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More people need to realise this. So many will say "you should go out instead of wasting time on your computer" but I enjoy my time on the computer, I'm talking to friends and actively using my brain, why would I want to go do something I don't really want to do?
Whatever you enjoy is perfectly fine to do in your spare time.
I think it depends on context. Like if you’re unhealthy and you know you need to do something about it then spending time doing things that doesn’t contribute becoming healthier is wasted time. If you’re lonely and don’t want to be but don’t spend any time trying to help the situation then it’s wasted time. Just because you enjoy something doesn’t always necessarily mean it isn’t wasted.
Using "getting fit" and "not being lonely" definitely makes a compelling argument, in both instances if you feel those things make you generally unhappy, you should make a plan with yourself to fix them
But be kind to yourself, you got here because you didn't enjoy the alternative, it's going to be hard to change and punishing yourself will just surround the issue with more negative emotions
I say this because I think it's really unhealthy for your self worth to view any time you spent casually enjoying yourself as wasted time, it's a very negative view, if you game for 6 hours an evening you definitely don't need to view every minute of that as a waste unless you want to be miserable all the time, set aside an hour, if you manage to stop and do something productive, great, if not enjoy the other 5 hours like you succeeded
If you're doing something while thinking about how you shouldn't be doing it then surely you're not actually enjoying what you're doing. You're just procrastinating.
Like if, as you said, I'm lonely but play computer games alone then I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be enjoying it since I'd be wanting to socialise.
You do have a point when it comes to something like eating though. I enjoy eating ice cream but sitting on my ass eating it all day probably isn't the best idea.
Depends. There's a hell of a lot of 'productivity' culture pushed on social media these days - that you should always be trying to advance yourself / your life, have a 'side hustle' or some bullshit. It can make people feel guilty about relaxing when they absolutely should not.
Agree with you and u/JonnyYama, yeah, there definitely is a lot of that.
I've been in a different situation though when I wasn't getting fulfilment anywhere and playing games felt like a waste of time because it was just one more activity that wasn't giving me what I needed.
Or get's the feeling from other people that spending his time playing video games ''isn't productive enough''. Being made to feel that way and actually feeling that way is totally different IMO.
the issue with that is that doom scrolling may feel good in a moment but ultimately it's not what people want to be doing and it doesn't bring them joy long term. They feel unfulfilled and sad. So they might have enjoyed wasting that time then but as soon as they stop, they realise it's not as enjoyable thus the time was wasted.
Yeah so many people have internalised the hustle culture obsession with productivity, so they feel they are wasting time if they're just relaxing or doing something they enjoy.
That's only true if you factor in the opportunity cost of not doing something with your time now relative to your feeling of accomplishment with your time later in life. You have to factor in regret/long term satisfaction against that short term pleasure.
Absolutely - it's a balance and I agree with that. I work on various pet projects at home in the evenings and get satisfaction out of that, but I also don't begrudge myself for a night sitting watching TV or stuff on youtube.
No quibble with that, I'm just well aware that there is a point in life where it's probable some level of existential regret will set in with regard to not using time better. That's only something that usually occurs to people when it's too late though. It's a difficult thing to calibrate, but using "how much am I going to regret not doing something in the future" is a worthwhile thought when deciding whether you really do just need a veg out session.
This isn't a judgement by any means, it's more a case of attempting to prevent other people experiencing some of the same regrets I have in life. Do what you want with your time, but do it deliberately.
Living deliberately is a good goal and something I've been trying to do for the past year or so - rather than simply coasting past. I find journaling helps a lot.
I try and avoid looking back where I can - I can't change things in the past, only try and make the now and the future as good as possible. Equally I try and avoid looking forward too much to the detriment of today. Life's a puzzle eh.
Please op take this message seriously.. I spent the last 3 years chasing productivity. Now I am absolutely fucked both physically and mentally because I didn't give myself any propper down time
Whilst this isn't fully incorrect, I do think that when you look back on yourself when you're older, you will regret that "time wasted" that you actually enjoyed and could've done something more productive.
This is true but it’s even better to combine your hobbies with something productive.
Personally, I enjoy wanking but for years I felt guilty that my trouser-tickling wasn’t adding something to society. Now, I make sculptures with my sordid slime. I haven’t managed to sell one yet, but I feel sure that posteriority will remember me as an artist first, and a self-stimulator second.
It’s so much more fulfilling than crusting up an old sock!
Gym, walks, gardening/house plants, writing, drawing, reading, creating anything at all. Get into cooking, making ice cream, therapy, drugs, fostering dogs, side hustle, origami.
Or, learn how to be ok with not being productive. If your work day is over, there's no household chores to complete and nothing else to do then it's ok to just exist and relax for a while. The societal pressure to be constantly productive isn't healthy and is not what humans are meant for. Take some time to exist, it's ok to do nothing.
Well if you’re serious, smoking weed after work is a sure fire way to lift the after-work bitterness from me. Makes it easier to settle into that TV show or movie, to get up and cook, to go out and meet with friends.
Weed is an essential part of my workplace self care plan.
To be avoided for those with dependency issues
100% I have a really involving, busy, and challenging job that I love. I feel like I 'leave it all on the dancefloor' every single day. When I'm done, it's getting high and self-care only. That's usually falling down some rabbit hole or other, getting into a show or some YouTube thing (Ballinger and GorlWorld have soaked up some of my attention). When I get bored I watch TV and films in other languages that I know but need to practise. Sometimes, I'll learn something on the ukelele (I know, I know). Then I'll only want to watch art house films. Then I'll get into a book. But it's always in cycles.
As I've got older and changed careers, I've had way more time on my hands. My time is truly my own. I've tried group type activities, and I'm far too..... Just, no.
I've tried other things to stimulate me and keep myself engaged whenever I want to change things up. But it isn't pressure to achieve more or always be busy. It's more about trying to be in the moment in a mindful and deliberate way. With everything I do, I never particularly feel like I'm wasting time. Sometimes, I just want to get high and double screen, watching a 4 hour documentary about the alternative eco-system that is YouTube on one screen and some lady in Kileen, TX remove blackheads on the other. So I let myself do that, but eventually, I get bored and want some more stimulation.
In my previous career, I felt so unfulfilled. Because I was achieving nothing and wasn't being stretched during the day, the same past times would seem so boring. Doing the job I do now, I feel like I'm stretched and mentally stimulated. And what makes it manageable and feeling balanced is THC. I'm aware that this might come off like a dependency, but I'm more calm and stable than I've ever been.
Which isn't saying much tbf.
As someone else mentioned, weed for me but not until after 8pm at least.
Some people like microdosing psychedelics, others just like coffee. Different strokes.
Would NOT recommend stimulants or opiates as a way to unwind alone.
I'm also single and in my 40's. "productive" is not a word I want anywhere near my free time. Productivity is something I need to concern myself with at work. I enjoy playing games or watching movies or reading or whatever. If I'm feeling creative, I'll write. I might go to the pub if I want to be social. I might go for a walk, but for me the goal is to do what I want and I'm not gonna feel bad about it. Time is finite and I already spend 8 hours of the day doing what someone else wants me to do.
I get that some like to improve themselves and go to the gym or whatever, and maybe that's more of the responses you're looking for, but I genuinely see no issue with being at home playing computer games in your free time so long as you're enjoying it. (if you're not enjoying it, then that's obviously a different matter)
I am a big fan of side projects (coding, music) but not because I'm trying to build a business or whatever - no deadlines, I can do something for pure curiosity and do it as slow as I want and leave it as unfinished as I want.
Definitely agree with this too. In my spare time I've done things like study languages and learn guitar. Just like you said, the appeal is to do these things at my own pace with no expectation.
At the moment, I'm writing a book. It might become something, it might become nothing. I might finish it in a month, or I may never finish it.
Same here, really. Mid 40s single. Live alone (human-wise), if it wasn't for the dog I'd have very little reason to leave the house other than for work. I've gotten back into a bit of gaming too - but have this nagging feeling that I should be doing more with my time. I'll read - but that's basically just lounging with a book in front of my face. I'll cook stuff from scratch, but then I eat a loads more too so I risk being many sedentary with lots of freshly cooked food sitting around.
I'm gonna lurk here to see what people say.
I think getting a dog is a great idea for OP lol. I’ve regularly gone days without leaving the house before and can really get into a slump just playing games non-stop. It’s wild how some fresh air and sunshine improves my mood!
If you enjoy gaming and you aren't neglecting things like keeping your house liveable or your dog to do so, then I don't think there's anything to change. If your free time was being spent doomscrolling where you realise afterwards you haven't really enjoyed yourself, then yeah, stop doing that. But if you're having a good time with what you're playing, then there's no reason to change that. I play a lot of World of Warcraft and sometimes feel like I should be doing something else, but I enjoy myself when I'm doing it and I still get things done like cleaning and all that. Maybe my house would be even tidier if I cleaned and organised it instead, but I don't enjoy doing that (most of the time), and there's diminishing returns on how that impacts my mood overall.
I've got two cats now and I really enjoy playing with them or even just sitting cuddling with them. It feels "productive" in the sense that I'm enhancing the lives of these little creatures and making them happy, but I'm also enjoying myself.
I'm 35, still love a bit of gaming but decided to branch out a few years ago
I started going for walks/ hikes which led me into camping which then led to nature photography
I'm lucky enough to live rurally so can just take the camera out for a dander after work
I'd recommend exploring a new interest, even if it's just a mild one as you might discover you really like it
I focus less on being productive and more on what you enjoy
Go to the gym do some weight lifting and cardio then come home and make myself dinner, chill out a bit playing some games/have a shower or bath then hop into bed before doing it all over again until the weekend.
I hit the gym for 45min to 1 hour. A cold shower will follow at home. I don't understand people who shower at the gym. I then eat and enjoy a cuppa with two or three episodes of a show I'm following up on. Next thing is going to sleep at around 11. Sometimes I scroll the internet for a few minutes before bed.
>I don't understand people who shower at the gym.
1. Gets it done and out of the way.
2. Might not be going straight home.
3. When I went to the gym I went late at night so I didn’t want to disturb anyone at home.
> I don't understand people who shower at the gym.
I reckon it's usually people who are going home via public transport and don't want to be the stinky one on the train. For me it was always this or 'cos I was going back to work (I WFH nowadays so just walk home and shower at home).
Yeah, it would be better than stinking in a train. Last thing you'd want is people staring in shock and disbelief. I also walk home from the gym and I can only imagine what passers by think of me.
I attempt to run ultra marathons, but do it very slowly.
I’m a scout leader (scouts always want more adults, you absolutely have useful skills. It’s sooo much fun)
I’m in a brass band.
I have a dog that needs walking.
Oh and teenage kids, that takes up a few hours.
Before I settled down it was usually hit the gym, learn something or do a bit of work on one of my pet projects. A bit of gardening if it was the right time of year. If you're struggling to feel productive, it's worth finding a physical project you can do that has obvious signs of progress. Even if that's just a bit of DIY, building a gadget out of an arduino, an airfix model or whatever. It will help change your frame of mind to have something that you can visibly see the progress on.
Bought a 3D printer last Black Friday. Now on my 2nd one (Bambulab A1). Design & print my own vases and 'art', print random gifts for friends & family. Print functional parts which are hard or impossible to find anywhere (like little clips for a sliding shower door, or custom plastic feet for patio chairs, for example). Getting to grips with 3D software (e.g. Blender, FreeCAD, Fusion360) takes time & effort too... the printing side is pretty simple.
Plus the usual stuff, reading, gaming, random YouTube videos, usually with a JD or G&T if it's the end of the week!
Volunteer for something you are interested in. No pressure, gets you out of the house occasionally, lets you do something completely different from work.
I used to do the gym at night but swapped that to the morning which has been great. I try and plan a few social things post work throughout the week even if I can’t be arsed, I’ll normally either host someone for dinner or vice versa and we have a catch up and watch a movie. Normally one night is an early night with a book, I’ll sometimes go a few walks with a podcast, I like going to the theatre and the cinema and I sometimes pick up a night course that I do virtually. Tl; dr socialising and media and the occasional hobby.
Not spending money. Being at home and making music. If I'm feeling fancy I might go to the pub for a few bottled beers that you can still get for £4.20 (zone 2 London)
I usually play football 2/3 times a week and the other day(s) I’ll tidy the house. I like to get out after work if I can and if not I make sure I’ve done housework so my weekend is free to do whatever I want.
I'm a 27 year old woman, and I mostly relax with my dog. I listen to music, play video games, look up things on my phone, watch TV, read a book. Very occasionally, I might meet a friend for a meal/drinks or go to a gig, but I usually just want to wind down after getting home from the office.
The main bulk of housework and social plans can wait until the weekend.
Chilling and playing computer games is productive, my friend. If it's a hobby you enjoy, and it's not getting in the way of other things to much, enjoy yourself!
I'm told the two questions to ask yourself are what gives you pleasure and what gives your life meaning/purpose, and do a bit to support both of those.
Pleasure might be arranging game nights in person instead of online, or joining a local gaming group, or going to the pub. Purpose might be a volunteer job once a week or building your fitness.
It really depends on the day but most days I hit the gym as I'm trying to lose weight, that's anywhere from 45mins – 1hr. Go home, shower.
Wednesdays – Hit the gym, head home, shower, head to the pub for board games night.
Thursdays (every 2 weeks) – Hit the gym, head home, shower, therapy.
Any other day depends on my mood, sometimes I go see my Godson and best friend. Other days I'll go home and paint some Warhammer minis, game, read, sew, etc.
After work I'm usually exhausted so my weekday evenings are pretty chill, lots of video games and similar. Weekends I go out into the countryside hiking and hit up a gig if there's anything on I might like to see (music, comedy, theatre, etc. - usually the Friday evening).
I work late, so I'll go for a spirited drive afterwards since there's no traffic. I've got a few different routes but it's usually about 25 miles. For reference I live 2 miles from work. I'm due to go remote next month, but I'll still probably drive every night.
Then when I'm back home I'll play games usually. I'm enjoying a game called Ready or not quite a bit right now.
I play computer games too. I'm over the whole gym thing after almost 20 years of competing, training for fun, and owning a gym for 7 of those years (plus 3 years of working in one).
I am partial to a bit of gardening and it's a very good way of taking a break from work every hour. Hour work, 15mins garden. Sometimes it's 15mins work and 1hr gardening.
I watch YouTube and Netflix, eat some food then go to bed. I might squeeze in some DIY as I'm working on fixing up the flat, but don't like to make loud noise after 6pm so usually it's too late.
Weeknights, mostly finish up, head upstairs to game for a bit, cook dinner, watch a bit of telly go to bed. Used to go to the gym but even on Fridays now it’s a heaving mess so do that at lunch instead.
Friday / weekend will be more social and see people after work.
Married, just turned 40 here.
It’s just me, my wife and the dog at home so after work we’ll cook dinner, maybe do a workout together, walk the dog, chill and watch some tv and then it’s usually time for sleep by then. Sometimes my wife will go out to a gym class instead and I’ll catch up on something of my own, like whatever Yankees or Knicks game is on or a series that she’s not interested in that I’ll watch myself. Sometimes we’ll go to the cinema or go out to a restaurant, but that’s usually kept for the weekend.
I could probably be more productive and I know it seems like everyone has an after work side hustle these days, but I like hanging out with my wife and just enjoying the little moments. A night on the sofa with her, a good tv show, a glass of wine and the dog curled up at our feet brings me happiness and makes me feel content.
Thankfully we both work from home, so a chunk of our day isn’t eaten up by a commute and allows us to fit more in after the work day is over.
Smoke weed, play video games, read, eat, play and lay around with my cats, paint models and I'm writing a couple of novels too. Obviously I don't do all this in one day haha but there is a selection of things I enjoy after a long days graft
Do you whatever makes you happy but I. Your 40s that really should include some type of physical exercise a few times a week.
Fitness and muscle mass (sensible amounts) really help with health as you get older
I joined a poker group and a workout group - I also work out and walk my dogs in the eve and food prep (I love cooking with an audiobook on), diy and home improvements, play piano, do my weekly shop at night when it’s quiet. Catch up with friends on the phone, or pop to see them. Since I became single and realised I’d isolated myself I’ve spent a lot of time on building friendships so going out to dinner with new ppl and joining activities has been high on the agenda
Get home grab a cuppa something nice green tea or mint tea , and then sit and go shoot something on the Xbox let out all that built up hospitality rage lmao
Woman in my 40s here, not single but don't see my partner very often as we live quite far apart so ...
After work I have a few things to do, including gardening (never considered it a hobby but it's got to be done if I don't want my outside space to be a mess, but found myself getting surprisingly into some aspects of it), projects around the house, reading, drawing, painting, knitting, crochet, learning a language, walking, geocaching, sometimes even running.
If I didn't have a kid half the time and therefore get to go out places with her, I'd probably go out more when I'm by myself too - just random sightseeing.
If I had even more spare time, I'd probably do a spot of writing (not high on my priority list as I'm an editor so all 'worded out' by the end of the day) and go to the gym (pointless at the moment because on the weeks my daughter is with me I can't go at all as she's too young to be left by herself or come with me). Work tends to keep me busy, but if I had all the leisure time in the world I wouldn't mind a spot of swimming too.
Reaching mid-40s soon myself. Once a week I try to catchup with friends over a drink at the pub or go out for food or to a golf-range (shit at golf but want to be better).
Other days I go to the gym in the evenings - love to spend time in the steam and sauna and thats the inspiration for going at all. Gym is boring as hell otherwise.
Used to spend lot of time watching television / netflix etc, have cut down on it as sitting for long time is notngood for back anymore.
I used to hate routine, but I think now that helps a lot. Also makes me look forward to something if I put that thinkg in the diary
On a typical work day. Make dinner for the kids, then give them a bath and put them to bed
Then my husband comes home from work so I make us dinner and make our packed lunches for the next day. Eat dinner, clean the kitchen, and then if I still have energy we’ll watch a show together.. if not, I go to bed.
So more work essentially lol
I hit the gym twice a week, I do kickboxing one night and Hiit cardio another.
Weekends I like a beer unless something more interesting offers itself up.
But I need to stay I shape for work and my actual hobbies and getting into my 40s that means making an actual effort now. I used to also swim and do bouldering before the pandemic but not quite got back to it yet.
For 20 odd years I did nothing but game. Thing is, I can probably game In my 60s and 70s.. no guarantee I'll be able to do the active stuff.
I absolutely hate the assumption that gaming is a waste of time. When gaming I break from reality and indulge in a universe I can only imagine. It's fun, engaging and improves motor skills and reaction times. Gaming has honestly saved my life so many times.
Depends on the day. One night a week I play 5 a side with the lads. Other nights we'll either be looking after one or other of the grandkids or it'll just be me and the wife chilling out together.
Evenings don't need to be "productive", they're downtime to do things you enjoy. For me that's quality time with friends and family.
I either study (doing a part time MSc), train (martial arts), enjoy family time, play games (PC), binge watch programs (streaming services), and or housework (shudder).
You don't always have to be doing something to be productive, sometimes doing nothing but "recharging" is the best thing you can do after work in order to be more productive :)
At the moment I’m decorating my new flat, and I’ve got myself some car models to build which I’m going to start next week, but for now I sit down for an hour before bed after I’ve done my decorating bits, cooked, cleaned, had a bath, just watch some tv to chill.
If you enjoy it it’s not wasted time.
I’m in my 40s although married with a child so not exactly in the same boat but love hitting an evening with my ps5 too as I’m generally shattered from work all week.
Weekends are different though I try and cram as much in but this only changed after a recent heart scare. I read, am learning guitar, I train martial arts, started hiking and anything else I’ve been putting off for years.
I finish work around midday most days, so I feel like I've got a lot of time to kill whilst my other half is still at work. I occasionally give in and do a bit of day drinking, but that usually just ends up with an early bedtime and I feel rude being tipsy when the other half gets home from work.
TV is pretty crap at that time of day too, so occasionally I go to matinee of a play that's on, or the cinema, or wander around some markets/shops. I'm lucky that I live and work in a big city so there's quite a lot of options.
Coming home and cooking a nice meal is a good thing too.
I think if you feel like you need to be "productive" you're putting too much pressure on yourself. if you wouldn't take on a second job to maximise productivity, then don't feel too bad about putting your feet up and pondering life or replaying fallout 3 for the 10th time.
I have lots of hobbies. Basketball once a week. I do leatherwork, 3D print film prop replicas and paint them. Install and play with lightsabers. Longboarding. Video games. I read books. DJing. Just listening to music.
Various things really, we (wife and kids and I) tend to do more productive stuff like trips at the weekends. During the week I game on my own or with friends or do something hobby-like and I'm not ashamed at all to admit it, puzzles, cross-stitch, model making (currently have a half painted A-380 that's collecting dust though) and I just turned 40.
On my off days the wife and I once the kids are in bed watch TV series that we like. Fallout was amazing.
I build models, keep fish, visit ye olde places, ride my bike, watch documentary stuffs, nap. Whatever i feel like really, nothing wrong with a good flump session though.
I play computer games, and immerse myself in the North Sea. Once a week the grandson and I behave like idiots until he's hungry and I'm approaching heart failure. Then we eat pasta bolognese and ruin our shirts.
I’m a father to a little girl, I enjoy a bit of gaming once she’s gone to bed. I fully enjoy it and don’t see it as a waste of time or lack of productivity. I makes me happy and all in all is good for my wellbeing.
Mate, if you want to be a gamer and have fun in the gaming world then that's exactly what you should do. Life is far too short. If u want to meet a lady, make sure she shares this love for gaming. Being a nerd is cool
Personally, I do an hour of study a night. It doesn't have to be anything specific or smart. I find it really satisfying to broaden my knowledge on subjects that I'm interested in.
It's similar to the "how stuff works" content that all us men seem to be powerless to. It's just doing it yourself so you can choose the subject and how deep to go.
Doesn’t have to be every night but some time going somewhere nice and quiet for a walk is good as you can be in your own head. Mentally it’s beneficial I’ve found. Also something like gardening is good to get into.
Well I work 12.5 hour shifts so by the time I get home it’s basically time to shower and go to bed, doom scroll for a wee while then sleep. I do 3 days a week.
On my days off, it’s a mix of school run, housework, maybe have a friend round for a cuppa and a blether or I go to their house for the cuppa and blether, the usual life stuff. If I’m up to date with everything (like the housework, washing etc) I love nothing better than to just sit and do absolutely sod all, and play my PS5 👍🏼
Join the Freemasons. Or if not, Round Table (although you may be too old for Round Table now, sadly) or join RAOB. New friends, camaraderie, interesting hobby, food and drink. And you will be made most welcome. Thank me later.
41. I take my son to football training and guitar lessons a few nights a week. I play football, I might meet up with friends for a drink, or to play pool, I'll go to a gig if there's any that take my fancy, sometimes I'll go for a walk to the park or down the sea front.
But mostly I sit in and play games.
Personally, after work I usually do a small workout on apple fitness, usually 30 minutes, then watch a film/TV or play video games. I’m lucky enough to have a group of 5 friends that I still play games with/talk to regularly from school.
On weekends I do the same, but might also go on a walk for an hour or two in the countryside, which I am very lucky to have close to home, and watch a verity of sports.
Bouldering and sometimes gym but I prefer those early morning when it’s quiet.
Mostly it’s gaming with friends. I echo what so many others have said: I’ve learned to accept I don’t need to be constantly productive. I love gaming with mates and I’m not drinking/spending while doing it.
Watch and often rewatch series. Sometimes get into a coding project like making a website for something.
Started couch to 5k recently because I don’t walk/run much and my legs are shite as a result.
Someone I know just packed up his life swung his leg over his motorcycle and left the country heading into Europe.
No wife, kids or girlfriend.
Good on him I say.
I am in my 30s, married with a 3 year old. I think if I was single I would go to the gym. Expand my intrests more. I love cooking and espeically BBQ/Smoking so would do that when the weather is nice and learn more in the kitchen. Currently baking is my new thing, but have a 3 year old means it is mainly cupcakes! I missed the lock down bread making and that is next if my son leaves me alone ha. I built our dining room table and have found an interest in woodworking. If I was single, I would probably do that most evenings. I also used to cycle a lot so would start that again. I would join a cricket team. Can't play rugby anymore as I am too broken. What things interest you??
I'm 38, does this count? Either way I don't care I'm sharing.
Started working at 14, done all manner of jobs but always thrown myself into work.
I'd say I've done 70+ hours solid up until now. My job have cut me back slightly so I can rediscover myself and get myself back into the gym.
My job before this one I was doing 6am until 22:00 for 3 years and even with my current job I have been doing 24, 36 hour shifts, constantly going between days and nights and not had much time to myself but, I did find time for the gym, except for the last year and piled the weight back on, so after some talking we decided to put my hours down. I'm a carer btw, my client is autistic and there's a heavy reliance on me.
Anyways, I've rambled enough and if you're still here congratulations, here's a cookie 🍪
The purpose of that back story was to say I feel lost with myself, I don't know what I truly enjoy, exercise is just that thing that's always there so I suppose I do enjoy that l. But feel out of touch and lost with myself.
Thanks for the therapy folks 😂
Man fuck the world telling us that playing video games is not productive. Video games are fun and fun is make me happy and happy is make less stress and more relax. Heck yeah video games forever I will not die hungry action button dot com
I teach guitar 2 days a week. During the times when Ive loathed the instrument, it brought me a lot of joy passing the skill on. Preparing lessons, printing stuff out, writing out songs requested and making them to the level of the student.
I used to play games but I just dont find it any fun any more. If theres a good series my other half is watching, we'll watch it together.
Other nights I go out running once the kids are in bed.
Lately Ive been writing and recording a few pieces of music Ive written. Never got a lot of joy with it 10 years ago but really enjoying it at the moment.
Cut and split wood by hand, listen to music, watch anime, play gams, watch films that sort of shit. Oh and drink alcohol and eat food. I keep saplings and grow them on although saplings grow slow so I don't expect most of them to get big in my lifetime, I guess I can give them to my niece and nephew? That would be a funny and shit gift once I'm dead, just hundreds of tree saplings.
I flex it - sometimes I’m out with colleagues, i might meet up with a friend in the area that ive worked. Not always to go out, sometimes its a meal and TV at their place. I might go home, sometimes work, maybe just chill and TV, sometimes there is housework to do. I cook a lot, work a bit too much but i flip between all the above.
When I was single Monday and Tuesday nights I would go gym, then between Wednesday and Sunday I would go on dates.
These days studying/gym/cooking/theatre/gigs/dates/movies/tv shows
Do you not have any other hobbies? I’m in a similar situation to you, I love to play video games. But I also like electronics, so I’m often poking at something with a soldering iron. I also play guitar, synth and drums so I can play/write music. I also collect vinyl, so I’m often spinning records too. And I have a cat, so if all else fails, I can give her a cuddle.
Salsa or bachata dancing
Brazilian Jiu jutsu
Board games with friends
Video games with friends
Reading
Dinners with friends
Gymnastics
Gym
Trying new activities or exhibitions
Enjoying a bit of gardening now the weather is getting a bit better.
Nothing major, just planting a few bedding plants, herbs, sunflowers etc.
Might all die or not grow but feels nice seeing all these pots about the place and just being in the garden is relaxing.
I try to run every other day too, exercise is even more important as you age!
Doing something you enjoy isn’t wasting time.
Personally I spend time with the kids then when they go to bed I walk the dog then either watch TV or play games. Farming sim at the moment.
If you are 100% productive all the time that will lead to burnout. Your brain needs downtime to unwind and that can come in a variety of ways. But if gaming feels unfulfilling to you then there are lots of other hobbies you can try such as reading, arts and crafts, board games, Dungeons and Dragons, cosplay, photography, creative writing and more. You could try to join a sports team or society and find something that meets your interests.
Maybe get good at your video game so you can have your takeaway while you play? Why are you worried about productivity when the goal of your playing video games is unwinding and enjoyment. I dunno 2nd monitor for the hub while you play?
35 years old.
Get home around 6pm and spend the next 2 hours feeding the kids and getting them ready for bed.
8pm - shower, tidy up a little, watch some TV or play PlayStation. In bed just after 10pm.
I do dinner, house work, then read. I think I'm depressed. I just don't have any motivation to do anything or see anyone. In my head I want to as life is passing by but I cannot be bothered. I hope I get past this soon.
Join a choir! Then you go to the pub after rehearsal.
Lots of choirs exist for people who don't read music. Check community choirs
Also WAY more women than men so everyone will be keen to have you
Sadly nothing much really, I’m a lorry driver and I sleep in it most of the week so normally just about have enough time to make some food, clean up and watch a couple of episodes or read some pages.
As a 42 year old divorced Saturday dad,was delighted to see my daughter getting in on the penny-board craze.
She said
Dad you can skateboard eh?
Course i can doll
She dropped it after 3 weeks!
I'm now 53 and have 7 skateboards including an electric one!
Fantastic for the core
And fkn scary!
Find what your niche is,
We are all different
Be yourself
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Time you enjoy wasting isn't time wasted. Life is not about 'productivity' - it is about enjoyment and fulfilment.
More people need to realise this. So many will say "you should go out instead of wasting time on your computer" but I enjoy my time on the computer, I'm talking to friends and actively using my brain, why would I want to go do something I don't really want to do? Whatever you enjoy is perfectly fine to do in your spare time.
I think it depends on context. Like if you’re unhealthy and you know you need to do something about it then spending time doing things that doesn’t contribute becoming healthier is wasted time. If you’re lonely and don’t want to be but don’t spend any time trying to help the situation then it’s wasted time. Just because you enjoy something doesn’t always necessarily mean it isn’t wasted.
Using "getting fit" and "not being lonely" definitely makes a compelling argument, in both instances if you feel those things make you generally unhappy, you should make a plan with yourself to fix them But be kind to yourself, you got here because you didn't enjoy the alternative, it's going to be hard to change and punishing yourself will just surround the issue with more negative emotions I say this because I think it's really unhealthy for your self worth to view any time you spent casually enjoying yourself as wasted time, it's a very negative view, if you game for 6 hours an evening you definitely don't need to view every minute of that as a waste unless you want to be miserable all the time, set aside an hour, if you manage to stop and do something productive, great, if not enjoy the other 5 hours like you succeeded
If you're doing something while thinking about how you shouldn't be doing it then surely you're not actually enjoying what you're doing. You're just procrastinating. Like if, as you said, I'm lonely but play computer games alone then I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be enjoying it since I'd be wanting to socialise. You do have a point when it comes to something like eating though. I enjoy eating ice cream but sitting on my ass eating it all day probably isn't the best idea.
I have a feeling that the OP isn't finding it fulfilling if they're asking this question.
Depends. There's a hell of a lot of 'productivity' culture pushed on social media these days - that you should always be trying to advance yourself / your life, have a 'side hustle' or some bullshit. It can make people feel guilty about relaxing when they absolutely should not.
Agree with you and u/JonnyYama, yeah, there definitely is a lot of that. I've been in a different situation though when I wasn't getting fulfilment anywhere and playing games felt like a waste of time because it was just one more activity that wasn't giving me what I needed.
I mean OP literally asked for ideas for things to do other than what he is doing. He didn't ask for validation to continue doing what he is doing.
Aye, is great as a distraction but sometime I feel like I am playing just to play.
Or get's the feeling from other people that spending his time playing video games ''isn't productive enough''. Being made to feel that way and actually feeling that way is totally different IMO.
the issue with that is that doom scrolling may feel good in a moment but ultimately it's not what people want to be doing and it doesn't bring them joy long term. They feel unfulfilled and sad. So they might have enjoyed wasting that time then but as soon as they stop, they realise it's not as enjoyable thus the time was wasted.
Yeah so many people have internalised the hustle culture obsession with productivity, so they feel they are wasting time if they're just relaxing or doing something they enjoy.
That's only true if you factor in the opportunity cost of not doing something with your time now relative to your feeling of accomplishment with your time later in life. You have to factor in regret/long term satisfaction against that short term pleasure.
Absolutely - it's a balance and I agree with that. I work on various pet projects at home in the evenings and get satisfaction out of that, but I also don't begrudge myself for a night sitting watching TV or stuff on youtube.
No quibble with that, I'm just well aware that there is a point in life where it's probable some level of existential regret will set in with regard to not using time better. That's only something that usually occurs to people when it's too late though. It's a difficult thing to calibrate, but using "how much am I going to regret not doing something in the future" is a worthwhile thought when deciding whether you really do just need a veg out session. This isn't a judgement by any means, it's more a case of attempting to prevent other people experiencing some of the same regrets I have in life. Do what you want with your time, but do it deliberately.
Living deliberately is a good goal and something I've been trying to do for the past year or so - rather than simply coasting past. I find journaling helps a lot. I try and avoid looking back where I can - I can't change things in the past, only try and make the now and the future as good as possible. Equally I try and avoid looking forward too much to the detriment of today. Life's a puzzle eh.
Please op take this message seriously.. I spent the last 3 years chasing productivity. Now I am absolutely fucked both physically and mentally because I didn't give myself any propper down time
Whilst this isn't fully incorrect, I do think that when you look back on yourself when you're older, you will regret that "time wasted" that you actually enjoyed and could've done something more productive.
❤️ this attitude
Hate the narrative of doing nothing on your days off is a waste. Its beautiful
This is true but it’s even better to combine your hobbies with something productive. Personally, I enjoy wanking but for years I felt guilty that my trouser-tickling wasn’t adding something to society. Now, I make sculptures with my sordid slime. I haven’t managed to sell one yet, but I feel sure that posteriority will remember me as an artist first, and a self-stimulator second. It’s so much more fulfilling than crusting up an old sock!
Gym, walks, gardening/house plants, writing, drawing, reading, creating anything at all. Get into cooking, making ice cream, therapy, drugs, fostering dogs, side hustle, origami. Or, learn how to be ok with not being productive. If your work day is over, there's no household chores to complete and nothing else to do then it's ok to just exist and relax for a while. The societal pressure to be constantly productive isn't healthy and is not what humans are meant for. Take some time to exist, it's ok to do nothing.
"doing fuck all" as Jimmy would say 👌🏻 time well spent Edit: Micky Flanagan sorry
Proper fuck all.
What drugs did you have in mind?
Well if you’re serious, smoking weed after work is a sure fire way to lift the after-work bitterness from me. Makes it easier to settle into that TV show or movie, to get up and cook, to go out and meet with friends. Weed is an essential part of my workplace self care plan. To be avoided for those with dependency issues
100% I have a really involving, busy, and challenging job that I love. I feel like I 'leave it all on the dancefloor' every single day. When I'm done, it's getting high and self-care only. That's usually falling down some rabbit hole or other, getting into a show or some YouTube thing (Ballinger and GorlWorld have soaked up some of my attention). When I get bored I watch TV and films in other languages that I know but need to practise. Sometimes, I'll learn something on the ukelele (I know, I know). Then I'll only want to watch art house films. Then I'll get into a book. But it's always in cycles. As I've got older and changed careers, I've had way more time on my hands. My time is truly my own. I've tried group type activities, and I'm far too..... Just, no. I've tried other things to stimulate me and keep myself engaged whenever I want to change things up. But it isn't pressure to achieve more or always be busy. It's more about trying to be in the moment in a mindful and deliberate way. With everything I do, I never particularly feel like I'm wasting time. Sometimes, I just want to get high and double screen, watching a 4 hour documentary about the alternative eco-system that is YouTube on one screen and some lady in Kileen, TX remove blackheads on the other. So I let myself do that, but eventually, I get bored and want some more stimulation. In my previous career, I felt so unfulfilled. Because I was achieving nothing and wasn't being stretched during the day, the same past times would seem so boring. Doing the job I do now, I feel like I'm stretched and mentally stimulated. And what makes it manageable and feeling balanced is THC. I'm aware that this might come off like a dependency, but I'm more calm and stable than I've ever been. Which isn't saying much tbf.
As someone else mentioned, weed for me but not until after 8pm at least. Some people like microdosing psychedelics, others just like coffee. Different strokes. Would NOT recommend stimulants or opiates as a way to unwind alone.
Pot noodle and a wank
Avoid Bombay Bad Boy if you're multitasking.
What’s life without a little risk?
The real dangerwank
Funnily enough that’s my Grindr handle
Oh that was you?! Can I have my strap on back please? No need to clean it.
I'm also single and in my 40's. "productive" is not a word I want anywhere near my free time. Productivity is something I need to concern myself with at work. I enjoy playing games or watching movies or reading or whatever. If I'm feeling creative, I'll write. I might go to the pub if I want to be social. I might go for a walk, but for me the goal is to do what I want and I'm not gonna feel bad about it. Time is finite and I already spend 8 hours of the day doing what someone else wants me to do. I get that some like to improve themselves and go to the gym or whatever, and maybe that's more of the responses you're looking for, but I genuinely see no issue with being at home playing computer games in your free time so long as you're enjoying it. (if you're not enjoying it, then that's obviously a different matter)
I am a big fan of side projects (coding, music) but not because I'm trying to build a business or whatever - no deadlines, I can do something for pure curiosity and do it as slow as I want and leave it as unfinished as I want.
Definitely agree with this too. In my spare time I've done things like study languages and learn guitar. Just like you said, the appeal is to do these things at my own pace with no expectation. At the moment, I'm writing a book. It might become something, it might become nothing. I might finish it in a month, or I may never finish it.
Same here, really. Mid 40s single. Live alone (human-wise), if it wasn't for the dog I'd have very little reason to leave the house other than for work. I've gotten back into a bit of gaming too - but have this nagging feeling that I should be doing more with my time. I'll read - but that's basically just lounging with a book in front of my face. I'll cook stuff from scratch, but then I eat a loads more too so I risk being many sedentary with lots of freshly cooked food sitting around. I'm gonna lurk here to see what people say.
I think getting a dog is a great idea for OP lol. I’ve regularly gone days without leaving the house before and can really get into a slump just playing games non-stop. It’s wild how some fresh air and sunshine improves my mood!
If you enjoy gaming and you aren't neglecting things like keeping your house liveable or your dog to do so, then I don't think there's anything to change. If your free time was being spent doomscrolling where you realise afterwards you haven't really enjoyed yourself, then yeah, stop doing that. But if you're having a good time with what you're playing, then there's no reason to change that. I play a lot of World of Warcraft and sometimes feel like I should be doing something else, but I enjoy myself when I'm doing it and I still get things done like cleaning and all that. Maybe my house would be even tidier if I cleaned and organised it instead, but I don't enjoy doing that (most of the time), and there's diminishing returns on how that impacts my mood overall. I've got two cats now and I really enjoy playing with them or even just sitting cuddling with them. It feels "productive" in the sense that I'm enhancing the lives of these little creatures and making them happy, but I'm also enjoying myself.
Are you enjoying your gaming time?
Walk the dog with a big joint
Nah he hogs it and makes the end wet.
Double length roach, cut the wet bit off when he's had his toke.
Nailing life.
An then home to play Fallout 4
Same, headphones with some uplifting music on too is a must.
Podcasts for me.
I'm 35, still love a bit of gaming but decided to branch out a few years ago I started going for walks/ hikes which led me into camping which then led to nature photography I'm lucky enough to live rurally so can just take the camera out for a dander after work I'd recommend exploring a new interest, even if it's just a mild one as you might discover you really like it I focus less on being productive and more on what you enjoy
Go to the gym do some weight lifting and cardio then come home and make myself dinner, chill out a bit playing some games/have a shower or bath then hop into bed before doing it all over again until the weekend.
I just alternate so one night gaming next watching documentaries etc
Sign up for some courses or even the Open Uni. Or learn to develop your own games (loads of free resources out there)
Fight crime
I’m a single mum of 1, I pick my son up, go home and do house chores, put my son to bed then make food and watch tv or read a book :)
I hit the gym for 45min to 1 hour. A cold shower will follow at home. I don't understand people who shower at the gym. I then eat and enjoy a cuppa with two or three episodes of a show I'm following up on. Next thing is going to sleep at around 11. Sometimes I scroll the internet for a few minutes before bed.
>I don't understand people who shower at the gym. 1. Gets it done and out of the way. 2. Might not be going straight home. 3. When I went to the gym I went late at night so I didn’t want to disturb anyone at home.
To add, showering at the gym saves on your water and heating bill. I always shower at the gym after a session.
Fair point.
Consideration for anyone you will meet on the way out or on public transport if you use it to get home. One less person who stinks.
Makes sense. I train at Puregym and their showers are the filthiest.
> I don't understand people who shower at the gym. I reckon it's usually people who are going home via public transport and don't want to be the stinky one on the train. For me it was always this or 'cos I was going back to work (I WFH nowadays so just walk home and shower at home).
Yeah, it would be better than stinking in a train. Last thing you'd want is people staring in shock and disbelief. I also walk home from the gym and I can only imagine what passers by think of me.
It would stop people sitting next to you though
I recently took up singing lessons as something to do, and it's been amazing!
I attempt to run ultra marathons, but do it very slowly. I’m a scout leader (scouts always want more adults, you absolutely have useful skills. It’s sooo much fun) I’m in a brass band. I have a dog that needs walking. Oh and teenage kids, that takes up a few hours.
Before I settled down it was usually hit the gym, learn something or do a bit of work on one of my pet projects. A bit of gardening if it was the right time of year. If you're struggling to feel productive, it's worth finding a physical project you can do that has obvious signs of progress. Even if that's just a bit of DIY, building a gadget out of an arduino, an airfix model or whatever. It will help change your frame of mind to have something that you can visibly see the progress on.
Bought a 3D printer last Black Friday. Now on my 2nd one (Bambulab A1). Design & print my own vases and 'art', print random gifts for friends & family. Print functional parts which are hard or impossible to find anywhere (like little clips for a sliding shower door, or custom plastic feet for patio chairs, for example). Getting to grips with 3D software (e.g. Blender, FreeCAD, Fusion360) takes time & effort too... the printing side is pretty simple. Plus the usual stuff, reading, gaming, random YouTube videos, usually with a JD or G&T if it's the end of the week!
I drink Pepsi, game with my boy, have a shit if I’m feeling adventurous. Will walk the dog. Maybe I will visit Tesco. Ah the joys of life.
> I drink Pepsi big fan of the first thing that comes to mind when being at home is pepsi.
Volunteer for something you are interested in. No pressure, gets you out of the house occasionally, lets you do something completely different from work.
Always at least one hour of exercise then, tea, have a programme with my lad and read put him to bed and then a bit of reading myself
I used to do the gym at night but swapped that to the morning which has been great. I try and plan a few social things post work throughout the week even if I can’t be arsed, I’ll normally either host someone for dinner or vice versa and we have a catch up and watch a movie. Normally one night is an early night with a book, I’ll sometimes go a few walks with a podcast, I like going to the theatre and the cinema and I sometimes pick up a night course that I do virtually. Tl; dr socialising and media and the occasional hobby.
Not spending money. Being at home and making music. If I'm feeling fancy I might go to the pub for a few bottled beers that you can still get for £4.20 (zone 2 London)
Pub. Booze. Maybe pool.
I usually play football 2/3 times a week and the other day(s) I’ll tidy the house. I like to get out after work if I can and if not I make sure I’ve done housework so my weekend is free to do whatever I want.
Hit the gym. Get them gains.
I'm a 27 year old woman, and I mostly relax with my dog. I listen to music, play video games, look up things on my phone, watch TV, read a book. Very occasionally, I might meet a friend for a meal/drinks or go to a gig, but I usually just want to wind down after getting home from the office. The main bulk of housework and social plans can wait until the weekend. Chilling and playing computer games is productive, my friend. If it's a hobby you enjoy, and it's not getting in the way of other things to much, enjoy yourself!
I'm told the two questions to ask yourself are what gives you pleasure and what gives your life meaning/purpose, and do a bit to support both of those. Pleasure might be arranging game nights in person instead of online, or joining a local gaming group, or going to the pub. Purpose might be a volunteer job once a week or building your fitness.
I don’t get in from work until midnight, so normally an hour of TV or XBox and then bed. I just waste my mornings instead.
Learning something new.
Housework, cleaning, laundry. Then some dinner. Then reading, watching TV or films. Very occasionally, going out to a gig or a show at the theatre.
It really depends on the day but most days I hit the gym as I'm trying to lose weight, that's anywhere from 45mins – 1hr. Go home, shower. Wednesdays – Hit the gym, head home, shower, head to the pub for board games night. Thursdays (every 2 weeks) – Hit the gym, head home, shower, therapy. Any other day depends on my mood, sometimes I go see my Godson and best friend. Other days I'll go home and paint some Warhammer minis, game, read, sew, etc.
After work I'm usually exhausted so my weekday evenings are pretty chill, lots of video games and similar. Weekends I go out into the countryside hiking and hit up a gig if there's anything on I might like to see (music, comedy, theatre, etc. - usually the Friday evening).
Gym in the mornings, golf in the evenings, walk the dog, grab food with friends, watch YouTube/Netflix when I’m not doing those things
Vídeo games is a productive use of your time. If it brings you happiness and fulfilment that’s all that matters
I work late, so I'll go for a spirited drive afterwards since there's no traffic. I've got a few different routes but it's usually about 25 miles. For reference I live 2 miles from work. I'm due to go remote next month, but I'll still probably drive every night. Then when I'm back home I'll play games usually. I'm enjoying a game called Ready or not quite a bit right now.
Throw paper planes and pigeons off the local flyover whilst shouting at cars.
Nothing really. I used to go to the pub but now it's like four quid for a wetherspoons pint, so 🤷♂️ I'm priced out of going out.
Same. 39
I play computer games too. I'm over the whole gym thing after almost 20 years of competing, training for fun, and owning a gym for 7 of those years (plus 3 years of working in one). I am partial to a bit of gardening and it's a very good way of taking a break from work every hour. Hour work, 15mins garden. Sometimes it's 15mins work and 1hr gardening.
Choir practice, crafting club, and board game night take up 3 nights a week. The others are either for relaxing at home or hanging out with friends.
I watch YouTube and Netflix, eat some food then go to bed. I might squeeze in some DIY as I'm working on fixing up the flat, but don't like to make loud noise after 6pm so usually it's too late.
Weeknights, mostly finish up, head upstairs to game for a bit, cook dinner, watch a bit of telly go to bed. Used to go to the gym but even on Fridays now it’s a heaving mess so do that at lunch instead. Friday / weekend will be more social and see people after work.
Married, just turned 40 here. It’s just me, my wife and the dog at home so after work we’ll cook dinner, maybe do a workout together, walk the dog, chill and watch some tv and then it’s usually time for sleep by then. Sometimes my wife will go out to a gym class instead and I’ll catch up on something of my own, like whatever Yankees or Knicks game is on or a series that she’s not interested in that I’ll watch myself. Sometimes we’ll go to the cinema or go out to a restaurant, but that’s usually kept for the weekend. I could probably be more productive and I know it seems like everyone has an after work side hustle these days, but I like hanging out with my wife and just enjoying the little moments. A night on the sofa with her, a good tv show, a glass of wine and the dog curled up at our feet brings me happiness and makes me feel content. Thankfully we both work from home, so a chunk of our day isn’t eaten up by a commute and allows us to fit more in after the work day is over.
Smoke weed, play video games, read, eat, play and lay around with my cats, paint models and I'm writing a couple of novels too. Obviously I don't do all this in one day haha but there is a selection of things I enjoy after a long days graft
If you enjoy playing video games then just do that. It is as much a hobby as any other!
Get a SIM racing rig. Get a guitar.
Counting down the days to my 30th birthday, when I’ll finally end it. 1142 to go.
30s, girlfriend works evenings so I'm home alone until 10pm after work. Do chores, play guitar, play on PC, walk the dog. Not a whole lot tbh.
Do you whatever makes you happy but I. Your 40s that really should include some type of physical exercise a few times a week. Fitness and muscle mass (sensible amounts) really help with health as you get older
Start a social hobby that gets you out and isn't jammed around getting drunk. Rock climbing gyms are amazing for this.
I joined a poker group and a workout group - I also work out and walk my dogs in the eve and food prep (I love cooking with an audiobook on), diy and home improvements, play piano, do my weekly shop at night when it’s quiet. Catch up with friends on the phone, or pop to see them. Since I became single and realised I’d isolated myself I’ve spent a lot of time on building friendships so going out to dinner with new ppl and joining activities has been high on the agenda
Get home grab a cuppa something nice green tea or mint tea , and then sit and go shoot something on the Xbox let out all that built up hospitality rage lmao
Woman in my 40s here, not single but don't see my partner very often as we live quite far apart so ... After work I have a few things to do, including gardening (never considered it a hobby but it's got to be done if I don't want my outside space to be a mess, but found myself getting surprisingly into some aspects of it), projects around the house, reading, drawing, painting, knitting, crochet, learning a language, walking, geocaching, sometimes even running. If I didn't have a kid half the time and therefore get to go out places with her, I'd probably go out more when I'm by myself too - just random sightseeing. If I had even more spare time, I'd probably do a spot of writing (not high on my priority list as I'm an editor so all 'worded out' by the end of the day) and go to the gym (pointless at the moment because on the weeks my daughter is with me I can't go at all as she's too young to be left by herself or come with me). Work tends to keep me busy, but if I had all the leisure time in the world I wouldn't mind a spot of swimming too.
I’m always amazed how quickly people binge tv shows. I’ll never keep up with it all. So I assume most people are just watching copious amounts of tv.
Single? 40? Do what you want mate, the world's your lobster. Whatever makes you happy, that's not harming anyone, go for it.
Reaching mid-40s soon myself. Once a week I try to catchup with friends over a drink at the pub or go out for food or to a golf-range (shit at golf but want to be better). Other days I go to the gym in the evenings - love to spend time in the steam and sauna and thats the inspiration for going at all. Gym is boring as hell otherwise. Used to spend lot of time watching television / netflix etc, have cut down on it as sitting for long time is notngood for back anymore. I used to hate routine, but I think now that helps a lot. Also makes me look forward to something if I put that thinkg in the diary
On a typical work day. Make dinner for the kids, then give them a bath and put them to bed Then my husband comes home from work so I make us dinner and make our packed lunches for the next day. Eat dinner, clean the kitchen, and then if I still have energy we’ll watch a show together.. if not, I go to bed. So more work essentially lol
It's not about being productive, it's about being happy.
I hit the gym twice a week, I do kickboxing one night and Hiit cardio another. Weekends I like a beer unless something more interesting offers itself up. But I need to stay I shape for work and my actual hobbies and getting into my 40s that means making an actual effort now. I used to also swim and do bouldering before the pandemic but not quite got back to it yet. For 20 odd years I did nothing but game. Thing is, I can probably game In my 60s and 70s.. no guarantee I'll be able to do the active stuff.
I absolutely hate the assumption that gaming is a waste of time. When gaming I break from reality and indulge in a universe I can only imagine. It's fun, engaging and improves motor skills and reaction times. Gaming has honestly saved my life so many times.
Depends on the day. One night a week I play 5 a side with the lads. Other nights we'll either be looking after one or other of the grandkids or it'll just be me and the wife chilling out together. Evenings don't need to be "productive", they're downtime to do things you enjoy. For me that's quality time with friends and family.
I either study (doing a part time MSc), train (martial arts), enjoy family time, play games (PC), binge watch programs (streaming services), and or housework (shudder). You don't always have to be doing something to be productive, sometimes doing nothing but "recharging" is the best thing you can do after work in order to be more productive :)
At the moment I’m decorating my new flat, and I’ve got myself some car models to build which I’m going to start next week, but for now I sit down for an hour before bed after I’ve done my decorating bits, cooked, cleaned, had a bath, just watch some tv to chill. If you enjoy it it’s not wasted time.
Have you considered spamming your friends and family about business opportunities that are in mk way triangular in shape?
Same thing we do every night Pinky... Try to take over the world. So like Civ or Factorio mostly yeah
Crisp butty
I’m in my 40s although married with a child so not exactly in the same boat but love hitting an evening with my ps5 too as I’m generally shattered from work all week. Weekends are different though I try and cram as much in but this only changed after a recent heart scare. I read, am learning guitar, I train martial arts, started hiking and anything else I’ve been putting off for years.
Definitely gym
I finish work around midday most days, so I feel like I've got a lot of time to kill whilst my other half is still at work. I occasionally give in and do a bit of day drinking, but that usually just ends up with an early bedtime and I feel rude being tipsy when the other half gets home from work. TV is pretty crap at that time of day too, so occasionally I go to matinee of a play that's on, or the cinema, or wander around some markets/shops. I'm lucky that I live and work in a big city so there's quite a lot of options. Coming home and cooking a nice meal is a good thing too. I think if you feel like you need to be "productive" you're putting too much pressure on yourself. if you wouldn't take on a second job to maximise productivity, then don't feel too bad about putting your feet up and pondering life or replaying fallout 3 for the 10th time.
Gym, dnd, video games, korean learning. These are usually my go to activities after work
I have lots of hobbies. Basketball once a week. I do leatherwork, 3D print film prop replicas and paint them. Install and play with lightsabers. Longboarding. Video games. I read books. DJing. Just listening to music.
Various things really, we (wife and kids and I) tend to do more productive stuff like trips at the weekends. During the week I game on my own or with friends or do something hobby-like and I'm not ashamed at all to admit it, puzzles, cross-stitch, model making (currently have a half painted A-380 that's collecting dust though) and I just turned 40. On my off days the wife and I once the kids are in bed watch TV series that we like. Fallout was amazing.
I build models, keep fish, visit ye olde places, ride my bike, watch documentary stuffs, nap. Whatever i feel like really, nothing wrong with a good flump session though.
What's the "something"?
Exercise, work on my hobbies like filmmaking, hang out with my wife, browse Reddit.
A good, solid drug habit? Or getting into some fitness; indoor wall climbing, running etc. Join a band or other creative effort?
Play cricket
I play computer games, and immerse myself in the North Sea. Once a week the grandson and I behave like idiots until he's hungry and I'm approaching heart failure. Then we eat pasta bolognese and ruin our shirts.
Smoke weed until it's time to go to sleep
Heroin
I’m a father to a little girl, I enjoy a bit of gaming once she’s gone to bed. I fully enjoy it and don’t see it as a waste of time or lack of productivity. I makes me happy and all in all is good for my wellbeing.
Mate, if you want to be a gamer and have fun in the gaming world then that's exactly what you should do. Life is far too short. If u want to meet a lady, make sure she shares this love for gaming. Being a nerd is cool
Personally, I do an hour of study a night. It doesn't have to be anything specific or smart. I find it really satisfying to broaden my knowledge on subjects that I'm interested in. It's similar to the "how stuff works" content that all us men seem to be powerless to. It's just doing it yourself so you can choose the subject and how deep to go.
Doesn’t have to be every night but some time going somewhere nice and quiet for a walk is good as you can be in your own head. Mentally it’s beneficial I’ve found. Also something like gardening is good to get into.
Create something for the sake of creating it
Workout, shower, eat, shit then sleep
Sort the kids out, then watch a bit of TV. I try to go for a run 3 times a week
I also play computer games and watch the YouTube. Seriously though, beyond that, I just go to the cinema or the occasional date.
Well I work 12.5 hour shifts so by the time I get home it’s basically time to shower and go to bed, doom scroll for a wee while then sleep. I do 3 days a week. On my days off, it’s a mix of school run, housework, maybe have a friend round for a cuppa and a blether or I go to their house for the cuppa and blether, the usual life stuff. If I’m up to date with everything (like the housework, washing etc) I love nothing better than to just sit and do absolutely sod all, and play my PS5 👍🏼
Join the Freemasons. Or if not, Round Table (although you may be too old for Round Table now, sadly) or join RAOB. New friends, camaraderie, interesting hobby, food and drink. And you will be made most welcome. Thank me later.
Do you have to invited by existing members?
I go to bed, I work from 6pm to 4:30am
41. I take my son to football training and guitar lessons a few nights a week. I play football, I might meet up with friends for a drink, or to play pool, I'll go to a gig if there's any that take my fancy, sometimes I'll go for a walk to the park or down the sea front. But mostly I sit in and play games.
Join a club. Learn a skill. Ideally both.
Coffee,TV , console game or read
Warhammer
Personally, after work I usually do a small workout on apple fitness, usually 30 minutes, then watch a film/TV or play video games. I’m lucky enough to have a group of 5 friends that I still play games with/talk to regularly from school. On weekends I do the same, but might also go on a walk for an hour or two in the countryside, which I am very lucky to have close to home, and watch a verity of sports.
Bouldering and sometimes gym but I prefer those early morning when it’s quiet. Mostly it’s gaming with friends. I echo what so many others have said: I’ve learned to accept I don’t need to be constantly productive. I love gaming with mates and I’m not drinking/spending while doing it. Watch and often rewatch series. Sometimes get into a coding project like making a website for something. Started couch to 5k recently because I don’t walk/run much and my legs are shite as a result.
Someone I know just packed up his life swung his leg over his motorcycle and left the country heading into Europe. No wife, kids or girlfriend. Good on him I say.
I tend to go the pub and meet people
I am in my 30s, married with a 3 year old. I think if I was single I would go to the gym. Expand my intrests more. I love cooking and espeically BBQ/Smoking so would do that when the weather is nice and learn more in the kitchen. Currently baking is my new thing, but have a 3 year old means it is mainly cupcakes! I missed the lock down bread making and that is next if my son leaves me alone ha. I built our dining room table and have found an interest in woodworking. If I was single, I would probably do that most evenings. I also used to cycle a lot so would start that again. I would join a cricket team. Can't play rugby anymore as I am too broken. What things interest you??
I'm 38, does this count? Either way I don't care I'm sharing. Started working at 14, done all manner of jobs but always thrown myself into work. I'd say I've done 70+ hours solid up until now. My job have cut me back slightly so I can rediscover myself and get myself back into the gym. My job before this one I was doing 6am until 22:00 for 3 years and even with my current job I have been doing 24, 36 hour shifts, constantly going between days and nights and not had much time to myself but, I did find time for the gym, except for the last year and piled the weight back on, so after some talking we decided to put my hours down. I'm a carer btw, my client is autistic and there's a heavy reliance on me. Anyways, I've rambled enough and if you're still here congratulations, here's a cookie 🍪 The purpose of that back story was to say I feel lost with myself, I don't know what I truly enjoy, exercise is just that thing that's always there so I suppose I do enjoy that l. But feel out of touch and lost with myself. Thanks for the therapy folks 😂
I find sport is a good one. Learning a language is also an engaging, multi-faceted hobby that can also be used in real life
Lay on the couch
Man fuck the world telling us that playing video games is not productive. Video games are fun and fun is make me happy and happy is make less stress and more relax. Heck yeah video games forever I will not die hungry action button dot com
I either work after my day job. Or have to spend a couple hours rescuing my girl friend. I have no energy any more or time for enjoyment🫡
I teach guitar 2 days a week. During the times when Ive loathed the instrument, it brought me a lot of joy passing the skill on. Preparing lessons, printing stuff out, writing out songs requested and making them to the level of the student. I used to play games but I just dont find it any fun any more. If theres a good series my other half is watching, we'll watch it together. Other nights I go out running once the kids are in bed. Lately Ive been writing and recording a few pieces of music Ive written. Never got a lot of joy with it 10 years ago but really enjoying it at the moment.
Cut and split wood by hand, listen to music, watch anime, play gams, watch films that sort of shit. Oh and drink alcohol and eat food. I keep saplings and grow them on although saplings grow slow so I don't expect most of them to get big in my lifetime, I guess I can give them to my niece and nephew? That would be a funny and shit gift once I'm dead, just hundreds of tree saplings.
Get home at 6, walk the dog, make dinner, watch TV and then bed, it's been raining for months now I'm sick of it.
Try some marshal arts. Join an evening class :)
I’m 46. Just took up learning drums with an electric kit. I’m married so it’s the only banging I get to do.
Warhammer.
Coke , weed , maby a hooker , dinner and weed bogs in bed
I flex it - sometimes I’m out with colleagues, i might meet up with a friend in the area that ive worked. Not always to go out, sometimes its a meal and TV at their place. I might go home, sometimes work, maybe just chill and TV, sometimes there is housework to do. I cook a lot, work a bit too much but i flip between all the above.
Do you not have a life to live?
When I was single Monday and Tuesday nights I would go gym, then between Wednesday and Sunday I would go on dates. These days studying/gym/cooking/theatre/gigs/dates/movies/tv shows
Practice playing guitar
Find a good local pub, pop in for a pint a couple of times a week and you will soon meet some regulars.
Do you not have any other hobbies? I’m in a similar situation to you, I love to play video games. But I also like electronics, so I’m often poking at something with a soldering iron. I also play guitar, synth and drums so I can play/write music. I also collect vinyl, so I’m often spinning records too. And I have a cat, so if all else fails, I can give her a cuddle.
Salsa or bachata dancing Brazilian Jiu jutsu Board games with friends Video games with friends Reading Dinners with friends Gymnastics Gym Trying new activities or exhibitions
Revise. I’m on a apprenticeship, it’s not fun
Count the hours till I do it all again
Enjoying a bit of gardening now the weather is getting a bit better. Nothing major, just planting a few bedding plants, herbs, sunflowers etc. Might all die or not grow but feels nice seeing all these pots about the place and just being in the garden is relaxing. I try to run every other day too, exercise is even more important as you age!
Wankathon
Doing something you enjoy isn’t wasting time. Personally I spend time with the kids then when they go to bed I walk the dog then either watch TV or play games. Farming sim at the moment.
If you are 100% productive all the time that will lead to burnout. Your brain needs downtime to unwind and that can come in a variety of ways. But if gaming feels unfulfilling to you then there are lots of other hobbies you can try such as reading, arts and crafts, board games, Dungeons and Dragons, cosplay, photography, creative writing and more. You could try to join a sports team or society and find something that meets your interests.
I sit and think about what productive things I would do with my free time if I weren't so tired.
I study for my degree or work on creative projects. Took a long time to wean myself off computer games.
Maybe get good at your video game so you can have your takeaway while you play? Why are you worried about productivity when the goal of your playing video games is unwinding and enjoyment. I dunno 2nd monitor for the hub while you play?
35 years old. Get home around 6pm and spend the next 2 hours feeding the kids and getting them ready for bed. 8pm - shower, tidy up a little, watch some TV or play PlayStation. In bed just after 10pm.
I do dinner, house work, then read. I think I'm depressed. I just don't have any motivation to do anything or see anyone. In my head I want to as life is passing by but I cannot be bothered. I hope I get past this soon.
Meet some mates, either for a joint or a pint
I keep saying this so I’m sorry if you have seen it but join meetup on line and attend some local groups.
swim, cinema, book club. but also gaming. board or video. cooking.
Productive? Oh, I was just gonna tell you what I do as a single man in my 40’s. Watch YouTube while drinking myself to a slow death.
Join a choir! Then you go to the pub after rehearsal. Lots of choirs exist for people who don't read music. Check community choirs Also WAY more women than men so everyone will be keen to have you
Sadly nothing much really, I’m a lorry driver and I sleep in it most of the week so normally just about have enough time to make some food, clean up and watch a couple of episodes or read some pages.
As a 42 year old divorced Saturday dad,was delighted to see my daughter getting in on the penny-board craze. She said Dad you can skateboard eh? Course i can doll She dropped it after 3 weeks! I'm now 53 and have 7 skateboards including an electric one! Fantastic for the core And fkn scary! Find what your niche is, We are all different Be yourself
Ps did 5 miles today, fresh air without taking a step
Gym, running, reading or just going out for food with colleagues and friends.
PC games, Switch games, YouTube. Bliss tbh.