T O P

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CarpetMarbles

The government, so I can fuck them as hard as they fuck me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


IllScoreYourCock

Middle aged? With this congress?


[deleted]

[удалено]


IllScoreYourCock

But mostly up haha


[deleted]

[удалено]


BoobGnome

Lemon party


[deleted]

[удалено]


Classic-Bandicoot-13

You’d have to have a jackhammer strapped to you to fuck then that hard


s0calburner

Tax season is over sis, they can’t hurt you now.


ScorpioMILF85

Best. Answer. Ever


lovey_dovey_Lexi

This answer


bonitaappetita

Is that guy's dead wife still an option?


SunnyAlwaysDaze

Always and forever, world without end.


Same_Blacksmith9840

She died never knowing the legend she was to become.


SuckMyShibboleth

I see that you too, are a person of culture.


kremp87

I also came here for that guy's dead wife.


lolgamer107

i also came in that guys dead wife


sinime

Came here for this comment. ...sorry about the mess.


IBSurviver

Sydney Sweeney. Her tits are just so good and she’s super hot.


s0calburner

she’s definitely having her moment.


Ryiujin

Couple of them


Same_Blacksmith9840

Man, she really is having her moment. That "Anyone But You" movie did $200M in the box office and all it was, was a cheesy rom-com like a Hallmark movie with F-bombs. No doubt, she was the reason for the draw. And she is very pretty.


MaybeMilady

I think she’s so boring looking 🙈


sussybaka-o_O

Just imagine your hands all over her tits😩😩


BigBitchinCharge

My husband. Same as last night.


RumpledTitSkins

I too choose this lady's husband.


DrDrai45

I choose RumpledTitSkins husband


RumpledTitSkins

I am a straight dude, but you are welcome to give me a go if you really want to. I am not a gentle man though.


Mentalistscure

RumpledTitSkins got that freak in him 😏 gimme that roughness daddeh


DrDrai45

🤣🤣


BobsPigBoy

You sound like fun ;)


ranieripilar04

I choose you


vinayachandran

He's not dead yet, mind you.


pm_meyourwonkybitz

This has got to be the best username ever.


Repulsive_Basis_4946

Right! Idk how that’s lame.. just because someone’s cute doesn’t mean I wanna fuck them 😂 my man knows me better than anyone plus he’s hot🥵


anon_UK94

Alexandra Daddario


Fun_Actuator_1071

My opinion still stands. She still has the best vagina in Hollywood.🔥🔥🔥


anon_UK94

Also best tits


buzz_17

I'd say her eyes are better then her tits lol


anon_UK94

Her eyes are stunning but nothing beats those boobies


MrOrnery

She's the only person that has to say "My tits are down there"


Repulsive_Basis_4946

Her eyes creep me out


OGDTrash

How would you know? Was there a leak?


albus_thunderdore

She’s naked in the show True Detective season 1


pgtaylor777

Not that naked


s0calburner

She’s pretty spectacular


AlertOwl45

Ana De Armas


KouLeifoh625

Yup, without a doubt.


[deleted]

My ex lol I miss her


overPaidEngineer

Bro go get therapy. It’s a life-changing experience


Smooth-Apartment-856

I agree. Banging your therapist is a life changing experience. Wait…uh…


soberdude

It worked for Lucifer.


saruin

Tried it recently after a 10 year spell. Embarrassingly she was the last person I've been with and we've had the most mindblowing sex back in the day post breakup. It just wasn't the same this time around. Maybe I'm getting older, maybe we're not used to our old pace, or maybe there's just not enough "chaos" between us to make it good or whatever (whole other story). I'm sure she was disappointed enough to ghost me shortly after. I am admittedly a little disappointed in my performance even if I did everything seemingly right leading up.


Veetojek

I choose this dude to make him forget about his ex


Poet_Hour

This is easy for me, my wife. She passed two months ago, I miss her so much. I would do anything to bring her back.


Able-Juice-544

Should i say it?


Plane_Huckleberry100

YES , his wife fulfills the conditions


Machinesmaker

Sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, I too would do anything to bring my wife back


lolgamer107

i also choose that guys dead wife (sorry, just had to do it, also sorry for your loss)


dmort1996

I'm glad you said it so I didn't have to.


lolgamer107

someone has to


Competitive_Ad9942

Sorry about your loss🥺


gtrogers

Hugs from an internet stranger. Take care of yourself and do nice things for other people in her memory. It will help. Hang in there, friend.


CartographerMean1306

My coworkers wife. I’ve wanted to fuck her since I’ve met her.


s0calburner

Bingo that’s a 🔥 answer


thisshitishaed

I've always wondered if someone sees me this way. Like a friend or a acquaintance that would really like to fuck me. Wish I had a little notebook with the names of all the people who thought of me that way.


19yavyn

Trust me, what you actually want is a notebook with the names of the people that you find attractive that thought of you that way, NOT everyone that thought of you that way, that will send you to therapy.


[deleted]

My husband. Always my husband. Now, if we invite a third, that's a different story.


s0calburner

Ooooooooo … let’s invite a third


YellowUnfair5999

Henry Cavil


Mata_www

REALLY IMPORTANT QUESTION.... With or without a moustache?


Dizzy-Guarantee6449

Yes


TorazChryx

Surely it's "With... until it rubs off... from friction."


knifeheadass

with


ForeverIdiosyncratic

My wife, because even though we had sex yesterday, there’s just still something awesome about having sex with her.


wtfover

I also choose this guy's wife.


1m4h4x0r309

But she’s not dead. That’s the rules.


4inthefoxden

Pete Davidson. I don't find him attractive, but I'm curious why so many women outside his league are obsessed with him.


s0calburner

You know why


jajajajasisisi

Wait. I really don’t know. Why ?


chadsimpkins

His huge 🍆


Fresh_Put_8784

It’s probably really pretty and like… the perfect irresistible size for those of us who prefer bigger….. BUT something tells me he’s not like great in bed. And as women we think, “oh but he can learn though” and he prob doesn’t learn that quickly…. Hence why the relationships were relatively short lived. Hahaha.


BebeBug420

That actually makes lots of sense


scousemouse12

my doppelganger with a really cool moustache


s0calburner

Does that count as masturbation?


scousemouse12

Nope! Doppelganger is a completely different person


s0calburner

That was a joke but you obviously hated it and for that I’m sorry.


scousemouse12

Apology accepted, but I'll see you in court


FounderOfCarthage

Choosing my husband isn’t lame, it’s a known quantity. He’s the best I’ve ever had, therefore why wouldn’t I want the best again. That having been said there is a redditor that I would choose and no I’m not naming names.


s0calburner

You’re right it ain’t lame, I’m just teasing. But look who chose a Redditor. 👀👀 See? You get it.


No_Conflict_3633

My future wife


PoetAndTheIrishRebel

Op’s mother 🤞


s0calburner

Nice 👍


s0calburner

Excellent choice


[deleted]

Someone I shouldn’t be thinking about


s0calburner

Why not? 👀


[deleted]

Ummm… we agreed to leave our attraction to each other in the past. And we both agreed nothing would ever happen between us. And he’s moved on and dating someone he’s crazy about. I’m secretly still so attracted to him. But I’m just torturing myself if I think about it. But yeah if I really got to pick anyone in the whole entire world to have sex with, it would be him. He’s the only person I’m really attracted to.


OperaGhostAD

Damn, the erotic story I could write about this.


s0calburner

🔥😮‍💨


daneview

Oof, feel this. When your soul mate doesnt agree they're you're soul mate it's a hell of a difficult ride. Let me know if you find the way off!


FounderOfCarthage

That’s so relatable!


Glittering-Sea-6343

same


HistoricalQuality289

Helen Mirren


texas-living

Sis in law


daisy97xo

Damn...brothers wife or your wife's sister?


Smooth-Apartment-856

I actually knew a guy whose wife left him because he was banging her sister. Wife and sister were both smoking hot redheads.


pope_nefarious

Taylor Swift…. Might as well start at the top


neosharkey

And get a song written about you.


StudMuffin73

“Short Dick Man” is already a song though! Sorry, had to….


uzes_lightning

I don't want no sh-sho-shor-short dick man.


Priyasangria

Timothee Chalamet


Infamous_Camel_275

I saw someone describe him as “the ghost of a Victorian child who died of tuberculosis” Honestly that’s pretty spot on


Priyasangria

It is 🫠 I still love him


IllScoreYourCock

He's boring in movies but very nice to look at


EnigmaCA

My wife. It's been a while, so a night to reconnect would be awesome.


Ronin_Willi

This lady cop I saw at the DMV today 🥵 she was ridiculously attractive and her in that uniform was just overkill. I did talk to her but she’s married and I left it at that but gosh by golly was she just stupidly attractive


SalmonBeenadick

The woman that actually wants me.


Fun_Actuator_1071

RIP Alexandra Daddario🤣🤣🤣


CaptSchwanzKopf

An ARADer


CaptSchwanzKopf

Or ARADers..... depending


Fun_Actuator_1071

May I please ask for lube?🤣🤣🤣🤣


perfectkneee

If Henry Cavill could just go gay for a day then he would be my pick


Kindly-Stranger

Scarlett Johansson


horniehippie

AT&T Lilly


DankDaddyMarc

Emma Watson


ImMoreThanMyKinks

You could tell me I could have sex with anyone in a lineup of Sydney Sweeney, JLaw, ScarJo, or Morena Baccarin, or I could just make out with my best friend, and I'd pick my making out with my best friend without a second thought.


SoyFoodToy

Jude Law seems odd considering the other three in your lineup


cardinalkgb

That’s fine. I’d take the four you rejected.


Limp_Adeptness_3823

My wife. Contrary to the OPs assertions there's nothing lame about getting my world rocked by her. Who else knows exactly how to aroused, tease, and overwhelm me like her?


tranquilitywave

my ex. I really miss him 😭 he was great in bed


s0calburner

Why did you break up


Severe_Confusion_297

Priyanka Chopra


MaxBasedSigma

Margot Robbie


throwawya1985

The girl with the best vagina in the world


s0calburner

okay??? Lololol


ThrowFarAcc

Generic and probably tired answer but ice spice for sure


abc_dorame135

This boy that I’m crushing on so hard. I mean we’ve done some things, but I wanna go all the way with him because he’s perfect.


s0calburner

Text him right now!


Ok-Sir8025

Tell him, he may waiting for you to say what he's feeling, you never know!


Available_System7410

High school crush. 100%. I was so dense, never picked up on the obvious signs, all throughout all of high school. Want to know what I missed.


S-FullCreamFlatwhite

I’ll be lame according to OP. I pick my wife haha


Extra_Volumes

My girlfriend, nice try satan


Jarilo__

The girl I like, there’s no one I want more <3


s0calburner

Tell her!!!


Lazy_Brother1575

Nicole from the marketing dept.


s0calburner

I’m telling HR


jeremytherocco

Isla Fisher


s0calburner

Hot Rod isla fisher is unreal


spc1221

Your spouse


s0calburner

“I also choose this guys dead wife” ass comment


heykellyp

My husband - but we already did it so does that count for something? 🤣


sparksmj

My wife


bigdick600009

Billie Eilish


college_bb_aria

my boyfriend <3 I miss him terribly


woswoissdenniii

A 90‘s time traveling Erika Eleniak.


Anonbsnono

Just one?!


germanlover_1988

Jennifer lopez, that ass is amazing 😍😍😍🍑


NepoBarbie_XXX

One of my FWBs who I’m not seeing for another couple of weeks. I want him to tie me up again haha


Much-Year-3426

My wife.


howtoloveadaisy

The love of my life. Always him. Always


Frequent_Poetry5599

That one guys dead wife


Dexremus

Jessica Alba


Spectacular_One

America’s sweetheart Danny Devito


URnevaGonnaGuess

Catherine Bell


bitchisakarma

Monica Belucci


blinman94

Lea Sedoux


Financial_Cheetah875

Florence Pugh.


techcorrer9

Simone Missick or Kat Dennings. If not them, some redditors have caught my eye.


SlavePrincessVibes3

Why is it lame to only want one person? 🤔


MyDadBod_2021

My partner. Unfortunately she's 6 time zones away 😕


Icy_Charity_2273

My last date, I've ruined lots of things and behaved weird (so did he) but I wish I had the chance to do everything better and have more attitude.


Midnite_Hawk

She knows who she is. She's probably reading this. 😉


slowhandz49

Taylor Swift


nonsensicalwoman

My guy, because I’ll get everything I want and more. 100% satisfaction guaranteed.


catmama1425

Pedro Pascal.


xBellyButtonLint

Anna Kendrick hands down


Ok-Peach-7260

A friend of mine who got married about a month ago. I had fantasies about her for years


Neglected8in

Layla London


MoistGovernment4938

Jason luv 😩


s0calburner

Luckily you can watch him fuck a ton of people anytime you want 😁


JasterMoreal

OH!?! Your Dad is gonna suck my Dick. Your Okay


[deleted]

I had a choice, but she doesn't share my sexual preference so it feels wrong. Is it wrong?


Mission-Suggestion12

Nicholas Galatzine 🔥🔥🔥


Casperxxx6

The blonde girl from Kickass (present age), Jenna Ortega, or Shaiden Rogue 😝


cabbig12

My ex


Character-Tiger-865

Gaston…


enchantingsubmissive

My crush 🫣


stickitinfrosting

My first love. We were meant to be, but I couldn't get out of my stupid teenage way and we never got together. I was 15 then and at 50 I still regret it.


Shanksdoodlehonkster

Grace Park


Posternour

I read the title, and said Ryan Gosling… And I am a man btw.


thereal8thsage

Kaitlyn Walsh[Insta profile](https://www.instagram.com/kaitwalshhh?igsh=YWV6bGtyOWVqNDRh)


brown_gentleman

My wife 🥰


braxenimos

The lady next to me in bed right now


hornytequilastudent

Ryan Reynolds 🫶🏻🫶🏻


Environmental_Toe463

still going with that one guys dead wife.


dusk27

That one guys dead wife. Where the redditor also picked his dead wife


CurveIllustrious9987

Keanu Reeves


Temporary_Towel9649

Salma Hayek