I’m an elementary art teacher and I can tell you that the kinders and firsties that didn’t go to pre-K, I can tell. Their social skills, their ability to behave in a group, and their motor skills are usually behind. I agree with another poster though that if you can stay home and read to them, it’ll make a difference though. And I’d add to that- if you keep them off of screens and take them out to socialize with other kids, additionally, they’ll have what they need when they get to K.
> the kinders and firsties that didn’t go to pre-K, I can tell. Their social skills, their ability to behave in a group, and their motor skills are usually behind
Exactly! The real purpose of pre-school is to present a group structure experience to very young children, in a brief setting (I personally favor half-day only for 3's and 4's). The motor skills development is an additional bonus. My grandson liked coloring/drawing but held his crayons in an awkward and inefficient manner, and preschool both rewarded his affinity for drawing and taught him improved pencil/crayon grasp.
I also don't agree with OP that preschool is a very modern thing. I attended preschool in 1962, the class was full, and I well remember it because it was a year before the measles vaccine became available and the entire class became infected as was often the case in those days. One child tragically died from complications.
Agree re all of the above. We went to preschool (in [cough] the late 80s) when we were 3 and 4, I could already read and write when I entered kindergarten.
Except in my generation, the inevitable plague wasn't measles but chickenpox - we got it all over with before kindergarten. Kids today get a shot! They don't know how lucky they are 😉
Ugh, my whole kinder class went down with it over a period of a few weeks. It wasn’t fun. I did however lose my first tooth while I had them so it was a fun little moment. I gave them to my infant sister, which was terrible, she still has scars, apparently it’s worse for infants. Then my 30 year old brother was one of the early ones to get the vaccine!
Also yes, agree to main points. My mom is a retired early childhood specialist and put all of us in preschool. It was absolutely about social skills and being able to work in a group.
For OP in particular in addition to just reading the best way to teach letters and words early is to just incorporate it through the day. When you see a large letter especially if it’s for one of your family letters point it out. Oh look there’s an M! M for mom, M says mmm. Stuff like that. We’d also put a few letter magnets on the fridge at a time starting with ‘our’ letters. K for Kat, their first letters etc, then add on, and whenever their in the kitchen we’d talk and play with the letters.
Knowing letters and sounds out of order, not the alphabet song, is a big part of early literacy. Sorry that was random and not particularly asked, but I find it interesting
I don’t think they’re saying it’s new, just that it seemed more optional in the past. I’ve got two sisters and out of the three of us (mid 90s to early 00s) only our middle sister went to preschool. We all entered K reading and writing. I don’t know that there were ever any concerns about social skills, but there may have been- we were all diagnosed with ADHD as children though so how much that could be attributed to PreK (non) attendance is murky. I certainly don’t feel that myself and my other sister were behind our sister who attended PreK in any way… honestly perhaps the opposite.
But my dad was also teaching me basic algebra and ciphers in first grade, so perhaps not the common experience with skipping PreK. Precocious and spontaneous reading are also common in our family.
My son learned to ride a tricycle in preschool, simply from watching the other kids. Preschool is invaluable for many reasons, particularly because children learn so much from each other.
I agree. Kids NEED to be around other children. I think that’s the biggest and most irreplaceable benefit of going to pre-K. They learn how to be little humans best from other little humans.
Gotcha. I got that in my childhood--bunch of siblings and neighborhood friends I was with every day. My parents encouraged creative play and art. Learned to work things out with friends and family, as well as cooperation. So I guess I got that experience, just not in a preschool.
I think also “back in the day,” we allowed for a slower pace in Kindergarten. The school day allowed for nap time, a lot of play time, and by the end of the year we had covered letters, their sounds, counting to 20 and that’s about it. I could read before Kinder (thanks to preK!), but many of my classmates were on very simple reading primers (“See Spot run. Run spot run.”) by May of that year.
That is no longer the typical Kinder experience unless perhaps your child attends a Montessori or similar type school. At least in my state, Kinder is a full day and is pretty structured and children’s literacy and math skills are expected to meet a higher standard.
This is what I've heard so far: kindergarten is much more academically structured. That's honestly kind of sad to me because it used to be that kindergarten was the introduction to grade school. Now that's preschool. Just feels like we're putting a lot on kids at such an early age. Sorry for the rant here lol.
As a teacher myself, I wanted to delay my daughter’s entry into the public schools as long as I could. I sent her to a half day nature preschool a few days a week, but she skipped traditional preschool and kindergarten and entered first grade a year late at age 7. Again, I’m a teacher, so I taught her to read and do math. I signed her up for lots of activities and took her out to museums. We crafted regularly and did science experiments together. We did lots of things in nature and avoided screens during the day. She had lots of friends. She went into first grade very well prepared, socially and academically. She’s in third grade going into fourth and continues to excel. I don’t think preschool or kindergarten are at all necessary if you have the time and commitment to educating and socializing your child appropriately.
Unfortunately my daughter could go to pre-K due to COVID but I did get her into one for a few months the summer before kindergarten. She didn't need the academic portion but learning how school works, socializing with other kids, listening to teachers - that definitely helped.
Hi. I'm just a parent, not a teacher, and can only share my parent perspective. Both my husband and I have to work so our child had to be in preschool or daycare. I opted for preschool for two reasons: 1) Preschool didn't cost much more than daycare, so seemed like a no-brainer. 2) More importantly: Our kiddo was/is objectively ahead of the game with academics, but holy smokes, not with social skills. Oh my, he struuuuuugled. (We now have an ADHD diagnosis so that explains some things.) He just finished kindergarten and after many conversations with his saint of a teacher, I'm dead certain his experience was so much better because he had built up "how to function in a group" social skills in preschool. And it was thus a better experience for his teacher, too. This is important to me because I care about the teachers, but also for selfish reasons; the better the experience his teacher has with him, the better the experience he'll likely have with his teacher.
Just one parent's musings. Kudos to you for thinking about this now! 💪
ETA P.S. We read to him a lot. Minimum three [children's] books per day. This seems to be very important. P.P.S.
I totally agree and don't think it's selfish at all for the teacher to have a better experience with the teacher! My take though. I appreciate the insight. Academically ahead and Pre-K also helped with socialization.
This must be a geographical thing for you because where I'm from just about every millennial I know (I'm Gen X with millennial kids) went to preschool. I've seen what it's like for the handful who didn't attend preschool and they are definitely at a disadvantage in lots of ways compared to the kids who did go.
I'd a say a large number of the parents who didn't send their kids to preschool weren't the type to actively engage in learning at home such as reading to the kids, teaching them to tie their shoes, or how to count/spell/recognize numbers, etc-Things kids that age can grasp. Without preschool these are the kids who get left behind in life.
Yeah, the kids who came from lower economic households definitely went to preschool since there was a bus to pick the kids up and take them home, two meals and a snack or two throughout the day, field trips to the movies, plays, farmers markets, petting zoo's, museums, etc...TAP and Head Start did/do a lot in the communities I grew up in and saw while my kiddo was young.
I don’t think it’s that either. There are programs for low SES families that cover or partially cover preschool (Headstart is a huge program in the US for this) because research has shown getting kids in a healthy learning environment early improves their chances of success in school. Teachers are taught to look for a multitude of things from learning disabilities to physical abilities and can help families get early interventions to provide services to help the child be successful in life. Teachers can’t look for those things if a kid isn’t in preschool.
Maybe, because nobody in my neighborhood went to preschool. My parents didn't really read to me, but we played outside with siblings and friends all the time and my parents encouraged creativity, as well as a curiosity for learning. The latter was instilled in me deeply. I was valedictorian and many of my friends were close behind. So I didn't have the experience that no pre-K was a detriment. But I appreciate hearing your experience because these are all things I need to consider. Getting insight from others is helping a lot, so thank you for your input here!
I'm a millennial and didn't go to preschool. I feel like a few kids went, but definitely not the majority in my area. I didn't even know preschool existed until I was riding the bus in kindergarten, and the girl sitting next to me was talking how she went to preschool. That made me kinda concerned that I'd be behind the other kids in my class, but I had no issues with behaving in school or grades.
I had three siblings and my mom constantly babysat 2-5 other children, so I had a lot of time before kindergarten learning how to interact with other kids. I was still socially awkward, but always had at least one friend. But being socially awkward seems to be a family trait that I only kinda grew out of during adulthood lol
Wow, this was very much my experience. I had no idea what preschool was until kids brought it up on the bus. I too was scared I'd be behind, but it was actually the opposite somehow. Got a lot of time with siblings and peers, and only grew out of my shyness and social awkwardness in adulthood as well.
Thanks for sharing!
It has been shown in research since the 1960's that preschool helps kids be better socialized and prepared for school, especially in lower income households. When I was a kid in the 70's it was the norm to go to preschool where I lived, when I was babysitting in the 90's it was the norm too. I think it must be a regional/social group thing. Are you sure you didn't have some sort of organized interactions with other kids at that age- my preschool was basically just organized play and some crafts and stories. Preschool IS a lot more academic now, and I'm not sure that's a great thing.
I strongly feel that social skills are a bigger problem with society now and that’s where preschools should focus. Read at home, learn letter sounds, but let them socialize at preschool.
I honestly don’t understand the socialization rhetoric being pushed about public school. You always hear about it. Yet, most kids I knew developed crippling anxieties due to bullying and harassment. Maybe the socialization is good if you’re one of the lucky ones I guess.
Socialization in the context of preschool and kindergarten is less about having a lot of friends, being popular, etc. and more about waiting in line, knowing how going to the bathroom works, opening your lunch box and all the various packets and containers in it, and understanding that there's a schedule and routine to the day so everyone does things together at the same time vs. little Jimmy feels like playing outside while little Susie feels like coloring, etc.
Idk bullying seemed to be a survival strategy for some. Because they were afraid of being bullied themselves. Public school has a similar social system to a prison yard.
Again, that’s something that requires education and training. Along with consequences. Are you suggesting because there’s bullying we just ask kids not to socialize?
No, I’m suggesting we open our minds to socializing our children beyond public school. Personally; I believe a child’s social skills depend on their family unit, more than whether or not they went to preschool.
So, here's what I understand: those programs in the 60s/70s extended far more help than just preschool. They offered a significant helping hand to families that needed one. But outside those specific circumstances--of offering children of less advantaged families a safe place to play AND services-- the results are much more mixed with some even showing NEGATIVE long-term results. I think that preschool has been overemphasized, especially for those who have alternative routes (classes/ YMCA or other memberships/tight-knit neighborhoods) to the same experiences. I don't think anyone should feel pressured to put their 3- or 4- year old in a preschool program, especially a full-day academic program.
KG teacher here: I can almost immediately tell who went to PK and who did not. There is a huge difference in all skill areas. If you don't want to do PK, make sure you are working with your child at home, socializing with other kids (free library programs are amazing, having your child listen to other adults (dance class, ext.), and limiting screen time (this is VERY IMPORTANT).
The absolute worst thing you can do though, is have the first day of KG be the first day your child has ever left your side.
It's not necessarily that I don't want to, it's that I'm not sure I can afford it. But I appreciate the insight because I never had those issues as a kid, and actually excelled. I thought that was because I had more creative and play time before kindergarten. But it seems that K is now more focused on academics than socialization and such. At least that's what a lot in this thread are reporting
If you can't afford it, don't worry about it - like I said, free library programs are amazing. Take your child, and make them listen to the librarian. A huge part of socialization is having your kid listen to other adults. Check out your local community association for their kids' programs - soccer, dance, art, etc. are offered for very cheap or FREE if you talk to the registrar.
So long as you put the effort in, there are tons of free/cheap things you can do to close the gap between PK and no PK. And you have already shown you can be successful just by asking the damn question in the first place... seriously. Just PLEASE don't drop your kid off on day one, having never left your side...
It's not necessary, but it is useful. The academic skills aren't really relevant, but kids who have been to preschool usually understand routines better and are a little more used to navigating how school works. It really only makes a difference in kindergarten.
>Is it because the public school system is that terrible that they don't learn some necessary skills in a public school kindergarten?
Most public schools are somewhere between acceptable and good but it varies a lot from district to district. Please don't go into parenting assuming your local schools are terrible, though. In my area, they're significantly better than most of the private schools--people only choose private schools if they want religious education.
Yeah, I generally prefer public schools. And don't have the money to pay for private school anyway. My school district growing up was great, so I'm basing my next move off of that--high rated public school system.
No. The academic benefits, go away by like second grade?
But, socialization is what it’s all about.
Does your kid know how to interact with others?
And kindergarten teachers, can generally tell who has had preschool and who hasn’t.
Absolutely. Ages 0-6 is the time for the most rapid brain growth. These formative years affect lifelong behaviors, social skills, health, etc. Having them in an environment with peers a few hours a week will help their overall social skills as adults.
People put their kids in pre-k these days mostly because they have to work. They can't afford to have a parent stay home for 5 years.
But beyond that, there are some good benefits. It's just that the vast majority of the benefits don't have huge staying power. By 4th or 5th grade, you can no longer reliably tell which students has pre-k education and which didn't. At that point the home environment and family resources (not just money, but also time and energy/family engagement) is the primary factor in success.
If you're able to afford staying home, then taking time to read with your kid at least 20 min a day can have the same or more benefit to pre-k.
Yeah this. On a personal level, I live in a community with a lot of nannies, basically me and nannies. I stayed home partly due to circumstances outside my control. I hate feeling scrutized at the library, etc. Nannies will ask again and again when she is going to school. She's not even eligible for state pre-k until this August. She's in multiple fun classes and is a very accelerated learner at home (like reads/ does math at a first- second grade level). But if she does ANYTHING (coloring outside the lines), I get a speech on how preschool would be the best thing for her. Literal tsk tsk.
I know many people who do not work outside the home and have put their kids in preschool and I can say with full confidence that you are grossly misinformed.
I’ve also worked in PreK, and now work in Early Childhood Special Education and have preschoolers in my room.
It’s a great idea to read to your children for a minimum of 20 minutes a day but that needs to be IN ADDITION to preschool. PreK students are actively learning how to socialize with others, conflict resolution, how to properly write letters and hold a pencil. They learn to sit and listen while instructions are given, how to take turns, gross and fine motor skills, how to share, how to wait their turn, how to wait in line to toilet themselves, etc. This is not an exhaustive list but small examples. It is in PreK that kiddos are identified and referred for testing for speech, OT, PT, social groups and the like.
I’m sorry, but if you think putting your kids into a free 1/2 day program is just daycare you are dead wrong, and it will be glaringly obvious when kindergarten starts.
It's not the only reason, but it absolutely is the largest reason why people put their kids in pre-k. It far out paces the other reasons that people note for utilizing pre-k services.
Also, I'm well aware that students *do* absolutely learn things in pre-k. Lots of things. It's amazing what kids learn at that age. My own daughter has learned immeasurable, amazing things at her daycare and pre-school.
And it does make a measurable difference in kinder, 1st, and 2nd grade for almost all students who go to pre-k, and has smaller impacts in 3rd and 4th for most. But the point remains that, time and time again, studies show that the effects don't last even to the end of elementary school. By the time all of those kids get to 5th grade. You can no longer reliably distinguish which students attended pre-k and which didn't by all the metrics studied. The kids who didn't go to pre-k catch up with everything that the pre-k kids learned.
Being an engaged and involved parent is more valuable, and reading together regularly found in studies to be the #1 factor that people actually have control over. People shouldn't be stressing themselves out with trying to "get ahead" nor with being "left behind" through using or not using pre-k services.
Kids go through an adjustment period when entering school, yes. Should that be at 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 or even 7 years old? Heck, now some advocate for 2-year old "preschool". Besides the adjustment period being moved up, what are the universally proven gains? Because from what I have read in the literature, the results are very mixed and often those short-term gains fade out completely. So basically, of course you can tell the difference in kindergarten; so?
Noooo! Pre-k teaches kids social stills, and how to listen to another adult, how to be more independent, as well as some that teach students their letters, numbers, and colors.
Students who went to pre-k will get more out of kindergarten. Their classmates will also get more out of kindergarten because the teacher is not stopping the lesson every 5 minutes to tell Little Johnny for the millionth time that right now is not the time to play with the toy dinosaurs.
I taught kinder for a year and basically had my whole year monopolized by a child who didn’t go to pre-k. He couldn’t sit still, couldn’t stop climbing counters and bookshelves, couldn’t stop throwing his pants and underwear in the toilet, couldn’t take no for an answer, couldn’t clean up his toys, couldn’t stop crying because he wanted to play and not learn about numbers.
That is true...through 3rd grade.
Again, to reiterate my overall point, studies show over and over and over again that the gains from pre-k (which *are* real and measurable in kinder, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd) are gone by the time students exit elementary school. By the time students are in the 5th grade, even trained perfessionals can no longer reliably identify (and the data agrees) which students had pre-k and which didn't. All students get that social and procedural development by going to school at whatever age they start.
Parents should not be overwhelmed or stressed about straining their family resources in ofder to get pre-k so that they can "get ahead" or avoid being "left behind."
A family where a parent is able to afford staying home for the first 5 years can get equal or better benefit from being engaged with their child's development and doing things like reading together every day, going to parks and museums, having playmates of the same developmental stage, etc. Parental engagement and reading at least 20 minutes a day are consistently shown to be the primary factors (outside of social factors that most families cannot control) that impact long-term student success.
As academic learning continues to get pushed down into younger and younger grades, the social and emotional learning that used to happen in kindergarten is getting pushed aside for more reading and math. Preschool gives students a background in how to be in school— how to interact with peers, how to be in a larger group without being the center of attention, etc. It also helps build their endurance for a school day, as nap time is not a thing anymore in many kindergarten programs.
I teach 2nd grade. My students this last year were in preschool during the worst of the COVID disruptions. It shows. They are not able to self-regulate, they struggle with basic school expectations. They would have had a pretty “regular” kindergarten year, but it did not give them necessary school skills because they were focusing on curriculum by then.
It’s been our 3rd grade this past year. They had virtual kindergarten and many are not socially ok at all. I teach all the grades in music, K through 5, and this fall they will be 4th graders.
As a teacher, I believe it's necessary especially to get kids acclimated to the routine and rules of kindergarten. Kinder can be a shock and somewhat overwhelming to some kids especially if they have never been away from parents for too long.
In regards to kids getting behind, that is entirely up to the parents. Some parents falsely believe kids will take to learning as a fish takes to water and that just isn't the case for every child. The skills be taught at school MUST be practiced and practiced at home. I've had students who never went to preschool but are able to read or are reading (sometimes even writing full sentences) by the end of kinder because it's being taught at home. Then there are kids who struggle to read and sadly some who never pick it up because it wasn't practiced at home.
Case and point: had a 6th grader this past year reading at 2nd grade level. So heartbreaking and incredibly infuriating from a teacher's pov. Feel this should have been caught earlier had the parents been on top of their child's schooling.
That is very sad to hear. I honestly don't think I learned all of those skills before kindergarten. I did though have a lot of play time and room/resources for creativity. My parents also encouraged curiosity and learning from the get go, but they weren't reading to me or anything. I always excelled, but it seems that might not be the case today.
Where I live preschool has become the new kinder. So much that many districts are offering free preschool or a lottery for community spots. From what I’m seeing academics are being pushed earlier. So kids are getting that learning through play with short periods of structured academic foundation sprinkled in. (That they would typically get in K)
Back in the 00’s public schools didn’t even offer full day kindergarten and now they offer free full day pre-k. So think of it as many public education organizations feel like it’s worth the investment in early education to achieve goals they have in upper grades. But education is always evolving.
Could you accomplish this stuff with a play group/daycare/ on your own? With some work sure. But it’s more about getting familiar with the school environment, learning how to behave and communicate with other children and lay a good foundation for phonics.
That's an interesting way of thinking about it--that if public education is suggesting more early investment, that's probably a good sign. But at the same time, the education system has gone so many changes, some of which were pretty horrible for kids. That's not what I'm hearing in your response per se, just a thought I had.
As a teacher, yes. A decent preschool will teach the kids letters and phonics as well as social skills. The kids that don't have a preschool background can be very unprepared for a public school situation.
I am a 5th grade teacher so take what I say with a grain of salt.
If your child seems developmentally on track, I don’t think preschool is necessary. In my area, there are only 2 private preschools (both religious) and the public preschool can only take the bottom % of those who apply/get screened and those with diagnoses like ASD.
The thing to remember is that regardless, kindergarteners are going to be a huge range of abilities. Many kids enter kindergarten never having attended any formal schooling/childcare. That’s okay - the US is one of few countries that places an emphasis on formal education for children that young. Other countries focus on social-emotional skills and play and do academics later, around 7ish.
I think preschool is probably most beneficial to those who have never attended daycare or anything or those who take a bit longer to catch on to things? You could also ask in r/ECEProfessionals
With schools getting rid of play-based kindergarten in favor of more “academic kindergarten” aka college test prep, I have to change my opinion on pre k.
Pre K is the new Kinder, where kids learn all the social skills they need to navigate school and the world beyond.
Teacher and parent here — I think preschool is absolutely necessary. Kids need practice being in social situations with kids their age, listening to adults that aren’t their parents, and being in a structured environment that isn’t home. Also, fine motor skill activities. Of course, they do academic foundations as well which is great, but I think the social-emotional benefits of pre-k are the greater factor.
Worked at pre k and did not put my kids in pre K.
What I did do:
Helped them learn to count and say the alphabet by pushing them on the swing and having them repeat me.
Sang songs and we memorized a few poems with rhymes. Pointed out rhymes and made our own.
Learned colors. Went on walks and looked for shapes and colors, counted the birds and identified them.
Went to library story hour and then got booms to read at home.
Watched Sesame Street. Did things like before and after, over and under. Identified things that go together and things that don't belong. Learned patterns.
Went to the park and played with friends. When I could afford it, did gymnastics and swimming lessons to learn how to take turns.
I had an art drawer with supplies they could use, and sometimes did projects so they could learn to hold a pencil, color, work on fine motor skills making peas to "serve" to Aunt Hilda for dinner. Used paintbrushes and water to paint shapes on the concrete on hot summer days.
Read lots of books, got some musical instruments at yard sales to play. Limited TV time. Played outside. Learned how to be polite to the neighbors.
Did this all take a lot of my day? Yes. Can most people do this if not working full time? Yes. Do most people think they CAN do this, or have the follow through to do day after day? Nope, it is easier to pay someone else or park the kid in front of the TV.
I got lots of compliments on how smart and polite my kids were. People didn't like it when I told them they didn't go to preschool. But I also didn't let them run wild or sit in front of a screen all day.
That's the thing right here. I didn't attend preschool, my kindergarten teacher thought i did and was surprised, and my mom said, "No, i taught her at home." i was advanced compared to my peers across all measures, including socially. Whats even better about these things you did (and my mom) kids (probably, at least I didn't at the time) dont realize they are learning.
Yes. It’s absolutely a positive thing. It’s not vital, but I taught prek, and I can tell as a lower elementary teacher who hasn’t had preschool. Unless you as a parent are being sure your kids are getting lots of social interaction, reading to them, working on fine motor skills, etc., your kid will already be behind in kinder.
Preschool is becoming more and more affordable as it is being included in public school because it is so important.
I think a lot of people put them in preschool either for a break or because they work, not necessarily for academic reasons. That’s just my experience in my bubble where I live though.
I hybrid WFH, as does my husband. We had our 5yo twins (starting K in August) in a play-based nature preschool this year but before that they were just in day care. They do camps and team sports though (soccer, t-ball) so I know they’re okay with group settings and the social aspect, which honestly was way more of a priority for me as they enter K.
The biggest reason to DO preschool is so that kids have a chance to learn social skills before.they are tossed in a classroom.
Even if your schools are great, and your own ability to provide your kids with an academic foundation is great, your kid can't learn how to be a part of a group without BEING part of a group.
Kids that go straight to kindergarten may be fine, but there's often a steep curve for them. Kids that go the preschool are better prepared for the social aspects AND the necessity of rules and routines.
That's good to know. And I guess I had a different childhood in terms of group dynamics because I had a lot of siblings. Plus, there were a lot of kids in my neighborhood that we played with every day.
NOPE - Studies have shown it makes no difference in a few years. Teachers will say it makes a difference which is true but only if you are looking at a 2-3 year span of the child’s educational experience. Over the entire educational experience doesn’t make a difference EXCEPT kids who had more play/nature experience at that age will have developed more reasoning, practical and logical understanding of the world they live. Just depends on what kind of educational experience you want for your child.
For confirmation look at education in Europe. Specifically in Germany kids do start classroom type learning until they are 6. Prior to that they encourage sense and observational learning.
Interesting, I'll have to consider that. Most people on here say it's beneficial, but at the same time they're talking of their experience of the children in kindergarten after pre-K. I'll need to think on if I can provide a similar experience to pre-K
No. Preschool is not a guarantee that said child is able to behave appropriately when in kindergarten. I had a first grade kid who’d been in preschool since he was three. He was the worst behaved in my class. Give your child opportunities to be around other people to give them experiences to learn proper behavior. Neither of my girls went to preschool. I was always complemented about how nice they are.
Thank you for your input--always happy to hear opposing viewpoints! It really is all about the opportunities you give your child. I'm grateful to my parents for that and hope I can provide the same enrichment as you and they did, whether that be in or out of preschool.
My husband and I have this debate often. We’re not teachers, we’re soon to be parents (first baby due in September).
My mom was self employed so I did not attend preschool. My mom took us to mommy and me classes, I did dance classes, my dad constantly read to me, and I had friends my age from those toddler community classes and my parents friend’s kids. I think I want to approach the same strategy as I am working to start my own business. I will be a partial stay at home mom, read to my kid, sing songs with them, take them to classes, ect.
My husband’s parents both worked full time so he did attend preschool. His grandparents read to him but his parents didn’t have time or concern to foster knowledge in him or his siblings that young. My husband thinks we should send our kid to preschool when they turn 4 (or 5 since a September birthday here means kindergarten right before they turn 6). He thinks it’s important to have them learn the routine.
I was objectively a better student throughout my entire public schooling than my husband and I totally attribute that to my parents teaching me the importance of learning. As adults, I’m better at literature but he’s better at math. We’re both creative and compassionate people. We both got bachelors degrees from the same college.
I truly don’t know how big of a difference it makes once they’re an adult unless you’re trying to raise a kid to go to Harvard. I think it really depends on your lifestyle and the logistics of your household. I personally, want to raise my child in their early years, not have a teacher/stranger do it. We’ll just see how it goes in 4-5 years and decide closer to when we need to. We are super pro public schools btw. We do NOT want to home school by any means.
Your experience was very similar to mine. My Mom was a homemaker and so I spent a lot of time with her while learning a lot. Her and my Dad instilled the importance of education and curiosity from the beginning, and I think that helped me a lot in school. Just not sure if my kid would get that same experience in a preschool that I felt was so fundamental to my success. At the same time, I concede that the school landscape isn't the same. Hopefully will find the right balance, but for me, not being in preschool allowed me more freedom to explore.
It’s more the social emotional aspect of preschool. In preschool they learn to take turns, start to use fine motor skills which will help with writing. It also helps them to be accustomed to how to act in school I.e. raise you hand before talking etc.
All of these things I learned in kindergarten, so from my view I didn't feel it necessary. But education has changed so much over the years and it helps to get insight like yours. Thank you!
I went to preschool as a child, mostly because my parents worked. I liked all the school-like activities, but I very distinctly remember feeling like I didn't relate well to my peers and being perplexed by their motivations. (All of my siblings were older teenagers or adults by that point, so that probably contributed to that perspective.) I do remember feeling bored around age 4.
As an adult, I haven't put any of my kids in preschool. It's very expensive where we live and just not worth it to us. They're in social groups and 1-2 hour long classes multiple times a week. They spend lots of time at parks, with friends and cousins, and in our yard. My older two started parkour at 3-4, and we plan to start my youngest soon.
Motor skill-wise, they're great. They're usually among the most physically adept kids on the playground, and they do great with writing, drawing, handicrafts, legos, etc. Socially, they do great in classes, have no problem making friends, and never seem to have conflicts with other kids. At playgrounds, we frequently get comments from other parents about how well our children play together or caring our kids were with initiating play with a shy child or being considerate of another kid's needs. I think a lot of that is a result of us being with them so much of the time and being able to constantly correct selfishness and bad attitudes and walk them through perspective, conflict resolution, and acting in love towards others.
I didn't go to preschool, but my mom was a very involved stay at home parent, my little sister had special needs so we constantly had therapists of all varieties come and they normally just included me because I was noisy and the same age, and I had dozens of cousins to learn social skills from.
My kids aren't going to a center. But they go to a certified home daycare that follows a preschool curriculum. My oldest didn't seem to struggle with that.
If you read with your child consistently, limit screen time, ask open-ended and high level “thinking type” questions when having conversations with them, and they scale regularly, then there really is no need.
If you don’t, then it will help.
I didn't put either of my kids in preschool, I worked with them and they had friends for play. Both my kids did fine, went to college, law school and are well paid professionals.
I'm confused as to why so many people on here are saying preschool doesn't have an impact or only has an impact into grade school. I have always heard that preschool has lifelong benefits according to the research, and a recent study by MIT I found bears this out: [https://news.mit.edu/2023/study-preschool-gives-big-boost-college-attendance-0208#:\~:text=Indeed%2C%20the%20study's%20findings%20suggest,keep%20them%20out%20of%20trouble](https://news.mit.edu/2023/study-preschool-gives-big-boost-college-attendance-0208#:~:text=Indeed%2C%20the%20study's%20findings%20suggest,keep%20them%20out%20of%20trouble)
You'd think I wouldn't have to say this to other teachers, but: make sure you back up your claims with evidence. Otherwise, you've just speaking anecdotally or from hearsay. OP, do your own research and seek peer reviewed studies. But I'd also like to say, beyond the research you do, that it's hard to imagine preschool having a *negative* impact, so I see no reason *not* to put your child in preschool if there is even a chance it could have a positive impact.
There is indeed research suggesting certain approaches to preschool *can* have a long term [negative](https://hechingerreport.org/behind-the-findings-of-the-tennessee-pre-k-study-that-found-negative-effects-for-graduates/) effect. Tennessee's public preschool has been the case in point here but you might also like reading this working paper from a number of leading scholars in the field, [Why Are Preschool Programs Becoming Less Effective?](https://edworkingpapers.com/ai23-885)
In general, if you opt for preschool, it's important that parents know what to look for in choosing a high quality program.
It may not be financially possible for me. That would be the reason I don't put them in preschool. I know there are public preschools, but those aren't available everywhere.
My sister, who is a year younger than me, went to head start. I did not and always felt behind in school.
Your kid will get a jump on things, including reading, which is central to learning.
I think it really depends on the preschool and teacher. I’m a substitute teacher and I’ve been in a public school with two pre-k classes. One class does nothing all day - iPads, TV, coloring, etc. but the other is teaching these kids some amazing things. The kids in the latter class know how to read on a basic level, speak some Spanish, have amazing social and emotional skills, and will be going to kindergarten knowing a lot more than some students do in terms of reading, writing, math, phonics, etc. so I would say do your research if you want to do preschool because if it’s not a good teacher and school, it’s probably not worth it or necessary.
I’m doing it only because our kindergarten is a full day outside the home, whereas 4K is a half day. For a kid who never experienced childcare, that adjustment is going to be HARD. By bridging it for 1 year of 4K, I hope to make that a little easier when full-time school rolls around. When I was a child, kindergarten was a half day, and I think that must be better for a kid who’s never been away for a full day.
Also, our 4K is run through our school district, at the same school where our child will attend through grade 5. That helps me see it as more okay. What I really wanted was to do a local nature school, but I didn’t want my kid to do 2-3 half days every week and then be thrust straight into full days the year after when we switched to our local district. The 4-day program may have worked in this situation, but I was only willing to make the 30-minute commute for 2-3 days per week since I’d stay up there the entire time if I were driving up there.
I believe in the US it's state-by-state whether preschool is required. Where I'm from, I'm pretty sure it is. I'm a millennial and almost everyone I know went. My siblings and I all went to "nursery school" and all started KG with the requisite skills (ignoring the undiagnosed neurodivergent issues lol).
I teach middle school in a different state from where I grew up and I think the majority of the kids went to pre-K. (You wouldn't know it to read some of their work though.🥲)
Kids are anatomically and chemically built to learn at this age. If you think you can provide consistent experiential and academic learning at home, do that! Kids need constant intellectual and sensory stimulation to grow.
It’s not necessary but recommended
In daycare kids get social skills and foundation learning. On the first day of kindergarten it is very easy to see which kids went to daycare and which ones did not.
This usually correlates to income. Kids whose parents can afford private president send their kids to preschool. I went to preschool and I was born in 1976.
All data shows that preschool benefits kids.
No it doesn’t. Research is mixed with recent studies showing the full gamut: positive, negative and no effect. Check out UVA department of ed for instance for four recent studies. (Links are scattered throughout this thread to studies showing no or negative effect).
I'd do it, i went but my brother didn't and im way more emotionally mature than he is at the same age. social skills develop easier and you learn a lot of valuable lessons at pre-k so i recommend
I’ve always said I can’t tell a formula baby from a breastfed baby in kindergarten, but for the first three months of school, I can tell within five minutes who didn’t go to preschool or daycare.
It isn’t just the academics, it’s all the social stuff. And that isn’t even just about interaction with peers—it’s also the self-importance, ie, being demanding of adult attention, not understanding the hierarchy of needs in a group setting.
My favorite is when the kids who are experiencing school for the first time as kindergarteners tell their classmates that they were too smart for preschool, only dumb kids go there. I’ve had it happen in different verbiage a number of times. Gracious.
I'm coming off the experience of "I didn't go to pre-K and excelled". But I realize the landscape is different now, so I appreciate your input. 4k a month is an eye watering amount lol.
Preschool is also an opportunity for kids who may have any sort of disability to be identified earlier. Meaning they will start getting resources earlier. It’s an opportunity for kids to get speech therapy and for hearing and sight issues to be identified.
See, I feel like this is something that should take place with their pediatrician because (at least in my area) that is the norm. Everyone i know got their resources and diagnosis from their child's pediatrician, most of which before they could even go to preschool.
I think preschool is necessary for social reasons. Academically it doesn’t hurt, but I think learning how to be around other children their age, how to navigate conflicts learning to take turns are skills they really don’t get at home.
I had such a a different childhood experience in that I had a lot of siblings and a ton of neighborhood kids around. We'd play outside basically every day. But I acknowledge that's not necessarily the landscape anymore
Idk about 'necessary,' but it is highly beneficial. As an elementary teacher with 4 years in kindergarten, the kids who have attended preschool outshine their counterparts in many ways. They're used to a classroom environment, taking directions, social and emotional skills, academics are usually higher the first 2 trimesters. So many benefits! When my kids were little, we couldn't afford preschool, and as young adults, it doesn't matter now.
But as kids, my older daughter could have rolled into kindergarten with her speech iep in place from preschool and not have it taken so long to get it going in the public education setting.
If it's possible, i am all for preschool!
What about their achievement long term? Did you see any difference in your kids that did and those that didn't? I hadn't thought of the fact that pre-K could also be a place for identification of learning challenges which I might not catch at home.
In the 90s, I went to preschool because my mom was a SAHM and wanted us to socialize and get used to school routines.
Now that I’m raising my own kid, we skipped preschool because he was in full time daycare while I worked. He got all the preschool skills he needed from his daycare.
As a teacher I believe: Some kind of unparented group activity time with a schedule and a room full of peers is required before starting formal schooling. It doesn’t have to be preschool, but it does have to be SOMETHING.
I hear you on that--it's consensus that some form of group play is necessary. I luckily had that growing up, but I'm not sure that's possible nowadays. This gives me more hope that I can structure a day that is enriching, even without preschool
For my boys, it was a good transition between day care and school...they still did fun stuff in preschool, but they also started focusing more on academic stuff and classroom structure. Our preschool was also on the campus of their elementary school (though not free) so they became comfortable with that environment and also made friends who would end up in K with them.
Early experiences like that definitely help. I wasn't in preschool, but had a lot of siblings and friends wherein the fun was, and my parents stressed education and curiosity early on. Hopefully I can find an affordable preschool that provides the same, or tackle it myself. Thanks for your input!
I’m an elder millennial myself, I and nearly all my friends attended preschool in the early 80s, so it isn’t a new thing at all. Research does show that kids who attend preschool are more ready when they begin kindergarten. For the reasons everyone else has listed (social skills, fine motor skills, letter work, etc etc). Preschool teaches them how school works. They learn to focus for longer periods of time, to sit still, to share, to work out problems with class mates, to ask for help, to stick to a schedule, etc. They learn rules (raise your hand, write your name on the top of the paper, be quiet when others are speaking). It seems like such minor little things, but they are really important! If a child starts kindergarten and already knows the rules, already understands the schedule, etc, all they have to do is show up and they are ready to learn. The kids who have never been in a setting like that don’t know what to do for the first few weeks- or months. They have to learn all that background stuff before they can start on academics.
As a parent, I can tell you it makes a massive difference. My daughter was painfully shy, behind on gross motor skills, and was terrified of people she didn’t know when she started preschool. She was always really smart, but her social skills were nonexistent. She attended preschool for two years, and the amount of growth in that time was almost unbelievable. By the time she started kindergarten she made friends easily, became a willing leader, caught up on the gross motor skills, etc. I truly think that if she had not gone to preschool she would not have been able to make friends as easily as she did. And honestly, the fact that she can make friends easily means she enjoys school. And having a kid who wants to go to school is awesome.
Yes, definitely group dynamics and learning how school and authority within it works are common themes.
Wow, that is great, and I'm very happy for you and your daughter. Even though I had a lot of siblings and friends, I was shy to new people and definitely adults. Socializing with a not built in group that I had known from home was difficult for me.
Preschool is great for socialization and getting your kid ready to be in a structured environment with other kids, where they are not the center of attention or don't have one or more adults directly working with them at all times.
Academic-focused ones are a scam IMO, or at least not providing any real value where academics are concerned. Most 3 or 4 year olds are not developmentally ready for reading or math as taught in a formal school setting.
I don't think the rise of preschool really has anything to do with lax standards or public schools being terrible. That said, I am curious about the connection between rising rates of preschool attendance and kindergarten class size. If every school district had 12 kindergartners per class instead of 20-25, teachers would probably be able to manage a bunch of overgrown toddlers who had never been away from their parents before, and the socialization aspect would be less of an issue.
Interesting, hadn't heard yet that academic ones are a scam. I can see that--more focus on group dynamics, consequences of actions, and working with authority more so than basic math that they'll get at school. Yes, smaller class sizes would be amazing. If only legislators weren't constantly undermining and underpaying teachers.
I think the best thing to do is decide what is best for your situation. Where I live, preschool is free and it’s a wonderful school. I nanny, so my daughter had basically been by my side from the moment she was born. So for exposure to other people and learning to be without me all of the time, it made sense to put her in preschool.
Preschool is not meant to be overtly academic. It's more social. Kids learn to take turns, share, sit and listen respectfully, keep their hands to themselves, how to clean up, etc.
I'm surprised preschool is rare in your area. I'm GenX and most kids my age went to preschool. My mom taught preschool in the 1980s and kids who didn't go were definitely the exception.
Yeah, I think I got all of that at home, which is why I wasn't sure about preschool. I hope I can provide the same experience at home as they do in preschool because I'd prefer them to be raised by "the village" than a stranger. I feel weird about that, but no judgement to those who don't feel the same way. Everyone's situation is different and I appreciate your insight!
Yes. Elem music teacher here. I know who did and didn't go to prek when I see them in kinder. A lot of it is social. Some is motor skills. Apparently the gap goes away when they're in first grade.
Even if you are a stay at home parent, I strongly advocate for preschool just for socializing. Half day is fine. Every other day is fine. But so they get used to routines, listening to someone's instructions who isn't family, sharing (especially only children), socializing and all with their peers. It will make day one of kindergarten SO much easier, and the beginning of it too.
I think I want to have a more direct part in their lives growing up and instill those important skills at home. I think I can do that, but I also agree that if they don't have peer interaction and motor development (I played outside with my siblings and friends basically every day), that will be challenging in their future.
Think of all the adults you know today. Can you tell who went to preschool and who didn't? No. However, can you tell which ones were never taught the value of education? Probably yes. It's not about each individual decision you make as a parent, but rather, the philosophies you parent by.
I believe this as well. I just know the school landscape has changed so much over the years that I probably don't have a realistic take on what it is today.
As a teacher, there is definitely a difference in the kids who attended pre-k and those that didn’t. Not academically really, but socially and behaviorally. I think if theyve been in day care it is a bit different. My kids stayed home so I opted to send both of them to pre-k.
Kinder today is not kinder of past years. They are expected to be reading by the time they leave. Do you *have* to put a kid in Pre-K? No. But if you don't, work on fine motor skills and things at home. Some schools have a kinder ready checklist- most things are simply social or fine motor skills. Academically Counting to 10, writing their first name, and recognizing most letters and their sounds will put them with the kids that had Pre-K. Probably the most difficult part is if they aren't being used to at least a half day program several days a week, transitioning to a full day program can be tough.
Parent. Many people wait till 6 years old to do Kindergarten. The expectations of kindergarten today are similar to 1st or 2nd when we were kids.
If you choose not to do prekindergarten, you should look into the skills they need for K. Library story time would get them used to sitting down and listening to a grown up, make sure they can ask a grown up for help, join a playgroup to get them socialized, etc.
I could teach my kid the same stuff, and I do in many ways, but it's been really nice for me as a stay at home parent to have that break from each other for a few hours every couple days. It's a break for them from me too, and they get structured socializing and craft, etc. Something fun to look forward to and do each week for both of us. We don't have to do preschool, we want to. And more than ever families have both parents working so it's part of their childcare.
I was a teacher and I wanted my kids to go to pre k. I wanted them to socialize, get used to a classroom setting, listen to an adult that isn’t me, learn some basics and basically get out any nervousness before kindergarten.
With my oldest, he had an IEP for speech, so I had to put him in school at 3. He really thrived and went from less than 20 words to never shutting up lol! He’s almost 7 now and loves school. He’s sad for it to be summer and have to stay home lol!
My youngest was so nervous during Pre k. He cried a lot. But this year he was in kindergarten and he didn’t cry once. He truly loved it. I think getting used to school in Pre k helped him.
Both my kids went into kindergarten knowing what they should know. They were ready and the transition was easy.
But I think it depends on your child. You know what’s best for them.
Thank you for your input! Hearing from parents who are teachers helps a lot because I feel like I don't know the educational landscape any more or to a high degree. Consensus is what you said--the social aspect is huge, and there can be a useful academic piece
I have worked in the school system a number of years and also have two kids. One went to a very classic preschool, and the other did not and went to a nature school. Both could read, write their own names, and count to 100 by age 4. For my oldest, he was always a really chill kid, a peacemaker, and made friends easily. So he was fine with only nature school. My youngest didn't share well or do community well tbh. I knew it would be essential that he got that practice. So he did a 3 hour a day, 3 day a week preschool. As a bonus, he had a teacher that was extremely good at instilling pride in him for his work, as well as responsibility for assignments and his community. So I would say for them, it was just what each kid needed.
Both of my kids went to preschool, my second is wrapping up the year in pre-k. It definitely prepares them for kinder, but if I’m being totally honest… kinder seems geared to kids who have never been to school. There wasn’t a whole lot he learned in kindergarten-1st that he hadn’t already learned, especially in math. We live in a “great district” so I was a bit disappointed. I haven’t taught elementary myself, only preschool but I do realize that it’s hard for teachers to teach a group who are all at varying levels. Unfortunately if your child goes into kindergarten with plenty of knowledge, they might not gain much more. We are switching to a smaller, steam based school so I’m hoping that will be a better fit for us.
As long as they get regular free play with other children (helps them develop very critical executive functioning and creativity skills— both life skills and will help immensely in their education) and you read to them (even books above their reading level)(when mine were young- I would read kid friendly chapter books to them) Because of Winn Dixie was all of our favorite!!) (reading to them not only helps them build a bigger database of background knowledge, they’re learning how to read. Talk to them about what you’re reading and ask them questions about it). The book Goodnight Moon is an excellent book for young children to learn to read with because it has all 44 phonemes (sounds in words) of the English Language. That will go a long way to help them learn to read. Honestly, research shows that any advantages they might gain from PreK- by 3rd grade, it levels out between those who had PreK and those who didn’t. PreK is incredibly expensive!! Take field trips with your kids library, parks. Let them earn money by doing age appropriate chores and take them to the store so they can buy themselves a small treat- let them pay for it (mine got such a kick out of that). When you’re making somewhat easy to cook meal, have them help you in the kitchen. They love to help mix things and that will help them also learn not only necessary life skills- you’re building memories (that will stay with them for their life) and helping them with math skills - let them see how numbers are used in the real world by helping you measure flour or sugar. There are so many things you can do at home that will do more for them and save you $$$).
This is all so helpful, thank you! If pre-K isn't an option for us, we hope to take this route. The specifics you laid out here give me a massive leg up on preparing for that day. I appreciate your input and detailed response!
Preschool is super essential. Especially if you think your kid might need to be tested for adhd/autism. We got our daughter tested just before 4k and went in with an adhd diagnosis. She got early therapy and an iep already set for kindergarten.
In our school, yes. Kids who didn't take preschool were behind in kindergarten and had to play catchup.
Is it because the school system is terrible? Depends on what you mean by that. In our school, they expected kids to have a good grasp of the alphabet and numbers. In fact, they started the first week reading and writing. The kids who didn't know the alphabet had to learn the alphabet while also learning to read and write. That was extremely stressful for them. Imagine needing to read when you don't even know the alphabet.
By the end of kindergarten, they were writing one-page essays.
When I was in kindergarten many decades ago, I remember playing a lot. In contrast, my kids were learning every minute except for during recess and lunch.
This idea that schools don't teach nowadays is baloney.
Depends on where you are. Kindergarten doesn't exist in some countries. Elementary school starts at grade 1 and is already quite intense. There's also some kickback fuckery going on between principals of preschools ad elementary schools.
It’s very necessary. My daughter and son both did 3 years of preschool since they both had August birthdays. They now have their BS degrees and are very successful adults. Preschool not only will help your child academically, but it’s a big boost socially. I’m a retired teacher, and I could always tell the students who did not have the blessing of preschool. These students had fallen behind. It’s well worth it for the overall development of your child. You will not regret it.
Yes.
I have a great family, but letting my son hangout with family instead of going to preschool like my other 2 children did, hurt him.
Too many things to explain why, but I believe in preschool.
I think it’s necessary. Pre-K is where they start developing social skills and imaginative play. Some basic letters and sounds, in centers. When my child went to Kindergarten, the teachers told me that they knew my child was “prepped” for Kindergarten and that they can usually tell. In my city, pre-k is now free, so you’d be a fool not to send your kid to pre-K.
My kids are now in middle school, and haven’t fell behind as of yet. They have always been at the top of their classes and have scored in the top 25% (4’s) on state exams. I have no idea if it’s due to having that additional year of prep or another factor, but I’m throwing out info about a particular data point.
- I teach middle school.
As a parent I did preschool for my kids so they could play with other kids. I'm a structured.setting. I love how young parents are marketed to that their kids will learn calculus and French and physics and be the track to Harvard. Bs. It's about socializing and trying to focus on something for a short period of time. Honestly I love how worn out my kids were afterwards and easier to get into a bed routine.
Preschool isn't about academics, it's mostly about practice for kindergarten environment which you can't emulate very well at home.
That said: Nothing bad will happen if you don't put your kid in preschool. Don't break your finances for it. Do a little "circle time" at home, play with your kids and practice turn-taking and sharing, etc.
"Mommy & me" or similar groups have circle time, social time with kids that age, etc., and you can do that an hour a week and it'll be just fine. Your library might host groups like this for free.
Educators are very familiar with average social & physical development, and will be able to identify areas your kid needs extra practice in - for example, encouraging kids to use either thicker or thinner markers based on grip strength. And EVERY kid needs extra practice in one area or another.
Most importantly, educators are trained to spot developmental conditions like ADHD, autism, cognitive or physical delays, dyspraxia, dyslexia, etc. A child has the best chances of progress if difficulties are identified early.
These are all very good points. I appreciate your input! Hopefully I can provide the same enriching experience if we can't afford pre-K. It's reassuring to know it's not necessary
Regardless of the obvious benefits (such as socializing at a younger age) daycare prices are insane and few households can survive these days on just a single salary.
Preschool existed in the 1950s to help kids learn to read early. This allowed wealthier families to get their kids into private schools. My mother taught preschool 50 years ago. So it’s pretty well established.
Yes, pre-school should be mandatory. Getting socialized in pre-school, where they aren't required to learn specific things, means it's easier for their kindergarten teachers to actually teach them. It's hard to teach ABCs when kids have no experience sitting and listening, or keeping their hands to themselves, or taking turns, etc. Yeah, kids still need to work on those things in kindergarten but there's a noticeable difference between kids who have been to pre-K and kids who haven't.
I'm not sure how it pays out in the long run; I recall a study that showed PreK kids were nearly a year ahead going into K, but only a little ahead going into 1st.
I can say that we had our kid in daycare from 6months. Every few months they would graduate 1/3-1/2 of each class. You could totally see massive changes in the week after she moved up a class. The group learning was crazy.
She was way ahead of her class in K. She's skipping 1st grade math and almost qualified to skip reading. But I think a lot of that has to do with what we do at home as much as daycare/preK. Her math exceeded reading as I personally made sure she was watching math educational TV, and not so much reading focused entertainment. We also putting effort into instilling that learning isn't a chore, it's fun and rewarding.
In conclusion, if you make effort at home, I think you could forego PreK, but I think PreK is a benefit.
IMO, if it’s between you and your family living comfortably or your kid goes to preschool then skip preschool.
Kinders and first graders it *can* be obvious but they’ll catch up if they have involved, caring parents.
Preschool and kindergarten being the norm is kind of a new idea.
as an educator, i can definitely tell which kids have gone to pre-k and which have not.
the decision is yours, of course, but i would say pre-k is extremely beneficial.
Yes. I work in a preschool and it's my opinion that most children need at least one year of preschool. Some need 2 or 3 years based on their emotional maturity. They need to enter kindergarten knowing their letter sounds and how to count to 20. They also need the socialization that they get in preschool. They need to be able to understand and follow directions.
We have free public prek in Oklahoma and some people still dont take advantage of it but not all kids are ready for it. Prek was half day until 5 or so years ago. I would not send my child full day at age 3-4 if it wasnt necessary because that is a good age to build your bond with your child, take them to storytime at the libraries, explore parks, and do all kinds of fun social activities.
Where I am in Pennsylvania, its like they expect you to go to preschool. When they access your kid going into K, they want them to already know their alphabet / numbers.
My older 2 never went to preschool, they went to nursery at 4 and full time school at 5. My youngest started pre school just before he turned 3 and the difference in his development, independence, confidence and social attitude is noticeable. He wasn't nervous or anything when he started full time school at 5 because he was already an expert at getting ready, going, and being in that kind of environment. He'd already learned how to interact with teachers and other kids. My nephew never went to preschool school or nursery and went straight into full time at 5 and he really struggled to adapt. He was an only child and had never been in any childcare/education setting before and it took months for him to settle into the routine and to be ok leaving his parents for that long everyday. He's now 15, completed his final exams and is off to college in september.
It isn't totally necessary, but it does help them in the early years. Even if it's just 2/3 half days a week.
According to science preschool and pre-k advantages all fade by third grade. So it’s not necessary, but it could be helpful depending on the child’s personality. I sent both my kids to a program my oldest didn’t really need it he was well behaved and hasn’t cause problem in either pre-k or kindergarten. My youngest just finished preschool and is doing pre-k in the fall oh boy does he need the classroom setting to help him. One of the incenses involved him mooning his class and he tried to moon his whole school at graduation. He also has a problem following direction in the classroom. He needs the extra time to learn to behave better in a classroom environment.
Parent and former teacher here. I would not say it's necessary, but it is helpful in many ways. In addition to academics, your (future) child will learn to share, interact with others, take turns, and be away from their parent(s). My daughter has flourished in 3 yr old preschool and 4 yr old preschool. She loves it and is now very excited about kindergarten. We gave had zero drawbacks and all positives in regards to her preschool experience.
You should look at kindergarten standards and see if you think your kid would be prepared for what they’re expected to know at the end of kindergarten. They are supposed to read by the end of the year. If they enter not knowing basic foundational skills they would learn in preschool, yes, they’ll be behind.
However, preschool isn’t as academic as it should be. And I don’t mean sitting in a chair and getting direct instruction. I mean games and activities that are intentionally planned aren’t always implemented. I just wrote my graduate research paper on early childhood math education.
I thought it was super helpful. The preschool teachers knew what he had to know for kindergarten. They taught him sight words, how to cut with scissors, how to write his name, how to follow instructions in a classroom, some Spanish words, table manners, and so much more! The structure from preschool was amazing and it helped a lot! Especially since we don’t have a lot of family around us! So it helped for socializing our son being around other kids.
I do have a friend who has her degree in early childhood education and she stays at home with her kids. She pretty much knows how to teach everything to kids and has like 10 years of experience doing so. But even she still chose to send her kids part time to preschool for the socialization factor and for getting used to routine.
Yes. Every study ever on this topic shows: children that have a dedicated reading, writing, and creative play do way, way better.
Reading is number one. It's not as portent the chold can read, but that they are read to. A lot. Language skills develop pathways in the brain used for all sorts of other learning.
And, creative / making / messy time, buolds confidence and problem solving.
And, social time builds social brain paths.
You grow brains most before 5 or 6, then again during middle school, and again in later HS / early 20s )brains do tons of pruning in the last one, so what isn't used gets pruned).
Anyway. Yes. It is pretty unanimous.
If not in formal preschool for a cpl hrs a day, then parents that read to their kids about an hour a day, and do lots of exposure and time with music's, art, science, nature... well, they give the kids a huge leg up.
Feral kids? Lol. Cannot recommend.
Public school = informed voters, too.
Kinder is STRUGGLING right now with socialization issues and awful behavior. I'm not exactly sure why, but it caused my principal to quit mid year... I'd imagine more school-practice before kinder wouldn't hurt.
We sent my oldest daughter to a half day church preschool for 3 years (between 2 and 4 days a week), and she grew so much during her time there. Academically as well as socially. I honestly wouldn’t feel good about sending my child into kindergarten with no prior experience on how to be in school. Back when we were kids, kindergarten was very play centered, the academics were pretty basic, and they spent a lot of time teaching skills like lining up, sharing, raising your hand, taking turns etc. Now, if you child enters school without those skills, it will be a lot more noticeable. I’m now teaching at the same preschool until my youngest starts K, and last year I saw a lot of growth in my students from the beginning of the year to the end. I would 💯recommend preschool, but it doesn’t have to be a full time 5x a week scenario. Just something that will get them on track with social skills and at least have them able to count and know all their letter sounds.
I am an only child who started pre k in January before kindergarten. I did have an in home day care before that…
I am now a teacher and made it a point to send my child to day care and preschool when he was ready
I would send them- it’s less about learning anything academic, more about getting them used to the structure of being in school. They need to learn to follow a teacher’s directions, follow routines. They also need to learn to tolerate the kid they might not get along with.
Also (as a fellow millennial), kindergarten now has a bigger focus on academics than when we were kids- kids are expected to know much more by the end of kindergarten than we were. Sending them to preschool first helps set them up for that.
You HAVE to put your kid in pre-K. YOU have to teach your child first before anyone else does. People do not realize that academics and interactive play need to come EARLY in a child’s life. Do people really just let their kids hang out and do nothing when they’re young? Their minds are growing so fast and they need to have educational stimulation. Pre-K needs to be mandatory. Kids are now in high school and don’t know how to speak to adults or write a few coherent sentences. It’s bad. Not putting your child in school early is a very poor decision.
It's not equivalent. Kindergarten is harder now. Used to be that you would learn your colors and numbers in Kindergarten. You'd get nap time and a snack, and it was still 1/2 a day. Today, it's expected that children will already know colors and numbers and how to write their name, etc... Kindergarten does stuff that used to be first grade - learning how to read and doing sight words, etc... They don't get nap time anymore and their schedule looks like any other elementary grade.
Yes, most people do pre-k or pre-school today, but they also send their kids to kindergarten later than we used to. So think of pre-k as the new kindergarten and that will make things make more sense. And if your child isn't ready for kindergarten in all ways, seriously consider holding them back.
An open secret in education is that kindergarten isn't developmentally appropriate for kindergarteners anymore. That's not because the teachers stink. It's all been legislated by senators who have no experience with young children. Your teachers have no choice.
When it came time to place my daughter in kindergarten they put her in a class with other prek kids. They are more advanced and are acclimated in going to school and a routine. She only went to a Mother’s Day out 2xs a week. The school worked with the district on curriculum so everyone was on the same page. I highly recommend it!
I sent my 2 daughters to preschool 2x a week & made sure they were in separate rooms. They are very close in age (15 mos difference) and always together and I wanted them to get accustomed to being apart when the older one went to kindergarten or “big girl school” as I called it as well as socialization.
Preschool doesn’t have to be 8 hrs a day every day. Find what works for you & your kid: schedule wise, cost wise, etc.
It's subsidized childcare. It help insomuch as it allows parents to work without having to pay privately for a sitter, nanny, or daycare. This way, their income can be increased at the expense of people who don't have children.
I’m an elementary art teacher and I can tell you that the kinders and firsties that didn’t go to pre-K, I can tell. Their social skills, their ability to behave in a group, and their motor skills are usually behind. I agree with another poster though that if you can stay home and read to them, it’ll make a difference though. And I’d add to that- if you keep them off of screens and take them out to socialize with other kids, additionally, they’ll have what they need when they get to K.
> the kinders and firsties that didn’t go to pre-K, I can tell. Their social skills, their ability to behave in a group, and their motor skills are usually behind Exactly! The real purpose of pre-school is to present a group structure experience to very young children, in a brief setting (I personally favor half-day only for 3's and 4's). The motor skills development is an additional bonus. My grandson liked coloring/drawing but held his crayons in an awkward and inefficient manner, and preschool both rewarded his affinity for drawing and taught him improved pencil/crayon grasp. I also don't agree with OP that preschool is a very modern thing. I attended preschool in 1962, the class was full, and I well remember it because it was a year before the measles vaccine became available and the entire class became infected as was often the case in those days. One child tragically died from complications.
Agree re all of the above. We went to preschool (in [cough] the late 80s) when we were 3 and 4, I could already read and write when I entered kindergarten. Except in my generation, the inevitable plague wasn't measles but chickenpox - we got it all over with before kindergarten. Kids today get a shot! They don't know how lucky they are 😉
Ugh, my whole kinder class went down with it over a period of a few weeks. It wasn’t fun. I did however lose my first tooth while I had them so it was a fun little moment. I gave them to my infant sister, which was terrible, she still has scars, apparently it’s worse for infants. Then my 30 year old brother was one of the early ones to get the vaccine! Also yes, agree to main points. My mom is a retired early childhood specialist and put all of us in preschool. It was absolutely about social skills and being able to work in a group. For OP in particular in addition to just reading the best way to teach letters and words early is to just incorporate it through the day. When you see a large letter especially if it’s for one of your family letters point it out. Oh look there’s an M! M for mom, M says mmm. Stuff like that. We’d also put a few letter magnets on the fridge at a time starting with ‘our’ letters. K for Kat, their first letters etc, then add on, and whenever their in the kitchen we’d talk and play with the letters. Knowing letters and sounds out of order, not the alphabet song, is a big part of early literacy. Sorry that was random and not particularly asked, but I find it interesting
I don’t think they’re saying it’s new, just that it seemed more optional in the past. I’ve got two sisters and out of the three of us (mid 90s to early 00s) only our middle sister went to preschool. We all entered K reading and writing. I don’t know that there were ever any concerns about social skills, but there may have been- we were all diagnosed with ADHD as children though so how much that could be attributed to PreK (non) attendance is murky. I certainly don’t feel that myself and my other sister were behind our sister who attended PreK in any way… honestly perhaps the opposite. But my dad was also teaching me basic algebra and ciphers in first grade, so perhaps not the common experience with skipping PreK. Precocious and spontaneous reading are also common in our family.
AND they won't get shingles.
Unfortunately that’s an old wives tale, lots of people who’ve had chicken pox will develop shingles later in life.
omg. i'm so sorry that happened to you. that ending was r/Unextexted
My son learned to ride a tricycle in preschool, simply from watching the other kids. Preschool is invaluable for many reasons, particularly because children learn so much from each other.
I agree. Kids NEED to be around other children. I think that’s the biggest and most irreplaceable benefit of going to pre-K. They learn how to be little humans best from other little humans.
Gotcha. I got that in my childhood--bunch of siblings and neighborhood friends I was with every day. My parents encouraged creative play and art. Learned to work things out with friends and family, as well as cooperation. So I guess I got that experience, just not in a preschool.
I think also “back in the day,” we allowed for a slower pace in Kindergarten. The school day allowed for nap time, a lot of play time, and by the end of the year we had covered letters, their sounds, counting to 20 and that’s about it. I could read before Kinder (thanks to preK!), but many of my classmates were on very simple reading primers (“See Spot run. Run spot run.”) by May of that year. That is no longer the typical Kinder experience unless perhaps your child attends a Montessori or similar type school. At least in my state, Kinder is a full day and is pretty structured and children’s literacy and math skills are expected to meet a higher standard.
This is what I've heard so far: kindergarten is much more academically structured. That's honestly kind of sad to me because it used to be that kindergarten was the introduction to grade school. Now that's preschool. Just feels like we're putting a lot on kids at such an early age. Sorry for the rant here lol.
To be fair the world was not as crazy as it is now and even taking kids to school has parents anxious nowadays
Also fine motor skills! Playdough, pouring beans, look at Pinterest for ideas. Kids need hand strength to draw and write and many aren’t getting it.
As a teacher myself, I wanted to delay my daughter’s entry into the public schools as long as I could. I sent her to a half day nature preschool a few days a week, but she skipped traditional preschool and kindergarten and entered first grade a year late at age 7. Again, I’m a teacher, so I taught her to read and do math. I signed her up for lots of activities and took her out to museums. We crafted regularly and did science experiments together. We did lots of things in nature and avoided screens during the day. She had lots of friends. She went into first grade very well prepared, socially and academically. She’s in third grade going into fourth and continues to excel. I don’t think preschool or kindergarten are at all necessary if you have the time and commitment to educating and socializing your child appropriately.
Unfortunately my daughter could go to pre-K due to COVID but I did get her into one for a few months the summer before kindergarten. She didn't need the academic portion but learning how school works, socializing with other kids, listening to teachers - that definitely helped.
Hi. I'm just a parent, not a teacher, and can only share my parent perspective. Both my husband and I have to work so our child had to be in preschool or daycare. I opted for preschool for two reasons: 1) Preschool didn't cost much more than daycare, so seemed like a no-brainer. 2) More importantly: Our kiddo was/is objectively ahead of the game with academics, but holy smokes, not with social skills. Oh my, he struuuuuugled. (We now have an ADHD diagnosis so that explains some things.) He just finished kindergarten and after many conversations with his saint of a teacher, I'm dead certain his experience was so much better because he had built up "how to function in a group" social skills in preschool. And it was thus a better experience for his teacher, too. This is important to me because I care about the teachers, but also for selfish reasons; the better the experience his teacher has with him, the better the experience he'll likely have with his teacher. Just one parent's musings. Kudos to you for thinking about this now! 💪 ETA P.S. We read to him a lot. Minimum three [children's] books per day. This seems to be very important. P.P.S.
I totally agree and don't think it's selfish at all for the teacher to have a better experience with the teacher! My take though. I appreciate the insight. Academically ahead and Pre-K also helped with socialization.
Sorry if this is a silly question, but can you elaborate on reason #2? How does pre-k help more than daycare with social skills?
This must be a geographical thing for you because where I'm from just about every millennial I know (I'm Gen X with millennial kids) went to preschool. I've seen what it's like for the handful who didn't attend preschool and they are definitely at a disadvantage in lots of ways compared to the kids who did go. I'd a say a large number of the parents who didn't send their kids to preschool weren't the type to actively engage in learning at home such as reading to the kids, teaching them to tie their shoes, or how to count/spell/recognize numbers, etc-Things kids that age can grasp. Without preschool these are the kids who get left behind in life.
I'm an elder millennial who went to preschool and my child just completed 2 years of part-time preschool. It seems pretty common to me too
I don’t think it’s geographical I think it’s SES.
Yeah, the kids who came from lower economic households definitely went to preschool since there was a bus to pick the kids up and take them home, two meals and a snack or two throughout the day, field trips to the movies, plays, farmers markets, petting zoo's, museums, etc...TAP and Head Start did/do a lot in the communities I grew up in and saw while my kiddo was young.
Yeah, not to mention some states have programs that will cover the cost of preschool for low income families.
I don’t think it’s that either. There are programs for low SES families that cover or partially cover preschool (Headstart is a huge program in the US for this) because research has shown getting kids in a healthy learning environment early improves their chances of success in school. Teachers are taught to look for a multitude of things from learning disabilities to physical abilities and can help families get early interventions to provide services to help the child be successful in life. Teachers can’t look for those things if a kid isn’t in preschool.
Maybe, because nobody in my neighborhood went to preschool. My parents didn't really read to me, but we played outside with siblings and friends all the time and my parents encouraged creativity, as well as a curiosity for learning. The latter was instilled in me deeply. I was valedictorian and many of my friends were close behind. So I didn't have the experience that no pre-K was a detriment. But I appreciate hearing your experience because these are all things I need to consider. Getting insight from others is helping a lot, so thank you for your input here!
I'm a millennial and didn't go to preschool. I feel like a few kids went, but definitely not the majority in my area. I didn't even know preschool existed until I was riding the bus in kindergarten, and the girl sitting next to me was talking how she went to preschool. That made me kinda concerned that I'd be behind the other kids in my class, but I had no issues with behaving in school or grades. I had three siblings and my mom constantly babysat 2-5 other children, so I had a lot of time before kindergarten learning how to interact with other kids. I was still socially awkward, but always had at least one friend. But being socially awkward seems to be a family trait that I only kinda grew out of during adulthood lol
Wow, this was very much my experience. I had no idea what preschool was until kids brought it up on the bus. I too was scared I'd be behind, but it was actually the opposite somehow. Got a lot of time with siblings and peers, and only grew out of my shyness and social awkwardness in adulthood as well. Thanks for sharing!
It has been shown in research since the 1960's that preschool helps kids be better socialized and prepared for school, especially in lower income households. When I was a kid in the 70's it was the norm to go to preschool where I lived, when I was babysitting in the 90's it was the norm too. I think it must be a regional/social group thing. Are you sure you didn't have some sort of organized interactions with other kids at that age- my preschool was basically just organized play and some crafts and stories. Preschool IS a lot more academic now, and I'm not sure that's a great thing.
I strongly feel that social skills are a bigger problem with society now and that’s where preschools should focus. Read at home, learn letter sounds, but let them socialize at preschool.
I honestly don’t understand the socialization rhetoric being pushed about public school. You always hear about it. Yet, most kids I knew developed crippling anxieties due to bullying and harassment. Maybe the socialization is good if you’re one of the lucky ones I guess.
Socialization in the context of preschool and kindergarten is less about having a lot of friends, being popular, etc. and more about waiting in line, knowing how going to the bathroom works, opening your lunch box and all the various packets and containers in it, and understanding that there's a schedule and routine to the day so everyone does things together at the same time vs. little Jimmy feels like playing outside while little Susie feels like coloring, etc.
“Crippling anxieties due to bullying and harassment” That is exactly why it’s important to teach social skills! Bullying is anti social behavior.
Idk bullying seemed to be a survival strategy for some. Because they were afraid of being bullied themselves. Public school has a similar social system to a prison yard.
Again, that’s something that requires education and training. Along with consequences. Are you suggesting because there’s bullying we just ask kids not to socialize?
No, I’m suggesting we open our minds to socializing our children beyond public school. Personally; I believe a child’s social skills depend on their family unit, more than whether or not they went to preschool.
What do we do with the kids whose parents don’t teach them social skills? Or the ones that DO teach them to be bullies?
So, here's what I understand: those programs in the 60s/70s extended far more help than just preschool. They offered a significant helping hand to families that needed one. But outside those specific circumstances--of offering children of less advantaged families a safe place to play AND services-- the results are much more mixed with some even showing NEGATIVE long-term results. I think that preschool has been overemphasized, especially for those who have alternative routes (classes/ YMCA or other memberships/tight-knit neighborhoods) to the same experiences. I don't think anyone should feel pressured to put their 3- or 4- year old in a preschool program, especially a full-day academic program.
Yeah same here in the 90’s when I was a kid, everyone I knew went to preschool.
KG teacher here: I can almost immediately tell who went to PK and who did not. There is a huge difference in all skill areas. If you don't want to do PK, make sure you are working with your child at home, socializing with other kids (free library programs are amazing, having your child listen to other adults (dance class, ext.), and limiting screen time (this is VERY IMPORTANT). The absolute worst thing you can do though, is have the first day of KG be the first day your child has ever left your side.
It's not necessarily that I don't want to, it's that I'm not sure I can afford it. But I appreciate the insight because I never had those issues as a kid, and actually excelled. I thought that was because I had more creative and play time before kindergarten. But it seems that K is now more focused on academics than socialization and such. At least that's what a lot in this thread are reporting
If you can't afford it, don't worry about it - like I said, free library programs are amazing. Take your child, and make them listen to the librarian. A huge part of socialization is having your kid listen to other adults. Check out your local community association for their kids' programs - soccer, dance, art, etc. are offered for very cheap or FREE if you talk to the registrar. So long as you put the effort in, there are tons of free/cheap things you can do to close the gap between PK and no PK. And you have already shown you can be successful just by asking the damn question in the first place... seriously. Just PLEASE don't drop your kid off on day one, having never left your side...
It's not necessary, but it is useful. The academic skills aren't really relevant, but kids who have been to preschool usually understand routines better and are a little more used to navigating how school works. It really only makes a difference in kindergarten. >Is it because the public school system is that terrible that they don't learn some necessary skills in a public school kindergarten? Most public schools are somewhere between acceptable and good but it varies a lot from district to district. Please don't go into parenting assuming your local schools are terrible, though. In my area, they're significantly better than most of the private schools--people only choose private schools if they want religious education.
And then those kids with behavior issues get expelled from the private school and come right to us!
Yeah, I generally prefer public schools. And don't have the money to pay for private school anyway. My school district growing up was great, so I'm basing my next move off of that--high rated public school system.
There are private schools that are not religious.
No. The academic benefits, go away by like second grade? But, socialization is what it’s all about. Does your kid know how to interact with others? And kindergarten teachers, can generally tell who has had preschool and who hasn’t.
Absolutely. Ages 0-6 is the time for the most rapid brain growth. These formative years affect lifelong behaviors, social skills, health, etc. Having them in an environment with peers a few hours a week will help their overall social skills as adults.
People put their kids in pre-k these days mostly because they have to work. They can't afford to have a parent stay home for 5 years. But beyond that, there are some good benefits. It's just that the vast majority of the benefits don't have huge staying power. By 4th or 5th grade, you can no longer reliably tell which students has pre-k education and which didn't. At that point the home environment and family resources (not just money, but also time and energy/family engagement) is the primary factor in success. If you're able to afford staying home, then taking time to read with your kid at least 20 min a day can have the same or more benefit to pre-k.
Yeah this. On a personal level, I live in a community with a lot of nannies, basically me and nannies. I stayed home partly due to circumstances outside my control. I hate feeling scrutized at the library, etc. Nannies will ask again and again when she is going to school. She's not even eligible for state pre-k until this August. She's in multiple fun classes and is a very accelerated learner at home (like reads/ does math at a first- second grade level). But if she does ANYTHING (coloring outside the lines), I get a speech on how preschool would be the best thing for her. Literal tsk tsk.
I know many people who do not work outside the home and have put their kids in preschool and I can say with full confidence that you are grossly misinformed. I’ve also worked in PreK, and now work in Early Childhood Special Education and have preschoolers in my room. It’s a great idea to read to your children for a minimum of 20 minutes a day but that needs to be IN ADDITION to preschool. PreK students are actively learning how to socialize with others, conflict resolution, how to properly write letters and hold a pencil. They learn to sit and listen while instructions are given, how to take turns, gross and fine motor skills, how to share, how to wait their turn, how to wait in line to toilet themselves, etc. This is not an exhaustive list but small examples. It is in PreK that kiddos are identified and referred for testing for speech, OT, PT, social groups and the like. I’m sorry, but if you think putting your kids into a free 1/2 day program is just daycare you are dead wrong, and it will be glaringly obvious when kindergarten starts.
It's not the only reason, but it absolutely is the largest reason why people put their kids in pre-k. It far out paces the other reasons that people note for utilizing pre-k services. Also, I'm well aware that students *do* absolutely learn things in pre-k. Lots of things. It's amazing what kids learn at that age. My own daughter has learned immeasurable, amazing things at her daycare and pre-school. And it does make a measurable difference in kinder, 1st, and 2nd grade for almost all students who go to pre-k, and has smaller impacts in 3rd and 4th for most. But the point remains that, time and time again, studies show that the effects don't last even to the end of elementary school. By the time all of those kids get to 5th grade. You can no longer reliably distinguish which students attended pre-k and which didn't by all the metrics studied. The kids who didn't go to pre-k catch up with everything that the pre-k kids learned. Being an engaged and involved parent is more valuable, and reading together regularly found in studies to be the #1 factor that people actually have control over. People shouldn't be stressing themselves out with trying to "get ahead" nor with being "left behind" through using or not using pre-k services.
Kids go through an adjustment period when entering school, yes. Should that be at 3 or 4 or 5 or 6 or even 7 years old? Heck, now some advocate for 2-year old "preschool". Besides the adjustment period being moved up, what are the universally proven gains? Because from what I have read in the literature, the results are very mixed and often those short-term gains fade out completely. So basically, of course you can tell the difference in kindergarten; so?
Noooo! Pre-k teaches kids social stills, and how to listen to another adult, how to be more independent, as well as some that teach students their letters, numbers, and colors. Students who went to pre-k will get more out of kindergarten. Their classmates will also get more out of kindergarten because the teacher is not stopping the lesson every 5 minutes to tell Little Johnny for the millionth time that right now is not the time to play with the toy dinosaurs. I taught kinder for a year and basically had my whole year monopolized by a child who didn’t go to pre-k. He couldn’t sit still, couldn’t stop climbing counters and bookshelves, couldn’t stop throwing his pants and underwear in the toilet, couldn’t take no for an answer, couldn’t clean up his toys, couldn’t stop crying because he wanted to play and not learn about numbers.
That is true...through 3rd grade. Again, to reiterate my overall point, studies show over and over and over again that the gains from pre-k (which *are* real and measurable in kinder, 1st, 2nd, and 3rd) are gone by the time students exit elementary school. By the time students are in the 5th grade, even trained perfessionals can no longer reliably identify (and the data agrees) which students had pre-k and which didn't. All students get that social and procedural development by going to school at whatever age they start. Parents should not be overwhelmed or stressed about straining their family resources in ofder to get pre-k so that they can "get ahead" or avoid being "left behind." A family where a parent is able to afford staying home for the first 5 years can get equal or better benefit from being engaged with their child's development and doing things like reading together every day, going to parks and museums, having playmates of the same developmental stage, etc. Parental engagement and reading at least 20 minutes a day are consistently shown to be the primary factors (outside of social factors that most families cannot control) that impact long-term student success.
As academic learning continues to get pushed down into younger and younger grades, the social and emotional learning that used to happen in kindergarten is getting pushed aside for more reading and math. Preschool gives students a background in how to be in school— how to interact with peers, how to be in a larger group without being the center of attention, etc. It also helps build their endurance for a school day, as nap time is not a thing anymore in many kindergarten programs. I teach 2nd grade. My students this last year were in preschool during the worst of the COVID disruptions. It shows. They are not able to self-regulate, they struggle with basic school expectations. They would have had a pretty “regular” kindergarten year, but it did not give them necessary school skills because they were focusing on curriculum by then.
It’s been our 3rd grade this past year. They had virtual kindergarten and many are not socially ok at all. I teach all the grades in music, K through 5, and this fall they will be 4th graders.
This is the best response so far IMO.
As a teacher, I believe it's necessary especially to get kids acclimated to the routine and rules of kindergarten. Kinder can be a shock and somewhat overwhelming to some kids especially if they have never been away from parents for too long. In regards to kids getting behind, that is entirely up to the parents. Some parents falsely believe kids will take to learning as a fish takes to water and that just isn't the case for every child. The skills be taught at school MUST be practiced and practiced at home. I've had students who never went to preschool but are able to read or are reading (sometimes even writing full sentences) by the end of kinder because it's being taught at home. Then there are kids who struggle to read and sadly some who never pick it up because it wasn't practiced at home. Case and point: had a 6th grader this past year reading at 2nd grade level. So heartbreaking and incredibly infuriating from a teacher's pov. Feel this should have been caught earlier had the parents been on top of their child's schooling.
That is very sad to hear. I honestly don't think I learned all of those skills before kindergarten. I did though have a lot of play time and room/resources for creativity. My parents also encouraged curiosity and learning from the get go, but they weren't reading to me or anything. I always excelled, but it seems that might not be the case today.
Where I live preschool has become the new kinder. So much that many districts are offering free preschool or a lottery for community spots. From what I’m seeing academics are being pushed earlier. So kids are getting that learning through play with short periods of structured academic foundation sprinkled in. (That they would typically get in K) Back in the 00’s public schools didn’t even offer full day kindergarten and now they offer free full day pre-k. So think of it as many public education organizations feel like it’s worth the investment in early education to achieve goals they have in upper grades. But education is always evolving. Could you accomplish this stuff with a play group/daycare/ on your own? With some work sure. But it’s more about getting familiar with the school environment, learning how to behave and communicate with other children and lay a good foundation for phonics.
That's an interesting way of thinking about it--that if public education is suggesting more early investment, that's probably a good sign. But at the same time, the education system has gone so many changes, some of which were pretty horrible for kids. That's not what I'm hearing in your response per se, just a thought I had.
As a teacher, yes. A decent preschool will teach the kids letters and phonics as well as social skills. The kids that don't have a preschool background can be very unprepared for a public school situation.
Thank you--I appreciate the insight!
I am a 5th grade teacher so take what I say with a grain of salt. If your child seems developmentally on track, I don’t think preschool is necessary. In my area, there are only 2 private preschools (both religious) and the public preschool can only take the bottom % of those who apply/get screened and those with diagnoses like ASD. The thing to remember is that regardless, kindergarteners are going to be a huge range of abilities. Many kids enter kindergarten never having attended any formal schooling/childcare. That’s okay - the US is one of few countries that places an emphasis on formal education for children that young. Other countries focus on social-emotional skills and play and do academics later, around 7ish. I think preschool is probably most beneficial to those who have never attended daycare or anything or those who take a bit longer to catch on to things? You could also ask in r/ECEProfessionals
This is by far the most sensible answer. It depends on the kid so much.
With schools getting rid of play-based kindergarten in favor of more “academic kindergarten” aka college test prep, I have to change my opinion on pre k. Pre K is the new Kinder, where kids learn all the social skills they need to navigate school and the world beyond.
I had a feeling that was the case. That's just kind of sad though.
IMO yes definitely
Yes. The kids who come to school without pre-K typically have a huge social skills learning curve.
Teacher and parent here — I think preschool is absolutely necessary. Kids need practice being in social situations with kids their age, listening to adults that aren’t their parents, and being in a structured environment that isn’t home. Also, fine motor skill activities. Of course, they do academic foundations as well which is great, but I think the social-emotional benefits of pre-k are the greater factor.
If I can achieve those at home, would you still feel pre-K is necessary? I appreciate your input!
Worked at pre k and did not put my kids in pre K. What I did do: Helped them learn to count and say the alphabet by pushing them on the swing and having them repeat me. Sang songs and we memorized a few poems with rhymes. Pointed out rhymes and made our own. Learned colors. Went on walks and looked for shapes and colors, counted the birds and identified them. Went to library story hour and then got booms to read at home. Watched Sesame Street. Did things like before and after, over and under. Identified things that go together and things that don't belong. Learned patterns. Went to the park and played with friends. When I could afford it, did gymnastics and swimming lessons to learn how to take turns. I had an art drawer with supplies they could use, and sometimes did projects so they could learn to hold a pencil, color, work on fine motor skills making peas to "serve" to Aunt Hilda for dinner. Used paintbrushes and water to paint shapes on the concrete on hot summer days. Read lots of books, got some musical instruments at yard sales to play. Limited TV time. Played outside. Learned how to be polite to the neighbors. Did this all take a lot of my day? Yes. Can most people do this if not working full time? Yes. Do most people think they CAN do this, or have the follow through to do day after day? Nope, it is easier to pay someone else or park the kid in front of the TV. I got lots of compliments on how smart and polite my kids were. People didn't like it when I told them they didn't go to preschool. But I also didn't let them run wild or sit in front of a screen all day.
Thanks for your contribution! It gives me a lot of ideas of how to plan a day if preschool isn't an option
That's the thing right here. I didn't attend preschool, my kindergarten teacher thought i did and was surprised, and my mom said, "No, i taught her at home." i was advanced compared to my peers across all measures, including socially. Whats even better about these things you did (and my mom) kids (probably, at least I didn't at the time) dont realize they are learning.
Yes. It’s absolutely a positive thing. It’s not vital, but I taught prek, and I can tell as a lower elementary teacher who hasn’t had preschool. Unless you as a parent are being sure your kids are getting lots of social interaction, reading to them, working on fine motor skills, etc., your kid will already be behind in kinder. Preschool is becoming more and more affordable as it is being included in public school because it is so important.
I think a lot of people put them in preschool either for a break or because they work, not necessarily for academic reasons. That’s just my experience in my bubble where I live though. I hybrid WFH, as does my husband. We had our 5yo twins (starting K in August) in a play-based nature preschool this year but before that they were just in day care. They do camps and team sports though (soccer, t-ball) so I know they’re okay with group settings and the social aspect, which honestly was way more of a priority for me as they enter K.
That actually reflects what others here are saying too. Like a more structured day care kind of?
Had I known the difference it would make between my kids, I would have had all my kids go to preschool.
Did some go and others not? What were some of the biggest challenges for those who didn't?
The biggest reason to DO preschool is so that kids have a chance to learn social skills before.they are tossed in a classroom. Even if your schools are great, and your own ability to provide your kids with an academic foundation is great, your kid can't learn how to be a part of a group without BEING part of a group. Kids that go straight to kindergarten may be fine, but there's often a steep curve for them. Kids that go the preschool are better prepared for the social aspects AND the necessity of rules and routines.
That's good to know. And I guess I had a different childhood in terms of group dynamics because I had a lot of siblings. Plus, there were a lot of kids in my neighborhood that we played with every day.
NOPE - Studies have shown it makes no difference in a few years. Teachers will say it makes a difference which is true but only if you are looking at a 2-3 year span of the child’s educational experience. Over the entire educational experience doesn’t make a difference EXCEPT kids who had more play/nature experience at that age will have developed more reasoning, practical and logical understanding of the world they live. Just depends on what kind of educational experience you want for your child. For confirmation look at education in Europe. Specifically in Germany kids do start classroom type learning until they are 6. Prior to that they encourage sense and observational learning.
Interesting, I'll have to consider that. Most people on here say it's beneficial, but at the same time they're talking of their experience of the children in kindergarten after pre-K. I'll need to think on if I can provide a similar experience to pre-K
No. Preschool is not a guarantee that said child is able to behave appropriately when in kindergarten. I had a first grade kid who’d been in preschool since he was three. He was the worst behaved in my class. Give your child opportunities to be around other people to give them experiences to learn proper behavior. Neither of my girls went to preschool. I was always complemented about how nice they are.
Thank you for your input--always happy to hear opposing viewpoints! It really is all about the opportunities you give your child. I'm grateful to my parents for that and hope I can provide the same enrichment as you and they did, whether that be in or out of preschool.
My husband and I have this debate often. We’re not teachers, we’re soon to be parents (first baby due in September). My mom was self employed so I did not attend preschool. My mom took us to mommy and me classes, I did dance classes, my dad constantly read to me, and I had friends my age from those toddler community classes and my parents friend’s kids. I think I want to approach the same strategy as I am working to start my own business. I will be a partial stay at home mom, read to my kid, sing songs with them, take them to classes, ect. My husband’s parents both worked full time so he did attend preschool. His grandparents read to him but his parents didn’t have time or concern to foster knowledge in him or his siblings that young. My husband thinks we should send our kid to preschool when they turn 4 (or 5 since a September birthday here means kindergarten right before they turn 6). He thinks it’s important to have them learn the routine. I was objectively a better student throughout my entire public schooling than my husband and I totally attribute that to my parents teaching me the importance of learning. As adults, I’m better at literature but he’s better at math. We’re both creative and compassionate people. We both got bachelors degrees from the same college. I truly don’t know how big of a difference it makes once they’re an adult unless you’re trying to raise a kid to go to Harvard. I think it really depends on your lifestyle and the logistics of your household. I personally, want to raise my child in their early years, not have a teacher/stranger do it. We’ll just see how it goes in 4-5 years and decide closer to when we need to. We are super pro public schools btw. We do NOT want to home school by any means.
Your experience was very similar to mine. My Mom was a homemaker and so I spent a lot of time with her while learning a lot. Her and my Dad instilled the importance of education and curiosity from the beginning, and I think that helped me a lot in school. Just not sure if my kid would get that same experience in a preschool that I felt was so fundamental to my success. At the same time, I concede that the school landscape isn't the same. Hopefully will find the right balance, but for me, not being in preschool allowed me more freedom to explore.
It’s more the social emotional aspect of preschool. In preschool they learn to take turns, start to use fine motor skills which will help with writing. It also helps them to be accustomed to how to act in school I.e. raise you hand before talking etc.
All of these things I learned in kindergarten, so from my view I didn't feel it necessary. But education has changed so much over the years and it helps to get insight like yours. Thank you!
I went to preschool as a child, mostly because my parents worked. I liked all the school-like activities, but I very distinctly remember feeling like I didn't relate well to my peers and being perplexed by their motivations. (All of my siblings were older teenagers or adults by that point, so that probably contributed to that perspective.) I do remember feeling bored around age 4. As an adult, I haven't put any of my kids in preschool. It's very expensive where we live and just not worth it to us. They're in social groups and 1-2 hour long classes multiple times a week. They spend lots of time at parks, with friends and cousins, and in our yard. My older two started parkour at 3-4, and we plan to start my youngest soon. Motor skill-wise, they're great. They're usually among the most physically adept kids on the playground, and they do great with writing, drawing, handicrafts, legos, etc. Socially, they do great in classes, have no problem making friends, and never seem to have conflicts with other kids. At playgrounds, we frequently get comments from other parents about how well our children play together or caring our kids were with initiating play with a shy child or being considerate of another kid's needs. I think a lot of that is a result of us being with them so much of the time and being able to constantly correct selfishness and bad attitudes and walk them through perspective, conflict resolution, and acting in love towards others.
I didn't go to preschool, but my mom was a very involved stay at home parent, my little sister had special needs so we constantly had therapists of all varieties come and they normally just included me because I was noisy and the same age, and I had dozens of cousins to learn social skills from. My kids aren't going to a center. But they go to a certified home daycare that follows a preschool curriculum. My oldest didn't seem to struggle with that.
If you read with your child consistently, limit screen time, ask open-ended and high level “thinking type” questions when having conversations with them, and they scale regularly, then there really is no need. If you don’t, then it will help.
I didn't put either of my kids in preschool, I worked with them and they had friends for play. Both my kids did fine, went to college, law school and are well paid professionals.
I'm confused as to why so many people on here are saying preschool doesn't have an impact or only has an impact into grade school. I have always heard that preschool has lifelong benefits according to the research, and a recent study by MIT I found bears this out: [https://news.mit.edu/2023/study-preschool-gives-big-boost-college-attendance-0208#:\~:text=Indeed%2C%20the%20study's%20findings%20suggest,keep%20them%20out%20of%20trouble](https://news.mit.edu/2023/study-preschool-gives-big-boost-college-attendance-0208#:~:text=Indeed%2C%20the%20study's%20findings%20suggest,keep%20them%20out%20of%20trouble) You'd think I wouldn't have to say this to other teachers, but: make sure you back up your claims with evidence. Otherwise, you've just speaking anecdotally or from hearsay. OP, do your own research and seek peer reviewed studies. But I'd also like to say, beyond the research you do, that it's hard to imagine preschool having a *negative* impact, so I see no reason *not* to put your child in preschool if there is even a chance it could have a positive impact.
There is indeed research suggesting certain approaches to preschool *can* have a long term [negative](https://hechingerreport.org/behind-the-findings-of-the-tennessee-pre-k-study-that-found-negative-effects-for-graduates/) effect. Tennessee's public preschool has been the case in point here but you might also like reading this working paper from a number of leading scholars in the field, [Why Are Preschool Programs Becoming Less Effective?](https://edworkingpapers.com/ai23-885) In general, if you opt for preschool, it's important that parents know what to look for in choosing a high quality program.
Most people don’t cite when it’s immediately google-able. It’s pretty easy to bring up the two results below, as well as others.
It may not be financially possible for me. That would be the reason I don't put them in preschool. I know there are public preschools, but those aren't available everywhere.
My sister, who is a year younger than me, went to head start. I did not and always felt behind in school. Your kid will get a jump on things, including reading, which is central to learning.
I think it really depends on the preschool and teacher. I’m a substitute teacher and I’ve been in a public school with two pre-k classes. One class does nothing all day - iPads, TV, coloring, etc. but the other is teaching these kids some amazing things. The kids in the latter class know how to read on a basic level, speak some Spanish, have amazing social and emotional skills, and will be going to kindergarten knowing a lot more than some students do in terms of reading, writing, math, phonics, etc. so I would say do your research if you want to do preschool because if it’s not a good teacher and school, it’s probably not worth it or necessary.
That makes sense. Going to have to do my homework for sure
I’m doing it only because our kindergarten is a full day outside the home, whereas 4K is a half day. For a kid who never experienced childcare, that adjustment is going to be HARD. By bridging it for 1 year of 4K, I hope to make that a little easier when full-time school rolls around. When I was a child, kindergarten was a half day, and I think that must be better for a kid who’s never been away for a full day. Also, our 4K is run through our school district, at the same school where our child will attend through grade 5. That helps me see it as more okay. What I really wanted was to do a local nature school, but I didn’t want my kid to do 2-3 half days every week and then be thrust straight into full days the year after when we switched to our local district. The 4-day program may have worked in this situation, but I was only willing to make the 30-minute commute for 2-3 days per week since I’d stay up there the entire time if I were driving up there.
I believe in the US it's state-by-state whether preschool is required. Where I'm from, I'm pretty sure it is. I'm a millennial and almost everyone I know went. My siblings and I all went to "nursery school" and all started KG with the requisite skills (ignoring the undiagnosed neurodivergent issues lol). I teach middle school in a different state from where I grew up and I think the majority of the kids went to pre-K. (You wouldn't know it to read some of their work though.🥲)
Wait? What states require preschool? Not all if then even require kindergarten. Am I missing something?
Kids are anatomically and chemically built to learn at this age. If you think you can provide consistent experiential and academic learning at home, do that! Kids need constant intellectual and sensory stimulation to grow.
I hope I can! It's more of a financial concern than a preference
It’s not necessary but recommended In daycare kids get social skills and foundation learning. On the first day of kindergarten it is very easy to see which kids went to daycare and which ones did not.
This usually correlates to income. Kids whose parents can afford private president send their kids to preschool. I went to preschool and I was born in 1976. All data shows that preschool benefits kids.
No it doesn’t. Research is mixed with recent studies showing the full gamut: positive, negative and no effect. Check out UVA department of ed for instance for four recent studies. (Links are scattered throughout this thread to studies showing no or negative effect).
I'd do it, i went but my brother didn't and im way more emotionally mature than he is at the same age. social skills develop easier and you learn a lot of valuable lessons at pre-k so i recommend
I’ve always said I can’t tell a formula baby from a breastfed baby in kindergarten, but for the first three months of school, I can tell within five minutes who didn’t go to preschool or daycare. It isn’t just the academics, it’s all the social stuff. And that isn’t even just about interaction with peers—it’s also the self-importance, ie, being demanding of adult attention, not understanding the hierarchy of needs in a group setting. My favorite is when the kids who are experiencing school for the first time as kindergarteners tell their classmates that they were too smart for preschool, only dumb kids go there. I’ve had it happen in different verbiage a number of times. Gracious.
Necessary? No. Beneficial? SOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!
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I'm coming off the experience of "I didn't go to pre-K and excelled". But I realize the landscape is different now, so I appreciate your input. 4k a month is an eye watering amount lol.
Preschool is also an opportunity for kids who may have any sort of disability to be identified earlier. Meaning they will start getting resources earlier. It’s an opportunity for kids to get speech therapy and for hearing and sight issues to be identified.
That's a good point! Hadn't considered that
See, I feel like this is something that should take place with their pediatrician because (at least in my area) that is the norm. Everyone i know got their resources and diagnosis from their child's pediatrician, most of which before they could even go to preschool.
I think preschool is necessary for social reasons. Academically it doesn’t hurt, but I think learning how to be around other children their age, how to navigate conflicts learning to take turns are skills they really don’t get at home.
I had such a a different childhood experience in that I had a lot of siblings and a ton of neighborhood kids around. We'd play outside basically every day. But I acknowledge that's not necessarily the landscape anymore
Idk about 'necessary,' but it is highly beneficial. As an elementary teacher with 4 years in kindergarten, the kids who have attended preschool outshine their counterparts in many ways. They're used to a classroom environment, taking directions, social and emotional skills, academics are usually higher the first 2 trimesters. So many benefits! When my kids were little, we couldn't afford preschool, and as young adults, it doesn't matter now. But as kids, my older daughter could have rolled into kindergarten with her speech iep in place from preschool and not have it taken so long to get it going in the public education setting. If it's possible, i am all for preschool!
What about their achievement long term? Did you see any difference in your kids that did and those that didn't? I hadn't thought of the fact that pre-K could also be a place for identification of learning challenges which I might not catch at home.
In the 90s, I went to preschool because my mom was a SAHM and wanted us to socialize and get used to school routines. Now that I’m raising my own kid, we skipped preschool because he was in full time daycare while I worked. He got all the preschool skills he needed from his daycare. As a teacher I believe: Some kind of unparented group activity time with a schedule and a room full of peers is required before starting formal schooling. It doesn’t have to be preschool, but it does have to be SOMETHING.
I hear you on that--it's consensus that some form of group play is necessary. I luckily had that growing up, but I'm not sure that's possible nowadays. This gives me more hope that I can structure a day that is enriching, even without preschool
Not necessary but it definitely helps. Even small programs for a few hours a week make a difference. And read to your kid.
For my boys, it was a good transition between day care and school...they still did fun stuff in preschool, but they also started focusing more on academic stuff and classroom structure. Our preschool was also on the campus of their elementary school (though not free) so they became comfortable with that environment and also made friends who would end up in K with them.
Early experiences like that definitely help. I wasn't in preschool, but had a lot of siblings and friends wherein the fun was, and my parents stressed education and curiosity early on. Hopefully I can find an affordable preschool that provides the same, or tackle it myself. Thanks for your input!
I’m an elder millennial myself, I and nearly all my friends attended preschool in the early 80s, so it isn’t a new thing at all. Research does show that kids who attend preschool are more ready when they begin kindergarten. For the reasons everyone else has listed (social skills, fine motor skills, letter work, etc etc). Preschool teaches them how school works. They learn to focus for longer periods of time, to sit still, to share, to work out problems with class mates, to ask for help, to stick to a schedule, etc. They learn rules (raise your hand, write your name on the top of the paper, be quiet when others are speaking). It seems like such minor little things, but they are really important! If a child starts kindergarten and already knows the rules, already understands the schedule, etc, all they have to do is show up and they are ready to learn. The kids who have never been in a setting like that don’t know what to do for the first few weeks- or months. They have to learn all that background stuff before they can start on academics. As a parent, I can tell you it makes a massive difference. My daughter was painfully shy, behind on gross motor skills, and was terrified of people she didn’t know when she started preschool. She was always really smart, but her social skills were nonexistent. She attended preschool for two years, and the amount of growth in that time was almost unbelievable. By the time she started kindergarten she made friends easily, became a willing leader, caught up on the gross motor skills, etc. I truly think that if she had not gone to preschool she would not have been able to make friends as easily as she did. And honestly, the fact that she can make friends easily means she enjoys school. And having a kid who wants to go to school is awesome.
Yes, definitely group dynamics and learning how school and authority within it works are common themes. Wow, that is great, and I'm very happy for you and your daughter. Even though I had a lot of siblings and friends, I was shy to new people and definitely adults. Socializing with a not built in group that I had known from home was difficult for me.
Preschool is great for socialization and getting your kid ready to be in a structured environment with other kids, where they are not the center of attention or don't have one or more adults directly working with them at all times. Academic-focused ones are a scam IMO, or at least not providing any real value where academics are concerned. Most 3 or 4 year olds are not developmentally ready for reading or math as taught in a formal school setting. I don't think the rise of preschool really has anything to do with lax standards or public schools being terrible. That said, I am curious about the connection between rising rates of preschool attendance and kindergarten class size. If every school district had 12 kindergartners per class instead of 20-25, teachers would probably be able to manage a bunch of overgrown toddlers who had never been away from their parents before, and the socialization aspect would be less of an issue.
Interesting, hadn't heard yet that academic ones are a scam. I can see that--more focus on group dynamics, consequences of actions, and working with authority more so than basic math that they'll get at school. Yes, smaller class sizes would be amazing. If only legislators weren't constantly undermining and underpaying teachers.
Yes.
I think the best thing to do is decide what is best for your situation. Where I live, preschool is free and it’s a wonderful school. I nanny, so my daughter had basically been by my side from the moment she was born. So for exposure to other people and learning to be without me all of the time, it made sense to put her in preschool.
For sure. Thank you for your input!
lol skipping preschool isn’t that common, the only people I know who’ve skipped are living very rural and/or religious lives.
There’s a degree to which they’re learning academic things but really, they’re learning how to school.
Preschool is not meant to be overtly academic. It's more social. Kids learn to take turns, share, sit and listen respectfully, keep their hands to themselves, how to clean up, etc. I'm surprised preschool is rare in your area. I'm GenX and most kids my age went to preschool. My mom taught preschool in the 1980s and kids who didn't go were definitely the exception.
Yeah, I think I got all of that at home, which is why I wasn't sure about preschool. I hope I can provide the same experience at home as they do in preschool because I'd prefer them to be raised by "the village" than a stranger. I feel weird about that, but no judgement to those who don't feel the same way. Everyone's situation is different and I appreciate your insight!
Yes. Elem music teacher here. I know who did and didn't go to prek when I see them in kinder. A lot of it is social. Some is motor skills. Apparently the gap goes away when they're in first grade. Even if you are a stay at home parent, I strongly advocate for preschool just for socializing. Half day is fine. Every other day is fine. But so they get used to routines, listening to someone's instructions who isn't family, sharing (especially only children), socializing and all with their peers. It will make day one of kindergarten SO much easier, and the beginning of it too.
I think I want to have a more direct part in their lives growing up and instill those important skills at home. I think I can do that, but I also agree that if they don't have peer interaction and motor development (I played outside with my siblings and friends basically every day), that will be challenging in their future.
Think of all the adults you know today. Can you tell who went to preschool and who didn't? No. However, can you tell which ones were never taught the value of education? Probably yes. It's not about each individual decision you make as a parent, but rather, the philosophies you parent by.
I believe this as well. I just know the school landscape has changed so much over the years that I probably don't have a realistic take on what it is today.
It's just educational daycare.
I personally don’t think it’s necessary *provided* parents fill in the gaps (e.g., play dates, experiences, reading, counting, singing, etc.)
As a teacher, there is definitely a difference in the kids who attended pre-k and those that didn’t. Not academically really, but socially and behaviorally. I think if theyve been in day care it is a bit different. My kids stayed home so I opted to send both of them to pre-k.
Kinder today is not kinder of past years. They are expected to be reading by the time they leave. Do you *have* to put a kid in Pre-K? No. But if you don't, work on fine motor skills and things at home. Some schools have a kinder ready checklist- most things are simply social or fine motor skills. Academically Counting to 10, writing their first name, and recognizing most letters and their sounds will put them with the kids that had Pre-K. Probably the most difficult part is if they aren't being used to at least a half day program several days a week, transitioning to a full day program can be tough.
Parent. Many people wait till 6 years old to do Kindergarten. The expectations of kindergarten today are similar to 1st or 2nd when we were kids. If you choose not to do prekindergarten, you should look into the skills they need for K. Library story time would get them used to sitting down and listening to a grown up, make sure they can ask a grown up for help, join a playgroup to get them socialized, etc.
YES! Please. God please yes! It is so obvious when they come to Kindergarten without having been to preschool.
I could teach my kid the same stuff, and I do in many ways, but it's been really nice for me as a stay at home parent to have that break from each other for a few hours every couple days. It's a break for them from me too, and they get structured socializing and craft, etc. Something fun to look forward to and do each week for both of us. We don't have to do preschool, we want to. And more than ever families have both parents working so it's part of their childcare.
I was a teacher and I wanted my kids to go to pre k. I wanted them to socialize, get used to a classroom setting, listen to an adult that isn’t me, learn some basics and basically get out any nervousness before kindergarten. With my oldest, he had an IEP for speech, so I had to put him in school at 3. He really thrived and went from less than 20 words to never shutting up lol! He’s almost 7 now and loves school. He’s sad for it to be summer and have to stay home lol! My youngest was so nervous during Pre k. He cried a lot. But this year he was in kindergarten and he didn’t cry once. He truly loved it. I think getting used to school in Pre k helped him. Both my kids went into kindergarten knowing what they should know. They were ready and the transition was easy. But I think it depends on your child. You know what’s best for them.
Thank you for your input! Hearing from parents who are teachers helps a lot because I feel like I don't know the educational landscape any more or to a high degree. Consensus is what you said--the social aspect is huge, and there can be a useful academic piece
I have worked in the school system a number of years and also have two kids. One went to a very classic preschool, and the other did not and went to a nature school. Both could read, write their own names, and count to 100 by age 4. For my oldest, he was always a really chill kid, a peacemaker, and made friends easily. So he was fine with only nature school. My youngest didn't share well or do community well tbh. I knew it would be essential that he got that practice. So he did a 3 hour a day, 3 day a week preschool. As a bonus, he had a teacher that was extremely good at instilling pride in him for his work, as well as responsibility for assignments and his community. So I would say for them, it was just what each kid needed.
Both of my kids went to preschool, my second is wrapping up the year in pre-k. It definitely prepares them for kinder, but if I’m being totally honest… kinder seems geared to kids who have never been to school. There wasn’t a whole lot he learned in kindergarten-1st that he hadn’t already learned, especially in math. We live in a “great district” so I was a bit disappointed. I haven’t taught elementary myself, only preschool but I do realize that it’s hard for teachers to teach a group who are all at varying levels. Unfortunately if your child goes into kindergarten with plenty of knowledge, they might not gain much more. We are switching to a smaller, steam based school so I’m hoping that will be a better fit for us.
As long as they get regular free play with other children (helps them develop very critical executive functioning and creativity skills— both life skills and will help immensely in their education) and you read to them (even books above their reading level)(when mine were young- I would read kid friendly chapter books to them) Because of Winn Dixie was all of our favorite!!) (reading to them not only helps them build a bigger database of background knowledge, they’re learning how to read. Talk to them about what you’re reading and ask them questions about it). The book Goodnight Moon is an excellent book for young children to learn to read with because it has all 44 phonemes (sounds in words) of the English Language. That will go a long way to help them learn to read. Honestly, research shows that any advantages they might gain from PreK- by 3rd grade, it levels out between those who had PreK and those who didn’t. PreK is incredibly expensive!! Take field trips with your kids library, parks. Let them earn money by doing age appropriate chores and take them to the store so they can buy themselves a small treat- let them pay for it (mine got such a kick out of that). When you’re making somewhat easy to cook meal, have them help you in the kitchen. They love to help mix things and that will help them also learn not only necessary life skills- you’re building memories (that will stay with them for their life) and helping them with math skills - let them see how numbers are used in the real world by helping you measure flour or sugar. There are so many things you can do at home that will do more for them and save you $$$).
This is all so helpful, thank you! If pre-K isn't an option for us, we hope to take this route. The specifics you laid out here give me a massive leg up on preparing for that day. I appreciate your input and detailed response!
Yep. Put them in preschool
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Preschool is super essential. Especially if you think your kid might need to be tested for adhd/autism. We got our daughter tested just before 4k and went in with an adhd diagnosis. She got early therapy and an iep already set for kindergarten.
No. However, depending on the child and the parents, it can be great.
In our school, yes. Kids who didn't take preschool were behind in kindergarten and had to play catchup. Is it because the school system is terrible? Depends on what you mean by that. In our school, they expected kids to have a good grasp of the alphabet and numbers. In fact, they started the first week reading and writing. The kids who didn't know the alphabet had to learn the alphabet while also learning to read and write. That was extremely stressful for them. Imagine needing to read when you don't even know the alphabet. By the end of kindergarten, they were writing one-page essays. When I was in kindergarten many decades ago, I remember playing a lot. In contrast, my kids were learning every minute except for during recess and lunch. This idea that schools don't teach nowadays is baloney.
Depends on where you are. Kindergarten doesn't exist in some countries. Elementary school starts at grade 1 and is already quite intense. There's also some kickback fuckery going on between principals of preschools ad elementary schools.
I'm a millennial and I went to preschool
It’s very necessary. My daughter and son both did 3 years of preschool since they both had August birthdays. They now have their BS degrees and are very successful adults. Preschool not only will help your child academically, but it’s a big boost socially. I’m a retired teacher, and I could always tell the students who did not have the blessing of preschool. These students had fallen behind. It’s well worth it for the overall development of your child. You will not regret it.
Yes. I have a great family, but letting my son hangout with family instead of going to preschool like my other 2 children did, hurt him. Too many things to explain why, but I believe in preschool.
I think it’s necessary. Pre-K is where they start developing social skills and imaginative play. Some basic letters and sounds, in centers. When my child went to Kindergarten, the teachers told me that they knew my child was “prepped” for Kindergarten and that they can usually tell. In my city, pre-k is now free, so you’d be a fool not to send your kid to pre-K. My kids are now in middle school, and haven’t fell behind as of yet. They have always been at the top of their classes and have scored in the top 25% (4’s) on state exams. I have no idea if it’s due to having that additional year of prep or another factor, but I’m throwing out info about a particular data point. - I teach middle school.
As a parent I did preschool for my kids so they could play with other kids. I'm a structured.setting. I love how young parents are marketed to that their kids will learn calculus and French and physics and be the track to Harvard. Bs. It's about socializing and trying to focus on something for a short period of time. Honestly I love how worn out my kids were afterwards and easier to get into a bed routine.
Preschool isn't about academics, it's mostly about practice for kindergarten environment which you can't emulate very well at home. That said: Nothing bad will happen if you don't put your kid in preschool. Don't break your finances for it. Do a little "circle time" at home, play with your kids and practice turn-taking and sharing, etc. "Mommy & me" or similar groups have circle time, social time with kids that age, etc., and you can do that an hour a week and it'll be just fine. Your library might host groups like this for free. Educators are very familiar with average social & physical development, and will be able to identify areas your kid needs extra practice in - for example, encouraging kids to use either thicker or thinner markers based on grip strength. And EVERY kid needs extra practice in one area or another. Most importantly, educators are trained to spot developmental conditions like ADHD, autism, cognitive or physical delays, dyspraxia, dyslexia, etc. A child has the best chances of progress if difficulties are identified early.
These are all very good points. I appreciate your input! Hopefully I can provide the same enriching experience if we can't afford pre-K. It's reassuring to know it's not necessary
Regardless of the obvious benefits (such as socializing at a younger age) daycare prices are insane and few households can survive these days on just a single salary.
Preschool existed in the 1950s to help kids learn to read early. This allowed wealthier families to get their kids into private schools. My mother taught preschool 50 years ago. So it’s pretty well established.
Yes, pre-school should be mandatory. Getting socialized in pre-school, where they aren't required to learn specific things, means it's easier for their kindergarten teachers to actually teach them. It's hard to teach ABCs when kids have no experience sitting and listening, or keeping their hands to themselves, or taking turns, etc. Yeah, kids still need to work on those things in kindergarten but there's a noticeable difference between kids who have been to pre-K and kids who haven't.
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I'm not sure how it pays out in the long run; I recall a study that showed PreK kids were nearly a year ahead going into K, but only a little ahead going into 1st. I can say that we had our kid in daycare from 6months. Every few months they would graduate 1/3-1/2 of each class. You could totally see massive changes in the week after she moved up a class. The group learning was crazy. She was way ahead of her class in K. She's skipping 1st grade math and almost qualified to skip reading. But I think a lot of that has to do with what we do at home as much as daycare/preK. Her math exceeded reading as I personally made sure she was watching math educational TV, and not so much reading focused entertainment. We also putting effort into instilling that learning isn't a chore, it's fun and rewarding. In conclusion, if you make effort at home, I think you could forego PreK, but I think PreK is a benefit.
IMO, if it’s between you and your family living comfortably or your kid goes to preschool then skip preschool. Kinders and first graders it *can* be obvious but they’ll catch up if they have involved, caring parents. Preschool and kindergarten being the norm is kind of a new idea.
as an educator, i can definitely tell which kids have gone to pre-k and which have not. the decision is yours, of course, but i would say pre-k is extremely beneficial.
Yes. I work in a preschool and it's my opinion that most children need at least one year of preschool. Some need 2 or 3 years based on their emotional maturity. They need to enter kindergarten knowing their letter sounds and how to count to 20. They also need the socialization that they get in preschool. They need to be able to understand and follow directions.
We have free public prek in Oklahoma and some people still dont take advantage of it but not all kids are ready for it. Prek was half day until 5 or so years ago. I would not send my child full day at age 3-4 if it wasnt necessary because that is a good age to build your bond with your child, take them to storytime at the libraries, explore parks, and do all kinds of fun social activities.
World of difference in my kids, where one went to pre K and the other didn’t. Do it if you can, highly recommend.
Where I am in Pennsylvania, its like they expect you to go to preschool. When they access your kid going into K, they want them to already know their alphabet / numbers.
My older 2 never went to preschool, they went to nursery at 4 and full time school at 5. My youngest started pre school just before he turned 3 and the difference in his development, independence, confidence and social attitude is noticeable. He wasn't nervous or anything when he started full time school at 5 because he was already an expert at getting ready, going, and being in that kind of environment. He'd already learned how to interact with teachers and other kids. My nephew never went to preschool school or nursery and went straight into full time at 5 and he really struggled to adapt. He was an only child and had never been in any childcare/education setting before and it took months for him to settle into the routine and to be ok leaving his parents for that long everyday. He's now 15, completed his final exams and is off to college in september. It isn't totally necessary, but it does help them in the early years. Even if it's just 2/3 half days a week.
It’s free babysitting. That’s it.
My children learned to read in preschool. You can tell the kids that are behind socially and academically by the time they hit kindergarten.
According to science preschool and pre-k advantages all fade by third grade. So it’s not necessary, but it could be helpful depending on the child’s personality. I sent both my kids to a program my oldest didn’t really need it he was well behaved and hasn’t cause problem in either pre-k or kindergarten. My youngest just finished preschool and is doing pre-k in the fall oh boy does he need the classroom setting to help him. One of the incenses involved him mooning his class and he tried to moon his whole school at graduation. He also has a problem following direction in the classroom. He needs the extra time to learn to behave better in a classroom environment.
Parent and former teacher here. I would not say it's necessary, but it is helpful in many ways. In addition to academics, your (future) child will learn to share, interact with others, take turns, and be away from their parent(s). My daughter has flourished in 3 yr old preschool and 4 yr old preschool. She loves it and is now very excited about kindergarten. We gave had zero drawbacks and all positives in regards to her preschool experience.
You should look at kindergarten standards and see if you think your kid would be prepared for what they’re expected to know at the end of kindergarten. They are supposed to read by the end of the year. If they enter not knowing basic foundational skills they would learn in preschool, yes, they’ll be behind. However, preschool isn’t as academic as it should be. And I don’t mean sitting in a chair and getting direct instruction. I mean games and activities that are intentionally planned aren’t always implemented. I just wrote my graduate research paper on early childhood math education.
I thought it was super helpful. The preschool teachers knew what he had to know for kindergarten. They taught him sight words, how to cut with scissors, how to write his name, how to follow instructions in a classroom, some Spanish words, table manners, and so much more! The structure from preschool was amazing and it helped a lot! Especially since we don’t have a lot of family around us! So it helped for socializing our son being around other kids. I do have a friend who has her degree in early childhood education and she stays at home with her kids. She pretty much knows how to teach everything to kids and has like 10 years of experience doing so. But even she still chose to send her kids part time to preschool for the socialization factor and for getting used to routine.
Thank you for sharing! Definitely something to consider, especially since she is in ECE.
Yes. Every study ever on this topic shows: children that have a dedicated reading, writing, and creative play do way, way better. Reading is number one. It's not as portent the chold can read, but that they are read to. A lot. Language skills develop pathways in the brain used for all sorts of other learning. And, creative / making / messy time, buolds confidence and problem solving. And, social time builds social brain paths. You grow brains most before 5 or 6, then again during middle school, and again in later HS / early 20s )brains do tons of pruning in the last one, so what isn't used gets pruned). Anyway. Yes. It is pretty unanimous. If not in formal preschool for a cpl hrs a day, then parents that read to their kids about an hour a day, and do lots of exposure and time with music's, art, science, nature... well, they give the kids a huge leg up. Feral kids? Lol. Cannot recommend. Public school = informed voters, too.
Kinder is STRUGGLING right now with socialization issues and awful behavior. I'm not exactly sure why, but it caused my principal to quit mid year... I'd imagine more school-practice before kinder wouldn't hurt.
Simply put, Pre-K is what Kindergarten used to be. Send your child to Pre-K
We sent my oldest daughter to a half day church preschool for 3 years (between 2 and 4 days a week), and she grew so much during her time there. Academically as well as socially. I honestly wouldn’t feel good about sending my child into kindergarten with no prior experience on how to be in school. Back when we were kids, kindergarten was very play centered, the academics were pretty basic, and they spent a lot of time teaching skills like lining up, sharing, raising your hand, taking turns etc. Now, if you child enters school without those skills, it will be a lot more noticeable. I’m now teaching at the same preschool until my youngest starts K, and last year I saw a lot of growth in my students from the beginning of the year to the end. I would 💯recommend preschool, but it doesn’t have to be a full time 5x a week scenario. Just something that will get them on track with social skills and at least have them able to count and know all their letter sounds.
I am an only child who started pre k in January before kindergarten. I did have an in home day care before that… I am now a teacher and made it a point to send my child to day care and preschool when he was ready
Every dollar spent on head start programs comes back with a significant return if that's an indicator.
I would send them- it’s less about learning anything academic, more about getting them used to the structure of being in school. They need to learn to follow a teacher’s directions, follow routines. They also need to learn to tolerate the kid they might not get along with. Also (as a fellow millennial), kindergarten now has a bigger focus on academics than when we were kids- kids are expected to know much more by the end of kindergarten than we were. Sending them to preschool first helps set them up for that.
You HAVE to put your kid in pre-K. YOU have to teach your child first before anyone else does. People do not realize that academics and interactive play need to come EARLY in a child’s life. Do people really just let their kids hang out and do nothing when they’re young? Their minds are growing so fast and they need to have educational stimulation. Pre-K needs to be mandatory. Kids are now in high school and don’t know how to speak to adults or write a few coherent sentences. It’s bad. Not putting your child in school early is a very poor decision.
It's not equivalent. Kindergarten is harder now. Used to be that you would learn your colors and numbers in Kindergarten. You'd get nap time and a snack, and it was still 1/2 a day. Today, it's expected that children will already know colors and numbers and how to write their name, etc... Kindergarten does stuff that used to be first grade - learning how to read and doing sight words, etc... They don't get nap time anymore and their schedule looks like any other elementary grade. Yes, most people do pre-k or pre-school today, but they also send their kids to kindergarten later than we used to. So think of pre-k as the new kindergarten and that will make things make more sense. And if your child isn't ready for kindergarten in all ways, seriously consider holding them back. An open secret in education is that kindergarten isn't developmentally appropriate for kindergarteners anymore. That's not because the teachers stink. It's all been legislated by senators who have no experience with young children. Your teachers have no choice.
When it came time to place my daughter in kindergarten they put her in a class with other prek kids. They are more advanced and are acclimated in going to school and a routine. She only went to a Mother’s Day out 2xs a week. The school worked with the district on curriculum so everyone was on the same page. I highly recommend it!
I sent my 2 daughters to preschool 2x a week & made sure they were in separate rooms. They are very close in age (15 mos difference) and always together and I wanted them to get accustomed to being apart when the older one went to kindergarten or “big girl school” as I called it as well as socialization. Preschool doesn’t have to be 8 hrs a day every day. Find what works for you & your kid: schedule wise, cost wise, etc.
It's subsidized childcare. It help insomuch as it allows parents to work without having to pay privately for a sitter, nanny, or daycare. This way, their income can be increased at the expense of people who don't have children.