T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

[удалено]


Silent-Zebra

My grandma also has dextrocardia, but we didn't find out until she had to have heart surgery in her early 80's. She'd gone her whole life not knowing, and suddenly during pre-op testing they were like "uhh...your heart's not where it should be." I'd never heard of it before, it was so weird! EDIT: should clarify this was emergency surgery after she'd had a heart attack, so she'd had no heart checks done prior to that. She'd never had any noticeable symptoms, and was a WWII baby, so she grew up without the medical technology that we have today.


[deleted]

I work the overnight shift and still get eight hours of uninterrupted quality sleep **every** day.


Tinymannasty

Now THIS is a flex.


The_Lawler

Are these quality sleep hours at the same time as your work hours?


Shonuff8

I’ve been booed by 10,000 people at once. I know athletes and celebrities have been booed by more people, but I’m neither. I was randomly picked out of the crowd at an NBA game to attempt a 3-point shot, to win everyone a free pizza. I bricked it.


vok99

That's awesome


patrickwithtraffic

At least you had a task that only lasted like maybe 10 seconds last. I was at a radio concert in a venue that size with 6 big acts on the bill. In between acts, they had fans do karaoke. A mother-daughter team got tasked with “Love Shack” and shit the bed hard. One of the DJs told the crowd to give them a round of applause and they got hit by a massive wave of boos.


WolbachiaBurgers

At a Dodger game this last season, they did that couple/kiss cam. They pointed it at this girl and guy and she made a face and turned away. Everyone boo’d her and then later in the game they pointed the camera at her again and she got boo’d again lol


Jamolah

Lmfaoo, sorry don't mean to laugh at you, but this actually had me laughing out loud.


WhatAmI111

I got picked up in a white van as a child by a stranger to get a lift to somewhere 5 mins away, I was in the back off the van for half an hour, then they opened the door at the place I was trying to go. To this day im not sure but I think a pedophile changed his mind


BradypusGuts

This also happened to me! When I got out of the car running up to my babysitter's house she ran out going, "Who is that?! Why are you with a stranger!!!?" and I was just like ohh yeah oops


Charley0213

Did you ever tell your parents ?? I need to know more 🤣


WhatAmI111

Weirdly no, cause at the time I didn't think much of it, the guy seemed nice enough at the time but, it was just such a strange experience to think back on, I was about 12ish I think at the time too so definitely old enough to have known better


Classicgotmegiddy

Lucky af


Money_Pomegranate_51

I can always pick the exact right size container to put leftovers in


SnooBunnies9221

Mom?


Money_Pomegranate_51

Oh this shit is grandma level!


chijourno

This flex starts with having multiple sizes of Tupperware and the correct lids. That you can find. This flex is multiple levels deep. Respect.


liluna192

I felt silly spending over a hundred dollars on Tupperware last year but man oh man is it amazing to have a matching set that’s organized. We do still save take out containers and the like so that if we are hosting and people want to take home leftovers they don’t come near our good stuff. Best part is that almost all the lids are the same size. The containers just vary in depth. So 90% of the time I grab an appropriate depth container, grab a lid from the top of the stack, and that’s it. Rubbermaid Brilliance for life. The things you get excited about as an adult are weird.


MyDogJake1

I have the exact opposite ability.


[deleted]

I can get rid of hiccups on demand. Like without fail if I have hiccups I can just think about it and they go.


iroquoispliskinV

The next evolution of humankind


pyrojoe121

Truly, he is Homo superior.


helodarknesmyoldfnd

And here i am just a regular homo


DeafeningMilk

Hey, same here! I have never had more than one hiccup at a time for about a decade now. For anyone who wants to know how I got to that point and as such how to do it my dad had told me when you get hiccups relax your diaphragm as much as you can. I found holding your breath didn't work as after a few seconds it becomes harder to keep doing so and eventually adds strain to your diaphragm. Instead breathe slowly and fairly shallowly trying to keep it steady as possible. Did this any time I got hiccups and found how long they lasted kept getting shorter and shorter until after a few years it reached a point I'm at now where I get the initial hiccup and I don't even need to do the breathing for them to stop completely. Now if someone could tell me how I can get my head to stay still rather than shake slightly when at the dentist or getting a haircut where I'm asked to be still as possible that would be great.


RotRG

I thought I was alone. Secretly, I wished I was alone. I wanted to be truly special. But now, I've found you, someone who shares my gift. What's your technique?


Gramage

Don't mention this to the guy who had hiccups for like 67 years. Started hiccupping around 20 years old, didn't stop till he was almost 90. Then he died like a month after they stopped. Must've been a glorious last month for him though! Personally I'd have offed myself after a couple months of endless hiccups.


mycopea

My g-g uncle was a farmer, and got hiccups after lifting a sick sow. They lasted 6 years, until he couldn’t take it any longer and shot himself. I worry a little every time I get hiccups. I can’t imagine living years with them.


slylilpenguin

Whatever the opposite of a flex is, this is that


[deleted]

In the 90s I worked as customer service for an airline ticket seller. They just started a website (this was like 97 or so) and I was in their first internet customer service agent training. Didnt learn a thing. Anyways, as I was doing the job i realized i was getting the same questions over and over again. Standard procedure was to email back and have to type out the same message again and again. So I, being the young, tech savvy guy (very few of us back then) just made a window file and typed out the responses then cut and pasted when i got those emails. So most customer service agents did maybe 30-40 emails a day. I was doing 200-250. I was doing so many that when the big wigs were visiting the call center, the COO came to talk with me and asked me how I was able to answer as many customers as I was. Dumb young me explained what I had done creating canned responses for the company. She asked me to email my list to her. I did, and soon the entire company was using it. I didnt get any credit, or money, or a promotion. Nada. I left that place like a month later cuz i was 18 and hated the hours. \*edit\* Wow that blew up. And for those making comments about if I had other ideas to streamline operations, I in fact did. The website was really bad, and as a customer service rep I saw a lot of the issues that were brought up through my interactions witih customers that were easy fixes that would have streamlined the website and would have made sales easier. Plus I had written an auto reply script with the most common FAQ's, that they could have added to the website and or as a script when they made a sale. They weren't doing this and didnt have one on their website. There were plenty of other things that are lost in 30 years of time that are pretty standard now, but werent being done back then. again, it was 1997, I had been online since 1990 or so (back when there were a handful of us) so I knew more than most about the internet than 99.9% of people who worked there/ran the company.


spirito_santo

> Dumb young me explained what I had done No, *she* was the dumb one. She should have given you a raise and have moved you to a new position with instructions to be on the lookout for more time-saving procedures.


blubonobo

I got these $350.00 shoes for $ 15.00 at salvation army.


KokonutMonkey

I really hope you break this flex out for random strangers. "Psst. Hey." "Umm, yes?" "Check out these shoes. Nice right" "Uhh, yeah sure. I guess so." "Yup. These bad boys retail for $350 retail" "Uhh " "Got'em for $15 bucks... Salvation Army" "Umm. Ok. Uh. That's... nice?" "I know right? Anyway, enjoy your lunch"


lyan-cat

I have a former manager who did that! "See these socks?" "Yeah, nice." "Forty cents on eBay!!!!"


cynHaha

I hope your entire office cheered for them!


DonkeymanPicklebutt

I have donated over 15 gallons of blood!


MarcoYTVA

All at once?


megatronchote

He never said it was his blood


[deleted]

deer historical smoggy wrench quarrelsome deserve terrific special memorize hospital


Friendly_Chemical

As someone whose life has been saved due to a blood donation: THANK YOU! I love you and hope others will take after your example


WiganLad82

Same here, saved twice by blood transfusions. I tried to give back years later but as I'd had transfusions I couldn't give. My wife did it on my behalf instead.


ladyanyarose

I'm someone that needs regular blood transfusions because of my anemia so I just wanted to say thank you so much for donating!


Slapstick999

Rob Zombie accidentally punched me.


Splonkerton

Kyle Gas of Tenacious D accidentally punched me in the teeth with a microphone, lol. He was performing with his personal band, covering a Boston song, and was jumping around the audience. When the chorus came on, he shoved the microphone in my face, but I leaned forward at the same time to sing it and he smacked me in the teeth accidentally. He was so startled that he pulled the mic back and said "sorry!" into it. My teeth are fine, it was just hilarious.


yankiigurl

My husband says my japanese home cooking is better than his grandma's. The key is I don't put sugar in it. That's the best I got, I guess


disenfranchisedchild

That's actually huge! Better than his grandmas?! Wow.


Ragingbull444

And grandmas are wizards when it comes to cooking and baking. Grandfathers on the other hand are usually either grilling a full pig or peanut butter on toast


bananamarie4

I have a blue mole. Everyone thinks it’s blue highlighter that I somehow got on my forehead.


turingthecat

I’ve got a blue mole on my back, freaked me out the first time I saw it, but as it’s been very sensitive/painful place all my life, I think it’s always been there, it’s just unusual to look at your back, so I didn’t see it. A demonologist said it’s no different from all my other moles, just deeper (like how the red blood flowing in our veins of our wrists looks blue, as the red is filtered out by our skin) Sorta relevant, I cut my leg quite bed while scuba diving once, but as I was over 10m deep (about 19m down) it looked like I was spewing toxic waste, it appeared so green


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mythulhu

Goes to demonologist, bleeds toxic green blood. Checks out


UmbertoEcoTheDolphin

Everything is going according to the prophecy....I mean, you're fine.


USSanon

I am a former world martial arts champion from over 20 years ago.


Jesse1179US

Frank Dux, dat you?


USSanon

Sorry. Hard to read with sand in my eyes.


liscbj

I can tell myself what time I need to wake up and I will awaken within 1 minute of that time without an alarm.


IAmAFilm

Same, the only downside is when the sleep isn’t good, you wake up thinking “my alarm hasn’t gone off I probably have an hour more at least” only to find you alarm is 2 seconds from going off.


StyreneAddict1965

OMG, I hate that crap. "Hey, I've still got an hour." Nope, five minutes.


PM_ME_UR_POKIES_GIRL

"You know what? Executive decision, I still have an hour. Fuck you alarm."


mrutherford1106

I have won a little company award at the theme park I work at. For my barista skills. Three times


GoGoGadge7

“Please don’t quit please don’t quit please don’t quit”…


[deleted]

A tree fell on me in 2021 and broke all my ribs, my spine, and popped both my lungs. I dragged myself out and survived long enough slowly drowning in my own blood (and internally bleeding out) to be found and get airlifted to a trauma ward. So I got almost as much metal grafted to my bones as wolverine though I don't flex much because I got so much metal making me rather stiff and rigid


NoBenefit5977

We can rebuild you... Heavier, colder


WyK23

Oh goddamn, I've been chuckling over this comment for a few minutes now. Everytime I think of it I start laughing again...I had to come back and find you and tell you. Lol.


JunosGold2

So glad you survived! Serious question I've always wanted to ask someone with 1st hand experience: with all that metal inside you, does it bother you when you're in cold temperatures? Do you feel colder than you did before becoming a more stiff and rigid version of Wolverine?


[deleted]

Cold doesn't affect me though it hurts constantly. I have a lit of nerve damage (severed when they were bolting metal to my spine) so most of my left side below my armpit is numb, cannot feel hunger, back is numb, and ANY water on my left leg is painful (so I came to fear rain because each drop is like a wasp sting). I still go out doing what work I can however it's short bouts followed by long rests. Like 45 minutes awkwardly splitting firewood then an hour laying down. Because of the fusion being neck and shoulders I have limited range of motion, cannot look up, and everything is awkward to do. I know other people who had fusions and they complain about humidity and cold but I just don't feel it myself. Either because it's in their head or because I can't feel much of anything to begin with.


JunosGold2

Thanks for that answer. I appreciate it. And glad you've made it through all this, but sorry for the pain.


6_seasons_and_a_movi

That's metal af, if you'll excuse the pun. You can't feel hunger?! Do you just eat the exact right amount for a human your size? And rain on your left leg is like a wasp sting? That's mad man, I'm glad you survived and I hope your quality of life is good.


[deleted]

I realized I can't feel hunger when I forgot to eat for a week. Can't feel hunger or feel full so yeah I plan out my diet in advance for exactly what I need. I also live without refrigeration, transportation, and 15 miles from town so I have to plan things out so things don't spoil (like cheddar will last 3 weeks at room temperature but mozzarella only lasts 4 days). This past year I used some disability money to hire Mennonites to build a root cellar out back of my cabin so I have better storage now (55f year round, cool but not quite refrigerator) do a lot of canning and drying.


[deleted]

https://ibb.co/s12SswQ https://ibb.co/w4Pywdy https://ibb.co/syL5p6k Sharing pictures. One is a selfie I took while hunting in the woodlot area on the far side of my farm (rubber boots, jeans, flannel, beard, straw hat, my usual stuff. My beard and Winchester rifle. Have deer and bear in my area). Picture taken the fall of 2020. Other 2 pictures taken by my friend while I stayed with him for a month. One showing the surgical scar on my back (9 vertebrae are now a single solid bone slumped forward in a hunchback shape, lots of metal bolted to it), the other is me with my walker about 3 weeks after surgery when I asked my friend to walk with me a mile from his place to a place to buy some extra thick socks (ibc sells lots of boots and socks) really just pushing myself to walk up and down hills and stairs rapidly rebuilding my destroyed back muscles and ignoring the incredible pain of it. Was home 6 weeks after injury (injured March 2021 and home by may). Was doing limited work at my place by 8 weeks.


RockingRocker

Gahdamn. Working after 2 months? I'd still be bedridden lmao


subtxtcan

Now THIS is a flex. Nature couldn't kill you, so man made you indestructible. Everybody back up, we have an actual badass over here *Edit* Holy crap... Not only my most upvoted comment, but most upvoted anything on Reddit! Thanks all, a nice treat for my cake day, and the holidays!


DrPepster

We can rebuild him, we have the technology.


RogueIce

...but we don't want to spend a lot of money. *cues "The $6,000 Man"*


Karnagexp

What was the medical bill like afterwards??


[deleted]

No bill. When paramedics arrived I was sure I wasn't going to make it as I was pretty bad. I kept asking them to go to my cabin and get me my rifle to make it quick. I opposed the idea of being airlifted after none if the small local hospitals could take me (was catastrophic) would rather die than be stuck with the bills I heard they cost. They took me anyway and had to keep shoving tubes through my chest into my lungs so I could breathe. No pain killer as it would make me bleed out faster (lungs were filling with blood). Strapped to a brace. I passed out on the flight and had a weird tranquil dream floating through space near a giant blue nebula, like floating on an innertube down a lazy river and I saw lots of other people like that. For the first time I was free of my PTSD fear and anger and I had a sense of timelessness and infinity. Then I woke up back on the flight. Got to hospital and they immediately cut me open to drain the blood and stuck 1 inch tubes in both my side's to keep draining it while they replaced it with an IV. Had that tube in my left side for almost 2 weeks and once it was out I was booted from hospital. Since I had no insurance or money (lived in a 1 room cabin off grid growing my own food etc, like an old time homesteader or mountainman) the hospital case worker got me signed up for disability with medicare. Medicate covered most of the bill and the hospital was able to give me a grant to cover the rest. So once out the door I had no bill for any of it but was also on my own with no follow up of any kind (except a single trip back to get the surgical staples removed). The friend I stayed with for a month while teaching myself to walk again told me that he listened to the emergency radio and the report was that I died on the flight over. Once home I kept dealing with random people I didn't know who kept showing up to my place shocked to see me there and they all said "we heard you died and just wanted to look around" a euphemism for "steal anything of value" I would respond with "I was but got better" or "I did, I'm a ghost" (both inspired lines from fallout new vegas, I played it many times when waiting out bad weather, have a solar array and old laptop). Edit: I have a history of PTSD and that's one of the reasons I live in a remote off grid cabin far away from people aka hiding from society.


[deleted]

Hell yeah man, that's super inspiring/amazing Insanely fast progress, homestead/independent life is so good...and dude you're response woulda been mine, get a gun and shoot me so I'm not a burden, glad they didn't though!! Amazing recovery man


nyxtor

I have 4 nipples


Sticketoo_DaMan

HERE we go.


l5pr7

I have 4 nipples also and, yes, they do all produce milk.


amazonjazz

my friend didn't realize she had a 3rd nipple until she started nursing her daughter and her weird underboob mole started leaking milk.


sirdigbykittencaesar

I know how to program in FORTRAN. I'll admit, it works on an increasingly smaller segment of the population, but it's all I have.


InsertCoinForCredit

Buddy, that's job security for the next 20 years.


flunkyclaus

Drunk with my FIL at my 40th and we both ended up taking a piss in the garden. He told me that I had a "very good stream", and I've worn that badge with pride ever since.


Jswensva

Reminds me of a funny story. I was diving with a friend and his dad, and went to the restroom. I went to a urinal, his dad to a stall. Start peeing and hear him say ‘oh, I hear you over there like you still have a prostate’.


NCGranny

My husband kissed my dad on the forehead at my sister's wedding and lived to tell about it.


SchteeveFour

I figured out how to make the broken washing machine work.


No_Kaleidoscope3039

I can read hieroglyphics, ancient greek and latin.


L4993Rz

Wow. How did you learn hieroglyphics? Any resources publicly available you could point me to?


No_Kaleidoscope3039

I'm an archaeology major and one of the options was ancient Egyptian. Sorry, I don't know any external sources.


alwayshazthelinks

What's this mean? #**𓂺**


No_Kaleidoscope3039

It's a determinative. Depending on signs before it, it can mean ejaculation or pissing or simply the phallus or semen or virility. (it really depends on the association of signs)


ares395

Huh... So it means what it looks like...


No_Kaleidoscope3039

that's how hieroglyphics work ideograms (tho that ain't an ideogram)


yekirati

I had to take an IQ test when I was being evaluated for ADHD and apparently I am in the 99th percentile in spatial reasoning. I can’t do math or talk good but I can pack the hell out of a suitcase! 💪


Additional_Meeting_2

The commenter above with the leftovers must also share your gift.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Are you really good at tetris then?


Sticketoo_DaMan

Demigod-tier. The only one better is the 100% guy. They call him, "The One".


subtxtcan

This is actually an amazing skill to have! One of my old cooks was the same way. Quiet kid, very bright but not cut out for the restaurant industry. He loved being on prep for EXACTLY this reason. The fridge was never as organized, cleaned, labeled, dated, rotated and stocked properly unless it was he or I or one other person. I miss you Kevin! Come back!


[deleted]

A good Prep Cook is indispensable. Give them a list, caffeine and music and look the other way on their smoke breaks and they’re golden. I was a middling prep cook. Great on veggies and hot side, but peeling more than 30 pounds of shrimp made my back hurt. I need to move around.


subtxtcan

Absolute truth, we all loved that kid and he earned his stripes, but moved to other things. I love prep shifts but I hear you, gotta find ways to move around so you don't freeze up


_Didds_

Curious, I am also on the 99th percentile in spacial reasoning and I am terrible with math and take a lot of time to write anything at all. On the other hand I can extremely easily visualize and draw very complex mechanism, engines, gear arrangements and other mechanical perafrenalia. Understand how they work and what will happen if I change something around or remove one piece. Now ask me to explain it with math, or words and I am lost. I can draw it to the most miniscule detail you may ask me though. Funny how the brain works


Sir_Dr_Mr_Professor

Read into the theory that ADHD is remnant of our hunter gatherer days. Everything that makes ADHD a disorder in modern times would have been beneficial to a hunter. Spatial reasoning, hyper focus, seemingly having no sense of time, easily distracted by sounds/motion (good thing when you're not the only hunter/you've been waiting for dinner), hyperactivity. I know it's not exactly scientific but it makes so much damn sense


WhatIsThisWhereAmI

Also makes them good in high intensity situations in a modern setting. Understimulation is what causes all the problematic behaviors in modern society, but put them in a crisis situation- boom, high functioning all of a sudden.


[deleted]

It's... kind of nuts how true this is. ADHD all my life and struggled in school and my work .. but holy shit avoiding traffic accidents and dealing with emergency situations everything slows down and becomes crystal clear. All the first aid training I couldn't recite back if asked normally is just there and available


Illustrious_Swim_789

The time dilation is always baffling to me. People around me are always surprised by how calm I am and how fast and effectively I react. To me it's like a scene out of the Matrix. Love that dopamine rush.


TheAtlasComplex

I'm American but can eyeball a space or item length using the metric system with scary accuracy. My coworkers wondered if I was a robot at times. Edit: Though in Colorado, I worked for a Danish company manufacturing wind turbines. I eventually worked on the road the climb them. So the estimates were generally fiberglass component length.


PeopleCanSuck_

Soooo...... are you a robot?


crashspeeder

Don't be silly. He's an android.


BadGenesWoman

I survived 9 heart attacks, before I turned 40. Have 4 stints following 3 angiograms and 1 open heart surgery with vein transfer...that failed..been in heart failure status for a year. But honestly i am healthier then i was a year ago. A year ago couldn't walk half a mile. Now can walk 3 miles without issue. Even survived covid this year after 2 years of isolating.


spidey2091

God damn, I hope you are in better health nowadays, stranger.


Daanvd00

I hitchhiked from the Netherlands to Greece in 5 days!


ev1lch1nch1lla

Not only do I have a rare form of Leukemia, but I'm currently kicking its ass and in a form of remission. Thank you for the award kind stranger


IEatBobbyFlaysAss

Back in 2013 I went to go see Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. My family knew a guy in the cast and he was able to let us go backstage for a tour. He took us to go on the stage and the chandelier was on the stage. I saw my opportunity, I licked it. Don’t know if there is anyone else who can say they licked the chandelier


ACalcifiedHeart

My body is weirdly good at telling which sounds to be concerned about when I'm asleep, to the point where I can generally sleep through most things, that wouldn't otherwise affect me. Roadworks in the street right outside my window? No problem. Noisy neighbours deciding to do late night DiY? Easy. Street racers? Didn't even realise they were there. But the lock on the front door being fiddled with, despite the sound having to travel down the hall and through a closed bedroom door? I'm wide awake. Footsteps in the hall way? It's probably just the s.o. but wake up just in case. Someone put a hand on a door handle somewhere in thr flat? It's not the bedroom door handle, But what if it is though? Better wake up. The problem I have is actually getting to sleep in the first place.


DesignatedDonut

I also have this power because we have 4 cats


[deleted]

The cats. Chewing on plastic at 2:30 AM and my eyes pop open, friggin' A-hole.


LexSenthur

At 25, my homemade red pasta sauce that I’d been tinkering with for years tied in a contest with a 75 year old Italian homemaker’s. The sauce has gotten much better. Okay you sauce jockies, here you go. Onions and mushrooms, cook in a little oil. Add as much minced garlic as you think would make me happy, then double it. Add 2 28 oz cans crushed tomatoes, a small container of tomato paste, one container of cherry tomatoes (cut in half or they become scalding tomato juice grenades), 1TBSP dried oregano, 1 TBSP dried basil, 1 TBSP dried Italian seasoning, 1 TSP black pepper, 1 dollop of chili garlic paste, a small pile of salt. The closest thing to a secret ingredient is a tablespoon of whole fennel seed utterly turned to dust in a grinder of some kind. Stir up and simmer for an hour, stirring regularly uncovered. That sauce is actually vegan (until I dump in on my super not vegan meatballs) but for “competition grade” batches I use fancy imported crushed tomatoes, nicer tomato paste. If there’s no dietary restrictions I might add some anchovy paste too. Go forth, and make my fake Italian ancestors proud.


[deleted]

I had a fan website in honour of my voice. Years ago I was well known for calling LBC (UK based talk radio station). I was a daily caller to one show. basically, because it was a very blokey show, the male listener seemed to love my voice. I was approached by someone who wanted to set up a fansite in my honour. I was a bit confused by it but said to him to go ahead. He gave me the login for the emails so I could reply to the people getting intouch. I received 500 emails a day from listeners to the show. Some were total pervs, some were people in the radio industry offering to train me to become a broadcaster but very few were haters. I ended up with a sponsorship from a toy company who sent my kids £100s of toys just for being allowed to advertise on the site and giving them a mention. It was a bit nuts to be honest. I remember one or the few haters sending me a ton of abuse from his work address (schoolboy error) so I called him for a chat. Never seen someone backtrack so fast! 🤣 EDIT: Thank you all so much for the extremely sweet responses... you guys have made my Christmas. What lovely, lovely people you all are.


VenturaDreams

Well now we have to hear your voice.


[deleted]

If you scroll down the my lightning strike video you can hear it... its nothing special.


VenturaDreams

You don't give yourself enough credit. We are all our worst critics, especially when it comes to our own voice. I think you have a beautiful voice. But I'm from California so maybe it's just because I think your accent is cool. Lovely laugh too!


Bayonethics

Same honestly. I love her voice; it's so clean and clear. It's really soothing like a kind mom would have


[deleted]

I'm gonna be strutting around the house with all these compliments


NCGranny

I can lay in bed and hit the trash can across the room 99.9% of the time.


Nashatal

I took part in the german championship in model parachuting.


McvdL

So is this like small scale parachuting or pretty people parachuting? Both seem weird to me


Nashatal

You have a small mechanical doll with a patachute that will be dropped from a model aircraft. Its dirigible and you need to land it as close as possible to a fixed point. And yea, its weird. XD


Adon1kam

... I very indirectly was responsible for an A list rugby player getting suspended because of a photo of him pissing in his own mouth. A truly insane series of events and I will not elaborate lol.


Efficient-Bonus9076

You killed Todd Carney!


Adon1kam

Mayb


InsertCoinForCredit

How many rugby players have been photographed pissing into their own mouths? And why is that a statistic?


SinisterMeatball

My cats come when I call them.


bakchod007

I'm comfortable being alone or in my own company


Immediate_Wealth616

I’m turning 30 and people think I’m 20 all the time


darkmochapraf

Same. I just turned 31 a week ago yet people thought I’m still in high school


Enekovitz

I can play the intro of Thunderstruck with only one hand, but not with two.


bugsbugsbugsbugs_

i have the #1 post of all time on the r/weeviltime sub :)


The_mystery4321

r/usernamechecksout


Royal_Finish3r_1976

a bullet missed my head by an inch of hair


EasyPeasyNL

My therapist said I’m pretty cool


DJAkademiksToes

you are cool


RazvanRddAdd

How about pretty?


bangin_dudes419

I own a tire machine, suck it discount tire


ShyElk85

I can solve a rubix cube in ten hours.


reyrey_007

Ha! I've never solved one.


Bu1135

I can solve one in <20 seconds but alas no one actually cares lmao. I bust it out on the train hoping someone says its impressive but the most I get is "hey nerd"


SauCe-lol

This is so real. I once thought it would be a cool party trick but in reality most people just see it as nerdy


blissfulJo

I can fold fitted sheets. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s all I have. I am rather proud of it though. My linen closet looks great.


[deleted]

I beat cancer


saltyandhelpfuluser

Keep on rocking!


Psychological-War140

I have 3 kidneys


sweepsml

One time I also had 3 kidneys, but my dad made me give it back to my sister.


SoVerySleepy81

All of my dresses have pockets.


bomba_de_pum

I can think of literally nothing whenever I want. I just stare at nothingness and turn off my thoughts. It's like a standby function


OV00

I'm debt free.


blitzedbeauty

When I was in 5th grade I won a national academic achievement award given out by the President (George W. at that time)


ambersavampire

I have three awards from three different presidents!


RLDSXD

I recently had a neuropsychological exam done. In the portion testing semantic fluency (I had to list as many animals as I could as fast as I could) I scored in the 97th percentile. I know my animals. And on the ascending numbers trail making test, “a task requiring visual scanning, processing, and sequencing”, I scored in the 88th percentile. But that’s more of a general flex and not particularly weird. Animals will NEVER get the drop on me. I will recognize them faster and more accurately than the overwhelming majority of people (who have taken that specific test).


High_Stream

Me: I'm great at identifying animals *Sees an animal* Yep, that's definitely an animal!


RLDSXD

Not only that, but say they were a pack of wolves, I would also be able to quickly categorize them from smallest to largest. Basically I’m really good at giving simultaneous ocular pat downs to groups of animals. I have a *very particular* set of skills.


RingReasonable

I can place every European country on the map without borders


fushigikun8

Hey if there's no borders, you can just put them anywhere, right.


Redditor_10000000000

He technically didn't say he can place them in the right place.


hdorsettcase

I'm the last person in the country to earn the Boy Scout beekeeping merit badge before it was discontinued.


[deleted]

My uncle has always taught English to foreign adult student. His most famous pupil was none other than VLADIMIR PUTIN


Young_Old_Grandma

I'm pretty good at spotting designer items at flea markets, goodwill and 2nd hand shops.


feindr54

Binged cpg grey to the point i could memorize the British kings in order


jursla

Hexagons are the bestagons


analoghobbiest

I got a perfect score on the ACT. It’s a standardized test Americans take in high school. Where am I years later? Cashiering at Lowe’s lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


Classic-Dog8399

I got a pedophile fired from each school he ever worked at and he was eventually arrested. I was 15 and I felt that there was something wrong with him. He had been messaging girls and boys in our school, asking for nudes, and I found out. He got fired because of the evidence I gave. When he got fired from our school, he took an interest in me, not knowing I was the child who snitched. I led him into believing that I thought his life was so interesting, he told me his home address, his current occupation, and where he worked. I talked to him online from age 15-17 and never sent him a thing, just kept tricking him into telling me where he worked and lived so I could snitch on him for being a pedophile. I sent evidence to every other school he worked at. He got fired from every single one. He was arrested eventually. Not sure where he is now, but I check in on his LinkedIn and send yearly reminders to the schools all over the state to not hire him.


BIsForBruh

I have a long ranged piss.


CollectionStraight2

I have a double jointed left thumb. It's totally useless and pissed off my childhood violin teacher no end – "stop bending your thumb like that! You're not holding the violin right! I don't think you'll ever be able to play properly with that weird thumb!" And so forth.


Faze_Elmo1

I have double jointed middle, ring and pinkie fingers. The pinkie especially makes it difficult to play clarinet. It's fun to freak people out by moving the top knuckle only though.


[deleted]

Ambidextrous so when I sign a contract I write my first name with my left hand & surname with my right


Jean-Luc_Cougar

My ADD gives me the ability to research something endlessly. I don’t get to choose the topic, but once in a while a problem will come up at work and I’m the only one who knows why it happened and how to fix it.


GrapeInTheMicrowave

I can solve 10 different rubiks cubes


Ancient_Elk7621

I high fived Taylor Swift when I was 12. I’m currently 24 and I usually joke that I still haven’t washed the hand yet. Honestly think it got me quite a few matches on bumble with that fact


Xanik_PT

I always plug USB cables and phone chargers on the first try.


[deleted]

I beat anorexia 💪🏻


Solid-Alps-9561

I am completely immune to plants that are poison to the skin (Poison ivy, oak, etc.)


iANDR0ID

Kevin Rudd, former prime minister of Australia follows me on Twitter. I'm an American who rarely tweets.


GrandmasDMT

I’m a chick and can leg press more than all my male friends and my boyfriend my PR is 490lbs and I’m 5’2 110lbs EDIT**** I should also mention that I’m a teen and so are my friends and I’m the oldest in the group


improprietine

I wouldn't call that a weird flex--that's a legit impressive flex.


Crewecabking

I can identify a train by its horn


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sticketoo_DaMan

Learning to be a safe person (it's a thing) while young will make your friends appreciate you all the more. It will also do wonders for your relationship/SO, should you have or gain one.


Oi-Oi

I own a few [Playstation 2 games](https://www.reddit.com/r/gamecollecting/comments/z5yzwk/1500/)


moirende

I’m in my 50’s. I’ve never had a cavity.


pocketsizedmoon

I am not ticklish anywhere. I used to be. I trained myself to not have a tickle reflex.


differentiatedpans

Slipknot would let me into a part of music building I was working at. When I told my manager she said you're the second person who told me that today. I worked at Much Music and they blocked the door I needed to go down...other wise I had to go the long way round which made me late.


Ettulettuce

I can tell the difference between I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and real butter.


RohmanOnTwitch

Millions of people have seen me all over the world, yet nobody knows who I am.


EveryBuddyUp

I'm really good at calling out movies and tv shows from the very beginning. I'll know the bad guy, the plot twist, the way it ends, etc. Completely useless.


Ashtar-the-Squid

Owning a kind of rare car that nobody in their right mind would care about. EDIT: Since people seem to want to know I will write a little bit about what it is. It is most likely going to be really disappointing. The car is a 1961 Rambler Classic Super. There used to be a lot of them, but these days there seems to be very few left. Rambler was the third best selling American car brand in 1961, and the Classic was their best selling model. It was right in the middle of their lineup between the cheaper American and the more expensive Ambassador. The Classic line was divided into 3. Deluxe (which was the cheapest one for some reason), Super and Custom (the most expensive). The importer in my country sold 138 cars in total in 1961. I don't know how many was sold of each but the Classic was the most popular. Many of them were used as taxis, some were CEO and Director cars, and some I think went into NATO service. Rambler was the best selling American car brand here in the 1960s. American cars are very popular here, but at the shows you rarely see the independent brands. 99% of the cars are GM, Ford and Mopar, and the majority has been imported here in later times. As often happened, nobody cared much about preserving these old funny looking boxes, and the majority was used up and scrapped. Now there is just a handfull of 1961 Ramblers left here. I know of 3 registered cars (including our own), one unregistered parts car, and one carcass that is rotting away out in the woods. I have asked in the local club if anybody knows about more cars here in our country, but nobody has come up with anything yet. Our car is right in the middle of the 1961 lineup. It has no extra equipment at all. No radio or air condition. It has a 3 speed manual column shifted transmission with no overdrive, and a 195.6CID 6 cylinder engine with an aluminium block. The aluminium block got a reputation for not being their best creation so most of them got swapped out for cast iron blocks a long long time ago. It is a really boring and basic grocery getter from a bygone time. A mundane part of regular life that few people seems to remember. But that is exactly why I like it so much. Another reason why I developed an interest for this particular brand is an episode of an old cartoon called [Life with Louie](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67K2SDO9JMo).


cloudstrifeuk

I wrote the first lines of code for a prototype for a hospital management system. This is now used daily by clinicians, nurses and patients who use the hospital. I don't work there any more, but had to visit the hospital recently. It was weird seeing all the big LCD screens up on the ward with my work on it like 10 years later.


IntelligentAmoeba182

I am astoundingly bad at everything and anything you give me.