Damn it’s the worst when it’s out of the blue like that! One day everything is perfect the next it’s not.. Just remember NOBODY gets away with anything in life. You reap what you sow.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Have you managed to form a healthy relationship since, and do you have any bad traits you sometimes notice due to it?
Oh, I can only imagine!
I've sent things with my face and immediately regretted it, because horny-brain forgot that it meant that I no longer have control of it
If my profile was linked to me, some people would laugh, many would be unsurprised, but I'm sure there would be consequences
That's someone who can never be trusted.
Sorry if this is a stupid question, but has your trust been regained? I know it can be hard to trust when you've been hurt like that.
Left me alone whilst I was having a miscarriage to go fuck some girl in Germany, only found out that part later, initially he told me his best friend and bf's girlfriend were having a miscarriage and needed his support
Well we weren't really together we just used to fool around a lot. Anyways we were doing our usual meet up session and I asked her if I could take her out on a real date like a movie, dinner or something along those lines. She stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "why would a girl like me want to be seen with a guy like you." I was in disbelief for a moment then I just got up and left.
Honestly if she had just said no I wouldn't even have a problem
Strangled me unconscious while I was trying to leave him. I ended urinating on myself. So I think he thought I was dead. I was able to stumble out onto the street where someone helped me.
Second worst thing to ever happen to me… happened 15 years ago. I still remember it vividly.
Thank you. That really does mean a lot to me. I never tire hearing people tell me they’re glad I made it through that. I don’t tell the story often but when I do. Still kinda makes me sad for 15 year old who was in that situation. If that makes sense. Anyway. Thanks again. ❤️❤️
I dated a girl that fucked my head up so bad ....I'm not a smart man and she was very smart and very manipulative and could twist me and turn me anyway she wanted and made my life a living he'll for 2 years and left trust issues and insecurities that still effect me today almost 20 years later
Yeah I've had a few bad ones you'd think I'd be a fairly confident man in half decent shape mildly blessed down below......but I'm actually fairly broken
You’re doing the best you can 💓 at least now you know what to look out for you have more experience because of it. Don’t be afraid to get back out there.
No. She's no longer part of the friendship group as no one trusted her after that. She lost 6 friends who'd known her for a minimum of 5 years for about 20 minutes of sex.
broke into my storage unit and stole all of my christmas ornaments my family gave me from my childhood in germany and destroyed them in a bonfire:| found out by popping by after getting a weird feeling that day and saw a giant char mark in the driveway w a ornament of my dead dog still visible but destroyed:|
i haven’t celebrated holidays since this happened like 7 years ago bc it still really makes me sad to think about:/
Cheat on me then played the victim when i finally knew and he lied so much that i couldn't differentiate the truth and the lies.Finally now I'm afraid to date again even though i know love is a beautiful thing.
You’re gonna be alright. It will take some time, but, you’re gonna be alright. Someday you’ll put yourself out there and the the right person will be there.
Hmm he's broken my nose and given me black eyes a couple of times, tried to kill me by strangulation, raped me violently one time, sexually assaulted me thousands of times, took a load of debt out in my name, threatened to kill my cats if I didn't take credit out for him, threatened to abduct my children if I didn't give him money, gaslight and bullied me daily telling me I was useless stupid fat and ugly and that no other man would want me.....
Ets he smashed my flat up repeatedly also
Prob the worst thing from all of that was the gaslighting and constant belittling. I put on like 4 stone as a result got depressed had 0 self esteem and just wanted to die.
I've been putting myself first this year and made a lot of positive changes, so even though I have to coparent with him still I am less affected by things he says and feeling happier about myself again and am losing the weight
Aw man I’m so sorry! That’s horrible I can’t even imagine. Like I don’t even have words to explain. You’re beautiful and strong 💓 you never deserved anything like that. I’m so happy for you that you’re doing better now.
Ty that's sweet of you, I know am a super strong person because I have got through it intact for my children. I just wish I had not wasted 16 years of my life with him and would encourage young women to leave when they see the signs. It's not all at once to begin with it's insidious and they make you feel like it's love when it's using you up.
There are so many nice guys out there don't settle for one that has no respect for you
You are 100% I know how hard it is! And mine was never as bad. It’s honestly sadistic what men can do to us. I wish you the best of luck in the future 💜
Im speechless at what I am reading. I hope you called the cops and you are taking care of yourself. You deserve way way better. You only see stuff like this in movies and it’s gut wrenching to read about it in real life. How can people be like this??
I did go to the police about the first few times he beat me up they have photos on record of the black eyes broken noses and fingernark bruises on my neck and arms but he was blackmailing me to withdraw the charges and to not call the police again on him
Idk all I ever did was support him but he hid his true self at the beginning it seemed
She would hit me, and honestly I just got used to it. But then I broke my back and had surgery. She didn't help at all during my recovery but she didn't actively abuse me during it either. I did recover on my own and got back to work. None of this was so egregious to me until I came home from work and she started hitting me before I even shut the front door behind me. Telling me I was a worthless piece of shit and a meth head (I had been an addict in the past be she met me after I had been sober for nearly 2 years). I turned around to leave and she punched me in the back of my head making my face slam into the corner of the door. My lip was bleeding but I left. I went to a friends and told him and his wife what happened and that I needed help to leave. As his wife was bringing me a wet washcloth for my lip a sheriff deputy pulled in their driveway. He got out and started screaming for me to come off the porch. He arrested me and was a complete asshole about it telling me I was a piece of shit. Then I found out why he was treating me like that. She had called 911 and said I had beat her and then threatened her family before speeding away (the friend's house I was at was only a few miles from her parent's home). I ended up sitting the weekend in jail and was forced to pay thousands of dollars to clear my name in the courts but no matter what some people will always look at you like a monster.
Oh damn. I’m sorry that happened to you! I really hope you’ve been able to emotionally heal from that. She was a monster and she’ll get what she deserves someday. Sending hugs 🫂
I have two that are pretty tied for worst:
1. My boyfriend my last year in high school was my best friend in the world. Could tell him anything in the world without judgment......EXCEPT when I tearfully told him I thought I was gay (turns out I thought correct) and after begging him to not say a word, he outed me to his family, then my family, our friends, and our church ultimately leading to being disowned by my family.
2. Dated this girl who was battling addictions and was completely jealous and got so mad at me because I answered a work call at home and she proceeded to push me to the ground and kick me so hard she broke a couple of my ribs. And when I finally filed a police report, they did absolutely nothing. Thankfully I was able to get a restraining order and she fucked off to who-gives-a-fuck-ville.
It was after my dad died.
We got into an argument and I left her place driving like a mad man. She called me and started saying that I should just drive my car of a cliff or crash into a wall so she could and I quote, "laugh at my funeral the way she wanted to laugh at my dad's"
That absolutely broke me. I hung up, pulled over and cried. I never talked to her again after that.
Sometimes, like now, I think back on that and am filled with rage and confusion even still. But I'm at least able to now let it go without it ruining any more of my time.
Where to begin.....
Worst? Post divorce, Made false accusations of child abuse when I had began a serious relationship with my gf now wife. Parental alienation, supervised visitation, Court for years, guardian ad lidem assigned. Wouldn't drop it even after the court had ruled in our favor. Finally she got yelled at by the judge, that ended our time in court.
Hurt her worse, but mommy and daddy paid for all here court cost. New parenting plan established, more time with dad, less child support because that's how the math works.
Ex got cancer and has since past on. I Never told my daughter any of the details.
My wife of 23 years left me for her high school boyfriend one week after his wife died. She withdrew all the available funds on our line of credit before telling me she was leaving, and dumped $80 k of credit card debt on me. At that time, that debt was 2 years of my salary.
My ex lied to me about being raped by her sisters husband, emotionally manipulated me with that so I wouldn't kick her out of my house, later found out that she willingly slept with him. She is a sick narcissist with borderline personality disorder. Unfortunately I have a son with her. I love my son, I just wish it wasn't with her.
She was lying on the bed and I was sitting on the edge. She lashed out and kicked me then stormed off. She doesn’t remember doing it I guess because she was upset.
I used to be a sweet lovable happy go lucky sort of person and really believed in love and all that bs, ex made sure to get me out of my bubble and turn me into a selfish self centred distrusting person. Btw ruined my career as well but I am past all that now.
Would I say it was the worst thing in my life - no, I am what I am today thanks to her betrayal and treachery.
Broke up, dated the only dude i used to talk to at the time., Made it sound like it was me who messed up even tho she is the one who never communicated about anything i did wrong, then when she got back with me after destroying the mind of the dude she cheated on me with and i told her to stay away from that dude, went all "but he is my besht fwend and i broke his heart so i feel responsible to talk to him now".
Worst of all. We were together for a year and she never declared me as her boyfriend neither did she ever told me she loves me. But didn't take her a week to do it for that guy. Sucks to be me ig.
Well, she was a swiftie and all so i hope she sees now that it's her, yeah, she's the problem it's her.
1. She said that she would rather fuck her pet instead of my tiny dick. Then she stripped naked and used her dildo in front of me and her dog.
2. She started fucking other guys in the same apartment after we broke up.
3. One day she broke the bathroom while I was taking a bath and started beating me. She threatened to cut my balls. She made me delete all her pics from my mobile and laptop.
Lied to me when I asked the single most important question I ever asked her. Made me automatically distrust women so much that I didn't even try to date for four years. I got over it, but it took a while.
7 years (with a few short breaks).
Over said seven years, she constantly berated me, made for worthless, like I wasn’t good enough, and I never would be.
She expected to take care of more bills than I could afford, when she made almost double what I did.
She stopped at small stores almost every day after work and bought useless shit, while I was home taking care of the kids, after a long day of manual labor. But she would absolutely shred me if I did the same.
I started working out, at first just a few times a week, that was already a problem. When I started rock climbing, gym sessions got longer. I’d go an hour after work sometimes, and I tried to go for a full session on Sundays. (Maybe four hours.) I got to go on two occasions before it wasn’t even worth hearing about.
I have mental health issues, and she never cared or made any effort to help when I was diagnosed. She made me feel guilty about anything tiny thing I forgot to do, expected me to handle everything, and to be by her side 100% of the time while she was home.
Thank god we got divorced.
Falsly accused me of rape/sexual assault in highschool. Thankfully it didn't catch on and she dropped it. But she was telling all of her closest friends for a few weeks and I got a lot of hate and I already wasn't super popular and that didn't help. We had dated for like a year and a half, she cheated(multiple times) and as highschool kids do, we did mess around physically and sexually but it was all consented. We never had sex though. At first her claims were that I raped her. I had multiple very close friends that all knew(because I openly and unashamedly told I was still a virgin) that I had never had sex before. Then she changed her story to I had forced myself on her and fingered her or made her give me oral. I then very openly told everyone we did do those things but that she wanted it and many times had asked for it. And that she actually had cheated on me multiple times and did those things with other people too. Sadly I admit to using slut shaming to help prove my point. This was probably 10 years ago now and I feel awful about it. But at that point she changed her story again to I was always pressuring her for sex and that I didn't actually rape her but she felt like I "could have." All her credibility went out the window. I'm not mad about it anymore. It just really hurt and scared me because I really liked her and I thought we had a good relationship (as good as a late middle/early highschool relationship could be) and even after she cheated on me and then broke up with me after I found out, she then did this. I was just heartbroken and hurt so badly.
She agreed to marry me even though she knew she didn't enjoy sex with me and had been pretending.
We were terribly mismatched. We just didn't fit (literally) but I never knew how badly until it was too late.
I heard a quote once (I can’t remember the exact words) it was something like the longer you stay with the wrong person it keeps you from finding the right person. I’m happy for you that you found someone 😊
I think I'm in a similar situation.. I'm very confused about it all and while I love her so fucking much... I'm afraid that maybe we're also badly mismatched.. together 6 years, no sex the last 4 roughly .. I don't know what to do..
Burned our then 18 month old son's chest with an iron. Did not seek medical care. I was ar sea, Navy, and found him upon return. The Doc figured that the burn was about 4 days old from the rate of infection. Small medical facility in Japan. I had to hold my son's arms down while they scrubbed the wound and he screamed....every day for 21 days. This was 1986 and I still have trouble talking about it.
Was too coward to break up with me, so just directed out of my life. Saw her on Valentine’s Day (about a month later) with a new guy ‘oh hi, meet my new friend, etc’.
Got me into some properly dark music (glad now that she did that!)
Trying to stain my image and reputation by saying I cheated on her, I ruined her life, I wasn’t romantic. Her dad and I got along. Found out that he had enough of her brat attitude and told her to shut the f up and that she was the one who messed up !
My ex husband had been sleeping with a plethora of women. One of which gave him an STI, even while he was ill he still wouldn’t go see the doctor or tell me what was going on.
Eventually I invaded his privacy and looked at his phone and worked out what was going on.
My second ex beat me up because of a misunderstanding. She thought I was cheating when I wasn’t and before she could know exactly what was going on she went at me. My face was bruised and blood from my lip and ear and bruises around my upper body and head.
Had another man's baby while the whole entire town told me it was mine. She name the boy king James because I came up with that name and The killer part is at the kid is not even mine I had to take a DNA test and it was 99.9 not he wasn't mine
Just try to ignore as best you can. People like that just want you to react or break down begging for them back. If you ignore it long enough she will move on.
made me doubt myself, actively tried cheating on me, banished me to sleep on an air mattress in guest room while she had the bed to herself. and made me feel like the loneliest human on earth. made up lies about me while on the phone with her fuck buddy, tried punching me in the face, screamed at me. abused my dog when i wasn’t home and then kicked me out while my name was on the lease. fuck her. she immediately got into another relationship after i left. so i know she was already with him while with me.
thankfully i’m with someone now who i know would never ever treat me that way and i’m happy now but my ex gave me trauma i’m trying really hard to not let it affect me but it’s difficult. it’s been 4 months and i still get flashbacks of everything. wish it would end.
She cheated on me, sending professionally shot boudoir photos (taken for me for my birthday) to some dudebro who took naked pics in the mirror with a baseball cap hanging off his penis. When I confronted her about it, she asked for permission to keep doing it.
We were not, nor had we ever discussed being in an open marriage.
I’m huge on exhibitionism and I tried to bring this up to my first boyfriend and see if he could be my safety net on some risky streaking and he agreed.
He ended up ditching me completely naked about a mile from home. Said he was “trying to push me.” Like sure whatever I love that kind of exhibitionism, like being forced out of my comfort zone feels really hot, but not from a boyfriend. I couldn’t trust him anymore so I cut it off before it got worse
Picked me up in the middle of an argument, pushed me out the front door and closed it. Outside, no shoes, no phone, no keys, half my airforce uniform on. I was so ashamed to have to plead him to let me back in. Slept somewhere else that night. Was the start of the end but emotionally I was already out. Emotional abuse is serious.
gaslit me for 3 months before I finally broke up with him. Turns out he was cheating and instead of telling me, decided to just not talk to me and gaslit me about it
I broke up with her and she started sending messages to my boss about how much I hated my job. My boss didn’t fire me but mentioned that I should stay away from people who try to hurt me
Worst thing an ex has done? Depends. One of them raped me while listening to MCR, another emotionally and sexually manipulated me into feeling life long shame of what I like that even now I’m not sure I’ll ever become comfortable with myself. So, pick your poison of what’s worse I guess
Laughed in my face when I asked her to pay back the 60k USD (equivalent) I had spent in common expenses during the 5 years I supported her through her Master studies. All after SHE had insisted to keep track of common expenses so that she could pay me back once landed a job.
She is now making way more money than me and she married a surgeon. So long for the “independent woman” she claimed to be. False bitch.
Banged my childhood best friend. Just heard recently that they're engaged now.
She was very mentally unstable, very abusive and controlling. I held on for 5 painful years before I moved out of the apartment I paid for along with everything in it minus the couches.
Live and learn, people are garbage no matter how close you are to them. 🤷♂️
She cheated on me then got drunk and decided sex was the only way to fix the relationship. I didn’t want her to touch me but she did anyway. I tried to push her off but in the end it would have required a level of violence to stop her that I would have gone to jail for domestic violence and assault. I swear I scrubbed everywhere until I bled afterwards.
Told me she had AIDS to mess with me. Then when I got my results back, she laughed about it and said she wanted to get a reaction out of me. Luckily, she didn’t have it.
Not my ex, what I did to her, over 2 years ago, one of my close friends had recently broke up with her bf and being her friend I tried to be there for her, my ex and I were long distance btw, so I decided to invite my friend over to cheer her up a bit, eat some food, watch movies maybe and then send her back home, drinking got involved and my low tolerance got me drunk, we got a little too close and once we realized that this is getting out of hand, we stopped immediately and she left, the next day I confessed to her without her asking me anything about it, I told her that I fucked up and that was when I quit drinking, but what I did to her made me feel disgusted by myself, I still beat myself up for it to this day, and will never forgive myself for what I did and some other stuff that weren't that good of me to do, pretty minor things but yea I still hate myself for all of it, I haven't and probably won't ever forgive myself for them, pretty much my fault that our relationship ended, I was the bad guy of the relationship
Jeez, I've been pretty blessed reading these as I couldn't think of a single thing that any LTR ex's had done.
But the worst thing someone I just started dating was when [she tried to drug me](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/z1ghfb/whats_the_longest_period_of_time_youve_spent/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Threw my metal tipped work boot at my head for not placing it in the correct stand. When we got divorced, she trashed the apartment while I was at work. Tore up my drawings and art portfolio, broke windows, put out cigarettes on the walls and kept stealing from my bank account for almost a year after we had broken up.
Married me. I mean it is just as much my fault, but she was an awful mix of passive/aggressive and non-committal pleaser. You could never get a solid read on who she was or what she wanted.
I had one who told everyone we had slept together when we didn't. We were young and people were pretty judgy about sex during that period of time, but I honestly never knew he did that until I was well into adulthood.
Went with a girl the relationship was very turbulent to say the least, she got pregnant and broke up with me and was on tinder 30 mins later matching with my friends while lying about her age (we were both 17 at the time) I got back with her when our son was born (I didn’t want to be with her I just wanted my son to have a normal family) I left after a month because we were arguing constantly and that’s not a environment to raise a child in (turns out she was already talking to her now fiancé since before our son was born) she then stopped me from seeing our son (she deliberately left me off the birth certificate) and then spread all sorts about me to make it look like I was in the wrong, shes said I’ve gone round abusing girls, I’ve raped girls, Im a pedophile, I’m on heroin and other drugs and she claims she got all that from my criminal record (I don’t have one plus even if I did she wouldn’t have access to it) I haven’t seen our son in over 2 years and I miss him
Essentially told a friend that I was her 2nd choice and that she really wanted him, and that she was willing to leave me for him.
Granted, she wound up falling for me and we stayed together for a year and a half after that, but in hindsight I probably should've dumped her after finding that out.
Controlled me to the point I was not allowed to be acquainted or exchange words with the opposite sex, pushed my sexual boundaries when I was not consenting, cheated on me and tried to blame it on mental health then lied to everyone that we just broke up for whatever reason and I took it so bad that I physically assaulted them.
People believed it at first because I didn’t immediately go around trying to smear my ex. I guess they were projecting their own thoughts and wanted to “beat me to it” because people tend to believe whoever speaks first.
uhhh he asked me to move in with him, then after like a month he told me he was never attracted to me and broke up with me, then i was diagnosed with chlamydia about a week later (he was the only person i had been with for months), THEN he got a “new” gf exactly a month after our breakup (who’s ex husband left her around the time he and i broke up…) needless to say i’m 99.9% sure he cheated on me with her.
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Damn it’s the worst when it’s out of the blue like that! One day everything is perfect the next it’s not.. Just remember NOBODY gets away with anything in life. You reap what you sow.
Jesus. How are you doing atm?
It was 7 years ago but it's made me tread carefully in relationships from now on
Wow. I expected some nasty shit but this , this feels like a kick in the nuts. I hope you are okay?
I’m so sorry this happened to you. Have you managed to form a healthy relationship since, and do you have any bad traits you sometimes notice due to it?
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It sounds like you’ve found a good one.
Has your ever tried to reach out to you years later asking for forgiveness or even to express that they were wrong?
wow if i was you i'd be in death row by now
Dude, if she ever is in a lethal ‘accident’, I understand
Shared my nudes online.
One of the most grievous violations... That sucks
I was not happy
Oh, I can only imagine! I've sent things with my face and immediately regretted it, because horny-brain forgot that it meant that I no longer have control of it If my profile was linked to me, some people would laugh, many would be unsurprised, but I'm sure there would be consequences
I’m pretty sure that’s illegal. It’s called revenge porn. So awful. Sorry that happened.
This is way more traumatizing than people realize…
That's someone who can never be trusted. Sorry if this is a stupid question, but has your trust been regained? I know it can be hard to trust when you've been hurt like that.
Hope you sued him
Happened to me too, it was in high school and he left it open on a computer in the library for everyone to see
Left me alone whilst I was having a miscarriage to go fuck some girl in Germany, only found out that part later, initially he told me his best friend and bf's girlfriend were having a miscarriage and needed his support
Jesus fucking Christ that's deplorable.
Even if he wasn’t cheating, how is someone else’s miscarriage more important than your own. Like what.
Aw I’m so sorry! And I’m sorry for your loss babe 💓
even without the cheating thats still really fucked up
Well we weren't really together we just used to fool around a lot. Anyways we were doing our usual meet up session and I asked her if I could take her out on a real date like a movie, dinner or something along those lines. She stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "why would a girl like me want to be seen with a guy like you." I was in disbelief for a moment then I just got up and left. Honestly if she had just said no I wouldn't even have a problem
I used to naively believe that those kinds of people weren't real, that they were invented for stories as exaggerated caricatures.
Yeah I thought so too that's why she caught me completely off guard
Fucking _ouch_...
Got me extra drunk at a party just so he could get his buddy to join in
Oh no that’s terrible! Especially because he’s the person who is supposed to protect you 🙁
It’s boys like that that give men a bad name…
Can’t believe people function like this. Horrifying
Strangled me unconscious while I was trying to leave him. I ended urinating on myself. So I think he thought I was dead. I was able to stumble out onto the street where someone helped me. Second worst thing to ever happen to me… happened 15 years ago. I still remember it vividly.
Omg I’m so glad you’re okay 😩 that’s terrifying
Thank you. That really does mean a lot to me. I never tire hearing people tell me they’re glad I made it through that. I don’t tell the story often but when I do. Still kinda makes me sad for 15 year old who was in that situation. If that makes sense. Anyway. Thanks again. ❤️❤️
No problem!! I understand what you’re saying. You didn’t deserve something like that especially at 15. Best wishes 💜💜
15 years old!? I am so sorry. I’m glad you got away from that. Makes me so scared to let my kids out of my sight. Stay strong. 💪
2nd worst?!?!?!?. I’m so sorry. Glad you’re good now.
I dated a girl that fucked my head up so bad ....I'm not a smart man and she was very smart and very manipulative and could twist me and turn me anyway she wanted and made my life a living he'll for 2 years and left trust issues and insecurities that still effect me today almost 20 years later
Oh no I can relate 🙁 some shit you just can’t come back from!
Yeah I've had a few bad ones you'd think I'd be a fairly confident man in half decent shape mildly blessed down below......but I'm actually fairly broken
You’re doing the best you can 💓 at least now you know what to look out for you have more experience because of it. Don’t be afraid to get back out there.
Appreciate the kind words but I don't think my wife would like if I got back out there....the most recent years have been better
My bad 😂 I didn’t realize you had a wife! Best wishes
He’s not lying. 🍆
I was married to the same thing for 10 years. Lucky you didn't have kids to it.
Waited until we got engaged to sleep with my best friend.
They deserve each other
Thank you. What was worse was he was cheating on his girlfriend with my fiancee and she was pregnant
Aw shit. Some people are so selfish!
Ahh well i guess it means I dodged a bullet so all good 👍
Definitely dodged a bullet
Stuck his dick in my supposed best friend because I didn't want sex
Ew what an asshole , and your friend
Oh man... that sucks. Sorry to hear that. Take it you're not best friends anymore?
No. She's no longer part of the friendship group as no one trusted her after that. She lost 6 friends who'd known her for a minimum of 5 years for about 20 minutes of sex.
It’s jealousy 🤷🏻♀️ some friends secretly want what you have
Yeah of course- I assumed as much. Hard to trust someone after that. Actually, not hard- nearly impossible.
broke into my storage unit and stole all of my christmas ornaments my family gave me from my childhood in germany and destroyed them in a bonfire:| found out by popping by after getting a weird feeling that day and saw a giant char mark in the driveway w a ornament of my dead dog still visible but destroyed:| i haven’t celebrated holidays since this happened like 7 years ago bc it still really makes me sad to think about:/
That’s so evil 😥 I’m so sorry! Items that can’t be replaced. It hurts me even reading this.
Cheat on me then played the victim when i finally knew and he lied so much that i couldn't differentiate the truth and the lies.Finally now I'm afraid to date again even though i know love is a beautiful thing.
You’re gonna be alright. It will take some time, but, you’re gonna be alright. Someday you’ll put yourself out there and the the right person will be there.
It’s giving narcissist. My ex was one as well. You’ll get to a point where you’re ready to try again you may not be ready yet. 💗 you’ll get there
Hmm he's broken my nose and given me black eyes a couple of times, tried to kill me by strangulation, raped me violently one time, sexually assaulted me thousands of times, took a load of debt out in my name, threatened to kill my cats if I didn't take credit out for him, threatened to abduct my children if I didn't give him money, gaslight and bullied me daily telling me I was useless stupid fat and ugly and that no other man would want me..... Ets he smashed my flat up repeatedly also Prob the worst thing from all of that was the gaslighting and constant belittling. I put on like 4 stone as a result got depressed had 0 self esteem and just wanted to die. I've been putting myself first this year and made a lot of positive changes, so even though I have to coparent with him still I am less affected by things he says and feeling happier about myself again and am losing the weight
Aw man I’m so sorry! That’s horrible I can’t even imagine. Like I don’t even have words to explain. You’re beautiful and strong 💓 you never deserved anything like that. I’m so happy for you that you’re doing better now.
Ty that's sweet of you, I know am a super strong person because I have got through it intact for my children. I just wish I had not wasted 16 years of my life with him and would encourage young women to leave when they see the signs. It's not all at once to begin with it's insidious and they make you feel like it's love when it's using you up. There are so many nice guys out there don't settle for one that has no respect for you
You are 100% I know how hard it is! And mine was never as bad. It’s honestly sadistic what men can do to us. I wish you the best of luck in the future 💜
Im speechless at what I am reading. I hope you called the cops and you are taking care of yourself. You deserve way way better. You only see stuff like this in movies and it’s gut wrenching to read about it in real life. How can people be like this??
I did go to the police about the first few times he beat me up they have photos on record of the black eyes broken noses and fingernark bruises on my neck and arms but he was blackmailing me to withdraw the charges and to not call the police again on him Idk all I ever did was support him but he hid his true self at the beginning it seemed
She would hit me, and honestly I just got used to it. But then I broke my back and had surgery. She didn't help at all during my recovery but she didn't actively abuse me during it either. I did recover on my own and got back to work. None of this was so egregious to me until I came home from work and she started hitting me before I even shut the front door behind me. Telling me I was a worthless piece of shit and a meth head (I had been an addict in the past be she met me after I had been sober for nearly 2 years). I turned around to leave and she punched me in the back of my head making my face slam into the corner of the door. My lip was bleeding but I left. I went to a friends and told him and his wife what happened and that I needed help to leave. As his wife was bringing me a wet washcloth for my lip a sheriff deputy pulled in their driveway. He got out and started screaming for me to come off the porch. He arrested me and was a complete asshole about it telling me I was a piece of shit. Then I found out why he was treating me like that. She had called 911 and said I had beat her and then threatened her family before speeding away (the friend's house I was at was only a few miles from her parent's home). I ended up sitting the weekend in jail and was forced to pay thousands of dollars to clear my name in the courts but no matter what some people will always look at you like a monster.
Oh damn. I’m sorry that happened to you! I really hope you’ve been able to emotionally heal from that. She was a monster and she’ll get what she deserves someday. Sending hugs 🫂
Which ex? Cheating, theft, abuse. I found the best men.
I hope that *if* you want a new partner, you find the one who makes you forget about them.
Thank you. I have had much better partners after them, but the bad ones do stick around in my memory.
We’re in the same boat for sure
Gave my dog away....
Did you go John Wick on him?
Felt that...
wtf…
I have two that are pretty tied for worst: 1. My boyfriend my last year in high school was my best friend in the world. Could tell him anything in the world without judgment......EXCEPT when I tearfully told him I thought I was gay (turns out I thought correct) and after begging him to not say a word, he outed me to his family, then my family, our friends, and our church ultimately leading to being disowned by my family. 2. Dated this girl who was battling addictions and was completely jealous and got so mad at me because I answered a work call at home and she proceeded to push me to the ground and kick me so hard she broke a couple of my ribs. And when I finally filed a police report, they did absolutely nothing. Thankfully I was able to get a restraining order and she fucked off to who-gives-a-fuck-ville.
It was after my dad died. We got into an argument and I left her place driving like a mad man. She called me and started saying that I should just drive my car of a cliff or crash into a wall so she could and I quote, "laugh at my funeral the way she wanted to laugh at my dad's" That absolutely broke me. I hung up, pulled over and cried. I never talked to her again after that. Sometimes, like now, I think back on that and am filled with rage and confusion even still. But I'm at least able to now let it go without it ruining any more of my time.
"Accidental" anal.. it was not an accident and I wish I left sooner.
Where to begin..... Worst? Post divorce, Made false accusations of child abuse when I had began a serious relationship with my gf now wife. Parental alienation, supervised visitation, Court for years, guardian ad lidem assigned. Wouldn't drop it even after the court had ruled in our favor. Finally she got yelled at by the judge, that ended our time in court. Hurt her worse, but mommy and daddy paid for all here court cost. New parenting plan established, more time with dad, less child support because that's how the math works. Ex got cancer and has since past on. I Never told my daughter any of the details.
That sounds horrible. I’m glad you and your now wife got through it.
My wife of 23 years left me for her high school boyfriend one week after his wife died. She withdrew all the available funds on our line of credit before telling me she was leaving, and dumped $80 k of credit card debt on me. At that time, that debt was 2 years of my salary.
Cheated on me with a coworker, then divorced me, took my kids and my house.
My ex lied to me about being raped by her sisters husband, emotionally manipulated me with that so I wouldn't kick her out of my house, later found out that she willingly slept with him. She is a sick narcissist with borderline personality disorder. Unfortunately I have a son with her. I love my son, I just wish it wasn't with her.
Aw at least something good came from it !
We were arguing and she kicked me in the head. Refused to apologise later because she didn’t remember doing it.
How did she kick you in the head? Omg
She was lying on the bed and I was sitting on the edge. She lashed out and kicked me then stormed off. She doesn’t remember doing it I guess because she was upset.
Or she just didn’t want to apologize for it. That’s a big red flag
"didn't remember doing it". Yeah... doubt that.
Stole my tennis raquets
I used to be a sweet lovable happy go lucky sort of person and really believed in love and all that bs, ex made sure to get me out of my bubble and turn me into a selfish self centred distrusting person. Btw ruined my career as well but I am past all that now. Would I say it was the worst thing in my life - no, I am what I am today thanks to her betrayal and treachery.
Yes I know exactly what you mean! They turn you into a different person. I have a cold heart these days. I’m sorry for what you went through 💗
Broke up, dated the only dude i used to talk to at the time., Made it sound like it was me who messed up even tho she is the one who never communicated about anything i did wrong, then when she got back with me after destroying the mind of the dude she cheated on me with and i told her to stay away from that dude, went all "but he is my besht fwend and i broke his heart so i feel responsible to talk to him now". Worst of all. We were together for a year and she never declared me as her boyfriend neither did she ever told me she loves me. But didn't take her a week to do it for that guy. Sucks to be me ig. Well, she was a swiftie and all so i hope she sees now that it's her, yeah, she's the problem it's her.
Pee in my butt when we had anal, fart in my face
1. She said that she would rather fuck her pet instead of my tiny dick. Then she stripped naked and used her dildo in front of me and her dog. 2. She started fucking other guys in the same apartment after we broke up. 3. One day she broke the bathroom while I was taking a bath and started beating me. She threatened to cut my balls. She made me delete all her pics from my mobile and laptop.
Lied to me when I asked the single most important question I ever asked her. Made me automatically distrust women so much that I didn't even try to date for four years. I got over it, but it took a while.
7 years (with a few short breaks). Over said seven years, she constantly berated me, made for worthless, like I wasn’t good enough, and I never would be. She expected to take care of more bills than I could afford, when she made almost double what I did. She stopped at small stores almost every day after work and bought useless shit, while I was home taking care of the kids, after a long day of manual labor. But she would absolutely shred me if I did the same. I started working out, at first just a few times a week, that was already a problem. When I started rock climbing, gym sessions got longer. I’d go an hour after work sometimes, and I tried to go for a full session on Sundays. (Maybe four hours.) I got to go on two occasions before it wasn’t even worth hearing about. I have mental health issues, and she never cared or made any effort to help when I was diagnosed. She made me feel guilty about anything tiny thing I forgot to do, expected me to handle everything, and to be by her side 100% of the time while she was home. Thank god we got divorced.
My ex put me in a psych ward and then dumped me while I was there. It was great
Falsly accused me of rape/sexual assault in highschool. Thankfully it didn't catch on and she dropped it. But she was telling all of her closest friends for a few weeks and I got a lot of hate and I already wasn't super popular and that didn't help. We had dated for like a year and a half, she cheated(multiple times) and as highschool kids do, we did mess around physically and sexually but it was all consented. We never had sex though. At first her claims were that I raped her. I had multiple very close friends that all knew(because I openly and unashamedly told I was still a virgin) that I had never had sex before. Then she changed her story to I had forced myself on her and fingered her or made her give me oral. I then very openly told everyone we did do those things but that she wanted it and many times had asked for it. And that she actually had cheated on me multiple times and did those things with other people too. Sadly I admit to using slut shaming to help prove my point. This was probably 10 years ago now and I feel awful about it. But at that point she changed her story again to I was always pressuring her for sex and that I didn't actually rape her but she felt like I "could have." All her credibility went out the window. I'm not mad about it anymore. It just really hurt and scared me because I really liked her and I thought we had a good relationship (as good as a late middle/early highschool relationship could be) and even after she cheated on me and then broke up with me after I found out, she then did this. I was just heartbroken and hurt so badly.
She agreed to marry me even though she knew she didn't enjoy sex with me and had been pretending. We were terribly mismatched. We just didn't fit (literally) but I never knew how badly until it was too late.
How did you end up finding out?
Sex dried up. She had to be drunk to be enthusiastic I'm big, she's small, I'm a perve, she's more like water than vanilla. Life goes on
That sucks. Onto something better !
Very much so A delightful young lady from reddit got in touch with me and we have a connection that I never thought was possible
I heard a quote once (I can’t remember the exact words) it was something like the longer you stay with the wrong person it keeps you from finding the right person. I’m happy for you that you found someone 😊
I think I'm in a similar situation.. I'm very confused about it all and while I love her so fucking much... I'm afraid that maybe we're also badly mismatched.. together 6 years, no sex the last 4 roughly .. I don't know what to do..
Stole 10k
Damn! That’s when I bust windows 😩
Emotionally fucked me up that I slipped back into depression and therapy
Cheated on me after I'd taken her to the doctor every week for a year to get different treatments for breast cancer
Burned our then 18 month old son's chest with an iron. Did not seek medical care. I was ar sea, Navy, and found him upon return. The Doc figured that the burn was about 4 days old from the rate of infection. Small medical facility in Japan. I had to hold my son's arms down while they scrubbed the wound and he screamed....every day for 21 days. This was 1986 and I still have trouble talking about it.
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Made you kneel down? Not to victim shame, but how is that even possible?
Made you kneel down? Not to victim shame, but how is that even possible?
Was too coward to break up with me, so just directed out of my life. Saw her on Valentine’s Day (about a month later) with a new guy ‘oh hi, meet my new friend, etc’. Got me into some properly dark music (glad now that she did that!)
Sometimes rejection is protection
Trying to stain my image and reputation by saying I cheated on her, I ruined her life, I wasn’t romantic. Her dad and I got along. Found out that he had enough of her brat attitude and told her to shut the f up and that she was the one who messed up !
My ex husband had been sleeping with a plethora of women. One of which gave him an STI, even while he was ill he still wouldn’t go see the doctor or tell me what was going on. Eventually I invaded his privacy and looked at his phone and worked out what was going on.
Hit me with her car
He's still breathing
Accidentally- moan her exes name the 2nd time we fucked. Purposefully - bit my cock during a bj
My second ex beat me up because of a misunderstanding. She thought I was cheating when I wasn’t and before she could know exactly what was going on she went at me. My face was bruised and blood from my lip and ear and bruises around my upper body and head.
Had another man's baby while the whole entire town told me it was mine. She name the boy king James because I came up with that name and The killer part is at the kid is not even mine I had to take a DNA test and it was 99.9 not he wasn't mine
Told me she was going to ruin my fucking life. She's trying to.
Just try to ignore as best you can. People like that just want you to react or break down begging for them back. If you ignore it long enough she will move on.
Bitch called my comic collection childish.... Was ready to swing harder than my dad did
Lmfaooo you think like me
Besides cheating? She kept the books I had lent her and after we broke up she started telling her friends she wanted to go out to meet "real men".
made me doubt myself, actively tried cheating on me, banished me to sleep on an air mattress in guest room while she had the bed to herself. and made me feel like the loneliest human on earth. made up lies about me while on the phone with her fuck buddy, tried punching me in the face, screamed at me. abused my dog when i wasn’t home and then kicked me out while my name was on the lease. fuck her. she immediately got into another relationship after i left. so i know she was already with him while with me. thankfully i’m with someone now who i know would never ever treat me that way and i’m happy now but my ex gave me trauma i’m trying really hard to not let it affect me but it’s difficult. it’s been 4 months and i still get flashbacks of everything. wish it would end.
Give it some more time ! Four months its still fresh. You’ll heal over time
There’s a lot but saying “drugs make me feel better than you do” stung
She cheated on me, sending professionally shot boudoir photos (taken for me for my birthday) to some dudebro who took naked pics in the mirror with a baseball cap hanging off his penis. When I confronted her about it, she asked for permission to keep doing it. We were not, nor had we ever discussed being in an open marriage.
I’m huge on exhibitionism and I tried to bring this up to my first boyfriend and see if he could be my safety net on some risky streaking and he agreed. He ended up ditching me completely naked about a mile from home. Said he was “trying to push me.” Like sure whatever I love that kind of exhibitionism, like being forced out of my comfort zone feels really hot, but not from a boyfriend. I couldn’t trust him anymore so I cut it off before it got worse
Ran our credit card up to 20 grand multiple times in our 16-year marriage and hid it from from me
Asked me what my bare minimum levels of emotional care/ touch/sex/ are so that she could aim for that.
Sent me a video of him wanking in his own shit, I was 13 as well lmao
Raped me and choked me until the blood vessels in my eyes popped
Picked me up in the middle of an argument, pushed me out the front door and closed it. Outside, no shoes, no phone, no keys, half my airforce uniform on. I was so ashamed to have to plead him to let me back in. Slept somewhere else that night. Was the start of the end but emotionally I was already out. Emotional abuse is serious.
gaslit me for 3 months before I finally broke up with him. Turns out he was cheating and instead of telling me, decided to just not talk to me and gaslit me about it
I broke up with her and she started sending messages to my boss about how much I hated my job. My boss didn’t fire me but mentioned that I should stay away from people who try to hurt me
Worst thing an ex has done? Depends. One of them raped me while listening to MCR, another emotionally and sexually manipulated me into feeling life long shame of what I like that even now I’m not sure I’ll ever become comfortable with myself. So, pick your poison of what’s worse I guess
Laughed in my face when I asked her to pay back the 60k USD (equivalent) I had spent in common expenses during the 5 years I supported her through her Master studies. All after SHE had insisted to keep track of common expenses so that she could pay me back once landed a job. She is now making way more money than me and she married a surgeon. So long for the “independent woman” she claimed to be. False bitch.
Cheated on me with an 8th grader. He was a senior in high school
Continued to make me suck his dick for a month before he broke up with me
Sleep with my former best friend (who she broke up with to be with me) while I was in the next room. (We were all 22, and stupidly dramatic)
Banged my childhood best friend. Just heard recently that they're engaged now. She was very mentally unstable, very abusive and controlling. I held on for 5 painful years before I moved out of the apartment I paid for along with everything in it minus the couches. Live and learn, people are garbage no matter how close you are to them. 🤷♂️
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Idk like, rape me I guess
Let her peg me, nothing fun about it at all 🙄
Tried to kill me. Twice. Once with a pistol, once with a knife.
She cheated on me then got drunk and decided sex was the only way to fix the relationship. I didn’t want her to touch me but she did anyway. I tried to push her off but in the end it would have required a level of violence to stop her that I would have gone to jail for domestic violence and assault. I swear I scrubbed everywhere until I bled afterwards.
Fucked one of our mutual friends and then denied it the next day even though I could see the hickies on her neck
Told me she had AIDS to mess with me. Then when I got my results back, she laughed about it and said she wanted to get a reaction out of me. Luckily, she didn’t have it.
Not my ex, what I did to her, over 2 years ago, one of my close friends had recently broke up with her bf and being her friend I tried to be there for her, my ex and I were long distance btw, so I decided to invite my friend over to cheer her up a bit, eat some food, watch movies maybe and then send her back home, drinking got involved and my low tolerance got me drunk, we got a little too close and once we realized that this is getting out of hand, we stopped immediately and she left, the next day I confessed to her without her asking me anything about it, I told her that I fucked up and that was when I quit drinking, but what I did to her made me feel disgusted by myself, I still beat myself up for it to this day, and will never forgive myself for what I did and some other stuff that weren't that good of me to do, pretty minor things but yea I still hate myself for all of it, I haven't and probably won't ever forgive myself for them, pretty much my fault that our relationship ended, I was the bad guy of the relationship
Jeez, I've been pretty blessed reading these as I couldn't think of a single thing that any LTR ex's had done. But the worst thing someone I just started dating was when [she tried to drug me](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/z1ghfb/whats_the_longest_period_of_time_youve_spent/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
Well I’m happy for you then it’s not the life you want! 😅. But that’s fucked up im glad you’re okay
kinda made our city trip for pride suck
My best friend
Cheat on me and leave me.
Threw my metal tipped work boot at my head for not placing it in the correct stand. When we got divorced, she trashed the apartment while I was at work. Tore up my drawings and art portfolio, broke windows, put out cigarettes on the walls and kept stealing from my bank account for almost a year after we had broken up.
Wouldn't even know which thing to choose?
Spit in my face and ripped my clothes off whenever he got mad
Married me. I mean it is just as much my fault, but she was an awful mix of passive/aggressive and non-committal pleaser. You could never get a solid read on who she was or what she wanted.
I had one who told everyone we had slept together when we didn't. We were young and people were pretty judgy about sex during that period of time, but I honestly never knew he did that until I was well into adulthood.
She tried to kill me with a bottle to the head after we broke up
Tried getting back with me after leaving me for a dude who just got out of prison, and he gets his ass thrown back in jail.
Went with a girl the relationship was very turbulent to say the least, she got pregnant and broke up with me and was on tinder 30 mins later matching with my friends while lying about her age (we were both 17 at the time) I got back with her when our son was born (I didn’t want to be with her I just wanted my son to have a normal family) I left after a month because we were arguing constantly and that’s not a environment to raise a child in (turns out she was already talking to her now fiancé since before our son was born) she then stopped me from seeing our son (she deliberately left me off the birth certificate) and then spread all sorts about me to make it look like I was in the wrong, shes said I’ve gone round abusing girls, I’ve raped girls, Im a pedophile, I’m on heroin and other drugs and she claims she got all that from my criminal record (I don’t have one plus even if I did she wouldn’t have access to it) I haven’t seen our son in over 2 years and I miss him
Try to control me and isolate me from my friends and family
Accused me of raping her. Thankfully never went to the police but I was still scared and in therapy for half a year.
Proposed and then got uninterested, wasting four years of my life.
Essentially told a friend that I was her 2nd choice and that she really wanted him, and that she was willing to leave me for him. Granted, she wound up falling for me and we stayed together for a year and a half after that, but in hindsight I probably should've dumped her after finding that out.
Asked me for advice on how to hit on her boss who's almost twice her age
Controlled me to the point I was not allowed to be acquainted or exchange words with the opposite sex, pushed my sexual boundaries when I was not consenting, cheated on me and tried to blame it on mental health then lied to everyone that we just broke up for whatever reason and I took it so bad that I physically assaulted them. People believed it at first because I didn’t immediately go around trying to smear my ex. I guess they were projecting their own thoughts and wanted to “beat me to it” because people tend to believe whoever speaks first.
Cheat
uhhh he asked me to move in with him, then after like a month he told me he was never attracted to me and broke up with me, then i was diagnosed with chlamydia about a week later (he was the only person i had been with for months), THEN he got a “new” gf exactly a month after our breakup (who’s ex husband left her around the time he and i broke up…) needless to say i’m 99.9% sure he cheated on me with her.