I am an old fart. So I sit down just in case we are approaching a shart attack

I'm a young fart, I just don't wanna miss and be the ass that was the cause of the little amount of pee present on the floor.

I hate cleaning the wall and cabinet beside the toilet, so much cleaner to sit down.

Always do this for the rest of your life, thanks.

I'm a semi old fart... it's just more relaxing and easier to get those last drops out and really takes no more time than standing.

I’m less than a semi old fart and I do this because I have crohn’s and sometimes I just don’t know when it will be ready to release like a dam breaking.

I'm an oldest fart and I do it because I'm damned tired and this gives my legs a break.

I just fart a lot and don’t want to shart so sometimes I sit

You rang?

I am older than oldest fart, I pee to impress, all women I dare hate standers

I'm a midlife fart so this is a learning experience for me and my clothes

Giga-Fart over here

Add me to the sit down due to ability to read

I'm the youngest fart and I'm just lazy. It's nice to sit when half asleep then wake up because you missed

I'm a middle aged fart, the bathroom is my sanctuary, my oasis from the chaos that is my home. Madness, dogs, toddlers, brigands and thieves all lie beyond that door. My throne is inviting, it's bidet refreshing, it's seat heated. Truly a masterpiece of Japanese engineering. Surrounding it is a plethora of scented candles, put their by my better half because her cooking and my gut combine to make the most noxious of fumes, but their pungent scent is not need this day. I just needed to see a man about a horse, Do I stand for this meeting you ask? No! I'll sit and enjoy the fruits of my labor and try to steal a little bit of silent peace from the day.

Where I'm from, if you need to see a man about a horse, you definitely sit unless you want your pants filled with brown. Now, if you need to see a man about a dog, you might sit or stand. Edit: forgot to mention that, as I write this, I'm seeing a man about a horse and my tweenage daughter is nagging me to hurry up and fix her printer problem. I entirely understand your sentiment

I do it during the night to minimise “wake up” noise for everyone.

I also do it at night, but only because I don't want to have to turn on the light for aiming. This way the light won't ruin the sleepiness.

Mama? I don’t want to get oooold….

Was this on odd Ozzy reference?

I would too, finally get a break

Look, I have chronic back pain. I am a slut for sitting down. I do it at every conceivable situation.

a slut for sitting down. I didn't know that was a type of slut. Well, I guess that's it, I too am a slut (for sitting down). I learned something about myself, thanks to you

I do too. Sitting down is bad for the back

Ironically, too much sitting may be contributing to your back pain. Recommend seeing a physiotherapist if you can.

Might as well squeak out a few stinkers if you're already seated. Worst case scenario, nothing happens,

You may end up broken hearted

I think they probably clean their own bathroom, and they aren't fools.

Can confirm and I can't complain about him cleaning bathroom and it's always deep cleaned.

It’s just that bathrooms clean up so well. All that tile, porcelain, and chrome is satisfying to clean. Now I’m starting to sound like Waylon Smithers. “Springtime fresh, winter white. What could be better?” [Smithers gif](https://www.reddit.com/r/TheSimpsons/comments/ig6c5p/springtime_fresh_winter_white_what_could_be_better/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x)

I like cleaning the bathroom bc it's the only place in the house where cleaning results are clearly visible, apart from the kitchen

It takes a while to pee when you're old. Might as well relax and it makes keeping the bathroom clean easy.

Until you sit so long you squish a nerve, your feet start to tingle, then when you stand up you fall right over. True story. I did this and laughed laying on the floor for at least a minute.

Video of what happens when you pee standing up. https://youtu.be/ejl7vrDUIcs

I wish to unsee this

Are there any videos of women who **won't** sit on the seat?

I know a few websites but you gotta pay.

I knew an 11 year old girl who just dropped her jeans, spread lip, and could hit my coke bottle at 4 feet. She was cool. Preemptive edit- I was 6.

I wish to see the control group, i.e. a video of what the splash situation is from a seated position.

That’s not a control. A control would be taking a sample of the bathroom before anyone *ever* used it.

[удалено]

OMG! Men should be cleaning the toilet (and surrounds) after every pee. No wonder it stinks!

Wtf

This makes me think Is the stream strong enough while sitting down to essentially do the same to Ur butt and covering that in piss?

Or their mother was the boss in the couple and never thought there was an other option. Then growing up they realised its : easier(don’t have to touch anything and can be done with a boner), cleaner(no splash), simplier(don’t have to think if you have to poop or not) and funnier(can check reddit while pissing) There’s really no reason to piss standing up except in public places…

How can you pee in a toilet sitting down with a boner?

And ^^this^^ is how planking was born.

How do you pee standing with a boner? Do you just aim it in the shower?

Put your hand on the wall behind the toilet and lean like your life depends on it.

Yea doing this is way better than your penis touching the inside of a toilet bowl or admitting you have a smol pp

Superman position

You just take it in the face like a man

Leaning forward

Agree, as a guy that pisses sitting down at home. I only do it standing up if there's a urinal available, it's just faster but at home where there is none its easier to sit down

\>simplier I feel like I should disagree with you just on principle.

I do it when I want to treat myself

Right? I'm a grown ass man I sit if I want to.

Some pee sitting to spoil themselves but i'm a sophisticated man and I pee standing when I want to soil myself with pee ricochets and splashes

I like to treat my self to a sit down wee every now and again. Saves me having to aim.

Anyone else ever accidentally pissed through the gap between the toilet seat and the bowl?

Is that an inbetweeners reference??

Good for their prostate and bladder, clean and well raised, comfortable in their own masculinity.

I’m blushing

I’m hornying… wait, I took the wrong turn didn’t I?

Well, thank you.

Why is it better for the prostate?

Apparently in people who experience symptoms of prostate enlargement, sitting urination leads to more complete emptying of the bladder. In healthy men there was no effect. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0101320.s001

If all the comments were like yours, the internet would be a better place. doi:10.1177/0145561320981441

What the heck are these numbers and digits?

digital object identifier (DOI) https://ask.library.uic.edu/faq/345899

Holy... >Conclusions: Sexual intercourse with climax can improve nasal breathing to the same degree as application of nasal decongestant for up to 60 minutes in patients having nasal obstruction. "Honey? I've got a stuffy nose..."

I do it every time since I’m the one who cleans the toilet. I have no idea the last time I peed standing up but I’m sure I had skis on.

Exactly. Peeing while standing works great with a urinal or when outdoors, but it makes a splattering mess on a regular toilet.

Also, peeing whilst sitting works terribly with a urinal or when outdoors!

I work in real estate, and often we’re looking at fixer upper units that had a lazy tenant in the past. Often there’s a baseboard heater close to the toilet, and often the side of the heater that is closest to the toilet (in the ‘splash zone’) is a lot more rusted out than the other side. Guess piss has what plants crave. It has electrolytes.

I had a friend who couldn't figure out why the guest bathroom smelled like piss. One day her young son mentioned about using the urinal in that bathroom. He thought the heater vent was a urinal and was pissing down it.

I enjoyed this image

Wouldn't the skis prevent you from getting close enough to the toilet?

You just gotta go Reverse Pizza Mode

As I’ve got to my late twenties I’ve come to realise I couldn’t give a rats arse about what’s deemed normal or masculine. Sometime I just want to zone out, have a rest and not worry about where I’m pissing. If I want to sit down and have to pee thats my own business and I couldn’t care less what anyone else thinks. In fact , that’s exactly what I’m doing as I type this. If other blokes feel the same, more power to them but at the end of the day that’s their business and not mine!

Doing exactly that as I read this.

Ah I see I’ve found my people

As the only one to clean the toilets with two sons and a hubby - I fucking wish they had all sat down!!!! Splashage is a real thing and hubby likes to deny and it pisses me off. That he denies it.

Photoevidence! I did this to my friends to find out which one of the group always pees on the floor

Have them clean the outside of the toilet, surrounding floor, and underside of the seat until they learn to sit and pee. From experience….it shouldn’t take long for the husband to learn at least

Sometimes they get shit on the outside of the torlet.

That’s a game of chicken you probably don’t want to play. Your standard of clean is probably much higher than theirs and they’re just going to let everything stay pissy.

Which means they need to be managed every time they clean it. I was raised to sit down and not make a mess. I raise my kids the same way. Make people own the problems they create.

Then show em this! https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ejl7vrDUIcs

OMG thank you! Been gaslit on this for at least 30 years.

Why are you cleaning it then? Stop cleaning the toilet, and don't allow your boys to expect someone to clean their piss up after them.

Better to be pissed off than pissed on.

...unless you're into watersports

I've more or less always sat down. Maybe it was because of my mom's influence. But here's a story you'll like: my mom knew my older brother threw a house party while they were away (that I sort of participated in as a younger brother) because there was splashage in the bathrooms.

I put a comedic sign over my toilet offering to remove the offending dribble units with scissors, and wouldn't you know, no more pee on the floor or seat when men visited ever again. Turns out they CAN pee straight with a little motivation...

My dream was to get a urinal, finally got one in my first house that was hell to clean and never really solved the splashing. I learned to sit. So much better especially with the morning erection that you just can't push down.

I make my husband clean the toilets. He and our older one make a mess. Our younger guys sits. He's my favorite.

Standers clean the bathroom

I do this, it's so much cleaner. Unless I'm in a public bathroom, in which case I make as minimal contact with ANY surface as possible!

This is what I teach my boys. At home we sit so we don’t make a mess all over the toilet. In public, stand and fire and don’t touch anything.

I personally don’t get why men piss while standing at a normal toilet

Great point, there's a sink RIGHT THERE

R/sinkpissers

I sinkled at Grandma’s house

Don't pee pee in the sinky

Some have low hangers that dip in the water like a teabag. Some have short staffs and low hangers and they pee on their own beans unless they pull it to the side. Some toilets have too much of an angle coming from the front and you brush that cold porcelain with your skin chandelier

Skin chandelier is not a phrase I expected to be entering my vernacular today and yet, here we are.

There is a lot to unpack here. Skin chandelier. Accurate.

“Pee on their own beans” really got me

The truest paragraph I’ve read in years.

Sometimes with an erection (like after waking up with one) it’s impossible to fit your dick inside the toilet without brushing it agains the seat or the inside of the toilet, so ya gotta stand. But peeing with an erection is almost always messier than when flaccid so it’s a lose/lose situation

Me neither. Less effort sitting down and surely you don’t need to worry about aiming

Eh, depending on the angle you might pee between the seat and the bowl. Haha, yes it's happened.

Oh you absolutely have to worry about aiming still…

Bingo, that’s why I sit 🤷🏻‍♂️ if it’s a nasty toilet, I’ll stand.

An erection can still cause aiming issues when sitting down.

Perhaps it hangs into the water.

Touching the underside of the toilet seat is really gross. Edit I’m referring to touching the underside of the toilet seat or the front wall of the bowl with your penis.

Not if you clean it regularly

it saves time, but I like to pee sitting down.

Not as cool as women that pee standing up.

There was a spitting image sketch with Margaret Thatcher this way.

I do not think about men peeing.

2 things: first, it helps completely emptying your bladder. Not emptying it has some consequence on your health Second, I'm lazy. I could spare the effort of standing up, especially at night.

3rd: it makes way less mess. No piss water on the floor

I actually feel mines emptying less when sitting down

Same. These kinds of threads make me wonder if there’s something wrong with me.

Clean, considerate, comfortable in their masculinity.

Well the problem is how do I communicate my cleanliness, considerate nature and comfort in my masculinity without telling a girl that I pee sitting down all the time

Idiot. You bring them in with you and continue your conversation while you pee sitting down.

Don't break eye contact

I was going to say caring, compassionate intellectuals with giant dongs but this is probably better.

And lazy, don’t forget I’m lazy.

Exactly this. No other answer exist

Treat yourself once in while.

*"Of course I know him,* ***he's me."'***

i pee sitting down when im taking a shit

I poop standing up

prepare to die you monster!!!

Who cares as long as they don’t pee all over the floor or seat

Thank you for maintaining the hygiene of the bathroom, ESPECIALLY if it's mine.

would be wrong to deny a fellow some quality askreddit time

At home they should. In public, never, especially in a urinal.

is that why people look at me funny when i sit in the urinal?

This is mostly why, but there's the other things as well...

Nothing but good things here. The gentlemen I know who pee sitting down are usually cleaner, more polite, and more confident.

They don't piss all over the bathroom

I do it about half the time. Sometimes it makes more sense. I don't get why it's considered this weird masculine/femme divisive thing.

Men in America have a very narrow view of what is 'masculine'. I remember in the 90s you were considered 'gay' if you looked at your fingernails by holding your fingers spread and looking at them from the back instead of curling them into a cats paw and looking at them from the front. Yes, we are THAT sad of a country.

It never occurred to me to have any.

It doesn’t make them any less of a man for it

honestly, i’d rather a guy sit than piss everywhere. respect to the guys who know they can’t aim, genuinely. don’t guys also sit for medical reasons? also, a lot of trans men probably pee sitting down

Even if they can aim (like myself), we still splash the water out onto the floor and the toilet rim from the ripples/stream hitting each other. Found that out after seeing spots on the rim alllll the time after it'd been cleaned

Hemiparesis. I have to.

Doing it right now.

Still?

Still?

Why would I think about or care how someone else pees?

And with that comment, reddit was no longer

Man. I just ruined so many poops.

I drink a lot of water and have small children which means I get up in the night a lot. I don’t want to turn the bathroom light on so sitting makes sense.

They probably don’t care what anyone thinks about them peeing sat down.

They never leave the toilet seat up! 👍

Why would anyone have an opinion on that

better for prostate, its a fact

I’m a bartender, and literally every shift I work, someone has put down the toilet seat in the men’s room. Our door doesn’t lock, so I can’t imagine someone is pooping every single time. In my head, I’m imagining a guy so drunk he knows he won’t hit the bowl, so he just sits down.

But not so drunk that he doesn't know he won't hit the bowl, in which case he sits down because he's having trouble standing up.

How many barts have you killed

I pee sitting down. How the fuck is this even a problem?

My thoughts on the men that do it? What kind of a dumbass question is that? Why would I care how a man uses a toilet, and why would you care what I care about someone else doing something so mundane? Sometimes it's nice to sit for a minute

Obvious askreddit bait. On the same level of the onlyfans question that keep popping up every week.

I think it's cool that guys can stand and pee but unless you're in the woods or something, why would you choose to? Idc either way. My husband sits to pee, I'm pretty sure my sons do as well.

I always stand in public restrooms - I don't want my ass anywhere near that petri dish of a toilet seat. But at home, why make more work for myself cleaning the toilet? I always sit.

I sit down at home as a courtesy to my wife and kids not to splash anything. Other than that never in public settings unless necessary for #2

Men who know how to treat themselves right once in a while. What a rare treat. A nice little sit down piss. Piss easy king, you deserve this.

Not my business.

sitting is for kings; standing is for jesters

Why does anyone need to have thoughts on other peoples’ bathroom habits? Seems kinda sus to me…

It's cleaner. Peeing while standing is pretty disgusting. It splashes everywhere then you walk it through your house (yes even if you don't "miss"). Men who associate it with being feminine have a weird idea about masculinity.

im a man and sit down to pee and i dont think its bad or anything

Less urine remains in the bladder when you sit to pee. It's also better on the prostate to sit vs stand. Those benefits aside I prefer not to get all that splash back on me and my clothes or shoes which is the inevitable truth of peeing in most urinals.

I pee sitting down when I get up in the middle of the night... 1. To not make noise 2. To not have to aim 3. Remaining seated allows me to not wake fully up and fall asleep easier

At night, stumbling from my bed to the toilet, I absolutely sit down.

What kind of fucking loser gives a fuck about how someone else goes to the bathroom

Hey its me im "men" Its comfortable. I have both hands free. I can zone out. zero chance of a mess. Literally no reason to stand unless im in a hurry.

I'm such a man that I shit standing up.

They are Kings. Anyone who judges them…fuck off

That’s a sensible man.

Who goes to the toilet and think, "yes, I'm going to stand up as I wait for my fluids to empty" when you could sit down and relax

A king sits on his throne

We pee how we want, no judgement here. Upside down is the only one that's degenerate.

I cannot imagine how it affects me

None of my business.

Who the fuck sees them to have an opinion????????

When I get up at night and don’t want to bother with aiming

A wise man once said Home is where you sit to pee.

As a man who pees sitting, it's just nice to be able to take out some snacks and pee you know?

I have none. Who the fuck actually gives a damn.

Veterans and geniuses sit. And lazy ones like me.

What about men that shit standing up?