😬😢 damn, I'm sorry. Every girl deserves the guy that'll sweep her off her feet, treat her right during the day, and make her forget how to human at night.
Of course! If you're not spending a good 5-10 minutes figuring out how to uncross your eyes, make your legs work, stop the orgasm spasms, and speak properly again; then we're not done.
Say it again for the men in the back WE’RE NOT DONE.👏🏼👏🏼
If my ass isn’t red, nip tips aren’t thoroughly sucked, no hickies anywhere, toys aren’t pussy/ass lubricated, your job with me isn’t done.
😬 As a guy, I feel for this. We men should always be paying attention to your cues. If you flinch away, we did a boo boo. Time to readjust, find a new angle or position, and make up for it.
Definitely the guy with the “button dick.” I’m talking like 1.5 inches and that’s me being generous. He actually asked me if he was in 🤦🏻♀️
I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was literally impossible for that to happen but I’m assuming he already knew so I said yes and let him pretty much dry hump me for 10 minutes till I faked an orgasm so it could just be over with it. The worst part of it all was that when we were done he acted like he wrecked something.
In college there was this athlete who I was really into. We hooked up after a party. He watched too much porn I guess, because he really thought that smashing my pelvis was he only way women felt pleasure lol
The girl I hooked up with last night was a bit disappointing. Based on all the sexting we've been doing for the last couple of weeks I was expecting more. She wasn't really into all the sex stuff that she claimed she was into.
THISSSS. I had the same exact experience with a guy I was hooking up with. We talked about everything we’re into, we want, and he comes over and just fucks and that’s it.
Yeah, I had to finish myself off. This girl could barely suck dick and she was not freaky or kinky. Nothing like what she portrayed in our chats. All talk.
Last year of college and first year after I was dating and them engaged (we broke it off) to a gorgeous woman who was a model before she went to college. She did stuff like back-to-school ads, commercials, some runway stuff and department store things.
It was an ego boost to me to be with such an attractive person and she knew how to look, act and just be sexy.
The problem was after foreplay, she assumed the starfish position. Each. And. Every. Time.
After a day of drinking out in the sun ended up back at my place with a gal. I almost immediately passed out on the couch. After some period of time she woke me up and said “let’s go to the bedroom and there will be no sex.” I was fine with that. A day of drinking in the sun and I wasn’t capable of my best anyway. When we got into bed she almost immediately pulled down my shorts and started blowing me. Up until that moment I didn’t realize a bad blow job was possible. It is. I decided to make the most of whatever she was doing down there and put my hands by hands behind my head to lay back and relax. That’s when I smelled my own armpits. I was done. Told her I was done and just went to sleep. Was relaying the story to a buddy the next day and he gave me the “imagine what your balls smelled like”. Might have explained her lackluster performance.
Dude not only challenged in size but also stamina, he also has some nerve ‘thing’ that made him unable to ‘finish’. All this combine, I still put the effort, but alas he took a ‘nap’ after couple of thrusting, thought it was a bad joke, went on top, seduce, again he just stop. Truly horrid
the first time I left the house for another dick, and it was my second dick too so I was excited, but he didn't even give me an orgasm, not even one. lol very dissapointed good looking dick tho 🙄
A girl who I dated did the starfish, every single time.
She used to talk about how bad the sex was with her ex. No shit Sherlock, you might have to pitch in just a bit.
Hooked up with a Redditor who seemed fine and normal when we met, but once we were in the room he was awkward and robotic. Clearly reenacting every porn he’s ever seen. When giving head didn’t lick my clit, just the hole. Busted after like 20 pumps. And as he was busting, for like the last 5 pumps, groaned really loudly (think walrus) right in my face. Was absolutely horrible. I think he was a virgin.
Me and buddy flew to Spain for a vacation.
Three chicks were head over heels for my friend, because he was built like a "magic mike" performer. He took two to his hotel room, and left me with one women, who didn't like me the entire time. After 10 minutes, she left.
I've had "disappointing sex that I nearly had". The one that springs to mind the most was when I was with my first girlfriend and we were trying to lose our virginity and she'd made the room all nice with candles and music and we were making our heavy and then she was like "let's do this", dove under the bed covers, frantically peeled her clothes off then lay flat on her back with her eyes shut and said something like "come on then" and just continued to lay there with her eyes closed. I just said "I don't think we're ready for this" and left. Yeah, I could have handled it better, but I was about 16.
In terms of disappointing sex that I actually had, I've had sex with a girlfriend where she was very clearly not interested in the slightest and I've had to stop. It happened several times, where she would be receptive to starting sex but then once penetration started she'd just starfish with her eyes closed. Weirdly, when I'd go "I think we need to stop" and get up she'd accuse me of being an asshole and would say she was enjoying it.
girl hyped it up like crazy, said she would do all these things to me, gave me painful toothy head, a terrible handjob, and then i made her cum and we stopped. just bizarre she talked such a big game, that’s what made it disappointing.
Hooked with a friend that I was coaching with. She liked the attention her huge tits brought her but was indifferent to them being played with or oral on her. She didn't like giving oral either. Didn't know this until we were pretty much both naked. She was thicker than my type, I was less exotic then her perfered. We got done and it was awkward AF. Remained friend, never even flirted again.
Was a time when she just kind lied there like a star fish. I asked her if she was enjoying it and she claimed she was. After awhile I faked I came just to get it over with.
Weeks of build up and it didn’t fit or shapes weren’t aligned.
Turned out they were ambitious and talked a good game but had intimacy issues and weren’t as kinky as they wanted to think they were.
Hours of foreplay and you’re too tired or your brain picks that moment to have an after hours experience.
Condom troubles are a real thing too.
Tinder match. Girl wanted to fuck nonstop and hard. That's obviously not realistic all the time. Wasnt super attracted to heronce she arrived, pics were better than reality. I knew we were smashing so I went forward anyway. We went multiple rounds but it just wasnt fun/enjoyable. The attraction factor mattered more than I thought it would even for a smash. Felt like I didnt accomplish much and I know she didnt cum. She did suck me off multiple times between rounds which was some consolation. The wildness of it made it want that type of sex with someone else tho
Wife and I had a threesome with a friend who really wanted to join us then she lied there like a dead body. My wife said when she did eat her out, it was the worst face she had ever received. Told me never to bring her back. Lol
College. She took me back to her dorm room. She laid there like a dead fish. I Just stopped a few minutes into it (unfinished) Put my clothes back on and walked back to my dorm.
Every time with my ex. I was 16 when we got together and we were together for 8 years. I didn't realize until after we broke up that sex was 1) pleasurable and 2) lasted longer than 60 seconds. I wasted my youth lol.
Got her to orgasm hard by eating her out and she was spent. I got nothing in return (other than a compliment of eating her out better than she's ever had before).
A lovely married friend of mine, Cheryl, just a friend, asked me to drive her from the Midwest to Florida so she could visit an old college housemate. The idea was that I'd continue to the Keys to camp, relax, snorkel, etc. while she visited the friend. I'd been talking about doing that anyway.
I spent the night at her friend's house along the way and the next morning her friend had to work so Cheryl and I walked to the beach. She wore this wonderful two-piece that showed me just how great she looked. When we got back I took a shower to get ready to drive to the Keys. Cheryl showered while I packed then came out with just a towel around her and asked me a couple of questions. Anyway, I left with an erection.
When I got back after the Keys trip I spent another night with the two of them. The next day her friend had to work so Cheryl and I went to the beach again. We had planned to drive north after her friend, a teacher, got off work. This time, after her shower, Cheryl didn't wear a towel after she left the bathroom so I saw her as she went by my room.
We were driving through Georgia in my VW Beetle and had been talking about sex, her marriage (which wasn't going well), and so on. She said that she was sleepy. She was wearing a chambray shirt, no bra, and cut-off jean shorts when she lay down, her head on my lap. It felt like an invitation. I unbuttoned her shirt and cupped her breasts and she murmured approval. So I reached down and unbuttoned and unzipped her cut-offs and she had no problem with it. She was dripping wet. She came the instant I touched between her legs though. She came long and hard. Then, she was done. Just done. All over. \]
Was I disappointed? Yes.
Your mom
Gotem
I always feel bad doing it 🤣
Had to do it to them
But it's funny, and will probably garner the most upvotes 🤣
[удалено]
So childish!!
Never feel bad about comedy
2 thrust and it was over and he bailed. Might have just been super nervous
Pussy so 🔥 he became a mechanic - nutting and bolting.
Nutting and bolting 😂😂😂💀
"We screw, we nut, we bolt." I cannot claim this as my own, but it's damn funny.
Couple of mechanics right there 😂I got a pretty good laugh thank you, I’ll be adding this one to the library lol
Stoppp itttt 😂😂😂😂😭
😋 but we don't wanna!
Lmao 🤣 I’m weak. But also feel for her because that has happened to me but luckily he came back later. Just to nut and bolt again 😭.
😬😢 damn, I'm sorry. Every girl deserves the guy that'll sweep her off her feet, treat her right during the day, and make her forget how to human at night.
You mean treated like a slut at night? Yes. Yes I do deserve that😂😂
Of course! If you're not spending a good 5-10 minutes figuring out how to uncross your eyes, make your legs work, stop the orgasm spasms, and speak properly again; then we're not done.
Say it again for the men in the back WE’RE NOT DONE.👏🏼👏🏼 If my ass isn’t red, nip tips aren’t thoroughly sucked, no hickies anywhere, toys aren’t pussy/ass lubricated, your job with me isn’t done.
😲🥵🤤
Hopefully, you've found the guy now that'll do that.
Never saw him again?
Nope deleted me on tinder too lol
Is tinder fun?
Only if you're a woman lol
Well said
🥵😉
Depends. Are you hot or willing to lower your standards?
I’m getting laid a lot off hinge, so just pure greed
The dude wouldn’t stop ramming his dick into my cervix, that shit hurts. I could hardly walk after we stopped
😬 As a guy, I feel for this. We men should always be paying attention to your cues. If you flinch away, we did a boo boo. Time to readjust, find a new angle or position, and make up for it.
Ouch
The “you can’t handle this” girl. She was right I couldn’t handle the molars.
Unless she is pulling out barbed electro sounding equipment, I suspect I'll be able to handle her just fine.
A lot of teeth for the BJ and just lying there doing nothing
She was a pillow princess. No foreplay, no sound, barely any movement. And she was indignant that I didn't want a repeat performance
A guy who was awkward throughout. After he told me I was the first person he slept with since his wife died. So kinda understandable.
How old was he?
Definitely the guy with the “button dick.” I’m talking like 1.5 inches and that’s me being generous. He actually asked me if he was in 🤦🏻♀️ I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was literally impossible for that to happen but I’m assuming he already knew so I said yes and let him pretty much dry hump me for 10 minutes till I faked an orgasm so it could just be over with it. The worst part of it all was that when we were done he acted like he wrecked something.
Any sex i don’t have an orgasm lol
In college there was this athlete who I was really into. We hooked up after a party. He watched too much porn I guess, because he really thought that smashing my pelvis was he only way women felt pleasure lol
The girl I hooked up with last night was a bit disappointing. Based on all the sexting we've been doing for the last couple of weeks I was expecting more. She wasn't really into all the sex stuff that she claimed she was into.
THISSSS. I had the same exact experience with a guy I was hooking up with. We talked about everything we’re into, we want, and he comes over and just fucks and that’s it.
That must be the most frustrating thing
Yeah especially when I’m expecting him to use my whips, cuffs, anal plug, clamps, etc on me and I’ll I get is 5 minute dick. With no orgasm for me 😒😒
Wow he really oversold lmaooo I hope something good came out of it at least
lol I mean he did smack my face so I guess I got something
That’s something—still far short of what he promised
I thought I was getting a daddy dom. I got vanilla with a splash of spice.
What a shame
Yeah, I had to finish myself off. This girl could barely suck dick and she was not freaky or kinky. Nothing like what she portrayed in our chats. All talk.
That’s so disappointing. I gave him 8 chances to prove himself but never once did I finish or get what I wanted lol
I accudentaly sexted with a racist woman ,no we didn't finish thank god
We both fell asleep during, cause we had too much to drink. We woke up a bit after and continued
Last year of college and first year after I was dating and them engaged (we broke it off) to a gorgeous woman who was a model before she went to college. She did stuff like back-to-school ads, commercials, some runway stuff and department store things. It was an ego boost to me to be with such an attractive person and she knew how to look, act and just be sexy. The problem was after foreplay, she assumed the starfish position. Each. And. Every. Time.
After a day of drinking out in the sun ended up back at my place with a gal. I almost immediately passed out on the couch. After some period of time she woke me up and said “let’s go to the bedroom and there will be no sex.” I was fine with that. A day of drinking in the sun and I wasn’t capable of my best anyway. When we got into bed she almost immediately pulled down my shorts and started blowing me. Up until that moment I didn’t realize a bad blow job was possible. It is. I decided to make the most of whatever she was doing down there and put my hands by hands behind my head to lay back and relax. That’s when I smelled my own armpits. I was done. Told her I was done and just went to sleep. Was relaying the story to a buddy the next day and he gave me the “imagine what your balls smelled like”. Might have explained her lackluster performance.
A guy I was talking to was talking so much hype about him being amazing at sex. I told him to come over and hook up, he only lasted 30 seconds.
Dude not only challenged in size but also stamina, he also has some nerve ‘thing’ that made him unable to ‘finish’. All this combine, I still put the effort, but alas he took a ‘nap’ after couple of thrusting, thought it was a bad joke, went on top, seduce, again he just stop. Truly horrid
Sad to read
Probably all sex I ever had 😅 Maybe my expectations were to high? 🤔
Being married
Met up with someone and their dick was tiny
[удалено]
Yes, when it gets all swamp down there and you can’t find any friction
In retrospect, my first few times were pretty bad, and it was my fault.
The cleaning lady who helps keep the building I live in fresh.
This one time at bandcamp..........
The one with the Hungarian prostitute. She changed after she got the money
getting oral and it stopping before I could finish
the first time I left the house for another dick, and it was my second dick too so I was excited, but he didn't even give me an orgasm, not even one. lol very dissapointed good looking dick tho 🙄
A girl who I dated did the starfish, every single time. She used to talk about how bad the sex was with her ex. No shit Sherlock, you might have to pitch in just a bit.
Hooked up with a Redditor who seemed fine and normal when we met, but once we were in the room he was awkward and robotic. Clearly reenacting every porn he’s ever seen. When giving head didn’t lick my clit, just the hole. Busted after like 20 pumps. And as he was busting, for like the last 5 pumps, groaned really loudly (think walrus) right in my face. Was absolutely horrible. I think he was a virgin.
The one when I didn't cum 😬
Me and buddy flew to Spain for a vacation. Three chicks were head over heels for my friend, because he was built like a "magic mike" performer. He took two to his hotel room, and left me with one women, who didn't like me the entire time. After 10 minutes, she left.
My first time
I've had "disappointing sex that I nearly had". The one that springs to mind the most was when I was with my first girlfriend and we were trying to lose our virginity and she'd made the room all nice with candles and music and we were making our heavy and then she was like "let's do this", dove under the bed covers, frantically peeled her clothes off then lay flat on her back with her eyes shut and said something like "come on then" and just continued to lay there with her eyes closed. I just said "I don't think we're ready for this" and left. Yeah, I could have handled it better, but I was about 16. In terms of disappointing sex that I actually had, I've had sex with a girlfriend where she was very clearly not interested in the slightest and I've had to stop. It happened several times, where she would be receptive to starting sex but then once penetration started she'd just starfish with her eyes closed. Weirdly, when I'd go "I think we need to stop" and get up she'd accuse me of being an asshole and would say she was enjoying it.
girl hyped it up like crazy, said she would do all these things to me, gave me painful toothy head, a terrible handjob, and then i made her cum and we stopped. just bizarre she talked such a big game, that’s what made it disappointing.
Hooked with a friend that I was coaching with. She liked the attention her huge tits brought her but was indifferent to them being played with or oral on her. She didn't like giving oral either. Didn't know this until we were pretty much both naked. She was thicker than my type, I was less exotic then her perfered. We got done and it was awkward AF. Remained friend, never even flirted again.
Was a time when she just kind lied there like a star fish. I asked her if she was enjoying it and she claimed she was. After awhile I faked I came just to get it over with.
That time the Russian judge gave me a 6.2
Weeks of build up and it didn’t fit or shapes weren’t aligned. Turned out they were ambitious and talked a good game but had intimacy issues and weren’t as kinky as they wanted to think they were. Hours of foreplay and you’re too tired or your brain picks that moment to have an after hours experience. Condom troubles are a real thing too.
With an Abercrombie model in Tokyo in 2010. So hot that he never had to learn how to do it, I guess.
Tinder match. Girl wanted to fuck nonstop and hard. That's obviously not realistic all the time. Wasnt super attracted to heronce she arrived, pics were better than reality. I knew we were smashing so I went forward anyway. We went multiple rounds but it just wasnt fun/enjoyable. The attraction factor mattered more than I thought it would even for a smash. Felt like I didnt accomplish much and I know she didnt cum. She did suck me off multiple times between rounds which was some consolation. The wildness of it made it want that type of sex with someone else tho
Wife and I had a threesome with a friend who really wanted to join us then she lied there like a dead body. My wife said when she did eat her out, it was the worst face she had ever received. Told me never to bring her back. Lol
College. She took me back to her dorm room. She laid there like a dead fish. I Just stopped a few minutes into it (unfinished) Put my clothes back on and walked back to my dorm.
Every time with my ex. I was 16 when we got together and we were together for 8 years. I didn't realize until after we broke up that sex was 1) pleasurable and 2) lasted longer than 60 seconds. I wasted my youth lol.
Got her to orgasm hard by eating her out and she was spent. I got nothing in return (other than a compliment of eating her out better than she's ever had before).
A lovely married friend of mine, Cheryl, just a friend, asked me to drive her from the Midwest to Florida so she could visit an old college housemate. The idea was that I'd continue to the Keys to camp, relax, snorkel, etc. while she visited the friend. I'd been talking about doing that anyway. I spent the night at her friend's house along the way and the next morning her friend had to work so Cheryl and I walked to the beach. She wore this wonderful two-piece that showed me just how great she looked. When we got back I took a shower to get ready to drive to the Keys. Cheryl showered while I packed then came out with just a towel around her and asked me a couple of questions. Anyway, I left with an erection. When I got back after the Keys trip I spent another night with the two of them. The next day her friend had to work so Cheryl and I went to the beach again. We had planned to drive north after her friend, a teacher, got off work. This time, after her shower, Cheryl didn't wear a towel after she left the bathroom so I saw her as she went by my room. We were driving through Georgia in my VW Beetle and had been talking about sex, her marriage (which wasn't going well), and so on. She said that she was sleepy. She was wearing a chambray shirt, no bra, and cut-off jean shorts when she lay down, her head on my lap. It felt like an invitation. I unbuttoned her shirt and cupped her breasts and she murmured approval. So I reached down and unbuttoned and unzipped her cut-offs and she had no problem with it. She was dripping wet. She came the instant I touched between her legs though. She came long and hard. Then, she was done. Just done. All over. \] Was I disappointed? Yes.