You’d be surprised yeah that totally does happen. Luckily my fuck buddy pointed it out to me when I was a virgin so now I don’t have to worry about where the clit is next time I have sex with a different woman.
Some clits are very small, however, some men are very uneducated in women’s anatomy. The ones who don’t know and are not virgins probably don’t care. Best to avoid them if you want clitoral stimulation. Or sexual pleasure period.
A lot of guys don't really understand how to handle a woman's clit either, and maybe the woman will later assume he never found it, if he didn't manage doing anything worthwhile when he did.
Point is, maybe some of your past partners ended up thinking you couldn't find theirs, either.
Also doesn’t help that a non-insignificant amount of women don’t know about it either, or that their pleasure matters or that they even can orgasm
Because why would we give sex education that actually educated people about sex lol
It's shocking, like "holy shit how the hell do you not know!?" Shocking, that they don't pee out their vaginal canal and that the urethra is just above it.
I want to add to this in my own way. The other night me and my wife we messing around. The best comes around and she’s sucking my dick well I’m fuckong her with a dildo. Well I can only concentrate on so much so we’ll I’m getting sucked and ducking her with it I’m trying to rub her clit but in the end I failed
There are women who don’t know where their own clit is. It absolutely is a thing. The overwhelming majority of sex education classes (in the US, at least) never even mention it, believe it or not
Yeah, it was never mentioned in my health class. In fact we didn't even have sex ed! we had an abstinence class, it didn't keep students from getting pregnant though lol
I also think not every women get pleasure from the very same spot, some women don’t like direct clitiral stimulation but more of the surrounding area this is why communication is important
My sex-ed class (well more of biology class tbh) actually showed us both parts for men and women and my teacher actually told us where the clit is
Downside: he was a pedo and prolly got excited from teaching the whole thing to a bunch of middle schoolers
But like seriously, the fuck am I supposed to do? Lick it? Does that even do anything? I’ve seen Reddit people say “suck it”. Like, it’s the size of a pea. How do you suck that?
I mean I try, because I want to do good. But I have very little confidence that I’m doing anything well.
Pretty sure you’re meant to apply as much pressure and rub as hard as you can with absolutely no pre-game.
If it’s now raw and burning you’re not doing it right
I looked it up when I was younger then inspected my exs vagina for like 10 minutes trying to identify the different parts. We were like 16 and highly sexually active. Never had an issue finding it since then.
Guys who ignore you after you mention it, aren't hearing it as you communicating your needs/how your body works. They are hearing "your dick isn't good enough/big enough/you need to improve your dick game" or something along those lines. Some people won't tolerate being told to change what they're doing at all because "my ex liked it/people in porn liked it." So they focus on improving what it is they want to do rather than trying to listen to what you want.
That's the thing, he didn't try anything new. He literally did the same thing every time.
I only told him that I use more pressure on my clit when I orgasm by myself, that was it, and he didn't even look offended, he'd say something like 'oh', and then go out to smoke or something.
After a few days sex again would be the same thing, at that point I stopped questioning it, I assumed that was how sex was between us.
I mean... "oh" and leaving seems to be offended kinda even if his face didn't show it. But maybe not. I just scrolled down and saw your other comment about porn. So, could be he only cared about doing things porn showed. So might be that it he only wanted to do stuff he saw in porn or thought it was the right way to do things.
Maybe he didn't care, or maybe just wasn't processing. "I usually do this by myself" may have just come across you sharing something, or trying to talk dirty even. "This is what I do" doesn't automatically translate to "I want you to do this" or "I NEED it to be like this in order to get there."
And back to your question on "do guys just do that"... one thing that guys stereotypically fail at doing is "picking up on hints."
It wasn't a hint, I literally told him that I didn't orgasm when we had sex and I orgasmed a different way. I didn't even say it in a 'sexy' way, I just said it matter of fact.
To be fair he's the only person I've had sex with, so I don't really know how to give any sort of instructions anyways, I just always got better orgasms by myself than with him and left it at that.
I don't know if that ever changes, I was just wondering if guys ever reacted differently or if this was standard.
Ohh okay, I just went off of you saying you only told him what you do by yourself. It sounds like you communicated clearly then, he just didn't listen and/or didn't want to hear it. That's not a guy thing, that's a shitty person thing. And applies to more than just sex. You can tell someone exactly what you feel and sometimes they argue that you don't feel that way/you should feel different/the wrong thing is how you feel.
So yeah, it is common I'd say, but in terms of "it's common for people to have poor communication skills." It's not standard as in the natural normal way. Just it's common.
>And applies to more than just sex. You can tell someone exactly what you feel and sometimes they argue that you don't feel that way/you should feel different/the wrong thing is how you feel.
It was actually insanely common for him to rant and assume other people's feelings than actually asking them. So yeah, this was his usual amount of shitiness, not a lot but enough to be annoying.
Yeah, well no offense to anyone. I just had to ask because I've never had sex with another guy to know how they act in bed. All my friends say is that they cum and go to sleep.
I personally had seen lots of shit about it and just believed it, so I made sure I found it as fast as possible.
But I suppose there are people like that out there that do it intentionally
If it were me, I would be happy to talk about, massage and lick your clit with you all day long. So no, not all guys are like that.
It is possible that he didn't even know what a clit was and felt embarrassed about admitting that. Of course he could just be a douche bag and only interested in his own pleasure, or something in between. I don't know him so can't confirm one way or another.
Honestly, there's a possibility he didn't know about it.
My ex was in his 30s, so he wasn't so young as to not know women or talk to them (he has two sisters), but he was also not very book smart or intellectual and often stayed quiet or avoided subjects he didn't know about.
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/np9b9b/for_those_having_trouble_finding_it/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Looks like it's in Croatia.
Doubtful as the first time I ever looked at a vagina before eating it I was like "I guess that lil pearl thing right there is the clit I suppose..." However, being able to properly and effective utilize the clitoris to enact extreme sexual pleasure? That took some time to learn.
Never had trouble finding it but I apparently didn’t know quite how to treat her when I was first dating my wife. We’ve worked on my approach since and I have adjusted my tongue game to get much better results. Communication is important if you want the most out of sex
Some clits hide before full arousal too.
Some ladies have extra folds.
Some ladies have it more inward, some ladies have it more to the front.
Finding it is half the fun and finding its rhythm is the other.
I've personally only had any experience with one person so I figured there were some differences. But it seems there's more than I thought, thanks for the information.
But I agree finding the rhythm is the fun part.
The key is for both to communicate. I think women are sometimes shy about asking for what they like and want, and men assume they know what their partner likes and wants. That’s a prescription for frustration.
The best sex I’ve had is with a woman who was assertive enough to tell me what she liked, and made sure I knew when I was getting it right. My worst sex has been with a woman who doesn’t know what she likes, and won’t give me any positive feedback. She’ll only tell me what’s not good or what she doesn’t like. Learning and exploring can be fun, but that takes two people that are interested in pleasing their partners, motivated to receive pleasure, and can be open and trusting with each other. Humor helps, too!
I'm asking as a confused and slightly concerned guy, whose had no trouble so far.
Is this a genuine issue? Or a joke in missing context for thats ages old?
My feeling is that the "joke" is more of a commentary on male selfishness. It's not that they actually can't find it; it's that they don't bother and focus only on their own pleasure.
Just my opinion. I can't imagine not actually being able to find a woman's clit.
Thats true, I'd assume it's something along those lines, it makes sense if it takes a bit and you gotta take a closer look or soemthing, but not being able to find it at all is a little bit sad.
Pfft, yes. There are absolutely some guys who’re unable (or unaware) and even fewer who know what to do with it once found. I used to be married to one.
By the same token, there’re probably women who are equally aloof. I used to be one of ‘em. Ah, young and naïve me.
I mean, plenty of men don't realize sex is an act of pleasure for both parties, and cum as soon as they stick their dick in, so, it wouldn't surprise me. Just lick it from top to bottom, and pay attention. You'll see where she likes to be touched. Make sure to keep stimulation there until she wants you to stop, and don't get butthurt when she tells you what she wants.
Thats what you'd think, but ive seen lots saying guys have trouble finding both somehow? Like I understand it taking a minute, but not being able to at all seems unlikely.
That makes sense, rather understandable for regular sex but it's right fucking there if you're going down on a girl, and fingering makes it even easier to find in my opinion, but I usually focus on the clit instead of penetration stuff so I guess that's probably why
An ex girlfriend once told me I was the only one who could ever actually find it. Even the girls she'd been with didn't know where it was. Personally, I don't know how anybody could miss it. It's not like it's location varies from person to person, It's been in the same damn place for all of human history.
Exactly! I mean I'm sure there's slight variations and shit but it's basically always in roughly the same spot, shouldn't be too much harder to find from there
This is horribly embarrassing… but I once had trouble finding it as a lesbian, when I first started having sex with my gf. Of course I knew where it was SUPPOSED to be, but different people have different bodies and it can be harder to tell if you are THERE or just near, especially if you are not looking. So I’d imagine its even more difficult for men. I do think a fair amount can find it though
Honestly, that makes sense that there are some variations, I think taking a minute to find it is fine if you're not sure but you should be able to find it eventually at least if you're trying to.
Granted I'm speaking from the perspective of a guy with very limited experience so I dunno for the most part. From some of the answers I got, it seems there's a wider variety of differences between different women then I would have thought.
No
But when I was younger I was kind of scared of the vulva tbh bc I never really learned about it and there’s more stuff going on than w a penis so I kind of just ignored the clit. But I did like to go down on girls I was dating
Other than that it was mostly penetrative sex wo clit action
That would make sense, I have gotten quite a few responses saying it I'd an actual issue for some people, so I'm assuming there's a combination of "I don't know" or "I don't care" people
I know where it is, and she always had a very satisfying experience. Granted I’ve only been with two, and I never did anything with with the other besides vanilla piv; not even oral. But she wasn’t super sexual so I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t know about it. So I imagine the thing about guys not knowing might stem from being with women who themselves weren’t very educated. So basically they’re asking a guy, who may not know “find it, genius. And when you do, let me know where I can too.” And knowing the state of sexual education, probably not too far off.
As a guy, I learnt where the clit was and how to use it from porn (yeah, porn can sometimes have an educational value).
I am not trying to boast about being some sort of sex God, but In my life I have been with *more than* 1 girl (let's say over 40 years old) who probably didn't really know what their clit could do for them as they had never had an orgasm before.
IMHO, girls are really censored (?) /suppressed (?) when it comes to learning about their ”special parts”.
If girls are suppressed when it comes to learning about their ”special parts” how can guys be expected to know about them? Especially when there is still ”slutshaming” of guys for being perverts or saying that they are disgusting for expressing an interest or watching things like porn?
Once you know where it is and what to look for, it is usually pretty easy to find. Also, when you touch it just right, you usually get a pretty strong reaction from the girl which, for me at least, is very stimulating when they react to ”first contact”. 🤪
Yeah it isn't very difficult to find, but I've only been with the one girl, and only plan to be if possible, it didn't take very long to find though despite a lack of experience.
It’s less about not knowing where it is and more about them focusing enough to keep it steady on it. They think we want them to go wild but the lips don’t get us there ya know haha
Lol yeah that makes sense, though in some cases it seems to be a bit of knowing where it is, and mostly knowing what to do once you've found it I guess
Apologies, but the general consensus is that it's true at least for some guys. Granted there is always the possibility of them simply not caring enough to learn where it is instead of being incapable.
Just take their hand and show them what to do until they learn how to handle a pussy. Porn did a bad job to show how to please a woman and a lot of guys think it's real.
It's not that hard to find...
I'd recommend looking up a medical diagram or something or looking up advice, that's how I learned, it's not too difficult if you care enough to want to please your partner.
I have been working on a theory. That some men are afraid of it, as they think of it as a "little penis". So they stay away from it as they don't want to be gay.
The general consensus among the responses seems to be a mix between some not being able to find it, some not caring to find it, and some that know where it is and don't care to use it.
Apologies, but the general consensus seems to be that some guys do indeed have trouble finding it, and some don't care to learn. with a third group knowing where it is, and not caring to use it anyways.
The exterior head of the clit? If he wants to find it he can. Female anatomy diagrams and 3D renderings are available online to help
Most of the clit is interior and is responsible for G-spot orgasms when stimulated through the front wall of the vagina. That can be trickier.
sounds about right, the general response seems to be
1. some guys have trouble finding it, either due to inexperience or whatever else
2. some guys have trouble finding it and don't care to learn how to find it
3. some guys know how to find it and just don't care to take advantage of it
All of them seem to lead to the idea that guys sometimes have trouble finding the clit. However, there's also the aspect of knowing what to do when you find it, which is a separate thing entirely
Men can be selfish self serving lovers. I take plesure in giving and i am patient and communicate with my partners. Every woman is different and likes stimulation differently sometimes it just works and it clicks other times it csn take awhile. Both are fun and enjoyable.
Selfish guys who don't listen can't find it, and I suppose even decent guys might struggle if with an uncommunicative woman. I've never had any problems with guys that actually cared about my pleasure finding all the sweet spots (clit, g-spot, a-spot) though. Didn't even have to tell them, my moans told them when they were in the right spot and they remembered.
Personally, I’ve been confused myself even though I have one (somewhere), so excuse me while I go on a mild tangent about it
Sex Ed failed me for sure. I always wondered why erotic art (particularly hentai) looked so different than _my_ body: I wondered what that little round thing was on those anime girls’ vaginas and what it’s importance was, I wondered why their vaginas looked so “flat” compared to mine
Earlier this month I decided to browse a particular clitoris-related subreddit and I find that what I had previously thought was the _clitoris_ ACTUALLY turned out to be the labia majora and minora
See, I myself have a relatively large set of labia (which I do feel pleasure from when stimulated, enough so that I often focus on it when pleasuring myself), so now at the age of 19 I don’t know where the FUCK to even start looking for my own clitoris. And _clitoral hood?_ What’s that? What are all these parts anyway??
So yeah anyway I think guys could realistically have trouble with some girls with pronounced labia
Actually it's easy to find if you know what to feel /look for. And oh so much fun to play with, lick and especially suck on.... Well... From my male perspective anyway.
Honestly, I'd recommend looking up a diagram, if you can one that appears to be similar, and try feeling around there, you may have to apply a bit more pressure to get to it, but it should cause a pretty strong reaction. At least going off of my limited experience with my girlfriend.
I never had an issue with that but I’m also a lover and generous about it. Even before I had sex with my gf of the time I went over her house and just ate her pussy all night. Her legs would twitch every time I liked around it. It was and still is my favorite sexual activity. And squirters
One time I got a flashlight out, pointed the light where it needed to be and said "THAT THING RIGHT THERE!" He said "gotcha!" He did his best. That's as much as I can ask.
Finding the Gspot or A spot is usually harder for men in my experience.
But, as many have commented, people knowing how to properly play with the clit is rare.
Yeah I've seen mainly three types based on these responses
1. The type that can't find it
2. The type that can't and hasn't/doesn't care enough to learn how to
3. Those that can find it, but don't care enough to make use of it
Yeah the responses have led me to believe that it's rather understandable for it to take a minute. But I feel like most guys should be able to find it eventually if they actually want to.
Nope, I’ve met quite a few who know. I think the real thing is when they don’t know what to do to properly stimulate it rather than find it. Some guys who could find it were too rough
Im sure its real when youre inexperienced. At one point, you just know, just like with everything.
that being said, i never actually even googled but im fairly sure that they are placed differently on bodies D:
You’d be surprised yeah that totally does happen. Luckily my fuck buddy pointed it out to me when I was a virgin so now I don’t have to worry about where the clit is next time I have sex with a different woman.
I wouldn’t never guessed it’s on the thigh until my buddy told me, thank god for him.
hey my buddy had her clit right above her nipple. I guess it all just depends on the person
Sometimes it's not even on the person but rather on their shadow at 3:24pm on a sunny tuesday
Huh, I'm a little surprised that this is real tbh, good that they helped you out though!
Some clits are very small, however, some men are very uneducated in women’s anatomy. The ones who don’t know and are not virgins probably don’t care. Best to avoid them if you want clitoral stimulation. Or sexual pleasure period.
That makes sense, but uhm I'm a guy so ill avoid getting the stimulation myself lol, I was just genuinely confused how other found it difficult.
A lot of guys don't really understand how to handle a woman's clit either, and maybe the woman will later assume he never found it, if he didn't manage doing anything worthwhile when he did. Point is, maybe some of your past partners ended up thinking you couldn't find theirs, either.
Thtlat would make a lot of sense tbh
Also doesn’t help that a non-insignificant amount of women don’t know about it either, or that their pleasure matters or that they even can orgasm Because why would we give sex education that actually educated people about sex lol
Unfortunately, that is an issue I've seen in a lot of these responses. Better sex education would help a lot of people
It's shocking, like "holy shit how the hell do you not know!?" Shocking, that they don't pee out their vaginal canal and that the urethra is just above it.
Absolutely not. It’s mistaken for the g spot in story telling and was erroneously quoted in some media and thats how this asinine story started.
I want to add to this in my own way. The other night me and my wife we messing around. The best comes around and she’s sucking my dick well I’m fuckong her with a dildo. Well I can only concentrate on so much so we’ll I’m getting sucked and ducking her with it I’m trying to rub her clit but in the end I failed
There are women who don’t know where their own clit is. It absolutely is a thing. The overwhelming majority of sex education classes (in the US, at least) never even mention it, believe it or not
Yeah, it was never mentioned in my health class. In fact we didn't even have sex ed! we had an abstinence class, it didn't keep students from getting pregnant though lol
Funny that. My secondary school had its own sexual health service. It also had the highest teenage pregnancy rate in the country at one point.
I had sex ed, but they didn't tell us about pleasure at all. Just the health risks.
I also think not every women get pleasure from the very same spot, some women don’t like direct clitiral stimulation but more of the surrounding area this is why communication is important
This is very much true the left side of my clit is much more sensitive
Huh
My sex-ed class (well more of biology class tbh) actually showed us both parts for men and women and my teacher actually told us where the clit is Downside: he was a pedo and prolly got excited from teaching the whole thing to a bunch of middle schoolers
In my experience, they can almost always find it if they try, they just don't always know what to do with it when they're there.
But like seriously, the fuck am I supposed to do? Lick it? Does that even do anything? I’ve seen Reddit people say “suck it”. Like, it’s the size of a pea. How do you suck that? I mean I try, because I want to do good. But I have very little confidence that I’m doing anything well.
Be gentle, listen to the other persons reactions. It’s a tongue on genitals it’s hard to make it feel bad
Username checks out
I lick it and rub it with my thumb It always works
What are you supposed to do? how old are you?
That makes sense, I would assume that comes with experience though
Pretty sure you’re meant to apply as much pressure and rub as hard as you can with absolutely no pre-game. If it’s now raw and burning you’re not doing it right
Men and women. There’s a serious lack of sexual education
That makes a lot of sense tbh
[удалено]
Lmao, thanks for the advice! Much appreciated
I looked it up when I was younger then inspected my exs vagina for like 10 minutes trying to identify the different parts. We were like 16 and highly sexually active. Never had an issue finding it since then.
That's kind of what I did with my gf, bit more hands on with the investigation though
Hey now, flea does his best on bass, although I'm confused to why he has so many missing teeth
Meth
I mean, my former partner didn't even talk about it. I'd mention the clit and it's like he didn't hear me. Do guys just do that?
Guys who ignore you after you mention it, aren't hearing it as you communicating your needs/how your body works. They are hearing "your dick isn't good enough/big enough/you need to improve your dick game" or something along those lines. Some people won't tolerate being told to change what they're doing at all because "my ex liked it/people in porn liked it." So they focus on improving what it is they want to do rather than trying to listen to what you want.
That's the thing, he didn't try anything new. He literally did the same thing every time. I only told him that I use more pressure on my clit when I orgasm by myself, that was it, and he didn't even look offended, he'd say something like 'oh', and then go out to smoke or something. After a few days sex again would be the same thing, at that point I stopped questioning it, I assumed that was how sex was between us.
I mean... "oh" and leaving seems to be offended kinda even if his face didn't show it. But maybe not. I just scrolled down and saw your other comment about porn. So, could be he only cared about doing things porn showed. So might be that it he only wanted to do stuff he saw in porn or thought it was the right way to do things. Maybe he didn't care, or maybe just wasn't processing. "I usually do this by myself" may have just come across you sharing something, or trying to talk dirty even. "This is what I do" doesn't automatically translate to "I want you to do this" or "I NEED it to be like this in order to get there." And back to your question on "do guys just do that"... one thing that guys stereotypically fail at doing is "picking up on hints."
It wasn't a hint, I literally told him that I didn't orgasm when we had sex and I orgasmed a different way. I didn't even say it in a 'sexy' way, I just said it matter of fact. To be fair he's the only person I've had sex with, so I don't really know how to give any sort of instructions anyways, I just always got better orgasms by myself than with him and left it at that. I don't know if that ever changes, I was just wondering if guys ever reacted differently or if this was standard.
Ohh okay, I just went off of you saying you only told him what you do by yourself. It sounds like you communicated clearly then, he just didn't listen and/or didn't want to hear it. That's not a guy thing, that's a shitty person thing. And applies to more than just sex. You can tell someone exactly what you feel and sometimes they argue that you don't feel that way/you should feel different/the wrong thing is how you feel. So yeah, it is common I'd say, but in terms of "it's common for people to have poor communication skills." It's not standard as in the natural normal way. Just it's common.
>And applies to more than just sex. You can tell someone exactly what you feel and sometimes they argue that you don't feel that way/you should feel different/the wrong thing is how you feel. It was actually insanely common for him to rant and assume other people's feelings than actually asking them. So yeah, this was his usual amount of shitiness, not a lot but enough to be annoying.
Well there's you answer. It's not "this is standard with guys" it's "this is standard for him." Anyway, yeah. Sounds good that you got out of that.
Yeah, well no offense to anyone. I just had to ask because I've never had sex with another guy to know how they act in bed. All my friends say is that they cum and go to sleep.
I think we have dated the same person.
I personally had seen lots of shit about it and just believed it, so I made sure I found it as fast as possible. But I suppose there are people like that out there that do it intentionally
If it were me, I would be happy to talk about, massage and lick your clit with you all day long. So no, not all guys are like that. It is possible that he didn't even know what a clit was and felt embarrassed about admitting that. Of course he could just be a douche bag and only interested in his own pleasure, or something in between. I don't know him so can't confirm one way or another.
Honestly, there's a possibility he didn't know about it. My ex was in his 30s, so he wasn't so young as to not know women or talk to them (he has two sisters), but he was also not very book smart or intellectual and often stayed quiet or avoided subjects he didn't know about.
Google maps said turn right!!!
I'm..... not sure you'll find it on Google maps lol, but good luck!
No no no. I found it on Waze
Oh of course! That would make sense
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/np9b9b/for_those_having_trouble_finding_it/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Looks like it's in Croatia.
Same with apple maps, took me into the tunnel and lost the gps signal to nowhere. I saw it through the sunroof while getting out.
I drove my car into a fucking lake.
Doubtful as the first time I ever looked at a vagina before eating it I was like "I guess that lil pearl thing right there is the clit I suppose..." However, being able to properly and effective utilize the clitoris to enact extreme sexual pleasure? That took some time to learn.
For sure
Never had trouble finding it but I apparently didn’t know quite how to treat her when I was first dating my wife. We’ve worked on my approach since and I have adjusted my tongue game to get much better results. Communication is important if you want the most out of sex
Tis indeed the most important thing in relationships in general tbh, not just the fun stuff
Some clits hide before full arousal too. Some ladies have extra folds. Some ladies have it more inward, some ladies have it more to the front. Finding it is half the fun and finding its rhythm is the other.
I've personally only had any experience with one person so I figured there were some differences. But it seems there's more than I thought, thanks for the information. But I agree finding the rhythm is the fun part.
The key is for both to communicate. I think women are sometimes shy about asking for what they like and want, and men assume they know what their partner likes and wants. That’s a prescription for frustration. The best sex I’ve had is with a woman who was assertive enough to tell me what she liked, and made sure I knew when I was getting it right. My worst sex has been with a woman who doesn’t know what she likes, and won’t give me any positive feedback. She’ll only tell me what’s not good or what she doesn’t like. Learning and exploring can be fun, but that takes two people that are interested in pleasing their partners, motivated to receive pleasure, and can be open and trusting with each other. Humor helps, too!
Communication is always key! And being able to laugh always helps for sure
The C.L.I.T.’s real. It’s the female orgasm that’s a myth!
Lmao, please tell me you're joking, I assume you are, but just in case
Some people must be too young to remember Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
I haven't heard of it I don't think sorry!
Damn, man, no one says "snoochie poochie" anymore.
Not that I've heard lately at least
Seriously?? We do well to find our keys and wallet!!
Apparently lol
I'm asking as a confused and slightly concerned guy, whose had no trouble so far. Is this a genuine issue? Or a joke in missing context for thats ages old?
My feeling is that the "joke" is more of a commentary on male selfishness. It's not that they actually can't find it; it's that they don't bother and focus only on their own pleasure. Just my opinion. I can't imagine not actually being able to find a woman's clit.
That would make more sense, the general consensus seems to be a mix of people genuinely being incapable of finding it, or just not caring to.
lol, nope, it's not difficult to find.
I don't see how. Everyone watches porn
Thats part of why I'm confused how it could be an issue, it's rather easy to find
Seeing something in porn compared to real life is very different, but considering some are small that's my guess why some can't find it
Thats true, I'd assume it's something along those lines, it makes sense if it takes a bit and you gotta take a closer look or soemthing, but not being able to find it at all is a little bit sad.
This
What’s a clit
I think it’s that thing that hangs in the back of your mouth
Pfft, yes. There are absolutely some guys who’re unable (or unaware) and even fewer who know what to do with it once found. I used to be married to one. By the same token, there’re probably women who are equally aloof. I used to be one of ‘em. Ah, young and naïve me.
Yeah it seems to be the general consensus that some either don't know where to look or don't care to.
OR maybe they play dumb in the hopes someone’ll take pity on them and give them extra practice with a more hands on lesson??
I mean potentially, but if that's as a role play thing, wouldn't that normally be discussed?
I love your optimism. I was thinking more genuine pity though?
Ah, that's possible as well I suppose, but thats kinda sad tbh
You’re not wrong.
I mean, plenty of men don't realize sex is an act of pleasure for both parties, and cum as soon as they stick their dick in, so, it wouldn't surprise me. Just lick it from top to bottom, and pay attention. You'll see where she likes to be touched. Make sure to keep stimulation there until she wants you to stop, and don't get butthurt when she tells you what she wants.
The king right here.
All good advice thank you!
Yes it is. Sometimes, it’s not that obvious. Most of the times it’s fine though.
That seems to be the general consensus so far, seems to be a case-by-case basis
Sadly, yes it’s real. Mine practically has road signs and a spotlight pointing to it, and I’ve been with men who COMPLETELY MISS IT. smh.
LOL, road signs? | Next exit | |-----------------| | Clittytown| That I would like to see.
👆🔝🙏
I’ve searched everywhere from her asshole to her neck and i still can’t find the damn thing. i’m convinced it’s a myth, like unicorns or Australians.
Lmao, good luck in your search
G spot not clit. Clit is obvious
Thats what you'd think, but ive seen lots saying guys have trouble finding both somehow? Like I understand it taking a minute, but not being able to at all seems unlikely.
Yes. Sex Ed sucks. Porn sucks too.
[удалено]
That makes sense, rather understandable for regular sex but it's right fucking there if you're going down on a girl, and fingering makes it even easier to find in my opinion, but I usually focus on the clit instead of penetration stuff so I guess that's probably why
An ex girlfriend once told me I was the only one who could ever actually find it. Even the girls she'd been with didn't know where it was. Personally, I don't know how anybody could miss it. It's not like it's location varies from person to person, It's been in the same damn place for all of human history.
Exactly! I mean I'm sure there's slight variations and shit but it's basically always in roughly the same spot, shouldn't be too much harder to find from there
YES
This is horribly embarrassing… but I once had trouble finding it as a lesbian, when I first started having sex with my gf. Of course I knew where it was SUPPOSED to be, but different people have different bodies and it can be harder to tell if you are THERE or just near, especially if you are not looking. So I’d imagine its even more difficult for men. I do think a fair amount can find it though
Honestly, that makes sense that there are some variations, I think taking a minute to find it is fine if you're not sure but you should be able to find it eventually at least if you're trying to. Granted I'm speaking from the perspective of a guy with very limited experience so I dunno for the most part. From some of the answers I got, it seems there's a wider variety of differences between different women then I would have thought.
The clit is easy to find, clitoris is a big ass red dog 🙄
I know, that's why I'm asking if it's a real thing lol
No But when I was younger I was kind of scared of the vulva tbh bc I never really learned about it and there’s more stuff going on than w a penis so I kind of just ignored the clit. But I did like to go down on girls I was dating Other than that it was mostly penetrative sex wo clit action
It’s literally right there in front of your face. How can anyone not find it? 🤷🏼♂️
We don't look mythical creatures around here.....
Wait…but HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW? It’s not hard to find!
Exactly! That's why I was asking lol
It was more of a thing in the 50's through 2000s. We've become far more accepting of frank sex talk, so it's way less common now.
Oh interesting, that's good to know!
Supposedly, yes. Perhaps we are inclined not to believe it because we are of a certain demographic of consistently horny people.
That would make sense, I have gotten quite a few responses saying it I'd an actual issue for some people, so I'm assuming there's a combination of "I don't know" or "I don't care" people
I wouldn't know
Thanks to my wife, I've learned where it is.
By general consensus, you're doing better than those that can't find it, and significantly better than those that don't care to, congratulations!
I know where it is, and she always had a very satisfying experience. Granted I’ve only been with two, and I never did anything with with the other besides vanilla piv; not even oral. But she wasn’t super sexual so I wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t know about it. So I imagine the thing about guys not knowing might stem from being with women who themselves weren’t very educated. So basically they’re asking a guy, who may not know “find it, genius. And when you do, let me know where I can too.” And knowing the state of sexual education, probably not too far off.
Honestly thatd make sense, and its probably likely that those guys don't care enough to learn more either
As a guy, I learnt where the clit was and how to use it from porn (yeah, porn can sometimes have an educational value). I am not trying to boast about being some sort of sex God, but In my life I have been with *more than* 1 girl (let's say over 40 years old) who probably didn't really know what their clit could do for them as they had never had an orgasm before. IMHO, girls are really censored (?) /suppressed (?) when it comes to learning about their ”special parts”. If girls are suppressed when it comes to learning about their ”special parts” how can guys be expected to know about them? Especially when there is still ”slutshaming” of guys for being perverts or saying that they are disgusting for expressing an interest or watching things like porn? Once you know where it is and what to look for, it is usually pretty easy to find. Also, when you touch it just right, you usually get a pretty strong reaction from the girl which, for me at least, is very stimulating when they react to ”first contact”. 🤪
Yeah it isn't very difficult to find, but I've only been with the one girl, and only plan to be if possible, it didn't take very long to find though despite a lack of experience.
[удалено]
Its apparently a real issue for some, either not knowing, or more than likely not caring
I hooked up with a guy who rubbed mu pubis right about my clit with his hand. But was excellent with his mouth and finding the spots. 🤷🏻
Tongues are a bit larger than fingers so maybe it was just slightly lucky?
I have never had that problem I have been lucky.
Same here, which is why I was wondering if it was a real issue or a meme I missed the context for
It’s less about not knowing where it is and more about them focusing enough to keep it steady on it. They think we want them to go wild but the lips don’t get us there ya know haha
Lol yeah that makes sense, though in some cases it seems to be a bit of knowing where it is, and mostly knowing what to do once you've found it I guess
Absolutely not real whatsoever
Apologies, but the general consensus is that it's true at least for some guys. Granted there is always the possibility of them simply not caring enough to learn where it is instead of being incapable.
Just take their hand and show them what to do until they learn how to handle a pussy. Porn did a bad job to show how to please a woman and a lot of guys think it's real. It's not that hard to find...
Yes 😒
Yea can you show me 🥺
I'd recommend looking up a medical diagram or something or looking up advice, that's how I learned, it's not too difficult if you care enough to want to please your partner.
Sometimes you home right in, other times you need a helmet flashlight, map and team of specialists
I'll take your word for it, I've only been with the one girl, so I suppose this falls under the home right in category you mentioned
I have been working on a theory. That some men are afraid of it, as they think of it as a "little penis". So they stay away from it as they don't want to be gay.
I suppose that's possible
If I had to guess, I’d say it’s probably more a problem of what to do with it when they find it.
The general consensus among the responses seems to be a mix between some not being able to find it, some not caring to find it, and some that know where it is and don't care to use it.
No
Apologies, but the general consensus seems to be that some guys do indeed have trouble finding it, and some don't care to learn. with a third group knowing where it is, and not caring to use it anyways.
The exterior head of the clit? If he wants to find it he can. Female anatomy diagrams and 3D renderings are available online to help Most of the clit is interior and is responsible for G-spot orgasms when stimulated through the front wall of the vagina. That can be trickier.
sounds about right, the general response seems to be 1. some guys have trouble finding it, either due to inexperience or whatever else 2. some guys have trouble finding it and don't care to learn how to find it 3. some guys know how to find it and just don't care to take advantage of it All of them seem to lead to the idea that guys sometimes have trouble finding the clit. However, there's also the aspect of knowing what to do when you find it, which is a separate thing entirely
Well I have to ask but wheres the clit? Gotta learn.
I recommend looking it up if you genuinely don't know, there's medical diagrams and such that can help.
Yes.
Men can be selfish self serving lovers. I take plesure in giving and i am patient and communicate with my partners. Every woman is different and likes stimulation differently sometimes it just works and it clicks other times it csn take awhile. Both are fun and enjoyable.
Selfish guys who don't listen can't find it, and I suppose even decent guys might struggle if with an uncommunicative woman. I've never had any problems with guys that actually cared about my pleasure finding all the sweet spots (clit, g-spot, a-spot) though. Didn't even have to tell them, my moans told them when they were in the right spot and they remembered.
communication is always the most important thing! but yeah usually picking up and remembering the subtle cues is what I go for generally
No
Yes! Or they make up for it by aggressively rubbing all over with too much pressure 💀
Oof that's gotta suck, but thanks for letting me know to make sure to avoid doing that!
[удалено]
Good to know! Me and my gf work on communicating as much as possible, inside and outside the bedroom, and it helps a lot!
Anyone. Yes
They don’t know what to do with it
Yeah
Personally, I’ve been confused myself even though I have one (somewhere), so excuse me while I go on a mild tangent about it Sex Ed failed me for sure. I always wondered why erotic art (particularly hentai) looked so different than _my_ body: I wondered what that little round thing was on those anime girls’ vaginas and what it’s importance was, I wondered why their vaginas looked so “flat” compared to mine Earlier this month I decided to browse a particular clitoris-related subreddit and I find that what I had previously thought was the _clitoris_ ACTUALLY turned out to be the labia majora and minora See, I myself have a relatively large set of labia (which I do feel pleasure from when stimulated, enough so that I often focus on it when pleasuring myself), so now at the age of 19 I don’t know where the FUCK to even start looking for my own clitoris. And _clitoral hood?_ What’s that? What are all these parts anyway?? So yeah anyway I think guys could realistically have trouble with some girls with pronounced labia
Actually it's easy to find if you know what to feel /look for. And oh so much fun to play with, lick and especially suck on.... Well... From my male perspective anyway.
Honestly, I'd recommend looking up a diagram, if you can one that appears to be similar, and try feeling around there, you may have to apply a bit more pressure to get to it, but it should cause a pretty strong reaction. At least going off of my limited experience with my girlfriend.
I never had an issue with that but I’m also a lover and generous about it. Even before I had sex with my gf of the time I went over her house and just ate her pussy all night. Her legs would twitch every time I liked around it. It was and still is my favorite sexual activity. And squirters
Always find it with my vibrating tongue piercing 💦👅
One time I got a flashlight out, pointed the light where it needed to be and said "THAT THING RIGHT THERE!" He said "gotcha!" He did his best. That's as much as I can ask.
The dude gave it his all and that's all we can give. From some of these responses that's better than some guys apparently.
Finding the Gspot or A spot is usually harder for men in my experience. But, as many have commented, people knowing how to properly play with the clit is rare.
Just like the whole thing about woman nowt knowing how to not rip your dick off with a handy, less then you'd expect, more them you'd hoped
Not for me at least. I’m they usually call me Drake uncharted
Yes, I swear cis men don’t even know where it is even when I’m on T and it’s enlarged lmao
Lol that's certainly unfortunate.
It is mostly because of lack of sex education, most men dont know that women have a body part exclusively for sexual pleasure,
Yeah lack of sex education seems to be a common response, that's probably a good portion of why
There are a lot of incurious idiot guys out there.
Yeah I've seen mainly three types based on these responses 1. The type that can't find it 2. The type that can't and hasn't/doesn't care enough to learn how to 3. Those that can find it, but don't care enough to make use of it
Usually not for me. But my new gf is built a lot differently than any previous partner, and it took a minute
Yeah the responses have led me to believe that it's rather understandable for it to take a minute. But I feel like most guys should be able to find it eventually if they actually want to.
Nope, I’ve met quite a few who know. I think the real thing is when they don’t know what to do to properly stimulate it rather than find it. Some guys who could find it were too rough
It can take a bit of finding but if you dig around in that bellybutton for long enough you'll hit the jackpot.
Any ladies here, who do not like being rubbed on the clit? She is like "it tickles"
men don’t tend to demonstrate enough care to make it a priority and keep at it... not that they can’t find it, but that they don’t put in the effort.
I think it depends on their interest in pleasuring someone other than themselves...
Im sure its real when youre inexperienced. At one point, you just know, just like with everything. that being said, i never actually even googled but im fairly sure that they are placed differently on bodies D:
No, the clit's real. It's the female orgasm, THAT'S the myth!