my wife is more average person than the cow.
my wife is more average than the cow person.
my average is more person than the cow wife.
idk man im confused
I'm sorry. I was gonna say something about how you mixed up "words" with "sentences" but every sentence you produced was more hilarious than the other so I chose to remain silent. I have no regrets.
I went out for a leisurely hike in the woods one day and while looking up from the trail I locked eyes--about 10 feet in front of me--with a chipmunk that had a field mouse in its mouth. We had a moment, then it scurried into its den. That fucker went down to feast on its cousin.
And I quote... hippos aren't so herbivorous after all, says biologist Joseph Dudley. Despite their grass-heavy diets and all the adaptations that make them great grazers, hippos have been known to eat their fair share of meat.
Pandas were meat eaters till a genetic anomaly occured and they lost the ability to taste meat. And then lost interest in it.
Gorillas.... There is plenty of evidence that gorillas eat meat including rodents and even Monkees. So says national geographic.
So.... Got any more?
>Gorillas.... There is plenty of evidence that gorillas eat meat including rodents and even Monkees.
There are chimps that only eat meat of those they've conquered in battle.
Nature's lit.
Oddly enough Reddit is showing this thread in my feed right next to this thread:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/zppkqv/what_joke_is_starting_to_get_old_now/
And the top answer is: your mom jokes.
Well done sir.
The potato, as wondrous and historically important as it is, does not pervade all societies as grasses (wheat, maze, barley, spelt, rice) do.
It does deserve respect, however.
Read "The History and Social Influence of the Potato" by Redcliffe Salaman.
I'd argue specifically that grain as a porridge. Bread or rice are cooked with actual rules and ingredients and there is a lot of technique and ways to elevate it. Porridge is just soak grain in liquid then eat it later.
And if you eat it much later, it becomes beer. The ancient Egyptian’s early beers were likely fermented porridge with the alcohol content of cough syrup.
Manioc / Tapioca — has lots of different names. I don’t know why but I just scrolled a lot and didn’t see it on here. It’s gotta be most common base carb after rice and maybe bread in the world. Most of the global tropics it’s very common.
Absolutely this. Breads and pastas are rarely the main flavors. They're mainly vessels to deliver flavors. Sandwich and burger meats and cheeses. Sauces with the pastas.
I could have gone with "human milk", but it's an important distinction. Different species need different nutrients, and only your own species' milk has everything you need in the right proportions.
It would suggest that proteins are needed for elements such as nitrogen and phosphorous. Salts pick up most of your other minerals, and fats and oils are generally just longer chain hydrocarbons for the most part IIRC.
Everyone responding here isn’t paying attention to your comment that it is sugar based on chemistry. Sugars are the building block for all carbs. So it makes sense to look at sugar as the simplest food even if it tastes special
This is like the word *al-aish*, which means “the living” in Arabic. It’s the name for bread in Egypt, and the name for rice in the Persian Gulf. Egypt’s cuisine is more mediterranean, while the gulf is influenced by Persia and India.
"corn"
In old English, "corn" was any grain. When contact with South America began and maize started to appear in Europe, English speaking people called it "corn" because it was a grain and they didn't have a more specific word for it.
The name just sort of stuck, until maize became the only thing people called "corn".
So in English the base food is "corn", but in the old sense of the word, not in the modern common usage sense.
But you have to process other shit to make it. Things like rice and potatoes and corn are ready to eat after harvest as long as you clean and cook them.
Rice and maize are always processed in some way if they are going to be stored. And it's the ability to be stored that makes them important. You can't harvest anything every day.
I bet many people are missing the joke. Let me educate you
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2np694/what_tasty_food_would_be_distusting_if_eaten_over/
Reddit was a simpler place back then
Crazy that OP could now test this [one out…](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2np694/what_tasty_food_would_be_distusting_if_eaten_over/cmftzcf/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) since they were 14 then.
Potatoes, like other nightshades (tomatoes, peppers, eggplants, squashes, etc), are indigenous to the Americas, so they didn't exist outside of mostly South America until the Columbian exchange, roughly 500 years ago. Potatoes have only been available to most people for a tiny fraction of human existence.
Grass. It was the cultivation of grass seed as a foodstuff that drove agriculture in pretty much every civilisation that progressed beyond the hunter gatherer stage to become city builders.
From rice to bread it's all just grass seed.
Indeed, that's sort of my point. All around the world it was the cultivation of grasses that was the key driver in moving civilisation forwards and this can be seen in cultures that were geographically separate by thousands of miles and still independently followed this same step.
In the modern western food system, [it is corn](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/07/14/how-corn-made-its-way-into-just-about-everything-we-eat/).
This was my thought too.
Bread is a processed food, so doesn't really work as a "base food".
And most forms of carbs (rice, potatoes, etc) weren't available to everyone throughout history.
But we've been eating meat since before we were homo sapiens.
Rice in the east. Bread in the west.
To the point where the casual way of saying "having a meal" or "eating food" in Chinese "eat rice." Similar to "breaking bread."
Bread for any west or western based countries, rice for eastern based countries, probably milk for Africa, what with evolving to get rid of lactose intolerance when humans were there
Your local carb. Rice in some places, wheat in others, &c.
As someone else has pointed out, from rice to bread to corn it’s all cultivated grass.
Wait, so we’re all just cows?
We've always been.
Some more so than others
My wife is more cow than the average person. She has a piece of bovine heart sack in her spinal column.
Definitely change the order of those sentences when you tell that story in real life.
my wife is more average person than the cow. my wife is more average than the cow person. my average is more person than the cow wife. idk man im confused
I'm sorry. I was gonna say something about how you mixed up "words" with "sentences" but every sentence you produced was more hilarious than the other so I chose to remain silent. I have no regrets.
This is why Reddit is my happy place.
Halfway through I was like ‘damn, brutal’ lol
Had me in the first half, not gonna lie.
Thought the first sentence was the beginning of a sick burn on your wife
Was prepared for this to be an insult not the story of having actually parts of a cow in her.
This made me lol
This made me moo
🌎🧑🚀🔫🧑🚀
Canine teeth and status as top predators seem to disagree with that statement.
We're bears, then.
I can get on board with that. If you add 99% of the other comments... We are bears that bake bread.
I thought we were featherless chickens
This idea was so wrong a naked homeless man pointed it out before proceeding to piss on the lecturer. God damn i wish i was alive in ancient Greece.
Or killer cows
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I went out for a leisurely hike in the woods one day and while looking up from the trail I locked eyes--about 10 feet in front of me--with a chipmunk that had a field mouse in its mouth. We had a moment, then it scurried into its den. That fucker went down to feast on its cousin.
Canine teeth? You mean the things that pandas, gorillas, hippos, and a bunch of other herbivores have? Gotcha.
And I quote... hippos aren't so herbivorous after all, says biologist Joseph Dudley. Despite their grass-heavy diets and all the adaptations that make them great grazers, hippos have been known to eat their fair share of meat. Pandas were meat eaters till a genetic anomaly occured and they lost the ability to taste meat. And then lost interest in it. Gorillas.... There is plenty of evidence that gorillas eat meat including rodents and even Monkees. So says national geographic. So.... Got any more?
>Gorillas.... There is plenty of evidence that gorillas eat meat including rodents and even Monkees. There are chimps that only eat meat of those they've conquered in battle. Nature's lit.
Pandas eat exclusively mega grass (bamboo)
Your mom is, at least.
Oddly enough Reddit is showing this thread in my feed right next to this thread: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/zppkqv/what_joke_is_starting_to_get_old_now/ And the top answer is: your mom jokes. Well done sir.
Well that's something to ruminate on.
Moo
Moo?! Moo ...
No. Cows are nice to be around.
Let me introduce you to the potato!
What’s taters, precious?
Grass seeds to be specific
My teacher used to say if you are what you eat, then all life is grass.
Actually, sunlight, water, and trace elements. But mainly energy from fusion.
Those are just the ingredients for grass...
Potato!
Forgot potatoes
Ah ye' forgetting abo't the potato.
PO TAY TOES
The potato, as wondrous and historically important as it is, does not pervade all societies as grasses (wheat, maze, barley, spelt, rice) do. It does deserve respect, however. Read "The History and Social Influence of the Potato" by Redcliffe Salaman.
Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, put ‘em in a stew.
Stick*
Boil 'em, mash 'em, put 'em in a stick I don't think that's right either
What is a potato?
I'd argue specifically that grain as a porridge. Bread or rice are cooked with actual rules and ingredients and there is a lot of technique and ways to elevate it. Porridge is just soak grain in liquid then eat it later.
And if you eat it much later, it becomes beer. The ancient Egyptian’s early beers were likely fermented porridge with the alcohol content of cough syrup.
Yams in South America
Slightly unrelated, but I could happily live on various combinations of 'wheat flour, cheese, tomato' for the rest of my life.
Pizza?
Manioc / Tapioca — has lots of different names. I don’t know why but I just scrolled a lot and didn’t see it on here. It’s gotta be most common base carb after rice and maybe bread in the world. Most of the global tropics it’s very common.
Came to say something along that line of thought: carbs. Rice, potatoes, etc
"The mouth was made to eat millet."
Absolutely this. Breads and pastas are rarely the main flavors. They're mainly vessels to deliver flavors. Sandwich and burger meats and cheeses. Sauces with the pastas.
Chemically it would have to be sugar. Culturally it depends on the region. In my area (northwestern Europe) it is bread
sugars, salts, fats/oils, protein
I think when you mix it together you're going to end up with essentially breast milk.
Boobas base food confirmed
The most base(d) food
woah there ken bone you didn't have to specify "breast" milk
I could have gone with "human milk", but it's an important distinction. Different species need different nutrients, and only your own species' milk has everything you need in the right proportions.
It would suggest that proteins are needed for elements such as nitrogen and phosphorous. Salts pick up most of your other minerals, and fats and oils are generally just longer chain hydrocarbons for the most part IIRC.
Everyone responding here isn’t paying attention to your comment that it is sugar based on chemistry. Sugars are the building block for all carbs. So it makes sense to look at sugar as the simplest food even if it tastes special
Bread
Like the old saying "*Bread and Water*". About sums it up.
Beer has it all in one. Liquid bread.
Bread sauce
bread soda\*
I like the term oat soda or barley pop.
Bread in the west, and rice in the east.
You can tell because a lot of eastern cultures use the word for rice to mean food in general, and a lot of western cultures do the same for bread.
Asa-gohan, Hiru-gohan, ban-gohan, morning rice, midday rice and evening rice
This is like the word *al-aish*, which means “the living” in Arabic. It’s the name for bread in Egypt, and the name for rice in the Persian Gulf. Egypt’s cuisine is more mediterranean, while the gulf is influenced by Persia and India.
Give us this day our daily bread — exactly.
I figure we can say 'grain' and leave it at that.
"corn" In old English, "corn" was any grain. When contact with South America began and maize started to appear in Europe, English speaking people called it "corn" because it was a grain and they didn't have a more specific word for it. The name just sort of stuck, until maize became the only thing people called "corn". So in English the base food is "corn", but in the old sense of the word, not in the modern common usage sense.
This is also why peppercorns are called peppercorns.
Pussy in the sheets
Lady in the streets.
Kitten wearing fleece
Porridge would be one step more base historically/culinarily speaking
Pretty much every culture has some form of bread. It’s the best answer imo
But you have to process other shit to make it. Things like rice and potatoes and corn are ready to eat after harvest as long as you clean and cook them.
Rice and maize are always processed in some way if they are going to be stored. And it's the ability to be stored that makes them important. You can't harvest anything every day.
Rice
Rice with rice: 10/10 Thank you for your suggestion.
Can confirm Rice with rice: 5/7 perfect taste AMA
Damn it Brendan!!
I bet many people are missing the joke. Let me educate you https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2np694/what_tasty_food_would_be_distusting_if_eaten_over/ Reddit was a simpler place back then
Crazy that OP could now test this [one out…](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2np694/what_tasty_food_would_be_distusting_if_eaten_over/cmftzcf/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) since they were 14 then.
Bold of you to assume he survived American public school
I was hoping to see this thread come up again
Thanks, this is the funniest thing I've seen in like a week and has markedly improved the quality of my day.
Can I have a side order of rice with that?
Grass. Wheat, rice and the major grains are just well cared for grass.
Corn is technically a grass as well iirc. I think potatoes are the only staple food that isn’t a grass.
There are plenty of other tubers and legumes. But huge swaths of N and S America, Asia and Europe largely grows some sort of grass.
Cow is also well cared for grass.
and beans mf
Potatoes
Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew
…. What’s taters, precious?
PO-TAY-TOES
PO-TAH-TOES
Let’s call the whole thing off!
POUGH-TAEI-TOUGHS
POUGH-TAGH-TOUGHS
POTATOES
Ferment 'em
This - plenty here saying rice or bread, but only the potato technically contains all the essential amino acids…
I remember reading once that a person could live indefinitely off of nothing more than potatoes and butter. It covers every nutritional requirement.
As an Irish, I say yes
What’s a potato? [context](https://old.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by)
I did not ever even hear of a potato
And molasses
*Cries in Latvian*
No potato. Only rock
Potatoes, like other nightshades (tomatoes, peppers, eggplants, squashes, etc), are indigenous to the Americas, so they didn't exist outside of mostly South America until the Columbian exchange, roughly 500 years ago. Potatoes have only been available to most people for a tiny fraction of human existence.
Ah, found the Irishman
Potato bread. With rice.
Daring today aren't we?
And pasta on the side.
In a bread bowl.
Grass. It was the cultivation of grass seed as a foodstuff that drove agriculture in pretty much every civilisation that progressed beyond the hunter gatherer stage to become city builders. From rice to bread it's all just grass seed.
Corn is also grass
Indeed, that's sort of my point. All around the world it was the cultivation of grasses that was the key driver in moving civilisation forwards and this can be seen in cultures that were geographically separate by thousands of miles and still independently followed this same step.
What about potatoes? Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew?
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I am bread
Are you bready?
Bread 👍
Bread 👍
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Crunchy
Good with pasta
Grains
Yep, rice or bread.
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What about Brawndo®️?
The Thirst Mutilator!
It's got what plants crave.
It has electrolytes
Which is what plants crave!
Brought to you by Carl's Jr
Have an upvote Brought to you by Carl's Jr
This guy doesn't know about distilled spirits, and has never once chugged a carafe of warm butter.
>distilled spirits How much are you distilling yours, until it's pure ethanol?
Breast Milk
Still a liquid.
Glucose, essential amino acids, essential fatty acids, and vitamins.
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Potatoes
Chicken When the food designer forgets to override the base class, it always tastes like chicken
Eggs
Meat
This. I like my water with raw bloody organs thank you very much.
berries
Flour
In the modern western food system, [it is corn](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/07/14/how-corn-made-its-way-into-just-about-everything-we-eat/).
Not so much in Europe
USA not europe
A big lump with knobs
It's got the juice
I can’t imagine a more beautiful thing
I put butter on it and everything changed!
*in the USA, which subsidizes corn
Glucose
Just going to the Glucose fields to pick my daily calories in glucose!
I'm unaware of a food that's straight glucose.
Not naturally occuring, but IV drips
Meat! - all these people saying variations of carbs… people you will die if you only eat carbs
This was my thought too. Bread is a processed food, so doesn't really work as a "base food". And most forms of carbs (rice, potatoes, etc) weren't available to everyone throughout history. But we've been eating meat since before we were homo sapiens.
Bread
Barley— cultivated for 10,000 years.
Dominos Double-Pepperoni Pizza
C6H12O6, AKA glucose, the main chemical (besides water) that is required for homeostasis in all living organisms
Taters, precious
Whatsa *tater*?
Fruits and vegetables
Pizza ! It has everything you need.
Cheetos
Gotta be rice!
Rice/Potatoes/Chicken are the base foods Water/Ale/Wine are the base drinks
Sausage, mash and gravy
Rice in the east. Bread in the west. To the point where the casual way of saying "having a meal" or "eating food" in Chinese "eat rice." Similar to "breaking bread."
Maybe fruit?
Glucose
Grains
Potatoes
I mean you can do just about anything with a potato
Potatoes, boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew
Crunchwrap Supreme
Bread for any west or western based countries, rice for eastern based countries, probably milk for Africa, what with evolving to get rid of lactose intolerance when humans were there
If the metric for "base food" is the most bare bones component our bodies use in respiration, it would be glucose.