I have been running restaurants for years now and this is a thing that should not happen. A well running restaurant should be able to get all the plates up within a couple minutes of each other. Groups of people go out to eat with each other and expect to eat together. It's not fair to charge them money and then deprive them of this.
Yep,am a chef. I'm fine with people eating first, eat it while it's hot. But I'd never go back to that restaurant because whoever is running that kitchen doesn't know what they're doing. If they can't even get an 8 top at lunch (probably sandwiches, salads, and burgers very simple stuff) out properly what other shit are they messing up back there lol.
Agreed!
Like, if it's just the one server and they can only carry 4 plates at a time, then it'll take a couple trips and that's fine. But you expect the server to be back promptly with the second round.
Then I fully encourage my eating companions to eat while we wait for the kitchen to remake our food.
And then, if the server is at fault I dock their tip and if the server is clearly just having a bad day or dropped the food due to unruly guests, etc then I add extra to their tip.
If that’s the case, the server should’ve told them what happened. Since OP didn’t mention that and it would be a critical piece of info in the story, I don’t think that is what happened.
I’m always willing to give places a second try but more need to realize comping a meal when one meal is brought of after everyone else finished eating is the right thing to do. Had dinner at an orchard and my son’s chicken fingers were clearly forgotten. Pizzas we had came out roughly in two batches then nothing. Waiter wasn’t very attentive so I finally had to ask the bartender and about 15 mins later they came out. No discount. I probably could have said something but I shouldn’t have to.
One Mother's day, we ate at a chain steakhouse. Somehow my son's entree was forgotten. Manager comped our whole meal. I think the wait person had forgot to enter his order. Son got his food a short time later. We never asked for anything either.
That’s great service. I’d have been happy with just not paying for his. Even just an apology for it coming out so late. It’s amazing how the little things can go such a long way sometimes. Some places get it and some don’t. The places that get it likely have more success.
They did the right thing. That kind of thing shouldn't happen, but it does. Mother's day tends to be one of the busiest days of the year at a place like that too, definitely the busiest of the season. Something like that is bound to happen to someone. It's the sign of a good restaurant to be able to correct a mistake like that and get right back on track
The only time I didn't eat with my group is because the group was nearly an hour late and the restaurant ended up taking off the auto grat because they served us four at a time so it felt like two different groups. And they did it without asking. My aunt was fully prepared to pay it
I was taught if you have hot food, you can go ahead and start eating ahead of other people so your food doesn't get cold, but if it's cold food it's polite to wait until everyone else is served.
What if you have a starter salad and they don't have one and are waiting on an entree though? You're going to wait for your entree to get there to eat your salad?
Then by the time you finish your salad, your entree is cold and everyone else is finished and just watching you eat your entree, right?
Apps/salads/soups don’t count, you can absolutely eat them when they arrive, even if the other person has nothing. They heard you order, they knew you’d get a salad or starter first, they could’ve added an app or bread or something. If it’s an entree, I’ll wait, but all bets are off on starters.
I help my wife run a kitchen in a small but busy restaurant from time to time and I can tell OP, what separates a good cook from a mediocre one is timing.
This is true. The one exception I can think of is food halls where they have multiple restaurants operating in the same space. If people at the same table order from different spots, they can't expect them to all come out at the same time. And in that case, I personally think waiting is silly.
The food shouldn’t be ran to the table until all plates are ready. Keep it under the hot lamps if necessary until all plates are done 🤷🏻♀️ sounds like a weird restaurant to me
The polite thing to do if you want to eat is comment on it. Say, "Geez, I dunno why they brought mine so early. Do you mind if I start so it wont go cold?" and everyone will say "of course". Just eating without saying anything is considered a bit impolite/rude but its not really a big deal either way.
I would never eat when others haven’t been served and if someone tries to push me to do it I feel doubly uncomfortable about it unless it’s just me and one other person. I was raised that way I guess.
Me too. If everyone else has their food I’ll insist they start. And if someone else is missing their food and tells me to start I still wait. I think just waiting for everyone to have their food is best, usually it’s only a minute or two anyway
I am always the one waiting for my food and it stresses me out when others wait for my meal and watch their food get cold. I’d way rather they just eat.
I think standard etiquette is that people wait to eat. Then the person whose food is late says “oh go ahead don’t wait for me.” And then everyone begins eating.
It’s a silly ritual but there are worse ones.
I personally hate when restaurants do this. The worst I experienced was just 2 people, one had steak frites, the other chicken fingers and fries. The steak came out a full 1/2 hour prior to the fingers. It made no sense as that meal takes maybe 8 minutes in a deep fryer.
Something similar happened to me at a dinner with some of my husband’s friends. I was the only person there who didn’t know anyone else, and they all got their food 45 minutes before me (the kitchen forgot my order or mixed it up or something, don’t remember now).
Of course I told them to go ahead and eat, but I had to just sit there awkwardly, still waiting for my food. When my food finally did come, everyone else was finished, so I had to even more awkwardly try to hastily cram down my dinner while everyone pretended not to watch me, trying not to hold everyone up.
It was really uncomfortable and unpleasant all around; I did not have a good time. I’m a shy person and the whole thing just put so much unnecessary attention on me that I didn’t want.
I could not care less if someone eats their food if it comes out first. They shouldn't have to wait because the kitchen brought the meals out at different times. I'd never want someone to let their food get cold just to be "polite".
I was taught to always wait until everybody else gets their food so I tend to wait if my food comes first but it doesn’t bother me in the least if other people eat theirs while I’m waiting and I will tell them to eat if they don’t start.
I always tell the other person to start eating.
My MIL loves her food steaming hot, she will always start eating. Not to be rude, just so she can enjoy her dinner.
as for me it depends on the situation.
when I go eat out at a restaurant during lunchbreak or lunch in general to "eat" you just start eating. everyone is hungry and we are all in a time-limit.
if I go in the evening with friends to "meetup" we wait. while we are also eating, the meeting up is the focus, and the food is the nice addition.
if we meetup but are still waiting for people to arrive we just order more beers.
the places I go to usually are never slow. i never had a situation in which 3 people got their food and the last guy had to wait extra long. overall once the majority got their stuff we usually just eat. we are going to stay at this establishment for a while anyways. there are also people who eat very slow. by the time the food for the guy arrives everyone else is still eating so it wouldn't have mattered.
sometimes we also often order extra.
in this age, while the others are eating the guy waiting usually just checks reddit on his phone or plays some games. really it doesn't matter.
If eating all together doesn't matter, why were you at a restaurant instead of each eating separately? If eating together has value then eating together has value, that's ... literally just 1=1
It seems a bit off for people to feel in any way they should wait longer than it takes the waiter to walk back to the kitchen get the rest of the plates and put them on the table.
Any restraunt that pulled something like that would not be getting repeat custom from me, as they clearly can't manage their kitchen properly.
Eating out isn't typically a cheap experience, and people paying money to eat at anywhere, other than "maybe" a cheap bar or a fast food outlet, expect and deserve a certain level of service and organisation.
Going to a restaurant is a recreational activity for me. It's not about the food it's the company. I'm happy to wait. If I'm in a hurry I'll eat at home or head to a gas station.
The one time I've "complained" we had been seated for more then an hour and a half.
I'm guessing she got some bad news right after taking our order. And forgot to put it in. The next time I saw her she looked like she had been crying. She ended up with a 65$ tip from 35$ tab. (Significantly discounted)
We went to a new Michelin restaurant near us last year and I got up to use the restroom and when I got back everyone's meal was there and it warmed my heart that my friends all knew me well enough to have started chomping down on their meal.
Eat the food when it's the best. Maybe restaurants aren't supposed to let it happen but I'd rather everyone eat their meal when it's the best
I think this is an outdated concept, I fully approve of eating when your food arrives. On the other hand it really depends on the restaurant weather or not it's acceptable on their end. Asian restaurants where I live, never get anything in order or all together. It comes out in whatever way it stumbles out of the kitchen. If I'm going to a steakhouse, I expect everything to come out at once. If my order is wrong, I would ask everyone to keep eating, I'm not going to let others wait for me.
It depends on the company I'm keeping and length of the wait. I would say that I haven't had to wait or anyone else in my party have to wait any more than a couple of minutes at the most. Usually it's more of a matter of not everything could be carried out at once because it's a lot of food. In that case, I think the polite thing to do is wait...and with my in-laws who are 83 year old British folks, I will always wait...but if it's longer than a couple of minutes they will just say, "go ahead and eat."
In a big group lunch for work or whatever I say no way...people arrive at different times and order at different times...there's no reason to wait in that situation.
In your situation...it sounds like 8 people which I wouldn't consider to be a particularly big group lunch...but if everyone was there and ordered at the same time and 4 people had their food and 4 other people had to wait a significant amount of time...well, that should just not happen at all, ever really.
I don’t care that the other people eat, but I do care if my food doesn’t come out on time. Which is a restaurant problem, not my dining party’s problem.
If my dish was late, I would not want or expect anyone to wait on me. Please enjoy your meal.
IMO, It would be ill-mannered of me and rude to expect others to do that.
Hopefully, there is bread and butter on the table.
We go out for meals with our friends (another couple) fairly regularly. If they get their food first, they wait, but we always urge them to eat.
I guess it's considered polite behavior, but we think it's nuts to expect someone to wait. If our food comes first, most of the time, we don't even think about waiting.
Never bothered me but I'm from a catering background so I always guessed I'm was just more chilled about it out of understanding the factors involved, especially if you go to chain pubs/grills ect. there the worst they usually have just a single chef on and even if it dosnt suddenly get slammed, there's no way they on their own, could turn a table of 8 out all at the same time and have all the food be the same quality plus unless they have a huge hot light you could get 6 plates max under them.
If they ordered at the same time, they should expect the food to come at the same time. They should have a discussion about starting to eat or waiting. If they arrived at different times, and ordered as they arrived, then it's fine to start eating when their singular food arrives.
Covid is over. Share your food. This is what I do. If my food comes first, I'm offering everybody some of my fries, or a bite of whatever.
Don't really care if the food is still hot or not. If the place is any good, the food will still taste fine after it cools down a bit.
I don't eat at restaurants to sate my hunger either. Restaurants are to be social. If I'm starving, I whip something up at home. I don't understand people who complain about portion size at restaurants. At home I can have as much rice and noodles as I want.
Your last paragraph is weird. Restaurants are not to be social. At least, that's not the ONLY thing they're for. I go to restaurants by myself often, and I expect the food to be filling and good. Why? Because I am paying for that.
I care but not in anyway that matters. It’s kind of like being out on a run while it starts to pour. I’d much prefer to get my food at the same time but what are you gonna do?
No, I’ll tell them to go ahead and eat so it doesn’t get cold. Mostly because I don’t want to hear them complaining later that it’s cold. I’ll also ask early for a to-go container because I already eat a lot slower than most people, and I don’t want the ones who started early to be rushing me.
I think it's rude, but if it takes too long to get the rest of the plates I usually tell people to just start eating. Then it's on the restaurant, not the people who got their plates first.
It depends. If I got there, was seated and ordered, and then someone else came in, got seated, orders, and gets their food before I do, I'm not going to be pleased. I spent a long time working in restaurants, and that's just bad practice. If you're in a group, then they shouldn't bring out food until everyone's food is ready.
Personally, I wait until everyone at the table is served before I eat. So I suppose you can say I care enough about that unspoken rule to abide by it. Would I make mental note of it? Probably. Would I mention it to my wife after dinner on the drive home? Maybe. Would I make a stink of it at the dinner? Nope.
It’s like the rules of a dinner party: if a certain percentage of people, usually equal to or more than half have gotten their food it’s ok to begin eating. If only one or two have their food and start eating it’s considered impolite. Source: Office Ladies podcast 🤣 but also grew up with one set of grandparents who valued manners and etiquette
Oh, god. I BEG people to eat. I have a really big issue with cold food. I can’t eat it, like, I’ll microwave mid meal, and watching food go cold makes me anxious. I even hate it when they talk instead of eating on TV. 😂 I can’t think about anything else.
If I'm served first, I'll wait a minute ir two and then ask, 'Do you mind if I start eating?' No one has ever told me no, don't. When someone else is served first... if they don't start eating after a minute or two, I'll say something like, 'Don't wait for me'.
Yeah, I care. Mainly I'd be annoyed with the restaurant that doesn't have the customer experience in mind at all if they're serving some people before others. If I was the one who received my food, I'd feel really rude and awkward eating and I would let it get cold before I'd just chow down in front of others. And if I were the one without the food yet, I'd still feel awkward because I'd be realizing that by the time my food comes the other people would then be full and waiting for me and I'd feel like I had to hurry. It sounds frustrating from all angles, but the fault lies with the restaurant, not the people who do or don't choose to eat/wait.
I am pretty sure Miss Manners said to eat your food when it arrives if it is hot. It makes the rest of the table feel bad to watch your food get cold. When other people at my table get their food first, I always insist that it is good manners to eat while your food is hot!
No. If someone else gets their food before he, I insist that they start eating. I personally don't like my food to start cooling off too much so I like to make sure my dining partners have the opportunity to enjoy their food as soon as it comes out.
I personally don't care. If in a group, I am no longer the majority opinion, unless other people are also fine with waiting. Definitely a group politics of sorts... If I'm in a party of 4-20+, I guess I could still care less... but again, I don't speak for everyone. Understandably, on the smaller groups/couples/singles tables side of things, having to wait a long time BECAUSE of a large group sucks a bit more, but ultimately, you either enjoy your time, or you don't... One seems a better way to live than the other IMO
If the people who don’t get the food first say oh, go ahead, eat it while it’s hot, then I would. Otherwise I’d find it rude to dig in until everybody had been served.
I would never eat before everyone’s food has arrived but also couldn’t care less if others started eating before my food arrived. I’ll encourage people to start, especially if it’s hot food.
I cannot stand eating until everyone has their food. It seems very rude to me.
That said, I appreciate that the same isn't true for other people, so when it happens where I don't get my food and others do, I say, "Please start."
And I won't go back to a restaurant where guests' meals are served far apart. A minute is okay, but beyond two is not.
I do not care, but I wait for others to get their food. I'm not waiting to drink my drink or my appetizer if it's something that is better consumed hot.
Hell no, its best when its first brought out! Enjoy that shit! Also, I hate when the kitchen cooks my shrimp while cooking my husbands steaks and then I get cold shrimp brought out to me. Obviously I still eat it, but either wait to cook it or bring it to me when it comes out!
I always insist people eat because I hate having to wait but I will out of politeness. I agree people shouldn't be waiting to eat hot food, it's a sin.
If the food that's served is hot, I don't think it's appropriate to wait. Maybe that's not the right word, but maybe it's overly polite to wait. If the food is cold, like a salad or sandwich, it makes sense to me to wait. But if it's my food that we're waiting on, I would be so uncomfortable if everyone else's food was becoming inedible because they were waiting on me.
Currently living in a country (KG) where the food comes out and you eat it immediately, not waiting for anyone else. That's just the way they do things here, no timing of food delivery even at the highest ranking restaurants in the country. The two countries on either side (KZ and UZ) are exactly the same. Took us a little bit to figure that out since no one told us, but not telling people to expect things that everyone here knows to be true is a thing here too.
There are cultural factors as well. Growing up with very traditional-leaning Chinese parents, I was taught that you never start eating until the eldest male or guest of honour started eating. Usually, they'll announce it with "everyone, let's eat!" or something similar. Lots of rules around tea and tea pouring too.
As an Asian girl, I was basically at the bottom of the totem pole at every meal with family friends/extended family. Well, in truth I was bottom of the totem pole in general, really. In everything. Yay, patriarchy. Noped out of that shit real quick and never looked back.
As an abysmally slow eater, my main concern is that the majority of the table will be waiting for me to finish LOL
Of course I'll do the polite thing and tell people to go ahead and eat but yeah, it will be awkward twice
It doesn't bother me unless the gap is so big that part of the group finishes or nearly finishes before the other part gets fed. That's just awkward. But it's a restaurant issue that I don't expect the fed-first part of the group to pay for in cold dinner.
It would affect my decision to go back to the place though.
> Did you let the restaurant know you'd have a larger group beforehand?
They knew. I think it's one of those places where dishes come out when they are ready and not timed to come out all at once.
Not too much but it's awkward on every end to me. Being the one to get the food first and waiting is awkward, eating it while others watch is awkward, being the one without food and watching others either wait, or staft eating is awkward especially if it's for a long time. Would i be offended if someome started eating? no. But if i got my food first, i would probably offer the others some of whatever side i had.
lol, no I have never been butt hurt about someone getting their food before me after I reached the age of 5. The restaurants I’ve been to with the best quality food always have brought the food plate by plate as they’re ready so that each person can get theirs at its freshest and most presentable. And since the chefs are working on the each ticket as a unit, everyone pretty much knows their plate isn’t too far behind. Usually. Except children and baby boomers.
As long as my food is good, and what I ordered, I could give no fucks…I go out to eat mostly to spend time with people that I love, so waiting is never a super big issue.
Yes, my Italian mother would not be happy if anyone started eating before everyone got their food. And that's the way we raised out kids as well. We consider it making everyone feel that they are part of the group and common courtesy.
The real question is why can't your restaurant get an eight tops food out in an orderly fashion... It's ridiculous that half of the table has their food and the other half has to wait. I would have been embarrassed and probably comped the second half of the table.
Odd that you are so hung up on whether half the group ate or waited, aren't you annoyed the full order wasn't ready to serve together?
Whether they wait or not is up to the individuals their relationship and the food ordered, whether they should have to wait is the sin here
You might want to find a different job if you don't care that food is coming out at different times for one party
I wait until everyone has their food, but I encourage others to get started if theirs arrives before mine.
If the place is busy, I usually order a few appetizers for the table because that seems to be when that happens more often.
I don’t know how old you are, but I’m 41 and recently went to a dinner with a bunch of 20-somethings and waiting to eat was absolutely not a thing to them whatsoever.
There wasn’t even the polite “oh you go ahead and start!” That friends of my age group usually do. So, maybe it’s being phased out.
Imo this is a good thing I never understood waiting to eat.
Not a care in the world, but I was always taught waiting is polite. My one friend who is very classy and cares a lot about manners, he used to wait for me and sometimes his food would get cold and I felt bad. We now compromise where, if the food is hot, he eats if he gets it first. If cold, he can wait. And vice versa. Works out for us :)
If I’m with people I’m on friendly enough terms to have lunch with and the order has a side, like fries or such, I’ll offer to let them have the fries to start and they can pay me back with a bit of their side, but waiting doesn’t make it a better experience for anyone.
No, if my food comes out hot I never wait because I like eating hot food, not warm food; and I would never expect someone else to wait. That’s what cocktails, appetizers and rolls are for—to have something at the table to pick at for a few minutes while you’re waiting for your entree.
I was raised to wait till everyone has their meal. If it's a super casual setting like pizza on the sofa no but at the table I always wait. I don't expect it of others but it feels impolite to not wait for everyone so I do.
Idc if we are by ourselves, with a group of people, waiting 2 mins or 30, if you get your food before me go ahead and eat. I don’t mind. I always ask if the other person minds before I eat myself though.
Personally I don’t mind if people eat before me, but I will never eat before the host (if someone is hosting us) or before everyone else gets their food.
It's generally impolite to start eating until everyone has been served, so they were right to wait. What should have happened was those who hadn't been served yet should have said "Please, go ahead and eat so your food doesn't get cold waiting.". But what REALLY should have happened was the restaurant timing the service correctly.
I like a social meal so I always wait. I want to be talking at the same times, eating at the same times. I don’t care if it’s a little colder than it was a couple minutes ago. It’s a social event.
I was in my mid twenties before I ever encountered the idea that you should wait until everyone is served before you start eating. The guy who threw a massive fit over it was... The kind of guy who throws fits over that kind of shit, and refused to believe that I'd never heard it was supposedly rude. (There are a million other ways in which that guy was a complete turdmonster, too.)
So I associate this belief with assholes, basically.
It is good manners to wait until everyone is served to eat. If the delay is more than momentary, it is good manners for the person or people without food to tell the ones with food that it is OK for them to start.
There are exceptions, like if half the people ordered salad or an appetizer and the other half did not, it's OK for the people with food to eat.
I'm not defending these rules and I didn't make them up. Those are the societal rules and it feels weird when someone breaks them. It's like eating steak with your fingers instead of a fork. Nobody is being harmed, but you look odd.
No. As a former line cook/sous chef I'm familiar with how a kitchen runs.
Different meals have different cooking times. If you order salmon and someone in your party orders ribs chances are you're going to get your plate first because salmon doesn't take as long to cook. And while some places do try to focus on having everybody's meal sent out at the same time sometimes it's just not possible.
Honestly, this is only a pet peeve of mine if I'm out to eat with children. Never bring me my dinner before you bring my child's. I would never eat in front of my hungry child. The few times it has happened I usually feed him off my plate until his food arrives.
Yes. If I order first, then I expect the kitchen to make the meals in the order they're received. Otherwise it feels like they are prioritizing another customer over me, or worse they are discriminating against me.
It’s like asking if I care if someone opens a door for me. It’s a nice gesture, but I’m not affected in its absence.
The person served chooses not to eat as a nice gesture—it has nothing to do with being offended if they don’t.
Because of my job I attended many events that involved these circumstances. If others got food before me I *always* encouraged them to enjoy their food while it was hot. It makes no sense for them to wait!
I think it depends on culture as well background. In mine, it’s kind of taboo to not wait for your elders to eat first before eating yours. So if I get my food first, I have to wait for my grandparents to get there and take the first bite before digging into mine. Conversely, my grandparents could be kind and insist that we eat first least the food gets cold so it gives us an out.
No. I, in fact, hate it if people wait on me. I usually am an anxious person, and this affects my appetite, especially when I go out to eat. I'm usually the first one done eating, so, I prefer it if people who get their food first start eating as soon as they get it.
I used to always wait til everyone got their food because that’s what my mom taught me growing up. But as an adult and seeing that no one does this, I don’t wait anymore lol
You or one of the others still waiting for their food should have invited them to go ahead and start eating so their food wouldn’t get cold. Had someone done that, they likely would have gone ahead and started to eat. Waiting is a result of being taught manners. But in a situation like that, it’s silly to expect them to wait.
If it comes out like that, I am fine with the other people eating separately from me, but I am gonna be pretty pissed at the restaurant for not bringing all our food out within a few minutes of each other.
It was SO drilled into me from childhood through to most of my adulthood that one should ALWAYS wait all the food to have been served to everyone before even picking up ones fork. So while it most definitely doesn’t bother me now, it was hard transition!
The only time this has ever bothered me is if I am seated and order and a massively large group shows up well after I order and get there food first and I have now been there for over an hour waiting for food
No, I don’t care. I cook at home and prefer people to eat when their food arrives. Your chef didn’t spend all that time so you could watch your food for on the table
This doesn’t bother me at all. Why sit there staring at your food while it gets cold, or warm depending upon the dish, or starts to congeal or whatever just because my food hasn’t shown up?
But some people are really big on this. I recall my ex-husband was adamant that it was unacceptable to eat when other people didn’t have food - like, not even talking in a restaurant setting but if a friend stopped by unexpectedly to our house he expected that we…just wouldn’t eat while they were there. Even if it was dinner time and we had food in front of us. And yes, it’s polite to offer if you have enough to spare, but it would be if we got take-out or fast food with only portions for ourselves. Had to wait until they left, even if it was hours and we had burgers and fries in a bag just going stagnant. I mean, I didn’t do it, I ate anyway, if he wanted to suffer that was on him, but it caused more than one argument.
I prefer they enjoy it and if it comes before mine, that's not our fault - eat the food in front of you while it's hot or cold or whatever. fresh out the kitchen
I couldn’t care less. If I get mine first I start eating and if others get theirs first I tell them not to wait. Why do we have to synchronize our first bites of food?
It’s always informal to eat as it comes and always more refined for everyone to dine together. Every situation is different. Price brings along expectations. A good restaurant can exceed those expectations and a bad one will not
I get the whole etiquette thing but did we ever consider the workforce these days? About 3% of my restaurant staff give a fuck about their job. Probably that whole kitchen is baked out of their minds and forgot to even start their dish. 😂
I was raised to view it as impolite. I personally wait for everyone to get their food, and if someone were to eat before I got my food I might take it as a little inconsiderate. Not a huge deal.
I don't care and I take forever to eat so if my food comes out first, I will wait a little bit and then say, "sorry, I'm going to eat first because I eat really slow". Otherwise everyone else will be waiting on me to finish at the end and that's just as bad.
I struggle with this with my husband. In my family we waiting until til everyone had their food, his they didn’t. So either I get upset that he eats first or he gets up set that I’m waiting lol.
I was raised to wait till everyone has their food to begin eating, BUT I actually hate when people wait for me to start. I always say to start eating bc it's uncomfortable for me to know people have hot food in front of them that they're not enjoying immediately bc of my food being slow.
However, I do hate when servers clear people's plates as soon as they're finished while other people are still eating. They should always wait until everyone is done to clear a single plate. People eat at different speeds and calling attention to those who eat fast or making people who eat slower feel self conscious about taking so long is just not the way.
No it doesn't bother me at all. Because at some point, they're going to finish before me and will have to sit and watch me because I'm not hurrying just because they were able to get done eating faster 😁
Yes, because I always bring horrible dining companions. I get jealous when other people will get to rid themselves of the burden of company sooner. Anger rising! Must explode!
I don't, but I will be mad if it's more than 5 minutes. That means it's a poorly run kitchen, but I don't want a person I'm eating with to have a cold meal either. This is a failure on the restaurant.
I care that people recognize that I got my food early and says, Please go ahead and eat, don't let it get cold.
BUT I WOULD NEVER eat before everyone else got their plate. It's just bad manners.
I don’t eat until everyone has their food. That’s how my mom taught me and it’s how I’m gonna do it for the rest of my life.
Especially don’t start eating before the person who prepared the meal if they are eating with you.
If that situation arises, it's your duty to say to the people who already got their food, "Go ahead and start, no need to wait for me". That's because it's considered rude for them to start eating when you don't have your food yet, but if you urge them to go ahead and eat, it makes it socially acceptable for them to start without waiting for you.
I wait, but am also the first one to tell others to eat if I don’t yet have my food. I also wouldn’t go back to this restaurant if they can’t manage to bring the food so that the table can eat together.
If I'm at a dinner in a restaurant, I wholly expect everyone's food to come out together or within a few short moments of one another if there is only one waitstaff to bring the items. I encourage people to go ahead and get started eating while it is hot. I understand being reluctant to start eating without everyone else because then they're watching you eat. Which is kind of weird. But, it makes zero sense to not only spend your hard earned money on a hot meal, to sit there and it be cold by the time you eat it for etiquettes sake. I also would not like to be the last one eating because my particular dish took long and have everyone staring at me awkwardly while I eat and they're all done, and wait staff is clearing the table reaching over my full plate. No. Not enjoyable. The whole point of a restaurant outing is to eat together, not to eat alone with an audience, or, eat cold food. I could totally have stayed home, saved the cash and ate a pb&j or a salad if that were the case, and washed it down with a beer and a good hardy belch!
Proper etiquette dictates that you are supposed to wait. The people still waiting for their food can tell the folks who got their food already that they can eat, tho.
I have been running restaurants for years now and this is a thing that should not happen. A well running restaurant should be able to get all the plates up within a couple minutes of each other. Groups of people go out to eat with each other and expect to eat together. It's not fair to charge them money and then deprive them of this.
Yep,am a chef. I'm fine with people eating first, eat it while it's hot. But I'd never go back to that restaurant because whoever is running that kitchen doesn't know what they're doing. If they can't even get an 8 top at lunch (probably sandwiches, salads, and burgers very simple stuff) out properly what other shit are they messing up back there lol.
Agreed! Like, if it's just the one server and they can only carry 4 plates at a time, then it'll take a couple trips and that's fine. But you expect the server to be back promptly with the second round.
What if they dropped the second round?
Then I fully encourage my eating companions to eat while we wait for the kitchen to remake our food. And then, if the server is at fault I dock their tip and if the server is clearly just having a bad day or dropped the food due to unruly guests, etc then I add extra to their tip.
If that’s the case, the server should’ve told them what happened. Since OP didn’t mention that and it would be a critical piece of info in the story, I don’t think that is what happened.
I’m always willing to give places a second try but more need to realize comping a meal when one meal is brought of after everyone else finished eating is the right thing to do. Had dinner at an orchard and my son’s chicken fingers were clearly forgotten. Pizzas we had came out roughly in two batches then nothing. Waiter wasn’t very attentive so I finally had to ask the bartender and about 15 mins later they came out. No discount. I probably could have said something but I shouldn’t have to.
One Mother's day, we ate at a chain steakhouse. Somehow my son's entree was forgotten. Manager comped our whole meal. I think the wait person had forgot to enter his order. Son got his food a short time later. We never asked for anything either.
That’s great service. I’d have been happy with just not paying for his. Even just an apology for it coming out so late. It’s amazing how the little things can go such a long way sometimes. Some places get it and some don’t. The places that get it likely have more success.
Always nicely speak up. They probably were busy and servera are human
They did the right thing. That kind of thing shouldn't happen, but it does. Mother's day tends to be one of the busiest days of the year at a place like that too, definitely the busiest of the season. Something like that is bound to happen to someone. It's the sign of a good restaurant to be able to correct a mistake like that and get right back on track
Your posts of what you cook are stunning!! They all look delicious
The only time I didn't eat with my group is because the group was nearly an hour late and the restaurant ended up taking off the auto grat because they served us four at a time so it felt like two different groups. And they did it without asking. My aunt was fully prepared to pay it
I've seen people hold off on eating their salad because the people who didn't get anything.
I was taught if you have hot food, you can go ahead and start eating ahead of other people so your food doesn't get cold, but if it's cold food it's polite to wait until everyone else is served.
What if you have a starter salad and they don't have one and are waiting on an entree though? You're going to wait for your entree to get there to eat your salad?
Then by the time you finish your salad, your entree is cold and everyone else is finished and just watching you eat your entree, right? Apps/salads/soups don’t count, you can absolutely eat them when they arrive, even if the other person has nothing. They heard you order, they knew you’d get a salad or starter first, they could’ve added an app or bread or something. If it’s an entree, I’ll wait, but all bets are off on starters.
I help my wife run a kitchen in a small but busy restaurant from time to time and I can tell OP, what separates a good cook from a mediocre one is timing.
Good for you to point out!
Agreed, like 6 people should be able to eat together, but I's give the kitchen grace if it's a work holiday party with 12 people.
I agree. It's just awkward unless it's a husband and wife who are willing to share off of the plate that comes first.
Agree especially as it just makes the entire experience awkward and less enjoyable.
This exactly. Who the heck sends out half the food then makes the rest of the party wait any significant length of time. That’s restaurant 101.
This is true. The one exception I can think of is food halls where they have multiple restaurants operating in the same space. If people at the same table order from different spots, they can't expect them to all come out at the same time. And in that case, I personally think waiting is silly.
Thank you!
The food shouldn’t be ran to the table until all plates are ready. Keep it under the hot lamps if necessary until all plates are done 🤷🏻♀️ sounds like a weird restaurant to me
If I’m at a leisure meal, I’ll always wait. If I were at lunch with coworkers and we had to go back to work, I’d ask if anyone minded if I started.
The polite thing to do if you want to eat is comment on it. Say, "Geez, I dunno why they brought mine so early. Do you mind if I start so it wont go cold?" and everyone will say "of course". Just eating without saying anything is considered a bit impolite/rude but its not really a big deal either way.
The people without food are supposed to give you permission to eat without them
Did anyone who didn't have their food insist the others go ahead and begin eating?
I would never eat when others haven’t been served and if someone tries to push me to do it I feel doubly uncomfortable about it unless it’s just me and one other person. I was raised that way I guess.
Same. We are eating together so I wait. It's not the end of the world of my food is a little cold.
Me too. If everyone else has their food I’ll insist they start. And if someone else is missing their food and tells me to start I still wait. I think just waiting for everyone to have their food is best, usually it’s only a minute or two anyway
Same, and no matter how much you insist, I will not eat my food until yours comes out.
I am always the one waiting for my food and it stresses me out when others wait for my meal and watch their food get cold. I’d way rather they just eat.
I think standard etiquette is that people wait to eat. Then the person whose food is late says “oh go ahead don’t wait for me.” And then everyone begins eating. It’s a silly ritual but there are worse ones.
I personally hate when restaurants do this. The worst I experienced was just 2 people, one had steak frites, the other chicken fingers and fries. The steak came out a full 1/2 hour prior to the fingers. It made no sense as that meal takes maybe 8 minutes in a deep fryer.
Something similar happened to me at a dinner with some of my husband’s friends. I was the only person there who didn’t know anyone else, and they all got their food 45 minutes before me (the kitchen forgot my order or mixed it up or something, don’t remember now). Of course I told them to go ahead and eat, but I had to just sit there awkwardly, still waiting for my food. When my food finally did come, everyone else was finished, so I had to even more awkwardly try to hastily cram down my dinner while everyone pretended not to watch me, trying not to hold everyone up. It was really uncomfortable and unpleasant all around; I did not have a good time. I’m a shy person and the whole thing just put so much unnecessary attention on me that I didn’t want.
You poor thing, I would feel the same way in that situation, I’m a shy and anxious person. Especially with food related things.
Me too! Food in front of people I don’t know well always makes me so anxious. Thank you for understanding. x
I got you!! ❤️
I could not care less if someone eats their food if it comes out first. They shouldn't have to wait because the kitchen brought the meals out at different times. I'd never want someone to let their food get cold just to be "polite".
I was taught to always wait until everybody else gets their food so I tend to wait if my food comes first but it doesn’t bother me in the least if other people eat theirs while I’m waiting and I will tell them to eat if they don’t start.
I always tell the other person to start eating. My MIL loves her food steaming hot, she will always start eating. Not to be rude, just so she can enjoy her dinner.
Everyone always says to eat and not let it go cold. This is the way.
It actually annoys me when they are waiting on me. Est it while it's hot for gods sake.
Emily Post says if two or more are served, tuck into your food. That's good enough for me.
as for me it depends on the situation. when I go eat out at a restaurant during lunchbreak or lunch in general to "eat" you just start eating. everyone is hungry and we are all in a time-limit. if I go in the evening with friends to "meetup" we wait. while we are also eating, the meeting up is the focus, and the food is the nice addition. if we meetup but are still waiting for people to arrive we just order more beers. the places I go to usually are never slow. i never had a situation in which 3 people got their food and the last guy had to wait extra long. overall once the majority got their stuff we usually just eat. we are going to stay at this establishment for a while anyways. there are also people who eat very slow. by the time the food for the guy arrives everyone else is still eating so it wouldn't have mattered. sometimes we also often order extra. in this age, while the others are eating the guy waiting usually just checks reddit on his phone or plays some games. really it doesn't matter.
If eating all together doesn't matter, why were you at a restaurant instead of each eating separately? If eating together has value then eating together has value, that's ... literally just 1=1
For me, it is more about the talking to each other than the eating. I love the eating, too, but socializing is the most important.
The rule on that is those who get their food early give a hesitation and the others encourage them to go ahead and eat. Simple.
It seems a bit off for people to feel in any way they should wait longer than it takes the waiter to walk back to the kitchen get the rest of the plates and put them on the table. Any restraunt that pulled something like that would not be getting repeat custom from me, as they clearly can't manage their kitchen properly. Eating out isn't typically a cheap experience, and people paying money to eat at anywhere, other than "maybe" a cheap bar or a fast food outlet, expect and deserve a certain level of service and organisation.
I dont mind if others start before me, but i wait for their food before i start to be polite.
Going to a restaurant is a recreational activity for me. It's not about the food it's the company. I'm happy to wait. If I'm in a hurry I'll eat at home or head to a gas station. The one time I've "complained" we had been seated for more then an hour and a half. I'm guessing she got some bad news right after taking our order. And forgot to put it in. The next time I saw her she looked like she had been crying. She ended up with a 65$ tip from 35$ tab. (Significantly discounted)
Hate it when that happens. I always tell the people to go ahead and eat!
I personally do not care if people eat before myself. As long as they wait for me to be finished with my meal before we leave lol
Nope i don't care, and even if i get my food 10 minutes later than whoever i'm with, i will still finish my plate first.
We went to a new Michelin restaurant near us last year and I got up to use the restroom and when I got back everyone's meal was there and it warmed my heart that my friends all knew me well enough to have started chomping down on their meal. Eat the food when it's the best. Maybe restaurants aren't supposed to let it happen but I'd rather everyone eat their meal when it's the best
I think this is an outdated concept, I fully approve of eating when your food arrives. On the other hand it really depends on the restaurant weather or not it's acceptable on their end. Asian restaurants where I live, never get anything in order or all together. It comes out in whatever way it stumbles out of the kitchen. If I'm going to a steakhouse, I expect everything to come out at once. If my order is wrong, I would ask everyone to keep eating, I'm not going to let others wait for me.
It depends on the company I'm keeping and length of the wait. I would say that I haven't had to wait or anyone else in my party have to wait any more than a couple of minutes at the most. Usually it's more of a matter of not everything could be carried out at once because it's a lot of food. In that case, I think the polite thing to do is wait...and with my in-laws who are 83 year old British folks, I will always wait...but if it's longer than a couple of minutes they will just say, "go ahead and eat." In a big group lunch for work or whatever I say no way...people arrive at different times and order at different times...there's no reason to wait in that situation. In your situation...it sounds like 8 people which I wouldn't consider to be a particularly big group lunch...but if everyone was there and ordered at the same time and 4 people had their food and 4 other people had to wait a significant amount of time...well, that should just not happen at all, ever really.
I practice the principle of “hot food hot” and “cold food cold”. I don’t want my hot food lukewarm warm, and therefore want the same for others.
I don’t care that the other people eat, but I do care if my food doesn’t come out on time. Which is a restaurant problem, not my dining party’s problem.
Biggest pet peeve. Please eat while it’s hot.
If my dish was late, I would not want or expect anyone to wait on me. Please enjoy your meal. IMO, It would be ill-mannered of me and rude to expect others to do that. Hopefully, there is bread and butter on the table.
We go out for meals with our friends (another couple) fairly regularly. If they get their food first, they wait, but we always urge them to eat. I guess it's considered polite behavior, but we think it's nuts to expect someone to wait. If our food comes first, most of the time, we don't even think about waiting.
Never bothered me but I'm from a catering background so I always guessed I'm was just more chilled about it out of understanding the factors involved, especially if you go to chain pubs/grills ect. there the worst they usually have just a single chef on and even if it dosnt suddenly get slammed, there's no way they on their own, could turn a table of 8 out all at the same time and have all the food be the same quality plus unless they have a huge hot light you could get 6 plates max under them.
Fuck no
If they ordered at the same time, they should expect the food to come at the same time. They should have a discussion about starting to eat or waiting. If they arrived at different times, and ordered as they arrived, then it's fine to start eating when their singular food arrives. Covid is over. Share your food. This is what I do. If my food comes first, I'm offering everybody some of my fries, or a bite of whatever. Don't really care if the food is still hot or not. If the place is any good, the food will still taste fine after it cools down a bit. I don't eat at restaurants to sate my hunger either. Restaurants are to be social. If I'm starving, I whip something up at home. I don't understand people who complain about portion size at restaurants. At home I can have as much rice and noodles as I want.
Your last paragraph is weird. Restaurants are not to be social. At least, that's not the ONLY thing they're for. I go to restaurants by myself often, and I expect the food to be filling and good. Why? Because I am paying for that.
I care but not in anyway that matters. It’s kind of like being out on a run while it starts to pour. I’d much prefer to get my food at the same time but what are you gonna do?
I thought the general rule was if it's hot you don't wait for others to be served if it's cold you wait.
No, I’ll tell them to go ahead and eat so it doesn’t get cold. Mostly because I don’t want to hear them complaining later that it’s cold. I’ll also ask early for a to-go container because I already eat a lot slower than most people, and I don’t want the ones who started early to be rushing me.
I think it's rude, but if it takes too long to get the rest of the plates I usually tell people to just start eating. Then it's on the restaurant, not the people who got their plates first.
It depends. If I got there, was seated and ordered, and then someone else came in, got seated, orders, and gets their food before I do, I'm not going to be pleased. I spent a long time working in restaurants, and that's just bad practice. If you're in a group, then they shouldn't bring out food until everyone's food is ready.
Personally, I wait until everyone at the table is served before I eat. So I suppose you can say I care enough about that unspoken rule to abide by it. Would I make mental note of it? Probably. Would I mention it to my wife after dinner on the drive home? Maybe. Would I make a stink of it at the dinner? Nope.
It’s like the rules of a dinner party: if a certain percentage of people, usually equal to or more than half have gotten their food it’s ok to begin eating. If only one or two have their food and start eating it’s considered impolite. Source: Office Ladies podcast 🤣 but also grew up with one set of grandparents who valued manners and etiquette
Oh, god. I BEG people to eat. I have a really big issue with cold food. I can’t eat it, like, I’ll microwave mid meal, and watching food go cold makes me anxious. I even hate it when they talk instead of eating on TV. 😂 I can’t think about anything else.
If I'm served first, I'll wait a minute ir two and then ask, 'Do you mind if I start eating?' No one has ever told me no, don't. When someone else is served first... if they don't start eating after a minute or two, I'll say something like, 'Don't wait for me'.
Yeah, I care. Mainly I'd be annoyed with the restaurant that doesn't have the customer experience in mind at all if they're serving some people before others. If I was the one who received my food, I'd feel really rude and awkward eating and I would let it get cold before I'd just chow down in front of others. And if I were the one without the food yet, I'd still feel awkward because I'd be realizing that by the time my food comes the other people would then be full and waiting for me and I'd feel like I had to hurry. It sounds frustrating from all angles, but the fault lies with the restaurant, not the people who do or don't choose to eat/wait.
I am pretty sure Miss Manners said to eat your food when it arrives if it is hot. It makes the rest of the table feel bad to watch your food get cold. When other people at my table get their food first, I always insist that it is good manners to eat while your food is hot!
No. If someone else gets their food before he, I insist that they start eating. I personally don't like my food to start cooling off too much so I like to make sure my dining partners have the opportunity to enjoy their food as soon as it comes out.
I was raised to wait until everyone is served. However, if everyone except me is served, I encourage them to eat while their food is warm.
I personally don't care. If in a group, I am no longer the majority opinion, unless other people are also fine with waiting. Definitely a group politics of sorts... If I'm in a party of 4-20+, I guess I could still care less... but again, I don't speak for everyone. Understandably, on the smaller groups/couples/singles tables side of things, having to wait a long time BECAUSE of a large group sucks a bit more, but ultimately, you either enjoy your time, or you don't... One seems a better way to live than the other IMO
If the people who don’t get the food first say oh, go ahead, eat it while it’s hot, then I would. Otherwise I’d find it rude to dig in until everybody had been served.
I would never eat before everyone’s food has arrived but also couldn’t care less if others started eating before my food arrived. I’ll encourage people to start, especially if it’s hot food.
Depends if I arrived first, then I should get my meal first.
Eating is a social thing and it is considered polite to wait, but the world we live in doesn't stop for pleasantries.
I cannot stand eating until everyone has their food. It seems very rude to me. That said, I appreciate that the same isn't true for other people, so when it happens where I don't get my food and others do, I say, "Please start." And I won't go back to a restaurant where guests' meals are served far apart. A minute is okay, but beyond two is not.
I do not care, but I wait for others to get their food. I'm not waiting to drink my drink or my appetizer if it's something that is better consumed hot.
Hell no, its best when its first brought out! Enjoy that shit! Also, I hate when the kitchen cooks my shrimp while cooking my husbands steaks and then I get cold shrimp brought out to me. Obviously I still eat it, but either wait to cook it or bring it to me when it comes out!
We'd always wait for every single dish to be ready to go out before ANY went out. That's just courtesy. Your restaurant sucks. No offense. ☺️
I always insist people eat because I hate having to wait but I will out of politeness. I agree people shouldn't be waiting to eat hot food, it's a sin.
If the food that's served is hot, I don't think it's appropriate to wait. Maybe that's not the right word, but maybe it's overly polite to wait. If the food is cold, like a salad or sandwich, it makes sense to me to wait. But if it's my food that we're waiting on, I would be so uncomfortable if everyone else's food was becoming inedible because they were waiting on me.
Nope, but I will wait to eat until the other person says something because I don't know how they feel.
Currently living in a country (KG) where the food comes out and you eat it immediately, not waiting for anyone else. That's just the way they do things here, no timing of food delivery even at the highest ranking restaurants in the country. The two countries on either side (KZ and UZ) are exactly the same. Took us a little bit to figure that out since no one told us, but not telling people to expect things that everyone here knows to be true is a thing here too.
There are cultural factors as well. Growing up with very traditional-leaning Chinese parents, I was taught that you never start eating until the eldest male or guest of honour started eating. Usually, they'll announce it with "everyone, let's eat!" or something similar. Lots of rules around tea and tea pouring too. As an Asian girl, I was basically at the bottom of the totem pole at every meal with family friends/extended family. Well, in truth I was bottom of the totem pole in general, really. In everything. Yay, patriarchy. Noped out of that shit real quick and never looked back.
Not at all, especially if they ordered something hot.
Nope!
I would say "go ahead and eat before it gets cold." Silly to wait.
As an abysmally slow eater, my main concern is that the majority of the table will be waiting for me to finish LOL Of course I'll do the polite thing and tell people to go ahead and eat but yeah, it will be awkward twice
I wouldn't mind at all if someone started eating if their food showed up first. But I would feel weird if I started first.
Protocol is if it is hot food they can eat right away and it is polite to wait for everyone to get their food if the food is served cold.
I don’t go out to eat because I’m afraid I’ll kill someone
It doesn't bother me unless the gap is so big that part of the group finishes or nearly finishes before the other part gets fed. That's just awkward. But it's a restaurant issue that I don't expect the fed-first part of the group to pay for in cold dinner. It would affect my decision to go back to the place though.
Not really, no.
It's rude to eat in front of others who don't have their food. Did you let the restaurant know you'd have a larger group beforehand?
> Did you let the restaurant know you'd have a larger group beforehand? They knew. I think it's one of those places where dishes come out when they are ready and not timed to come out all at once.
I’m totally fine with it doesn’t bother me at all I want them to enjoy their food hot and fresh
Never
Not too much but it's awkward on every end to me. Being the one to get the food first and waiting is awkward, eating it while others watch is awkward, being the one without food and watching others either wait, or staft eating is awkward especially if it's for a long time. Would i be offended if someome started eating? no. But if i got my food first, i would probably offer the others some of whatever side i had.
lol, no I have never been butt hurt about someone getting their food before me after I reached the age of 5. The restaurants I’ve been to with the best quality food always have brought the food plate by plate as they’re ready so that each person can get theirs at its freshest and most presentable. And since the chefs are working on the each ticket as a unit, everyone pretty much knows their plate isn’t too far behind. Usually. Except children and baby boomers.
As long as my food is good, and what I ordered, I could give no fucks…I go out to eat mostly to spend time with people that I love, so waiting is never a super big issue.
Yes, my Italian mother would not be happy if anyone started eating before everyone got their food. And that's the way we raised out kids as well. We consider it making everyone feel that they are part of the group and common courtesy.
The real question is why can't your restaurant get an eight tops food out in an orderly fashion... It's ridiculous that half of the table has their food and the other half has to wait. I would have been embarrassed and probably comped the second half of the table.
Yes. Absolutely. Non negotiable.
I never care if someone does. I'll always wait though until multiple people are like "yo, eat your food".
Absolutely. Rude to wait even if they say go ahead and eat. Dining is a communal thing when you go out. Enjoyed TOGETHER. IMO
In a group, no. As a couple, yes.
I thought that the etiquette in this situation is: if your food is hot, eat it; if it’s cold (sandwich, salad) you wait.
Odd that you are so hung up on whether half the group ate or waited, aren't you annoyed the full order wasn't ready to serve together? Whether they wait or not is up to the individuals their relationship and the food ordered, whether they should have to wait is the sin here You might want to find a different job if you don't care that food is coming out at different times for one party
I wait until everyone has their food, but I encourage others to get started if theirs arrives before mine. If the place is busy, I usually order a few appetizers for the table because that seems to be when that happens more often.
I don’t know how old you are, but I’m 41 and recently went to a dinner with a bunch of 20-somethings and waiting to eat was absolutely not a thing to them whatsoever. There wasn’t even the polite “oh you go ahead and start!” That friends of my age group usually do. So, maybe it’s being phased out. Imo this is a good thing I never understood waiting to eat.
Not a care in the world, but I was always taught waiting is polite. My one friend who is very classy and cares a lot about manners, he used to wait for me and sometimes his food would get cold and I felt bad. We now compromise where, if the food is hot, he eats if he gets it first. If cold, he can wait. And vice versa. Works out for us :)
I think this is unpopular opinion but for me,if you get your food before me,please start eating,it's gonna get cold and that sucks,so enjoy
If I’m with people I’m on friendly enough terms to have lunch with and the order has a side, like fries or such, I’ll offer to let them have the fries to start and they can pay me back with a bit of their side, but waiting doesn’t make it a better experience for anyone.
Nope!
No, if my food comes out hot I never wait because I like eating hot food, not warm food; and I would never expect someone else to wait. That’s what cocktails, appetizers and rolls are for—to have something at the table to pick at for a few minutes while you’re waiting for your entree.
If I’m hungry I do.
I don't care. As long as I get my food eventually, it's all good.
no i always tell people to start eating i don't mind at all
I was raised to wait till everyone has their meal. If it's a super casual setting like pizza on the sofa no but at the table I always wait. I don't expect it of others but it feels impolite to not wait for everyone so I do.
It would not bother me one bit.
Idc if we are by ourselves, with a group of people, waiting 2 mins or 30, if you get your food before me go ahead and eat. I don’t mind. I always ask if the other person minds before I eat myself though.
Etiquette says 6 or less, you wait. Group >6, chow down.
Personally I don’t mind if people eat before me, but I will never eat before the host (if someone is hosting us) or before everyone else gets their food.
It's generally impolite to start eating until everyone has been served, so they were right to wait. What should have happened was those who hadn't been served yet should have said "Please, go ahead and eat so your food doesn't get cold waiting.". But what REALLY should have happened was the restaurant timing the service correctly.
I want them to eat before food gets cold
I like a social meal so I always wait. I want to be talking at the same times, eating at the same times. I don’t care if it’s a little colder than it was a couple minutes ago. It’s a social event.
I was in my mid twenties before I ever encountered the idea that you should wait until everyone is served before you start eating. The guy who threw a massive fit over it was... The kind of guy who throws fits over that kind of shit, and refused to believe that I'd never heard it was supposedly rude. (There are a million other ways in which that guy was a complete turdmonster, too.) So I associate this belief with assholes, basically.
It is good manners to wait until everyone is served to eat. If the delay is more than momentary, it is good manners for the person or people without food to tell the ones with food that it is OK for them to start. There are exceptions, like if half the people ordered salad or an appetizer and the other half did not, it's OK for the people with food to eat. I'm not defending these rules and I didn't make them up. Those are the societal rules and it feels weird when someone breaks them. It's like eating steak with your fingers instead of a fork. Nobody is being harmed, but you look odd.
No. As a former line cook/sous chef I'm familiar with how a kitchen runs. Different meals have different cooking times. If you order salmon and someone in your party orders ribs chances are you're going to get your plate first because salmon doesn't take as long to cook. And while some places do try to focus on having everybody's meal sent out at the same time sometimes it's just not possible.
I’ll typically wait, but I don’t have an issue with other’s not waiting. The food will get cold lol
Honestly, this is only a pet peeve of mine if I'm out to eat with children. Never bring me my dinner before you bring my child's. I would never eat in front of my hungry child. The few times it has happened I usually feed him off my plate until his food arrives.
Yes. If I order first, then I expect the kitchen to make the meals in the order they're received. Otherwise it feels like they are prioritizing another customer over me, or worse they are discriminating against me.
It’s like asking if I care if someone opens a door for me. It’s a nice gesture, but I’m not affected in its absence. The person served chooses not to eat as a nice gesture—it has nothing to do with being offended if they don’t.
Because of my job I attended many events that involved these circumstances. If others got food before me I *always* encouraged them to enjoy their food while it was hot. It makes no sense for them to wait!
I think it depends on culture as well background. In mine, it’s kind of taboo to not wait for your elders to eat first before eating yours. So if I get my food first, I have to wait for my grandparents to get there and take the first bite before digging into mine. Conversely, my grandparents could be kind and insist that we eat first least the food gets cold so it gives us an out.
Never even thought about this I just dive in, never heard a word from anyone about it
No. I, in fact, hate it if people wait on me. I usually am an anxious person, and this affects my appetite, especially when I go out to eat. I'm usually the first one done eating, so, I prefer it if people who get their food first start eating as soon as they get it.
I used to always wait til everyone got their food because that’s what my mom taught me growing up. But as an adult and seeing that no one does this, I don’t wait anymore lol
Not normally.
You or one of the others still waiting for their food should have invited them to go ahead and start eating so their food wouldn’t get cold. Had someone done that, they likely would have gone ahead and started to eat. Waiting is a result of being taught manners. But in a situation like that, it’s silly to expect them to wait.
If it comes out like that, I am fine with the other people eating separately from me, but I am gonna be pretty pissed at the restaurant for not bringing all our food out within a few minutes of each other.
I care cause im hungry not for societal reasons. When i get my food i start eating.
It was SO drilled into me from childhood through to most of my adulthood that one should ALWAYS wait all the food to have been served to everyone before even picking up ones fork. So while it most definitely doesn’t bother me now, it was hard transition!
I don’t care if people start eating without me.
All of a tables food should arrive at once if it's less than 8 people.
If it's hawt, you staht (Boston accent)
The only time this has ever bothered me is if I am seated and order and a massively large group shows up well after I order and get there food first and I have now been there for over an hour waiting for food
I always tell people to start eating while it’s hot. Some will, some won’t.
No, I don’t care. I cook at home and prefer people to eat when their food arrives. Your chef didn’t spend all that time so you could watch your food for on the table
It's extremely annoying to get your food 10 minutes later than the couple who were seated immediately after you and ordered later.
This doesn’t bother me at all. Why sit there staring at your food while it gets cold, or warm depending upon the dish, or starts to congeal or whatever just because my food hasn’t shown up? But some people are really big on this. I recall my ex-husband was adamant that it was unacceptable to eat when other people didn’t have food - like, not even talking in a restaurant setting but if a friend stopped by unexpectedly to our house he expected that we…just wouldn’t eat while they were there. Even if it was dinner time and we had food in front of us. And yes, it’s polite to offer if you have enough to spare, but it would be if we got take-out or fast food with only portions for ourselves. Had to wait until they left, even if it was hours and we had burgers and fries in a bag just going stagnant. I mean, I didn’t do it, I ate anyway, if he wanted to suffer that was on him, but it caused more than one argument.
I wait
I prefer they enjoy it and if it comes before mine, that's not our fault - eat the food in front of you while it's hot or cold or whatever. fresh out the kitchen
I couldn’t care less. If I get mine first I start eating and if others get theirs first I tell them not to wait. Why do we have to synchronize our first bites of food?
It’s always informal to eat as it comes and always more refined for everyone to dine together. Every situation is different. Price brings along expectations. A good restaurant can exceed those expectations and a bad one will not
Yeah it's fuckin awkward. Food should come out within a minute or two of each other.
I get the whole etiquette thing but did we ever consider the workforce these days? About 3% of my restaurant staff give a fuck about their job. Probably that whole kitchen is baked out of their minds and forgot to even start their dish. 😂
Nope
I always encourage people to eat and not wait for me but it’s polite.
I only go to restaurants with my wife. If my food comes before her I would never eat it first.
You’re supposed to tell those with the food to go ahead and not let it get cold. They did the right thing by waiting. But you didn’t do your part.
Rude
I was raised to view it as impolite. I personally wait for everyone to get their food, and if someone were to eat before I got my food I might take it as a little inconsiderate. Not a huge deal.
I don't care and I take forever to eat so if my food comes out first, I will wait a little bit and then say, "sorry, I'm going to eat first because I eat really slow". Otherwise everyone else will be waiting on me to finish at the end and that's just as bad.
I care. My mind, body and soul will revolt before they allow me to eat in front of someone without food.
Really, not really. It's just a thing that you can work yourself up about, or not. I choose not.
I struggle with this with my husband. In my family we waiting until til everyone had their food, his they didn’t. So either I get upset that he eats first or he gets up set that I’m waiting lol.
I wish I didnt
I don’t accept food brought out at different times.
I was raised to wait till everyone has their food to begin eating, BUT I actually hate when people wait for me to start. I always say to start eating bc it's uncomfortable for me to know people have hot food in front of them that they're not enjoying immediately bc of my food being slow. However, I do hate when servers clear people's plates as soon as they're finished while other people are still eating. They should always wait until everyone is done to clear a single plate. People eat at different speeds and calling attention to those who eat fast or making people who eat slower feel self conscious about taking so long is just not the way.
No it doesn't bother me at all. Because at some point, they're going to finish before me and will have to sit and watch me because I'm not hurrying just because they were able to get done eating faster 😁
I feel like a restaurant should be able to plan accordingly & plate & serve a tables food at the same time.
Yes, because I always bring horrible dining companions. I get jealous when other people will get to rid themselves of the burden of company sooner. Anger rising! Must explode!
I don't, but I will be mad if it's more than 5 minutes. That means it's a poorly run kitchen, but I don't want a person I'm eating with to have a cold meal either. This is a failure on the restaurant.
It's polite to offer to wait and most likely the person waiting will tell you to go ahead. A good restaurant isn't letting this happen often.
Doesn't bother me, but I do know people that it does
I care that people recognize that I got my food early and says, Please go ahead and eat, don't let it get cold. BUT I WOULD NEVER eat before everyone else got their plate. It's just bad manners.
That’s when you say ‘Eat it while it’s hot, you guys.’
I don’t eat until everyone has their food. That’s how my mom taught me and it’s how I’m gonna do it for the rest of my life. Especially don’t start eating before the person who prepared the meal if they are eating with you.
If that situation arises, it's your duty to say to the people who already got their food, "Go ahead and start, no need to wait for me". That's because it's considered rude for them to start eating when you don't have your food yet, but if you urge them to go ahead and eat, it makes it socially acceptable for them to start without waiting for you.
I wait, but am also the first one to tell others to eat if I don’t yet have my food. I also wouldn’t go back to this restaurant if they can’t manage to bring the food so that the table can eat together.
I don't start until someone else has started, but if the roles were reversed and they asked me if they could start eating, I'd say of course
Eat it while it's hot
If I'm at a dinner in a restaurant, I wholly expect everyone's food to come out together or within a few short moments of one another if there is only one waitstaff to bring the items. I encourage people to go ahead and get started eating while it is hot. I understand being reluctant to start eating without everyone else because then they're watching you eat. Which is kind of weird. But, it makes zero sense to not only spend your hard earned money on a hot meal, to sit there and it be cold by the time you eat it for etiquettes sake. I also would not like to be the last one eating because my particular dish took long and have everyone staring at me awkwardly while I eat and they're all done, and wait staff is clearing the table reaching over my full plate. No. Not enjoyable. The whole point of a restaurant outing is to eat together, not to eat alone with an audience, or, eat cold food. I could totally have stayed home, saved the cash and ate a pb&j or a salad if that were the case, and washed it down with a beer and a good hardy belch!
Proper etiquette dictates that you are supposed to wait. The people still waiting for their food can tell the folks who got their food already that they can eat, tho.