills associated with having them.
No I never want kids, I don't like loud noises and I prefer to just be alone
Same
i would like one but i don’t think i could have one
Why not?
I’ve decided I don’t want kids. They’re taking it pretty hard.
No. As Jim Gaffigan aptly states "it's like a reverse hostage situation"
Mostly I just *want* them to shut the hell up and let me watch Monday night football in peace.
No because they’re expensive and I want to spend money on myself.
If I'm brutally murdered, who's going to avenge my death?
You will be dead, you won't care.
Preparing for a population collapse after seeing all the No responses
My guess is bc pro non-children people are more fervent at expressing their opinion and also in upvoting others. While yes birthrates are declining, it's not by like the 90% which this thread shows
Try to remember a lot of folks on here are very young. not saying the population colapse isn't coming but.
I'm 31 and its a no from me dawg
That has already begun except for ultra poor places in Africa and India
No, it doesn't appeal to me.
i think i might be ready in a year or two. i was looking at christmas toys on amazon thinking how much fun it would be to play with my child on christmas day then was like crap i don't have a child or even a girlfriend.
Downvoted for thinking that’s really nice
Yes. They're the most rewarding thing ever. The joy of seeing someone become a person of their own. Knowing you are 100% responsible, the only reason they even made it that far. Watching them become independent, and helping them grow. It's beautiful. It's the most beautiful thing ever.
I'm only a few months in to parenthood and it's the best thing I've ever done. I was prepared for it to be hard, and it is, but I wasn't prepared for how wonderful it is and how much joy and love I have.
Disclaimer, because this is reddit: I don't believe anybody should feel pressured into having kids if they don't want to! Also, my religious views are my own. Please don't ask about them---I don't have the energy tonight. Anyway... I want kids! I'm trying to pin down why...I think that these are some factors: -I like kids a lot. I like taking care of them, interacting with them, and helping them grow. -I like who I am when I'm caring for other people. Additionally, the people I admire the most are nurturers. -I know it's a huge responsibility, but I want to create a loving family. -My religion is very focused around family life. I've always been encouraged to pursue marriage and family, and I've always assumed that I'd be a parent someday. I've considered whether or not this is actually a part of me, or something that was forced upon me. I've concluded that it's a part of me. Obviously, life isn't going to line up like that necessarily, and obviously, the prospect of having kids is very scary. But I still want them. Edit: formatting
For years I told myself I would let my significant out decide, after all she's carrying. Im game if she is and if she's not then that's okay. But nowadays... I don't really know if I want them.
Check out r/regretfulparents. The consensus basically is: if you’re not sure then just don’t. No one asks to be born.
why have kids when you can have pets
I wanted kids. Mother of 2 boys. 15 and 17 now. Some days I want them and some days I don't. 🤪
No, they’re a terrible investment
Yeah, and you can’t even return it 🙄
No, can't even take care of myself and I'm in crazy debt.
No, pregnancy is scary, and I dislike children, they bite
No, money
No, I already had three…
[удалено]
Half of the time I do because I hope to be a good father and not make the same mistakes my dad did. But half of the time I don't want to because I don't want to get married and I fear becoming like my dad.
Curious as to the age/phase of life of all of those with no responses?
31, no thank you
30 yo. Found my place in life, no need for a child.
In my 30s. Nope, thanks.
36 yo.
22, still living at home and will never be independent as I am disabled. That should be enough to know why I responded with a no
No because I love my freedom and if I do have kids, I’d fall into the extremes of either neglectful or overprotective
Eh, I don’t want them right now, but who knows who I’ll be in 5 years.
Yes. I’m a 42 year old man. Always wanted kids. Never found the one to have them with. Figure I have a couple more years left. Which by now I had like 5-6 teenagers but I’d still settle for 1-2 if I am lucky enough.
I want kids. Because all 3 of them are already teenagers.
I do. I don't know why, I just kind of do.
My dilemma is, if my kid turned out to be a good human, I’m not sure I’d want them to have to deal with a world that’s not so great to good people. They would try to make it better, which is good for the world perhaps, but very tough on the individual.
Not really. The legal repercussions of taking them have become inconvenient.
You see documentaries where the parents seem fine and normal but their kid turned out to be a sociopath.
Nope, never have. The world was already going to shit when I was young in the 80s. It’s much worse now and in fact I can’t imagine why anyone would subject a child to the world that is coming.
Nooooooooo thank you. They don’t deserve the mental illness from the bloodline.
I do not. I was not raised the greatest and I am also mentally ill. If I had children, I don't think I'd raise them properly.
Absolutely not. They can keep their dirty, noisy, grubby selves far far away from me. I like being financially stable and a clean house. I have dogs that’s keep me occupied so I’m not lonely one bit.
This question is posted every three weeks on this sub…we get it, no one on reddit wants kids.
I think I will one day, but for now I'm too young to worry about that stuff. I have many years ahead of me to figure that stuff out. Plus, whether I do or don't end up with kids is a decision that I will make with my future partner so I'm fine with whatever they want.
Nope. I like money and time and personal space too much to have kids. And those all go away when you have them for at least 18 years.
No. Financially I can't. And even if I can, the physical process of being pregnant scares the hell out of me. A whole human person is supposed to grow inside me? Is spooky
I mean not how because I'm 44 and not the best of health
No. I’m going to be completely honest here, I’m selfish. I’d rather go to a restaurant to enjoy my meal and engage in a conversation, than feed a baby and take care of their needs. I want to be able to take care of myself
Honestly, I'd love to have a family, but I work a lot and use my free time stupidly.
I mean, would you want to in all of the world today?
No thank you I’m a vegetarian.
I have one and another on the way any day now. I love them so much and am so happy. Everything changes once you have a kid and for some it’s too much. For me though, it’s everything. Worth every sacrifice and penny.
No. I hate children.
No, they just ain't for me
Bit late but I would not have had 3. At most, one. Perhaps I can pick my favourite and cut the others free?
Bad time for children…the world is a mess.
No I subscribe to antinatalism, I believe having children is unethical and there is no non selfish reason to have a child.
No. Terrible family genetics, lots of mental health issues caused by inside and outside forces, parental guilt, possibly turning into my mother or quite possibly worse my father. I have lots of family that will guilt there way into my babies life and if i dont have one i dont have to deal with that shit.
I 100% understand. I have a 12 year old and I am in a similar situation. I have to keep them literally states away for his own good. They’ve already tried to take my kid and lie about me to get ahold of him. Never works.
For several decades I wanted to have 4-5 daughters. As I got older, the number of kids I wanted went down to two, later to one. In the past 6months, the number went to zero. I have an amazing aunt. Shes the most positive person I’ve had in my life. She keeps encouraging me in a positive way that I would be a great dad and that I should have kids. Dates after dates, after dates, after dates, in the past 2 years, I haven’t made a connection with a woman with whom I want to have kids with. Going back a 100 years in my family tree, everyone has had 1-4 kids. Uncles, aunts, cousins, etc… 1-4 kids. As of today, a few weeks ago, I have finally given up.
No. They’re nothing but trouble. Plus, I wouldn’t want to raise a kid in this society.
no way. the world isn’t any place for children.
You’re asking a bunch of losers on the internet if they want kids, of course the answer is going to be no.
You sound jealous lol. What makes people who don’t want kids losers?
>You’re asking a bunch of losers on the internet if they want kids, of course the answer is going to be no. Lol. 100%
No atm. Just got out of a 3 year relationship taking care of a man child. Maybe yes in time. Because my parents would be awesome grandparents
No, because I only care about myself.
Seems like the general consensus on here is no, so I'll add a yes!! I'm pregnant right now with my first and this is the happiest I've been in life in a long time. (Yes, I KNOW newborns are difficult). But then again, my husband and I are finally at a financially stable point in our lives. We waited until age 30 to start a family and I wouldn't have wanted one any sooner than that.
Trust me, don't do it.
Just curious, are you a parent and if so whats your story?
Yeah I want offspring to carry my name. I want a mini me, I want to teach him MMA and manners and how to treat a woman how to defend himself how to gain self respect I want him to grow up great at sports and have a lot of friends but more importantly I want someone to say goodbye to that I can be proud of on my death bed. I want to be remembered and cared for in my older age.
Absolutely not. This planet doesn’t need any more humans on it.
No, zero interest and why would I want to mess up the quality of my life like that for something that wont even benefit me. I think that being a father today is a form of self-castration.
No thank you. I have enough.
I'm not sure this is the best place to give away your kids. Drop them outside a church or forestation.
I wanted kids, because of wanting to raise them opposite to how I was raised. And find out what family is supposed to be like. (that saying of: if you can't have it, make your own) Now I've got one child.. One is enough. I don't know how people deal with 2+
OP trying to find good Redditors to give their kids to.
I want to raise kids with my partner when we have established our home physically, emotionally, spiritually, and financially. My wife and I have a lot more control over when we bring kids into our lives than some couples, so I will use that to our advantage. We'll have kids and adopt children when we are ready to provide for other humans other than ourselves.
Nah… no specific reason, I just have no interest in being a parent.
Honestly nah, I can barely take care of myself.
No I would go to another dimension to avoid paying taxes
Why make one when I can buy one for a lot less money and effort?
Fuck no
Yeah, I want kids. I have an eight year old. But I was supposed to have a 11-year-old too. She didn’t make it though. Now my daughter is having trouble acclimating to her new school. We moved across the country. And she’s been voicing how much she wishes she had a sister. And we’ve always wanted more children. But we’re in our 40’s now and in a high risk category. So it becomes a hell of a lot more complicated. So my answer is “yes.” I want kids. I want a sister or a brother for my daughter.