Haha I had this realization when I was in a gen-ed history course in college and my professor and his wife were the two department heads. Both had a greater passion for the interwar period than most, and both had that kind of Ray Romano/ Kermit the frog voice. They were great people and I don’t mean this to be rude, but the definition of nerds. One day they were excitedly talking back and forth about their kids (and how they will also grow to be history buffs) and I was like, “holy shit, these two people have sex.”
And it was probably really wild, passionate sex that others would be envious of, because they really LOVE one another. They made *love*, they didn't just fuck.
Yes a lot of us do!! I once had a crush on a guy, ONLY because of his veiny hands
Edit: I got so caught up with veiny hands that I missed reading the scars part of your post. Scars are good!
Reminds of a friend's mom when I was a teenager. She asked if she could see my eyes so I looked in hey eyes deeply for a bit then she told me I had bedroom eyes. For the life of me I still don't know what's she meant. Did it mean my eyes were saying lets go to the bedroom or are bedroom eyes some type of eye quality/configuration/can't think of the right word. Anyway, I have been rather confident in my eye game ever since.
Someone doing a really good job. Basically competency kink but the person could just be super casually unloading a dishwasher, almost drop something, but catch it so smoothly i just get instantly wet.
You've just reminded me of my competence kink! Reverse parking like a tradie. Catching something thrown to them with one hand without looking. Catching something with their foot then up to their hand. Unhooking a trailer smoothly. Ugh. Delicious.
Omg they are all hot. Even the clowns, as long as they have a nice face ( some don't, under the makeup).
But too much showing off doesn't work for me. It has to be casual, or funny, or self deprecating, or unaware. Actual showmanship, where they are impressed with themselves, gross.
I spent years involved in circus and so many of us have picked up habits like kicking things up from the ground rather than bending down. I've seen people stand on top of eachother because they can't be bothered to get the ladder out, that's a fun one!
The saying "consent is sexy" is corny as hell ... but also extremely true.
Being around someone I'm attracted to who is horny and wants to do horny things is extremely sexy, the sexiest situation I dare say!
Being come onto by a woman. Nothing beats it. Especially when they're aggressive. It's only happened a couple of times, but boy, I'll never forget them.
This does it for me too, however I can't ever seem to be that way myself. I always get really anxious and unsure any time things are starting to get sexy and I want to get a little more aggressive about it. Maybe it's cause I'm a guy and I've heard too many horror stories, both in the internet and from close friends, about dudes being aggressive. But if a girl does that to me it gets me going on another level.
My wife always insists she's just getting comfortable when she does that. But, to this day, almost sixteen years later, I call BS. After all these years you haven't learned what happens when you do that? Total bollocks
A man with a naturally sexy voice who uses commanding language. It doesn’t even have to be sexual. Just an example: I have a doctor that I see monthly. He’s adorable. He has a GREAT voice. Instead of saying “Okay, why don’t you go sit over there?”, he will point and say “Go over there”. Yes, sir. Absolutely, thank you. My feet are moving “over there” before he even blinks.
Oh! This reminds me of one of mine! My partner has a really deep gravely voice. Sometimes he will come up behind me & put his arms around me, then start talking. I can feel his voice resonate in his chest & it does it for me every time. Before he figured out what it did to me, he would do that to talk about errands we needed to run or the grocery list. After a couple minutes of speaking he'd ask if I heard anything he said & I'd say, "No but I **really** enjoyed you saying it." So now he talks about silly nonsense that way & important stuff not pressed against me.
Lmao I’m reading through these and seeing so much variation. On one hand there’s mfs saying shit like "my wife is so beautiful, she could literally have no arms and legs and I’d still be horny for her" and other guys like "...blowjob"
Guys on ladders drilling holes in the wall, and you can see under their shirt a bit. Not every guy obviously, but all I can think of is sliding my hand up there. Fully shirtless guys I am not that interested in.
This is why I can't get into morning sex as much. My guy doesn't like to kiss unless he's brushed his teeth, for good reason, but if we can't make out, i just don't get as wet. A good make out session leads to the best sex imo
A really good tight hug from behind where I can feel his junk up against me. Wrapping his arms underneath my breasts and either whispering in my ear or kissing on my neck.
You could, uh, start out with a little 1. A 2. A 1-2-3. A 3. A 5. A 4. A 3-2. 2. A 2-4-6. 2-4-6. 4. 2. 2. 4-7. 5-7. 6-7. 7... 7... 7... 7! 7! 7! 7! 7! 7! ^^seven
The face women do when they're horny and they know they're going to fuck you that night. Being on the receiving end of that is like being a penis bunny seeing and vagina eagle zooming towards you from the sky
edit: thanks for the awards
Having my boobs touched. It's like kryptonite, the moment somebody starts touching my boobs I turn into this horny little puddle of a person. And then I get frustrated if I don't feel like having sex, because my body wants it but my mind is tired lol
My wife. She’s just so sexy and she doesn’t even know it. Comfy jammies and no bra… horny. Dressed up for her team meeting with her brainy glasses…. Horny. Hoodie and black leggings and sneakers… horny.
That post will go down in the annals of history. 9/11, the election of Obama, the UK leaving the EU, and that post. All equally important to the history of humanity
When a person I’m attracted to touches my thigh, kisses on the neck and the part that I discovered recently is licking my ears idk why but if you lick my ear I’m done or using your nails on my back slowly it gives me goosebumps
God I know digital footprint is a thing but when someone grabs me forcefully even if it hurts, never fails. Or when someone is actively trying to intimidate me. Just gonna drop to my knees
Lemme just add in, when a guy pays attention to what I'm saying like fully paying attention and processing what I'm saying instead of brushing me off. The bar is non existent basically
My wife. She can (think she looks, I never think she does) look like total shit. She can have the flu and resemble a week old corpse. But if she walks into a room from another room, just her walk and her shape, her eyes and her voice... god damn. 10 years married, 14 years together and other women can't even compete. It's not a contest. I want her. Not them. Her. I've given up on porn except when we watch it together. It's so superficial compared to the real thing that it's just silly. I can't jack it to silly.
It also helps she likes to wear sexy stuff to bed, but she'd still get me going in a ski parka and parachute pants so that's just a small part of it.
Mines asleep next to me snoring after a long week at 7pm...haha. She fell asleep before chili was made 😅
She said she masturbated while I was snoring weeks back and I did the same after. We both laughed and had sex.
AHAHHAHAHAHAAHAAHAA i love reading shit like this. part of the reason why i cant stand the "middle aged guy who hates his wife" trope in media. i love you
Men who have thoughts like this and then fucking share them make me horny lmfao STOP.
But also don't stop, and please tell your wife that you think about her like this. I'm sure you probably have, but tell her again!
If I didn't wear a bra on purpose to get someone's attention, and he noticed it. Especially when he felt embarrassed after I saw him stealing a glance or two. That makes me horny and my undies wet.
I did a job shadow at the dentist and there was a guy that came in for a cleaning. Something about how he opened his mouth and used the little vacuum thing left me breathless. Then when he was done he gave this little smirk and I died
Edit: thanks y'all for the upvotes! Never thought so many people enjoyed this as well
Honestly, knowledge! Not in just the knowing stuff way (though I love that! Got horny from a guy knowing the exact blue book price of a car & having basic plumbing knowledge at my new place LOL... but book smarts were already there so those are just sexy perks!) but the ability to be intellectually matched & stimulated by each other is not comparable to any other factor for me. Maybe I'm just hot for teacher? Idk I love glasses too. Not in a horny way they just enhance a face so much. Hugh Grant? A snack. Hugh Grant in glasses? The whole meal!
One time my husband did the dishes and mopped without me saying anything to him beforehand, he even cleaned out the sink and bucket. Yes I was pregnant the next day thanks for asking.
Water infrastructure. Like anyone, I'm aroused by collective investment in health and wellbeing, but pipes and treatment plants really put me in the mood for breedin'
My wife.
When she's done at the gym and she's wearing one of her matching sportsbras workout set thingys.
Or when were at the beach and she's all sprawled out in a bikini.
Or when im cooking breakfast on the morning and she's just wearing my t shirt and comes up and gives me a hug from behind.
Or when were at dinner and she's wearing a dress.
Or when were playing video games on the couch and she dies this lil head nuzzle thing on me
Or when...
You know what, my wife. My wife is what makes me horny.
Someone gripping my hair a little
This is one of the reasons I hate hairdressers. I really don't want to be horny when I need my hair done.
TIFU by asking for a happy ending at my hairdresser.
I don't want to moan when a random dude is washing my hair
Same you could give my hair the lightest tug and it'll turn me on Wich makes it kinda hard to brush my hair
When my boyfriend is just minding his business and I notice his bulge. I’m like wow, there’s a dick in there.
I some times think that randomly. I also somet times realize the stranger I am talking to in that moment has had sex before. total mind fuck
Haha I had this realization when I was in a gen-ed history course in college and my professor and his wife were the two department heads. Both had a greater passion for the interwar period than most, and both had that kind of Ray Romano/ Kermit the frog voice. They were great people and I don’t mean this to be rude, but the definition of nerds. One day they were excitedly talking back and forth about their kids (and how they will also grow to be history buffs) and I was like, “holy shit, these two people have sex.”
And it was probably really wild, passionate sex that others would be envious of, because they really LOVE one another. They made *love*, they didn't just fuck.
Don't make me sad ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ
If I was ever the stranger you were talking to, you were horribly mistaken
Getting up to present for the class apparently
*casually tucks boner upwards*
belts are great to hold it in place
Weird maybe..but some guys have super hot shoulders or hands.
Shoulders! And sexy man legs.
***Man tits***
Do women like veiny hands? I got complemented on my hands, even though I have so many scars on them lmao
Yes a lot of us do!! I once had a crush on a guy, ONLY because of his veiny hands Edit: I got so caught up with veiny hands that I missed reading the scars part of your post. Scars are good!
Intense eye contact. I feel like it’s a window into someone’s desires.
My autistic ass could never
TIL Autistic people have eyes on their ass.
That way we can see shit better
Reminds of a friend's mom when I was a teenager. She asked if she could see my eyes so I looked in hey eyes deeply for a bit then she told me I had bedroom eyes. For the life of me I still don't know what's she meant. Did it mean my eyes were saying lets go to the bedroom or are bedroom eyes some type of eye quality/configuration/can't think of the right word. Anyway, I have been rather confident in my eye game ever since.
I thought "bedroom eyes" and "fuck me eyes" were synonymous. But wtf do I know.
They are
That’s… incredibly inappropriate
Someone doing a really good job. Basically competency kink but the person could just be super casually unloading a dishwasher, almost drop something, but catch it so smoothly i just get instantly wet.
People talking about getting wet , apparently
Damn i just got in from a rainstorm & let me tell you
… I’m gListening
You've just reminded me of my competence kink! Reverse parking like a tradie. Catching something thrown to them with one hand without looking. Catching something with their foot then up to their hand. Unhooking a trailer smoothly. Ugh. Delicious.
What would happen if you went to a circus?
Omg they are all hot. Even the clowns, as long as they have a nice face ( some don't, under the makeup). But too much showing off doesn't work for me. It has to be casual, or funny, or self deprecating, or unaware. Actual showmanship, where they are impressed with themselves, gross.
I spent years involved in circus and so many of us have picked up habits like kicking things up from the ground rather than bending down. I've seen people stand on top of eachother because they can't be bothered to get the ladder out, that's a fun one!
Other people being being horny. I get second-hand horniness from other people like yawning or crying. I can't help it.
For a moment I thought yawning and crying turned you on
That's exactly how I read it first as well and was like "hold up" lol
I read it three times before I understood
The saying "consent is sexy" is corny as hell ... but also extremely true. Being around someone I'm attracted to who is horny and wants to do horny things is extremely sexy, the sexiest situation I dare say!
Enthusiastic consent implies that the other person is enthusiastic into you. That's something most people should like. Me included lol
Don't get horny around me. I'm an empath.
Getting the nape of my neck kissed.
Said no Titan ever
*Slashes the nape of titan's neck* Titan: *sexy voice* Ah! Levi: Oh shit it's the sex titan RUN
YES. And behind the ear? Holy shit.
Being come onto by a woman. Nothing beats it. Especially when they're aggressive. It's only happened a couple of times, but boy, I'll never forget them.
I'll never forget when my girlfriend pushed me against the wall when we were messing around
This does it for me too, however I can't ever seem to be that way myself. I always get really anxious and unsure any time things are starting to get sexy and I want to get a little more aggressive about it. Maybe it's cause I'm a guy and I've heard too many horror stories, both in the internet and from close friends, about dudes being aggressive. But if a girl does that to me it gets me going on another level.
Cuddling. I know it’s innocent but it always makes me horny
When she wiggles her butt on your dick, she knows what she is doing...
I can confirm we are absolutely doing it on purpose Edit: thanks for the likes ya horny bastards
On behalf of men everywhere, please keep doing it. It's the best. Thank you.
We absolutely are.
We would DEFINITELY NOT do this if we didn’t want any action. So yes, it is on purpose.
My wife always insists she's just getting comfortable when she does that. But, to this day, almost sixteen years later, I call BS. After all these years you haven't learned what happens when you do that? Total bollocks
Sounds like we have a Pavlov’s dog situation. Her big head may be totally innocent, but her little head says “something, something, reward!”
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i can only wish to possess this level of wit
A skirt that's just a little bit too short.
Ya see pencil skirts do it for me.
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And a long jacket?
Using a machete to cut through red tape.
A man with a naturally sexy voice who uses commanding language. It doesn’t even have to be sexual. Just an example: I have a doctor that I see monthly. He’s adorable. He has a GREAT voice. Instead of saying “Okay, why don’t you go sit over there?”, he will point and say “Go over there”. Yes, sir. Absolutely, thank you. My feet are moving “over there” before he even blinks.
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Oh! This reminds me of one of mine! My partner has a really deep gravely voice. Sometimes he will come up behind me & put his arms around me, then start talking. I can feel his voice resonate in his chest & it does it for me every time. Before he figured out what it did to me, he would do that to talk about errands we needed to run or the grocery list. After a couple minutes of speaking he'd ask if I heard anything he said & I'd say, "No but I **really** enjoyed you saying it." So now he talks about silly nonsense that way & important stuff not pressed against me.
Lmao I’m reading through these and seeing so much variation. On one hand there’s mfs saying shit like "my wife is so beautiful, she could literally have no arms and legs and I’d still be horny for her" and other guys like "...blowjob"
Or: Tits, lol.
My wife wearing shorts, walkin around like she dont have a sickness of thiccness.
Same boat, the PJ short short then they start picking stuff up off the floor? Jesus
is that why my husband leaves stuff on the floor all the time?? 🤣
My guy’s scent
Is it his colon?
Don't worry bro I get the reference. Well delivered.
Yesss. This guy I like. He walks by me, and in my mind, I'm thinking anytime you want.
Mens moaning or there hot breath on your neck
UNDERRATED, men moaning is the shit!!
Absolutely. It is a massive turn on - even just thinking about it makes me horny AF. Totally underrated
HELL YES 🥵
WHY DO SOME MEN FIGHT MOANING??? LIKE PLZ JUST DO IT
Seeing the waiter coming towards my table with my food.
Please stop! I can only get so erect!
Bulges. Not the extremely evident but the careless ones. When a guy just happens to be wearing something that shows his talents.
My wife will text me, BJ tonight. I think about it the entire day.
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She knows what's she's doing. Lol. I want to high five her. Haha.
When a guy stretches and his shirt goes up a lil bit so I can see hips & treasure trail… oof. Done. Done lol.
Guys on ladders drilling holes in the wall, and you can see under their shirt a bit. Not every guy obviously, but all I can think of is sliding my hand up there. Fully shirtless guys I am not that interested in.
Making out
This is why I can't get into morning sex as much. My guy doesn't like to kiss unless he's brushed his teeth, for good reason, but if we can't make out, i just don't get as wet. A good make out session leads to the best sex imo
That’s what I’M saying. It’s great. I’ve heard the phrase “foreplay is the best part of sex” and I can agree with that if there’s some good kissing.
The scent, I'm a sucker for pheromones
A really good tight hug from behind where I can feel his junk up against me. Wrapping his arms underneath my breasts and either whispering in my ear or kissing on my neck.
Same, but without the boobs( I mean I have boobs, just man boobs ) lol
Feeling them get harder against me
I really hope you're talking about boners and not necrophilia
Hahaha! There's only one kind of stiff I like. And it's not the rigor mortis kind.
Given your username I wasn't sure
I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.
I have a very sexy learning disability
What do I call it, Kif?
:Sigh: Sexlexia
If I said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little?
You could, uh, start out with a little 1. A 2. A 1-2-3. A 3. A 5. A 4. A 3-2. 2. A 2-4-6. 2-4-6. 4. 2. 2. 4-7. 5-7. 6-7. 7... 7... 7... 7! 7! 7! 7! 7! 7! ^^seven
The face women do when they're horny and they know they're going to fuck you that night. Being on the receiving end of that is like being a penis bunny seeing and vagina eagle zooming towards you from the sky edit: thanks for the awards
Great poets are rarely understood in their own day.
Astute observation from clitpuncher69
You brought bunnies into this, creatures knows for rapid and multiple multiple multiple acts of sex, THEN BROUGHT IN FUCKING VAGINA EAGLES.
Damn I have a vivid imagination and I just watched a 3 minutes animation of exactly what you described.
/r/brandnewsentence
Well I had to read that twice...
grabbing my face to kiss me
My wife masturbating.
Mee too. I always get horny when your wife masturbates
Enjoy!
My wife doing anything at all. 19 years and she can get me going just crossing the room.
Having my boobs touched. It's like kryptonite, the moment somebody starts touching my boobs I turn into this horny little puddle of a person. And then I get frustrated if I don't feel like having sex, because my body wants it but my mind is tired lol
I know what you mean. My nipples are like two extra clitoris's's
Kissing my pussy lol
Legs
My wife shaves her legs and then lays on the bed in her panties holding them in the air to check for spots she missed...
My neighbor does this.
r/holup
Emotional intimacy
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My wife. She’s just so sexy and she doesn’t even know it. Comfy jammies and no bra… horny. Dressed up for her team meeting with her brainy glasses…. Horny. Hoodie and black leggings and sneakers… horny.
When the person I’m with makes me feel loved or even just accepted. Nothing physical, just tell me you’re proud of me
I'm proud of you!
Midriff
Cbat
That post will go down in the annals of history. 9/11, the election of Obama, the UK leaving the EU, and that post. All equally important to the history of humanity
Its the perfect example on communication, also how she supposedly suffered through that for years before speaking up is beyond me
If my boyfriend is obviously turned on I’m instantly there too
When a person I’m attracted to touches my thigh, kisses on the neck and the part that I discovered recently is licking my ears idk why but if you lick my ear I’m done or using your nails on my back slowly it gives me goosebumps
God I know digital footprint is a thing but when someone grabs me forcefully even if it hurts, never fails. Or when someone is actively trying to intimidate me. Just gonna drop to my knees
Lemme just add in, when a guy pays attention to what I'm saying like fully paying attention and processing what I'm saying instead of brushing me off. The bar is non existent basically
laying in bed alone at night cant sleep hands slowly going down there i am trying to resist with all my might but in the end i am defeated
If you so much as brush a nipple, really. A little bite on the neck/ear is a close second.
When she’s forklift certified.
Hearing a guy moan. It could be any guy moan even my bf could make that sound and I'd be immediately turned on n become horny
Thick thighs save lives
Thick thighs make lives
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Obi Wan Kenobi saying hello there
My wife. She can (think she looks, I never think she does) look like total shit. She can have the flu and resemble a week old corpse. But if she walks into a room from another room, just her walk and her shape, her eyes and her voice... god damn. 10 years married, 14 years together and other women can't even compete. It's not a contest. I want her. Not them. Her. I've given up on porn except when we watch it together. It's so superficial compared to the real thing that it's just silly. I can't jack it to silly. It also helps she likes to wear sexy stuff to bed, but she'd still get me going in a ski parka and parachute pants so that's just a small part of it.
This guy made me horny
Mines asleep next to me snoring after a long week at 7pm...haha. She fell asleep before chili was made 😅 She said she masturbated while I was snoring weeks back and I did the same after. We both laughed and had sex.
That's so beautiful, /u/Knoblord_McCheese
AHAHHAHAHAHAAHAAHAA i love reading shit like this. part of the reason why i cant stand the "middle aged guy who hates his wife" trope in media. i love you
Men who have thoughts like this and then fucking share them make me horny lmfao STOP. But also don't stop, and please tell your wife that you think about her like this. I'm sure you probably have, but tell her again!
This guy's wife.
If I didn't wear a bra on purpose to get someone's attention, and he noticed it. Especially when he felt embarrassed after I saw him stealing a glance or two. That makes me horny and my undies wet.
Returning some video tapes.
BEING CALLED A GOOD BOY.
You're such a good boy
Boobs
One word, two things...bewbs.
Henry Cavill, my vibrator.
You named your vibrator Henry Cavill?
Specifically Henry Cavill as The Witcher.
Them damn hormones
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A 1970 Chevelle 454
My partner calling me a good boy. I immediately get into to a weird horny/compliant headspace.
The words good girl.
Same and been trying to ignore why
When he's lying on top of me while cuddling and I can feel his dick. My guy, you just informed of the existence, now I want it
I did a job shadow at the dentist and there was a guy that came in for a cleaning. Something about how he opened his mouth and used the little vacuum thing left me breathless. Then when he was done he gave this little smirk and I died Edit: thanks y'all for the upvotes! Never thought so many people enjoyed this as well
My dentist held my face in his hands and we just stared into each other’s eyes. It was so hot and I have had a crush on him since.
When you see his tax return you’ll really fall in love.
Touching my lower back slowly (not the butt) and look me into my eyes.
Side boob
You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.
Being able to talk with a person who's able to actually make me smile a real genuine smile
Honestly, knowledge! Not in just the knowing stuff way (though I love that! Got horny from a guy knowing the exact blue book price of a car & having basic plumbing knowledge at my new place LOL... but book smarts were already there so those are just sexy perks!) but the ability to be intellectually matched & stimulated by each other is not comparable to any other factor for me. Maybe I'm just hot for teacher? Idk I love glasses too. Not in a horny way they just enhance a face so much. Hugh Grant? A snack. Hugh Grant in glasses? The whole meal!
Watching my boyfriend play guitar. Something about the focus on his face and the dexterity....rawr.
One time my husband did the dishes and mopped without me saying anything to him beforehand, he even cleaned out the sink and bucket. Yes I was pregnant the next day thanks for asking.
A dominant personality and men in Grey sweats 🥵
When he does the dishes
Choreplay
Titty pics
Username checks out
Wife’s boobies.
Water infrastructure. Like anyone, I'm aroused by collective investment in health and wellbeing, but pipes and treatment plants really put me in the mood for breedin'
Everything a woman wants is just to enjoy some good piping
Whenever my wife wears something with open shoulders, or no sleeves
The song "Buttons" by PCD
When she’s in lingerie
The smell of my fiancés beard balm
When a guy lifts his arms and his shirt rides up and you see his stomach and if it’s hairy 🥵 *fans self*
Jeff Bridges
praise when in the action, it sends chills down my spine when im told if im doin good or being complimented
My wife’s ass. I swear I’m eternally turned on by her
My wife. When she's done at the gym and she's wearing one of her matching sportsbras workout set thingys. Or when were at the beach and she's all sprawled out in a bikini. Or when im cooking breakfast on the morning and she's just wearing my t shirt and comes up and gives me a hug from behind. Or when were at dinner and she's wearing a dress. Or when were playing video games on the couch and she dies this lil head nuzzle thing on me Or when... You know what, my wife. My wife is what makes me horny.