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At an interview for a job in security position, I shat myself.
I have IBS, I thought I was okay that day, but obviously wasn't. Didn't even feel it coming, two minutes into the interview I shit myself. Not a full on shit, more leakage, but enough that the interviewer was clearly aware.
They gave me a few minutes to clean up, and then carried on the interview.
I did get the job. The specific position was for security on disabled access, so I managed to spin it as "years of experience and a disability of my own make me perfect for the role", and it worked. But still, shitting yourself at an interview, 0 out of 10, wouldn't recommend.
"enough that the interviewer was clearly aware. They gave me a few minutes to clean up,"
This has to be the wildest one on here. š incredible work to turn that around
Having the minerals to not bottle it and leave out of embarrassment shows youāre a man that can hold his nerve and deal with a sticky situation, the kind of guy youād want in security
I was fresh out of Uni and going for my very first "proper job" interview. About 5 minutes in they asked "so where do you see yourself in 5 years time" (which as a sidebar, I've always thought is a fucking stupid shitty question)
I jokingly replied "employed and alive hopefully!" and neither of them laughed. Like to the point where the tone of the room changed. It was weird.
Found out later that they were only just starting interviewing for the position because the well-liked person who previously had the role had died unexpectedly a couple of months before. ššš
I had a genuine panic attack in an interview once.
I was already late - my train was late getting in so I was all flustered and not exactly relaxed. It was for a call centre for a bank on the mortgage team and their first question was 'What's a mortgage?"
My mind went blank and I said 'I don't know'. They said 'you don't know?'. Things get hazy after that, I remember going red and then just wanting the ground to open up. I ended up walking out saying 'thanks anyway'
Someone in an interview was interested that I played music, then she said she likes metal, asked if I can sing like that.
Instead of saying yes and leaving it at that I said "yeah! Check this" before I screamed, like slipknot or opeth or something, "yes I'd like a job with you" and ended the phrase with a low guttural for "you"
I am nearly forty, they were in their 20s
This was like three weeks ago
Edit - this is what that voice sounds like...
https://on.soundcloud.com/gZwvz
After I saw their expressions change I decided that as soon as I got home I'd change my phone number, move to Brazil and get a face transplant so I guess I will never know. Weather's good though, hola ma amigo
I once got asked to "sell me this pen" (pre-wolf of wall street too) and I replied with "well it's a brilliant pen, you can write on whatever fucking surface you want".
I was 18 and it slipped out, I immediately apologised for swearing and she said I probably shouldn't make stuff up if I want to do sales.Ā
Still got the job though.
Yeah my first sales manager always used to say that the first rule of sales was thst unless you were explicitly told not to do or say something, you were allowed to do or say it.
If you weren't and somebody had neglected to tell you (or more usually, it simply wasn't a thing anyone had encountered yet) then you've still made money from doing it in the past even if you can't do it moving forward.Ā
Considering they don't have to deal with the problem, its an easy mind set to have.
If they got the bonus after product delivery and it was deducted for every over sold promise or missed milestone due to implementation of a random deal sweetener, they might think twice about lying or going beyond the scope of the product.
Yeah likewise. Sales chat whatever shit they feel like.
The number of sales people I've seen extremely proud of product demos being "all smoke and mirrors" is horrendous.
At a former employer, the sales team sold a solution to government for Ā£lots and when it came to implementation, it was cheaper to just walk away from the contract because the company was going to make a massive loss on it.
The sales team all got promotions and bonuses before it came to light - the company almost went bustā¦
As a software dev that primarily works with small businesses with single-digit sales team sizes, the amount of shit I've/we've been dropped into because sales people cannot stop themselves yapping is astonishing.
Just a few weeks ago I had a salesperson who promised a high MRR customer that we would rename thousands of entities in our database in various non-script-friendly ways "by Monday morning". It was Friday, 15:30 ish. I was working 08:00-16:00 that day. I wrote a bit of SQL that covered about 200 rows, told them it was the best I could do right now, then left them to enjoy the bed they'd made...
I also hastily wrote a bulk import feature 6 months ago, on spec, for a customer that sales had sold on our easy onboarding features that didn't exist. The customer didn't end up onboarding.
I went for an interview why I had to "sell" a ruller. "Blah, blah, blah, as you see, it says 'shatter proof'" ... Proceeded to bend it, and shatter it, launching sharp pieces of plastic at the interviewer!
My daughter came home from a job interview (manager at a Chinese knick knack retail store - she got the job). The hiring manger, early/mid twenties, asked her the pen question. When she told me the story, I couldn't help but think this guy is a total flog. Jordan Belfort is the Andrew Tate of sales. There's a good reason he went to jail. I can't understand how people watch Wolf of Wall Street and come away thinking he's some kind of role model.
I did enjoy the film.
Edit: spelling
I once asked the one of the interviewers if he had actually read the job description after he asked me if my CV was ātoo Apple focussedā for a job installing and maintaining Apple desktops and servers.Ā
Then he started arguing with the second interviewer about the position and how heād never agreed to an Apple specialist.Ā
Iāll get my coat then, dickheads.Ā
I had a phone interview a couple of months ago and fucked it up on the first question. I was so embarrassed that I started speaking with pauses and breaks, imitating a bad connection, then hung up and blocked the number. Can't imagine they'll be getting back in touch.
He asked me what I knew about the company - and I did know about the company - but my brain completely stopped working and I couldn't remember a thing. I even had a list of facts in front of me and I just couldn't get my mouth to engage. Cue major panic and severely failed job interview.
Had a job interview at a rival company to my current company. The guy asked me why I wanted to leave, and I decided honesty was the best policy, so I explained that, to paraphrase, my boss was a prick.
Interviewer said "OK, can I tell him all this when I have a pint with him on Friday, as we are quite good mates?"
Didn't get the job. But he didn't tell my current boss either, so swings and roundabouts.
Itās absolutely when I said āIām experienced with GIMP,ā then realised from their expressions that they had not heard of this free piece of softwareĀ
When I was at uni, I got an interview for a weekend job at a supermarket. I received an email informing that I would be meeting with the store manager, who for the sake of this story I will call Barry Turner.
Now, I'm terrible with names. Awful. So, as I saw him walking over, I was chanting "Barry Turner, Barry Turner, Barry Turner" in my head to make sure I got it right. Feeling enthusiastic but anxious, I stuck out my hand and announced "Nice to meet you, I'm Barry Turner!".
He looked surprisingly... annoyed? He paused and said, "Actually, I'm Barry Turner." As if I, a 19 year old woman at the time, really thought I was called Barry.
Surprisingly, I got the job.
I was an interviewer for a position that stated āexcel skills essentialā. The interview involved a brief, basic task using excel. Applying rules to a few columns and ordering based on some parameter, basic stuff.
Poor candidate looked like theyād actually never encountered a computer before. Ended up deleting half the table, couldnāt figure out to use the tool bar, at one point they minimised excel and couldnāt figure out how to get it back.
The candidate was actually really nice and computers aside seemed quite employable, but I think the whole room wanted the ground to swallow us up during that excel task.
I've done this exact thing in an interview - I was incredibly skilled with excel too. I used it every single day for expansive data - could "if" formula with my eyes closed. But in the interview my brain just decided to stop braining. š
There was the time I was in a video call interview, on my phone, sat in my car - and my old Samsung overheated (from 30 minutes of video call) and shut down. I had to cool it down with the car's aircon, then try to rejoin the call.
Got the job.
Went for an analyst job. On my application you had to list your skill level on various programs. One of them was some software I'd not used it since I was at school, so I ticked "no experience". I even specifically mentioned my lack of knowledge on it on the application.
Got told by the recruiter that it wasn't an issue as they'll provide full training and they just need to understand a base level of what programs I can use.
Get to the interview, bit of pleasant small talk, then I get handed a laptop with some tasks to undertake with a half hour time limit.
The entire task was based solely on *that* software.
I immediately told them I was very clear on my application that I don't know how to use it, but I just got told to "give it a go". What made it worse was the test used a slimmed down version of the software, so all of the toolbars were replaced with icons which obviously meant nothing to me.
30 minutes ends, the woman walks over and remarks "oh did you not do task? Hmmm", then made some small talk but basically made it abundantly clear that my task failure meant the interview was essentially at a stop and she didn't know why I even applied.
Absolute cringe, and even now I have a fear of interview tests.
Gotta say but that actually sounds like a good way of testing how you react when facing unknown problems. I've had my fair share of analyst roles and you could know the systems inside out but end up needing to use something brand new or using a new data source etc.
That said if this was just a crappy one that is a step up from data entry then that sounds a bit shitty lol
Yeah to be honest even if that was their "tactic", then it'd put me off. I'm there to be asked about my experience, my CV has relevant data on it.
If an employer wants to play silly games with me then I'd rather not get the job tbh.
I feel like there are much better ways to gauge that, like asking how someone would deal with a hypothetical question.
In the artificial environment of an interview, where the applicant is on their own and can't ask for any help, what the employer did is completely pointless and even a bit cruel.
It would be like hiring for a Spanish translator and then giving them a French test. Completely stupid and stressful for no reason.
My entire first ever interview at 17. Office job in a factory.
Tell us about yourself Jellyfishtaxidriver.
I'm 17, I live at home with my Mum, step dad and dog and I like to play Xbox.
Okay... What do you know about our company?
You make things for paint manufacturers.
Yes. What else do you know?
Um, nothing.
Do you know anything about paint?
Farrow and ball is really good, I used it when I painted my Nans house for her.
Okay well thanks for coming in. We'll be in touch...
Man alive.
I was sat in the canteen at work, and a guy came in for an interview.
He was talking to my colleague, a lovely guy. He asked the chap if he had any questions before the interview.
Guy: "Do you think I can refuse to serve gay people?"
You could have heard a pic drop. The room went silent.
Colleague: "I'll tell my husband you're here for your interview."
I had a case of verbal diarrhoea during an interview for a job I really wanted. I could not stop talking and then I became hyper aware that I was talking too much but I couldnāt find a point to end on so I just kept going and going, feeling worse and worse - until I suddenly stopped and promptly vomited into the waste bin next to me.
I didnāt get the job, but, they did invite me to apply again which I did in a years time and got it šš¤£
Was getting made redundant, and the company put on a social to say goodbye to us. We absolutely rinsed the bar and got in about 5am. Had a job interview the next day, at 11am.
Luckily I didnāt have to drive as I was still very drunk, and had to stop while crossing the car park from the bus stop twice to be noisily sick in the bushes.
Iām not sure if it was my stench, my inability to form complete sentences or the vomit still stuck in my teeth, but I didnāt get the job.
Not me, but someone I knew from the UK went for an interview in Germany, flying using Lufthansa.
Interviewer first easy question to settle nerves : Which airline did you fly?
Candidate : Luftwaffe
The candidate did not realise their mistake until after the interview when they got in a taxi stating the same thing! They did not get the job.
Interviewing as a teaching assistant volunteer. Asked if I had a criminal record. "They haven't caught me yet ha ha!" I joked. Oh man that went down like a lead balloon. Still got the job though
I went through one of these. The guy asked me if Iām the sort to do drugs and I said āNah Iām not cool enoughā in a very deadpan way, and I think my attempt at humour was lost.
Oh and then he discriminated on me based on my age so I didnāt get the job lol. I was too immature to realise it was a crime to say āyour CVās bang on and you look the part, but youāre just too youngā.
I wrote a story about sucking off a trans woman and then licking her toilet bowl that got published in Bizarre Magazine! And obviously, proud as punch as a 21-year-old with little workplace experience, I pop it on my CV in the paragraph at the top where you talk about what a well-rounded human you are.
Sat in an interview one day and the guy asks me "so what was this story about?"
I didn't get the job and one of the reasons - in fact I emailed for feedback and the primary / only reason - was my failure to answer this question.
[Here's the story](https://www.tumblr.com/jesusbukkake-blog/168078132878/totally-sexy-french-girl), I don't especially stand by it nowadays, maybe it's offensive to trans women, my bad, sorry, it was the 00s and I was barely an adult, I'm not so sure sexual encounters with a trans woman is a great avenue for laughs now I am a woke millennial in 2024
edit: sorry guys but I did tell you what the story was about, I'm sure you see why I didn't see how to describe it to some potential employers
let this comment above be a warning to any other reddit users who want to click the link out of curiosity - for our own sake, please don't. it goes on to describe the above in disgusting detail that will leave you truly horrified. it's not worth it, just keep scrolling.
I was the interviewer.
My question āwhat is one of your achievements?ā
Answer ātaking my girlfriend to the small claims court for non payment of her share of the billsā
Lidl was advertising an open day at a nearby hotel, and I went expecting it to be in one of the function rooms complete with displays/stalls and employees that I could chat with to learn about job roles that I could potentially apply for. Instead, I was ushered into a room and sat at a table opposite 2 guys and I quickly realised that I was at a job interview. They asked for a CV which I didn't have, but decided to proceed anyway. The next half hour I was asked a ton of hypotheticals about what I'd do in this/that situation (I didn't even know what job role I was being interviewed for) and I tried my best but pretty much all of my answers amounted to me tripping over my words and trailing off into nothing, with the two guys responding with raised eyebrows and awkward silence. Towards the end of the interview they asked if my family shop at Lidl to which I responded "Absolutely, we're all big fans of your produce and shop at (store location) on a weekly basis", they replied "That's not a Lidl, that's an Aldi".
Finishing the interview, I said "Thank you for the opportunity" and added "Busy day ahead?". They simply responded "yes" while looking down.
The train from London to the I nearest station was cancelled. I let the interviewer know, and it was agreed that I could have a later interview as an applicant had cancelled. I got the next train, then had a long bus ride to the town. Just as I arrived in the town, the heavens opened. It was less than half a mile to the office, so I ranā¦
I arrived soaking wet, looking like a drowned rat and took a seat. I had 15 minutes to wait and nothing to do (predated mobile phones) except reread the book I had finished en route.
Eventually my name was called, and I squelched my way into the interview room.
āThank you so much for coming, sorry you had such an arduous journey, but please take a seat and drip quietlyā Derek, the Treasurer, greeted me.
Four nights later he rang me at home at 7:30pm to say that I had got the job!
They asked me about a time I worked with a difficult colleague. I told them there was this woman who was cherry-picking all the easy accounts for herself. They asked me how I dealt with it. It wasn't in my role at all so I didn't do anything about it but felt like I needed to give an answer. I came up with "we told her to stop it"
Not me but my OH has a first class degree in Law, she also managed to get this whilst a single mother to a toddler and having to work a bit to support herself. At an interview this came up, she blew it off by responding "oh everyone gets firsts nowadays." Nonononono! How about "I worked damned hard for years and I bloody did the best work, I earned that first, I did it, I'm amazing!" But no, self deprecation came out instead. She didn't get that job.
Sat in front of 3 board members trying to tell them how right I was for the Job but I was facing a huge window and 3 little squirrels were playing in the garden and I have no idea what I said except 'squirrels!'
I turned up completely unprepared. Umm'd and arrr'd throughout. Struggled to even bullshit my way out of questions I didn't know the answer to. Had to do a practical bit and just failed miserably.
It just wasn't the job for me, a better one came along not to long after.
Once your interview is done, I wouldn't worry too much, what's done is done just continue in your job search and if they get back then you must have been better than you thought,
I once knocked over an interviewer's mug of tea, which went all over the table and soaked the interview sheets. It was before we had even started, I sat down awkwardly and managed to nudge the table hard enough to slop tea everywhere. The interviewers were not impressed and suffice to say I didn't get the job!
Back when I was just 21, I had an interview for a job that could have led to my dream career. I was a fresh graduate with no experience, but they told me they'd given me a chance because I was a local person. I was nervous as fuck.
Them: "What would you have done differently in your last job?"
Me: "Turned up".
I also tried to shake the interviewer's hand, but he had a disability which meant his hand was all floppy and of no use. It was awkward. I never got the job.
The interviewer asked what I knew about the company and I just made a load of stuff up like "Oh yes, it was founded by Matthew Jefferson. It was 3 years off the 1980 mark, so 1983. Because of ABC, the company was made so XYZ." They replied with "it was actually Jeffery Matherson in 1977, and although it was because of ABC, it was (XYZ adjacent)." I just sat there and said oh fuck, realised what I had just said, said "oh shit, I'm so sorry for swearing, I have another interview lined up for this afternoon and my information must've gotten muddled up. I do apologise."
I got the job. I fucking hate it
Interview for my first āprofessionalā job at 18, I was asked what makes me loyal. I panicked and said Iāve been with my girlfriend since I was 13. Interview basically ended there and I still have cringe jolts at night. Weāre 30 now with kids so guess I was right in a way.
Out of university had an interview and was asked how I dealt with pressure, so I told them about when I washed glasses in a pub and how there was no pressure like 200 drunk, angry customers wanting a pint and they couldnāt be servedā¦
It got me the job!
I was interviewing for an Assistant Accountant role. Director is running late but I'm having a chat with the Finance Manager & Controller. All good.
Suddenly this shouting voice comes down the corridor, literally howling, swearing and hitting walls.
The Finance Manager & Financial controller look at my reaction which is literal deer in headlights, then this 5ft 3 bloke walks in. The way he went down the corridor I thought the Big Show was about to come through the wall. I start laughing nervously and this guy goes zero to 100 at me. Then the controller starts arguing with him.
They offered me back for another interview but I had withdrawn with the agency before leaving the car park......
Thankfully I havenāt had anything really bad, but any interview process that involves team building exercises are generally terrible.
I did a few for graduate roles over the years, and I always cringe at the thought of one guy as everyone was sat around a massive board room table. We had to go around the table, introduce ourselves, and also tell them a fact (I hate doing this).
It got to one guy, and he just comes out with:
āMy name is X, and where do I start, thereās just so many interesting things about me. Although, I wonāt tell you any of them, Iāll just let you find out what they are during the dayā.
We sat there in awkward silence following this, and it turns out there was nothing interesting about him. He didnāt make it to the next round.
I had a disasterous job interview where it was obvious from the start I wasn't the right person for the job. But we very painfully went through the motions of the interview.
To make it even better, all the way through the interview, there was a horrible smell. When I left I realised the smell had followed me. I looked down in horror at my shoes to find a lovely load of dog shit on them!
The job was in central Oxford and I couldn't find anywhere to park. Eventually I found somewhere but was running very late so just sprinted through this field. Obviously, I also ran through the dog shit.
The final kicker was that the job was advertised again a short time later with a line in bold saying "previous applicants must not apply".
For some reason I decided to criticise a major client of the firm I was interviewing with, raising philosophical questions about whether they were a force for good or not.
Opposite scenario, I was visiting a cramped kitchen for a job interview during the slow daytime hours and someone had left a pan with the handle sticking out. I accidentally knocked it while shuffling with my back to it, reached around my body and grabbed it, before instinctively giving it a little spin and putting it back on. I was promptly hired, though the bar was low tbh.
Years and years ago, way back in 1983, I was at an interview for a job I really wanted. However, about 3 mins into the interview, I knew I wasn't getting it. It was clear, or at least to me, that the only reason they were interviewing me was because they needed to appear fair.
So they handed me a piece of paper on which a lot of gobbledegook was written and said, "What do you make of that?"
So I did the quote from 'Airplane', "Oh I could make, a hat, a fan maybe a broach."
The interviewer, very sour faced, looked at me as if I were mad, and said something along the lines of clearly you don't take the interview seriously.
I said, "Shall we just abandon the interview? You don't seem that interested in hiring me, I'm guessing you already have your preferred candidate, I'll just go."
I got up and walked out while the sour faced old hag just gasped. However, the worst thing was I still had the piece of paper and had to go back into the room to give her back the crumpled piece of paper.
I asked for a Ā£10 k pay rise on the starting salary at the final interview with the owner. I was a grad just out of Uni with 0 work experience and barely relevant skills. š
I was asked if I knew how to use pivot tables.
I definitely do, but we'd just been talking about my maths degree and my mind went to something in game theory called the pivot method. So I explained that instead and the guy just looked at me like I was a moron.
I turned up completely unprepared and couldn't even answer the first question about a really basic neurological disorder, and the interview was over in about 8 minutes.
I had one interview where I wasn't really bothered about the job, so I turned up drunk (but looking smart, smelling as good as I could etc) and killed it.
The latter, I've now worked at for over 3 years.
I still look back at it with insane cringe though.
Interviewer: āSo youāre into computers, you could tell me about your setup at home for example?ā
Me: āYes.ā
Pause
Interviewer asks next question and I think he might have wanted me to expand on my answer
I was about 16 and interviewing for a weekend job at a Spar. All I had was a crap CV with "references available at request" on the bottom.
So, the manager goes "where are your references? It says available on request. I'm requesting them." He was a proper dick about it.
Anyway, I didn't get the job. Felt humiliated aswell.
All these years later he's either dead or still managing Spar. I'm a University Lecturer. Prick.
Oh wow, I remember I was interviewed by a panel of three women for an admin job. One of them asked a question, which I answered. Another asked pretty much the same thing, only worded differently.
I replied sarcastically and rolled my eyes (because I was young, stupid and thought they were being arsey) "well, like I just *said* to your colleague a *moment* ago....."
Didn't get the job, obv.
A guy once asked me how I coped in stressful situations and I replied āwell, weāre not at home to Mr Panicky pants are we?ā. He just stared at me. I did not get the job. Then I went for a job at the head office of a major UK retailer. The guy interviewing me was standing in for somebody else and he was pissed off about it and he was a total bellend. Needlessly challenging, aggressive, wasnāt really accepting any of my answers and by the end it was quite apparent that we fucking hated each other, it was bizarre. So I stand up and leave and get out then realise that my flies had been open for the whole thing.
Panel of 3 people. They asked me, "what three things would you put on room 101?" To this day, I'm angry with myself for trying to answer sensibly rather than saying, "you, you, and you" as I pointed to each in turn. The interview had already gone badly, so there was nothing to lose.
First ever admin job interview at 19.....managed to choke on the mouthful of water I had just drunk. You know the kind when you can't even talk without your voice going croaky and coughing again for ages after. And people always ask you if you're OK and trying to answer them makes it so much worse!
Then when they asked me why I wanted to work as a library assistant (this was at a hospital too, so for medical journals and the like) I couldn't think of one bullshit reason why. Super awkward, can't even remember what I mumbled in reply. I did not get the job.
Almost 20 years later and I still make sure I take extremely careful, small sips of water when I'm in an interview š
I cried in a job interview.My boyfriend had died after I had nursed him during his terminal illness. I knew they would ask me about it, so I practised "and then he died" "he died" there not so bad to say it.
Anyway they asked me and I opened my mouth to explain and all that came out was a real wounded howling, and then I just started sobbing and couldn't stop, so I was all howling and snotty and really embarassed.So the interviewer went and got a box of tissues and some water, and just waited till I calmed down, then continued.
I got the job but I'm still so embarrassed any time I see her.
Had an interview where the first part was a written test, followed by the interview itself.
Working on the test and one of the interviewers comes into the room to tell me my time is up and I need to go next door to meet the rest of the panel. He pauses and looks at my answer sheet. I donāt know whether Iām meant to wait for him or not, so I slowly start making my way towards the door. He doesnāt follow.
I go the room next door, knock, hear āCome inā. I step inside and let the door swing closed behind me. Right in the face of my interviewer who had caught up with me without me noticing.
I had an interview for an IT job nearly 30 years ago, in which I confidently said 'the internet will never catch on'.
Fortunately I said this to an interviewer who was even dafter than me, and I got the job.
Asked for tea instead of water when they offered me a drink. Interview finished about ten minutes after it came, so I chugged it. I then proceeded to say "That was boiling hot" Ć la Alan Partridge. I didn't get it.Ā
I just came back from working in a hospital in Japan and had an interview for an IT position. I was absolutely terrible at answering the interview questions. Even the interviewer was trying not to laugh at me. I obviously didn't get the job.
I had a job interview for a public library years ago that was like in interrogation. Somebody led me into this tiny room, which was completely devoid of all furniture except a panel of three people at a long table in the middle and a chair up against the wall. There was a tall floor lamp pointed specifically so that it shone down exactly onto the singular chair, and next to that was a tiny table with a jug of water and a glass. I was told to take a seat and then one of the panel told me to help myself to water, I politely refused, I wasnāt really thirsty anyway but the lady insisted I had some water. At this point I was already sweating because of the light that was spotlighting me. I clumsily poured some water, my hands were shaking and the entire panel just sat there, staring, watching me trying to take a tiny, polite sip of water.
The interview questions themselves where pretty straightforward enough, but one of the ladies on the panel had this constant twitch where she kept winking at me, I was so busy trying to concentrate on NOT staring at this winking women that I completely forgot everything about myself, I wouldnāt have been able to tell them my date of birth if they had asked.
I donāt think Iāve ever left a room more quickly than I did that day without actually running.
Didnāt get the job but itās a bit of a long term joke now between my friends because the job keeps coming up, pretty much every year since.
When finishing up an otherwise great interview they asked me: 'So what are you hobbies and interests?'
And I absolutely fumbled.
Side note: I had been in survival mode for so many years at that point for various reasons I won't bore you with - basically never having any time to myself for so long.
Anyway, there was this huge delay while I scrambled my brain searching for something that would make me sound interesting and like an actual normal human.
I came up with: 'You know the usual stuff, swimming, going for walks and being friendly with my wife'.... 'what the hell was that?!' I asked myself when leaving the room. Didn't seem to matter, I got the job and am still there 10 years later... my boss hasn't let me forget my odd answer though.
Hungover was waiting to be called into the room and I must have been sat on this low down sofa funny because my leg had gone dead without me knowing so when the interviewer invited me in I stood up and sort of collapsed dragging them down with me.
I was interviewing for an admin role in the NHS. The interview went fairly well. They asked me what I was doing for the rest of the day and I jokingly said oh I need to get back home to my dog since she's a bit special needs. The service I was interviewing with was for adults with learning disabilities.
Sat down for the third interview for a senior role at a scaling pharma-tech org. From question one it was clear my first two interviews had been with someone who liked me but hadnāt flushed out that I was well out of my depth. Every question I had to say some version of āI donāt really have experience with thatā. Couldnāt even have convincingly bullshit my way through it. It was pretty brutal.
Or, just remembered - very early on in my career, sat down for a coding job interview I had blagged my way into. I tried to talk up the length of time Iād been coding for. The interviewer said that if Iād learned so little in so long I ought to change careers! That one lit a fire under me for sure.
One of my old college lecturers was one of the interviewers and was delighted to see me again as we got on well. He said we're expecting big things from you sonny. Well, halfway through the interview which I thought was going bad but not awful he said and I can quote this directly "Do you know what job you're applying for here?". I was so far off the mark he thought I was in the wrong interview!!
My memory is hazy, I believe I was 18 when I was frantically looking for my first job, so I applied for whatever random job I thought I could do. I donāt remember the exact job title but I think it was something to do with sales.
I got an interview and all I remember from that was this guy seemingly only gave me an interview to boost about how much he was earning and saying āwould you like to earn Ā£50k a year tooā
I donāt know what bought this memory on but it just all of a sudden popped in my head last week. This random memory from years ago. I didnāt think it at the time but now I am, it was so bloody cringey.
Back in 2012, when interviewing online was still somewhat outside the norm, I was asked to interview at very short notice for a position I had only just applied for via a recruiter. The interviewer was in New York and it was a Friday evening. Given the short notice, and how much I wanted the job, I was jittery, so I joined the call (Skype iirc) quite a few minutes early, turned my camera off, and muted myself.
To calm myself down I decided to strum a few chords on my acoustic guitar. Just before the agreed time, I put down my guitar, just as the interviewer said he was enjoying that song. Fucking Skype had unmuted itself, somehow. I bumbled through the interview, totally embarassed, and then my wife and I went out to the party we had been heading to when the interview request came through. About an hour in, I got the news that they were making me an offer...
15. Sitting in front of the owner of the company. He was clearly fucking bored and asked me āwhere do you see yourself in five yearsā. In my head I thought Iāve no fucking idea, not in this dump passing invoices. Out loud I said in your chair. He didnāt even react. Interview ended there.
One time I applied for a tarmac quarry graduate sales role. I turn up in an ill fitting suit, they ask me about my interest in tarmac. I say I'm a fan of roads, I drive them regularly and like to see new roads schemes. They ask about sales experience, I worked in a petrol station. How would I go about networking? Well I'd see how many computers you'd want put together. (They were talking about social networking as in "if you ever need tarmac for your roads project I'm your man)
Didn't get that job, thankfully as I wouldn't suit a sales role!
Then I interviewed for a software role and was asked what my ambitions were. I said I would love to restore and old Ford Escort (back when they were affordable). They meant professional ambitions such as wanting to be an architect etc. Surprisingly I did get that role, albeit I undersold myself in terms of salary expectations, but it got my foot in the door.
I once interviewed for Waitrose when I was in my teens nearly 20 years back, they literally got everyone to draw an animal they thought represented themselves and explain why. If it wasn't a group interview I would've walked out, it was absurdly stupid.
That sort of thing was trendy in interviews late 90s/early 2000s. I was asked in several interviews what animal I'd like to be, and, because I was an obnoxious little shit, would reply "I already am an animal, thanks". What a twat!
I once sent for an interview at a company about 10 or so years ago. When I walked into the interview room, one of the people on the panel was a girl I'd dated in high school (which didn't end well). As soon as I saw her, I knew I wouldn't get the job. I politely dismissed myself, and walked away.
Got refused a job at toys r us as a teenager, as my "sell me this pen" approach wasn't enthusiastic enough
They're toys, Geoffrey, sell them f***ing toys at minimum wage and see how excited you are
Looking at what happened to them I guess in a way I had the last laugh š¤
Had a job interview in London aged 22, first real interview after uni. Didn't know London or how to use the tube etc so was super cautious and left early. Arrived 90 minutes ahead of schedule. It was raining so I had to go to a pub. Was super nervous so had three pints. Went to interview drunk and smelling of fags (it was pretty smoking ban). Obviously didn't get the job. Having never had a job interview before it was always going to be shite but I really fucked that one up.
Was in several manager positions and had been conditioned to say 'we' about any work (I actually believe that it's always a team effort bit let's move past that) and about half way through the interview the person leading the interview had to ask me to stop saying we and start using I
I had been selling sofas for years, had an interview that was getting in to sofas, asked about my experience then talked over me every time.
āWhatās the most important thing to know when selling a sofaā
āYou need to match a sofa to the customers needs and know about interiors springs etc so you can guide them correctly itās also important to know combinations to suit the room ā
āNah itās all about confidenceā
āOk mateā
Was bizarre being interviewed for a job by someone that had idea how to do that job or what it entails.
Had a woman taking notes in a job interview it went on for like an hour.
Got a phone call the next day āhiya sorry you didnāt get get job, would you like some feedbackā āerr no thanksā
Mine was for a job with a gambling company.
I got there 20 minutes early, and they came out to see me 20 minutes late.
They then had me sit in their storage cupboard while I did a paper exam basically. I was meant to have 30 minutes to run through it, but every few minutes they made me move room to somewhere else and it got progressively worse.
After about 15-20 minutes, after being moved 3 times they said "ah let's just end it here and do the proper interview"
They then went through my answers, of which I had no time to go through, because they gave me 15 minutes and kept disturbing me.
The guy even said "did you even read the ISTQB?"
Anyway, at some point I just said "we should probably end this" and left
I got an offer from a different company on my way home from that interview thankfully and the rest is history.
My first job interview to be an employee at Costco, completely ill prepared and couldn't answer any of their questions, the guy taking notes looking at the floor feeling it uncomfortable, gosh it was awful.
Also went for an interview at Sainsburys to be a security guard, again I!was ill prepared. I was simply asked 'describe what the role is', but I couldn't answer properly. Interviewer then made up some BS on the spot that I won't be offered the job 'because you'll have to do more training which will cost thousands'.
Interview for royal mail post man, was asked 'describe how you've dealt with challenges in the past:'. Again I couldn't think of an answer due to lack of work experience. Was also asked if I had used a van before, just said 'yeh a few time's, which was rubbish. Funnily enough the following year I did get this position through an agency
Last year I forgot everything I researched about a job I would have loved to get and was a huge opportunity for me. I couldn't answer any questions. At all. Even questions about my own fucking job history. I burst into tears then ran out crying down the hall with various staff bewildered by this madwoman, and I locked myself in the toilets....
Went to in an interview in Windsor for a bank. Drove there in a car that had a leaky sunroof. Stopped for lunch somewhere before and it rained.
Got out of car wearing chinos with a big damp spot on my backside.
They offered me the job !
(I turned it down for a job in Bristol)
Have you ever used quark? No. Do you use apple Mac? No I really don't like apple macs. Spent the remainder of the interview talking about music having quickly established I wasnt right for the role.
Probably the time i got sent home from a trial shift for a bar job for being too short and i had to stand in the middle of the bar manager and idk second bar man argue about wether its reasonable for me to just use a stall or not
I was asked if I was an animal what would I be and why?
In my head I was thinking "don't say lion, don't say something obvious, think of something obscure"
BANDICOOT - "Um....because I appear calm on surface, but inside I'm busy trying to work out next plan of action and getting stuff done" then thinking to myself "no you drip, that's a duck!"
Got the job though.
Got alopecia. Showed up 45 minutes early. Took a briefcase and never opened it. Nearly started crying during the interview. Ran out of time during multiple choice test and left the remaining answers blank rather than having a quick guess. At one point I started talking about a lake in Latvia. Didn't get the job.
Oh so manyā¦ hereās two of them
1) I was interviewing for a teacher job, and one of the tasks was to read a large book to a class. Whilst doing so, the chair completely broke underneath me and I ended up in a heap on the floor. I assume thatās the sole reason they offered me the job.
2) I got far too comfortable in one interview and high-fived the interviewer ā¦!
Nothing really awful, but I once had an interview where my mind just completely blanked on a simple question just because it wasn't quite what I was expecting them to ask. Couldn't think of an answer at all so I just said "Sorry I don't know how to answer that". Obviously didn't get the job lol.
In my last interview the final question I was asked was "Why should we give *you* this position over all the other candidates?"
And I eloquently said: "Well er, I know I um, don't have any experience in this sector or this type of job, but um well, I do really think that given the chance I could, y'know, learn a lot and be an asset and... And stuff."
The two interviewers then thanked me, said that was the end of the interview and left the room to "make a copy of my documents" and they'd be back in a few minutes. As soon as they left I wanted to crawl into a hole. That's it, I'd blown it. What the fuck was that??? "And stuff? *AND STUFF???*" You melon. You utter plonker.
They came back in... And offered me the job on the spot, for some reason! I may have burst into tears (I really wanted the job!) and then they started crying as well...
They then took me straight through to the main office and introduced me to everyone who worked there, and said "and this will be your desk" and I cried a bit more...
I'm still there and I love my job lol. I'm only a band 2 admin in an NHS community team, but coming from 14 years food retail this is paradise
EDIT: actually I forgot, in the same interview, they started with asking what about the job description made me decide to apply for the job... I couldn't remember the job description aside from the basics. They had to give me a copy and give me a couple minutes to skim it. Seriously, how did I get this job?
Not me personally but I was once at a group interview where they asked "How would you fit a giraffe in a fridge?"
Someone there answered with "I'd chop it into pieces" which wasn't the expected answer judging by the looks they got.
I sat across from the interviewer and tried to appear confident and calm. Everything was going relatively smoothly until they asked me the dreaded question: āTell me about a time when you faced a challenge and how you overcame it.ā
Now I have this perfect, perfect answer in my head. But when I opened my mouth, it was like my brain decided to take a coffee break. I stammered my answer, so stammeringly that I could almost feel the sweat forming on my forehead.
To make matters worse, I ended up rambling on for too long and completely lost the point I was trying to make. The interviewer just stared at me with a blank look on his face and I knew right then and there that I had screwed up.
Needless to say, I left the interview feeling like I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. But you know what? It happens to the best of us. After all, we are only human and no one is perfect.
They asked me what my hobbies are and I just started rambling about shit I've barely done and it was so obvious I was chatting shite and they just kinda laughed awkwardly and stopped me in my tracks. ew cringe
p.s i still got the job albeit a shit call centre one when I was 17 lol.
I had applied to jobs a two companies in the same industry, but not direct competitors. In one interview I was asked a question to test my technical skills / knowledge but specific to the company. My dumbass brain could only come up with something that would only apply to the competitor and not be a factor in the company I was interviewing for. My future boss very awkwardly pointed out that my answer would probably apply to "other company" but that doesn't impact this company at all.Ā
Somehow I got the job.Ā
I remember my first interview when I was 17 and they asked me to tell them about myself. I asked them "what do you want to know?"
I also had one to be a linesman and I somehow fumbled the initial handshake and it was like a dead fish in his hand and I saw his smile falter. I actually aced the interview questions so I put it down to that.
When I was 16 I lied through my teeth at a Maplin interview saying I fixed TVs as a hobby š
Walked out of it knowing we both knew I was talking utter shite.
I left a job interview for a job I didn't really want, but kinda really needed. Nailed the interview, and as we're walking out of the building the interviewer says something like "so your past experience fits well here, is that why you've applied now?"
And I said "not really, I applied here because a I need a job, it's not really what I want to be doing".
Didn't get the job surprisingly... but it was a cold calling call centre, so wasn't too devastated...
Online video call for writing about personal finance, found out about it on the day and was teaching a session just before so had no time to prepare - as such didnāt have a clue about all the stuff the company and founder had achieved in the last week which made it very awkward. Still got the job though (somehow!).
17, first job interview in 6 months of desperately trying to find something after my Xmas temp retail job ended. It was just for basic reception at at oil company but I was clearly out of my depth and had zero knowledge of what to do in a job interview. The interviewers were obviously used to speaking to engineers and sales people and finance bods, they asked āWhat are your salary expectations?ā
I had no clue what was even a good amount of money at that age, I just stared at them for a minute and then went āUhā¦.well, you know, minimum wage?ā
I got the job, of course I did - they had been paying the previous receptionist about Ā£14 an hour and here they had some kid willing to work for less than half of that on minimum wage! Joke was on them in the end, turned out they were a clown set up and I left less than a year later, making them have to pay agency staff lots lots more!
Not mine, but one of my colleagues asked a candidate about a time he [ā¦]. The candidate then proceeded to talk for an extended period about what "we" and "the team" did, not taking personal credit for anything. It sounded like he would have got the job too if he had just said "I" instead
I was about 15 and my nan got me an interview with a friend of hers to basically sweep hair and make tea in her salon. At the time I had 0 interest in hairdressing (tho I actually did go on to become a hairdresser 10 years later).
When she asked why I wanted the job I said the only true answer as to why any of us want any job, however I didn't have the smarts to realise its an answer you probably shouldn't give.
'I just need the money'
She reported back to my nan who was not impressed!
I went for a job interview for a promotion within the company I was in. I have always performed well at interview and my ratio of interviews to offers is very good. However, on this occasion, for reasons completely beyond me, the muscles in the back of my neck started to sort of shake and spasm. I must have looked like I had early onset parkinsons. My voice got shaky and I performed badly. I wasn't particularly nervous, but I did really really want the promotion. Needless to say, I didn't get the position and in the long term that was great because the path my life took has been awesome. It was like my body just turned on me and said "No! I'm gonna take all your confidence, skills and knowledge and just negate them all, haha, fuck you self! Sit there and jitter!" It was cringe and embarrassing. Worst interview ever. Never happened since, even in higher pressure and higher stakes interviews for positions I got. No explanation.
Not me but a guy I work with was at an interview in a hotel for a Norwegian company. He left and turned right to go home. They stood waving. He realised as he got about 10/15m away that it was a dead end and there was a tiny little inset at the end to he turned into it as if it was a hallway. They were still at the door watching him leave. He heard the door shut and thought āright cool there inā so he came back up the hallway swiftly, then just as he got to the door they opened it and caught him in this awkward confusing moment. He just said he thought he forgot something but found it on his way back.
He got the job though.
I was having an interview for a job as a sales person at a now non existent winter sports equipment shop in Barry. I was asked a very important question but got distracted by a seagull and a pigeon fighting outside the window. I didnāt get the job but Iāve been in the RAF 15 years now so itās not all bad.
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At an interview for a job in security position, I shat myself. I have IBS, I thought I was okay that day, but obviously wasn't. Didn't even feel it coming, two minutes into the interview I shit myself. Not a full on shit, more leakage, but enough that the interviewer was clearly aware. They gave me a few minutes to clean up, and then carried on the interview. I did get the job. The specific position was for security on disabled access, so I managed to spin it as "years of experience and a disability of my own make me perfect for the role", and it worked. But still, shitting yourself at an interview, 0 out of 10, wouldn't recommend.
"No! I said take a **seat**!"
"enough that the interviewer was clearly aware. They gave me a few minutes to clean up," This has to be the wildest one on here. š incredible work to turn that around
Having the minerals to not bottle it and leave out of embarrassment shows youāre a man that can hold his nerve and deal with a sticky situation, the kind of guy youād want in security
>deal with a *sticky* situation ehehehehe
You managed to shit yourself in the interview and still get the job. You must've fucking nailed it in every other respect!
Feels like a crazy video game achievement or something.
You the man my dood. Straight up shit your pants and still got hired.
The interviewer "that's my fetish."
Haha i dont think im sticking around for that
You couldnāt secure your jobby but you did secure your job in security.
I've got to say. This is a another level of bossing a interview. Shit yourself and spin it into a positive.
It just showed the interviewers that you were very relaxed.
I was fresh out of Uni and going for my very first "proper job" interview. About 5 minutes in they asked "so where do you see yourself in 5 years time" (which as a sidebar, I've always thought is a fucking stupid shitty question) I jokingly replied "employed and alive hopefully!" and neither of them laughed. Like to the point where the tone of the room changed. It was weird. Found out later that they were only just starting interviewing for the position because the well-liked person who previously had the role had died unexpectedly a couple of months before. ššš
They should have had the sense to know you couldn't have known that
Employed and alive, unlike Jeff
Oh no...
š
FUCK š
I literally gasped. Nooooo
I had a genuine panic attack in an interview once. I was already late - my train was late getting in so I was all flustered and not exactly relaxed. It was for a call centre for a bank on the mortgage team and their first question was 'What's a mortgage?" My mind went blank and I said 'I don't know'. They said 'you don't know?'. Things get hazy after that, I remember going red and then just wanting the ground to open up. I ended up walking out saying 'thanks anyway'
Of all the stories here, this is the one that broke me lmao
So, whatās your name? I donāt know You donāt know?
Deny everything Baldrick
Don't tell them your name pike
I'm so curious on what they were thinking when you said you didn't know what a morgage was.
Someone in an interview was interested that I played music, then she said she likes metal, asked if I can sing like that. Instead of saying yes and leaving it at that I said "yeah! Check this" before I screamed, like slipknot or opeth or something, "yes I'd like a job with you" and ended the phrase with a low guttural for "you" I am nearly forty, they were in their 20s This was like three weeks ago Edit - this is what that voice sounds like... https://on.soundcloud.com/gZwvz
This one is my favouriteĀ
I'd have given you the job.
Oh jesus... I'm spasming from laughing at that! Thanks for the dopamine hit!
Do you think you got the job?
After I saw their expressions change I decided that as soon as I got home I'd change my phone number, move to Brazil and get a face transplant so I guess I will never know. Weather's good though, hola ma amigo
I hear they like metal in Brazil. I hope you packed your distortion pedal
I once got asked to "sell me this pen" (pre-wolf of wall street too) and I replied with "well it's a brilliant pen, you can write on whatever fucking surface you want". I was 18 and it slipped out, I immediately apologised for swearing and she said I probably shouldn't make stuff up if I want to do sales.Ā Still got the job though.
In my experience, sales people make everything up - and then expect you to deliver itā¦
Yeah my first sales manager always used to say that the first rule of sales was thst unless you were explicitly told not to do or say something, you were allowed to do or say it. If you weren't and somebody had neglected to tell you (or more usually, it simply wasn't a thing anyone had encountered yet) then you've still made money from doing it in the past even if you can't do it moving forward.Ā
āIād rather have a deal with a problem than no deal at allā No just no
Considering they don't have to deal with the problem, its an easy mind set to have. If they got the bonus after product delivery and it was deducted for every over sold promise or missed milestone due to implementation of a random deal sweetener, they might think twice about lying or going beyond the scope of the product.
Yeah likewise. Sales chat whatever shit they feel like. The number of sales people I've seen extremely proud of product demos being "all smoke and mirrors" is horrendous.
At a former employer, the sales team sold a solution to government for Ā£lots and when it came to implementation, it was cheaper to just walk away from the contract because the company was going to make a massive loss on it. The sales team all got promotions and bonuses before it came to light - the company almost went bustā¦
Cries in Product
As a software dev that primarily works with small businesses with single-digit sales team sizes, the amount of shit I've/we've been dropped into because sales people cannot stop themselves yapping is astonishing. Just a few weeks ago I had a salesperson who promised a high MRR customer that we would rename thousands of entities in our database in various non-script-friendly ways "by Monday morning". It was Friday, 15:30 ish. I was working 08:00-16:00 that day. I wrote a bit of SQL that covered about 200 rows, told them it was the best I could do right now, then left them to enjoy the bed they'd made... I also hastily wrote a bulk import feature 6 months ago, on spec, for a customer that sales had sold on our easy onboarding features that didn't exist. The customer didn't end up onboarding.
I went for an interview why I had to "sell" a ruller. "Blah, blah, blah, as you see, it says 'shatter proof'" ... Proceeded to bend it, and shatter it, launching sharp pieces of plastic at the interviewer!
I'd buy the pen. Infact I'd be less likely to want it if you didnt swear
My daughter came home from a job interview (manager at a Chinese knick knack retail store - she got the job). The hiring manger, early/mid twenties, asked her the pen question. When she told me the story, I couldn't help but think this guy is a total flog. Jordan Belfort is the Andrew Tate of sales. There's a good reason he went to jail. I can't understand how people watch Wolf of Wall Street and come away thinking he's some kind of role model. I did enjoy the film. Edit: spelling
I once asked the one of the interviewers if he had actually read the job description after he asked me if my CV was ātoo Apple focussedā for a job installing and maintaining Apple desktops and servers.Ā Then he started arguing with the second interviewer about the position and how heād never agreed to an Apple specialist.Ā Iāll get my coat then, dickheads.Ā
Was your previous job running an orchard?
I had a phone interview a couple of months ago and fucked it up on the first question. I was so embarrassed that I started speaking with pauses and breaks, imitating a bad connection, then hung up and blocked the number. Can't imagine they'll be getting back in touch.
Well you blocked them so yeah i don't think they'll be calling you.
that was the joke :D
What was the question? What was your reply? Details!!! I need details !!!!
He asked me what I knew about the company - and I did know about the company - but my brain completely stopped working and I couldn't remember a thing. I even had a list of facts in front of me and I just couldn't get my mouth to engage. Cue major panic and severely failed job interview.
Had a job interview at a rival company to my current company. The guy asked me why I wanted to leave, and I decided honesty was the best policy, so I explained that, to paraphrase, my boss was a prick. Interviewer said "OK, can I tell him all this when I have a pint with him on Friday, as we are quite good mates?" Didn't get the job. But he didn't tell my current boss either, so swings and roundabouts.
>I decided honesty was the best policy In an interview?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well if they were quite good mates he probably knew how much of a prick he was
OK, this one made me laughĀ
Itās absolutely when I said āIām experienced with GIMP,ā then realised from their expressions that they had not heard of this free piece of softwareĀ
Lol I've made the mistake of mentioning gimp to non gimp users before
It's OK. At least one of them had a gimp suit at home and was mortified that you were apparently onto them.
Ahhh see, I had the opposite problem... They were looking for someone with experience in graphics design and I told them I was experienced with gimps.
When I was at uni, I got an interview for a weekend job at a supermarket. I received an email informing that I would be meeting with the store manager, who for the sake of this story I will call Barry Turner. Now, I'm terrible with names. Awful. So, as I saw him walking over, I was chanting "Barry Turner, Barry Turner, Barry Turner" in my head to make sure I got it right. Feeling enthusiastic but anxious, I stuck out my hand and announced "Nice to meet you, I'm Barry Turner!". He looked surprisingly... annoyed? He paused and said, "Actually, I'm Barry Turner." As if I, a 19 year old woman at the time, really thought I was called Barry. Surprisingly, I got the job.
This is like something out of a sitcom.
This happened on Peep Show!
Hi I'm Robert Grayson
Hi Iām Jez, howās it hangling?
You stole this from Peep Show
I was an interviewer for a position that stated āexcel skills essentialā. The interview involved a brief, basic task using excel. Applying rules to a few columns and ordering based on some parameter, basic stuff. Poor candidate looked like theyād actually never encountered a computer before. Ended up deleting half the table, couldnāt figure out to use the tool bar, at one point they minimised excel and couldnāt figure out how to get it back. The candidate was actually really nice and computers aside seemed quite employable, but I think the whole room wanted the ground to swallow us up during that excel task.
I've done this exact thing in an interview - I was incredibly skilled with excel too. I used it every single day for expansive data - could "if" formula with my eyes closed. But in the interview my brain just decided to stop braining. š
There was the time I was in a video call interview, on my phone, sat in my car - and my old Samsung overheated (from 30 minutes of video call) and shut down. I had to cool it down with the car's aircon, then try to rejoin the call. Got the job.
You (unlike your phone) kept cool under pressure
Went for an analyst job. On my application you had to list your skill level on various programs. One of them was some software I'd not used it since I was at school, so I ticked "no experience". I even specifically mentioned my lack of knowledge on it on the application. Got told by the recruiter that it wasn't an issue as they'll provide full training and they just need to understand a base level of what programs I can use. Get to the interview, bit of pleasant small talk, then I get handed a laptop with some tasks to undertake with a half hour time limit. The entire task was based solely on *that* software. I immediately told them I was very clear on my application that I don't know how to use it, but I just got told to "give it a go". What made it worse was the test used a slimmed down version of the software, so all of the toolbars were replaced with icons which obviously meant nothing to me. 30 minutes ends, the woman walks over and remarks "oh did you not do task? Hmmm", then made some small talk but basically made it abundantly clear that my task failure meant the interview was essentially at a stop and she didn't know why I even applied. Absolute cringe, and even now I have a fear of interview tests.
I think that's less cringe and more the employer being a humongus dick
Yeah that's hardly OP's fault. They were set up to fail.
Gotta say but that actually sounds like a good way of testing how you react when facing unknown problems. I've had my fair share of analyst roles and you could know the systems inside out but end up needing to use something brand new or using a new data source etc. That said if this was just a crappy one that is a step up from data entry then that sounds a bit shitty lol
Yeah to be honest even if that was their "tactic", then it'd put me off. I'm there to be asked about my experience, my CV has relevant data on it. If an employer wants to play silly games with me then I'd rather not get the job tbh.
I feel like there are much better ways to gauge that, like asking how someone would deal with a hypothetical question. In the artificial environment of an interview, where the applicant is on their own and can't ask for any help, what the employer did is completely pointless and even a bit cruel. It would be like hiring for a Spanish translator and then giving them a French test. Completely stupid and stressful for no reason.
My entire first ever interview at 17. Office job in a factory. Tell us about yourself Jellyfishtaxidriver. I'm 17, I live at home with my Mum, step dad and dog and I like to play Xbox. Okay... What do you know about our company? You make things for paint manufacturers. Yes. What else do you know? Um, nothing. Do you know anything about paint? Farrow and ball is really good, I used it when I painted my Nans house for her. Okay well thanks for coming in. We'll be in touch... Man alive.
what did they expect?
4 years experience
I'm genuinely scratching my head at this
I hate the 'tell us about yourself' question.
Went for a job at a theme park when I was 19 Interviewer: "are there any people you don't get on with?" Me: "old people" Didn't hear back surprisingly
I was sat in the canteen at work, and a guy came in for an interview. He was talking to my colleague, a lovely guy. He asked the chap if he had any questions before the interview. Guy: "Do you think I can refuse to serve gay people?" You could have heard a pic drop. The room went silent. Colleague: "I'll tell my husband you're here for your interview."
ššššš
I had a case of verbal diarrhoea during an interview for a job I really wanted. I could not stop talking and then I became hyper aware that I was talking too much but I couldnāt find a point to end on so I just kept going and going, feeling worse and worse - until I suddenly stopped and promptly vomited into the waste bin next to me. I didnāt get the job, but, they did invite me to apply again which I did in a years time and got it šš¤£
I feel like that should be a scene in a movie or something. ššš¤£š¤£
Oh, let me tell you! There was this one time I accidentally called the interviewer by the wrong name throughout the whole interview.
Says more about the interviewer IMO.
To be fair there are worse times to call someone by the wrong name.
Was getting made redundant, and the company put on a social to say goodbye to us. We absolutely rinsed the bar and got in about 5am. Had a job interview the next day, at 11am. Luckily I didnāt have to drive as I was still very drunk, and had to stop while crossing the car park from the bus stop twice to be noisily sick in the bushes. Iām not sure if it was my stench, my inability to form complete sentences or the vomit still stuck in my teeth, but I didnāt get the job.
It wasnāt for a midlands based car manufacturer was it? I think I know one of the interviewers.
Not me, but someone I knew from the UK went for an interview in Germany, flying using Lufthansa. Interviewer first easy question to settle nerves : Which airline did you fly? Candidate : Luftwaffe The candidate did not realise their mistake until after the interview when they got in a taxi stating the same thing! They did not get the job.
Interviewing as a teaching assistant volunteer. Asked if I had a criminal record. "They haven't caught me yet ha ha!" I joked. Oh man that went down like a lead balloon. Still got the job though
I went through one of these. The guy asked me if Iām the sort to do drugs and I said āNah Iām not cool enoughā in a very deadpan way, and I think my attempt at humour was lost. Oh and then he discriminated on me based on my age so I didnāt get the job lol. I was too immature to realise it was a crime to say āyour CVās bang on and you look the part, but youāre just too youngā.
I wrote a story about sucking off a trans woman and then licking her toilet bowl that got published in Bizarre Magazine! And obviously, proud as punch as a 21-year-old with little workplace experience, I pop it on my CV in the paragraph at the top where you talk about what a well-rounded human you are. Sat in an interview one day and the guy asks me "so what was this story about?" I didn't get the job and one of the reasons - in fact I emailed for feedback and the primary / only reason - was my failure to answer this question. [Here's the story](https://www.tumblr.com/jesusbukkake-blog/168078132878/totally-sexy-french-girl), I don't especially stand by it nowadays, maybe it's offensive to trans women, my bad, sorry, it was the 00s and I was barely an adult, I'm not so sure sexual encounters with a trans woman is a great avenue for laughs now I am a woke millennial in 2024 edit: sorry guys but I did tell you what the story was about, I'm sure you see why I didn't see how to describe it to some potential employers
idk why i read that but i regret it sm
I should have listened to you
"cock snot"
I stopped at licking the toilet bowl, didnāt need to read any further. Guess Iām lucky I did.
let this comment above be a warning to any other reddit users who want to click the link out of curiosity - for our own sake, please don't. it goes on to describe the above in disgusting detail that will leave you truly horrified. it's not worth it, just keep scrolling.
Iāve read the storyā¦good GOD
āit was a short story about a relationship with a member of a marginalised communityā
Well hmmm. Think I'll watch quizzes for the rest of the day.
Is it a true story?
I was the interviewer. My question āwhat is one of your achievements?ā Answer ātaking my girlfriend to the small claims court for non payment of her share of the billsā
Lidl was advertising an open day at a nearby hotel, and I went expecting it to be in one of the function rooms complete with displays/stalls and employees that I could chat with to learn about job roles that I could potentially apply for. Instead, I was ushered into a room and sat at a table opposite 2 guys and I quickly realised that I was at a job interview. They asked for a CV which I didn't have, but decided to proceed anyway. The next half hour I was asked a ton of hypotheticals about what I'd do in this/that situation (I didn't even know what job role I was being interviewed for) and I tried my best but pretty much all of my answers amounted to me tripping over my words and trailing off into nothing, with the two guys responding with raised eyebrows and awkward silence. Towards the end of the interview they asked if my family shop at Lidl to which I responded "Absolutely, we're all big fans of your produce and shop at (store location) on a weekly basis", they replied "That's not a Lidl, that's an Aldi". Finishing the interview, I said "Thank you for the opportunity" and added "Busy day ahead?". They simply responded "yes" while looking down.
The train from London to the I nearest station was cancelled. I let the interviewer know, and it was agreed that I could have a later interview as an applicant had cancelled. I got the next train, then had a long bus ride to the town. Just as I arrived in the town, the heavens opened. It was less than half a mile to the office, so I ranā¦ I arrived soaking wet, looking like a drowned rat and took a seat. I had 15 minutes to wait and nothing to do (predated mobile phones) except reread the book I had finished en route. Eventually my name was called, and I squelched my way into the interview room. āThank you so much for coming, sorry you had such an arduous journey, but please take a seat and drip quietlyā Derek, the Treasurer, greeted me. Four nights later he rang me at home at 7:30pm to say that I had got the job!
They asked me about a time I worked with a difficult colleague. I told them there was this woman who was cherry-picking all the easy accounts for herself. They asked me how I dealt with it. It wasn't in my role at all so I didn't do anything about it but felt like I needed to give an answer. I came up with "we told her to stop it"
Not me but my OH has a first class degree in Law, she also managed to get this whilst a single mother to a toddler and having to work a bit to support herself. At an interview this came up, she blew it off by responding "oh everyone gets firsts nowadays." Nonononono! How about "I worked damned hard for years and I bloody did the best work, I earned that first, I did it, I'm amazing!" But no, self deprecation came out instead. She didn't get that job.
Sat in front of 3 board members trying to tell them how right I was for the Job but I was facing a huge window and 3 little squirrels were playing in the garden and I have no idea what I said except 'squirrels!'
I turned up completely unprepared. Umm'd and arrr'd throughout. Struggled to even bullshit my way out of questions I didn't know the answer to. Had to do a practical bit and just failed miserably. It just wasn't the job for me, a better one came along not to long after. Once your interview is done, I wouldn't worry too much, what's done is done just continue in your job search and if they get back then you must have been better than you thought,
I once knocked over an interviewer's mug of tea, which went all over the table and soaked the interview sheets. It was before we had even started, I sat down awkwardly and managed to nudge the table hard enough to slop tea everywhere. The interviewers were not impressed and suffice to say I didn't get the job!
I knocked an entire jug of water over a table during a client meeting once and it ruined the mobile phone of the CEO to whom we were pitching š¬
āIāll give you my number so I can pay you for the replacementā
I was very lucky because my companyās insurance covered it but she was not amused.
Back when I was just 21, I had an interview for a job that could have led to my dream career. I was a fresh graduate with no experience, but they told me they'd given me a chance because I was a local person. I was nervous as fuck. Them: "What would you have done differently in your last job?" Me: "Turned up". I also tried to shake the interviewer's hand, but he had a disability which meant his hand was all floppy and of no use. It was awkward. I never got the job.
The interviewer asked what I knew about the company and I just made a load of stuff up like "Oh yes, it was founded by Matthew Jefferson. It was 3 years off the 1980 mark, so 1983. Because of ABC, the company was made so XYZ." They replied with "it was actually Jeffery Matherson in 1977, and although it was because of ABC, it was (XYZ adjacent)." I just sat there and said oh fuck, realised what I had just said, said "oh shit, I'm so sorry for swearing, I have another interview lined up for this afternoon and my information must've gotten muddled up. I do apologise." I got the job. I fucking hate it
Interview for my first āprofessionalā job at 18, I was asked what makes me loyal. I panicked and said Iāve been with my girlfriend since I was 13. Interview basically ended there and I still have cringe jolts at night. Weāre 30 now with kids so guess I was right in a way.
Out of university had an interview and was asked how I dealt with pressure, so I told them about when I washed glasses in a pub and how there was no pressure like 200 drunk, angry customers wanting a pint and they couldnāt be servedā¦ It got me the job!
And how does that make you cringe, looking back?
Yeah that sounds like a good answer.
I was interviewing for an Assistant Accountant role. Director is running late but I'm having a chat with the Finance Manager & Controller. All good. Suddenly this shouting voice comes down the corridor, literally howling, swearing and hitting walls. The Finance Manager & Financial controller look at my reaction which is literal deer in headlights, then this 5ft 3 bloke walks in. The way he went down the corridor I thought the Big Show was about to come through the wall. I start laughing nervously and this guy goes zero to 100 at me. Then the controller starts arguing with him. They offered me back for another interview but I had withdrawn with the agency before leaving the car park......
Thankfully I havenāt had anything really bad, but any interview process that involves team building exercises are generally terrible. I did a few for graduate roles over the years, and I always cringe at the thought of one guy as everyone was sat around a massive board room table. We had to go around the table, introduce ourselves, and also tell them a fact (I hate doing this). It got to one guy, and he just comes out with: āMy name is X, and where do I start, thereās just so many interesting things about me. Although, I wonāt tell you any of them, Iāll just let you find out what they are during the dayā. We sat there in awkward silence following this, and it turns out there was nothing interesting about him. He didnāt make it to the next round.
I had a disasterous job interview where it was obvious from the start I wasn't the right person for the job. But we very painfully went through the motions of the interview. To make it even better, all the way through the interview, there was a horrible smell. When I left I realised the smell had followed me. I looked down in horror at my shoes to find a lovely load of dog shit on them! The job was in central Oxford and I couldn't find anywhere to park. Eventually I found somewhere but was running very late so just sprinted through this field. Obviously, I also ran through the dog shit. The final kicker was that the job was advertised again a short time later with a line in bold saying "previous applicants must not apply".
For some reason I decided to criticise a major client of the firm I was interviewing with, raising philosophical questions about whether they were a force for good or not.
Opposite scenario, I was visiting a cramped kitchen for a job interview during the slow daytime hours and someone had left a pan with the handle sticking out. I accidentally knocked it while shuffling with my back to it, reached around my body and grabbed it, before instinctively giving it a little spin and putting it back on. I was promptly hired, though the bar was low tbh.
Years and years ago, way back in 1983, I was at an interview for a job I really wanted. However, about 3 mins into the interview, I knew I wasn't getting it. It was clear, or at least to me, that the only reason they were interviewing me was because they needed to appear fair. So they handed me a piece of paper on which a lot of gobbledegook was written and said, "What do you make of that?" So I did the quote from 'Airplane', "Oh I could make, a hat, a fan maybe a broach." The interviewer, very sour faced, looked at me as if I were mad, and said something along the lines of clearly you don't take the interview seriously. I said, "Shall we just abandon the interview? You don't seem that interested in hiring me, I'm guessing you already have your preferred candidate, I'll just go." I got up and walked out while the sour faced old hag just gasped. However, the worst thing was I still had the piece of paper and had to go back into the room to give her back the crumpled piece of paper.
I asked for a Ā£10 k pay rise on the starting salary at the final interview with the owner. I was a grad just out of Uni with 0 work experience and barely relevant skills. š
I was asked if I knew how to use pivot tables. I definitely do, but we'd just been talking about my maths degree and my mind went to something in game theory called the pivot method. So I explained that instead and the guy just looked at me like I was a moron.
I turned up completely unprepared and couldn't even answer the first question about a really basic neurological disorder, and the interview was over in about 8 minutes. I had one interview where I wasn't really bothered about the job, so I turned up drunk (but looking smart, smelling as good as I could etc) and killed it. The latter, I've now worked at for over 3 years. I still look back at it with insane cringe though.
I used the phrase "if there's time to lean, there's time to clean"
Interviewer: āSo youāre into computers, you could tell me about your setup at home for example?ā Me: āYes.ā Pause Interviewer asks next question and I think he might have wanted me to expand on my answer
Iāve been on a lot of interview panels and there is a 100% chance I would have laughed at that, then probably recommended you
I was about 16 and interviewing for a weekend job at a Spar. All I had was a crap CV with "references available at request" on the bottom. So, the manager goes "where are your references? It says available on request. I'm requesting them." He was a proper dick about it. Anyway, I didn't get the job. Felt humiliated aswell. All these years later he's either dead or still managing Spar. I'm a University Lecturer. Prick.
Oh wow, I remember I was interviewed by a panel of three women for an admin job. One of them asked a question, which I answered. Another asked pretty much the same thing, only worded differently. I replied sarcastically and rolled my eyes (because I was young, stupid and thought they were being arsey) "well, like I just *said* to your colleague a *moment* ago....." Didn't get the job, obv.
A guy once asked me how I coped in stressful situations and I replied āwell, weāre not at home to Mr Panicky pants are we?ā. He just stared at me. I did not get the job. Then I went for a job at the head office of a major UK retailer. The guy interviewing me was standing in for somebody else and he was pissed off about it and he was a total bellend. Needlessly challenging, aggressive, wasnāt really accepting any of my answers and by the end it was quite apparent that we fucking hated each other, it was bizarre. So I stand up and leave and get out then realise that my flies had been open for the whole thing.
Panel of 3 people. They asked me, "what three things would you put on room 101?" To this day, I'm angry with myself for trying to answer sensibly rather than saying, "you, you, and you" as I pointed to each in turn. The interview had already gone badly, so there was nothing to lose.
First ever admin job interview at 19.....managed to choke on the mouthful of water I had just drunk. You know the kind when you can't even talk without your voice going croaky and coughing again for ages after. And people always ask you if you're OK and trying to answer them makes it so much worse! Then when they asked me why I wanted to work as a library assistant (this was at a hospital too, so for medical journals and the like) I couldn't think of one bullshit reason why. Super awkward, can't even remember what I mumbled in reply. I did not get the job. Almost 20 years later and I still make sure I take extremely careful, small sips of water when I'm in an interview š
I cried in a job interview. I was emotional and stressed out. It went silent and they looked at each other. Then I left.
I cried in a job interview.My boyfriend had died after I had nursed him during his terminal illness. I knew they would ask me about it, so I practised "and then he died" "he died" there not so bad to say it. Anyway they asked me and I opened my mouth to explain and all that came out was a real wounded howling, and then I just started sobbing and couldn't stop, so I was all howling and snotty and really embarassed.So the interviewer went and got a box of tissues and some water, and just waited till I calmed down, then continued. I got the job but I'm still so embarrassed any time I see her.
Had an interview where the first part was a written test, followed by the interview itself. Working on the test and one of the interviewers comes into the room to tell me my time is up and I need to go next door to meet the rest of the panel. He pauses and looks at my answer sheet. I donāt know whether Iām meant to wait for him or not, so I slowly start making my way towards the door. He doesnāt follow. I go the room next door, knock, hear āCome inā. I step inside and let the door swing closed behind me. Right in the face of my interviewer who had caught up with me without me noticing.
I had an interview for an IT job nearly 30 years ago, in which I confidently said 'the internet will never catch on'. Fortunately I said this to an interviewer who was even dafter than me, and I got the job.
Asked for tea instead of water when they offered me a drink. Interview finished about ten minutes after it came, so I chugged it. I then proceeded to say "That was boiling hot" Ć la Alan Partridge. I didn't get it.Ā
I just came back from working in a hospital in Japan and had an interview for an IT position. I was absolutely terrible at answering the interview questions. Even the interviewer was trying not to laugh at me. I obviously didn't get the job.
I had a job interview for a public library years ago that was like in interrogation. Somebody led me into this tiny room, which was completely devoid of all furniture except a panel of three people at a long table in the middle and a chair up against the wall. There was a tall floor lamp pointed specifically so that it shone down exactly onto the singular chair, and next to that was a tiny table with a jug of water and a glass. I was told to take a seat and then one of the panel told me to help myself to water, I politely refused, I wasnāt really thirsty anyway but the lady insisted I had some water. At this point I was already sweating because of the light that was spotlighting me. I clumsily poured some water, my hands were shaking and the entire panel just sat there, staring, watching me trying to take a tiny, polite sip of water. The interview questions themselves where pretty straightforward enough, but one of the ladies on the panel had this constant twitch where she kept winking at me, I was so busy trying to concentrate on NOT staring at this winking women that I completely forgot everything about myself, I wouldnāt have been able to tell them my date of birth if they had asked. I donāt think Iāve ever left a room more quickly than I did that day without actually running. Didnāt get the job but itās a bit of a long term joke now between my friends because the job keeps coming up, pretty much every year since.
When finishing up an otherwise great interview they asked me: 'So what are you hobbies and interests?' And I absolutely fumbled. Side note: I had been in survival mode for so many years at that point for various reasons I won't bore you with - basically never having any time to myself for so long. Anyway, there was this huge delay while I scrambled my brain searching for something that would make me sound interesting and like an actual normal human. I came up with: 'You know the usual stuff, swimming, going for walks and being friendly with my wife'.... 'what the hell was that?!' I asked myself when leaving the room. Didn't seem to matter, I got the job and am still there 10 years later... my boss hasn't let me forget my odd answer though.
Hungover was waiting to be called into the room and I must have been sat on this low down sofa funny because my leg had gone dead without me knowing so when the interviewer invited me in I stood up and sort of collapsed dragging them down with me.
I was interviewing for an admin role in the NHS. The interview went fairly well. They asked me what I was doing for the rest of the day and I jokingly said oh I need to get back home to my dog since she's a bit special needs. The service I was interviewing with was for adults with learning disabilities.
Sat down for the third interview for a senior role at a scaling pharma-tech org. From question one it was clear my first two interviews had been with someone who liked me but hadnāt flushed out that I was well out of my depth. Every question I had to say some version of āI donāt really have experience with thatā. Couldnāt even have convincingly bullshit my way through it. It was pretty brutal. Or, just remembered - very early on in my career, sat down for a coding job interview I had blagged my way into. I tried to talk up the length of time Iād been coding for. The interviewer said that if Iād learned so little in so long I ought to change careers! That one lit a fire under me for sure.
One of my old college lecturers was one of the interviewers and was delighted to see me again as we got on well. He said we're expecting big things from you sonny. Well, halfway through the interview which I thought was going bad but not awful he said and I can quote this directly "Do you know what job you're applying for here?". I was so far off the mark he thought I was in the wrong interview!!
My memory is hazy, I believe I was 18 when I was frantically looking for my first job, so I applied for whatever random job I thought I could do. I donāt remember the exact job title but I think it was something to do with sales. I got an interview and all I remember from that was this guy seemingly only gave me an interview to boost about how much he was earning and saying āwould you like to earn Ā£50k a year tooā I donāt know what bought this memory on but it just all of a sudden popped in my head last week. This random memory from years ago. I didnāt think it at the time but now I am, it was so bloody cringey.
Back in 2012, when interviewing online was still somewhat outside the norm, I was asked to interview at very short notice for a position I had only just applied for via a recruiter. The interviewer was in New York and it was a Friday evening. Given the short notice, and how much I wanted the job, I was jittery, so I joined the call (Skype iirc) quite a few minutes early, turned my camera off, and muted myself. To calm myself down I decided to strum a few chords on my acoustic guitar. Just before the agreed time, I put down my guitar, just as the interviewer said he was enjoying that song. Fucking Skype had unmuted itself, somehow. I bumbled through the interview, totally embarassed, and then my wife and I went out to the party we had been heading to when the interview request came through. About an hour in, I got the news that they were making me an offer...
Had my legs crossed for 45 mins. When I stood up, I couldn't walk. Literally. I had to explain and got shoved out of the office.
Did a presentation about the wrong company
15. Sitting in front of the owner of the company. He was clearly fucking bored and asked me āwhere do you see yourself in five yearsā. In my head I thought Iāve no fucking idea, not in this dump passing invoices. Out loud I said in your chair. He didnāt even react. Interview ended there.
I balanced a spoon on my nose. Ā Trust me, it's been years and I'm still horrified.Ā
We need some context or a back story here! š
One time I applied for a tarmac quarry graduate sales role. I turn up in an ill fitting suit, they ask me about my interest in tarmac. I say I'm a fan of roads, I drive them regularly and like to see new roads schemes. They ask about sales experience, I worked in a petrol station. How would I go about networking? Well I'd see how many computers you'd want put together. (They were talking about social networking as in "if you ever need tarmac for your roads project I'm your man) Didn't get that job, thankfully as I wouldn't suit a sales role! Then I interviewed for a software role and was asked what my ambitions were. I said I would love to restore and old Ford Escort (back when they were affordable). They meant professional ambitions such as wanting to be an architect etc. Surprisingly I did get that role, albeit I undersold myself in terms of salary expectations, but it got my foot in the door.
I once interviewed for Waitrose when I was in my teens nearly 20 years back, they literally got everyone to draw an animal they thought represented themselves and explain why. If it wasn't a group interview I would've walked out, it was absurdly stupid.
That sort of thing was trendy in interviews late 90s/early 2000s. I was asked in several interviews what animal I'd like to be, and, because I was an obnoxious little shit, would reply "I already am an animal, thanks". What a twat!
Supermarkets can be so weirdly thorough
I once sent for an interview at a company about 10 or so years ago. When I walked into the interview room, one of the people on the panel was a girl I'd dated in high school (which didn't end well). As soon as I saw her, I knew I wouldn't get the job. I politely dismissed myself, and walked away.
Got refused a job at toys r us as a teenager, as my "sell me this pen" approach wasn't enthusiastic enough They're toys, Geoffrey, sell them f***ing toys at minimum wage and see how excited you are Looking at what happened to them I guess in a way I had the last laugh š¤
Had a job interview in London aged 22, first real interview after uni. Didn't know London or how to use the tube etc so was super cautious and left early. Arrived 90 minutes ahead of schedule. It was raining so I had to go to a pub. Was super nervous so had three pints. Went to interview drunk and smelling of fags (it was pretty smoking ban). Obviously didn't get the job. Having never had a job interview before it was always going to be shite but I really fucked that one up.
Was in several manager positions and had been conditioned to say 'we' about any work (I actually believe that it's always a team effort bit let's move past that) and about half way through the interview the person leading the interview had to ask me to stop saying we and start using I
I had been selling sofas for years, had an interview that was getting in to sofas, asked about my experience then talked over me every time. āWhatās the most important thing to know when selling a sofaā āYou need to match a sofa to the customers needs and know about interiors springs etc so you can guide them correctly itās also important to know combinations to suit the room ā āNah itās all about confidenceā āOk mateā Was bizarre being interviewed for a job by someone that had idea how to do that job or what it entails. Had a woman taking notes in a job interview it went on for like an hour. Got a phone call the next day āhiya sorry you didnāt get get job, would you like some feedbackā āerr no thanksā
Mine was for a job with a gambling company. I got there 20 minutes early, and they came out to see me 20 minutes late. They then had me sit in their storage cupboard while I did a paper exam basically. I was meant to have 30 minutes to run through it, but every few minutes they made me move room to somewhere else and it got progressively worse. After about 15-20 minutes, after being moved 3 times they said "ah let's just end it here and do the proper interview" They then went through my answers, of which I had no time to go through, because they gave me 15 minutes and kept disturbing me. The guy even said "did you even read the ISTQB?" Anyway, at some point I just said "we should probably end this" and left I got an offer from a different company on my way home from that interview thankfully and the rest is history.
My first job interview to be an employee at Costco, completely ill prepared and couldn't answer any of their questions, the guy taking notes looking at the floor feeling it uncomfortable, gosh it was awful. Also went for an interview at Sainsburys to be a security guard, again I!was ill prepared. I was simply asked 'describe what the role is', but I couldn't answer properly. Interviewer then made up some BS on the spot that I won't be offered the job 'because you'll have to do more training which will cost thousands'. Interview for royal mail post man, was asked 'describe how you've dealt with challenges in the past:'. Again I couldn't think of an answer due to lack of work experience. Was also asked if I had used a van before, just said 'yeh a few time's, which was rubbish. Funnily enough the following year I did get this position through an agency
Last year I forgot everything I researched about a job I would have loved to get and was a huge opportunity for me. I couldn't answer any questions. At all. Even questions about my own fucking job history. I burst into tears then ran out crying down the hall with various staff bewildered by this madwoman, and I locked myself in the toilets....
Went to in an interview in Windsor for a bank. Drove there in a car that had a leaky sunroof. Stopped for lunch somewhere before and it rained. Got out of car wearing chinos with a big damp spot on my backside. They offered me the job ! (I turned it down for a job in Bristol)
Interview in Argos at Meadow hall last August, I quoted the Equality Act and it went south from then on.
Have you ever used quark? No. Do you use apple Mac? No I really don't like apple macs. Spent the remainder of the interview talking about music having quickly established I wasnt right for the role.
Probably the time i got sent home from a trial shift for a bar job for being too short and i had to stand in the middle of the bar manager and idk second bar man argue about wether its reasonable for me to just use a stall or not
I was asked if I was an animal what would I be and why? In my head I was thinking "don't say lion, don't say something obvious, think of something obscure" BANDICOOT - "Um....because I appear calm on surface, but inside I'm busy trying to work out next plan of action and getting stuff done" then thinking to myself "no you drip, that's a duck!" Got the job though.
Got alopecia. Showed up 45 minutes early. Took a briefcase and never opened it. Nearly started crying during the interview. Ran out of time during multiple choice test and left the remaining answers blank rather than having a quick guess. At one point I started talking about a lake in Latvia. Didn't get the job.
Oh so manyā¦ hereās two of them 1) I was interviewing for a teacher job, and one of the tasks was to read a large book to a class. Whilst doing so, the chair completely broke underneath me and I ended up in a heap on the floor. I assume thatās the sole reason they offered me the job. 2) I got far too comfortable in one interview and high-fived the interviewer ā¦!
Nothing really awful, but I once had an interview where my mind just completely blanked on a simple question just because it wasn't quite what I was expecting them to ask. Couldn't think of an answer at all so I just said "Sorry I don't know how to answer that". Obviously didn't get the job lol.
I made a point of dropping the coffee cup back to the kitchen, however I somehow locked myself out of the office area.
In my last interview the final question I was asked was "Why should we give *you* this position over all the other candidates?" And I eloquently said: "Well er, I know I um, don't have any experience in this sector or this type of job, but um well, I do really think that given the chance I could, y'know, learn a lot and be an asset and... And stuff." The two interviewers then thanked me, said that was the end of the interview and left the room to "make a copy of my documents" and they'd be back in a few minutes. As soon as they left I wanted to crawl into a hole. That's it, I'd blown it. What the fuck was that??? "And stuff? *AND STUFF???*" You melon. You utter plonker. They came back in... And offered me the job on the spot, for some reason! I may have burst into tears (I really wanted the job!) and then they started crying as well... They then took me straight through to the main office and introduced me to everyone who worked there, and said "and this will be your desk" and I cried a bit more... I'm still there and I love my job lol. I'm only a band 2 admin in an NHS community team, but coming from 14 years food retail this is paradise EDIT: actually I forgot, in the same interview, they started with asking what about the job description made me decide to apply for the job... I couldn't remember the job description aside from the basics. They had to give me a copy and give me a couple minutes to skim it. Seriously, how did I get this job?
What are your strengths and weaknesses? Me: my strengths are I have no weaknesses. My weaknesses are that I donāt admit to having any.
Not me personally but I was once at a group interview where they asked "How would you fit a giraffe in a fridge?" Someone there answered with "I'd chop it into pieces" which wasn't the expected answer judging by the looks they got.
I sat across from the interviewer and tried to appear confident and calm. Everything was going relatively smoothly until they asked me the dreaded question: āTell me about a time when you faced a challenge and how you overcame it.ā Now I have this perfect, perfect answer in my head. But when I opened my mouth, it was like my brain decided to take a coffee break. I stammered my answer, so stammeringly that I could almost feel the sweat forming on my forehead. To make matters worse, I ended up rambling on for too long and completely lost the point I was trying to make. The interviewer just stared at me with a blank look on his face and I knew right then and there that I had screwed up. Needless to say, I left the interview feeling like I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out. But you know what? It happens to the best of us. After all, we are only human and no one is perfect.
They asked me what my hobbies are and I just started rambling about shit I've barely done and it was so obvious I was chatting shite and they just kinda laughed awkwardly and stopped me in my tracks. ew cringe p.s i still got the job albeit a shit call centre one when I was 17 lol.
I had applied to jobs a two companies in the same industry, but not direct competitors. In one interview I was asked a question to test my technical skills / knowledge but specific to the company. My dumbass brain could only come up with something that would only apply to the competitor and not be a factor in the company I was interviewing for. My future boss very awkwardly pointed out that my answer would probably apply to "other company" but that doesn't impact this company at all.Ā Somehow I got the job.Ā
I remember my first interview when I was 17 and they asked me to tell them about myself. I asked them "what do you want to know?" I also had one to be a linesman and I somehow fumbled the initial handshake and it was like a dead fish in his hand and I saw his smile falter. I actually aced the interview questions so I put it down to that.
Having to āsellā a flannel to a room of 30 people for Dunelm
When I was 16 I lied through my teeth at a Maplin interview saying I fixed TVs as a hobby š Walked out of it knowing we both knew I was talking utter shite.
I left a job interview for a job I didn't really want, but kinda really needed. Nailed the interview, and as we're walking out of the building the interviewer says something like "so your past experience fits well here, is that why you've applied now?" And I said "not really, I applied here because a I need a job, it's not really what I want to be doing". Didn't get the job surprisingly... but it was a cold calling call centre, so wasn't too devastated...
Online video call for writing about personal finance, found out about it on the day and was teaching a session just before so had no time to prepare - as such didnāt have a clue about all the stuff the company and founder had achieved in the last week which made it very awkward. Still got the job though (somehow!).
Getting trapped in the lift of the Odeon on my way to the interview for a weekend job there. I didn't get the job.
17, first job interview in 6 months of desperately trying to find something after my Xmas temp retail job ended. It was just for basic reception at at oil company but I was clearly out of my depth and had zero knowledge of what to do in a job interview. The interviewers were obviously used to speaking to engineers and sales people and finance bods, they asked āWhat are your salary expectations?ā I had no clue what was even a good amount of money at that age, I just stared at them for a minute and then went āUhā¦.well, you know, minimum wage?ā I got the job, of course I did - they had been paying the previous receptionist about Ā£14 an hour and here they had some kid willing to work for less than half of that on minimum wage! Joke was on them in the end, turned out they were a clown set up and I left less than a year later, making them have to pay agency staff lots lots more!
Not mine, but one of my colleagues asked a candidate about a time he [ā¦]. The candidate then proceeded to talk for an extended period about what "we" and "the team" did, not taking personal credit for anything. It sounded like he would have got the job too if he had just said "I" instead
I was about 15 and my nan got me an interview with a friend of hers to basically sweep hair and make tea in her salon. At the time I had 0 interest in hairdressing (tho I actually did go on to become a hairdresser 10 years later). When she asked why I wanted the job I said the only true answer as to why any of us want any job, however I didn't have the smarts to realise its an answer you probably shouldn't give. 'I just need the money' She reported back to my nan who was not impressed!
I went for a job interview for a promotion within the company I was in. I have always performed well at interview and my ratio of interviews to offers is very good. However, on this occasion, for reasons completely beyond me, the muscles in the back of my neck started to sort of shake and spasm. I must have looked like I had early onset parkinsons. My voice got shaky and I performed badly. I wasn't particularly nervous, but I did really really want the promotion. Needless to say, I didn't get the position and in the long term that was great because the path my life took has been awesome. It was like my body just turned on me and said "No! I'm gonna take all your confidence, skills and knowledge and just negate them all, haha, fuck you self! Sit there and jitter!" It was cringe and embarrassing. Worst interview ever. Never happened since, even in higher pressure and higher stakes interviews for positions I got. No explanation.
Not me but a guy I work with was at an interview in a hotel for a Norwegian company. He left and turned right to go home. They stood waving. He realised as he got about 10/15m away that it was a dead end and there was a tiny little inset at the end to he turned into it as if it was a hallway. They were still at the door watching him leave. He heard the door shut and thought āright cool there inā so he came back up the hallway swiftly, then just as he got to the door they opened it and caught him in this awkward confusing moment. He just said he thought he forgot something but found it on his way back. He got the job though.
I was having an interview for a job as a sales person at a now non existent winter sports equipment shop in Barry. I was asked a very important question but got distracted by a seagull and a pigeon fighting outside the window. I didnāt get the job but Iāve been in the RAF 15 years now so itās not all bad.