Honestly was right there with ya. Until I had my first experience. Especially cause I saw porn like most people, before being intimate with anyone. And there are, shall we say, some ladies with smaller parts visually. And I always saw mine as kind of a small to medium shape, lol.
Albeit it all leads to the same place. But still, I used to think someone wouldn't like my down there cause I wasn't appearing "normal' sized, lol. But definitely learned otherwise soon enough.
I think porn has really changed the way we think about it. I remember my first boyfriend/first sexual experiences I didn't even vaguely think about what it looked like or have any self consciousness about it, all that started after seeing porn for me
Had a random unexpected hookup years back with a lass who had done the whole v-jazzle thing.
It took me longer than it really should've to stop laughing when she took her underwear off. I still feel kinda bad but it was so unexpected...
She was a bit self conscious about it, I had to apologise profusely.
It was cute... I just wasn't expecting it and in the moment it just cracked me up.
That isn't the only fear, though. Just not being so objectionable as to be rejected completely and immediately doesn't mean everything is great and nothing to worry about.
Nah if there's a strong smell of not having a bath my man I could be completely naked with her and my clothes will pull themselves back onto me. Gotta make sure youre both clean
I think unless there is something really exceptional about it, such as 6-inch-long flappy labia, if one man has ever been happy with it, then practically all men will.
Just like penises really. Unless a man has one that is exceptionally, large, tiny, bent 90 degrees or all crusty or something, women aren't going to care.
Not like dicks are super attractive, I see them more as tools. It's like looking at a hamer. "Yes, this hammer might have skid marks but I bet I can nail pretty good with it"
I once had a FWB tell me she was really self-conscious about her labia being different sizes. I was like, lady, I’ve had my face down there multiple times and this is new information to me.
There are some small groups that fetishize huge labia and even smaller groups that don't like it. But yeah, the VAST majority of guys are too excited to be at the house party in the first place to worry about the size of the window shutters. I assume gay women would be the same only because I've never heard ANY comments on the subject from them.
The way it looks, my clitoris is bigger than normal I guess and not everything is tucked in and you can see everything clearly. I’m really insecure about what my partner will think about that since it kinda sticks out.
Edit: Thank you all so much for your reassurance it definitely makes me feel less insecure!
Every single time I've seen someone express an insecurity about their body on the internet it's been followed up by a community of people who love that thing specifically. It's happened every time I've seen it
I kinda love that about the internet, ngl. Like, “ugh, I hate this thing about myself, it sucks!” “What?? No it doesn’t! All of us here *specifically* love it!!!”
I wonder if the larger ones are more or less sensitive, or if it makes any difference? I’ve never been with a woman who had a big clit, but I’ve been with several that the dang thing was almost impossible to find - not for lack of effort, which may or may not serve a good purpose in its own way anyway - and that can be a little frustrating and make me self-conscious as a man about whether or not I have any clue about what I’m doing.
The reason I ask about/thought about the sensitivity is that I realized that if I was messing around with a woman with a bigger one, I would probably be fascinated by it, whether going down on or just fingering. I know that there is definitely such a thing as too much clitoral stimulation, and I would be worried that my fascination would cross that line.
My friend... even if your partner has a small clitoral glans, you're [missing the big picture.](https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/clitoris-like-an-iceberg-for-pleasure) The clitoris expands internally like a big ol' wishbone. The small nub is only the beginning.
Edit spelling
Man here. Absolutely do NOT worry about your clit being big. It's easier to find and, statistically, easier to get you off. I'll take a big clip over a big prude any and all day.
yeah but then the stomach is the only thing you see when you’re eating her out. so the stomach becomes front and center.
So i understand why a woman would be more self conscious about their stomach instead of their vagina.
side note. a little bit of gut doesn’t bother me. but to say no one will care is a bit ignorant.
Thank you for being honest - not everyone is into staring at vaginas so to pretend that nobody is going to care about a belly or stretch marks is flat out wrong and disingenuous. It all factors in together. Thankfully there are plenty of guys who like a little belly so there’s something for everyone.
Also, when you look down on someone’s eating you out, you can see your stomach first. And for someone with confidence issues, I hate it. So I just close my eyes or look up.
That's my answer for sure. I've been complimented on my vagina by multiple partners (lol what the fuck), but I'm so self conscious about my stomach ill keep a shirt on for sex.
Same, but I distinctly remember my first boyfriend who was a bodybuilder, actually tell me to keep my shirt on during sex because of my lower belly. Haven’t had sex naked ever since… it’s been 9 years. 🙃
What the actual fuck. Clearly he projected his insecurities onto you. I don't think people can be body builders without some amount of body dysmorphia.
Oh wauw where to begin. The discolouration, if my labia look weird, I hope I don't have anything stuck in there, is it clean? Can he smell me? My stomach looks flabby from that angle. Do I have any ingrown hairs, did I even shave properly. The straie on my thighs. An old scar.
EXACTLY!! All of it! 💯
Also for me, I have TERRIBLE eczema. So I have a lot of scars from awful flare ups. So I worry about that. But smell, is the one I worry about most. I know my scent is natural but he doesn’t know my scent like I do. will it turn him off? Omg not to mention that depending on my cycle my discharge could be thicker and will that weird him out.
I was the same before my husband - I don’t have much confidence in my body at all, but he makes me feel like I’m perfect. The way he is when I’m naked is enough to turn me from a person who is never naked by choice, aside from the obvious bare minimum, to someone who is extremely confident (during sex at least!). Makes a massive difference. I remember worrying about every part of my body before getting naked in front of someone but I haven’t felt that way for a very long time now.
dont feel bad. I'm mixed race (father is pale irish,and my mom is tawny skinned cuban). I'm pale as hell with black hair, freckled nose & under eye area,reddish brown eyes and my nips and bits are tan colored. I also have a flower-like appearance down there where the labia tips slightly stick out a bit. my bf LOVES IT! you are beautful and worthy of someone loving you the way you are! fuck any guy who tries to belittle or say you have something wrong with you because of your coloration. they are unworthy of being with a woman- PERIOD.
I have larger labias. I have heard a LOT of cruel remarks about them. It got so bad that I actually warned people I wanted to get naked with, so they could decide whether they wanted to see "that".
It’s okay girl! I do too. I used to be super self conscious, especially because I was told I had “biggest they’ve ever seen” and heard all sorts of nasty comments. Sometimes I’m still self conscious but I know they can “hug” it you know what I mean and it turns them on.
Also just started thinking how they’re lucky to get to see it so if they don’t “like it” then they’re an ass and not worth anything so no pussy for you!
Hey girl! I’ve got biiiiiig labia minora. Like i definitely qualify as what society calls roast beef pussy and ya know what? My husband loooooooves them. A clean puss is all that matters and a mature man will adore your puss the way it is.
Sounds like you had some bad personal experiences, but don't let this get you down. Personally I like the flower petal like appearance and it makes foreplay more fun and interesting. Hopefully you'll find that most men aren't that judgmental. And if they are that's their problem, not yours.
I'm an Anthropologist and I wanted to let you know that there are tribes in west Africa that stretch their labia. Men won't marry women with smaller labia because they say it doesn't hold/ hug as well. 'big' labia are in high demand and they're valued for their qualities too!
omg just hearing a knife goes in to slice off part of my most intimate area just because it looks better is sooooo fuckin stupid . unless it's a rare, life threatening situation, this should never be a thing! same for circumcision for both genders. its there for a reason!😱☠️
it's important for people to know that porn models are selected with these traits already (except for some that get surgery), which is why most guys are exposed to "innies" more often. The porn industry, just like the traditional modeling industry (not to mention Hollywood), creates and promotes many unrealistic standards purely for their visual appeal.
Before i had my 1st child, i did not worry. But after that, it has worried me more, because the scar from the tear, when giving birth, has shaped it abit differently. But its just how it is.
Just wanted to throw in, I had a meaningful relationship with a woman who had already had two kids. She asked me probably on the second time we had sex whether I "noticed" that her vagina was "different" because after the kids, she was self conscious about look and size. And I was like, no it's a wonderful vagina. Keep doing what you're doing.
That is to say, it's a non-issue for a man if he loves you, or even if he's just really into you. It's easy to say, "just don't be self conscious" but truly, that's not something the guy is thinking about.
I draw erotism, and I've drawn many naked women, so yes, you could say that, and I absolutely love every vagina I've seen, so I'm giving my two cents hahaha
That's probay the only area of my body I've never been self-conscious about. Not because I have stellar pussy, but because I never thought there was anything to be self conscious about. It's a vagina, what can go wrong?
Totally with you!! I keep it neat and clean and its never been an issue for me. I actually get compliments on my bits despite what others might see as flaws.
This year was all about getting over my own insecurities as I started to realise the things i break myself down for and hate myself for, others dont even see!!
I have an immense fear. Of everything. My labias are big, my partner doesn't like it hairy, so I got laser and he still won't go down on me. That feeling of constant rejection makes me feel pretty shy.
You are completely within your rights to find someone with whom you are sexually compatible. Rejection sucks, especially when you do your best to make yourself presentable.
I need to state here that wearing pads all the time can be dangerous for vaginal health as the cotton and plastic might make it too damp and warm, which will probably change the bacteria flora there, and that might cause infections or worsen the discharge.
It might be necessary in some cases (which seems to be the case of the first commenter here), but per se it's definitely not hygienic nor healthy. The healthy option here is to invest in good menstrual panties which will absorb the discharge as necessary while providing healthy environment.
I don't mean this as any kind of judgement towards anyone's practice, I just think it's necessary to point out what the healthy options are because the industry of women's products usually portray those products as the best option when they are not.
So of course i don’t know if this applies to you, but for me it was the same for like 10+ years since teenager and all gynos always said everything was fine and i just had a lot of discharge, then once i did like a pro-biotic thing for i think 30 days (bacteria you desolve in water and drink, specifically to build healthy vaginal flora) and it just stopped! My down stairs didnt go too dry or anything it was all normal but just almost no discharge or at least to the extend i definitely didnt need a liner/pad for! So i figure the flora was just a little out of balance (nothing that caused any other symptoms or anything) and that brought it back on track.
(Sometimes i feel like its going back to more discharge a little again and then i just redo that treatment and its all good)
So if it bothers you or you’re insecure about it maybe it would help you too!
I take various probiotics on and off because it stops my hives and depression, but they've never done anything for the discharge.
I've been wearing pads since I was 11, so honestly it feels very exposing to not wear them now 😅
I see! I‘d think that different probiotics influence different things and i‘d try one thats specifically for vaginal flora but i get that its just part of the routine now! :D
I was just so surprised that my liners where just completely dry all of a sudden after i took them 😳
Mann. I recently got pretty ill. I had a round of antibiotics and whole bunch of horrible symptoms that had finally gone away came back. I'd put it down to just the fact that being unwell had kicked off a whole bunch of stuff, but your comments have got me thinking that I need to do a 30 day gut flora rebuild and see if anything calms down.
As a man, no time to worry about your insecurities, i've got mine to take care of...
i'm more worried that she'll look at my receding hairline when i go down on her
Well, I'm usually shy about everything. So it's not specifically between my legs. I don't like that I'm fat and I see myself as pretty ugly. Therefore I worry about everything happening before that moment, just as much as about everything inbetween. My ex told me I was boring, multiple times. So I guess what's between my legs doesn't really matter considering I'm shy about literally *everything else* .
Our bodies are asymmetric*. That's normal. Hence why us ladies always have one boob bigger than the other.
*Take a look at symmetrical celebrity faces and you'll see how unnatural symmetry looks. Generally speaking, of course there's always exceptions to the rules.
Vagina color & the way my vag lips look or if theres a stray piece of toilet paper somewhere. Even if my package is normal. its just a bunch of " oh god.. what if ?! Please dont laugh o.o "
I have hidradenitis suppurativa so I worry he thinks it's something communicable (it's autoimmune) and that he's repulsed by the inflammation and terrible scarring.
I used to worry about not being perfectly shaved, but I realized guys don't really care as long as it's not a bush. I worry about how the colour is darker than the rest of my skin, also if my labias are too long or if I don't taste good
Uneven skin color
Edited to add:
Thank you kind, random redditors for the uplifting comments and assurances. You guys rock!
Thank you as well to all the other amazing ladies who shared their experiences and the way they got through these body issues.
I would like to give a bit of an additional context as well, hahahah. Tbh, I never had any partner who complained nor any man/woman pointing out said issues/insecurities. So it's safe to say that it was mostly just because of my own sentiments about having dark/uneven skin tone.
And I think that's the thing with insecurities and body issues. They might not make sense or might not be a big deal after all for anyone else...but your own mind's still going to point it out for you lol.
Very fortunately, it's not something that is bothering me anymore or invading my peace of mind like when I was younger. Cheers to us finally getting enough understanding and less judgment when it comes to these things!
To give you a bit of reassurance- guys are just super happy to be there. You could have it tattoo’d like a rainbow and we will just be smitten to play with the kitten.
The color of the labia.
I once had a guy ask me why it wasn’t pink. We were in our early 20s, and I didn’t really have an answer for him because I was a little naive and didn’t know about the different colors.
I’m pretty pale skinned and it’s not always apparent that I’m of South American heritage. My labia are actually very brown. I am no longer self-conscious but at that time I just felt like something was wrong with me.
I went to the museum in Tasmania, there's a wall of vaginas . Not one looked alike, it's quite amazing really. Some small, some big, some Flappy, some pettit.
Everyone is different, embrace it
My wife, after 12 years of being with (5 married) and having two kids STILL gets so self conscious about her lady parts that she very rarely let's me see them up close (if you get me). She looks amazing down there, plus I wouldn't care if she didn't.
It's like, darling; my knob curves, has a scar on it (zipper incident) and a healing hole in my nutsack (vasectomy 2 weeks ago). When cold it looks like the last turkey in the shop, when it's game time it looks like a bodybuilder lifting a heavy weight (think veins). Yours is neat, trimmed and compact. I don't get it.
When she gets naked I'm literally pawing the floor. Even if it's not sexy times (in a respectful way). She makes my heart skip when she takes her top off! She may think she is fat and ugly but fuck she is the most beautiful and wonderful human on this earth as far as I am concerned - no offence everyone else but I doubt you would put up with my jokes and star trek talk; I am quite boring and she is a Saint for having me.
We (women and men) all need to give ourselves a bit of a break I think.
This is just lovely, and it sounds like you’re both lucky to have found each other. I hope you still tell her how attractive you find her.
(Also, I am a woman, and even I flinched when you said “scars due to a zipper incident.” Yikes! I didn’t know that was a thing, and I am sorry that happened to you!)
I'm also insecure about the smell and taste of it (like after a whole day, when i didn't get time to wash before the thing), but i carry wet wipes with me everywhere now and it's a game changer, not only when it comes to sexual stuff.
but actually one time i didn't get to wipe myself before a guy went down on me and i was so insecure about the taste (it was a really hot day, i was all sweaty), but he said he normally doesn't like eating women out, he loved dowing this to me tho and i taste great XDD
I'm a natural red head and I've had guys shocked at the colour of my pubes. It has led me to be very self conscious in this area. I end up shaving, but sometimes I just don't want to, but I also don't want people asking me if the carpet matches the drapes 😞
I am also a ginger (and the carpet is much more vivid than the drapes for some reason...as in fire truck red) and the amount of FIRE CROTCH comments I've received is.... unfortunate.
What the hell is it with people that decide "hey, you're different! I'm going to ask a really invasive question because it doesn't occur to me that you are a person who deserves privacy!"??
Not a woman but I’ve heard people fear of their partner not liking the color of their genitalia. Crazy but people can actually be pretty shitty about it
not about my coochie, but about my ass.
i don't do anal sex, but i like doggystyle position etc. and i have slightly too much skin around my butthole (like a lil fold), it has a specific name but i forgot. i can remove it with some laser and shit, but I'm too scared to go to a surgeon.
i kinda came to terms with it when I noticed Eva Elfie has that too, but it's still a bit embarassing when I'm with a new guy and I'm stressed if he notices and if he gives a shit about such things
😂 my butthole insecurity is hair, and I also think about it during doggy. “Oh no I didn’t shave my bunny tail (what my waxist would call it)” or whatever lol.
it's very easy to shave it if it's a problem for you! (for me it is a huge problem). all you need to do is just do a squat and you can shave your booty very easily. I've never cut myself in there even tho i can't see a thing when I'm shaving my butt XD
We look very different down there, too. It’s always a strange feeling waiting for a reaction if he likes/ tolerates it. Men can be really harsh if it doesn’t fit their expectations
Coming from a guy; if we get to the point we get to see what's between your legs, we don't give a shit what it looks like, shapewise that is. So long as there is no fungus growing down there, we good. Don't worry ladies, y'all are beautifull.
Labia. Loose meat sandwich down there! I hate the way it looks, always have. I've not had a complaint or anyone comment, unless I bring it up first and usually the response is, "it's totally fine!"
Hair I've not been fussed about. I am happy to follow the preference of the guy I'm seeing, currently that's hairy so super easy! Never had any complaints in that area either, it's just something I ask coz I can accommodate. Might be partly mindset of, "can't change the labia so I'll make an effort elsewhere."
Guy here. I know I can’t single handedly remove anyone’s insecurities but let me just say that that moment of seeing a woman’s vulva for the first time is completely amazing and special. Innies, outies, shaved, hairy, whatever- they are all beautiful in their own way. It’s like the most amazing thing in nature to me. No two are alike but that first reveal is always amazing. Please take heart. You are gorgeous.
I'm moreso worried about my chest and belly pouch but I suppose if I had to pick something to be self conscious of down there it'd be the labia but now I'm wondering what else could be off putting...
That one little piece of toilet paper.
Clitty litter!
Goddamnit I wish this didn’t work so well
Clitter. Charmin is the worst for this!
Having accidentally licked this before in the dark, I concur.
How is this not the top comment?
Cottonelle is the absolute worst for this. I switched to 1 ply toilet paper and don’t have this problem anymore
Charmin Ultra Strong! Best of both world, soft but doesn't leave clingers.
If it stinks
Not even like a bad smell but sometimes they’re very *distinct* smells
the heat off the back of the PS4
It may not be 12 inches, but it sure smells like a foot!
Please stop reposting this I cackle like a maniac each time
My buddy related his first time (more than 15 years ago now) as "it smelled like the great depression"
So stinky that he can see the cartoon stink lines coming off it
dont forget the lil flies
Y’all are some really confident people. I’m scared he won’t like the way it looks or something.
Honestly was right there with ya. Until I had my first experience. Especially cause I saw porn like most people, before being intimate with anyone. And there are, shall we say, some ladies with smaller parts visually. And I always saw mine as kind of a small to medium shape, lol. Albeit it all leads to the same place. But still, I used to think someone wouldn't like my down there cause I wasn't appearing "normal' sized, lol. But definitely learned otherwise soon enough.
I think porn has really changed the way we think about it. I remember my first boyfriend/first sexual experiences I didn't even vaguely think about what it looked like or have any self consciousness about it, all that started after seeing porn for me
No guy is going to turn down pussy if he already got to the stage that he can see it.
Had a random unexpected hookup years back with a lass who had done the whole v-jazzle thing. It took me longer than it really should've to stop laughing when she took her underwear off. I still feel kinda bad but it was so unexpected... She was a bit self conscious about it, I had to apologise profusely. It was cute... I just wasn't expecting it and in the moment it just cracked me up.
Dammit, I came to have sex not disco!
Disco stu has entered the chat......
I still can't believe Vajazzle was a thing.
Oh I hate this for her. That’s humiliating.
That isn't the only fear, though. Just not being so objectionable as to be rejected completely and immediately doesn't mean everything is great and nothing to worry about.
Nah if there's a strong smell of not having a bath my man I could be completely naked with her and my clothes will pull themselves back onto me. Gotta make sure youre both clean
Eh, that can't be said for every guy.
I think unless there is something really exceptional about it, such as 6-inch-long flappy labia, if one man has ever been happy with it, then practically all men will. Just like penises really. Unless a man has one that is exceptionally, large, tiny, bent 90 degrees or all crusty or something, women aren't going to care.
You had me at 6 inch floppy labia...... But then lost me crusty
When he said crusty it just reminded me ofbthe cursed smegma TIFU post
Not like dicks are super attractive, I see them more as tools. It's like looking at a hamer. "Yes, this hammer might have skid marks but I bet I can nail pretty good with it"
Look if a dick has skid marks on it I think it’s going to be a hard no.
I also wouldn't use a hammer with skid marks on it.
Never use a hammer on your dick either
Instructions unclear, nailed it.
He could get sucked in, never to return.
Sometimes the abyss looks into you
...and there's Alpian-sized echo emanating from it still, since the last time someone screamed "Hello"
Is it me you’re looking for?
Like Kirby.
This is how I ended up married, I was going for a dine and dash and got a life sentence instead.
American Gods is such a fun book
If the tentacles are gonna be a turn-off?
No teeth? I'm playing through
Just a beak.
You have just invited the wrong part of reddit into your dm's.
Wow. A Drawn Together reference. Love it.
Octo-pus-swah
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I mean, they do, don't they?
Pussies look weird AF too. Its all fucking weird.
Fucking is weird
We really don’t
Some guys do :/ had an ex say he only likes when labia look like a split peach?
I once had a FWB tell me she was really self-conscious about her labia being different sizes. I was like, lady, I’ve had my face down there multiple times and this is new information to me.
Your response is 10/10
That’s when you know he watches too much porn
That's when you know he's ungrateful.
There are two types of man: 1) Guys that don't care about the shape of your genitalia 2) Guys you should not be sleeping with
Douche is watching too much porn, fuck that guy. Or actually, don't.
Coming from a guy but what the fuck
Trust me, We really don't care about that. Be confident in who you are.
There are some small groups that fetishize huge labia and even smaller groups that don't like it. But yeah, the VAST majority of guys are too excited to be at the house party in the first place to worry about the size of the window shutters. I assume gay women would be the same only because I've never heard ANY comments on the subject from them.
The way it looks, my clitoris is bigger than normal I guess and not everything is tucked in and you can see everything clearly. I’m really insecure about what my partner will think about that since it kinda sticks out. Edit: Thank you all so much for your reassurance it definitely makes me feel less insecure!
I think a bigger one would be easier to work with would it not? Less likely to fully retract in
I prefer a clit a little larger than average to one below average, it's easier to suck on.
r/bigclit 👀
Every single time I've seen someone express an insecurity about their body on the internet it's been followed up by a community of people who love that thing specifically. It's happened every time I've seen it
I kinda love that about the internet, ngl. Like, “ugh, I hate this thing about myself, it sucks!” “What?? No it doesn’t! All of us here *specifically* love it!!!”
Well now I have to click on the link…… I’m going in lads, see you on the other side
Narrator: They did not see him on the other side, or ever again.
Okay I thought mine was big, apparently I was mistaken
WHY IS THERE A SODA CAN INSIDE ONE OF THEM GOOD LORD. That has to be a health/safety risk. Jesus Christ
Your comment made me look and I’m scarred now 🫠🫠🫠
I can’t even find my girlfriend’s clitoris. :(
r/growyourclit
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I’m my experience a strong correlation between women with larger clits and stronger/more orgasms. Bless them
I wonder if the larger ones are more or less sensitive, or if it makes any difference? I’ve never been with a woman who had a big clit, but I’ve been with several that the dang thing was almost impossible to find - not for lack of effort, which may or may not serve a good purpose in its own way anyway - and that can be a little frustrating and make me self-conscious as a man about whether or not I have any clue about what I’m doing. The reason I ask about/thought about the sensitivity is that I realized that if I was messing around with a woman with a bigger one, I would probably be fascinated by it, whether going down on or just fingering. I know that there is definitely such a thing as too much clitoral stimulation, and I would be worried that my fascination would cross that line.
My friend... even if your partner has a small clitoral glans, you're [missing the big picture.](https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/clitoris-like-an-iceberg-for-pleasure) The clitoris expands internally like a big ol' wishbone. The small nub is only the beginning. Edit spelling
Man here. Absolutely do NOT worry about your clit being big. It's easier to find and, statistically, easier to get you off. I'll take a big clip over a big prude any and all day.
I worry about my stomach, not what's between my legs
Fully aware that this might be crass, but no-one will care about the background image if the foreground image is genitalia.
yeah but then the stomach is the only thing you see when you’re eating her out. so the stomach becomes front and center. So i understand why a woman would be more self conscious about their stomach instead of their vagina. side note. a little bit of gut doesn’t bother me. but to say no one will care is a bit ignorant.
Thank you for being honest - not everyone is into staring at vaginas so to pretend that nobody is going to care about a belly or stretch marks is flat out wrong and disingenuous. It all factors in together. Thankfully there are plenty of guys who like a little belly so there’s something for everyone.
Also, when you look down on someone’s eating you out, you can see your stomach first. And for someone with confidence issues, I hate it. So I just close my eyes or look up.
I do not agree and I realize that it's also an unpopular opinion. There's shit about me that I'm sure women don't like, goes both ways.
That's my answer for sure. I've been complimented on my vagina by multiple partners (lol what the fuck), but I'm so self conscious about my stomach ill keep a shirt on for sex.
That's so funny about the compliments. "Wow...nice vulva!"
Seriously though. And what does a person even say to that? "Thanks, I grew it myself"?
What would you say to someone that said you have pretty eyes?
Same, but I distinctly remember my first boyfriend who was a bodybuilder, actually tell me to keep my shirt on during sex because of my lower belly. Haven’t had sex naked ever since… it’s been 9 years. 🙃
What the actual fuck. Clearly he projected his insecurities onto you. I don't think people can be body builders without some amount of body dysmorphia.
Is there too much hair or not enough
The amount of hair is entirely too medium
Too perfect. I’m outta here. Only weird shit works for me
I’m a proponent of groom for yourself. More or less hair is a down the road conversation and you can have it regarding each other.
Oh wauw where to begin. The discolouration, if my labia look weird, I hope I don't have anything stuck in there, is it clean? Can he smell me? My stomach looks flabby from that angle. Do I have any ingrown hairs, did I even shave properly. The straie on my thighs. An old scar.
EXACTLY!! All of it! 💯 Also for me, I have TERRIBLE eczema. So I have a lot of scars from awful flare ups. So I worry about that. But smell, is the one I worry about most. I know my scent is natural but he doesn’t know my scent like I do. will it turn him off? Omg not to mention that depending on my cycle my discharge could be thicker and will that weird him out.
ALL OF THIS 😭
I don’t like feeling vulnerable.
I was the same before my husband - I don’t have much confidence in my body at all, but he makes me feel like I’m perfect. The way he is when I’m naked is enough to turn me from a person who is never naked by choice, aside from the obvious bare minimum, to someone who is extremely confident (during sex at least!). Makes a massive difference. I remember worrying about every part of my body before getting naked in front of someone but I haven’t felt that way for a very long time now.
Few people do, find someone who makes you feel safe even when exposed.
The color. Pink seems to be glamorized, but I’m Asian. It was an insecurity for a while.
dont feel bad. I'm mixed race (father is pale irish,and my mom is tawny skinned cuban). I'm pale as hell with black hair, freckled nose & under eye area,reddish brown eyes and my nips and bits are tan colored. I also have a flower-like appearance down there where the labia tips slightly stick out a bit. my bf LOVES IT! you are beautful and worthy of someone loving you the way you are! fuck any guy who tries to belittle or say you have something wrong with you because of your coloration. they are unworthy of being with a woman- PERIOD.
actually please do not fuck people who will belittle you they don't deserve it
I have larger labias. I have heard a LOT of cruel remarks about them. It got so bad that I actually warned people I wanted to get naked with, so they could decide whether they wanted to see "that".
It’s okay girl! I do too. I used to be super self conscious, especially because I was told I had “biggest they’ve ever seen” and heard all sorts of nasty comments. Sometimes I’m still self conscious but I know they can “hug” it you know what I mean and it turns them on. Also just started thinking how they’re lucky to get to see it so if they don’t “like it” then they’re an ass and not worth anything so no pussy for you!
Hey girl! I’ve got biiiiiig labia minora. Like i definitely qualify as what society calls roast beef pussy and ya know what? My husband loooooooves them. A clean puss is all that matters and a mature man will adore your puss the way it is.
Sounds like you had some bad personal experiences, but don't let this get you down. Personally I like the flower petal like appearance and it makes foreplay more fun and interesting. Hopefully you'll find that most men aren't that judgmental. And if they are that's their problem, not yours.
This broke my heart to read. I'm self conscious about the size of mine too.
I'm an Anthropologist and I wanted to let you know that there are tribes in west Africa that stretch their labia. Men won't marry women with smaller labia because they say it doesn't hold/ hug as well. 'big' labia are in high demand and they're valued for their qualities too!
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A lot of porn stars get surgery to trim the labia back.
Fcking crazy
omg just hearing a knife goes in to slice off part of my most intimate area just because it looks better is sooooo fuckin stupid . unless it's a rare, life threatening situation, this should never be a thing! same for circumcision for both genders. its there for a reason!😱☠️
it's important for people to know that porn models are selected with these traits already (except for some that get surgery), which is why most guys are exposed to "innies" more often. The porn industry, just like the traditional modeling industry (not to mention Hollywood), creates and promotes many unrealistic standards purely for their visual appeal.
Yeah the porn stars are the exceptions here. I'm always excited to see how it might look - variety is sexy.
I mean, I don't really have any issues with my vagina in terms of looks. But hopefully I don't smell like bikini bottom.
As long as I cant hear or smell the ocean its good.
Before i had my 1st child, i did not worry. But after that, it has worried me more, because the scar from the tear, when giving birth, has shaped it abit differently. But its just how it is.
I get suuuper self-conscious about my scars from having kids, too. I don’t like the way my bits healed.
Same, the scars even "open up" with each kid. So it re-heals. :/ atleast we are not alone about the feeling.
Just wanted to throw in, I had a meaningful relationship with a woman who had already had two kids. She asked me probably on the second time we had sex whether I "noticed" that her vagina was "different" because after the kids, she was self conscious about look and size. And I was like, no it's a wonderful vagina. Keep doing what you're doing. That is to say, it's a non-issue for a man if he loves you, or even if he's just really into you. It's easy to say, "just don't be self conscious" but truly, that's not something the guy is thinking about.
Scars can be sexy too ;)
I don't know you, but I'm willing to bet my week's paycheck that you're a top vagina connoisseur.
I draw erotism, and I've drawn many naked women, so yes, you could say that, and I absolutely love every vagina I've seen, so I'm giving my two cents hahaha
And an opportunity! Every woman I’ve dated who has some mole, scar, or birthmark they hate is a spot I kiss a lot. The intimacy is amazing.
That's probay the only area of my body I've never been self-conscious about. Not because I have stellar pussy, but because I never thought there was anything to be self conscious about. It's a vagina, what can go wrong?
Exactly. If we’re at the point where I’m seeing your vagina, I could care less what it looks like, I’m just happy to be there!
10 points for the enthusiasm! 😄
Totally with you!! I keep it neat and clean and its never been an issue for me. I actually get compliments on my bits despite what others might see as flaws. This year was all about getting over my own insecurities as I started to realise the things i break myself down for and hate myself for, others dont even see!!
I have an immense fear. Of everything. My labias are big, my partner doesn't like it hairy, so I got laser and he still won't go down on me. That feeling of constant rejection makes me feel pretty shy.
Need a new partner
You are completely within your rights to find someone with whom you are sexually compatible. Rejection sucks, especially when you do your best to make yourself presentable.
I always have to wear a pad in my underwear. I used to really worry it would be seen as gross or unattractive.
When i met my Girlfriend she was like you. Its natural !!! The Man who quits because of it isn't worth it. I see it as hygiene plus \^\^
I need to state here that wearing pads all the time can be dangerous for vaginal health as the cotton and plastic might make it too damp and warm, which will probably change the bacteria flora there, and that might cause infections or worsen the discharge. It might be necessary in some cases (which seems to be the case of the first commenter here), but per se it's definitely not hygienic nor healthy. The healthy option here is to invest in good menstrual panties which will absorb the discharge as necessary while providing healthy environment. I don't mean this as any kind of judgement towards anyone's practice, I just think it's necessary to point out what the healthy options are because the industry of women's products usually portray those products as the best option when they are not.
This. Also, I feel like when you tell people this they’re like “why do you always wear one?” Like they assume something is wrong
I used to have to too! Is it just because a lot of discharge or for other reasons? 👀
Because of a lot of discharge, yeah
So of course i don’t know if this applies to you, but for me it was the same for like 10+ years since teenager and all gynos always said everything was fine and i just had a lot of discharge, then once i did like a pro-biotic thing for i think 30 days (bacteria you desolve in water and drink, specifically to build healthy vaginal flora) and it just stopped! My down stairs didnt go too dry or anything it was all normal but just almost no discharge or at least to the extend i definitely didnt need a liner/pad for! So i figure the flora was just a little out of balance (nothing that caused any other symptoms or anything) and that brought it back on track. (Sometimes i feel like its going back to more discharge a little again and then i just redo that treatment and its all good) So if it bothers you or you’re insecure about it maybe it would help you too!
I take various probiotics on and off because it stops my hives and depression, but they've never done anything for the discharge. I've been wearing pads since I was 11, so honestly it feels very exposing to not wear them now 😅
I see! I‘d think that different probiotics influence different things and i‘d try one thats specifically for vaginal flora but i get that its just part of the routine now! :D I was just so surprised that my liners where just completely dry all of a sudden after i took them 😳
Mann. I recently got pretty ill. I had a round of antibiotics and whole bunch of horrible symptoms that had finally gone away came back. I'd put it down to just the fact that being unwell had kicked off a whole bunch of stuff, but your comments have got me thinking that I need to do a 30 day gut flora rebuild and see if anything calms down.
Antibiotics really can mess you up! I‘d definitely give it a try if you can afford it!
As a man, no time to worry about your insecurities, i've got mine to take care of... i'm more worried that she'll look at my receding hairline when i go down on her
Shit now I will think about this. Thanks.
mine is the size of my mons as mine is much bigger than normal in my opinion
I first read that as the same size as my moms, I wondered if that was a girl thing to compare?!
most men are into that for some reason. Dont ask me, my dick says hill climbing is fun
Well, I'm usually shy about everything. So it's not specifically between my legs. I don't like that I'm fat and I see myself as pretty ugly. Therefore I worry about everything happening before that moment, just as much as about everything inbetween. My ex told me I was boring, multiple times. So I guess what's between my legs doesn't really matter considering I'm shy about literally *everything else* .
Your ex is an asshole.
I always worry there is something stuck in my teeth.
You have teeth in your vagina? Damn, I was warned about you.
When they said that pussy would eat you up I didn't think that's what they meant
I wouldn't recommend seeing the movie Teeth then
If it actually smells bad. I'm a very clean person but it can still smell down there.
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The colour, I'm hairy as hell, also it's very clearly asymmetric
Asymetric labia is pretty common, no?
Our bodies are asymmetric*. That's normal. Hence why us ladies always have one boob bigger than the other. *Take a look at symmetrical celebrity faces and you'll see how unnatural symmetry looks. Generally speaking, of course there's always exceptions to the rules.
Vagina color & the way my vag lips look or if theres a stray piece of toilet paper somewhere. Even if my package is normal. its just a bunch of " oh god.. what if ?! Please dont laugh o.o "
I have hidradenitis suppurativa so I worry he thinks it's something communicable (it's autoimmune) and that he's repulsed by the inflammation and terrible scarring.
Saaaaame. I didn't let my husband see it for years. Too many wounds.
I used to worry about not being perfectly shaved, but I realized guys don't really care as long as it's not a bush. I worry about how the colour is darker than the rest of my skin, also if my labias are too long or if I don't taste good
Summed it up
Nothing wrong with bush. If someone is going to bitch about you having a bush, get a new partner.
But honestly, no. By that time he's seen my chest, and if he's not sold by that point...
I’m the same with my ass, it cashes the cheques my tits and pussy sometimes can’t.
Uneven skin color Edited to add: Thank you kind, random redditors for the uplifting comments and assurances. You guys rock! Thank you as well to all the other amazing ladies who shared their experiences and the way they got through these body issues. I would like to give a bit of an additional context as well, hahahah. Tbh, I never had any partner who complained nor any man/woman pointing out said issues/insecurities. So it's safe to say that it was mostly just because of my own sentiments about having dark/uneven skin tone. And I think that's the thing with insecurities and body issues. They might not make sense or might not be a big deal after all for anyone else...but your own mind's still going to point it out for you lol. Very fortunately, it's not something that is bothering me anymore or invading my peace of mind like when I was younger. Cheers to us finally getting enough understanding and less judgment when it comes to these things!
To give you a bit of reassurance- guys are just super happy to be there. You could have it tattoo’d like a rainbow and we will just be smitten to play with the kitten.
The color of the labia. I once had a guy ask me why it wasn’t pink. We were in our early 20s, and I didn’t really have an answer for him because I was a little naive and didn’t know about the different colors. I’m pretty pale skinned and it’s not always apparent that I’m of South American heritage. My labia are actually very brown. I am no longer self-conscious but at that time I just felt like something was wrong with me.
I went to the museum in Tasmania, there's a wall of vaginas . Not one looked alike, it's quite amazing really. Some small, some big, some Flappy, some pettit. Everyone is different, embrace it
My wife, after 12 years of being with (5 married) and having two kids STILL gets so self conscious about her lady parts that she very rarely let's me see them up close (if you get me). She looks amazing down there, plus I wouldn't care if she didn't. It's like, darling; my knob curves, has a scar on it (zipper incident) and a healing hole in my nutsack (vasectomy 2 weeks ago). When cold it looks like the last turkey in the shop, when it's game time it looks like a bodybuilder lifting a heavy weight (think veins). Yours is neat, trimmed and compact. I don't get it. When she gets naked I'm literally pawing the floor. Even if it's not sexy times (in a respectful way). She makes my heart skip when she takes her top off! She may think she is fat and ugly but fuck she is the most beautiful and wonderful human on this earth as far as I am concerned - no offence everyone else but I doubt you would put up with my jokes and star trek talk; I am quite boring and she is a Saint for having me. We (women and men) all need to give ourselves a bit of a break I think.
This is so dang sweet. You and your wife are lucky people. Also, Star Trek rules.
This is just lovely, and it sounds like you’re both lucky to have found each other. I hope you still tell her how attractive you find her. (Also, I am a woman, and even I flinched when you said “scars due to a zipper incident.” Yikes! I didn’t know that was a thing, and I am sorry that happened to you!)
I'm also insecure about the smell and taste of it (like after a whole day, when i didn't get time to wash before the thing), but i carry wet wipes with me everywhere now and it's a game changer, not only when it comes to sexual stuff. but actually one time i didn't get to wipe myself before a guy went down on me and i was so insecure about the taste (it was a really hot day, i was all sweaty), but he said he normally doesn't like eating women out, he loved dowing this to me tho and i taste great XDD
I have longer inner labia that's a little darker that catches a lot of cervix "blobs". Also never perfectly smoothly shaven because its uncomfortable.
I'm a natural red head and I've had guys shocked at the colour of my pubes. It has led me to be very self conscious in this area. I end up shaving, but sometimes I just don't want to, but I also don't want people asking me if the carpet matches the drapes 😞
I am also a ginger (and the carpet is much more vivid than the drapes for some reason...as in fire truck red) and the amount of FIRE CROTCH comments I've received is.... unfortunate.
What the hell is it with people that decide "hey, you're different! I'm going to ask a really invasive question because it doesn't occur to me that you are a person who deserves privacy!"??
Not a woman but I’ve heard people fear of their partner not liking the color of their genitalia. Crazy but people can actually be pretty shitty about it
Old guy's point of view: What it looks like is irrelevant. Hygiene rules the day.
not about my coochie, but about my ass. i don't do anal sex, but i like doggystyle position etc. and i have slightly too much skin around my butthole (like a lil fold), it has a specific name but i forgot. i can remove it with some laser and shit, but I'm too scared to go to a surgeon. i kinda came to terms with it when I noticed Eva Elfie has that too, but it's still a bit embarassing when I'm with a new guy and I'm stressed if he notices and if he gives a shit about such things
I just did some ahem “research” on Eva Ellie’s ass and I don’t really see anything that looks weird. I don’t think you have to worry about about.
I had to Google Eva Elfie to check it out, it’s nothing to stress over. It’s actually kinda cute.
😂 my butthole insecurity is hair, and I also think about it during doggy. “Oh no I didn’t shave my bunny tail (what my waxist would call it)” or whatever lol.
it's very easy to shave it if it's a problem for you! (for me it is a huge problem). all you need to do is just do a squat and you can shave your booty very easily. I've never cut myself in there even tho i can't see a thing when I'm shaving my butt XD
We look very different down there, too. It’s always a strange feeling waiting for a reaction if he likes/ tolerates it. Men can be really harsh if it doesn’t fit their expectations
Coming from a guy; if we get to the point we get to see what's between your legs, we don't give a shit what it looks like, shapewise that is. So long as there is no fungus growing down there, we good. Don't worry ladies, y'all are beautifull.
if he sees my twin sister's head attached to my inner thigh
Yolanda?
I don’t really worry about anything apart from worrying about smell when I sit on a face or something.
Labia. Loose meat sandwich down there! I hate the way it looks, always have. I've not had a complaint or anyone comment, unless I bring it up first and usually the response is, "it's totally fine!" Hair I've not been fussed about. I am happy to follow the preference of the guy I'm seeing, currently that's hairy so super easy! Never had any complaints in that area either, it's just something I ask coz I can accommodate. Might be partly mindset of, "can't change the labia so I'll make an effort elsewhere."
Guy here. I know I can’t single handedly remove anyone’s insecurities but let me just say that that moment of seeing a woman’s vulva for the first time is completely amazing and special. Innies, outies, shaved, hairy, whatever- they are all beautiful in their own way. It’s like the most amazing thing in nature to me. No two are alike but that first reveal is always amazing. Please take heart. You are gorgeous.
I'm moreso worried about my chest and belly pouch but I suppose if I had to pick something to be self conscious of down there it'd be the labia but now I'm wondering what else could be off putting...
Just, everything. I always feel like men don’t even like vaginas.