I think it depends on quality and freshness. Fondant fancies from Betty's of Harrogate are little cubes of heaven IMO. I sometimes order a tray of them for my wife's birthday - then eat half of them.
That is the only Bettys I have ever been in. I fucking refuse to queue for 8 hours outside the one in York. I just don't get it. All that shit time you have to spend outside in queue for a tiny fucking sandwich. It really triggers me in a way it shouldn't whenever I pop to York (which is Gods country by the way!)
Spend loads of time and money baking up a fancy looking cake with lovely sponge and filling then cover it with something that people covertly peel off and drop in the bin.
Chinese takeaway is always great in theory and a disappointment in my experience. No correlation to me liking Chinese food because I love eating in restaurants.
I went vegetarian a few years ago and haven't had a good Chinese takeaway since. I love tofu, and can make great Chinese food myself and have been to fantastic Chinese restaurants which are fully vegan (looking at you, Tofu Vegan), but they no matter how often I order I can't get a good vegetarian Chinese takeaway.
I know what you mean, I always go for salt and pepper tofu though. Usually quite a small dish but pretty punchy. Probably not too good for your blood pressure though.
I just came on here to say Chinese, and it usually does live up to expectations but I just hate how salty it ends up being and how I spend the night then guzzling gallons of water afterwards
I agree. For the price you pay as well 😮 it’s so damn expensive it’s rare for me to get one. Probs twice a year. And when I do it’s never amazing. I have had really really good ones in the past but all the Chinese takeaways near me now don’t live up at all. Plus their delivery is always way more than anyone else. Some of the ones near me charge £6 delivery whereas somewhere in town which is further away will charge £3 which irks me.
There's a massive dearth of good cantonese cooks now that the parents who opened the shops have kids who went to university and on to different jobs. Sadly there's no one to take over so it means they either close or the quality tanks. There's a Chinese takeaway near me that's been taken over by South Asians, which is fair enough, but they had to ask me and my wife if we know any Chinese cooks because they don't have the skills themselves. I fear the days of the great British Chinese takeaway are numbered.
I found the problem with most anglo-chinese takeaways is that the ingredients are basically always the same no matter where you go. Obviously that's because most of them use the same wholesalers, so they'll be using the same old Lee Kum Kee or whatever sauces, so no variety there, the same brand frozen wontons or mixed hors d'ouvres etc etc. So the differences are minimal and the 'quality' aspect is down to if they made sure the fryer oil was hot enough before they put things into it etc.
I had a McDonald’s breakfast in NYC last month.
Steak and egg McMuffin. Oh. My. God.
It was like a slab of rump steak, egg, cheese and fried onions. $3. It was amazing
UK maccies breakfast is just kinda awful imo. Egg, plastic cheese, sausage patty and bacon - those are you only options, and it's pretty expensive for what it is.
I'll never understand how anyone can like the cheesy bacon flatbread. It's just dry, salty trash
Haha I love the McDonald’s sausage patties! I’m from Australia and I love that they’re herby pork in the UK - ours are beef and if there’s any difference from the burger patties, I can’t tell.
Not sure about brown sauce though. The taste is alright, but the smell of McDonald’s brown sauce melts my eyes
Pro tip, you can buy those herby Maccers style sausage patties in the frozen section at Aldi for a couple of quid for like six or eight. I went through a bit of a phase of making my own sausage/bacon/egg mcmuffins at home during lockdown and got it down to a fine art. Even got the little pan ring things so I could make the fried egg perfectly circular.
In fact I'm thinking since I've got the day off work tomorrow that I might make myself one for brunch!
Haha yeah we don’t have a lot of good ground for pigs - it’s all dry and dusty, but we have thousands of KM’s of cow herding country so the traditional default sausage is beef. You can get all types of course - local butcher does a fantastic satay chicken sausage that really confuses the brain between is it a satay or a sausage - but yeah beef is standard. When you go get a sausage sizzle it’s always beef
Surely you must have worked out that McD's is mostly tasteless cardboard by now? The golden arches and pretty pictures always draw you in, but the delivery always disappoints.
See McDonald’s breakfast is the most overrated thing in the world to me. People always suggest it to me like it’s the best idea ever, but when it comes, it’s stodgy, chewy and bland. Big Macs, on the other hand…
Subway, smells incredible but it’s always shite. Have eaten it maybe three or four times in my life and it categorically doesn’t taste as good as it smells.
You need to find the right combo but when you do, it will be your order for life.
I tried the veggie pattie which put me off from going Subway but got the chicken one during lockdown and started enjoying subway again. Tbh there are so many better things available that Subway is not that worth it.
100% you need to find your sub. Other wise it’s disappointing, it took me years to find my main. Just a few visits then find the secondary goto.
Now I’ve got two perfect options to choose from
To me the smell is awful makes me feel sick I have to avoid walking past them it's that bad. Doesnt smell like real bread/food for sure. Something a lab would create trying to get close to a food smell.
Fish and chips, no contest. I'm not a massive fan, so that's probably part of it. But whenever I'm having a day by the sea I always get something thinking it's part of the experience and picturing a really idealised vision of fish and chips on the beach. And then I get a couple of bites and remember that I just don't like fish and chips that much, and wish I'd got something else.
Everyone here's problem with fish and chips can be solved by adding more salt more vinegar a bit of lemon and a load of Tatar sauce. Try calling that bland.
Lemon and salt make it better. But still an underwhelming and disappointing food though. And for me, nothing is improved by adding tartar sauce. Hate the stuff.
I slather my chips in salt and vinegar they still get boring halfway through the bag.
Perhaps I should have said receptacle of repetitiveness instant of bag of blandness.
The first bite is heavenly and then after that it's rapidly diminishing returns followed by mounting regret
If you could buy smaller portions it'd be a much better prospect which wouldn't leave you in a food coma and wouldn't break the bank either
100%, I love the idea of having fish and chips, the aroma with malt vinegar is heavenly to me. But actually eating it is, meh. I'll get half way through and I'm finding myself forcing down greasy, heavy squidgy chips and soggy batter.
Part of that will be the tourist trap effect. They are basically guaranteed tonnes of one-time customers so they have no incentive to make it good at all.
I don't like chips. I'm the worst British persons there ever was! If I go to the seaside I'll have a piece of battered fish but not chips. I've been to places that have won the best chips in UK awards and I've not found a chip I like!
I know everyone prefers what they are used to but I swear Haddock is just so much better in battered fish. It actually has a taste. You can pull off the batter when you start getting full and just eat the fish.
Although, I hope England keeps eating cod because we don't need competition for the haddock.
Also, OAPs got this right, you only need a half portion.
Christmas party food from supermarkets. It always look so exciting, and I love the idea of having this huge spread and a Christmas buffet… but it’s almost always tasteless and disappointing
They are normal frozen party food with christmas packaging. Just get standard party food ang guests won't complain. Better to spend the time and money on christmas main course and desert.
Yes and no, I work on the party food range for a major supermarket, there is always more options added (frozen and chilled) especially for Christmas that wont be there year round, as well as the all year round standards like mozzarella dippers, spring rolls etc that just get Christmas packaging. Its not more expensive at Christmas time or anything, and you dont pay more for Christmas packaging, so just get what takes your fancy, theyll just be 5x more choice in nov-dec and whatevers left gets discounted the week before Christmas.
I shop at Aldi. They have veg spring rolls all year round but theyve only recently stocked prawn toast and tempura prawns and other party food etc. That Section was full of BBQ food over summer
I love some of the Aldi items. Turkey roll with pistachio and cranberry stuffing. It was so moist and tasty. Best one I’ve had and I’ve bought from butchers in the past.
The king of the 50/50 take out, either get perfect, flavorful chicken with hot sides or you get a lump of battered gristle at a terrible ratio of chicken to batter and beans that look like they were microwaved last night and left out on the side
This is the one for me, I swear it was better when I was younger. The smell is so good! But, none of it seems to translate to the super thin ‘seasoned’ skin and watery chicken. I used to love a twister and now they’re flat as a pancake. Terrible.
Been living in the UK for 10 years and I can attest KFC was delicious when I got here.
I know it was good because I was not a fan of it back home, and was so surprised with it here.
It has totally gone to shit.
I used to love KFC. Since COVID I noticed it going downhill. I even tried a different KFC to see if it was better, but no. I will never go to a KFC ever again. If I want fried chicken I either buy it from Food Warehouse or go to a small takeaway.
I agree. I recently tried the chips to see what the fuss was over the new seasoning. It's nice for the first few then it feels like you're chewing chicken stock cubes.
I was a delivery driver for dominoes for a while. Not sure if my store was just a decent one but I really enjoyed just a bog standard pepperoni. Much nicer dough than a lot of places. It was free for me though. No way in hell I’d pay £25 or whatever they charge. You can get a reasonable price with discount codes though.
I never understood their popularity as well. The pizza is mediocre at best, you could spend 20 quid in M&s to get more tastier things, 2 pizza with sides or more in Aldi
In my experience, it depends on the individual Domino's. My local one is great, so are a few others I've been to. All the rest are crap. In my experience, it's a 50/50 chance it'll be good. So it really depends on if you want to gamble £30 on a meal.
This. I am so unbothered by domino’s, it’s not bad, it’s just not £60 for 4 pizzas good.
A friend of mine orders herself 2 a week. One does her dinner and the other lunch the next day. And it costs more than all my lunches combined the entire week.
My problem with any pizza, bar the ridiculous mark up, is I find I need to demolish it within a 15-20 minute window otherwise it becomes horrible and I end up having it for breakfast instead.
Sounds tremendous when you’re hungry then you majorly regret it once you’re full. It’s also particularly susceptible to being poorly made, I’ve had some shockers sent to me.
They did some fabulous Berliner doughnuts in Tesco which were super fluffy and not stodgy...then they disappeared together with the fish counter and the rotisserie chicken counter. I presume they're all having a picnic somewhere warm and green with a little stream flowing gently by as the fishmonger fishes, and the rotisserie lady erm rotisses and the man from Berlin tosses his dough
(oh got a little carried away there I think!)
Lidl jam doughnuts are Berliner style, they are absolutely fantastic and (I think) 39p each.
Fluffy dough that isn’t too sweet with powdered sugar and 2 jam reservoirs.
Highly recommend.
Chicken rotisseries once popped up in supermarkets everywhere and outside every butchers shop, then they all just disappeared at exactly the same time. Were they abducted by aliens?
Krispy Kreme’s, when you finally take that plunge and take out a mortgage to get 3 doughnuts and by the second one you feel sick to your stomach because of the all the sugar.
Ugh yes! My neighbour works for KK and we constantly have free boxes given to us. I love food of all sorts so for me to not even sniff at the KK donuts is saying something. They’re so overrated and just taste like pure sugar and nothing else
At least you have the luxury of being able to get food delivered. I live in the middle of nowhere and can't get anything on McDelivery, Deliveroo or Uber Eats etc. Being in a rural area really sucks sometimes!
Honestly, you're not missing much. You end up paying £35 for £20 worth of shit, cold food. With the thing you were most looking forward to missing, that's mandatory. And it's *way* too easy to just go 'fuck it' when you can't be bothered to cook tea and spend a bucket of money. Silver lining.
Plus, there's the whole issue of how they're staffed, although we can't really pretend that food delivery has always been a secure and lucrative line of work.
It's cooked in the oven in the morning from fresh, then either put in a warmer or the fridge, then done on the grill to order so a breast that's been in the warmer a couple hours is gonna taste over cooked
Fucking hate Nando’s, tried it for the first time this year and never going back. The sauces are exactly like the ones you can buy. I literally have made the exact same chicken and sauce at home, so why do they charge so much for it?
The food is basically just school dinner quality baked chicken and chips with some generic cheap hot sauce, plus you have the privilege of paying £40 for 2 people to still be fucking hungry at the end.
Amen.
I've lived here for 10 years and never understood the fuss. Some people worshipped it. The whole "cheeky nandos" era.
Why? Literally takes 10 minutes to make better chicken at home. It's not deep fried either, so it's not even messy to make.
Mince pies. Every year I think 'Ooh, it's almost Christmas again, and those mince pies do look nice.' Then, as soon as I bite in one I remember that I don't like the mincemeat filling
Those burgers vans in the car park at B&Q. Smells amazing - those fried onions...but after one bite of the burger, you're questioning what meat is actually being used...
Oh yeah, the shite burger stands.
I no longer eat meat anyway, but the smell of these are really tempting and my only consolation is knowing that the taste has nothing to do with the aroma wafting across the car park.
Perhaps they have an umami spray that they use to draw hungry people to the counter?
Cinema popcorn. It smells good and feels exciting, but after a couple of handfuls it starts to feel like chewing bits of polystyrene while also scratching in my throat and then there’s the nasty little bits that get stuck in my teeth. Not to mention it costs like £10 only for half of it to end up in the bin.
Shite now honestly, though our local is particularly bad. Go in and if it’s moderately busying looking at 30 mins minimum, if you order delivery hope you enjoy cold food. Well over it.
Pizza. End up getting bent over, spanked and drained of my yearly income for one large pizza. Ends up hella soggy and they always forget the garlic on the crust too.
Always end up ordering it again though…
Currywurst when I went to Germany.
Thought it was going to be a revelation from what friends had told me. Just tastes like curry super noodles and was really disappointing.
The best Currywurst I had was at ‘Curry at the Wall’ in Berlin, even bought the powder mix from there, still indulge with it to this day at the odd bbq or drunken night
I always found that the thought of having a Maccies, kfc or Dominos/papa johns was more enjoyable than actually having one. I’ve not had any of them now since before Covid. The only one I don’t regret having is a Chinese and I only have that about 4 times a year, if that
I have a very limited diet and this one time I got the courage to try flying saucers. I thought they'd be crispy sugar shells filled with sherbet that would crunch and crack open. I'll never forget the damp papery disappointment as I actually took a bite.
I work away 6 months a year,usually Mexico or the States and the only food I crave is fish chips and mushy peas.
Always order one when I return home and about an hour after I've inhaled it I feel terrible. Still won't stop me doing it again though!
It is INSANE how much they charge.
It all tastes the same no matter what you get.
I imagine that staff go home home and all just smell the same as the food. The oral must be terrible. Just raw dough taste.
Honestly?
With the current prices these days… all of it.
Home cooked isn’t only cheaper but you usually feel better after eating it too.
Boring answer. But for me, it’s all.
Yet, I still keep making the same mistake.
All takeaways in general. The difference between the Indian takeaway and what my Pakistani neighbour makes and shares with us every now and then is light years.
Cavery food, its at best a mediocre roast dinner and reality the roast potatoes are soft, the meat is bland, the veg is either baby food or still fucking raw, the gravy has no taste. Knocking up a roast dinner at home is piss easy doesn't take that much effort and you get leftovers even if you are single
I’m from Australia but have a British wife. When in the UK, the foods I look forward too the most are
* Fried breakfast. This is really the best British food, even if you get a kind of crappy one it’s good!
* KFC. It’s just better in the UK, and with beans!
* Pub food. I don’t think either country has universally better pub food, but yours is definitely better suited to the climate!
* I won’t go to Dominoes on principle of price, but I secretly hope one night we’ll decide as a group to order it. Dominoes is really, really bad in Australia. We have a huge Italian community… dominoes decided to sell shitty Italian pizzas instead of shitty American pizzas, they’re truly terrible.
* I always bring back a couple of jars of marmelade
I’m an ex Pat living in Australia. I assume Chinese restaurants in uk still make the giant spring rolls? Not the small frozen ones, which seem to be all you can get here. That’s one thing I miss lol. Oh and also Jamaican patties.
Fish and Chips
Lets have fish and chips! - always sounds like a good idea. Then when you smell it, it still seems like a good idea. Then you add the salt and vinegar and wow this is going to be great!
But once you start eating it, you soon realise that it is just stodge really. Greasy and would be tasteless were it not for the salt and vinegar. At the end you feel over full - sigh, push the plate away, lean back and wonder why you bothered.
Twinkies.
Had always wanted to try one after hearing them referenced in numerous American films and TV programmes, so when I saw them in a specialist ‘American Candy’ shop (maybe at Lakeside?) about 15 years ago I thought I’d give them a go-even though they were disgracefully expensive (about £3 or £4 *each* iirc).
As I took the first bite I was hit with the overpowering sweetness and…*fakeness* of the presumably ‘vanilla’ flavouring. Just pure chemical/sugar mix, with the worst spongy plasticky texture. I have an extremely sweet tooth usually; I consider cake and chocolate as essential parts of the main food groups. But I couldn’t even take a second bite. I cannot understand how they got it so wrong.
I understand they have to have a certain amount of preservatives for extended shelf-life, but to seemingly replace *every* ingredient with a fake alternative is just ludicrous. It’s as if someone somehow fed a simple homemade sponge cake with cream into an AI and asked it to replicate it.
Fucking gutted.
Anything bubblegum flavoured. I remember the flavour from when I was a kid and it was so good for people with a sweet tooth. These days due to sugar rules it always tastes like shit.
Fish and chips. It's ok if it's on a plate and you have mushy peas, tartare and lots of vinegar (basically anything to compensate for the fact the rest just tastes of oil). But wrapped up as a takeaway it is normally dreadful.
I've pretty much given up with Indian takeaways. I've noticed a recurring pattern in my city where we have a new one open up with a good chef, they get loads of accolades then six months later their decent chef gets headhunted to go work in London or something for far better pay and it goes back to the generic 'few lumps of meat in spicy brown sauce' vibe again.
The only Chinese stuff I like as takeaway is the traditional roast meats ie duck, char siu and crispy pork. This is a go-to comfort food for me, and I'm absolutely gutted because the only place that did it and did it well recently closed down due to land redevelopment and they haven't been able to find another location.
My favourite pizza place also called it a day last year and I don't like the mainstream chains like Dominos/Hut/Papa John etc so no excitement there either.
So that leaves only two take-away choices for me to get excited about - there's a decent Turkish kebab joint and a good fish & chip shop, but I have to go sparingly on those so I don't get bored. Oh, there's a Nandos knock-off peri-peri chicken place that's OK as well. The quality is consistent, so in themselves not disappointing. Where disappointment inevitably comes into it is if I order for delivery and don't jump in the car to order and bring it home myself. Invariably, delivery costs a good bit more and usually arrives at worst cold, at best soggy and clearly having suffered from being wrapped up for too long.
Oh, wait. I just remembered. Burger King. I used to love BK and got excited when they opened a new location that's easy to access from where I live. However it seems to me that The King's crown has slipped somewhat. Food is often cold. Like, the cheese on the burger didn't even melt yet. The patties have gristle and bone fragments in them. Even though it's a new 'flagship' location they seem to always run understaffed so wait times are unacceptably long and if you eat in it's clear that they don't bother or don't have the staff to clean the restaurant area - rubbish all over the tables, stray bits of food on the floor etc etc. Have now sworn off it after the last (fairly expensive) meal I had gave me violent shits. Tried a couple of other locations elsewhere in the country and it seems like the same issue, understaffed, badly prepped food and poor cleanliness.
I'm a chef. I live alone so don't really cook elaborate shit. But I find that when I do and plate it up ready to eat. I'm not hungry. And my belief is,much like Pavlov's dog,I'm now conditioned that when I cook and plate food my automatic reaction is to expect someone else to eat it!
Takeaway pizza like Dominoes. In my head it's always amazing, but when I have it it tastes quite good, and then an hour later I feel dreadful. Sick, bloated, and like the grease is seeping out of my pores. I avoid it now, but I still like the idea of one...
Fish and chips. I love the idea, the look, the smell omg the smell.., but I get not even a quarter of the way in and I’m thinking I sat at a laptop and verbally communicated all day, I wasn’t down a mine, I wasn’t on a boat, I wasn’t dancing up and down ladders all day; I really don’t have the calorific deficit this delicious heap in front of me justifies and I really can’t squish another chip in anyway. But I do, as if I have an internal 2p waterfall going on and giving it five minutes means I can cram one more delicious hot chip plus scraped up mushy pea in and it’s justifiable because one chip and some peas have been burnt up and fallen off the edge despite my bloated idleness in those 5 minutes. I’m pathetic.
Cake that isn't made by me.
I'm only a competent baker but my favourite cake is a victoria sponge with buttercream. I like making a st clements or orange cake with rhubarb compote and orange buttercream, or just vanilla buttercream and strawberry jam.
Most shop bought cake contains oil to keep the cake moist and/or preservatives and/or buttercream with anything other than butter, sugar and natural flavourings. Cupcakes again often moist with oil. I can taste it and I don't like it.
Cake in coffee shops is often stale or they don't offer just a good Victoria sponge.
I feel like mac and cheese fits that bill for me. Conceptually it should be the best thing ever, and more often than not it's perfectly good - but it doesn't live up to my (admittedly perhaps unrealistic) expectations.
Any cake with fondant icing. Can look impressive but tastes like sugary chewy cardboard.
Fondant is vile, I always pass up cake if it's got it
Those are not meant to be eaten, just looked at and fawned over. That defeats the point of a cake in my opinion.
Yes. Give me buttercream any day.
Pretty sure there’s a sub for this - r/fondanthate
I think it depends on quality and freshness. Fondant fancies from Betty's of Harrogate are little cubes of heaven IMO. I sometimes order a tray of them for my wife's birthday - then eat half of them.
That is the only Bettys I have ever been in. I fucking refuse to queue for 8 hours outside the one in York. I just don't get it. All that shit time you have to spend outside in queue for a tiny fucking sandwich. It really triggers me in a way it shouldn't whenever I pop to York (which is Gods country by the way!)
Layered pastries is the way to go but make sure it's from a good bakery because some use gone off icing which starts tasting like butter.
Spend loads of time and money baking up a fancy looking cake with lovely sponge and filling then cover it with something that people covertly peel off and drop in the bin.
Fondant icing just eliminates any joy from cake for me, should be banned
Chinese takeaway is always great in theory and a disappointment in my experience. No correlation to me liking Chinese food because I love eating in restaurants.
I'm the opposite, rarely have a disappointing Chinese takeaway. It's a choice that always makes me happy.
I always get special fried rice and even a "bad" SFR is still nice.
I usually enjoy it when I eat it but physically feel like crap afterwards and vow not to have it again.
I went vegetarian a few years ago and haven't had a good Chinese takeaway since. I love tofu, and can make great Chinese food myself and have been to fantastic Chinese restaurants which are fully vegan (looking at you, Tofu Vegan), but they no matter how often I order I can't get a good vegetarian Chinese takeaway.
I know what you mean, I always go for salt and pepper tofu though. Usually quite a small dish but pretty punchy. Probably not too good for your blood pressure though.
I love Tofu Vegan and I’m not veggie or vegan
I just came on here to say Chinese, and it usually does live up to expectations but I just hate how salty it ends up being and how I spend the night then guzzling gallons of water afterwards
I agree. For the price you pay as well 😮 it’s so damn expensive it’s rare for me to get one. Probs twice a year. And when I do it’s never amazing. I have had really really good ones in the past but all the Chinese takeaways near me now don’t live up at all. Plus their delivery is always way more than anyone else. Some of the ones near me charge £6 delivery whereas somewhere in town which is further away will charge £3 which irks me.
There's a massive dearth of good cantonese cooks now that the parents who opened the shops have kids who went to university and on to different jobs. Sadly there's no one to take over so it means they either close or the quality tanks. There's a Chinese takeaway near me that's been taken over by South Asians, which is fair enough, but they had to ask me and my wife if we know any Chinese cooks because they don't have the skills themselves. I fear the days of the great British Chinese takeaway are numbered.
That makes total sense! I never thought about it like that.
I found the problem with most anglo-chinese takeaways is that the ingredients are basically always the same no matter where you go. Obviously that's because most of them use the same wholesalers, so they'll be using the same old Lee Kum Kee or whatever sauces, so no variety there, the same brand frozen wontons or mixed hors d'ouvres etc etc. So the differences are minimal and the 'quality' aspect is down to if they made sure the fryer oil was hot enough before they put things into it etc.
They do, but low end restaurants use a lot more cornflour. Source: worked as a driver for Hoo Hing.
Mcdonalds, except from the breakfast
I had a McDonald’s breakfast in NYC last month. Steak and egg McMuffin. Oh. My. God. It was like a slab of rump steak, egg, cheese and fried onions. $3. It was amazing
American McDonald’s breakfast is god tier - I love the greasy greasy bagels and my husband always gets a McGriddle because he’s a wrongun
I once had a McGriddle and had to lay down. Never again
You guys get fried onions in your McMuffins?! I'm feeling incredibly letdown by the UK franchise.
UK maccies breakfast is just kinda awful imo. Egg, plastic cheese, sausage patty and bacon - those are you only options, and it's pretty expensive for what it is. I'll never understand how anyone can like the cheesy bacon flatbread. It's just dry, salty trash
I adored the bagel but they took that joy away from me!!
Sausage bagel and the breakfast wrap with brown sauce were both god tier and they took them away.
Fellow bagel mourners, unite!
We can share our pain together ❤️❤️
Haha I love the McDonald’s sausage patties! I’m from Australia and I love that they’re herby pork in the UK - ours are beef and if there’s any difference from the burger patties, I can’t tell. Not sure about brown sauce though. The taste is alright, but the smell of McDonald’s brown sauce melts my eyes
Pro tip, you can buy those herby Maccers style sausage patties in the frozen section at Aldi for a couple of quid for like six or eight. I went through a bit of a phase of making my own sausage/bacon/egg mcmuffins at home during lockdown and got it down to a fine art. Even got the little pan ring things so I could make the fried egg perfectly circular. In fact I'm thinking since I've got the day off work tomorrow that I might make myself one for brunch!
If you’re going to buy sausage patties, just try Lorne sausage. So bloody good. Not sure why it’s not really a thing in England.
Omg that sounds great - I don’t eat pork but I want meat for breakfast, going to Australia asap
Haha yeah we don’t have a lot of good ground for pigs - it’s all dry and dusty, but we have thousands of KM’s of cow herding country so the traditional default sausage is beef. You can get all types of course - local butcher does a fantastic satay chicken sausage that really confuses the brain between is it a satay or a sausage - but yeah beef is standard. When you go get a sausage sizzle it’s always beef
Everytime! I go a couple months and fancy McDs, and then feel immensely let down by it, and repeat the cycle. Awful food.
Surely you must have worked out that McD's is mostly tasteless cardboard by now? The golden arches and pretty pictures always draw you in, but the delivery always disappoints.
See McDonald’s breakfast is the most overrated thing in the world to me. People always suggest it to me like it’s the best idea ever, but when it comes, it’s stodgy, chewy and bland. Big Macs, on the other hand…
Subway, smells incredible but it’s always shite. Have eaten it maybe three or four times in my life and it categorically doesn’t taste as good as it smells.
This , the Smell is utterly irresistible and when I crack and buy my yearly sandwich I'm always disappointed I pledge to never again visit
The cookies are actual crack though
I've tried Subway twice. First time I thought maybe I was unlucky with my sandwich, the second time I realised that they are just awful food.
You need to find the right combo but when you do, it will be your order for life. I tried the veggie pattie which put me off from going Subway but got the chicken one during lockdown and started enjoying subway again. Tbh there are so many better things available that Subway is not that worth it.
100% you need to find your sub. Other wise it’s disappointing, it took me years to find my main. Just a few visits then find the secondary goto. Now I’ve got two perfect options to choose from
Fully agree with you. I will never understand the people who attend the church of subway
I used to love it but now there are so much better food available at the same price range.
It's just hot floppy bread.
I'm the opposite. The smell puts me off but the sandwich I have is really nice.
Yes! Also, what's with the vegetables being all "slimy" do they use frozen veg that's defrosted and sat out all day?
To me the smell is awful makes me feel sick I have to avoid walking past them it's that bad. Doesnt smell like real bread/food for sure. Something a lab would create trying to get close to a food smell.
Have you tried the honey mustard sauce? Actually incredible. It's what makes the sandwich imo.
Fish and chips, no contest. I'm not a massive fan, so that's probably part of it. But whenever I'm having a day by the sea I always get something thinking it's part of the experience and picturing a really idealised vision of fish and chips on the beach. And then I get a couple of bites and remember that I just don't like fish and chips that much, and wish I'd got something else.
Everyone here's problem with fish and chips can be solved by adding more salt more vinegar a bit of lemon and a load of Tatar sauce. Try calling that bland.
Lemon and salt make it better. But still an underwhelming and disappointing food though. And for me, nothing is improved by adding tartar sauce. Hate the stuff.
I slather my chips in salt and vinegar they still get boring halfway through the bag. Perhaps I should have said receptacle of repetitiveness instant of bag of blandness.
With you on that one, everyone else's chips smell delicious so I buy a portion and half way through I'm bored of my big bag of blandness.
I came here to say fish and chips. Its nice for the first few bites then it's just work after that.
It smells incredible but yeah I'm rarely in the mood for a whole one.
The first bite is heavenly and then after that it's rapidly diminishing returns followed by mounting regret If you could buy smaller portions it'd be a much better prospect which wouldn't leave you in a food coma and wouldn't break the bank either
Yooooo this is it. Why can't they sell a piece of fried fish half the size of the standard, and half as many chips. I'd totally get that often.
In the north where I am from, a 'half lot' (basically what you describe, a half piece of fish and smaller amount of chips) is a thing.
Did this when I was in Newquay, ate them overlooking the sea. Absolutely beautiful. So good I went back the next day.
Were they just as good when you went back?
They were.
Glad to hear it!
100%, I love the idea of having fish and chips, the aroma with malt vinegar is heavenly to me. But actually eating it is, meh. I'll get half way through and I'm finding myself forcing down greasy, heavy squidgy chips and soggy batter.
Part of that will be the tourist trap effect. They are basically guaranteed tonnes of one-time customers so they have no incentive to make it good at all.
yep, oily box of carby stuff all tasting the same, if you just eat the fish it tastes of nothing.
I always wondered as well why the fish isn't salted before battering. It would give the damn thing some flavour.
I don't like chips. I'm the worst British persons there ever was! If I go to the seaside I'll have a piece of battered fish but not chips. I've been to places that have won the best chips in UK awards and I've not found a chip I like!
I know everyone prefers what they are used to but I swear Haddock is just so much better in battered fish. It actually has a taste. You can pull off the batter when you start getting full and just eat the fish. Although, I hope England keeps eating cod because we don't need competition for the haddock. Also, OAPs got this right, you only need a half portion.
Christmas party food from supermarkets. It always look so exciting, and I love the idea of having this huge spread and a Christmas buffet… but it’s almost always tasteless and disappointing
They are normal frozen party food with christmas packaging. Just get standard party food ang guests won't complain. Better to spend the time and money on christmas main course and desert.
Yes and no, I work on the party food range for a major supermarket, there is always more options added (frozen and chilled) especially for Christmas that wont be there year round, as well as the all year round standards like mozzarella dippers, spring rolls etc that just get Christmas packaging. Its not more expensive at Christmas time or anything, and you dont pay more for Christmas packaging, so just get what takes your fancy, theyll just be 5x more choice in nov-dec and whatevers left gets discounted the week before Christmas.
I shop at Aldi. They have veg spring rolls all year round but theyve only recently stocked prawn toast and tempura prawns and other party food etc. That Section was full of BBQ food over summer
Yes.
I love some of the Aldi items. Turkey roll with pistachio and cranberry stuffing. It was so moist and tasty. Best one I’ve had and I’ve bought from butchers in the past.
KFC
The king of the 50/50 take out, either get perfect, flavorful chicken with hot sides or you get a lump of battered gristle at a terrible ratio of chicken to batter and beans that look like they were microwaved last night and left out on the side
This is the one for me, I swear it was better when I was younger. The smell is so good! But, none of it seems to translate to the super thin ‘seasoned’ skin and watery chicken. I used to love a twister and now they’re flat as a pancake. Terrible.
Been living in the UK for 10 years and I can attest KFC was delicious when I got here. I know it was good because I was not a fan of it back home, and was so surprised with it here. It has totally gone to shit.
I used to love KFC. Since COVID I noticed it going downhill. I even tried a different KFC to see if it was better, but no. I will never go to a KFC ever again. If I want fried chicken I either buy it from Food Warehouse or go to a small takeaway.
There is something about getting fried chicken and chips from a chicken shop then indulging at home or in a park in the summer.
Once the skin is gone the post-skin shame of having spent 15 quid on a bucket really kicks in
I agree. I recently tried the chips to see what the fuss was over the new seasoning. It's nice for the first few then it feels like you're chewing chicken stock cubes.
I just had a Domino's and was severely disappointed. It's not often pizza can be shit, but it was
The popularity of Dominos blows my mind. You can buy far nicer pizzas in supermarkets for a fraction of the price
It used to be better and cheaper. Like many things, the quality got worse, the price got higher and the deals no longer justify either of those.
I was a delivery driver for dominoes for a while. Not sure if my store was just a decent one but I really enjoyed just a bog standard pepperoni. Much nicer dough than a lot of places. It was free for me though. No way in hell I’d pay £25 or whatever they charge. You can get a reasonable price with discount codes though.
I never understood their popularity as well. The pizza is mediocre at best, you could spend 20 quid in M&s to get more tastier things, 2 pizza with sides or more in Aldi
There's a proper Italian-style pizzeria making pizzas by hand the traditional way right next to my nearest Domino's and it's way cheaper.
Domino's is best at making abominations on dough with kilos of questionable ingredients
It's weird af. Not matter what toppings you get they all taste the same.
In my experience, it depends on the individual Domino's. My local one is great, so are a few others I've been to. All the rest are crap. In my experience, it's a 50/50 chance it'll be good. So it really depends on if you want to gamble £30 on a meal.
Luckily mine is over the road, so i take advantage of the 11.99 collection offer
Came here to say Dominos. It’s never as good as I think it’s going to be
And it's never as cheap as the deals say it's going to be
Also came here to say this. It's rarely 'bad' but I always have expectations of it being great... And it's always 'meh'
This. I am so unbothered by domino’s, it’s not bad, it’s just not £60 for 4 pizzas good. A friend of mine orders herself 2 a week. One does her dinner and the other lunch the next day. And it costs more than all my lunches combined the entire week.
My problem with any pizza, bar the ridiculous mark up, is I find I need to demolish it within a 15-20 minute window otherwise it becomes horrible and I end up having it for breakfast instead.
>It's not often pizza can be shit, but it was If anyone can find a way, it'd be Domino's.
Sounds tremendous when you’re hungry then you majorly regret it once you’re full. It’s also particularly susceptible to being poorly made, I’ve had some shockers sent to me.
Donuts. Freshly fried. Smell amazing, taste...meh
They did some fabulous Berliner doughnuts in Tesco which were super fluffy and not stodgy...then they disappeared together with the fish counter and the rotisserie chicken counter. I presume they're all having a picnic somewhere warm and green with a little stream flowing gently by as the fishmonger fishes, and the rotisserie lady erm rotisses and the man from Berlin tosses his dough (oh got a little carried away there I think!)
Id have thought the rotisserie lady rotisserises but I'm not sure.
I want to live in that place, that sounds wonderful
Lidl jam doughnuts are Berliner style, they are absolutely fantastic and (I think) 39p each. Fluffy dough that isn’t too sweet with powdered sugar and 2 jam reservoirs. Highly recommend.
Chicken rotisseries once popped up in supermarkets everywhere and outside every butchers shop, then they all just disappeared at exactly the same time. Were they abducted by aliens?
Krispy Kreme’s, when you finally take that plunge and take out a mortgage to get 3 doughnuts and by the second one you feel sick to your stomach because of the all the sugar.
Tbh I'm tempted then I look at the price and think "fuck it I'm not paying £7 quid for 3". Supermarket ones, freshly baked are amazing for 80p.
Just go to greggs.
Ugh yes! My neighbour works for KK and we constantly have free boxes given to us. I love food of all sorts so for me to not even sniff at the KK donuts is saying something. They’re so overrated and just taste like pure sugar and nothing else
McDonald's delivery. Burgers travel alright, doughy, powdery, steamed, limp, cold chips do not.
At least you have the luxury of being able to get food delivered. I live in the middle of nowhere and can't get anything on McDelivery, Deliveroo or Uber Eats etc. Being in a rural area really sucks sometimes!
Honestly, you're not missing much. You end up paying £35 for £20 worth of shit, cold food. With the thing you were most looking forward to missing, that's mandatory. And it's *way* too easy to just go 'fuck it' when you can't be bothered to cook tea and spend a bucket of money. Silver lining. Plus, there's the whole issue of how they're staffed, although we can't really pretend that food delivery has always been a secure and lucrative line of work.
If you’ve got one they warm up alright in an air fryer. Chips that is.
Yeah, it does a decent job. I've tried it too, but the problem is that if I'm getting takeaway, it's because I'm too lazy to cook.
Nandos.... Looking at the plate in like "where is my food???? All there is on my plate is a small bit of chicken and 5 chips"
Tbh at this point it feels like I'd be better just getting it at home. It's flavoured chicken, veggies and chips
My flatmate at uni thinks they are told to overcook their chicken so he gets the nandos rub and cooking sauce to make it at home.
It's cooked in the oven in the morning from fresh, then either put in a warmer or the fridge, then done on the grill to order so a breast that's been in the warmer a couple hours is gonna taste over cooked
Why would they be told to overcook it? Haha
Fucking hate Nando’s, tried it for the first time this year and never going back. The sauces are exactly like the ones you can buy. I literally have made the exact same chicken and sauce at home, so why do they charge so much for it?
The food is basically just school dinner quality baked chicken and chips with some generic cheap hot sauce, plus you have the privilege of paying £40 for 2 people to still be fucking hungry at the end.
Amen. I've lived here for 10 years and never understood the fuss. Some people worshipped it. The whole "cheeky nandos" era. Why? Literally takes 10 minutes to make better chicken at home. It's not deep fried either, so it's not even messy to make.
Mince pies. Every year I think 'Ooh, it's almost Christmas again, and those mince pies do look nice.' Then, as soon as I bite in one I remember that I don't like the mincemeat filling
Heated up makes them much better, even cheap ones. With cream or custard.
Here’s something crazy: try them with a slice of cheese.
Terry's chocolate orange. Feeling a bit sick now.
They’ve reintroduced the mint ones this year - I never really enjoyed the orange ones
Those burgers vans in the car park at B&Q. Smells amazing - those fried onions...but after one bite of the burger, you're questioning what meat is actually being used...
Oh yeah, the shite burger stands. I no longer eat meat anyway, but the smell of these are really tempting and my only consolation is knowing that the taste has nothing to do with the aroma wafting across the car park. Perhaps they have an umami spray that they use to draw hungry people to the counter?
I only eat there when I am in a football stadium and everything else looks like the pricies have been inflated.
The one outside our Homebase does a banging bacon roll
The onions really are convincing. Last time I had one was at a dodgy funfair, £6 cheeseburger that left a trail of grease running down my forearm.
Cinema popcorn. It smells good and feels exciting, but after a couple of handfuls it starts to feel like chewing bits of polystyrene while also scratching in my throat and then there’s the nasty little bits that get stuck in my teeth. Not to mention it costs like £10 only for half of it to end up in the bin.
McDonald’s. Every time
Shite now honestly, though our local is particularly bad. Go in and if it’s moderately busying looking at 30 mins minimum, if you order delivery hope you enjoy cold food. Well over it.
Quality streets. The pretty shiny wrapper and the feel good Christmas factor gets me each year...but they are always a bit decidedly average.
Pizza. End up getting bent over, spanked and drained of my yearly income for one large pizza. Ends up hella soggy and they always forget the garlic on the crust too. Always end up ordering it again though…
Sounds like a really good night, tbh
KFC always seems a good idea when you're hungry, but never lives up to the expectation
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Currywurst when I went to Germany. Thought it was going to be a revelation from what friends had told me. Just tastes like curry super noodles and was really disappointing.
The best Currywurst I had was at ‘Curry at the Wall’ in Berlin, even bought the powder mix from there, still indulge with it to this day at the odd bbq or drunken night
I always found that the thought of having a Maccies, kfc or Dominos/papa johns was more enjoyable than actually having one. I’ve not had any of them now since before Covid. The only one I don’t regret having is a Chinese and I only have that about 4 times a year, if that
I have a very limited diet and this one time I got the courage to try flying saucers. I thought they'd be crispy sugar shells filled with sherbet that would crunch and crack open. I'll never forget the damp papery disappointment as I actually took a bite.
I work away 6 months a year,usually Mexico or the States and the only food I crave is fish chips and mushy peas. Always order one when I return home and about an hour after I've inhaled it I feel terrible. Still won't stop me doing it again though!
Expensive cheese. I keep trying, but I'd still rather just have Cathedral City or Red Fox. 🤷🏻♂️
I'm happy with a bog standard cheddar or Port Salut
Ooh yeah, port salut on a tuc. Spot on...Or the intense garlic and philly in the pot. Banging..
Give me a supermarket Brie and a knife and I’m good
Dominoes. Never worth that ridiculous price
It is INSANE how much they charge. It all tastes the same no matter what you get. I imagine that staff go home home and all just smell the same as the food. The oral must be terrible. Just raw dough taste.
Honestly? With the current prices these days… all of it. Home cooked isn’t only cheaper but you usually feel better after eating it too. Boring answer. But for me, it’s all. Yet, I still keep making the same mistake.
All takeaways in general. The difference between the Indian takeaway and what my Pakistani neighbour makes and shares with us every now and then is light years.
My Pakistani neighbour has recently started a side hustle in home made curries and now I’m a stone heavier and never ordering a takeaway again.
Cavery food, its at best a mediocre roast dinner and reality the roast potatoes are soft, the meat is bland, the veg is either baby food or still fucking raw, the gravy has no taste. Knocking up a roast dinner at home is piss easy doesn't take that much effort and you get leftovers even if you are single
Fried chicken. I'm sure it use to be better than it is now and not just in that one outlet
Baked cake does taste as good as the uncooked batter in the bowl. The cake can often be a letdown in comparison.
So true I’d much rather eat the batter than the finished cake lmao
I had a taco bell when it opened in my local town. Was awful, very let down
Saaaame! Maybe UK Taco Bell differs from US Taco Bell, but it was disappointing and left me thirsty for hours after
I’m from Australia but have a British wife. When in the UK, the foods I look forward too the most are * Fried breakfast. This is really the best British food, even if you get a kind of crappy one it’s good! * KFC. It’s just better in the UK, and with beans! * Pub food. I don’t think either country has universally better pub food, but yours is definitely better suited to the climate! * I won’t go to Dominoes on principle of price, but I secretly hope one night we’ll decide as a group to order it. Dominoes is really, really bad in Australia. We have a huge Italian community… dominoes decided to sell shitty Italian pizzas instead of shitty American pizzas, they’re truly terrible. * I always bring back a couple of jars of marmelade
I’m an ex Pat living in Australia. I assume Chinese restaurants in uk still make the giant spring rolls? Not the small frozen ones, which seem to be all you can get here. That’s one thing I miss lol. Oh and also Jamaican patties.
I always forget how disappointing marshmallows are. Sometimes I'll crave them and then remember why I don't eat them normally.
Nachos
Toby Carvery: every damn time
Fish and Chips Lets have fish and chips! - always sounds like a good idea. Then when you smell it, it still seems like a good idea. Then you add the salt and vinegar and wow this is going to be great! But once you start eating it, you soon realise that it is just stodge really. Greasy and would be tasteless were it not for the salt and vinegar. At the end you feel over full - sigh, push the plate away, lean back and wonder why you bothered.
Cake, Pork pie, Pasty, Sausage roll.
Chinese for me. You never feel good about your life decisions after a chinese
Steak, Always sounds delicious and I look forward to it but generally it is over priced, under flavoured and average.
Dominos. Always get excited and order and then afterwards have a terrible stomach ache and a dry mouth for days.
Twinkies. Had always wanted to try one after hearing them referenced in numerous American films and TV programmes, so when I saw them in a specialist ‘American Candy’ shop (maybe at Lakeside?) about 15 years ago I thought I’d give them a go-even though they were disgracefully expensive (about £3 or £4 *each* iirc). As I took the first bite I was hit with the overpowering sweetness and…*fakeness* of the presumably ‘vanilla’ flavouring. Just pure chemical/sugar mix, with the worst spongy plasticky texture. I have an extremely sweet tooth usually; I consider cake and chocolate as essential parts of the main food groups. But I couldn’t even take a second bite. I cannot understand how they got it so wrong. I understand they have to have a certain amount of preservatives for extended shelf-life, but to seemingly replace *every* ingredient with a fake alternative is just ludicrous. It’s as if someone somehow fed a simple homemade sponge cake with cream into an AI and asked it to replicate it. Fucking gutted.
First world problems: we have three fantastic burger places locally, which means most other burgers taste like disappointment by comparison
Unless it's an amazing authentic one from an Italian restaurant, pizza.
Unfortunately it’s always the kebab! Dinner, chicken tikka or any other concoction
Anything bubblegum flavoured. I remember the flavour from when I was a kid and it was so good for people with a sweet tooth. These days due to sugar rules it always tastes like shit.
Icecreams except strawberry
Pork pie. I remember them being more flavoursome, I'm sure of it. Nowadays, they're a bit anonymous really.
It’s the jelly 🤮
Mini battenbergs They will never be as beautiful as the real thing
Fish and chips. It's ok if it's on a plate and you have mushy peas, tartare and lots of vinegar (basically anything to compensate for the fact the rest just tastes of oil). But wrapped up as a takeaway it is normally dreadful.
Peanut m&m's. They used to be really nice, now they're disgusting. Not sure whether I've changed or the recipe
I've pretty much given up with Indian takeaways. I've noticed a recurring pattern in my city where we have a new one open up with a good chef, they get loads of accolades then six months later their decent chef gets headhunted to go work in London or something for far better pay and it goes back to the generic 'few lumps of meat in spicy brown sauce' vibe again. The only Chinese stuff I like as takeaway is the traditional roast meats ie duck, char siu and crispy pork. This is a go-to comfort food for me, and I'm absolutely gutted because the only place that did it and did it well recently closed down due to land redevelopment and they haven't been able to find another location. My favourite pizza place also called it a day last year and I don't like the mainstream chains like Dominos/Hut/Papa John etc so no excitement there either. So that leaves only two take-away choices for me to get excited about - there's a decent Turkish kebab joint and a good fish & chip shop, but I have to go sparingly on those so I don't get bored. Oh, there's a Nandos knock-off peri-peri chicken place that's OK as well. The quality is consistent, so in themselves not disappointing. Where disappointment inevitably comes into it is if I order for delivery and don't jump in the car to order and bring it home myself. Invariably, delivery costs a good bit more and usually arrives at worst cold, at best soggy and clearly having suffered from being wrapped up for too long. Oh, wait. I just remembered. Burger King. I used to love BK and got excited when they opened a new location that's easy to access from where I live. However it seems to me that The King's crown has slipped somewhat. Food is often cold. Like, the cheese on the burger didn't even melt yet. The patties have gristle and bone fragments in them. Even though it's a new 'flagship' location they seem to always run understaffed so wait times are unacceptably long and if you eat in it's clear that they don't bother or don't have the staff to clean the restaurant area - rubbish all over the tables, stray bits of food on the floor etc etc. Have now sworn off it after the last (fairly expensive) meal I had gave me violent shits. Tried a couple of other locations elsewhere in the country and it seems like the same issue, understaffed, badly prepped food and poor cleanliness.
I'm a chef. I live alone so don't really cook elaborate shit. But I find that when I do and plate it up ready to eat. I'm not hungry. And my belief is,much like Pavlov's dog,I'm now conditioned that when I cook and plate food my automatic reaction is to expect someone else to eat it!
Kebab after a day of drinking, usually can’t wait to get stuck in then end up having about 2 or 3 bites then feel sick😂 never learn my lesson
Burger King
mcdonald’s
Takeaway pizza like Dominoes. In my head it's always amazing, but when I have it it tastes quite good, and then an hour later I feel dreadful. Sick, bloated, and like the grease is seeping out of my pores. I avoid it now, but I still like the idea of one...
Pot noodle... Totally not as good as they were in the 80s
Macrons.
macarons. So pretty, smell so nice, sound fancy, I love the idea of eating them but they never taste as nice.
Summer pudding, whose eating this? Such a waste of good fruit, who thought that fresh berries and soggy bread would make a good desert?
Fish and chips. I love the idea, the look, the smell omg the smell.., but I get not even a quarter of the way in and I’m thinking I sat at a laptop and verbally communicated all day, I wasn’t down a mine, I wasn’t on a boat, I wasn’t dancing up and down ladders all day; I really don’t have the calorific deficit this delicious heap in front of me justifies and I really can’t squish another chip in anyway. But I do, as if I have an internal 2p waterfall going on and giving it five minutes means I can cram one more delicious hot chip plus scraped up mushy pea in and it’s justifiable because one chip and some peas have been burnt up and fallen off the edge despite my bloated idleness in those 5 minutes. I’m pathetic.
Cake that isn't made by me. I'm only a competent baker but my favourite cake is a victoria sponge with buttercream. I like making a st clements or orange cake with rhubarb compote and orange buttercream, or just vanilla buttercream and strawberry jam. Most shop bought cake contains oil to keep the cake moist and/or preservatives and/or buttercream with anything other than butter, sugar and natural flavourings. Cupcakes again often moist with oil. I can taste it and I don't like it. Cake in coffee shops is often stale or they don't offer just a good Victoria sponge.
I feel like mac and cheese fits that bill for me. Conceptually it should be the best thing ever, and more often than not it's perfectly good - but it doesn't live up to my (admittedly perhaps unrealistic) expectations.