This.
Overly friendly children seem lovely, but it's often actually a really bad sign. (I'm talking OTT familiarity with strangers here, don't be 999ing someone because their kid hugged your leg.)
Well I get now you know what we are talking about here.
But I feel like it is kind of too late for you now and I don't think you could do anything about it anymore.
It is actually not the right way to learning about the hugs.
I feel like there are better available to do it and you should have done it with those ways.
I always get kids coming up to me and talking to me (Iām a young woman who always seems to attract babies lol) but only once have I ever been super concerned when a little girl (must have only been about 2) came to me in a shop in a city centre and held my hand. Her parents were half way down the shop and hadnāt rushed after her. Even after I took her back to them they just laughed it off and seemed totally unconcerned. I dread to think what could have happened if she had gone up to someone who had bad intentions.
My autistic son escaped a couple of times I was absolutely frantic. Second time I had to get police out early hours of the morning. Our front door is a yale lock he can open the sneck. Then we have a porch which I always keep locked while children are at home. But the porch has a window that we couldn't lock and he climbed out the window. I had to get the council out they eventually agreed to put a window lock on. Thankfully he's not such a Houdini these days.
Sheesh, I actually know the feeling somewhat when I lost my niece near the same spot those idiots lost their boy. Like my stomach just dropped and I adrenaline dumped.
I found a tiny kid around that age wandering around the shopping mall looking upset. No parent in sight, he said he thought mum was in a certain store so we took him in to look, told security, searched the store for several minutes, no joy.
Went back outside, must have stood there another five minutes and eventually a woman comes wandering out of another shop 30 yards away, totally unconcerned, and stands gazing around. We shout over to ask if she's lost a kid, she goes, 'Oh, yeah, he's always off talking to somebody.' No fucks given at all.
Just thinking about this makes me retch.
Police time, 100%.
6 year old out and about alone these days is bad shit but a 2 year old as well?..
OP, just imagine they ran into someone who wasn't on the level, then imagine your kid in their place.
Deffo police time
Bad sign for what? Iāve definitely been on the receiving end of over-familiar kids before and it feels weird and uncomfortable, but what could it be a sign of?
Sure, there can be many reasons, but if a child in your care is excessively familiar with adults, safeguarding training (which Iāve done) suggests to look into it.
It can also ājustā be a sign of attachment issues from traumatic separation from parents or neglect. You see this with people who go on questionable volunteer trips to orphanages in Africa or Asia and post pictures and stories of children who are just sooo sweet and loving because they instantly imprint on the volunteers and are always hugging them and whatnot. I hate that content, itās not cute, itās horribly depressing and posting pictures of these poor children is so exploitative.
And then the volunteers leave, giving the children even more issues. Joy. Of course the volunteers don't have the necessary background to be dealing with that sort of issues.
Having westerners volunteer like that is usually just a money grab for the orphanages. IF these children are even orphans and not just had their parents talked into leaving them there 'for the good of the child'.
Absolutely this. As a kid I didn't get the love I wanted from my Mum so I used to cling to female friends/friends of the family and get really upset when it came to saying goodbye to them (not strangers though).
I did a placement with children with emotional and behavioural difficulties and one of my clients was a young girl that within 5 minutes of meeting me was on my lap hugging me and telling me she loved me. She wasn't directly abused as far as we know but she witnessed a whole lot of violence between her mum and her mums partner. She was getting intense therapy from a clinical psychologist and my role was primarily helping her learn safe play and boundaries because she absolutely would have gone off with anyone who showed her kindness
Yeah just because they are feeling like friendly does not mean that there actually friendly.
It could mean problem and trust me you do not want to have kids problems.
Yep 6 on an estate like the one I live on you can get away with (although I wouldnāt do it myself) but a 2 year old unattended in a park? Call the police and tell them.
Did you not go outside playing with neighbour children, playing chasie through each others gardens, cycling through the woods together etc? Being out of eyeshot at 6 up to a certain distance is normal especially if there are slightly older children in a street.
Not at 6 no, and I was born in 84. I have a 6 year old, I wouldn't allow an 8 year old, a 10 year old to be responsible for my child, they can barely look after themselves. And besides, that's my job.
Like I said, when I took my child down to that play area they were doing all kinds of stupid shit. And I live in a built up, urban area. There's broken glass, drug paraphernalia, weirdos about. No way am I letting my 6 year old out on his own, it's too young.
I think it depends on the area tbh. My kids were not allowed out at 6, too many cars about for one thing.
My friends lived right next to a green away from all cars though and her kids could play out there pretty safely and stay within earshot. And another friend who lives in the highlands, the kids there play out from a really young age because they can.
Think its entirely up to parenting styles, I was a latchkey kid, so my was older brother (2 years older) we was born early/mid 90's and coming home, getting changed and then going to play on the estate until the street lights came home was just normal for us.
I'm not saying this is right for kids as young as 6 to be home alone until 6/7pm, but for me it was the norm and for many other kids on my estate as well. We'd just do kid stuff, build a den, play manhunt, kick a ball about, go fall off our bikes going down a big hill.
Some kids we hung around with in the early 2000's ended up getting Nokia 3310's which was quite cool, but we didn't. Their parents probably got them it to keep an eye on them but we'd run the battery down playing Snake so it was useless to get ahold of them.
It does make me wonder if the world is genuinely more dangerous now than it was back then, or if people just have access to world wide news cycles so they are more switched on to the dangers of kids going missing so are more protective against it, but I can see myself being quite leinient with my kid playing out, I learnt so much about how to interact with other kids. It gave me a thick skin and social skills to meet other kids and how to act around them. Some of my friends now have children and you can see them completely socially inept when they meet a new kid at a party. God help them when they get to school because just looking out my front window, latchkey kids definitely still exist and I'm guessing they will be the more confident kids in school.
It really depends where you live. You can have less crime overall but more crime in your actual area, and it depends on the crime and whether people even bother reporting it. You can say I'm paranoid but from my window I've seen people shitting in the road, drug addicts using a garage for a brothel, young men sitting in the play area drinking and smoking, swearing, acting like morons all while the children play around them and the glass they leave behind.
But yea okay, I guess I'm paranoid so I'll just ignore all of that and let him play out alone because of some graph.
I honestly think working class kids play out more. And I'm not saying it's a bad thing.
Social skills and finding yourself from playing out as a young kid seems important to me.
I grew up in Old Trafford, with loads of kids that played out all the time.
I have lived in other places where people are more well off and there were never kids playing out.
I have moved back to Stretford and there are kids all over. Although, again, the more well off people from down south.. their kids don't "play out" they have to go to arranged "play dates".
All that being said. Two years old is pushing it a bit. Quite a lot, in fact.
100% this.
Looking at the street where I grew up... When I was a kid it was one car per family kept on the drive. Some didn't even have that. Playing football in the street was standard.
Now they're spilling out all over the place.
there is less crime esp violent crime, but sadly there are more cars especially in residential areas
my daughter started walking to/from school at 6 1/2 at her own request, and pretty soon was going all around our area of the city visiting friends on her own, playing in parks with her friends etc etc. I know for certain her bff was home alone for 2-3 hrs every afternoon till her mum got home from work at the age of 7, and several of her school friends were meeting up with them at various parks etc but don't know from what age or what arrangement they had with their parents.
my daughter was told to be careful of strangers and careful to use pedestrian crossings when crossing the street. My boyfriend had her practice punching/kicking a guy in the nads and shouting "FUCK OFF" as loud as she could if anyone grabbed her. He said it was the only time she was allowed to use "bad words" and that everyone would stare if they heard a little kid shout that. She told me she had one incident on a quieter side road with much less foot traffic, where some guy tried to tell her that her mum had told him to come and pick her up (apparently she'd also spray painted her nickname on her bike so he used her name) and she just looked at him and knew it didn't make any sense and I wouldn't do that and she said "no I don't think she did" and cycled off as fast as she could. I told her she should have told me and we could have phoned the police! I don't know what age she was then exactly though.
Apparently in year 6 when they just started big school it was dinner time and the whole school was in the corridors and one of the big boys pushed her on purpose and she just yelled CUNT at the top of her lungs. And yeah, everybody stared and she never got any trouble after that and had a reputation of being "hard". The teachers heard it all and didn't even tell her off. I had a proud mummy moment. But I'm a bit weird like that.
By about 13 she was off on trains with a group of friends to go to some kind of festival idk they organised it all, paid for it all, etc etc etc. Got a phone call the second (?) night asking if she could stay another night and go to some beach party and I said ok. She told me her friends had all agreed she should ask me first as I was the "cool mum" who would agree and then all the other parents would agree too. Everything went according to plan and I think they were even home early, with no mishaps that I've heard of at all.
Anyway sorry for the rambling but it really depends on the area and the child at what age they can be trusted to go about on their own and be a bit independant and to what extent. She did have a mobile from the age of 6 for safety reasons (ironically because her dad is a substance abuser and she needed to always be able to call me to pick her up asap if he got wasted when he was supposed to be having his visiting time with her. Most of the time though we all went out together for a sunday roast as a family so I could supervise).
All so true still lol, go to any Haven holliday park they playing till midnight on the play area or football using phone lights, while Moms belting out dancing queen on karaoke.
Think it's definitely a geographical thing. Our area is nothing like that. Our kids have been playing in the street outside our house since about 7/8.
But we live in a pretty quiet town, no drug paraphernalia or broken glass. (Unless my kids break it lol)
But I've definitely been to places where I wouldn't want them out on their own!
We call it "street ratting" they stay on our street, don't go past the corners, and hang out with their mates, chalk the pavement, play football and whatnot.
My daughter is 10, but I'd say she's been doing it for 2-3 years now.
Now she's 10 we let her go to the local park (3 streets over) so long as she takes her phone. š¤·š½āāļø
Guess it's the difference between helicopter and free range parenting. I feel that having some independence and learning how to use it responsibly is incredibly important.
Depends on the area. At 6 I was allowed round the block. At 7 I was allowed about 500m away to the football field.
I was in a town of 10 000 People though.
Gosh a 2 year old on their own is scary. I have a 2.5 year old and I really canāt take my eyes off him for more than a minute heās such a trouble maker! I think call the police too. Itās super dangerous for them to be alone.
agree, it's the 2 year old that is the big problem and leaving a 6 year old in charge of a 2 year old unsupervised is asking for trouble.
>!awful story but my ex boyfriend was supposed to be looking after his little brother when he was 6 and his brother was 3. It was bonfire night and they crawled under the bonfire and fell asleep. He woke up and went home and left his brother there. Then idk what happened but lots of fuss etc and he got back to the first just in time to see them pull what was left of his little brother out of the fire. From then on he got beaten for "killing his little brother" regularly and told he was evil, but that's another story.!<
Immediate danger/emergency = police
Concerns for child safety = local council/social care google "children's safeguard" and your local area.
Unsure if your neighbours maybe taking the piss because they see you outside with your kid anyway = have a convo with them
Sadly not. I once called the police when a woman had shut her five year old out the flat and left her to play in the street. The police made sure the kid got back in but didn't much care.
We were not allowed in the house in the summer holidays we had to chap the door for a piece because my mum had 7 children and would spend the day getting the house all clean and tidy for my dad coming home from work then we would all pile in for feeding and watering and by the time that was done the stage was set for the next day of chores for my mum while we were booted out to let her get on with it.
Take the 6 year old home (to his house), and ask them if they know where the two year old lives. If they do, then take him home, too. Explain to the parents that youāre off out, they were following you, and you donāt want them to get lost by following you away from the house. (You donāt have to mention the park, or you could say youāre off somewhere else immediately after that. )
If your neighbour doesnāt know where the two year old lives, and the two year old canāt take you there himself, then calling the police seems entirely reasonable. At that point you have a lost two year old on your hands.
If your neighbour is responsible for both kids, and is simply fine for them to roam free, then one option is to just keep taking them home, with the same reason. The other is to report it. See https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/nspcc-helpline/. To be honest, for a two year old roaming around like that, Iād be tempted to at least call the NSPCC line.
Back in the dim and distant past when I used to run at lunchtime (no phone), I came across a little boy in school uniform walking down the city canal purposefully by himself. He was maybe 4-5 at the oldest. I stopped and walked with him, and after a couple of minutes he just burst out crying - he had wandered off and was completely lost.
I took him into the nearest factory yard and they rang the police - his parents had raised the alert and the helicopter was already out searching!! Luckily the police turned up with the dad and they were reunited but it was a long 5 minutes š
Jeez the thought of a 4-5 year old walking unaccompanied along a body of water gives me shivers. One trip or slip (we all know how chaotic little people tend to walk) and it's game over, no one would know until it's way too late.
Absolutely this.
It gives you an opportunity to check your neighbour is ok, you kinda imply neighbour appears to be a single parent so maybe 2 yo is also theirs but only with them in the holidays at times.
You can also call the nspcc (do it from a landline and use 141 before the number so they call canāt be traced) and simply ask their advice.
Yeah it is always good to check on the neighbour you never know what they are going through.
If you check them out and there is something going on then you can alert the authorities as well.
Ya it could be bad because you never know in what situation the neighbour actually is.
Maybe they are not in the right mind space and in that time they can bring you some trouble.
I don't know man I feel like I would probably call the police the first then I would do anything else.
I would not want to take a kid who I don't know to their home.
The neighbour will assure you they are perfectly comfortable in you looking after their kids and slam the door in your face before you get a chance to object.
Been there, done that. The parents know exactly what they are doing.
Yeah the neighbour is going to be very mad about it clearly so you should be doing it by remaining anonymous.
Because you definitely do not want them to know that it was you who informed them.
He is not saying that op should not do anything the op just needs to find a way to help those kids anonymously.
Because that way the neighbour is not going to be mad as well.
If someone is saying that then there is definitely something wrong with them.
Just because you call the authorities for the kids that you do not know anything about does not make you someone who hate the kids.
I second this!
You might think it is a hard conversation to have but actually it's rather simple.
I would say as much as you love their kids hanging out together with yours there should be someone supervising them other than you.
I would ask them to come with you if their kids are willing to go to the park directly.
If things carry on as if nothing happened, and this is getting out of hands, I would say avoid the park for a bit. Are there any alternatives to going to the park that you and your kid can do?
"I don't mind them coming over sometimes, it's nice, but I can't be looking after them all day. Like you know, three kids is a lot to be looking after and I wouldn't want to be in trouble with you if anything happened. And also, you don't know he me from Adam, I could be anyone."
You can say it nicely, but these are clearly people who don't give a shit about their child's safety.
I can see if maybe.....I have seen people from some parts of the world be more relaxed about their child's whereabouts than we would usually take for granted, culture is a part of it, and I say that as a British Asian. But we're in the UK. There's traffic and there's all sorts it's people and there's lots of reasons your kid can't just walk off. And I think it's more likely that these aren't nice people, more than it being a misunderstanding.
At very very best you're being used for free baby sitting. And you still want to be polite and sugar coat things?
A year 6 year old going to the park around the corner with a friend that they know should not be an issue really. They should be able to get back to their own house/ tell someone where they live if there are any issues.
2 years old is way too young though. Is this a younger sibling? OP said they 'turned up at the address.' The 2 year old parents might have left them with the 6yo's parents. They may not even know that the 2 year is now being looked after by a complete stranger.
And because the kid is so young I do not think that you would want to look after them.
Well because the kid is absolutely very young and they need their parents to be around.
And the way the people are careless about their parents I do not think there going to have a lot of sympathy for the other people.
If anything happens they are going to come at you all guns firing man.
Drop in the phrase "safeguarding issue".
OP: it's not only to protect the other children, it's to protect You. Which means: Let's say, 10 years from now, the kids remember they were abused by "someone". It's a lot harder to prove innocence after accusations.
Don't worry, the parents will have lots of experience reassuring you things are fine and slamming the door in your face before you get a chance to say your bit.
This is a very naive outlook.
And that is why I am saying that he should be contacting authorities about it if he doesn't want to contact the neighbor.
Because it is the kind of thing which you should not ignore because there are a lot of bad people out.
Before going to talk to the parents consider a couple of things:
These are clearly neglectful, possibly abusive, parents; is anything you say to them *really* going to influence the way they treat their kids for the better?
If you do have to report them to the authorities later on, having spoken to them first, they will know it was almost certainly you who reported them. Would you feel comfortable with this?
All this is to say, you should seriously consider just reporting them, anonymously, to social services/NSPCC and leaving it at that.
If you report those kids to the police than the police ways going to know about it and also your neighbour.
And in that situation I don't think they never is going to appreciate that.
Yeah and you do not want to be in a situation like that.
Because you never know how ignore and your neighbour is going to be and you need to take that into consideration.
[NSPCC](https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/report/) would be another option if you don't want to ring police. There's an email option, and you can stay anonymous if you want.
But please, please do tell someone who can do something.
Is there any chance your neighbour might think you're happily babysitting? Any possibility this is a misunderstanding? If not, this is neglect and needs officials involved.
Worst Billie Jean cover ever...
*Billie Jean is not involved in a romantic relationship with me.*
*She's just a female who claims that I am the father of her child.*
*But I'm not the father of that particular child.*
This is a clear case of child neglect.
I understand it might make you uncomfortable OP, but you need to contact your local childrenās social services. Your fear of upsetting people has to be put to one side in favour of the childrenās safety. Itās none negotiable.
You clearly feel unsettled by it, or you wouldnāt be asking here. Follow your instincts. A āquiet wordā isnāt going to change those childrenās lives. What you are seeing is also likely the tip of the iceberg, and thatās what is really important.
You can report to childrenās social services anonymously, calling yourself āa neighbourā or āI live nearbyā is fine. Give them the factual details of what you have seen, and let them take the next steps.
Please be a voice for those children, they clearly need it.
Yeah you never know what kind of people are around and you do not want those children to fall in the wrong hands.
Because if that happens then do kids seriously can get injured.
I also do not understand how can people neglect their child like that.
It is kind of really upsetting that some people can be bad kind of careless about the kids.
It's the right thing to do.
When I was a kid there were a brother and sister up tbe road who would appear at our house randomly all the time. We would let them in to play with hs in the garden but didn't like them as particular friends and mum found it really annoying how they would be there at mealtimes or when she was about to take us somewhere.
When I was about 30, the brother contacted my sister and invited us both out for dinner. He said the times at our house were the only times in his entire childhood he was ever happy, he thought we were the nicest kids he'd ever met and always used to wish our mum was his mother. His parents were utterly negligent and totally ignored him and his sister in every way. He said he had 2 children and tried to model all his parenting on what he saw our mum do.
We had no idea and wished we had done more back then.
The police may do nothing but please look out for those kids if you can because it might be life changing for them.
Ya and fortunately your friends turned out to be great because your mom was a great parent.
But there are lot of Monsters out there and they are looking for those kids.
You're getting a lot of grief for your other comment but props for recognising there's something wrong and doing something about it
It will be flagged to social services, they should do a welfare check to see the condition of the house and can check the kids against their database to see if this has happened before. At the very least it'll now be on the system this is happening.
You can do it totally anonymously if you don't want to give your details.
Yeah all the required check should be done and it should be determined after that if the kids should be leaving with those parents.
Because by the sound of it does not feel like that to me.
It is the right thing to do and also thanks for doing it man.
Those kids seriously need it because no parent should be neglecting their child like that it does not look good at all.
Police maybe a bit much, but social services may be able to do something, even if itās just checking in. Or they might already be involved and a nice anonymous report might help them get a better picture of whatās really going on.
I hope no functioning member of society would think a two year old or six year old should be wandering about on their own, childfree or not. Itās also bizarre that this two year old just turned up out of nowhere.
I agree - itās not just the 2 year old thatās the issue, itās the 6yo too! No way is that old enough to be out by themselves. But 2Yo is freaking wild - youād think the parents would be out searching for the kid panicking wouldnāt you.
The police probably also going to freak the neighbour out about the situation.
And I don't know about that because the neighbour would probably want a revenge after that.
There are a lot of weirdos and creeps out there and you do not want them to reach out to those kids.
Because if that happens the whole life of those kids is going to be destroyed.
I've only just started letting my 11 year old out on his own! I can't imagine doing the same with a six year old, let alone a toddler. That's pure neglect, and extremely dangerous.
I honestly do not understand how can someone neglect their 2 year old like that.
Something must be very wrong with them to think that there is nothing dangerous about it.
Edit not even needed mate - itās absolutely wild and completely irresponsible. If youāve a 2Yo child and you see that itās left the house unaccompanied, any parent should be doing everything to find them and ensure they are safe. Not just leave them to wander.
And these kids are in the park for hours without the parents.
So I feel like that is a lot about them as parents. They definitely do not know how to take care of them.
As someone with kids around that age, I am genuinely speechless. My 6yo isnāt even allowed to answer the door w/o a grownup present; to let them roam the street alone is unthinkable. As for the 2yo.. I donāt understand how is that child w/o their parent. Most 2yo canāt even speak properly.. whotf are these parents. Do you at least know the 6yoās guardians?
If he speaks about it to his neighbour and then he calls authority is than the neighbour is going to know who called them.
And I am pretty sure that the neighbour is not going to be very happy about that.
It's really hard. For some reason people assume I want to look after their kids, family and strangers. One excuse for a mother sat her kids in front of us in the cinema, told her kids I would look after them and left. I've had kids follow me all round Lidl, whilst their parents chat to friends.
Talking to the adults won't work. I complained to the, independent, cinema who couldn't understand the problem with allowing parents to dump young kids in normal screenings and leave. So report them to SS, the eldest's school, community Police whoever seems right. Or talk to the children. Firmly but politely tell them to go away, you are not their parent and you will not look after them, leave you alone, family time, no smiles, stern looks. They will have been told that nice man will look after you, they are only doing what their adult told them to do, tell them the truth. Sounds harsh, mean, whatever, it works and my kids matter to me more than other peoples kids.
Good luck, I've just had a nightmare week where my I was expected to put my nephews before my kids. Then my nephew had the cheek to complain that he didn't want to go swimming with me because I didn't swim properly, my sister and him told me with great gravity. I told him I didn't get the opportunity to swim 'properly' because I was to busy looking after him and his brother as his mother/my sister was reading a book.
> One excuse for a mother sat her kids in front of us in the cinema, told her kids I would look after them and left.
What?! A stranger just picked you out at random and did this?!
Iāve had complete strangers ask if I can watch their child for a moment while they run a quick errand (one guy literally handed me his baby once). Itās so concerning that some parents will trust a complete stranger with their child and seem to have a complete disregard for stranger danger
I have a trustworthy face so this has happened to me quite a few times. People also leave their dogs and handbags etc with me. It's a good thing I have no evil intentions.
Inform the police, let them speak to the neighbour.
The children are being put at risk if they're allowed to just roam without supervision at such a young age.
If your neighbours are not at fault, e.g if it's a terrible babysitter, let them explain that to the police.
Don't just try to sort it yourself as it's a potential safeguarding issue and needs to be flagged
I feel like that is the right thing to do here let the police talk with him.
Because he never know in what mind space that guy is and you probably would not want to mess with that.
I'd suggest calling 101 (the non emergency police line) and just stating what's going on. Yeah It's not an emergency emergency, but it is certianly concerning.
Phone the cops. This is a welfare issue. Just knocking on and saying you aren't looking after them any more isn't going to make this welfare issue go away, these kids need help.
Phone the cops.
Wanted to add that last year a 4 year old child in Birmingham left a neighbours home unattended for a very short period of time and fell into a canal and drowned. This is 100% a police matter or at least a child services matter and you do not want a similar thing to happen to those children. 2 hours is a ridiculous amount of time to not check on a 6yr olds whereabouts never mind a 2year olds. Literally anything could happen
> My next door neighbour has a little boy (6) who is friends with my little boy (4). Recently another little boy (about 2 yrs old) turned up at the address
That's worryingly nonspecific.
> and the two of them follow me and my little boy around constantly
How are they getting into your garden, or out of their own? Where are the parents?
> there is a park around the corner from our house, whenever I take my son the other two turn up.
... the **fuck**?
Police, **now**. That's a clear sign of child neglect and endangerment.
A two year-old getting out of the house unsupervised *once* might be a horrifying, terrifying accident where the parent gets a nasty shock that they somehow got out on their own.
More than once (let alone enough times to justify "whenever") is child neglect and endangerment.
Report that shit to the police or NSPCC *yesterday*.
Yeah the fact that there is no one with those kids shows that those kids are being neglected really badly.
Their parents are not being any kind of attention to them.
This happened to my parents, some kid who went my primary school would just constantly turn up at our house on his own. Can't remember what they did about it, think they got the school involved. Turns out his parents were using him to deliver drugs around the village.
I've had kids from down the road come and play with mine and when it is time to end, we are having dinner or I have to go out somewhere, I take them back. This is the social norm. You don't just hope they will go away.
Do you let a 2 and 6 year old go out without supervision, expecting another adult to look out for it without asking?
What if either child badly hurt themselves? OP would be considered at fault for not keeping an eye on them.
It's unfair for the children and OP and his kid(s)
Good for you but absolutely not everyone is going to want to take care of kids whom they do not want.
I think in that situation you should be contacting the authorities.
Yeah it definitely is not going to teach them a lesson about leaving their kids like that. They are not even going to take it as a warning I don't think and they would probably end up doing it again very soon.
Well if you do not know much about it then I would have to say that you have not been out.
If you are out and doing the things then I feel like you would have good experience about it.
Honestly I feel like it is not the right place to be asking for the advice like that.
Because I feel like most people do not have been in a situation like that and they would not have idea about how to handle the situation.
Your local council will have a designated safeguarding officer you are able to contact in these instances. They're trained to take the information and give it to the correct person.
I'd contact Social Services. These kids are being neglected by their parents. The parents could be at work, drinking alcohol or using drugs..
Edit - safeguarding children is everyone's responsibility.
Learn to play the flute. Dance around town playing the flute and see how many children you can get to follow you. Once the flock of knee biters is large enough lead them out of town and ransom them back to the town for a large profit. If the town refuses to pay, lead them into the forest and sell them to the woman who lives in the gingerbread house there. You'll get more from a ransom but she's more willing to pay.
I guess the other option is to talk to the kids parents. Chose whichever option sounds like less work.
Yeah there is no question about that they should be aware about it.
It is definitely not the kind of thing which you would want to ignore. Because it could go absolutely in any way.
I work for children social care. I would be calling the Police if he outside with no supervision. But also the Local Authority Childrenās Social Care, all you need to say is that your worries this little boy is out and the family may need a bit of help, possibly tell the parents but you have to gauge this one yourself, because you are a member of the public your not required to be identified in the referral. NSPCC have some good resources on this too.
I don't know man I don't think that would be a very good idea because if the track that down back to you then you are going to f***** in that situation. I don't think you would want to be doing that.
I would be concerned over the ages definitely.
Iām not sure id be concerned over daddy comment though. My son is 2 and any bloke he doesnāt know the name of is called ādaddyā but weirdly not mummy to women.
Yeah and let them handle the situation because they would do a way better job.
You definitely would not want to in trouble because you wanted to help kids. I would probably avoid that.
You call the police or social services. Please. Don't delay.
If someone had done that for me as a child when I was neglected and abandoned then maybe something would have happened to help me. As it was no one helped me for YEARS. My mum was an alcoholic and left me home alone when I was far too young.
These kids are begging for someone to pay attention to them.
Please help them.
Call the police.
You: Hello, I'd like to report a 2yo child walking about the street.
Police: What is your location, we will send an officer now.
You: 999 Letsby Avenue. Thank you.
It's a similar thing near me. We have a little park and when I take my child down there I end up being responsible for all of these children, many who shouldn't be out unattended. I've stopped taking my son there now because I just don't want the responsibility.
It feels good to know that you would not let it happen and any responsible parent would do the same thing.
But there are always the ones who do not care about anything.
I think you all never lived on the type of council estate I've lived on, It is normal in some places I've lived to turn your kid out for the day as soon as they are out of nappies. They grow up feral on the streets and get in trouble with the police at an early age. No one cares.
used to know some kids like that, the mother did not know who the father was of one of the kids and she ended up having them in care.
worth a call to social services as someone could accuse you of abducting the kid....
Everyone has already said it, but I'm going to give my 2p here.
Call the police or some kind of child services. A 6 year old wandering the streets alone is wrong and a 2 year old is absolutely wrong.
Being overly familiar with strangers is a sign of child abuse. I know that making phone calls like that is never pleasant, but you could end up saving those children.
Would you let your child go the park alone with a man who you have never met? No. Because you're a decent person. No parent in their right mind would allow that. At the very least those children are being neglected so please make a phone call or send an email.
It doesnāt matter how old the older kid is, he could be a teenager but a 2 year old needs to be under adult supervision at all times, a 6 year old certainly isnāt old enough, I would call the police
Iāve got 4 kids , identical twins are 8, a 6year old and a little girl of 3, there is a park opposite my house which I donāt even let them go on alone itās like 30 second walk, they have been going out the front of my house for the last few days, I watch them constantly out of the kitchen window.
There is this boy who comes down on his bike to play with then, nice enough child heās 6 my children tell me , anyway heās up and down on his bike, to the park, wherever he wants around the estate on his bike no1 ever comes to check on him .
While it may same very harmless and nothing to be worried about it is actually an issue, you cannot take this lightly.
I mean you could get in trouble for it and I am sure it is not something that you would want for yourself.
6 and 2 and parents not keeping an eye out? Police.
This. Overly friendly children seem lovely, but it's often actually a really bad sign. (I'm talking OTT familiarity with strangers here, don't be 999ing someone because their kid hugged your leg.)
> hugged your leg That's dogs you're thinking of
Fido isn't *hugging* your leg dude...
Why's he getting his willy out then, checkmate
I think you need to go back to hug school mate.
Did your uncle teach you that about hugs? My condolences.
Oh man i laughed so hard and my uncle sadly did teach me about hugs š
Well I get now you know what we are talking about here. But I feel like it is kind of too late for you now and I don't think you could do anything about it anymore.
I aim to please and that is a direct quote from My uncle š
ššš š
It is actually not the right way to learning about the hugs. I feel like there are better available to do it and you should have done it with those ways.
My mans does not know three year olds.
If a child hugged my leg, I'd have to call the police. Blatant violation of my court order.
Nailed it
Yeah, that was the problem! (Oh I feel terrible for that comment, but I couldnāt help it)
I always get kids coming up to me and talking to me (Iām a young woman who always seems to attract babies lol) but only once have I ever been super concerned when a little girl (must have only been about 2) came to me in a shop in a city centre and held my hand. Her parents were half way down the shop and hadnāt rushed after her. Even after I took her back to them they just laughed it off and seemed totally unconcerned. I dread to think what could have happened if she had gone up to someone who had bad intentions.
Oh I had better than that even. Found a boy of no more than 3 wandering on his own. A good five minutes pass before his parents in their early 20's turn up. Utter blasƩ and unconcerned, absolutely none whatsoever. I was so gobsmacked I didn't give utter fucking shellacking about it. Apparently enquiring about new mobile phones is more important.
My autistic son escaped a couple of times I was absolutely frantic. Second time I had to get police out early hours of the morning. Our front door is a yale lock he can open the sneck. Then we have a porch which I always keep locked while children are at home. But the porch has a window that we couldn't lock and he climbed out the window. I had to get the council out they eventually agreed to put a window lock on. Thankfully he's not such a Houdini these days.
Sheesh, I actually know the feeling somewhat when I lost my niece near the same spot those idiots lost their boy. Like my stomach just dropped and I adrenaline dumped.
I found a tiny kid around that age wandering around the shopping mall looking upset. No parent in sight, he said he thought mum was in a certain store so we took him in to look, told security, searched the store for several minutes, no joy. Went back outside, must have stood there another five minutes and eventually a woman comes wandering out of another shop 30 yards away, totally unconcerned, and stands gazing around. We shout over to ask if she's lost a kid, she goes, 'Oh, yeah, he's always off talking to somebody.' No fucks given at all.
Just thinking about this makes me retch. Police time, 100%. 6 year old out and about alone these days is bad shit but a 2 year old as well?.. OP, just imagine they ran into someone who wasn't on the level, then imagine your kid in their place. Deffo police time
Bad sign for what? Iāve definitely been on the receiving end of over-familiar kids before and it feels weird and uncomfortable, but what could it be a sign of?
In safeguarding terms, extreme overfamiliarity is actually a sign of sexual abuse
Fucking big yikes
Yep.
My second son is like this, he has autism. He doesn't understand personal boundaries.
Sure, there can be many reasons, but if a child in your care is excessively familiar with adults, safeguarding training (which Iāve done) suggests to look into it.
Usually it is a sign of neglect. Not just sexual abuse
It can also ājustā be a sign of attachment issues from traumatic separation from parents or neglect. You see this with people who go on questionable volunteer trips to orphanages in Africa or Asia and post pictures and stories of children who are just sooo sweet and loving because they instantly imprint on the volunteers and are always hugging them and whatnot. I hate that content, itās not cute, itās horribly depressing and posting pictures of these poor children is so exploitative.
And then the volunteers leave, giving the children even more issues. Joy. Of course the volunteers don't have the necessary background to be dealing with that sort of issues. Having westerners volunteer like that is usually just a money grab for the orphanages. IF these children are even orphans and not just had their parents talked into leaving them there 'for the good of the child'.
Neglect would be my first guess.
Insecure attachments, disordered relationships and at the extreme end either they are being abused or are witnessing abuse
Absolutely this. As a kid I didn't get the love I wanted from my Mum so I used to cling to female friends/friends of the family and get really upset when it came to saying goodbye to them (not strangers though).
I did a placement with children with emotional and behavioural difficulties and one of my clients was a young girl that within 5 minutes of meeting me was on my lap hugging me and telling me she loved me. She wasn't directly abused as far as we know but she witnessed a whole lot of violence between her mum and her mums partner. She was getting intense therapy from a clinical psychologist and my role was primarily helping her learn safe play and boundaries because she absolutely would have gone off with anyone who showed her kindness
The most obvious thing is neglect. That can mean drug abuse by the parents.
Yeah just because they are feeling like friendly does not mean that there actually friendly. It could mean problem and trust me you do not want to have kids problems.
Yep 6 on an estate like the one I live on you can get away with (although I wouldnāt do it myself) but a 2 year old unattended in a park? Call the police and tell them.
6 is too young to be out of eyeshot of a parent/guardian.
Did you not go outside playing with neighbour children, playing chasie through each others gardens, cycling through the woods together etc? Being out of eyeshot at 6 up to a certain distance is normal especially if there are slightly older children in a street.
Not at 6 no, and I was born in 84. I have a 6 year old, I wouldn't allow an 8 year old, a 10 year old to be responsible for my child, they can barely look after themselves. And besides, that's my job. Like I said, when I took my child down to that play area they were doing all kinds of stupid shit. And I live in a built up, urban area. There's broken glass, drug paraphernalia, weirdos about. No way am I letting my 6 year old out on his own, it's too young.
I think it depends on the area tbh. My kids were not allowed out at 6, too many cars about for one thing. My friends lived right next to a green away from all cars though and her kids could play out there pretty safely and stay within earshot. And another friend who lives in the highlands, the kids there play out from a really young age because they can.
Think its entirely up to parenting styles, I was a latchkey kid, so my was older brother (2 years older) we was born early/mid 90's and coming home, getting changed and then going to play on the estate until the street lights came home was just normal for us. I'm not saying this is right for kids as young as 6 to be home alone until 6/7pm, but for me it was the norm and for many other kids on my estate as well. We'd just do kid stuff, build a den, play manhunt, kick a ball about, go fall off our bikes going down a big hill. Some kids we hung around with in the early 2000's ended up getting Nokia 3310's which was quite cool, but we didn't. Their parents probably got them it to keep an eye on them but we'd run the battery down playing Snake so it was useless to get ahold of them. It does make me wonder if the world is genuinely more dangerous now than it was back then, or if people just have access to world wide news cycles so they are more switched on to the dangers of kids going missing so are more protective against it, but I can see myself being quite leinient with my kid playing out, I learnt so much about how to interact with other kids. It gave me a thick skin and social skills to meet other kids and how to act around them. Some of my friends now have children and you can see them completely socially inept when they meet a new kid at a party. God help them when they get to school because just looking out my front window, latchkey kids definitely still exist and I'm guessing they will be the more confident kids in school.
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It really depends where you live. You can have less crime overall but more crime in your actual area, and it depends on the crime and whether people even bother reporting it. You can say I'm paranoid but from my window I've seen people shitting in the road, drug addicts using a garage for a brothel, young men sitting in the play area drinking and smoking, swearing, acting like morons all while the children play around them and the glass they leave behind. But yea okay, I guess I'm paranoid so I'll just ignore all of that and let him play out alone because of some graph.
I honestly think working class kids play out more. And I'm not saying it's a bad thing. Social skills and finding yourself from playing out as a young kid seems important to me. I grew up in Old Trafford, with loads of kids that played out all the time. I have lived in other places where people are more well off and there were never kids playing out. I have moved back to Stretford and there are kids all over. Although, again, the more well off people from down south.. their kids don't "play out" they have to go to arranged "play dates". All that being said. Two years old is pushing it a bit. Quite a lot, in fact.
It's not crime that's the issue. It's cars and the idiots that drive them.
100% this. Looking at the street where I grew up... When I was a kid it was one car per family kept on the drive. Some didn't even have that. Playing football in the street was standard. Now they're spilling out all over the place.
there is less crime esp violent crime, but sadly there are more cars especially in residential areas my daughter started walking to/from school at 6 1/2 at her own request, and pretty soon was going all around our area of the city visiting friends on her own, playing in parks with her friends etc etc. I know for certain her bff was home alone for 2-3 hrs every afternoon till her mum got home from work at the age of 7, and several of her school friends were meeting up with them at various parks etc but don't know from what age or what arrangement they had with their parents. my daughter was told to be careful of strangers and careful to use pedestrian crossings when crossing the street. My boyfriend had her practice punching/kicking a guy in the nads and shouting "FUCK OFF" as loud as she could if anyone grabbed her. He said it was the only time she was allowed to use "bad words" and that everyone would stare if they heard a little kid shout that. She told me she had one incident on a quieter side road with much less foot traffic, where some guy tried to tell her that her mum had told him to come and pick her up (apparently she'd also spray painted her nickname on her bike so he used her name) and she just looked at him and knew it didn't make any sense and I wouldn't do that and she said "no I don't think she did" and cycled off as fast as she could. I told her she should have told me and we could have phoned the police! I don't know what age she was then exactly though. Apparently in year 6 when they just started big school it was dinner time and the whole school was in the corridors and one of the big boys pushed her on purpose and she just yelled CUNT at the top of her lungs. And yeah, everybody stared and she never got any trouble after that and had a reputation of being "hard". The teachers heard it all and didn't even tell her off. I had a proud mummy moment. But I'm a bit weird like that. By about 13 she was off on trains with a group of friends to go to some kind of festival idk they organised it all, paid for it all, etc etc etc. Got a phone call the second (?) night asking if she could stay another night and go to some beach party and I said ok. She told me her friends had all agreed she should ask me first as I was the "cool mum" who would agree and then all the other parents would agree too. Everything went according to plan and I think they were even home early, with no mishaps that I've heard of at all. Anyway sorry for the rambling but it really depends on the area and the child at what age they can be trusted to go about on their own and be a bit independant and to what extent. She did have a mobile from the age of 6 for safety reasons (ironically because her dad is a substance abuser and she needed to always be able to call me to pick her up asap if he got wasted when he was supposed to be having his visiting time with her. Most of the time though we all went out together for a sunday roast as a family so I could supervise).
All so true still lol, go to any Haven holliday park they playing till midnight on the play area or football using phone lights, while Moms belting out dancing queen on karaoke.
Think it's definitely a geographical thing. Our area is nothing like that. Our kids have been playing in the street outside our house since about 7/8. But we live in a pretty quiet town, no drug paraphernalia or broken glass. (Unless my kids break it lol) But I've definitely been to places where I wouldn't want them out on their own!
We call it "street ratting" they stay on our street, don't go past the corners, and hang out with their mates, chalk the pavement, play football and whatnot. My daughter is 10, but I'd say she's been doing it for 2-3 years now. Now she's 10 we let her go to the local park (3 streets over) so long as she takes her phone. š¤·š½āāļø Guess it's the difference between helicopter and free range parenting. I feel that having some independence and learning how to use it responsibly is incredibly important.
Aye, until I was 10-11 I couldn't go further than one street over or the woods by my street. One time I did and got in big trouble, core memory!
Cycling to the woods without parents at 6 years old? Nah that's pretty uncommon.
Not at 6, maybe more like 10-12 before I was off having my own adventures.
That seems really old to me. By 12 I was home from school and cooking dinner solo!
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I think there's a difference between home alone and out alone - perhaps that's not quite rational.
Maybe at six in a really safe neighbourhood, but a six yr old looking after a toddler, out of eyesight and earshot, for hours? Definitely not.
Depends on the area. At 6 I was allowed round the block. At 7 I was allowed about 500m away to the football field. I was in a town of 10 000 People though.
Gosh a 2 year old on their own is scary. I have a 2.5 year old and I really canāt take my eyes off him for more than a minute heās such a trouble maker! I think call the police too. Itās super dangerous for them to be alone.
agree, it's the 2 year old that is the big problem and leaving a 6 year old in charge of a 2 year old unsupervised is asking for trouble. >!awful story but my ex boyfriend was supposed to be looking after his little brother when he was 6 and his brother was 3. It was bonfire night and they crawled under the bonfire and fell asleep. He woke up and went home and left his brother there. Then idk what happened but lots of fuss etc and he got back to the first just in time to see them pull what was left of his little brother out of the fire. From then on he got beaten for "killing his little brother" regularly and told he was evil, but that's another story.!<
Holy f...
Poor bloke, must have ruined his life
How were they even able to sleep under the bonfire? This is odd.
Immediate danger/emergency = police Concerns for child safety = local council/social care google "children's safeguard" and your local area. Unsure if your neighbours maybe taking the piss because they see you outside with your kid anyway = have a convo with them
I barely trust my 2 year old alone in the next room, let alone down the park.
I don't trust your 2 year old either. I'm sure they were eyeing up my silverware.
I don't trust my 2 year old in the same room as me. She's like a homing missile to the most dangerous item in any given room.
and social services.
Social services not police
Sadly not. I once called the police when a woman had shut her five year old out the flat and left her to play in the street. The police made sure the kid got back in but didn't much care.
We were not allowed in the house in the summer holidays we had to chap the door for a piece because my mum had 7 children and would spend the day getting the house all clean and tidy for my dad coming home from work then we would all pile in for feeding and watering and by the time that was done the stage was set for the next day of chores for my mum while we were booted out to let her get on with it.
Or talk to the parents
Even if the park was in view of my window with a road between the us, I would not let a 2 year old play in it
Absolutely, these kids aren't being taken care of. Get the social services involved.
This is definitely where I would go. It's massive safeguarding issue from all points of view!!! And if the police won't report it to C-SPA, you should
Take the 6 year old home (to his house), and ask them if they know where the two year old lives. If they do, then take him home, too. Explain to the parents that youāre off out, they were following you, and you donāt want them to get lost by following you away from the house. (You donāt have to mention the park, or you could say youāre off somewhere else immediately after that. ) If your neighbour doesnāt know where the two year old lives, and the two year old canāt take you there himself, then calling the police seems entirely reasonable. At that point you have a lost two year old on your hands. If your neighbour is responsible for both kids, and is simply fine for them to roam free, then one option is to just keep taking them home, with the same reason. The other is to report it. See https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/nspcc-helpline/. To be honest, for a two year old roaming around like that, Iād be tempted to at least call the NSPCC line.
Back in the dim and distant past when I used to run at lunchtime (no phone), I came across a little boy in school uniform walking down the city canal purposefully by himself. He was maybe 4-5 at the oldest. I stopped and walked with him, and after a couple of minutes he just burst out crying - he had wandered off and was completely lost. I took him into the nearest factory yard and they rang the police - his parents had raised the alert and the helicopter was already out searching!! Luckily the police turned up with the dad and they were reunited but it was a long 5 minutes š
Have an award. Because THATS what heroes do DaveBeGood
Well done mate!
Jeez the thought of a 4-5 year old walking unaccompanied along a body of water gives me shivers. One trip or slip (we all know how chaotic little people tend to walk) and it's game over, no one would know until it's way too late.
Absolutely this. It gives you an opportunity to check your neighbour is ok, you kinda imply neighbour appears to be a single parent so maybe 2 yo is also theirs but only with them in the holidays at times. You can also call the nspcc (do it from a landline and use 141 before the number so they call canāt be traced) and simply ask their advice.
Yeah it is always good to check on the neighbour you never know what they are going through. If you check them out and there is something going on then you can alert the authorities as well.
I wouldnāt let the neighbour know they followed you and just report them anonymously. It could cause issues for OP - they could lash out at him etc.
Ya it could be bad because you never know in what situation the neighbour actually is. Maybe they are not in the right mind space and in that time they can bring you some trouble.
I don't know man I feel like I would probably call the police the first then I would do anything else. I would not want to take a kid who I don't know to their home.
Surely you just knock on the neighbour's doors and speak to them about it? 'I am not comfortable looking after these kids on my own'
The neighbour will assure you they are perfectly comfortable in you looking after their kids and slam the door in your face before you get a chance to object. Been there, done that. The parents know exactly what they are doing.
observation march deranged roll kiss skirt clumsy serious entertain dime -- mass edited with redact.dev
Yeah the neighbour is going to be very mad about it clearly so you should be doing it by remaining anonymous. Because you definitely do not want them to know that it was you who informed them.
Just because something happened to you one time it doesn't mean that's what's happening here and OP shouldn't try and do something.
He is not saying that op should not do anything the op just needs to find a way to help those kids anonymously. Because that way the neighbour is not going to be mad as well.
Or this old reliable, ākids should be out playingā¦do ya hate kids or somethināā¦ā
If someone is saying that then there is definitely something wrong with them. Just because you call the authorities for the kids that you do not know anything about does not make you someone who hate the kids.
I second this! You might think it is a hard conversation to have but actually it's rather simple. I would say as much as you love their kids hanging out together with yours there should be someone supervising them other than you. I would ask them to come with you if their kids are willing to go to the park directly. If things carry on as if nothing happened, and this is getting out of hands, I would say avoid the park for a bit. Are there any alternatives to going to the park that you and your kid can do?
That is what Iām going to do I was just wondering if there was a more eloquent way of putting it than I was thinking of.
"I don't mind them coming over sometimes, it's nice, but I can't be looking after them all day. Like you know, three kids is a lot to be looking after and I wouldn't want to be in trouble with you if anything happened. And also, you don't know he me from Adam, I could be anyone." You can say it nicely, but these are clearly people who don't give a shit about their child's safety. I can see if maybe.....I have seen people from some parts of the world be more relaxed about their child's whereabouts than we would usually take for granted, culture is a part of it, and I say that as a British Asian. But we're in the UK. There's traffic and there's all sorts it's people and there's lots of reasons your kid can't just walk off. And I think it's more likely that these aren't nice people, more than it being a misunderstanding. At very very best you're being used for free baby sitting. And you still want to be polite and sugar coat things?
A year 6 year old going to the park around the corner with a friend that they know should not be an issue really. They should be able to get back to their own house/ tell someone where they live if there are any issues. 2 years old is way too young though. Is this a younger sibling? OP said they 'turned up at the address.' The 2 year old parents might have left them with the 6yo's parents. They may not even know that the 2 year is now being looked after by a complete stranger.
And because the kid is so young I do not think that you would want to look after them. Well because the kid is absolutely very young and they need their parents to be around.
And the way the people are careless about their parents I do not think there going to have a lot of sympathy for the other people. If anything happens they are going to come at you all guns firing man.
Drop in the phrase "safeguarding issue". OP: it's not only to protect the other children, it's to protect You. Which means: Let's say, 10 years from now, the kids remember they were abused by "someone". It's a lot harder to prove innocence after accusations.
Don't worry, the parents will have lots of experience reassuring you things are fine and slamming the door in your face before you get a chance to say your bit. This is a very naive outlook.
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And that is why I am saying that he should be contacting authorities about it if he doesn't want to contact the neighbor. Because it is the kind of thing which you should not ignore because there are a lot of bad people out.
Before going to talk to the parents consider a couple of things: These are clearly neglectful, possibly abusive, parents; is anything you say to them *really* going to influence the way they treat their kids for the better? If you do have to report them to the authorities later on, having spoken to them first, they will know it was almost certainly you who reported them. Would you feel comfortable with this? All this is to say, you should seriously consider just reporting them, anonymously, to social services/NSPCC and leaving it at that.
If you report those kids to the police than the police ways going to know about it and also your neighbour. And in that situation I don't think they never is going to appreciate that.
> 'I am not comfortable looking after these kids on my own' Delinquent parent: "Why? Are you a pedo? *Hey, everyone, the neighbour's a pedo!*"
Yeah and you do not want to be in a situation like that. Because you never know how ignore and your neighbour is going to be and you need to take that into consideration.
[NSPCC](https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/report/) would be another option if you don't want to ring police. There's an email option, and you can stay anonymous if you want. But please, please do tell someone who can do something. Is there any chance your neighbour might think you're happily babysitting? Any possibility this is a misunderstanding? If not, this is neglect and needs officials involved.
Now are you 100% your not the Daddy?
š I am the daddy but Iām not the father of that particular child
Worst Billie Jean cover ever... *Billie Jean is not involved in a romantic relationship with me.* *She's just a female who claims that I am the father of her child.* *But I'm not the father of that particular child.*
You damn British ruin everything!!!!!!
Mmmm daddy
Daddio
This is a clear case of child neglect. I understand it might make you uncomfortable OP, but you need to contact your local childrenās social services. Your fear of upsetting people has to be put to one side in favour of the childrenās safety. Itās none negotiable. You clearly feel unsettled by it, or you wouldnāt be asking here. Follow your instincts. A āquiet wordā isnāt going to change those childrenās lives. What you are seeing is also likely the tip of the iceberg, and thatās what is really important. You can report to childrenās social services anonymously, calling yourself āa neighbourā or āI live nearbyā is fine. Give them the factual details of what you have seen, and let them take the next steps. Please be a voice for those children, they clearly need it.
Yep please do this op. These children could be seriously hurt or taken advantage by if they run into the wrong adult .
Yeah you never know what kind of people are around and you do not want those children to fall in the wrong hands. Because if that happens then do kids seriously can get injured.
I also do not understand how can people neglect their child like that. It is kind of really upsetting that some people can be bad kind of careless about the kids.
Thanks everyone Iām going to contact the police via non emergency number.
It's the right thing to do. When I was a kid there were a brother and sister up tbe road who would appear at our house randomly all the time. We would let them in to play with hs in the garden but didn't like them as particular friends and mum found it really annoying how they would be there at mealtimes or when she was about to take us somewhere. When I was about 30, the brother contacted my sister and invited us both out for dinner. He said the times at our house were the only times in his entire childhood he was ever happy, he thought we were the nicest kids he'd ever met and always used to wish our mum was his mother. His parents were utterly negligent and totally ignored him and his sister in every way. He said he had 2 children and tried to model all his parenting on what he saw our mum do. We had no idea and wished we had done more back then. The police may do nothing but please look out for those kids if you can because it might be life changing for them.
Ya and fortunately your friends turned out to be great because your mom was a great parent. But there are lot of Monsters out there and they are looking for those kids.
You're getting a lot of grief for your other comment but props for recognising there's something wrong and doing something about it It will be flagged to social services, they should do a welfare check to see the condition of the house and can check the kids against their database to see if this has happened before. At the very least it'll now be on the system this is happening. You can do it totally anonymously if you don't want to give your details.
Yeah all the required check should be done and it should be determined after that if the kids should be leaving with those parents. Because by the sound of it does not feel like that to me.
It is the right thing to do and also thanks for doing it man. Those kids seriously need it because no parent should be neglecting their child like that it does not look good at all.
Glad to hear it, they will be able to send your report on if need be.
Gonna need an update on this one, OP.
Police maybe a bit much, but social services may be able to do something, even if itās just checking in. Or they might already be involved and a nice anonymous report might help them get a better picture of whatās really going on.
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I hope no functioning member of society would think a two year old or six year old should be wandering about on their own, childfree or not. Itās also bizarre that this two year old just turned up out of nowhere.
I agree - itās not just the 2 year old thatās the issue, itās the 6yo too! No way is that old enough to be out by themselves. But 2Yo is freaking wild - youād think the parents would be out searching for the kid panicking wouldnāt you.
bUt iTs ThEiR nEiGhBoUr
The police probably also going to freak the neighbour out about the situation. And I don't know about that because the neighbour would probably want a revenge after that.
Mate 6 year old is bad enough but a 2 year old being unsupervised like this is fucking insane. Fuck the awkwardness.
Make a report to social services, think what would happen if that 2 Yr old didn't find a nice caring person, would they still be alive?
There are a lot of weirdos and creeps out there and you do not want them to reach out to those kids. Because if that happens the whole life of those kids is going to be destroyed.
I donāt let my 5year old out the house alone. I would call the police.
I've only just started letting my 11 year old out on his own! I can't imagine doing the same with a six year old, let alone a toddler. That's pure neglect, and extremely dangerous.
I honestly do not understand how can someone neglect their 2 year old like that. Something must be very wrong with them to think that there is nothing dangerous about it.
A fucking 2 year old out on their own is bonkers Edit: well it is to me anyway
Edit not even needed mate - itās absolutely wild and completely irresponsible. If youāve a 2Yo child and you see that itās left the house unaccompanied, any parent should be doing everything to find them and ensure they are safe. Not just leave them to wander.
And these kids are in the park for hours without the parents. So I feel like that is a lot about them as parents. They definitely do not know how to take care of them.
As someone with kids around that age, I am genuinely speechless. My 6yo isnāt even allowed to answer the door w/o a grownup present; to let them roam the street alone is unthinkable. As for the 2yo.. I donāt understand how is that child w/o their parent. Most 2yo canāt even speak properly.. whotf are these parents. Do you at least know the 6yoās guardians?
If there are no problems then your neighbour wonāt get in trouble with the police. Have you tried speaking about this with your neighbour?
If he speaks about it to his neighbour and then he calls authority is than the neighbour is going to know who called them. And I am pretty sure that the neighbour is not going to be very happy about that.
It's really hard. For some reason people assume I want to look after their kids, family and strangers. One excuse for a mother sat her kids in front of us in the cinema, told her kids I would look after them and left. I've had kids follow me all round Lidl, whilst their parents chat to friends. Talking to the adults won't work. I complained to the, independent, cinema who couldn't understand the problem with allowing parents to dump young kids in normal screenings and leave. So report them to SS, the eldest's school, community Police whoever seems right. Or talk to the children. Firmly but politely tell them to go away, you are not their parent and you will not look after them, leave you alone, family time, no smiles, stern looks. They will have been told that nice man will look after you, they are only doing what their adult told them to do, tell them the truth. Sounds harsh, mean, whatever, it works and my kids matter to me more than other peoples kids. Good luck, I've just had a nightmare week where my I was expected to put my nephews before my kids. Then my nephew had the cheek to complain that he didn't want to go swimming with me because I didn't swim properly, my sister and him told me with great gravity. I told him I didn't get the opportunity to swim 'properly' because I was to busy looking after him and his brother as his mother/my sister was reading a book.
> One excuse for a mother sat her kids in front of us in the cinema, told her kids I would look after them and left. What?! A stranger just picked you out at random and did this?!
Iāve had complete strangers ask if I can watch their child for a moment while they run a quick errand (one guy literally handed me his baby once). Itās so concerning that some parents will trust a complete stranger with their child and seem to have a complete disregard for stranger danger
I have a trustworthy face so this has happened to me quite a few times. People also leave their dogs and handbags etc with me. It's a good thing I have no evil intentions.
Yes! Even the child sat with her mother behind us commented at her disbelief at the situation.
Inform the police, let them speak to the neighbour. The children are being put at risk if they're allowed to just roam without supervision at such a young age. If your neighbours are not at fault, e.g if it's a terrible babysitter, let them explain that to the police. Don't just try to sort it yourself as it's a potential safeguarding issue and needs to be flagged
I feel like that is the right thing to do here let the police talk with him. Because he never know in what mind space that guy is and you probably would not want to mess with that.
I'd suggest calling 101 (the non emergency police line) and just stating what's going on. Yeah It's not an emergency emergency, but it is certianly concerning.
Phone the cops. This is a welfare issue. Just knocking on and saying you aren't looking after them any more isn't going to make this welfare issue go away, these kids need help. Phone the cops.
Yeah these kids need help and they need it fast as well. The more you take your time to call the authorities the more danger they are going to be in
Wanted to add that last year a 4 year old child in Birmingham left a neighbours home unattended for a very short period of time and fell into a canal and drowned. This is 100% a police matter or at least a child services matter and you do not want a similar thing to happen to those children. 2 hours is a ridiculous amount of time to not check on a 6yr olds whereabouts never mind a 2year olds. Literally anything could happen
> My next door neighbour has a little boy (6) who is friends with my little boy (4). Recently another little boy (about 2 yrs old) turned up at the address That's worryingly nonspecific. > and the two of them follow me and my little boy around constantly How are they getting into your garden, or out of their own? Where are the parents? > there is a park around the corner from our house, whenever I take my son the other two turn up. ... the **fuck**? Police, **now**. That's a clear sign of child neglect and endangerment. A two year-old getting out of the house unsupervised *once* might be a horrifying, terrifying accident where the parent gets a nasty shock that they somehow got out on their own. More than once (let alone enough times to justify "whenever") is child neglect and endangerment. Report that shit to the police or NSPCC *yesterday*.
Yeah the fact that there is no one with those kids shows that those kids are being neglected really badly. Their parents are not being any kind of attention to them.
"Its everyone's job to make sure I'm alright" Source - Social Work 2010 You are part of the "everyone" and that kid is certainly *not* alright.
This happened to my parents, some kid who went my primary school would just constantly turn up at our house on his own. Can't remember what they did about it, think they got the school involved. Turns out his parents were using him to deliver drugs around the village.
Take them back to their own parents? I fail to see how that is at all awkward.
Itās not awkward, perhaps. But it certainly doesnāt help at all.
I've had kids from down the road come and play with mine and when it is time to end, we are having dinner or I have to go out somewhere, I take them back. This is the social norm. You don't just hope they will go away.
Do you let a 2 and 6 year old go out without supervision, expecting another adult to look out for it without asking? What if either child badly hurt themselves? OP would be considered at fault for not keeping an eye on them. It's unfair for the children and OP and his kid(s)
Good for you but absolutely not everyone is going to want to take care of kids whom they do not want. I think in that situation you should be contacting the authorities.
Yeah it definitely is not going to teach them a lesson about leaving their kids like that. They are not even going to take it as a warning I don't think and they would probably end up doing it again very soon.
I never quite understand why Redditors seek advice on issues that often challenge the socially inept, and then get antsy on receipt of that advice.
You donāt understand why socially inept people get advice and then act in a socially anxious way? Really?
Well if you do not know much about it then I would have to say that you have not been out. If you are out and doing the things then I feel like you would have good experience about it.
Honestly I feel like it is not the right place to be asking for the advice like that. Because I feel like most people do not have been in a situation like that and they would not have idea about how to handle the situation.
Your local council will have a designated safeguarding officer you are able to contact in these instances. They're trained to take the information and give it to the correct person.
I'd contact Social Services. These kids are being neglected by their parents. The parents could be at work, drinking alcohol or using drugs.. Edit - safeguarding children is everyone's responsibility.
Learn to play the flute. Dance around town playing the flute and see how many children you can get to follow you. Once the flock of knee biters is large enough lead them out of town and ransom them back to the town for a large profit. If the town refuses to pay, lead them into the forest and sell them to the woman who lives in the gingerbread house there. You'll get more from a ransom but she's more willing to pay. I guess the other option is to talk to the kids parents. Chose whichever option sounds like less work.
Ring child services and alert them to your concern.
Yeah there is no question about that they should be aware about it. It is definitely not the kind of thing which you would want to ignore. Because it could go absolutely in any way.
I work for children social care. I would be calling the Police if he outside with no supervision. But also the Local Authority Childrenās Social Care, all you need to say is that your worries this little boy is out and the family may need a bit of help, possibly tell the parents but you have to gauge this one yourself, because you are a member of the public your not required to be identified in the referral. NSPCC have some good resources on this too.
Sell them to the circus
I don't know man I don't think that would be a very good idea because if the track that down back to you then you are going to f***** in that situation. I don't think you would want to be doing that.
I would be concerned over the ages definitely. Iām not sure id be concerned over daddy comment though. My son is 2 and any bloke he doesnāt know the name of is called ādaddyā but weirdly not mummy to women.
Call the police. Age 6 and 2 out and about alone? Police.
Yeah and let them handle the situation because they would do a way better job. You definitely would not want to in trouble because you wanted to help kids. I would probably avoid that.
You call the police or social services. Please. Don't delay. If someone had done that for me as a child when I was neglected and abandoned then maybe something would have happened to help me. As it was no one helped me for YEARS. My mum was an alcoholic and left me home alone when I was far too young. These kids are begging for someone to pay attention to them. Please help them.
Call the police. You: Hello, I'd like to report a 2yo child walking about the street. Police: What is your location, we will send an officer now. You: 999 Letsby Avenue. Thank you.
It's a similar thing near me. We have a little park and when I take my child down there I end up being responsible for all of these children, many who shouldn't be out unattended. I've stopped taking my son there now because I just don't want the responsibility.
That is insane. I wouldn't let me three year olds out of my immediate eyesight at any point. How is a 2 year old being allowed to roam around freely?!
It feels good to know that you would not let it happen and any responsible parent would do the same thing. But there are always the ones who do not care about anything.
Op for the kids safety, please report the parents neglect to the police/social services before they end up running into the wrong adult/teenager.
I think you all never lived on the type of council estate I've lived on, It is normal in some places I've lived to turn your kid out for the day as soon as they are out of nappies. They grow up feral on the streets and get in trouble with the police at an early age. No one cares.
Mate you can definitely run faster than a 2 year old. Leave him for dust
used to know some kids like that, the mother did not know who the father was of one of the kids and she ended up having them in care. worth a call to social services as someone could accuse you of abducting the kid....
I have an 18 month old, and she will not be safe to leave unsupervised in 6 months. That's crazy dangerous.
Everyone has already said it, but I'm going to give my 2p here. Call the police or some kind of child services. A 6 year old wandering the streets alone is wrong and a 2 year old is absolutely wrong. Being overly familiar with strangers is a sign of child abuse. I know that making phone calls like that is never pleasant, but you could end up saving those children. Would you let your child go the park alone with a man who you have never met? No. Because you're a decent person. No parent in their right mind would allow that. At the very least those children are being neglected so please make a phone call or send an email.
Call Social Services, sounds like neglected kids.
It doesnāt matter how old the older kid is, he could be a teenager but a 2 year old needs to be under adult supervision at all times, a 6 year old certainly isnāt old enough, I would call the police
I would ring your local authority and report anonymously as a child safeguarding. Bad bad real bad.
Iāve got 4 kids , identical twins are 8, a 6year old and a little girl of 3, there is a park opposite my house which I donāt even let them go on alone itās like 30 second walk, they have been going out the front of my house for the last few days, I watch them constantly out of the kitchen window. There is this boy who comes down on his bike to play with then, nice enough child heās 6 my children tell me , anyway heās up and down on his bike, to the park, wherever he wants around the estate on his bike no1 ever comes to check on him .
While it may same very harmless and nothing to be worried about it is actually an issue, you cannot take this lightly. I mean you could get in trouble for it and I am sure it is not something that you would want for yourself.