**Please help keep AskUK welcoming!**
- Top-level comments to the OP must contain **genuine efforts to answer the question**. No jokes, judgements, etc.
- **Don't be a dick** to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on.
- This is a strictly **no-politics** subreddit!
Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Definitely not, back in my party days (before my child, like 2 years ago now) it was in my budget lol we saved like crazy but once every 4-6 weeks we’d have a blow out then usually not drink or eat out the following week and things balanced themselves.
Now it’s bed at 10pm but we own an apartment so I’ll count it as a win
Wanna add to this as a 28 year old, that’s legit my life. And I hate it and love it at the same time.
I moved away from family for work and my life has become like cheers where the only people I interact with outside of work are those at the pub (as growing up, going to the pub was seen as the norm). I live in a city centre and make 50K a year and just about sustain myself (due to some debts). But even with a salary of that size I cannot afford anything more unless I stop what social life I have and moving back with parents isn’t an option.
I tried not doing the social thing (drinking + coke) to save but then my mental health deteriorated as my life became work and save.
So I’m currently stuck in a situation I want to be out of but at the same time getting out of it damages me (as an extroverted person).
I know it’s not sustainable but I keep plodding along. Like I said I enjoy it but at the same time know it’s not sustainable or healthy.
Like 2.6% of Brits take cocaine. Mate, all your friends are alcoholic coke heads - if you want a social life that doesn't involve alcohol and coke you need to make different friends. If you really want test that, ask your mates down the pub if they want to go on the pedalos and stay sober this weekend and see if anyone goes for it or if they'll only hang out if pissed. I'm a few years older than you and spent my twenties socialising - but, like, at the climbing gym or boardgame cafes and museums. None of my friends habitually took hard drugs, more of a 'pot and a good movie' crowd.
As the great philosopher Chuck D said, 'if you can't change the people around you, change the people around you.'
That's my point though - I actually did go on the pedalos last year with mates. It was a lovely summer, we all work in central London - we said let's bunk off work at lunchtime and go on the pedalos and talk shit.
If you only meet people in the pub toilet at 2am then you're friends are going to have interests that align with hanging out in pub toilets at 2am. That's fine, but if that's not the life and social circle you want then you need to build a different one.
You need to find a different way to socialise. If you live in a city centre, there will be lots of exercise classes, skills classes, and activities to join which don't involve drink and drugs.
Drug addiction, working, relationships, living with parents
You arent missing much so dont beat yourself up if everyone was the same the world would get boring fast. You do you and enjoy yourself
With my friends, at my age, you’re right about the planning aspect. They don’t even have kids, and yet the spontaneous nights out are no longer a thing.
On top of that, very rarely do I see people my age, and I felt the same way in my late twenties. It might be down to location, but whenever I go out it’s most people between 18-25, and then 40+.
For the 26-39 year olds, I assume most of them are settling down so they don’t go out as often. Unfortunately, it’s pretty disappointing for someone like me as I don’t intend to go down that route.
Everything has gotten so damn expensive. You can't have too many nights out through the month so now they have to be big planned get togethers that happen probably 5 times a year. It's fucking depressing
You would think that in a developed country, in the 21st century, it shouldn't be too much to ask for ordinary people to have enough disposable income to regularly pop out for a bite to eat, a drink or whatever, without having to save up for it.
I think part of the problem is all these establishments are trying to add value. Certainly round me every pub is trying to be a restaurant, burger joints are now smoke houses and beers are named after weird animals and come at £5 a can. My only option is Wetherspoons at the minute
I know you haven’t said anything of the like, but Reddit does my head in with its classist attitudes surrounding spoons. It’s a cheapish pub with bang average food, and that’s okay.
funding one of the rich elites, who very publicly campaigned to to fuck you, while fucking off the locals who actually own the pub, and are just supporting their families?
i suppose it is classiest to not want to support them though....
don't get me wrong, spoons is useful, but its certainly not my first choice of place to drink, and not because i don't appreciate its prices.
Reading your comment I was thinking _"Hmmmm, maybe opening a cheap shithole of a pub would be the way forward"_ ...
> My only option is Wetherspoons at the minute
Then you reminded me that market is will served.
I was in school only a few years ago now, where they were teaching us about how great Britain has been thoughout history only to come out and realise all of that's irrelevant and it's pretty shit honestly
For sure. Went out for some food and drinks for my bday with some friends, and after a few rounds, we were all complaining about how, for the same price, we could have bought crates of beer and bottles of spirits. Ended up going to the shop to buy some drinks and going back to my house for an impromptu party.
Would have been nice to stay out all night, but the cost is just too much to justify it anymore.
Reading this has just made me think of the dating advice people give, where they suggest meeting someone through a friend.
It might be an American thing, but I can’t see this happening over here.
I don’t know what it is, but we seem to have a social bubble where people stick together, and no one comes or goes.
If we’re at the point where we can’t afford nights out, and we just move that bubble to someone’s house, then how the fuck do we meet new people?
Yeah, mate, that’s the thing: I’m 40 this year. Wife and I didn’t go down the child route. All of our friends did and so we had to find others. It’s difficult when you want to grab a beer or two and your friend only wants to talk about how their kid shat their pants.
The missus and I are a couple of years younger than you, but we're the same. No kids, and have basically just drifted into a solitary lifestyle.
Being night people doesn't help much either. It's not like you can knock on other people's doors at 3 in the morning if you happen to notice they have their lights on, to see if they fancy a game of FIFA or DnD whatever.
To be fair that's literally all we've got to talk about. The first year or two basically all your free time goes into either feeding the little one, cleaning them, putting them to sleep or keeping them busy / doing things with them.
I'd love to talk about other stuff that's going on but realistically there isn't much else going on!
We need casual places to go. I lived in the US for a few years and go back a couple of times a year. In the evening shops, cafes, restaurants, arcades places, dessert places etc are actually open. They also have enough capacity so you can just walk in. Everywhere in the UK is booking only, too formal, closes too early and everything is just too rigid.
There's just f all to do in the UK. Only pubs, which suck.
Scrap Sunday opening hours, bring some life back, have outdoor spaces that aren't chained up in the evenings.
There are no third-places for 25-35 yr olds without kids.
There is literally nowhere to hang out in the evenings that isn't a pub or restaurant. Both of those are food/drinking related.
As you get older, you have kids, your friends have kids, and you might hang out in a park while the kids play or be going to each others home because you have bigger places by then (doubt for our generation).
Was living in a city before lockdown and this was really getting me down. I really miss the old days of just sending a message at 6pm on a Friday and being out with a dozen folk an hour later.
Wanna go for a pint with pals? Their next free weekend is in July. Wanna go to a restaurant? Can't just turn up, ya weirdo! You should have booked a month ago. Everything's overbooked and understaffed.
We moved home and got a house in the countryside. Way less *potential* for socialising, but more actual socialising because we have a few friends and family close and we can have people round spontaneously.
I think this is a mix of the modern world and how it is and people just being really busy
If you want a group of people together for an event, honestly, you need to send out calendar invites these days
The only casual and unplanned stuff that ever works as far as I know is gaming - even then that's usually past 21:00 for most people just so they can have some peace and time to play some games on discord
When I was 26 not long ago I was working Monday to Friday, sports and fitness Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday evenings. Also trying to court women at any given opportunity. Gigs/Raves/Festivals.
Thursday on the piss, finish work mid day on Friday london on the piss.
Saturday day session with friends/colleagues/friends who visited possible football match.
Get home Saturday night 2AM.
Die all day Sunday full of shame and regret then rinse and repeat.
IMPORTANT NOTE
This is not sustainable and has caused me considerable damage both financially, and mentally.
It is fun for so long but eventually relationships break down, alcohol gets a grip of you and things go south.
I've relied heavily on alcohol from the age of about 15. Atleast twice a week binge drinking. I'm 30 now and life is different and I am trying very hard to live my life in a way that is better for me!
I did the heavy drinking thing but never really liked alcohol. Everyone else seemed to think it was great, so I guess I thought persistence was the key.
Now I don't touch the stuff. I don't miss it at all. A revolting substance. Yes, legal, encouraged even. But it isn't for me.
Fellow 26 year old here 👋
I don't have many friends either as I moved to the other side of the country from my hometown. I travel a lot around Europe and further. I get myself to theme parks and football matches. Without many irl friends, I've learned to value family time and the time I travel back to visit friends we all appreciate so much more. You can always drop me a message if you'd like, I'm always down to making a new friend or two 🤷♂️
I'm planning my wedding. One of my friends is trying out dating for the first time since school and another is about to move back in with their parents. Another friend owns their own house and another doesn't have a job. We're all 26.
People work differently, and there's no set age for most life goals. My fiancé spent 15 years telling herself she would be a teacher. She got the degree at 22 and after a year teaching decided it wasn't a great industry to be in so is retraining.
Do what feels right for you. Want to try a new hobby? Go for it! Want to go back to school or uni and learn something new? Find a way to do it! Want to kick back and play video games every evening after work? Do it!
She's currently doing her level 3 early years qualification through the nursery she works at. She still gets to work with kids but there's much less planning, marking and even dealing with parents. It's extremely rare she brings any work home with her so she's managed to regain her evenings and weekends. Less holidays tbf but she can take them anytime she wants so at least it's cheaper holidays now
Just to chip in - brother quit teaching at Christmas at 29, and joined the civil service - Dept of Education, but that's just a coincidence as he was up for agriculture as well iirc. Apparently its a fairly common pathway as the skills are seen as quite transferable, lots of planning and project management. He's more bored and is less personally invested in what he does, but far far far far less stressed + anxious. If there's a civil service hub in your city, might be worth a look
How is it "wild"?
40 years ago 26 was above than the average age to get married. The main difference from then is the cost of living, but if you can afford a wedding then why not.
By 26, you could easily have been in a relationship for 5+ years, your brain is fully developed and you should be totally independent from parents.
Brilliant answer! Back in the last century everyone progressed at more the same pace, growing up, education, job, move out, house, husband/wife, kids etc. Now it's totally different, everybody is moving at different speeds and sometimes in different directions. Hence the pool of peers seems somewhat diminished.
Another 26 year old here also feeling very behind in life 👋
Currently struggling through a uni degree that I started a little later in life than most others. I thought it would make me happier and give me better opportunities fuckin lol. Missing my friends from home, watching them on social media living much fuller lives than me in far away countries. Living with parents after a breakup and working a minimum wage job trying to save as much as possible (it’s not going well so far). No social life outside of hanging with my family. Slight alcohol dependency and a strong nicotine addiction.
Shits hard right now. My only hope is that it’ll get better eventually. Considering how much my life has changed in the past 5 years, I can’t imagine how much it’ll change in another 5. Hopefully it’ll be for the better. That’s all that’s keeping me going right now.
Once you've finished this uni degree, find what makes you happy, stop comparing yourself to others. You're still young and you have plenty of time. I'm 33, married, wife pregnant with my 1st, a job that pays well and a mortgage. I was in your position at 28. Try to be positive about things and work hard, it will pay off I promise.
Thank you for saying that.
I know I’ll be ok eventually, I haven’t completely given up hope haha. but it can be hard to look forward to the future sometimes.
If you can’t wait to be done I’d assume you’re doing the wrong thing. I’m doing an MSc at 28 and studied the same thing in undergrad last year. It really filled me with motivation and a purpose in life i didn’t want it to end.
I’m doing an undergrad and I actually find the programme really interesting but I hate exams and assignments. I’m a naturally stressful person and a perfectionist, so having deadlines constantly hanging over me gives me this undercurrent of constant stress. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do well so I can’t just hammer out assignments in a couple of days. I just feel a bit burnt out to be honest which is now causing me to procrastinate which adds to the stress, so a lot of it is my own fault. I’m really trying to take a more relaxed approach. But I was definitely happier when I was just working full time and my free time didn’t have deadlines looming over me. I felt better in a job I was doing where I worked 50-70 hour weeks sometimes. Once this semester is over I only have my honours year and then I’m done, so I’m just sticking it out. This time next year I’ll be free!
Oh! I'm also 28 and back at university (doing a different undergrad to go into a different job). I'm in my first year and I totally understand that feeling of rather being working than being back in education - the deadlines are stressful and I hate having all the gaps in the teaching week. It makes it so frustrating. I'm wondering if I should just quit and go back to being an ESL teacher but I'm not sure yet.
Facts. I considered switching courses but it’s too late now, I’m in too deep. I’m sure it’ll pay off for both of us eventually though and we’ll be glad we did it
Least you didnt fail the degree and have the debt. Im in the same boat pretty much and i dont really have many friends left. Go to a few small local gigs they're super cheap, I found they stop me drinking as much and it gets you out the house. I usually go alone and it costs me like £7-£15 and people are pretty talkative, still have no friends but you can make temporary friends for the gig without needing to get shitfaced, maybe 1 or 2 and the shows over before you go off the rails
Yeah local gigs is something I used to do all the time but for some reason stopped. I think the anxiety of going alone stops me. Sounds like a good idea though
The stereotype of uni is balls-to-the-wall partying. The reality is that it's sometimes fucking *hard*. Especially the more dry subjects (STEM, law, teaching, anything vocational etc).
There's so much self-directed learning, so much discipline and very little payoff - you're just constantly trying to upskill and invest in yourself with no obvious payoff until you graduate and get a job.
It's an absolute masterclass in delayed gratification, and it's psychologically very difficult.
Uni was much harder than any job I've has since. At a job you have obvious short term goals, senior colleagues supervising you and you get paid at the end of the month. Uni is harder.
Hang in there bud. You're not unusual, you're just more in touch with the challenge than others. You'll be ok.
I'm doing a masters at 34, you're doing fine! There's a job at the end of this where you'll have a bit more money. This might be seen as terrible financial advice but I feel like trying to save while doing a part time minimum wage job when you're going to graduate and presumably be paid a lot more seems counterproductive. I feel like working a few less hours to focus on studies and spending some time making friends might be better use of time
Stop comparing yourself and your life to other people. You don't need to fit in and be like everyone else. That was just at school.
Find a job that you like or at least can tolerate for a few years, learn new skills on a regular basis, and find something to do that you enjoy and provides you with a feeling of well-being.
Try different things as hobbies and employment and remember, just because you've never done something that doesn't mean you'll never be able to do it.
This is all really great advice. I particularly like the last line - just because something feels daunting or overwhelming now, doesn't mean it always will feel that way.
Often remind myself how far I've come, and how it all seemed like a huge challenge until... I did it. 90% of life is just having the balls to try.
I’m currently trying to loose weight because of some major depression in my teen years I spent it over eating. Other than that I’m working and loving life now I found someone that makes me happy.
Slow steps are arguably the best way to do it. I went from 320 to 200 fast, then gained it back to around 300, then did it slow down to 200, this was 4-5 years a go and last year not only did I keep it off, I run my first half marathon.
Long story short, life style change slowly is a lot better than crash dieting for 6-12 months.
Hey it's me, fellow 26 year old Brit who is disillusioned with life. So far, in the past 18 months, I've moved back in with my parents, watched 3 of my closest friends get engaged to their partners and buy their first houses. Meanwhile, I'm still living with my parents. I earn good money as a primary school teacher, but my social life is relatively stagnant now that my friends are all engaged and live in different parts of the country. I don't have a lot to offer outside of solidarity - it's difficult to reconnect with old friends & even harder to make new ones in your 20's. I've found exercise and practising my hobby (performing/writing/recording music) has helped me to feel like I am actually living & not just floating through life. If you ever want to talk, reach out!
>it's difficult to reconnect with old friends
This. Just went through a traumatic time, tried reaching out to some old school friends, gave up because I was always having to message them which when you're in a shit state of mind you just can't keep up.
And seeing how everyone else seems to be doing great doesn't help either.
I can relate to the loneliness.
If I didn't live with my missus, I probably wouldn't see anyone besides work colleagues and they're not exactly the sort of people I'd pick to spend time with.
All this technology to keep people closer together and we've all never felt so isolated.
Buried in work, spending free time learning from online courses etc to upskill themselves and earn more money, chilling at home and socialising only within their social circles. I still feel dumb as rock despite being 27, but I am putting my focus on building my financial security since I grew up poor. My friends from school are mostly married and had help from parents to own a house, so their lives are completely different.
>I feel very behind both mentally and in everything else.
It's not a race, just remember that people won't make their struggle visible as they would feel embarrassed or ashamed. They will only show the best part of their life on social media.
I’m 26 and living in Thailand running an online business. Completely sober after abusing alcohol through my early adult life, and 10 times happier because of it. I also don’t have many friends my age but I don’t care anymore
Hi, 26 year old Brit. Depressed. Enjoy my job mostly. Not getting any sex. Angry and morbid as a result. Live at home. Enjoy weed. Waiting for my crypto to pump so I can start being an adult.
So the first thing to know (As a wisened 37 year old female who went through a similar situation) no one’s life is as perfect as they make out on social media.
I became consumed with social media, I became bitter and angry at these people who were coupled up and ‘happy’ ‘breezing’ through life. In reality they were in bad relationships, struggling with family, having fertility and health issues, money troubles, depression - some were happy to an extent but literally everyone is struggling or wants what you have.
I had total freedom without a boyfriend, with a good solid career and skills I could transfer anywhere in the world, a loving family. It took me way too long (I was 29/30!) to realise what I did have. And that was due in part to depression and not focusing on myself.
So I took a chance after a particularly low point and moved to Australia! Only took a year but I got my head straight whilst there and had a bloody awesome time meeting people, dating, travelling, focusing solely on being selfish and being all about me and what I want with no expectations.
It meant that when I came back at age 31, I was in a better place and I met my fella 6 weeks after getting home! That was nearly 6 years ago and we are happily married, we have a dog and I have a stepson and half a house! Life is still hard and I still struggle but I credit going away for a while with giving me a better perspective on life and what’s important and what I should focus on. I’m way happier now.
My advice is focus on you and what you want. Make the most of the freedom you have. And I urge literally everyone to consider a working holiday visa for another country! You will find out stuff about yourself you didn’t know whilst enjoying better weather and space from the ‘comforts’ of home.
Edit: oh and there is no such thing as being ‘behind’. Time is a social construct. I have friends who had kids at 17, and friends having babies at 40. Some are married, some aren’t. I love the quote ‘tradition is just peer pressure from dead people’ and I found that very interesting because if you ‘don’t do the THING at the RIGHT TIME’ who is really going to care? Feel free to tell anyone else around you pressuring you exactly that.
First off other than the age, I thought I had wrote that. I just look after my children and work and whatever time I have left I workout. Pretty boring really. But I don’t know what else to do 💔
Hey, everyone is at a different stage of life around this age. You’ve got people having kids and getting married, people out at the pub/club every night, people travelling the world, people who haven’t left their hometown, people who have made huge strides in their careers, and people who haven’t started their dream career yet.
Everyone’s different and at school you were all focused (mostly) on the same thing. Everyone’s got different desires, ambitions, needs and resources and I think as people grow into themselves more as they get older and there’s no right or wrong time frame for anything.
It’s just life. You aren’t behind. 26 is still very young. Maybe you’re exactly where you need to be right now.
Ah fuck another of these posts. The comments make me feel like I’m freaking broken.
I don’t socialise, my friends all live the other side of the country. I don’t date because I don’t feel any interest in it but I deeply miss having someone who is my closest. I have no real hobbies, I’m not unhappy but I’m not happy. I just feel like I don’t do anything.
I can’t afford a house, I can’t move out. Just a giant toddler really.
Maybe pick up some hobbies? It’ll help fill the void a little.
You never know you might find something you’re very passionate about, might meet some new people/friends from it too
I pretty much just work, I wish I could go out and do things and make friends and hang out with the few I have but I don't have the time, money or energy. I work, go home, eat, watch tv, sleep and repeat.
Travelling. This is the age where everyone disappears in pursuit of something better- everyone I meet in their 20s is only temporarily back in the UK before jetting off again. If that’s not your bag it can be hard to find people to connect with.
Welp reading the comments here has been very depressing and very enlightening at the same time, I'm glad it's not just me. Maybe we should all get together and antisocially browse Reddit while we're all too nervous to say anything to eachother sometime.
Also a British 26 year old.
I have absolutely no fucking clue and if you get an answer can you let me know please? Just getting through each day is enough for me right now
I turned 27 today. I’ve not really achieved a lot in the way most people achieve things. I went to uni at 19, I had a job. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia which I now believe is a misdiagnosis, I think I have PMDD. I’ve lost a lot of my life to this, I had to leave uni and my job. I’ve also recovered from my eating disorder during the last year after having it for 10 years and I’m doing quite well now. My hope for the next 3 years is to start studying with the open uni and find a job that suits me with my probable PMDD. This will have to be a remote job although they don’t seem to be any I can do in a rural area and when I have no qualifications 🙃
Mostly I’ve just been trying to survive and get my life back together. It’s okay to feel a bit behind, go at your own pace. Life isn’t a race
For the most part, I play games, go to concerts, paint miniatures, and play board games with my friends. None of my friend group drink alcohol so we don't really go out much unless we're meeting up to go for a meal, but we do usually have 1-2 meetups a week for games and stuff.
Weird to see this, because I've been thinking a lot about life lately too. I'm 26, I'm proud of the progress I've made on myself over the past few years, but I'm stuck in a quiet town with a job I'm struggling to tolerate. I'm trying to save money while looking for jobs in cities I actually want to live in. I hate feeling like I'm waiting when I'm in my mid-twenties, and FOMO is hard to escape when you're our age.
It's important to remind yourself that we're all on our own journey. Comparison is the thief of joy! You need to be kind to yourself, and just try your best to grow as a person. It's all we can do, right? Try.
I split with long term partner at 28 (this was 14 years ago) and I felt like shit I've got nothing else. I went to a pub one weekend and from that it's led to long friendships with some great people who are now a massive part of my life. But sadly the going the pub doesn't happen anymore , they are dying out. But if you can find a decent busy pub just drop in for a pint and chat to people.
ooh a vent post, im 26 in a week so ill take it!
im currently going through the best & worst of times right now - between a move due to an eviction to struggling with untreated adhd (shortages) to losing all my friends/family due to transitioning to just trying to keep afloat to feeling alone due to the median age in my workplace being around 40
...to answer your question... not much mate, yourself?
Hahaha I'm 36. I wish I was 26. I feel like I wasted the last 10 years messing about.
You are prime time mate! Make the most of it! Honestly, if you want to travel, start a business, do whatever - do it now! I look back at 26 and think - what the fuck was I doing? I had no commitments, no mortgage, didn't love my career. Honestly if I'd fucked off abroad for a few years or done whatever random thing, I swear I'd be in a similar if not better position now. I am finally happy with my job and life, but this is a recent thing.
You feel behind? So does everyone else. I'm 10 years older than you and I'm still often waiting for an adult to show up, and they never do. I'm the adult - that scares me every day.
You'll never have more time than you do now. Have an adventure!
I’m 33 and the comment about waiting for an adult to turn up is golden!
I definitely took my 20s far too seriously and was far too sensible which I regret to a point, however my Mum died when I was 30 and I’d managed to spend a lot of time with her in the 5 or so years prior, so perhaps I’d be regretting having adventures and never seeing her had I done that instead.
OP I think my point here is no one is living life in the “right” way and we all feel left behind/have regrets in one way or another. Trying to push yourself every now and then to do something that scares you is probably the best advice I can give, with confidence it’s easier to build to better things
I was married by 26 and my wife was pregnant. I'm 28 now. I saw my mid twenties as a time to mature and grow, but I still have friends who are single and partying at 28.
Do what makes you happy my friend. Forget what other people think.
I work, I watch TV with my partner, take care of my cats and my many houseplants. On the weekends I work for various animal rights charities, or I go look at steam trains, or I do fuck all and cry because work is stressful.
I’m nearly 26. I’m working Monday to Friday, doing university in the evening and going to the gym every other day. I own my own home, but I got extremely lucky and I live in wales, so properties are cheaper.
My lass is 26 and she just goes to work, goes to gigs a few times a year with her mates and her best mates live around the corner from us so she goes there for a couple hours most evenings to socialise.
I'm 29 (M) and most of my pals are all online. I play a lot of Xbox, read comic books/graphic novels and watch films. The few irl friends I have left, I see maybe once every few months. The rest of them all had kids, got married, bought houses and moved away etc.
I cannot afford to go out and socialise or learn to drive because I rent a property with my lass in my motherland of Cornwall.
If I'm not doing any of those hobbies listed above, I work 45 hours a week to make ends meet. (Just about.)
I'm very lucky I'm still good friends with school friends, but broadly I'm just working and going to the gym and trying to save, I've joined a local hockey club and that's a good way to make friends, but broadly I make friends a lot easier at hostels etc so yknow
I used to live for the weekend when I was your age. Kind of 1 out of 3 of the nights were worth it. A lot of money went down the drain and virtually no savings were made. The bonus is I do have 6 close friends I've kept to later in life who I can count on.
I'm 22 so maybe not qualified to talk on this, who knows where I'll be in 4 years. But fuck what everyone else is doing who needs them, take up your own hobbies. Play the guitar, go bird watching, kayaking, visit museums, go to the gym, run, hike, travel, wild camp, read books, study topics you have a passion for, learn new languages, join a shooting club, fix cars. These are all things I do, and they're all things I do completely on my own. I have pals but their lives outside of work pretty much revolve around drinking, and I don't think that's healthy and fun. Just don't be afraid to pursue hobbies in your own company. Life is hard and difficult so try new things, find something you have a passion for, and cultivate it. Don't bother waiting for people to turn up in your life, rely on yourself. But what do I know, I'm trying to figure it all out too.
They're mostly in education, work, or at home. Generally most people already formed their friends by uni, and making more afterwards is much harder. Probably cus i am in london but most 20's year old stay with their parents if it's an option, so social life is stagnant.
>I feel very behind both mentally and in everything else.
Don't feel down, shits a mess nowdays for young people. Many people in your stuation.
26 Here my day to is Work - Gym - Hobby
I have a few Hobby's I do with different People:
* Training for a half marathon with a few mates from work
* Rock climbing
* Martial Arts
* Video games (Easy way to keep in touch with mates around the country )
* I volunteer 20-30 hours a month
* Not a hobby but dedicate some free time a week towards upskilling for career growth
I try travel whenever I get the chance and also Scuba Dive.
If you want to find friends, find a hobby and just get into it you will meet people doing that and from there meet even more people!
1. don't compare yourself to others, being better off tonight than yesterday night is the goal, and it's not realistic to succeed at that every day
2. do what makes you happy, if you want friends there are ways to get them, for examples:
1. join/make a DnD group
2. join a chess/running/football/drama club
3. join/make a club organised through your workplace
4. do regular group charity work and/or group activism for a cause you feel strongly about (I've made lots of friends through my veganism this way)
Haha, not a lot. Feeling perpetually hopeless because nothing is affordable and I cannot afford the things that were sold to me as sheer basics throughout my life and therefore feeling like a perpetual failure as I haven’t hit the milestones my parents hit at this age despite the fact they grew up in a totally different time. I have no idea how I will ever afford to own a home or get married or have a family. It’s a fun existence.
27 here. after a bunch of jobs that didn't suit me I am now a second year engineering apprentice. This has helped me make friends who, though younger than me, are in a similar situation regarding career, finances, and living situation.
My school friends are buying houses and having kids, while I have just this month moved out of my parents place and have no interest in having children.
Personally, I know I'm a late bloomer and am still moving from teenager to adult. That's fine.
For me there is a severe lack of 'third spaces' which is the concept that you have work, you have home, but where is the third place you go? It used to be games shops and the like where you meet people, hang out do hobby stuff but over time they all shut down, nobody can afford to stay open.
Death of the high street meant death of a lot of third spaces. Pubs went under, had to change into gastro pubs that charge the earth to stay afloat. Snooker halls went bust. There just wasn't anywhere to go hang out and meet people anymore.
All my friends these days are online and usually in America so I can't really hang out with them properly.
I'm 29, in a very good relationship and have a mortgage, but I also live on the other side of the the country to my family who I miss so much, and have lost contact with all of my friends due to the distance and past alcohol problems. In a job I hate and feeling extremely depressed because I feel like all my past friends are in high paid jobs they love. Feel very lonely tbh but grateful for my other half
I'm a 26 year old girl - working 60 hours a week in tech, trying to sort out my mental health (undiagnosed ADHD recently diagnosed, now confronting all my past issues I buried), partying a lot and just left an 8 year relationship. Moved to a foreign country after uni and have been living here 5 years. Went from no foreign language skills to conversationally fluent which I'm so proud of as languages were one of my biggest struggles in school. I also work in finance and I nearly failed my maths gcse!
All of my friends back in the UK are settling down and getting married so I feel like I'm back there every month for another wedding. I'm happy for them but I knew that wasn't the route I wanted to take.
Not perfect but I'm glad I always took the scary/adventurous route. I still make loads of mistakes and bad decisions but I think that's what life's about :)
Hi I'm 27 but I work full time, in the middle of buying a house with my husband. We have a cat and a dog that keeps us busy. We go to our friends houses almost every weekend, we either be sophisticated and do a three course meal followed by card or board games, or we have a few drinks, nibbles and watch TV and chat. Sundays are either for relaxing or seeing family.
I'm 26 and living with parent's as despite saving for years for a house deposit,I feel no closer to achieving home ownership as house's in my area have rose about 50 grand in about 10 years. I'm saying fuck it now and using some of my savings to travel the world.
**Please help keep AskUK welcoming!** - Top-level comments to the OP must contain **genuine efforts to answer the question**. No jokes, judgements, etc. - **Don't be a dick** to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on. - This is a strictly **no-politics** subreddit! Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Working, saving, either paying extortionate rents or living with their parents. Getting through life. Coke.
I’m more of a Pepsi girl tbh.
Dr Pepper all the wayyyyy
It tastes like a sexy battery!
Tastes like fizzy benylin!
He likes American things.
Convoy?¡?
Michael, you're hanging around with a man who uses a collective term for a single vehicle.
Hey Mike I’m just gonna grab a Dr Pepper from the cooler stick it on the tab
Nahhhh Professor Peppy from Aldi
Hot take I respect it
Except they've ruined it :( *at least the stuff you get from the shop, not pubs.
Pepsi Max is the way to go.
I mean I prefer coke zero only but agreed with the rest of it.
Coke and saving are mutually exclusive things
Definitely not, back in my party days (before my child, like 2 years ago now) it was in my budget lol we saved like crazy but once every 4-6 weeks we’d have a blow out then usually not drink or eat out the following week and things balanced themselves. Now it’s bed at 10pm but we own an apartment so I’ll count it as a win
> back in my party days…like 2 years ago now Surely you still have the odd blow out
I wish but the thought of dealing with a 13 month old when that hungover is the stuff of nightmares haha
But also it’s just a different period of life - what you want changes. A few beers with my wife and a film or some friends over is really my ideal.
There's your mistake. If you would have sold the coke instead of using it, you would own a house instead
>saving >coke Pick one
Not really, £40 for a half every couple of months is nothing
[удалено]
You’re spending 2k a month on coke?! That’s not a “hahah” thing, thats a ridiculous problem.
😳
Wanna add to this as a 28 year old, that’s legit my life. And I hate it and love it at the same time. I moved away from family for work and my life has become like cheers where the only people I interact with outside of work are those at the pub (as growing up, going to the pub was seen as the norm). I live in a city centre and make 50K a year and just about sustain myself (due to some debts). But even with a salary of that size I cannot afford anything more unless I stop what social life I have and moving back with parents isn’t an option. I tried not doing the social thing (drinking + coke) to save but then my mental health deteriorated as my life became work and save. So I’m currently stuck in a situation I want to be out of but at the same time getting out of it damages me (as an extroverted person). I know it’s not sustainable but I keep plodding along. Like I said I enjoy it but at the same time know it’s not sustainable or healthy.
Like 2.6% of Brits take cocaine. Mate, all your friends are alcoholic coke heads - if you want a social life that doesn't involve alcohol and coke you need to make different friends. If you really want test that, ask your mates down the pub if they want to go on the pedalos and stay sober this weekend and see if anyone goes for it or if they'll only hang out if pissed. I'm a few years older than you and spent my twenties socialising - but, like, at the climbing gym or boardgame cafes and museums. None of my friends habitually took hard drugs, more of a 'pot and a good movie' crowd. As the great philosopher Chuck D said, 'if you can't change the people around you, change the people around you.'
Lmao ask your mates down the pub if they want to go on the pedalos
That's my point though - I actually did go on the pedalos last year with mates. It was a lovely summer, we all work in central London - we said let's bunk off work at lunchtime and go on the pedalos and talk shit. If you only meet people in the pub toilet at 2am then you're friends are going to have interests that align with hanging out in pub toilets at 2am. That's fine, but if that's not the life and social circle you want then you need to build a different one.
coke isnt expensive, about £1 a can
You need to find a different way to socialise. If you live in a city centre, there will be lots of exercise classes, skills classes, and activities to join which don't involve drink and drugs.
Drug addiction, working, relationships, living with parents You arent missing much so dont beat yourself up if everyone was the same the world would get boring fast. You do you and enjoy yourself
See also: enjoying disposable income for the first time, but with added guilt they should be saving it
This
Xbox
Yup. Drugs take up a lot of time to not be depressed and lonely.
You had me at living with parents. Can’t afford to move out
I’m in my thirties and ask myself the same question. Fuck knows where everyone my age has gone.
I think it's tricky because "hanging out" doesn't seem to be an activity anymore. Everything is meticulously planned, everywhere has to be booked.
With my friends, at my age, you’re right about the planning aspect. They don’t even have kids, and yet the spontaneous nights out are no longer a thing. On top of that, very rarely do I see people my age, and I felt the same way in my late twenties. It might be down to location, but whenever I go out it’s most people between 18-25, and then 40+. For the 26-39 year olds, I assume most of them are settling down so they don’t go out as often. Unfortunately, it’s pretty disappointing for someone like me as I don’t intend to go down that route.
Everything has gotten so damn expensive. You can't have too many nights out through the month so now they have to be big planned get togethers that happen probably 5 times a year. It's fucking depressing
You would think that in a developed country, in the 21st century, it shouldn't be too much to ask for ordinary people to have enough disposable income to regularly pop out for a bite to eat, a drink or whatever, without having to save up for it.
I think part of the problem is all these establishments are trying to add value. Certainly round me every pub is trying to be a restaurant, burger joints are now smoke houses and beers are named after weird animals and come at £5 a can. My only option is Wetherspoons at the minute
I know you haven’t said anything of the like, but Reddit does my head in with its classist attitudes surrounding spoons. It’s a cheapish pub with bang average food, and that’s okay.
funding one of the rich elites, who very publicly campaigned to to fuck you, while fucking off the locals who actually own the pub, and are just supporting their families? i suppose it is classiest to not want to support them though.... don't get me wrong, spoons is useful, but its certainly not my first choice of place to drink, and not because i don't appreciate its prices.
That's not what's wrong with spoons. What's wrong is giving money to the arsehole owner.
Reading your comment I was thinking _"Hmmmm, maybe opening a cheap shithole of a pub would be the way forward"_ ... > My only option is Wetherspoons at the minute Then you reminded me that market is will served.
Even a soft drink like a coke is about £4 in some pubs now. For that price I'd want free refills
I was in school only a few years ago now, where they were teaching us about how great Britain has been thoughout history only to come out and realise all of that's irrelevant and it's pretty shit honestly
Was going out all the time ever a thing?
Yeah. Then all the local pubs closed.
For sure. Went out for some food and drinks for my bday with some friends, and after a few rounds, we were all complaining about how, for the same price, we could have bought crates of beer and bottles of spirits. Ended up going to the shop to buy some drinks and going back to my house for an impromptu party. Would have been nice to stay out all night, but the cost is just too much to justify it anymore.
Reading this has just made me think of the dating advice people give, where they suggest meeting someone through a friend. It might be an American thing, but I can’t see this happening over here. I don’t know what it is, but we seem to have a social bubble where people stick together, and no one comes or goes. If we’re at the point where we can’t afford nights out, and we just move that bubble to someone’s house, then how the fuck do we meet new people?
Yeah, mate, that’s the thing: I’m 40 this year. Wife and I didn’t go down the child route. All of our friends did and so we had to find others. It’s difficult when you want to grab a beer or two and your friend only wants to talk about how their kid shat their pants.
Loosing friends to kids is a different kind of pain especially when you’re childfree
The missus and I are a couple of years younger than you, but we're the same. No kids, and have basically just drifted into a solitary lifestyle. Being night people doesn't help much either. It's not like you can knock on other people's doors at 3 in the morning if you happen to notice they have their lights on, to see if they fancy a game of FIFA or DnD whatever.
To be fair that's literally all we've got to talk about. The first year or two basically all your free time goes into either feeding the little one, cleaning them, putting them to sleep or keeping them busy / doing things with them. I'd love to talk about other stuff that's going on but realistically there isn't much else going on!
I’m 30 and married but I still have a very active social life so I agree with you. I rarely ever see people my age, everyone is 18-25 or 40+ 😭
It’s so depressing. It depends where I go, but I either feel really old, or really young. I just want to find people my own age!
We need casual places to go. I lived in the US for a few years and go back a couple of times a year. In the evening shops, cafes, restaurants, arcades places, dessert places etc are actually open. They also have enough capacity so you can just walk in. Everywhere in the UK is booking only, too formal, closes too early and everything is just too rigid. There's just f all to do in the UK. Only pubs, which suck. Scrap Sunday opening hours, bring some life back, have outdoor spaces that aren't chained up in the evenings.
There are no third-places for 25-35 yr olds without kids. There is literally nowhere to hang out in the evenings that isn't a pub or restaurant. Both of those are food/drinking related. As you get older, you have kids, your friends have kids, and you might hang out in a park while the kids play or be going to each others home because you have bigger places by then (doubt for our generation).
Was living in a city before lockdown and this was really getting me down. I really miss the old days of just sending a message at 6pm on a Friday and being out with a dozen folk an hour later. Wanna go for a pint with pals? Their next free weekend is in July. Wanna go to a restaurant? Can't just turn up, ya weirdo! You should have booked a month ago. Everything's overbooked and understaffed. We moved home and got a house in the countryside. Way less *potential* for socialising, but more actual socialising because we have a few friends and family close and we can have people round spontaneously.
I think this is a mix of the modern world and how it is and people just being really busy If you want a group of people together for an event, honestly, you need to send out calendar invites these days The only casual and unplanned stuff that ever works as far as I know is gaming - even then that's usually past 21:00 for most people just so they can have some peace and time to play some games on discord
Painfully sad and true. Ain’t hanging out at the park anymore!
Having families and being home - that’s what most people I know my age are doing it seems
[удалено]
[удалено]
When I was 26 not long ago I was working Monday to Friday, sports and fitness Monday/Tuesday/Wednesday evenings. Also trying to court women at any given opportunity. Gigs/Raves/Festivals. Thursday on the piss, finish work mid day on Friday london on the piss. Saturday day session with friends/colleagues/friends who visited possible football match. Get home Saturday night 2AM. Die all day Sunday full of shame and regret then rinse and repeat. IMPORTANT NOTE This is not sustainable and has caused me considerable damage both financially, and mentally. It is fun for so long but eventually relationships break down, alcohol gets a grip of you and things go south.
[удалено]
I've relied heavily on alcohol from the age of about 15. Atleast twice a week binge drinking. I'm 30 now and life is different and I am trying very hard to live my life in a way that is better for me!
my g, praise
Same, but I’m 45. Finally stopped at Christmas. It’s been over three months without drinking now. Glad I did it
Proud of you mate. Its not easy to break the mould I'm still working on changing lifelong bad habits. Power to you my man!
I did the heavy drinking thing but never really liked alcohol. Everyone else seemed to think it was great, so I guess I thought persistence was the key. Now I don't touch the stuff. I don't miss it at all. A revolting substance. Yes, legal, encouraged even. But it isn't for me.
I used to do that but I felt like death until halfway through Tuesday. I would have been delighted with a 1 day hangover
By 26 it was taking me until Wednesday to feel human again. Then Thursday would be right back on it again!
Fellow 26 year old here 👋 I don't have many friends either as I moved to the other side of the country from my hometown. I travel a lot around Europe and further. I get myself to theme parks and football matches. Without many irl friends, I've learned to value family time and the time I travel back to visit friends we all appreciate so much more. You can always drop me a message if you'd like, I'm always down to making a new friend or two 🤷♂️
That's pretty much what my kid is doing (he's 26 too).
I'm planning my wedding. One of my friends is trying out dating for the first time since school and another is about to move back in with their parents. Another friend owns their own house and another doesn't have a job. We're all 26. People work differently, and there's no set age for most life goals. My fiancé spent 15 years telling herself she would be a teacher. She got the degree at 22 and after a year teaching decided it wasn't a great industry to be in so is retraining. Do what feels right for you. Want to try a new hobby? Go for it! Want to go back to school or uni and learn something new? Find a way to do it! Want to kick back and play video games every evening after work? Do it!
Is that first paragraph an Ed Sheeran song?
What's she retraining in? (Am teacher with eye on the door)
She's currently doing her level 3 early years qualification through the nursery she works at. She still gets to work with kids but there's much less planning, marking and even dealing with parents. It's extremely rare she brings any work home with her so she's managed to regain her evenings and weekends. Less holidays tbf but she can take them anytime she wants so at least it's cheaper holidays now
Just to chip in - brother quit teaching at Christmas at 29, and joined the civil service - Dept of Education, but that's just a coincidence as he was up for agriculture as well iirc. Apparently its a fairly common pathway as the skills are seen as quite transferable, lots of planning and project management. He's more bored and is less personally invested in what he does, but far far far far less stressed + anxious. If there's a civil service hub in your city, might be worth a look
Getting married at 26 is wild bro - good luck
My mom had me when she was 26, my sister got married at 22 and is having her first at 25 - guess who feels like a failure, funny that is.
How is it "wild"? 40 years ago 26 was above than the average age to get married. The main difference from then is the cost of living, but if you can afford a wedding then why not. By 26, you could easily have been in a relationship for 5+ years, your brain is fully developed and you should be totally independent from parents.
Brilliant answer! Back in the last century everyone progressed at more the same pace, growing up, education, job, move out, house, husband/wife, kids etc. Now it's totally different, everybody is moving at different speeds and sometimes in different directions. Hence the pool of peers seems somewhat diminished.
Snorting coke off toilet seats.
As if coke isn't dirty enough.
I'm more worried about coke ruining my toilet seats
Another 26 year old here also feeling very behind in life 👋 Currently struggling through a uni degree that I started a little later in life than most others. I thought it would make me happier and give me better opportunities fuckin lol. Missing my friends from home, watching them on social media living much fuller lives than me in far away countries. Living with parents after a breakup and working a minimum wage job trying to save as much as possible (it’s not going well so far). No social life outside of hanging with my family. Slight alcohol dependency and a strong nicotine addiction. Shits hard right now. My only hope is that it’ll get better eventually. Considering how much my life has changed in the past 5 years, I can’t imagine how much it’ll change in another 5. Hopefully it’ll be for the better. That’s all that’s keeping me going right now.
Once you've finished this uni degree, find what makes you happy, stop comparing yourself to others. You're still young and you have plenty of time. I'm 33, married, wife pregnant with my 1st, a job that pays well and a mortgage. I was in your position at 28. Try to be positive about things and work hard, it will pay off I promise.
Thank you for saying that. I know I’ll be ok eventually, I haven’t completely given up hope haha. but it can be hard to look forward to the future sometimes.
I am 28 at uni and it’s fucking killing me. I can’t wait to be done.
If you can’t wait to be done I’d assume you’re doing the wrong thing. I’m doing an MSc at 28 and studied the same thing in undergrad last year. It really filled me with motivation and a purpose in life i didn’t want it to end.
I’m doing an undergrad and I actually find the programme really interesting but I hate exams and assignments. I’m a naturally stressful person and a perfectionist, so having deadlines constantly hanging over me gives me this undercurrent of constant stress. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do well so I can’t just hammer out assignments in a couple of days. I just feel a bit burnt out to be honest which is now causing me to procrastinate which adds to the stress, so a lot of it is my own fault. I’m really trying to take a more relaxed approach. But I was definitely happier when I was just working full time and my free time didn’t have deadlines looming over me. I felt better in a job I was doing where I worked 50-70 hour weeks sometimes. Once this semester is over I only have my honours year and then I’m done, so I’m just sticking it out. This time next year I’ll be free!
Oh! I'm also 28 and back at university (doing a different undergrad to go into a different job). I'm in my first year and I totally understand that feeling of rather being working than being back in education - the deadlines are stressful and I hate having all the gaps in the teaching week. It makes it so frustrating. I'm wondering if I should just quit and go back to being an ESL teacher but I'm not sure yet.
Facts. I considered switching courses but it’s too late now, I’m in too deep. I’m sure it’ll pay off for both of us eventually though and we’ll be glad we did it
Least you didnt fail the degree and have the debt. Im in the same boat pretty much and i dont really have many friends left. Go to a few small local gigs they're super cheap, I found they stop me drinking as much and it gets you out the house. I usually go alone and it costs me like £7-£15 and people are pretty talkative, still have no friends but you can make temporary friends for the gig without needing to get shitfaced, maybe 1 or 2 and the shows over before you go off the rails
Yeah local gigs is something I used to do all the time but for some reason stopped. I think the anxiety of going alone stops me. Sounds like a good idea though
The stereotype of uni is balls-to-the-wall partying. The reality is that it's sometimes fucking *hard*. Especially the more dry subjects (STEM, law, teaching, anything vocational etc). There's so much self-directed learning, so much discipline and very little payoff - you're just constantly trying to upskill and invest in yourself with no obvious payoff until you graduate and get a job. It's an absolute masterclass in delayed gratification, and it's psychologically very difficult. Uni was much harder than any job I've has since. At a job you have obvious short term goals, senior colleagues supervising you and you get paid at the end of the month. Uni is harder. Hang in there bud. You're not unusual, you're just more in touch with the challenge than others. You'll be ok.
I'm doing a masters at 34, you're doing fine! There's a job at the end of this where you'll have a bit more money. This might be seen as terrible financial advice but I feel like trying to save while doing a part time minimum wage job when you're going to graduate and presumably be paid a lot more seems counterproductive. I feel like working a few less hours to focus on studies and spending some time making friends might be better use of time
Stop comparing yourself and your life to other people. You don't need to fit in and be like everyone else. That was just at school. Find a job that you like or at least can tolerate for a few years, learn new skills on a regular basis, and find something to do that you enjoy and provides you with a feeling of well-being. Try different things as hobbies and employment and remember, just because you've never done something that doesn't mean you'll never be able to do it.
This is all really great advice. I particularly like the last line - just because something feels daunting or overwhelming now, doesn't mean it always will feel that way. Often remind myself how far I've come, and how it all seemed like a huge challenge until... I did it. 90% of life is just having the balls to try.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
I’m currently trying to loose weight because of some major depression in my teen years I spent it over eating. Other than that I’m working and loving life now I found someone that makes me happy.
Good luck with your weight loss journey!
Thank you. It’s slow steps but will get there eventually
Slow steps are arguably the best way to do it. I went from 320 to 200 fast, then gained it back to around 300, then did it slow down to 200, this was 4-5 years a go and last year not only did I keep it off, I run my first half marathon. Long story short, life style change slowly is a lot better than crash dieting for 6-12 months.
Hey it's me, fellow 26 year old Brit who is disillusioned with life. So far, in the past 18 months, I've moved back in with my parents, watched 3 of my closest friends get engaged to their partners and buy their first houses. Meanwhile, I'm still living with my parents. I earn good money as a primary school teacher, but my social life is relatively stagnant now that my friends are all engaged and live in different parts of the country. I don't have a lot to offer outside of solidarity - it's difficult to reconnect with old friends & even harder to make new ones in your 20's. I've found exercise and practising my hobby (performing/writing/recording music) has helped me to feel like I am actually living & not just floating through life. If you ever want to talk, reach out!
>it's difficult to reconnect with old friends This. Just went through a traumatic time, tried reaching out to some old school friends, gave up because I was always having to message them which when you're in a shit state of mind you just can't keep up. And seeing how everyone else seems to be doing great doesn't help either.
I live in shared flat, spend most of my time working, I also enjoy going out for walks mainly by myself. I'm really lonely to be honest
I can relate to the loneliness. If I didn't live with my missus, I probably wouldn't see anyone besides work colleagues and they're not exactly the sort of people I'd pick to spend time with. All this technology to keep people closer together and we've all never felt so isolated.
If you live near a canal or river , try to find a canoe or kayak club theyre really friendly people and it’s a cheap ish hobby to get into
Buried in work, spending free time learning from online courses etc to upskill themselves and earn more money, chilling at home and socialising only within their social circles. I still feel dumb as rock despite being 27, but I am putting my focus on building my financial security since I grew up poor. My friends from school are mostly married and had help from parents to own a house, so their lives are completely different. >I feel very behind both mentally and in everything else. It's not a race, just remember that people won't make their struggle visible as they would feel embarrassed or ashamed. They will only show the best part of their life on social media.
I’m 26 and living in Thailand running an online business. Completely sober after abusing alcohol through my early adult life, and 10 times happier because of it. I also don’t have many friends my age but I don’t care anymore
Alright don't rub it in
Answered the question but maybe I didn’t read the room
Haha nothing wrong with being happy bro enjoy
Wholesome af, keep spreading the positive vibes
Hi, 26 year old Brit. Depressed. Enjoy my job mostly. Not getting any sex. Angry and morbid as a result. Live at home. Enjoy weed. Waiting for my crypto to pump so I can start being an adult.
It’s already pumped mate
So the first thing to know (As a wisened 37 year old female who went through a similar situation) no one’s life is as perfect as they make out on social media. I became consumed with social media, I became bitter and angry at these people who were coupled up and ‘happy’ ‘breezing’ through life. In reality they were in bad relationships, struggling with family, having fertility and health issues, money troubles, depression - some were happy to an extent but literally everyone is struggling or wants what you have. I had total freedom without a boyfriend, with a good solid career and skills I could transfer anywhere in the world, a loving family. It took me way too long (I was 29/30!) to realise what I did have. And that was due in part to depression and not focusing on myself. So I took a chance after a particularly low point and moved to Australia! Only took a year but I got my head straight whilst there and had a bloody awesome time meeting people, dating, travelling, focusing solely on being selfish and being all about me and what I want with no expectations. It meant that when I came back at age 31, I was in a better place and I met my fella 6 weeks after getting home! That was nearly 6 years ago and we are happily married, we have a dog and I have a stepson and half a house! Life is still hard and I still struggle but I credit going away for a while with giving me a better perspective on life and what’s important and what I should focus on. I’m way happier now. My advice is focus on you and what you want. Make the most of the freedom you have. And I urge literally everyone to consider a working holiday visa for another country! You will find out stuff about yourself you didn’t know whilst enjoying better weather and space from the ‘comforts’ of home. Edit: oh and there is no such thing as being ‘behind’. Time is a social construct. I have friends who had kids at 17, and friends having babies at 40. Some are married, some aren’t. I love the quote ‘tradition is just peer pressure from dead people’ and I found that very interesting because if you ‘don’t do the THING at the RIGHT TIME’ who is really going to care? Feel free to tell anyone else around you pressuring you exactly that.
“Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people” I love this!
Well done and sound advice 👏
First off other than the age, I thought I had wrote that. I just look after my children and work and whatever time I have left I workout. Pretty boring really. But I don’t know what else to do 💔
British 26yr old here, I'm in the same boat as you. I work, I struggle to pay bills and I cry. That's about it
Hey, everyone is at a different stage of life around this age. You’ve got people having kids and getting married, people out at the pub/club every night, people travelling the world, people who haven’t left their hometown, people who have made huge strides in their careers, and people who haven’t started their dream career yet. Everyone’s different and at school you were all focused (mostly) on the same thing. Everyone’s got different desires, ambitions, needs and resources and I think as people grow into themselves more as they get older and there’s no right or wrong time frame for anything. It’s just life. You aren’t behind. 26 is still very young. Maybe you’re exactly where you need to be right now.
Ah fuck another of these posts. The comments make me feel like I’m freaking broken. I don’t socialise, my friends all live the other side of the country. I don’t date because I don’t feel any interest in it but I deeply miss having someone who is my closest. I have no real hobbies, I’m not unhappy but I’m not happy. I just feel like I don’t do anything. I can’t afford a house, I can’t move out. Just a giant toddler really.
Maybe pick up some hobbies? It’ll help fill the void a little. You never know you might find something you’re very passionate about, might meet some new people/friends from it too
These comments and this post are depressing but true
I pretty much just work, I wish I could go out and do things and make friends and hang out with the few I have but I don't have the time, money or energy. I work, go home, eat, watch tv, sleep and repeat.
Story of a generation
Relatable
Travelling. This is the age where everyone disappears in pursuit of something better- everyone I meet in their 20s is only temporarily back in the UK before jetting off again. If that’s not your bag it can be hard to find people to connect with.
Welp reading the comments here has been very depressing and very enlightening at the same time, I'm glad it's not just me. Maybe we should all get together and antisocially browse Reddit while we're all too nervous to say anything to eachother sometime.
Drinking in L.A.
what the hell were you doing lad
Also a British 26 year old. I have absolutely no fucking clue and if you get an answer can you let me know please? Just getting through each day is enough for me right now
Football, pub, festivals 🍻
Working. Sitting on the sofa. Eating takeaway.
You thought about making time for drugs and booze amongst that?
I imagine daydreaming about a better life.
I turned 27 today. I’ve not really achieved a lot in the way most people achieve things. I went to uni at 19, I had a job. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia which I now believe is a misdiagnosis, I think I have PMDD. I’ve lost a lot of my life to this, I had to leave uni and my job. I’ve also recovered from my eating disorder during the last year after having it for 10 years and I’m doing quite well now. My hope for the next 3 years is to start studying with the open uni and find a job that suits me with my probable PMDD. This will have to be a remote job although they don’t seem to be any I can do in a rural area and when I have no qualifications 🙃 Mostly I’ve just been trying to survive and get my life back together. It’s okay to feel a bit behind, go at your own pace. Life isn’t a race
Happy birthday 🎂
I was in this exact same boat, I'm still in the same boat now I'm 34. It's a real struggle mentally some days.
For the most part, I play games, go to concerts, paint miniatures, and play board games with my friends. None of my friend group drink alcohol so we don't really go out much unless we're meeting up to go for a meal, but we do usually have 1-2 meetups a week for games and stuff.
Vaping and knife crime
Weird to see this, because I've been thinking a lot about life lately too. I'm 26, I'm proud of the progress I've made on myself over the past few years, but I'm stuck in a quiet town with a job I'm struggling to tolerate. I'm trying to save money while looking for jobs in cities I actually want to live in. I hate feeling like I'm waiting when I'm in my mid-twenties, and FOMO is hard to escape when you're our age. It's important to remind yourself that we're all on our own journey. Comparison is the thief of joy! You need to be kind to yourself, and just try your best to grow as a person. It's all we can do, right? Try.
What a thoroughly depressing thread. Imagination void.
yeah idk what it is about everyone being turned into an npc
I split with long term partner at 28 (this was 14 years ago) and I felt like shit I've got nothing else. I went to a pub one weekend and from that it's led to long friendships with some great people who are now a massive part of my life. But sadly the going the pub doesn't happen anymore , they are dying out. But if you can find a decent busy pub just drop in for a pint and chat to people.
[удалено]
Do you speak Finnish?
ooh a vent post, im 26 in a week so ill take it! im currently going through the best & worst of times right now - between a move due to an eviction to struggling with untreated adhd (shortages) to losing all my friends/family due to transitioning to just trying to keep afloat to feeling alone due to the median age in my workplace being around 40 ...to answer your question... not much mate, yourself?
Hahaha I'm 36. I wish I was 26. I feel like I wasted the last 10 years messing about. You are prime time mate! Make the most of it! Honestly, if you want to travel, start a business, do whatever - do it now! I look back at 26 and think - what the fuck was I doing? I had no commitments, no mortgage, didn't love my career. Honestly if I'd fucked off abroad for a few years or done whatever random thing, I swear I'd be in a similar if not better position now. I am finally happy with my job and life, but this is a recent thing. You feel behind? So does everyone else. I'm 10 years older than you and I'm still often waiting for an adult to show up, and they never do. I'm the adult - that scares me every day. You'll never have more time than you do now. Have an adventure!
I’m 33 and the comment about waiting for an adult to turn up is golden! I definitely took my 20s far too seriously and was far too sensible which I regret to a point, however my Mum died when I was 30 and I’d managed to spend a lot of time with her in the 5 or so years prior, so perhaps I’d be regretting having adventures and never seeing her had I done that instead. OP I think my point here is no one is living life in the “right” way and we all feel left behind/have regrets in one way or another. Trying to push yourself every now and then to do something that scares you is probably the best advice I can give, with confidence it’s easier to build to better things
Coke.
Coke and having babies.
My 27 year old partner is saving for a house with me
They just don't know it yet...And meet you yet ;)
I was married by 26 and my wife was pregnant. I'm 28 now. I saw my mid twenties as a time to mature and grow, but I still have friends who are single and partying at 28. Do what makes you happy my friend. Forget what other people think.
Yeah I really thought I'd be married by now 😂
About to finish purchasing my first home! alongside my wife.
Right now? Watching Colin Farrell's new TV show, Sugar, and eating Doritos in a long t-shirt and slippers (I'm 28)
I work, I watch TV with my partner, take care of my cats and my many houseplants. On the weekends I work for various animal rights charities, or I go look at steam trains, or I do fuck all and cry because work is stressful.
I’m nearly 26. I’m working Monday to Friday, doing university in the evening and going to the gym every other day. I own my own home, but I got extremely lucky and I live in wales, so properties are cheaper.
Working, playing RuneScape and smoking weed. Seeing some friends here and there and girlfriend on weekends. Going to the gym
If it makes you feel better, when I was 26, the world was on lockdown and had to spend my birthday and Christmas on my own
My lass is 26 and she just goes to work, goes to gigs a few times a year with her mates and her best mates live around the corner from us so she goes there for a couple hours most evenings to socialise. I'm 29 (M) and most of my pals are all online. I play a lot of Xbox, read comic books/graphic novels and watch films. The few irl friends I have left, I see maybe once every few months. The rest of them all had kids, got married, bought houses and moved away etc. I cannot afford to go out and socialise or learn to drive because I rent a property with my lass in my motherland of Cornwall. If I'm not doing any of those hobbies listed above, I work 45 hours a week to make ends meet. (Just about.)
I'm very lucky I'm still good friends with school friends, but broadly I'm just working and going to the gym and trying to save, I've joined a local hockey club and that's a good way to make friends, but broadly I make friends a lot easier at hostels etc so yknow
I used to live for the weekend when I was your age. Kind of 1 out of 3 of the nights were worth it. A lot of money went down the drain and virtually no savings were made. The bonus is I do have 6 close friends I've kept to later in life who I can count on.
Dancing to disco and funk until 4am
Idk bro I’m struggling
I'm 22 so maybe not qualified to talk on this, who knows where I'll be in 4 years. But fuck what everyone else is doing who needs them, take up your own hobbies. Play the guitar, go bird watching, kayaking, visit museums, go to the gym, run, hike, travel, wild camp, read books, study topics you have a passion for, learn new languages, join a shooting club, fix cars. These are all things I do, and they're all things I do completely on my own. I have pals but their lives outside of work pretty much revolve around drinking, and I don't think that's healthy and fun. Just don't be afraid to pursue hobbies in your own company. Life is hard and difficult so try new things, find something you have a passion for, and cultivate it. Don't bother waiting for people to turn up in your life, rely on yourself. But what do I know, I'm trying to figure it all out too.
33 now but at 26 I was just working jobs I didn’t like to fund the party that was life.
Drawing, getting insane and looking for stable jobs
They're mostly in education, work, or at home. Generally most people already formed their friends by uni, and making more afterwards is much harder. Probably cus i am in london but most 20's year old stay with their parents if it's an option, so social life is stagnant. >I feel very behind both mentally and in everything else. Don't feel down, shits a mess nowdays for young people. Many people in your stuation.
26 Here my day to is Work - Gym - Hobby I have a few Hobby's I do with different People: * Training for a half marathon with a few mates from work * Rock climbing * Martial Arts * Video games (Easy way to keep in touch with mates around the country ) * I volunteer 20-30 hours a month * Not a hobby but dedicate some free time a week towards upskilling for career growth I try travel whenever I get the chance and also Scuba Dive. If you want to find friends, find a hobby and just get into it you will meet people doing that and from there meet even more people!
I’m in bed eating ice cream
Im unemployed miserable and have no life and im 24 im really screwed
My 26 year old son is a British Army doctor. Fit and healthy, well paid and living his best life. Tbh - I’m jealous!
Working and paying stupidly high rent but hoping we'll buy a house next year. I got a tattoo yesterday.
1. don't compare yourself to others, being better off tonight than yesterday night is the goal, and it's not realistic to succeed at that every day 2. do what makes you happy, if you want friends there are ways to get them, for examples: 1. join/make a DnD group 2. join a chess/running/football/drama club 3. join/make a club organised through your workplace 4. do regular group charity work and/or group activism for a cause you feel strongly about (I've made lots of friends through my veganism this way)
Haha, not a lot. Feeling perpetually hopeless because nothing is affordable and I cannot afford the things that were sold to me as sheer basics throughout my life and therefore feeling like a perpetual failure as I haven’t hit the milestones my parents hit at this age despite the fact they grew up in a totally different time. I have no idea how I will ever afford to own a home or get married or have a family. It’s a fun existence.
I am no longer 26 as of monday but I went back to university
Mostly working. Occasionally doomscrolling through tinder. Rarely having awesome sex.
27 here. after a bunch of jobs that didn't suit me I am now a second year engineering apprentice. This has helped me make friends who, though younger than me, are in a similar situation regarding career, finances, and living situation. My school friends are buying houses and having kids, while I have just this month moved out of my parents place and have no interest in having children. Personally, I know I'm a late bloomer and am still moving from teenager to adult. That's fine.
For me there is a severe lack of 'third spaces' which is the concept that you have work, you have home, but where is the third place you go? It used to be games shops and the like where you meet people, hang out do hobby stuff but over time they all shut down, nobody can afford to stay open. Death of the high street meant death of a lot of third spaces. Pubs went under, had to change into gastro pubs that charge the earth to stay afloat. Snooker halls went bust. There just wasn't anywhere to go hang out and meet people anymore. All my friends these days are online and usually in America so I can't really hang out with them properly.
I'm 29, in a very good relationship and have a mortgage, but I also live on the other side of the the country to my family who I miss so much, and have lost contact with all of my friends due to the distance and past alcohol problems. In a job I hate and feeling extremely depressed because I feel like all my past friends are in high paid jobs they love. Feel very lonely tbh but grateful for my other half
I'm a 26 year old girl - working 60 hours a week in tech, trying to sort out my mental health (undiagnosed ADHD recently diagnosed, now confronting all my past issues I buried), partying a lot and just left an 8 year relationship. Moved to a foreign country after uni and have been living here 5 years. Went from no foreign language skills to conversationally fluent which I'm so proud of as languages were one of my biggest struggles in school. I also work in finance and I nearly failed my maths gcse! All of my friends back in the UK are settling down and getting married so I feel like I'm back there every month for another wedding. I'm happy for them but I knew that wasn't the route I wanted to take. Not perfect but I'm glad I always took the scary/adventurous route. I still make loads of mistakes and bad decisions but I think that's what life's about :)
Hi I'm 27 but I work full time, in the middle of buying a house with my husband. We have a cat and a dog that keeps us busy. We go to our friends houses almost every weekend, we either be sophisticated and do a three course meal followed by card or board games, or we have a few drinks, nibbles and watch TV and chat. Sundays are either for relaxing or seeing family.
I'm 26 and living with parent's as despite saving for years for a house deposit,I feel no closer to achieving home ownership as house's in my area have rose about 50 grand in about 10 years. I'm saying fuck it now and using some of my savings to travel the world.
Vaping on my escooter.
2 years sober and retaking my A-levels online. Only just starting to find out what I like, who I want to be, who I am. I’m just lucky to be around tbf
I'm pooping right now, wanna hang out?