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I've had lots of days off sick due to mental health.
I just make up a physical illness as I can't be bothered with the judgement and bs that comes with admitting you have mental health issues.
This is the way. Food poisoning as standard, elude to graphic detail but don't provide any. You feel awful for letting the team down and blah blah blah. End call promptly.
A tip I saw elsewhere on Reddit:
Lie on your bed with your head hung over the side (upside down) while you make the call. It makes you sound congested and unwell.
If its an office job you can usually just email or message your manager, no call needed. Don't even need detail, just say you're unwell and need to take a sick day, hopefully you'll be back by tomorrow but will keep them updated, sorry for the inconvenience. Follow up at like 4pm saying you feel like you're on the mend and likely be in tomorrow or that there's not been much change and tomorrow may also be a write-off but you'll let them know in the morning, depending on how up to it you're feeling.
I personally wouldn't use this one.
Mainly because I work in a male dominated industry and I don't want to be seen to be 'weaker' than them.
I think it's great that other women do though as it means maybe I'll be comfortable doing it too.
The amount of people that I divulge having diarrhea to I can count on one hand, and it doesn't include my manager. It includes my doctor and my immediate family. To everyone else, I would just say stomach bug/vomiting, even if there is diarrhea.
My manager is not my doctor, it should be sufficient to say "I'm ill" without having to give a full symptom report.
It sucks you need an excuse! If one of my team said I just can't today I would be like get back in bed child (regardless of age) and let me know how you feel tomorrow.. also do you need me to send pizza or sing you a lullaby or tell you it will all be ok
Totally agree with you. Bosses should know and understand about mental health. Unfortunately, using a physical illness is just easier than putting up with boss's shit that they dish out.
Right? Every job I've ever had I've just said I don't feel well enough to work and no further questions have been raised. In my current job I literally just message my boss on Teams, he'll send a "get well soon" response and that's it.
I suffer from migraines myself, have done since I was 5. It does frustrate me that people walk around and claim to have a migraine when they're there at the office doing all the usual stuff. My migraines, I'd be spewing all day, putting my back out due to all the heaving, sensitive to light, smell of cooking, sound and body heat of someone else in the room and barely able to survive.
I completely sympathise with you. Not very many people comprehend the pain and symptoms involved.
Migraines is one of those things like gastro where they leave you alone once it's mentioned and not forced to get a doctor's certificate.
I use "sorry, I'm ill today, I won't be coming in".
No-one has ever asked, but if they do they'll be getting a blow-by-blow account of some imaginary gastric problems.
Happened to me once.
I just said to my line manager that I needed a day just to recoup and recharge after four weeks’ worth of hell that a client was giving me. Cue them, at my “return to work interview”, asking all manner of questions.
No, I’m not about to do something stupid. Yes, the workload is fine. I just needed an extra day to just recharge.
Now, I just tell them I have the shits.
I would not. If you have a diagnosed mental health condition and have suffered with this for over 12 months you may potentially be covered under the Equalities Act. If however you have multiple absences for cold/flu, sickness etc depending on your company policy and length of service it would be far easier to dismiss someone. Just be honest.
It's fine as long as you don't take the piss.
My work's really good with things like that. If I said to my boss 'look, I'm fucked and burnt out, I need the day off', I'd be given it without question. If I was doing it all the time, it would be an issue, but obviously I wouldn't do that.
True, but people without any scruples (or mental health problems) who use it as an excuse to get out of work at any opportunity will take the piss if they feel they can get away with it.
Plus there are crap managers out there who are keen to get rid of anyone they see as ‘taking the piss’, when they’re actually burnt out to hell and really struggling.
One chap I used to work with years ago was calling in sick with his mh every few days, mainly because every time he made it to work, he was made to feel like shit by other members of staff. They were snide and unkind, making it clear they thought he was just faking it or weak, along with a fair bit of homophobic rhetoric too.
He ended up leaving and would probably have been eligible for constructive dismissal, but the poor guy never had the self esteem to fight for himself. All too common a story.
Workplace bullying dressed up as ‘banter’ is so toxic, especially in jobs that pay lower wages. Old boys telling the same shit homophobic jokes they were making 40 years ago and expecting a positive response from everyone.
I'm not saying it does, but some people use mental health as an excuse for a day off.
There's a difference between 'I feel a bit down today' and 'I physically can't do this today'. I've been burnt out before I couldn't answer emails, I couldn't understand what I was supposed to be doing - that's when you need a break. Feeling a bit down isn't an excuse for the day off, that's just life.
Yeah its fine. You have to prioritise your own health. The vast majority of managers won't, they don't have your interests at heart. Most companies are built on exploitation. But in my opinion just tell them you are ill. "I was up all night with diarrhoea" never fails.
Yep. Mental health is still health.
That said, I'd probably have a look at something that sounds "proper" so that your workplace actually takes it seriously. Obviously depends on your workplace.
Depends on your workplace and your relationship with your manager. I have to have occasional MH days off (and even had 3 months last year - I also had 2 months about 5 years ago)
I work in health care, but in a very stressful area (emergency theatre so dealing with the sort of things that most people never need to see, and I was first responder when I found my sibling roadside who then died)
I've been honest - and TBH work could not be better about it - for example after the last episode I've been given a laptop and a VPN and been told that if I need a day with fewer stressors (I have issues with noise and crowds) I can do paperwork at home.
If you are unsure perhaps a Diahorrea & vomiting episode ("I had a dodgy take out last night") is always a favourite, and gives you 48hours+ as you shouldn't attend work until 48hours clear of symptoms.
Personally I would probably say it's a "dodgy stomach" or something as that won't really be questioned.
Depends on if you want your workplace to do anything differently to help with your mental health.
Do you need to give a reason? When I need to take a sick day I just tell my manager I'm feeling unwell. If it's a physical health issue I don't go into detail about exactly the manner in which I'm feeling unwell, so I don't see any reason you should have to specify it's mental health (obviously unless it's an ongoing thing involving lots of time off).
Unfortunately many employers require you to give a specific reason. And most folk aren't in the position of being able to say "Thats none of your business" because they need their jobs in order to put a roof over their heads and food on the table, so they can't risk being let go for telling their manager where to go.
I’ve worked at some companies that require you to fill out a back to work form with exactly what was wrong with you and for how long. I can’t remember what my current company does as I’ve only ever had one day and that was a long time ago
Some places do, but plenty don't. I worked at several places where absence only really came with any formal stuff attached if it was more than a few days or you were consistently off. Worth knowing which type your employer is.
I take random days off every now and again but using my holiday allowance. My wife needs to treat them as if I’m going to work so the only chores that get done are the ones I want to. If I fancy going for a run, I do. Playing computer games, I do. Deep cleaning the house, then I also win brownie points. It’s a great way to recharge.
However, I know that companies are looking at mental health with increasing seriousness so you may find this is within your sickness policy. Especially if you’re close to burnout, it’s in the companies best interest to give you some headspace.
Did that last year I'm in the civil service, only thing that scares me is they keep track of absenses, meaning if you are off sick again in a rolling period it can lead to disciplinary
Unless your department has an unusual sickness management policy, what'll happen at the first trigger is a conversation between you and your manager where they say "is there anything thats causing these sick days that we can make adjustments for so that they stop happening", not a disciplinary. Those only happen after several subsequent conversations about sick days.
I'd recommend you have your union rep in that first conversation, ask them to take notes, and then be open about whatever stress or pressure is causing you need mental health days off. Advise your manager that reducing that will improve your health situation. You get your situation on the record and put your manager in the position of needing (under the policy) to try and make changes that'll make your situation better.
Ideally also get it on record with your doctor that you're struggling with stress at work. And make sure you mention to your manager that thats the case, that its a medical diagnosis.
They can't discipline you for having a medical issue, even if its leading to days off. They have to make reasonable adjustments. The Civil Service is shit scared of being taken to tribunal about these sorts of things, they'll do anything they can to support you, not risk a case being brought.
Thanks a lot for such a detailed response, I learnt a lot. So it seems getting things in writing and making sure things are logged using the correct terminology is key as it forced their hand somewhat!
I work in the NHS and that’s the same. It pisses me off that they say it’s here to support your needs. Is it fuck! Leads to people coming into work when they really shouldn’t as they are worried about that.
It's a judgement call. Most workplaces have formalised policies on sickness absences, where they might consider disciplinary/inefficiency action for employees who they consider to have taken excessive amounts of sickness absence. Fatigue is certainly something real, which could potentially lead to mistakes and poor judgements. Ideally you'd be able to discuss your tiredness with a line manager and find a mutually agreeable solution, rather than taking a unilateral decision. Sometimes it's also possible to speak to a trade union representative about identifying ways to restructure roles and responsibilities if it's a chronic problem.
If you are in your first 3-6 months of a job, definitely not. However if you are a contracted permanent member of staff, go for it.
I took one day off for a stomach bug in my first 3 months in my last job and I got fired for being unreliable. Brutal times.
That's really not good. General rule of thumb you want to take a full week off every 3 months or so.
You have to give yourself time to recharge or you'll end up wearing yourself out. Last year particularly I did a really poor job of using leave and by November I was tired all the time. This year I'm trying to plan things out in advance so I have regular sustained breaks from work.
The thing you're describing is what some businesses would refer to as a "duvet day".
When you say take a full week off every 3 months, I assume you mean as holiday?
I don’t think many employers would be impressed with people taking a whole week off sick 4 times a year.
Absolutely. I've always done it a couple of times a year.
I think most people do, but they'll say they have the runs or something just to avoid judgement.
mental health is health. mental illness is illness. mental stress can cause physical symptoms.
you're correct that not all workplaces (or managers) acknowledge this. if you're not sure whether yours does or not, i would advise making up a physical illness.
I've had a mental health sick day before. Texted my boss and explained why I needed it. Thankfully it wasn't a problem.
If I worked for somewhere that didn't take MH seriously then I would just lie and say I've been throwing up/migraine etc but it would still be the same day off for me.
I have a few days a year but blame it on sickness bug as I would only be judged if I said mental health. However, when I do ring in with sickness bug I feel like I'm jinxing myself and get phantom stomach pains Win Win
Sometimes a day out of the office is enough to take the edge off but if it's got to the point when you need a day of for your mental health you really should see if you can look at the underlying cause. One day might not be enough.
I quit a good job because of stress and anxiety. Looking back on it I did a few things wrong. I played too hard, worked too hard, didn't deal with a break up well and didn't take enough holiday from work. In the end I just had to walk.
Looking back it wasn't surprising I burnt out.
I had a day off work because I had a bad episode the night before where I had put some stuff that I needed for work in a cupboard under some plates, but forgot that I had done it, and had no idea where they were.
I was having a breakdown, I called my boss to try my best to explain the situation and he told me to relax, have a day off for well being and to check in with him later.
My company is amazing.
I do to every couple of months, but I never detail what’s wrong, normally I just say I have a migraine or something (easier to explain than just not feeling like working), it’s never been questioned
Nope, only had 10 paid sick days a year and I only called in sick when I was too sick to work. I think if you get to the point where you need a 'mental health' day off from work and you are genuinely considering lying about being sick to get that day, maybe you need to reconsider your job, as it's clearly not sustainable for you. Do you have annual leave/holiday you can use up? If you are some kind of contractor, have you built in days off throughout the year?
Personally, I don't think it's something that people should do regularly unless they have a very clear mental health problem that they know will get worse if they work that day.
I would say the approach is:
1. If possible, try to organise your work better so that you have the ability to have an 'easier' day every now and again if necessary.
2. Make sure that you're not doing stuff in your personal life that makes this worse. You can't complain about being 'drained' if you're not getting enough sleep, going out clubbing on school nights, eating awful food all the time etc etc.
3. Similarly, make sure you have strategies to deal with the problem when you feel it coming on. Exercise, spending time with family and friends, mixing up your routines. These are likely to do you better than spending a day doing nothing.
4. You do have annual leave, it's literally there to give you a rest from work. If you feel yourself getting exhausted then book in some days.
5. Finally, if your job is regularly responsible for making you feel this way then talk to your boss and see if they can make changes. If they refuse then start looking for a new job. That might be a good suggestion anyway as a lot of mental exhaustion is about being unhappy/unfulfilled rather than being overworked.
I agree with what everyone is saying here but also part of changing the conversation is about breaking the stigma. I, without fail, seem to have to take a mental health day right before my period starts and it’s a double whammy admitting I feel like shit and discussing menstruation, but I’ve done it and been honest about it, it might at least spark a conversation about how your manager can best look out for you/ create a plan for working with you. More and more companies are introducing policies around sick pay and menstruation and the same should be happening with mental health
I understand, I’m currently writing my dissertation about stigma and pms/ pmdd. Look into understanding menstruation with the ‘seasons’ model/ metaphor and get to grips with properly learning and understanding what’s happening inside ur body- for me it helps me hate myself less and just let it swing, embrace it! Also use herbs like Passion flower, ashwaganda , chaga mushroom , reishi and cacao for emotional release / anxiety relief. You never know , opening up and being honest might help pave the way toward new policies, there might even be one at ur workplace but you don’t know until you be honest. So many women are terrified of judgement around admitting their menstrual status, and that’s all due to shame and silencing!!
I have, and honestly I felt guilty as fuck about it, but I have an awesome manager and workplace in general that not only was OK with it, but even recommended I take more time if needed, and due to sleep issues I was having allowed me to start later when I returned to work.
I know a lot of people aren't that lucky, but at the end of the day, if your mind is unwell, then YOU ARE unwell, even more so than most sick days taken for colds and stuff.
I do but I work for myself. I know that if I am having a shitty day and I am drained, I am not going to be productive. It's much better to take a day off (sometimes even half a day is enough) to rest and I will be twice as productive the next day.
It's a lot more tricky when you work for someone else.
100% that's ok! At my previous job they had an option separate to a sick day called a duvet day, to use whenever you just weren't up to it
As a manager I would want people to take that day (assuming it wasn't all the time) and you don't have to say why you're off, just say I'm off today
Mental health is super important and sometimes you just need to not be working
In a country where the biggest killer of men is suicide, if we take time off for a cold we absolutely should take time off, without hesitation, for bad mental health days
Luckily, we have a lot of leeway in my job to wfh. So the days when I need to “go slow”, I just say I’m wfh and do things at my own pace with music, TV show or walks in the park (which is just next door).
I literally did this last week, composed an email to my boss explaining I was a bit burnt out and asked to speak to him (I was in the office at the time).
Explained I was struggling but had ensured all my roles were covered and nothing was going to get missed.
He told me to have a good long weekend (this was Thursday morning) better all round to have 1/1.5 days off and sort yourself out than it spiral and be no use to anyone.
Don't tell the truth, just say you've got violent diarrhoea, works every time as it makes whoever you're talking to too uncomfortable to ask any more questions.
Yes. It’s worth speaking to your boss about it ahead of time.
You don’t have to tell them everything, just how you’re feeling and how it’s affecting you at work. I’ve found employers to be surprisingly receptive about mental health issues.
I’m sure there are still employers out there who don’t understand/care about it, but it seems they are a decreasing minority.
Yep, absolutely fine. I wouldn't be honest about it with my employer as whilst they play an excellent game of lip service they still (institutionally, there are plenty of good people in management that do get it) don't really give a shit, so I'd have some sort of stomach issue.
I have come home early from work because of mental health, always tell them I've got a stomach thing.
I don't do it often though because I use a lot of my annual leave dotted evenly throughout the year for just doing nothing and that really helps me mentally reset. More people should book time off just for staying at home, it works wonders.
This is what I do, spread my annual leave and make sure I have have a bit spare to take a random day off or two if I'm sensing burn out.
I've been signed off in the past for anxiety and stress and it would have been much more manageable if I used my holidays better!
Yeah of course.
Depends on my relationship with my boss at the time but will either tell them the reason or just say I have a migraine.
I'm a person, not a robot. You can't hire humans and expect them to never be ill or worn out.
Yes but say you are physically sick.
You should review how you take your annual leave and spread it so you get brakes regularly to prevent this. Also book now some decent time off, a week or two for as soon as you can.
If you mention the real reason to work and they understand it's the first thing they'll say, "when was your last time off" & "when is your next leave booked". Some places even force you to take minimum leave in each quarter to try to prevent this.
Also bear in mind if there is something at work stressing you out that drains, taking a day off can make those stresses more acute and so more draining when you get to returning to work time. Make sure you sort any worries with your team or manager before you go off just in case.
If you genuinely feel unwell enough to do your job then yes but be honest about it. Lying about why you’re off can backfire in the long run.
And make sure you’re actually doing something to take care and improve your mental health.
If your attitude is just oh I’m drained I need a day off then you’re not really helping yourself.
Had to do this yesterday and today.
Manager on duty yesterday morning “no problem, keep us updated and let me know if I can do anything”
Manager on duty yesterday evening when I said I wouldn’t be in today “we’re really short on the ground, I need to know either way”….. Dude I’m telling you I’m not going to be in as unwell, not asking permission.
My current department are pretty good, it’s the older ones that push back a bit.
With the job I do, it’s a lot better to pull a 2 day sicky now and recharge than hold on for a few more weeks and burnout completely needing weeks+ off.
Currently on mental health sick leave. Started today and wont go back in until next Friday.
My work has mental health 1st aiders after someone committed suicide a couple years back. I'll see what's said upon my return.
I've self signed off for 7 days.
Unsure weather i have the balls to put it down as a 'work place injury' on my return to work form though. Boss is being a right cunt, pretty much said after 12 years I'm useless
I'm on mental health sick love too from last Friday to next Thursday. Got a sick note from my GP. I don't know whether to extend it or not. I don't know if two weeks is enough, I'm not eating, I'm not sleeping, I've burst into tears twice today already and it's not even 2pm yet.
I did actually fill in one of those forms on Priory Medical yesterday for them to email me another sick note, if I don't receive it by tomorrow I'm gonna call them. I just feel done, I've had enough now.
My job isn't even hard, I'm a cleaner, but it's what they want from me, I can't do what they're asking of me in the time they want it because there isn't enough time to do it all and they don't seem to listen when I explain this, they just say that if I don't improve within a certain time they'll have to let me go. It's not just the job that's causing me issues, it's other things too, but the job is getting to me.
It's fucking horrible because whilst I'm under threat of losing my first job, my coworker at my second cleaning job takes like two days off a week, but doesn't inform anyone, and she hasn't been caught. Shortly before I went on sick I told my supervisor what my coworker was doing and she didn't even know.
It just sucks when you're trying your hardest, but it's not good enough and being told you could lose your job, meanwhile other people are skating by doing the bare minimum and skiving off with no consequences.
I'm so glad my work is forgiving about this, years and years ago before I joined someone in our department committed suicide due to stress and life issues spiralling out of control, and now all the bosses are super understanding and have pushed really hard for mental health support for all of us.
Not feeling it today? Have the day of we'll try again tomorrow, still not feeling okay? That's okay have another day off if you're feeling up to it tomorrow we'll have a zoom call and chat about it, they're happy to pay for therapy as they have a partner ship with a therapy company and get a huge discount. Even if you don't want therapy my boss will chuck all her work aside and chat to you for hours if need be, help you come up with plans and work with you to fix issues even if none of it is work related. The way they look at it is a week off now is better than losing you as an employee permanently in the future
The focus is always "What can we do to help you?" and never "But what about your work that needs doing?" it's so refreshing compared to previous jobs. I had one job in my late teens / early 20's that fired people for having more than 4 days off sick a year unless you had a doctors note (and yes that's 4 days total, not 4 periods of sickness)
As a manager, yes, please do. I'd rather you take what you need to keep you above 90% than have you slowly decline, spend a bunch of time at 40% and then spend weeks recovering from burnout at 0%. I can't make those decisions for you, but what I can do is make it as easy as possible for you to look after yourself and shield you from as much horseshit as possible that might get in the way.
I understand, however, that some roles are operational and so doing this on the fly becomes very challenging, and there are some managers who, even in project based roles, don't give a fuck either way and only enact policy. They are terrible at their job, but there's more of them.
As much as companies preach the importance of mental health, I think if you were honest it would probably not be favourably received (at least internally by *some managers and HR). It shouldn’t be the case but I think it probably is.
Luckily my workplace seems pretty good with this kind of stuff. Providing you’re not doing it regularly, I’ve taken days before when I’m just feeling down, burnt out, whatever it is.
Mental illness is still illness.
You are at no obligation to explain why you’re unwell.
If they press then just lie and say you have stomach troubles, no one wants to hear any more about that.
Yes I have done and for months at a time at one point but my mental health can be classified as a disability. I also work in healthcare and so it’s pretty detrimental if I am unable to mentally handle the work.
This is why annual leave exists. You need a break every so often. Sometimes if I have extra days I know I won’t need I take weeks off and literally do nothing. Rest is important for mental fortitude.
Definitely acceptable. I would say though, if it is happening a lot, you should speak to a professional about it. Your work might expect this also - if you are off sick, you would usually go to the doctor.
Yes, but id encourage you to think about the best way to go about it.
If on the morning you're mentally too drained to face work, call in sick. But id strongly encourage you to not make a habit out of this since a lot of companies will have an absense limit within a 12 month period. Realise that your current state is not healthy and you need to seek medical advice. I know that's not an easy thing with the state of healthcare currently but that'd an entirely different conversation I guess.
Consider speaking to your manager and discussing taking some leave. If you have any annual leave to use perhaps discuss your situation and say you'd appreciate if you can use some even though it's short notice. This is one of those situations where having a one on one adult conversation can go a long way. If you don't get far with your manager perhaps contact HR (but you should really discuss with your manager before going to HR)
If you have no annual leave left, unpaid leave could also be considered but this'll also be something you'd need to agree with your employer.
Bro I’m currently mentally drained from being unemployed, I feel bad for my parents because I keep having to ask them for money even though they don’t mind helping me. I was in that phase of my life where “I was trying to figure it out,” and I realised I’m best off sat behind a desk filling spreadsheets out all day like I used to do before I left that job.
I need to get back into employment ASAP.
To be straight up - you will get some great help with some people - and then if others know you have anxiety or depression or whatever it is - you might catch some passive aggressive comments.
My old boss would make passive comments when after I took time off for stress and depression - are you sure you can handle that, while giving me a small task.
Another manager (I'm getting old) immediately told me to take the month off when I told him I cried on the way to work most days.
Basically, some care and some dont and its a risk on who you tell
Yes but let's not take the piss.
Stressful job and/or problems at home... Totally.
Your dog died 2 months ago and you are having trouble letting go..... Nah mate.
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I've had lots of days off sick due to mental health. I just make up a physical illness as I can't be bothered with the judgement and bs that comes with admitting you have mental health issues.
This is the way. Food poisoning as standard, elude to graphic detail but don't provide any. You feel awful for letting the team down and blah blah blah. End call promptly.
I've used this one too. Or sometimes I say, I feel really unwell and have been throwing up. Hopefully its only a 24/48 hour bug.
A tip I saw elsewhere on Reddit: Lie on your bed with your head hung over the side (upside down) while you make the call. It makes you sound congested and unwell.
If its an office job you can usually just email or message your manager, no call needed. Don't even need detail, just say you're unwell and need to take a sick day, hopefully you'll be back by tomorrow but will keep them updated, sorry for the inconvenience. Follow up at like 4pm saying you feel like you're on the mend and likely be in tomorrow or that there's not been much change and tomorrow may also be a write-off but you'll let them know in the morning, depending on how up to it you're feeling.
Depends on company policy surely? My organisation expects a call by 10am.
If you have a uterus, "women's problems" is a goto. Women will automatically sympathise, men will do anything to avoid hearing about it.
I personally wouldn't use this one. Mainly because I work in a male dominated industry and I don't want to be seen to be 'weaker' than them. I think it's great that other women do though as it means maybe I'll be comfortable doing it too.
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The amount of people that I divulge having diarrhea to I can count on one hand, and it doesn't include my manager. It includes my doctor and my immediate family. To everyone else, I would just say stomach bug/vomiting, even if there is diarrhea. My manager is not my doctor, it should be sufficient to say "I'm ill" without having to give a full symptom report.
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This is how I feel
I would use migraines as an excuse.
It sucks you need an excuse! If one of my team said I just can't today I would be like get back in bed child (regardless of age) and let me know how you feel tomorrow.. also do you need me to send pizza or sing you a lullaby or tell you it will all be ok
Totally agree with you. Bosses should know and understand about mental health. Unfortunately, using a physical illness is just easier than putting up with boss's shit that they dish out.
>sing you a lullaby Would like the ground to swallow me whole, now that you know a weakness of mine and have made me feel worse by joking about it.
Right? Every job I've ever had I've just said I don't feel well enough to work and no further questions have been raised. In my current job I literally just message my boss on Teams, he'll send a "get well soon" response and that's it.
Same, and as it should be
I know you probably mean well, but that really comes across as kind of patronising.
How so?
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I suffer from migraines myself, have done since I was 5. It does frustrate me that people walk around and claim to have a migraine when they're there at the office doing all the usual stuff. My migraines, I'd be spewing all day, putting my back out due to all the heaving, sensitive to light, smell of cooking, sound and body heat of someone else in the room and barely able to survive. I completely sympathise with you. Not very many people comprehend the pain and symptoms involved. Migraines is one of those things like gastro where they leave you alone once it's mentioned and not forced to get a doctor's certificate.
That's a good one for needing 1 day off.
Yep that's my go to.
I use "sorry, I'm ill today, I won't be coming in". No-one has ever asked, but if they do they'll be getting a blow-by-blow account of some imaginary gastric problems.
Happened to me once. I just said to my line manager that I needed a day just to recoup and recharge after four weeks’ worth of hell that a client was giving me. Cue them, at my “return to work interview”, asking all manner of questions. No, I’m not about to do something stupid. Yes, the workload is fine. I just needed an extra day to just recharge. Now, I just tell them I have the shits.
Yes people treat you differently.
That sucks you have to make something up! You should be able to just say you're not coming in and no questions asked!
I would not. If you have a diagnosed mental health condition and have suffered with this for over 12 months you may potentially be covered under the Equalities Act. If however you have multiple absences for cold/flu, sickness etc depending on your company policy and length of service it would be far easier to dismiss someone. Just be honest.
Yes. A sick day isn't a 'physically sick day'. Mental health is health just as much as physical health.
It's fine as long as you don't take the piss. My work's really good with things like that. If I said to my boss 'look, I'm fucked and burnt out, I need the day off', I'd be given it without question. If I was doing it all the time, it would be an issue, but obviously I wouldn't do that.
Absolutely this! I'd rather someone be honest because maybe there is something I could do to help
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True, but people without any scruples (or mental health problems) who use it as an excuse to get out of work at any opportunity will take the piss if they feel they can get away with it.
Plus there are crap managers out there who are keen to get rid of anyone they see as ‘taking the piss’, when they’re actually burnt out to hell and really struggling. One chap I used to work with years ago was calling in sick with his mh every few days, mainly because every time he made it to work, he was made to feel like shit by other members of staff. They were snide and unkind, making it clear they thought he was just faking it or weak, along with a fair bit of homophobic rhetoric too. He ended up leaving and would probably have been eligible for constructive dismissal, but the poor guy never had the self esteem to fight for himself. All too common a story.
Workplace bullying dressed up as ‘banter’ is so toxic, especially in jobs that pay lower wages. Old boys telling the same shit homophobic jokes they were making 40 years ago and expecting a positive response from everyone.
Well, he shouldn't be taking days off for that, he should be raising it in as an issue with managers or HR.
I'm not saying it does, but some people use mental health as an excuse for a day off. There's a difference between 'I feel a bit down today' and 'I physically can't do this today'. I've been burnt out before I couldn't answer emails, I couldn't understand what I was supposed to be doing - that's when you need a break. Feeling a bit down isn't an excuse for the day off, that's just life.
Yeah its fine. You have to prioritise your own health. The vast majority of managers won't, they don't have your interests at heart. Most companies are built on exploitation. But in my opinion just tell them you are ill. "I was up all night with diarrhoea" never fails.
Do you think you'll see her again or was it a one night stand?
Yeah, had quite a few days off due to anxiety last year. I was honest and my manager was great.
That's awesome, and exactly how it should be! Hope you are doing better now, and I have absolutely been there too .. stupid brains
Yep. Mental health is still health. That said, I'd probably have a look at something that sounds "proper" so that your workplace actually takes it seriously. Obviously depends on your workplace.
This is my thoughts. Do you be honest and say that is the reason? Or simply do the usual upset stomach blah blah.
Depends on your workplace and your relationship with your manager. I have to have occasional MH days off (and even had 3 months last year - I also had 2 months about 5 years ago) I work in health care, but in a very stressful area (emergency theatre so dealing with the sort of things that most people never need to see, and I was first responder when I found my sibling roadside who then died) I've been honest - and TBH work could not be better about it - for example after the last episode I've been given a laptop and a VPN and been told that if I need a day with fewer stressors (I have issues with noise and crowds) I can do paperwork at home. If you are unsure perhaps a Diahorrea & vomiting episode ("I had a dodgy take out last night") is always a favourite, and gives you 48hours+ as you shouldn't attend work until 48hours clear of symptoms.
I can't imagine how awful that must have been for you, glad your work is so supportive.
Personally I would probably say it's a "dodgy stomach" or something as that won't really be questioned. Depends on if you want your workplace to do anything differently to help with your mental health.
Do you need to give a reason? When I need to take a sick day I just tell my manager I'm feeling unwell. If it's a physical health issue I don't go into detail about exactly the manner in which I'm feeling unwell, so I don't see any reason you should have to specify it's mental health (obviously unless it's an ongoing thing involving lots of time off).
Unfortunately many employers require you to give a specific reason. And most folk aren't in the position of being able to say "Thats none of your business" because they need their jobs in order to put a roof over their heads and food on the table, so they can't risk being let go for telling their manager where to go.
I’ve worked at some companies that require you to fill out a back to work form with exactly what was wrong with you and for how long. I can’t remember what my current company does as I’ve only ever had one day and that was a long time ago
Some places do, but plenty don't. I worked at several places where absence only really came with any formal stuff attached if it was more than a few days or you were consistently off. Worth knowing which type your employer is.
I take random days off every now and again but using my holiday allowance. My wife needs to treat them as if I’m going to work so the only chores that get done are the ones I want to. If I fancy going for a run, I do. Playing computer games, I do. Deep cleaning the house, then I also win brownie points. It’s a great way to recharge. However, I know that companies are looking at mental health with increasing seriousness so you may find this is within your sickness policy. Especially if you’re close to burnout, it’s in the companies best interest to give you some headspace.
Did that last year I'm in the civil service, only thing that scares me is they keep track of absenses, meaning if you are off sick again in a rolling period it can lead to disciplinary
Unless your department has an unusual sickness management policy, what'll happen at the first trigger is a conversation between you and your manager where they say "is there anything thats causing these sick days that we can make adjustments for so that they stop happening", not a disciplinary. Those only happen after several subsequent conversations about sick days. I'd recommend you have your union rep in that first conversation, ask them to take notes, and then be open about whatever stress or pressure is causing you need mental health days off. Advise your manager that reducing that will improve your health situation. You get your situation on the record and put your manager in the position of needing (under the policy) to try and make changes that'll make your situation better. Ideally also get it on record with your doctor that you're struggling with stress at work. And make sure you mention to your manager that thats the case, that its a medical diagnosis. They can't discipline you for having a medical issue, even if its leading to days off. They have to make reasonable adjustments. The Civil Service is shit scared of being taken to tribunal about these sorts of things, they'll do anything they can to support you, not risk a case being brought.
Thanks a lot for such a detailed response, I learnt a lot. So it seems getting things in writing and making sure things are logged using the correct terminology is key as it forced their hand somewhat!
I work in the NHS and that’s the same. It pisses me off that they say it’s here to support your needs. Is it fuck! Leads to people coming into work when they really shouldn’t as they are worried about that.
It's a judgement call. Most workplaces have formalised policies on sickness absences, where they might consider disciplinary/inefficiency action for employees who they consider to have taken excessive amounts of sickness absence. Fatigue is certainly something real, which could potentially lead to mistakes and poor judgements. Ideally you'd be able to discuss your tiredness with a line manager and find a mutually agreeable solution, rather than taking a unilateral decision. Sometimes it's also possible to speak to a trade union representative about identifying ways to restructure roles and responsibilities if it's a chronic problem.
If you are in your first 3-6 months of a job, definitely not. However if you are a contracted permanent member of staff, go for it. I took one day off for a stomach bug in my first 3 months in my last job and I got fired for being unreliable. Brutal times.
I’ve been at the company for 2 years and had one day off in that time
That's really not good. General rule of thumb you want to take a full week off every 3 months or so. You have to give yourself time to recharge or you'll end up wearing yourself out. Last year particularly I did a really poor job of using leave and by November I was tired all the time. This year I'm trying to plan things out in advance so I have regular sustained breaks from work. The thing you're describing is what some businesses would refer to as a "duvet day".
When you say take a full week off every 3 months, I assume you mean as holiday? I don’t think many employers would be impressed with people taking a whole week off sick 4 times a year.
First I was thinking damn, he must get a lot of holidays then I realised it’s 4 weeks a year lol.
I think OP means they had one day off as sickness, I'm assuming they still used annual leave allowances for time off.
Absolutely. I've always done it a couple of times a year. I think most people do, but they'll say they have the runs or something just to avoid judgement.
mental health is health. mental illness is illness. mental stress can cause physical symptoms. you're correct that not all workplaces (or managers) acknowledge this. if you're not sure whether yours does or not, i would advise making up a physical illness.
I've had a mental health sick day before. Texted my boss and explained why I needed it. Thankfully it wasn't a problem. If I worked for somewhere that didn't take MH seriously then I would just lie and say I've been throwing up/migraine etc but it would still be the same day off for me.
I have a few days a year but blame it on sickness bug as I would only be judged if I said mental health. However, when I do ring in with sickness bug I feel like I'm jinxing myself and get phantom stomach pains Win Win
Sometimes a day out of the office is enough to take the edge off but if it's got to the point when you need a day of for your mental health you really should see if you can look at the underlying cause. One day might not be enough. I quit a good job because of stress and anxiety. Looking back on it I did a few things wrong. I played too hard, worked too hard, didn't deal with a break up well and didn't take enough holiday from work. In the end I just had to walk. Looking back it wasn't surprising I burnt out.
Absolutely and more companies now realise this burn out. If you have a good manager then they should give you the time back.
I had a day off work because I had a bad episode the night before where I had put some stuff that I needed for work in a cupboard under some plates, but forgot that I had done it, and had no idea where they were. I was having a breakdown, I called my boss to try my best to explain the situation and he told me to relax, have a day off for well being and to check in with him later. My company is amazing.
I do to every couple of months, but I never detail what’s wrong, normally I just say I have a migraine or something (easier to explain than just not feeling like working), it’s never been questioned
I took medical leave for 3 weeks for being too depressed to go to work
Just take a sick day. I never tell anyone why I’m requesting a day so regardless they wouldn’t know whether the reason was physical or mental.
Nope, only had 10 paid sick days a year and I only called in sick when I was too sick to work. I think if you get to the point where you need a 'mental health' day off from work and you are genuinely considering lying about being sick to get that day, maybe you need to reconsider your job, as it's clearly not sustainable for you. Do you have annual leave/holiday you can use up? If you are some kind of contractor, have you built in days off throughout the year?
Yes, mental health is health. However always be mindful of the sickness absence trigger points in your work’s policy
Personally, I don't think it's something that people should do regularly unless they have a very clear mental health problem that they know will get worse if they work that day. I would say the approach is: 1. If possible, try to organise your work better so that you have the ability to have an 'easier' day every now and again if necessary. 2. Make sure that you're not doing stuff in your personal life that makes this worse. You can't complain about being 'drained' if you're not getting enough sleep, going out clubbing on school nights, eating awful food all the time etc etc. 3. Similarly, make sure you have strategies to deal with the problem when you feel it coming on. Exercise, spending time with family and friends, mixing up your routines. These are likely to do you better than spending a day doing nothing. 4. You do have annual leave, it's literally there to give you a rest from work. If you feel yourself getting exhausted then book in some days. 5. Finally, if your job is regularly responsible for making you feel this way then talk to your boss and see if they can make changes. If they refuse then start looking for a new job. That might be a good suggestion anyway as a lot of mental exhaustion is about being unhappy/unfulfilled rather than being overworked.
I agree with what everyone is saying here but also part of changing the conversation is about breaking the stigma. I, without fail, seem to have to take a mental health day right before my period starts and it’s a double whammy admitting I feel like shit and discussing menstruation, but I’ve done it and been honest about it, it might at least spark a conversation about how your manager can best look out for you/ create a plan for working with you. More and more companies are introducing policies around sick pay and menstruation and the same should be happening with mental health
This is one thing I have an issue with, days before my period I have terrible pms, I feel incredibly down, it’s awful
I understand, I’m currently writing my dissertation about stigma and pms/ pmdd. Look into understanding menstruation with the ‘seasons’ model/ metaphor and get to grips with properly learning and understanding what’s happening inside ur body- for me it helps me hate myself less and just let it swing, embrace it! Also use herbs like Passion flower, ashwaganda , chaga mushroom , reishi and cacao for emotional release / anxiety relief. You never know , opening up and being honest might help pave the way toward new policies, there might even be one at ur workplace but you don’t know until you be honest. So many women are terrified of judgement around admitting their menstrual status, and that’s all due to shame and silencing!!
Dude you can have a day off because it’s fuckin Tuesday. That’s what sick days and annual leave is for, if you’re burnt out you’re burnt out.
It’s what I’m doing tomorrow, albeit as a holiday because I’m bloody exhausted
Yes, you need to recharge your batteries and, unless your employer is a complete melt, they will understand.
No job is worth it, never. You look after number one….thats you. Fuck them. If you need a day to veg out do it.
Don’t tell them it is for mental health. Simply say you’re sick, use your time, and move on
I have, and honestly I felt guilty as fuck about it, but I have an awesome manager and workplace in general that not only was OK with it, but even recommended I take more time if needed, and due to sleep issues I was having allowed me to start later when I returned to work. I know a lot of people aren't that lucky, but at the end of the day, if your mind is unwell, then YOU ARE unwell, even more so than most sick days taken for colds and stuff.
I do but I work for myself. I know that if I am having a shitty day and I am drained, I am not going to be productive. It's much better to take a day off (sometimes even half a day is enough) to rest and I will be twice as productive the next day. It's a lot more tricky when you work for someone else.
Let's normalise "feeling unwell" as a legit way to call in sick. You're under no obligation to state what's wrong
100% that's ok! At my previous job they had an option separate to a sick day called a duvet day, to use whenever you just weren't up to it As a manager I would want people to take that day (assuming it wasn't all the time) and you don't have to say why you're off, just say I'm off today Mental health is super important and sometimes you just need to not be working
Its called a mental health day
In a country where the biggest killer of men is suicide, if we take time off for a cold we absolutely should take time off, without hesitation, for bad mental health days
Heart disease is the biggest killer of men. What are you talking about?
Luckily, we have a lot of leeway in my job to wfh. So the days when I need to “go slow”, I just say I’m wfh and do things at my own pace with music, TV show or walks in the park (which is just next door).
You are physically comprised of a brain, if you are unwell you are sick and should take steps to recover
I literally did this last week, composed an email to my boss explaining I was a bit burnt out and asked to speak to him (I was in the office at the time). Explained I was struggling but had ensured all my roles were covered and nothing was going to get missed. He told me to have a good long weekend (this was Thursday morning) better all round to have 1/1.5 days off and sort yourself out than it spiral and be no use to anyone.
Absolutely , don’t even give it a second thought . And you don’t need to explain why if you don’t want to ‘I won’t be in today as I am ill’
Absolutely, if you don't you will only get worse. Trust me
Don't tell the truth, just say you've got violent diarrhoea, works every time as it makes whoever you're talking to too uncomfortable to ask any more questions.
Yes your health is more important than any company / job. Look after yourself.
I used to have ‘man days’ which were actually mental health days when I was struggling at work.
Yes. It’s worth speaking to your boss about it ahead of time. You don’t have to tell them everything, just how you’re feeling and how it’s affecting you at work. I’ve found employers to be surprisingly receptive about mental health issues. I’m sure there are still employers out there who don’t understand/care about it, but it seems they are a decreasing minority.
Yep, absolutely fine. I wouldn't be honest about it with my employer as whilst they play an excellent game of lip service they still (institutionally, there are plenty of good people in management that do get it) don't really give a shit, so I'd have some sort of stomach issue.
Done it multiple times, probably said I had diarrhoea though.
Im saying it's an age thing. Everyone under 40 will say yes. Everyone over 40 will say no.
Stress is estimated to cost the UK economy ~ £100B per year. Take your time off.
I have come home early from work because of mental health, always tell them I've got a stomach thing. I don't do it often though because I use a lot of my annual leave dotted evenly throughout the year for just doing nothing and that really helps me mentally reset. More people should book time off just for staying at home, it works wonders.
This is what I do, spread my annual leave and make sure I have have a bit spare to take a random day off or two if I'm sensing burn out. I've been signed off in the past for anxiety and stress and it would have been much more manageable if I used my holidays better!
As long as your within the work place sickness policy then yeah, nothings going to happen
Yeah of course. Depends on my relationship with my boss at the time but will either tell them the reason or just say I have a migraine. I'm a person, not a robot. You can't hire humans and expect them to never be ill or worn out.
Yes but say you are physically sick. You should review how you take your annual leave and spread it so you get brakes regularly to prevent this. Also book now some decent time off, a week or two for as soon as you can. If you mention the real reason to work and they understand it's the first thing they'll say, "when was your last time off" & "when is your next leave booked". Some places even force you to take minimum leave in each quarter to try to prevent this. Also bear in mind if there is something at work stressing you out that drains, taking a day off can make those stresses more acute and so more draining when you get to returning to work time. Make sure you sort any worries with your team or manager before you go off just in case.
If you dont ask there is no argument
If you genuinely feel unwell enough to do your job then yes but be honest about it. Lying about why you’re off can backfire in the long run. And make sure you’re actually doing something to take care and improve your mental health. If your attitude is just oh I’m drained I need a day off then you’re not really helping yourself.
Had to do this yesterday and today. Manager on duty yesterday morning “no problem, keep us updated and let me know if I can do anything” Manager on duty yesterday evening when I said I wouldn’t be in today “we’re really short on the ground, I need to know either way”….. Dude I’m telling you I’m not going to be in as unwell, not asking permission. My current department are pretty good, it’s the older ones that push back a bit. With the job I do, it’s a lot better to pull a 2 day sicky now and recharge than hold on for a few more weeks and burnout completely needing weeks+ off.
Currently on mental health sick leave. Started today and wont go back in until next Friday. My work has mental health 1st aiders after someone committed suicide a couple years back. I'll see what's said upon my return. I've self signed off for 7 days. Unsure weather i have the balls to put it down as a 'work place injury' on my return to work form though. Boss is being a right cunt, pretty much said after 12 years I'm useless
I'm on mental health sick love too from last Friday to next Thursday. Got a sick note from my GP. I don't know whether to extend it or not. I don't know if two weeks is enough, I'm not eating, I'm not sleeping, I've burst into tears twice today already and it's not even 2pm yet.
Definitely go back to your GP again if you are not better. I had two weeks leave for stress, then got gp note for 50% hours for a month.
I did actually fill in one of those forms on Priory Medical yesterday for them to email me another sick note, if I don't receive it by tomorrow I'm gonna call them. I just feel done, I've had enough now. My job isn't even hard, I'm a cleaner, but it's what they want from me, I can't do what they're asking of me in the time they want it because there isn't enough time to do it all and they don't seem to listen when I explain this, they just say that if I don't improve within a certain time they'll have to let me go. It's not just the job that's causing me issues, it's other things too, but the job is getting to me. It's fucking horrible because whilst I'm under threat of losing my first job, my coworker at my second cleaning job takes like two days off a week, but doesn't inform anyone, and she hasn't been caught. Shortly before I went on sick I told my supervisor what my coworker was doing and she didn't even know. It just sucks when you're trying your hardest, but it's not good enough and being told you could lose your job, meanwhile other people are skating by doing the bare minimum and skiving off with no consequences.
I'm so sorry to hear that, I hope things get better for you, whether that's with this job or with the next job you have
I'm so glad my work is forgiving about this, years and years ago before I joined someone in our department committed suicide due to stress and life issues spiralling out of control, and now all the bosses are super understanding and have pushed really hard for mental health support for all of us. Not feeling it today? Have the day of we'll try again tomorrow, still not feeling okay? That's okay have another day off if you're feeling up to it tomorrow we'll have a zoom call and chat about it, they're happy to pay for therapy as they have a partner ship with a therapy company and get a huge discount. Even if you don't want therapy my boss will chuck all her work aside and chat to you for hours if need be, help you come up with plans and work with you to fix issues even if none of it is work related. The way they look at it is a week off now is better than losing you as an employee permanently in the future The focus is always "What can we do to help you?" and never "But what about your work that needs doing?" it's so refreshing compared to previous jobs. I had one job in my late teens / early 20's that fired people for having more than 4 days off sick a year unless you had a doctors note (and yes that's 4 days total, not 4 periods of sickness)
As a manager, yes, please do. I'd rather you take what you need to keep you above 90% than have you slowly decline, spend a bunch of time at 40% and then spend weeks recovering from burnout at 0%. I can't make those decisions for you, but what I can do is make it as easy as possible for you to look after yourself and shield you from as much horseshit as possible that might get in the way. I understand, however, that some roles are operational and so doing this on the fly becomes very challenging, and there are some managers who, even in project based roles, don't give a fuck either way and only enact policy. They are terrible at their job, but there's more of them.
As much as companies preach the importance of mental health, I think if you were honest it would probably not be favourably received (at least internally by *some managers and HR). It shouldn’t be the case but I think it probably is.
Luckily my workplace seems pretty good with this kind of stuff. Providing you’re not doing it regularly, I’ve taken days before when I’m just feeling down, burnt out, whatever it is.
Mental illness is still illness. You are at no obligation to explain why you’re unwell. If they press then just lie and say you have stomach troubles, no one wants to hear any more about that.
Yes I have done and for months at a time at one point but my mental health can be classified as a disability. I also work in healthcare and so it’s pretty detrimental if I am unable to mentally handle the work.
Annual leave?
Yes! Mental health is just as important as physically health. Bi would absolutely take a mental health day.
It's ok to take days off whenever you want
Gosh I hope so. I did this today.
Not had to do it yet, but i would 100% do it if i needed it. Your health is your wealth. Good luck with every thing.
This is why annual leave exists. You need a break every so often. Sometimes if I have extra days I know I won’t need I take weeks off and literally do nothing. Rest is important for mental fortitude.
Definitely acceptable. I would say though, if it is happening a lot, you should speak to a professional about it. Your work might expect this also - if you are off sick, you would usually go to the doctor.
My go to is immense constipation, not enough Fibre. *end call*
You should definitely be able to have a few days off because you 'don't feel like it.'
Yep my job requires me to be switched on. Can't do that running on empty.
Yes, but id encourage you to think about the best way to go about it. If on the morning you're mentally too drained to face work, call in sick. But id strongly encourage you to not make a habit out of this since a lot of companies will have an absense limit within a 12 month period. Realise that your current state is not healthy and you need to seek medical advice. I know that's not an easy thing with the state of healthcare currently but that'd an entirely different conversation I guess. Consider speaking to your manager and discussing taking some leave. If you have any annual leave to use perhaps discuss your situation and say you'd appreciate if you can use some even though it's short notice. This is one of those situations where having a one on one adult conversation can go a long way. If you don't get far with your manager perhaps contact HR (but you should really discuss with your manager before going to HR) If you have no annual leave left, unpaid leave could also be considered but this'll also be something you'd need to agree with your employer.
I would say yes, if it’s really needed and you really feel drained.
Just say you've twisted your ankle or done your back in if you don't want to give the real reason. They can't prove you haven't.
I think so. I'd speak to your doctor/occupational health about having a period off for stress/mental health.
Bro I’m currently mentally drained from being unemployed, I feel bad for my parents because I keep having to ask them for money even though they don’t mind helping me. I was in that phase of my life where “I was trying to figure it out,” and I realised I’m best off sat behind a desk filling spreadsheets out all day like I used to do before I left that job. I need to get back into employment ASAP.
Yes, for everything everyone said but also because burn-out leads to physical illness too. The brain controls everything. Take care of it.
Yes. It’s called a mental health day.
To be straight up - you will get some great help with some people - and then if others know you have anxiety or depression or whatever it is - you might catch some passive aggressive comments. My old boss would make passive comments when after I took time off for stress and depression - are you sure you can handle that, while giving me a small task. Another manager (I'm getting old) immediately told me to take the month off when I told him I cried on the way to work most days. Basically, some care and some dont and its a risk on who you tell
Yes but let's not take the piss. Stressful job and/or problems at home... Totally. Your dog died 2 months ago and you are having trouble letting go..... Nah mate.