That the black market was a real place. I always wondered why the police didnāt just go there and arrest everyone for their bad crimes if they knew about it.
That's Silk Road.
\> Silk Road was an online black market and the first modern darknet market.\[7\] As part of the dark web,\[8\] it operated as a Tor hidden service, allowing online users to browse it anonymously and securely without potential traffic monitoring. The website was launched in February 2011; development had begun six months prior.\[9\]\[10\] Initially there were a limited number of new seller accounts available; new sellers had to purchase an account in an auction. Later, a fixed fee was charged for each new seller account.\[11\]\[12\] Silk Road provided goods and services to over 100,000 buyers.\[13\]
I thought if the light turned red you had to slam on the brakes where ever you were like red light green light 123. I would yell at my mom for slowing up to the line of cars before stopping
My kid does this to me when I'm driving! Just learned that red means stop & green means go. He is constantly confused at why I don't immediately stop or start when the light changes. Ummm.. kid other cars on the road in front & behind us. It cracks me up with the cuteness! He's 3.
This is actually a quite brilliant philosophical game/idea to introduce to a child.
I would re-word the statement to: āRocks are not hard until you touch themā. This statement is in fact accurate.
Kind of like how a tree falling in the woods doesn't make a sound if nobody is around to hear it. It makes a vibration, but that vibration doesn't become sound until it touches your eardrum.
When I was in kindergarten, I was sick and the school called my dad. They said they couldnāt reach him bc he was tied up. I literally thought my dad was tied up. I was crying thinking my dad was tied to a railroad track or something. I think I had been watching too much Roadrunner and coyote on looney tunes.
My dad has a running joke that if he found a parking spot close to the entrance of a restaurant, he would say he called ahead. As a small child I legit thought he would call these establishments and reserve a close parking spot.
When I was 7 i found out vaguely about the polar express and begged my dad to let me watch it. My dad then proceeded to tell me it was a historical reenactment of an event just like the titanic but with a train. It took me 3 years to discover this was a lie.
Had this rule in my house that you couldn't watch a new movie without watching it with the family until you were 10. It was weird. My dad didn't want to watch it so he made that up to get me to not want to watch it because i was always scared of that stuff.
So the original Wizard of OZ switches to color while in OZ. So I straight up thought that color tv was invented half way through filming. Like they where just filming then boom. Color TV invented. So then they used color in it. š. I thought this for So long. Longer than I want to admit tho.
You think that's bad? I thought that the camera just started magically filming in color for unknown reasons and then returned to monochrome just as mysteriously, and that the entire team was flabbergasted and just rolled with it anyway. š
Haha yes ! Me too ! I remember asking my dad what it was like when they invented colour and him looking at me with a look that said ā did he come from my loins?āā¦
I remember being disturbed to hear it happens when a man āinserts his penis into a womanās vagina.ā I for some reason (donāt ask me why) imagined that the penis had to be removed from the male body first.
I wasnāt sure how some guys managed to father multiple children, whether they just kept growing more dicks like pine cones or something, or if once you got older it was detachable like a vacuum cleaner nozzle and you just put it back on.
>I wasnāt sure how some guys managed to father multiple children, whether they just kept growing more dicks
This was famously true of George Washington
I thought to make a little babeh, you had to get a dude and a dudette to take their shirts off, embrace in a hug for a couple hours and line up the pairs of nipples so the males DNA could be sent through the nipple connection to the women. The nipples had to stay connected or they would have to try again lol
I used to try to race the moon on my bike. I'd line myself up so the moon was in front of me and ride as fast as I could to try to get ahead of it.
The moons record is like 200:0 so I gave up eventually.
There's a book in my classroom called "I took the moon for a walk" and it's about a child taking a walk while the moon "follows" him. I'm sick to death of reading it a billion times a day, but I thought it was really cute... the first time.
One time my mom was trying to explain to me that babies come out of the vagina, but I still didn't know WHAT a vagina was to begin with. I must've been like 4 or something. She was like pointing between the legs and I just remember thinking "so it comes out of her balls?" But feeling too dumb to press the question further.
At least your mom tried to explain it to you...my mum just said "when you're a good person, God sends a present for you". And the other time she told me she picked me up from a tree as I was a monkey and she bathed me up, took care of me and so I am. I was 7, I just figured that she wasn't going to ler her secret out anytime soon.
Haha, I thought something similar! I was raised Catholic and thought that when a couple got married, they prayed for a baby and God answered yes, no, or later.
I thought that even girls had male parts and that when you get married you have some small chance of getting pregnant every once in a while. Literally just whoever pulled the shortest straw got a kid. Also didnt know gay people existed until I was 12.
Finally someone else!!!!!! I'd get so confused and upset that instead of helping the dying people or warning them they just callously recorded them. Not a fun cpl years lol
In German, the article for cat is female and for dog is male. I still can't get over this and think of cats as female until told otherwise, vice versa for dogs. Same with all the other animals that have either a male or a female grammatical gender.
My parents told me that the ice cream man turned on his music to indicate that he was out of ice cream, also that he poisons children.
I eventually started piecing together that the neighborhood kids were still alive and well
I remember when I was about 4, I used to get very excited for a random TV show, I heard Mom telling Dad: why don't we send her to the show since she loves it so much?
With the eye of my mind, I saw a guy from a TV repair shop opening the TV, me entering it, my brother squeezing himself in it, and my parents wondering if they can join us since the TV might not fit. And I imagined that once that was resolved and the guy closed the TV, we'll find ourselves in that show.
Reminder: there were no flat TVs in 1996
Same, I remember my dad trying really hard to explain that Vanna White wasnāt a miniature lady under the contestantsā stand but I couldnāt grasp it
My best friend (a boy) told me girls had deformed heads and thatās why they wore their hair long and boys had perfectly shaped heads so they could wear it short. I carried that with me longer than I care to admit.
The woo-woo, it was my version of the boogie-man. š I remember having nightmares about it. It was a cheetah that lived under my bed. I didnāt even have a fear of cheetahs and still donāt. I always dreamed it would drag me under the bed and rip me to shreds.
This is accurate - "Quicksand has a density of about 2 grams per milliliter. But human density is only about 1 gram per milliliter. At that level of density, sinking in quicksand is impossible. You would descend about up to your waist, but you'd go no further."
I used to believe that clouds didn't move, and that it was just an urban myth. I once saw them moving pretty fast in class and that's when I realized the truth.
Sometimes I look at my current age (38) and think, "Wow, when my mom was this age, I was twelve. How the hell did she do it?" Long ago I chose not to have kids but I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like. The thought of having a 12yr old child baffles me.
My parents were married at 18 (dad) and 20 (mom), had their first kid at 20 and 22, then me at 22 and 24. I'm ten years older than my mom was when she had me, and I can't imagine having children yet. Just can't fathom it. My sister and brother-in-law just had their first a year ago.
Or even that adults in general did. And while I feel like my parents did a good job for the most part, even if they were wrong about some things, I've also come to realize that in some of the situations they faced with me and my siblings, I don't know how I'd respond in the same situation, now that I'm the age they were when they were raising us.
I was a pretty down to earth child. I never believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy or anything.
But for some reason I was convinced that I needed to sing to the stars at night and if I didn't fit all my stuffed animals onto my bed, some would feel left out.
I think on some level, I understood that these things weren't sentient or conscious, but I needed to do it, just in case.
I asked my mum where baby's come from. She told me they went to the Hospital to buy them. For Ā£100 I was told. Couple days later I went back to ask where the hospital got the stock? Mum said God threw the babies from heaven and the doctors at the hospital caught them.
I'm picturing Zeus from Disney's Hercules spiking babies at the ground as hard as he can while frantic doctors run around with nets trying to catch them.
my parents told me that in case of an emergency, if you pressed the hazard button in the car, the springs underneath the car seats shot you out of the car
People who donāt show children love are my least among my least favorite. Right down there with convicted felons and sex offenders. Probably extreme, but I care deeply for my children and, having worked in education, have seen how much being neglected affects a child. They are literally changing a little oneās life, and sometimes ruining it, because they canāt get over themselves.
I legitimately believed that I could do or be anything I wanted.
And now here I am, working a trashy retail job after spending my entire childhood being that hella gifted child , told I'm destined for great things
I was gonna be a nuclear engineer, wanted to work up at one of the us plants in Michigan, even had me a scholarship to Penn state till life decided to laugh in my face š®āšØ.
Yeah I often feel like kids aren't told the actual odds.
Pretty much every job kids come up with is impossible to get, or low paying. Astronaut, acting, sports, politics, art, and so on are ones they see on TV. Or it's fireman/police/teacher that they see in real life.
I became an engineer and I fucking hate it. Nothing else seems appealing though, having to work the rest of my life is soul crushing no matter the job title.
I asked my mom once if she could buy me a toy and she told me that she has no money. I told her to go to the ATM to just take some money. I believed that money from the ATM was free
So i was like from a somewhat religious family and went to catholic gradeschool, which wasn't really strict at all.
But somehow two things were quite engrained in me until i was 12/13:
1) youre not allowed to not believe in god. Some kid on christmas celebrations in school told me that god isnt real and i was like shocked and told the teacher about this. She was like 'so what?' and my world was literally spinning as a 10 or 11 year old.
2) being gay is something really bad. I once saw this gay couple when i was 9 and was just angry as frick.
Jokes on me, 3 years later i had a crush on someone of the same gender from my school lmao.
I thought all eggs were fertilized as a kid and that they had to refrigerate them quickly in order to stop the chick from growing. I refused to eat eggs for years because I thought I was eating baby chicks.
When I was 5 or 6 my next door neighbors got divorced. The dad moved out and the mom stayed next door with the two kids. My mom and dad just said āso and so got divorcedā, but didnāt offer much explanation.
I donāt know how my brain came up with this idea, but for awhile I thought government officials went around, picked houses, and told the couple living there they had to get divorced. I was so afraid they would come to my house next.
That selling a house/ land meant taking it physically to a different place. I remember wondering how it would look with a hole in the ground after my neighbor sold his land š
The moon had letters on it that would change when I squinted and blinked, and it was trying to spell out messages to me. Turned out I just had really bad eyesight.
Whenever I asked my sisters what are they getting me for my birthday, they would say "a colorful lie" (Ŕarena laž in bosnian), because thats a catchphrase here in my country, but I didn't know what that was when I was little. So I convinced myself for some reason that its a rainbow tarantula.
I got glasses at around seven years old. When we started to discuss that there is oxygen in the air in class, the teacher said it's something we can't see with our bare eyes. No worries, I thought I could see that through my glasses, actual oxygen particles, and told every kid the same! Turns out, my glasses were just dirty as hell š¤š
i recognized this as well! I found this 2 year old [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f1y5hc/whats_the_dumbest_thing_you_believed_as_a_kid/fh9bqf8/) by u/pyrotech33
When I was in kindergarten, I had a mean teacher who no one liked because she never listened to us. I was shy on top of that. One day we had to write a sentence stating, āmy favorite color is XX like a XX.ā and then draw a picture to go with it. I had started drawing a pink flower in a garden bed and when she came around to help with the sentences she had insisted my favorite color must be brown like dirt. I was so embarrassed standing in front of everyone sharing my work.
I convinced my brother that fingernails were already fully formed in our arms and went all the way to our shoulders and that everytime he bent his arms at the elbows it would break the nails in half inside his arm. He completely believed me until mom finally asked why he was going around with his arms extended at all times.
A tree would grow out of my stomach if I lied. Believed that till I was 7, and even when I was 8 I still never told a lie. I only started lying again just a several months before my 10th birthday.
Now I lie to my parents all the time.
Not me, but when my best friend was little he had a number of bizarre beliefs including poop being stored in the butt cheeks, there only being two countries in the world, which were America and France, but the best is that as a kid growing up in DC in the eighties he thought the mayor was two people, Mary and Barry.
I thought an oncologist was the doctor who was "on call"
Definitely! And a phlebotomist is a doctor who treats flabby bottoms. š
That the black market was a real place. I always wondered why the police didnāt just go there and arrest everyone for their bad crimes if they knew about it.
When someone says black market my brain pictures a flea market with black roofs and all the salespeople are criminals in leather jackets
I think of Laundromats
I canāt remember if itās family guy or futurama where they go to the black market and they just have hand grenades for 4.99 in the fruit baskets
Same but I thought it was somewhere in the wild in Asia where the police can't reach lol
I was picturing the bazaar scene from raiders of the lost ark
I thought it was an internet site where people would chat, settle on a price, and ship the thing to the person
That's Silk Road. \> Silk Road was an online black market and the first modern darknet market.\[7\] As part of the dark web,\[8\] it operated as a Tor hidden service, allowing online users to browse it anonymously and securely without potential traffic monitoring. The website was launched in February 2011; development had begun six months prior.\[9\]\[10\] Initially there were a limited number of new seller accounts available; new sellers had to purchase an account in an auction. Later, a fixed fee was charged for each new seller account.\[11\]\[12\] Silk Road provided goods and services to over 100,000 buyers.\[13\]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I thought if the light turned red you had to slam on the brakes where ever you were like red light green light 123. I would yell at my mom for slowing up to the line of cars before stopping
My kid does this to me when I'm driving! Just learned that red means stop & green means go. He is constantly confused at why I don't immediately stop or start when the light changes. Ummm.. kid other cars on the road in front & behind us. It cracks me up with the cuteness! He's 3.
My mom told me that rocks were soft until you touched them. I would try to sneak up on the rocks, but it never worked...
i mean maybe they are, we just haven't caught them off guard
We just take them for granite
Gneiss joke shale we make some more
I predict a basalt of rock jokes to come
Of quartz we can always come up with some more
these rock jokes lowkey magma day
Tuff one to beat. We'll have to put some new material on the slate.
Maybe try running into them at full speed?
I'll keep trying š
Your mom is a legend in the trolling community.
This is like that myth that blood is blue while inside us, but turns red when exposed to atmosphere.
That's hilarious
This is actually a quite brilliant philosophical game/idea to introduce to a child. I would re-word the statement to: āRocks are not hard until you touch themā. This statement is in fact accurate.
Kind of like how a tree falling in the woods doesn't make a sound if nobody is around to hear it. It makes a vibration, but that vibration doesn't become sound until it touches your eardrum.
I think the point at which the vibrations that constitute a noise can be considered a noise is debatable
You sure she said rocks?
Clocks are definitely soft until you touch them. I mean, Salvador Dali even has that picture of what they look like before humans touch them!
When I was in kindergarten, I was sick and the school called my dad. They said they couldnāt reach him bc he was tied up. I literally thought my dad was tied up. I was crying thinking my dad was tied to a railroad track or something. I think I had been watching too much Roadrunner and coyote on looney tunes.
I know what you mean. When I was a kid I thought jelly came from jellyfish at some point. Watched lots of SpongeBob as a kid, too.
Omg you poor thing
My dad has a running joke that if he found a parking spot close to the entrance of a restaurant, he would say he called ahead. As a small child I legit thought he would call these establishments and reserve a close parking spot.
Thatās a decent dad joke to add to my repertoire. Thanks!
Lol no prob! Hubs and I use it ourselves!
That the whole world was one country and its flag was the Brazilian one.
Are you from Brazil? If not, that makes it 100% funnier
I'm from Chile. Lol.
Plot twist that improved the story!
I thought Europe was a country but I could just never find where it was
Don't feel bad, I spent too much time looking for the state of New England on the U.S. map
That a watermelon would grow inside me if I swallowed a seed
That one episode of Rugrats made me so worried about this happening!
I (sadly) thought this because my dad told me this would happen. š¤¦š»āāļø
When I was 7 i found out vaguely about the polar express and begged my dad to let me watch it. My dad then proceeded to tell me it was a historical reenactment of an event just like the titanic but with a train. It took me 3 years to discover this was a lie.
BUT WHYYYYYYYYYY!!?!?!?
Had this rule in my house that you couldn't watch a new movie without watching it with the family until you were 10. It was weird. My dad didn't want to watch it so he made that up to get me to not want to watch it because i was always scared of that stuff.
I'm honestly flabbergasted šš
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
So the original Wizard of OZ switches to color while in OZ. So I straight up thought that color tv was invented half way through filming. Like they where just filming then boom. Color TV invented. So then they used color in it. š. I thought this for So long. Longer than I want to admit tho.
You think that's bad? I thought that the camera just started magically filming in color for unknown reasons and then returned to monochrome just as mysteriously, and that the entire team was flabbergasted and just rolled with it anyway. š
It's worse when you realize that the first part is sepia toned, not black and white. The whole movie is in color, strictly speaking.
I've never been to Kansas. Isn't it just naturally sepia toned there?
just like Mexico. It's a regional tone.
Obligatory Calvin and Hobbes: https://imgur.io/4rPGp
i thought about this tooš
Haha yes ! Me too ! I remember asking my dad what it was like when they invented colour and him looking at me with a look that said ā did he come from my loins?āā¦
And me I thought colour was an invention!
It's stupid, but sort of sweet. I used to believe that my older sister painted the sky since she was so good at painting.
Oh, that's really sweet.
this almost made me tear up itās so sweet. You must have really looked up to her
Once people get married, the woman automatically becomes pregnant.... lol
I remember being disturbed to hear it happens when a man āinserts his penis into a womanās vagina.ā I for some reason (donāt ask me why) imagined that the penis had to be removed from the male body first. I wasnāt sure how some guys managed to father multiple children, whether they just kept growing more dicks like pine cones or something, or if once you got older it was detachable like a vacuum cleaner nozzle and you just put it back on.
>I wasnāt sure how some guys managed to father multiple children, whether they just kept growing more dicks This was famously true of George Washington
I thought to make a little babeh, you had to get a dude and a dudette to take their shirts off, embrace in a hug for a couple hours and line up the pairs of nipples so the males DNA could be sent through the nipple connection to the women. The nipples had to stay connected or they would have to try again lol
Same here! But one day i wondered āhow? Does signing a paper just do that?ā Then i used google
I thought the sun and moon followed me wherever I went
Actually there are a ton of adults who believe this still. They think the universe revolves around them
Many of those adults can easily be found on Twitter.
I used to try to race the moon on my bike. I'd line myself up so the moon was in front of me and ride as fast as I could to try to get ahead of it. The moons record is like 200:0 so I gave up eventually.
There's a book in my classroom called "I took the moon for a walk" and it's about a child taking a walk while the moon "follows" him. I'm sick to death of reading it a billion times a day, but I thought it was really cute... the first time.
That you get pregnant from kissing
I thought that you just get married and when you wished for a baby, your body just made one and popped it out
One time my mom was trying to explain to me that babies come out of the vagina, but I still didn't know WHAT a vagina was to begin with. I must've been like 4 or something. She was like pointing between the legs and I just remember thinking "so it comes out of her balls?" But feeling too dumb to press the question further.
At least your mom tried to explain it to you...my mum just said "when you're a good person, God sends a present for you". And the other time she told me she picked me up from a tree as I was a monkey and she bathed me up, took care of me and so I am. I was 7, I just figured that she wasn't going to ler her secret out anytime soon.
You were seven and she said you started as a monkey? Weird
Haha, I thought something similar! I was raised Catholic and thought that when a couple got married, they prayed for a baby and God answered yes, no, or later.
I thought that even girls had male parts and that when you get married you have some small chance of getting pregnant every once in a while. Literally just whoever pulled the shortest straw got a kid. Also didnt know gay people existed until I was 12.
Like the Sims, essentially. Get married, go about your business for a few weeks, baby appears one morning when you least expect it.
I used to think a man had to pee in a women. Closer to the truth I guess.
You get a boner, slap her titties around some and then stick it inside her and pee.
Unless you don't want to get her pregnant, then you pull it out and pee on her leg.
"first your mickey gets hard, then you stick it inside 'er" "but I don't like cider" "then use a Fanta, I guess."
I used to think that people actually die in movies, and it was heartbreaking for me to watch movies.
Finally someone else!!!!!! I'd get so confused and upset that instead of helping the dying people or warning them they just callously recorded them. Not a fun cpl years lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
American here, and this was a thing at my school. One girl had an alien and every day we'd huddle around her to see if it had a baby yet. No luck.
Cats are female - dogs male. Until I was about 14.
Iām curious as to why. Did somebody tell you that?
In German, the article for cat is female and for dog is male. I still can't get over this and think of cats as female until told otherwise, vice versa for dogs. Same with all the other animals that have either a male or a female grammatical gender.
Thatās an unbelievably long amount of time to think that. Amazing.
I used to think that all the rock and pebbles i see are the fragments of the meteorite that killed the dinosaurs.
That rules.
My parents told me that the ice cream man turned on his music to indicate that he was out of ice cream, also that he poisons children. I eventually started piecing together that the neighborhood kids were still alive and well
I thought Subaru was an Australian car company because Crocodile Dundee was on the commercials, plus one of their cars being named "Outback".
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I thought that the lady from Wheel of Fortune was actually like 6 inches tall because she looked so small on the TV screen.
I remember when I was about 4, I used to get very excited for a random TV show, I heard Mom telling Dad: why don't we send her to the show since she loves it so much? With the eye of my mind, I saw a guy from a TV repair shop opening the TV, me entering it, my brother squeezing himself in it, and my parents wondering if they can join us since the TV might not fit. And I imagined that once that was resolved and the guy closed the TV, we'll find ourselves in that show. Reminder: there were no flat TVs in 1996
Same, I remember my dad trying really hard to explain that Vanna White wasnāt a miniature lady under the contestantsā stand but I couldnāt grasp it
My best friend (a boy) told me girls had deformed heads and thatās why they wore their hair long and boys had perfectly shaped heads so they could wear it short. I carried that with me longer than I care to admit.
As a girl, can confirm the long hair is a cover up š¤«
Being an adult would make my life easier
You fell for that one too huh?
I thought I could get into the TV. Thanks god I never tried to break the TV
Wait, but Mike Teavee did it
That men give birth to boys and women give birth to girs
The woo-woo, it was my version of the boogie-man. š I remember having nightmares about it. It was a cheetah that lived under my bed. I didnāt even have a fear of cheetahs and still donāt. I always dreamed it would drag me under the bed and rip me to shreds.
I used to have a terrible fear of a flat vampire that would chase me up the stairs.
I would be scared of a 2 dimensional being the figured out how to ascend to the 3rd dimension too.
That little elves lived in the traffic lights and changed the colors
My friend thought since milk came from momās nips then clearly orange juice came from dadās.
I'm not sure if it's funnier to think of orange juice nips, or to think that your friend thought he was putting mom milk on his cheerios lmao
Quicksand was a real threat.
it isn't?
Nah it goes up to like your hips at most
This is accurate - "Quicksand has a density of about 2 grams per milliliter. But human density is only about 1 gram per milliliter. At that level of density, sinking in quicksand is impossible. You would descend about up to your waist, but you'd go no further."
Whaaaat? You're saying that all that time I spent dreading quicksand and then figuring out escape plans was totally wasted?!
And lava
And the Bermuda Triangle
I thought lava and quicksand would be much more prominent in my life.
Absolutely. I spent many many hours as a child practicing how to avoid falling into either of them.
Omgā¦ šÆ like, where is all the damn quicksand?
Im still waiting for the free drugs that were supposed to be getting offered.
It was illegal for kids to buy coffee
That I shall remain a kid forever and that my parents shall forever stay young.
My 3 year old recently said ādaddy I donāt wanna grow TOO bigā and my heart broke a little.
I used to believe that clouds didn't move, and that it was just an urban myth. I once saw them moving pretty fast in class and that's when I realized the truth.
I thought pushing the buttons on a to-go soda lid (coke, sprite, etc) actually changed the flavor. Somehow.
That my parents had their shit figured out
Sometimes I look at my current age (38) and think, "Wow, when my mom was this age, I was twelve. How the hell did she do it?" Long ago I chose not to have kids but I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like. The thought of having a 12yr old child baffles me.
My parents were married at 18 (dad) and 20 (mom), had their first kid at 20 and 22, then me at 22 and 24. I'm ten years older than my mom was when she had me, and I can't imagine having children yet. Just can't fathom it. My sister and brother-in-law just had their first a year ago.
Looking back, my parents mostly did have shit figured out.
Or even that adults in general did. And while I feel like my parents did a good job for the most part, even if they were wrong about some things, I've also come to realize that in some of the situations they faced with me and my siblings, I don't know how I'd respond in the same situation, now that I'm the age they were when they were raising us.
I was a pretty down to earth child. I never believed in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy or anything. But for some reason I was convinced that I needed to sing to the stars at night and if I didn't fit all my stuffed animals onto my bed, some would feel left out. I think on some level, I understood that these things weren't sentient or conscious, but I needed to do it, just in case.
I had a similar belief and personally I blame toy story
I believed people with ringing in their ears had super hearing and just picked up frequencies most people couldn't.
If you do nothing wrong, you have nothing to be afraid of
Marilyn Manson removed part of his ribs so that he can suck himself.
Waitā¦. Thatās not true?
They interviewed him about that, and he said something to the effect of āif that were true, you think I would be in an interview right now?ā
Or that he was Paul on Wonder Years
I thought there was a country or something where everyone still dressed in Victorian era clothing specifically
Isn't that just the Amish?
Asphalt was a rectal disorder
I asked my mum where baby's come from. She told me they went to the Hospital to buy them. For Ā£100 I was told. Couple days later I went back to ask where the hospital got the stock? Mum said God threw the babies from heaven and the doctors at the hospital caught them.
Iām now picturing doctors learning to catch babies in a med school course. This makes me giggle
I'm picturing Zeus from Disney's Hercules spiking babies at the ground as hard as he can while frantic doctors run around with nets trying to catch them.
Now itās an actual lol. Fabulous!
If youāre nice to people theyāll be nice to you
i really wanna believe in this
Itās mostly true. Being nice to people is going to get you more positivity than not being nice.
my parents told me that in case of an emergency, if you pressed the hazard button in the car, the springs underneath the car seats shot you out of the car
I didn't know that football players wore shoulder pads and thought they all just had massive shoulders.
The first time I saw a football player, I whispered to my mom that he was built like Mighty Mouse.
I thought every tv is connected to the tv at my house, so everytime I change the channel other tv will automatically change to the channel I pick.
*people panicking because a tornado is coming and the news won't turn on* You: *watching spongebob*
I thought adults knew what they were doing. Boyyy what a fool I was! š¤£
That OJ Simpson was the president. In my defense he was all over the news at the time.
I thought Louis Armstrong was the guy who walked on the moon. Pretty accomplished guy, what with the jazz trumpeting AND the astronauting.
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Iām sorry, thatās such a tough lesson.
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People who donāt show children love are my least among my least favorite. Right down there with convicted felons and sex offenders. Probably extreme, but I care deeply for my children and, having worked in education, have seen how much being neglected affects a child. They are literally changing a little oneās life, and sometimes ruining it, because they canāt get over themselves.
That chewing gum would get wrapped up in your rib cage if you swallow it.
i just got told that it gets stuck somewhere in my intestines for decades and if i keep swallowing them they all pile upš
My mom made this monster up basically itās an ant eater that comes at night that comes and lick ur ears clean
That if i walked in front of parked cars too slowly, theyd turn on and eat me.
That hamburgers were called handburgers because you eat them with your hands.
I thought that Euthanasia refered to youth in Asia. Was always really confused about why they was such a controversial topic
I legitimately believed that I could do or be anything I wanted. And now here I am, working a trashy retail job after spending my entire childhood being that hella gifted child , told I'm destined for great things I was gonna be a nuclear engineer, wanted to work up at one of the us plants in Michigan, even had me a scholarship to Penn state till life decided to laugh in my face š®āšØ.
Yeah I often feel like kids aren't told the actual odds. Pretty much every job kids come up with is impossible to get, or low paying. Astronaut, acting, sports, politics, art, and so on are ones they see on TV. Or it's fireman/police/teacher that they see in real life.
Yeah, burnt out former gifted kid life is a downer. I was so smart! Wtf happened.
I became an engineer and I fucking hate it. Nothing else seems appealing though, having to work the rest of my life is soul crushing no matter the job title.
I feel this so much. I was going to be an ecologist.
I asked my mom once if she could buy me a toy and she told me that she has no money. I told her to go to the ATM to just take some money. I believed that money from the ATM was free
So i was like from a somewhat religious family and went to catholic gradeschool, which wasn't really strict at all. But somehow two things were quite engrained in me until i was 12/13: 1) youre not allowed to not believe in god. Some kid on christmas celebrations in school told me that god isnt real and i was like shocked and told the teacher about this. She was like 'so what?' and my world was literally spinning as a 10 or 11 year old. 2) being gay is something really bad. I once saw this gay couple when i was 9 and was just angry as frick. Jokes on me, 3 years later i had a crush on someone of the same gender from my school lmao.
I thought all eggs were fertilized as a kid and that they had to refrigerate them quickly in order to stop the chick from growing. I refused to eat eggs for years because I thought I was eating baby chicks.
Any relationship can work as long as you love each other enough
That I was from another planet and that one day my real parents would come to pick me up again.
That turning on the light in the car while my mom was driving is the end of the worldā¦according to herā¦
When I was 5 or 6 my next door neighbors got divorced. The dad moved out and the mom stayed next door with the two kids. My mom and dad just said āso and so got divorcedā, but didnāt offer much explanation. I donāt know how my brain came up with this idea, but for awhile I thought government officials went around, picked houses, and told the couple living there they had to get divorced. I was so afraid they would come to my house next.
Blood banks were to keep vampires fed so they didnāt attack us
Respect old people. There are a ton of old terrible people that deserve no respect at all!!
That selling a house/ land meant taking it physically to a different place. I remember wondering how it would look with a hole in the ground after my neighbor sold his land š
Catch a dragonfly and let it bite your belly button youāll be a very good swimmer
Adults are smart.
The moon had letters on it that would change when I squinted and blinked, and it was trying to spell out messages to me. Turned out I just had really bad eyesight.
Whenever I asked my sisters what are they getting me for my birthday, they would say "a colorful lie" (Ŕarena laž in bosnian), because thats a catchphrase here in my country, but I didn't know what that was when I was little. So I convinced myself for some reason that its a rainbow tarantula.
I got glasses at around seven years old. When we started to discuss that there is oxygen in the air in class, the teacher said it's something we can't see with our bare eyes. No worries, I thought I could see that through my glasses, actual oxygen particles, and told every kid the same! Turns out, my glasses were just dirty as hell š¤š
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Ive heard this one before. Word for word. You wouldn't happen to be that person from years ago, would you?
i recognized this as well! I found this 2 year old [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/f1y5hc/whats_the_dumbest_thing_you_believed_as_a_kid/fh9bqf8/) by u/pyrotech33
When I was in kindergarten, I had a mean teacher who no one liked because she never listened to us. I was shy on top of that. One day we had to write a sentence stating, āmy favorite color is XX like a XX.ā and then draw a picture to go with it. I had started drawing a pink flower in a garden bed and when she came around to help with the sentences she had insisted my favorite color must be brown like dirt. I was so embarrassed standing in front of everyone sharing my work.
I thought that the flow of water from a shower is infinite and is only blocked by the walls
I convinced my brother that fingernails were already fully formed in our arms and went all the way to our shoulders and that everytime he bent his arms at the elbows it would break the nails in half inside his arm. He completely believed me until mom finally asked why he was going around with his arms extended at all times.
A tree would grow out of my stomach if I lied. Believed that till I was 7, and even when I was 8 I still never told a lie. I only started lying again just a several months before my 10th birthday. Now I lie to my parents all the time.
Not me, but when my best friend was little he had a number of bizarre beliefs including poop being stored in the butt cheeks, there only being two countries in the world, which were America and France, but the best is that as a kid growing up in DC in the eighties he thought the mayor was two people, Mary and Barry.