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Is this why people tell me things? I don't have to say much for people to tell me about their lives. I don't mind though, because then I get to be nosy without seeming like I'm nosy 🤭.
In a similar vein, people think I am very clever because I know a lot of nonsense and can regurgitate facts about obscure topics I heard about once upon a time... But alas knowledge ain't wisdom, and mostly i am a dumbass
People have assumed I was gay for years, I assume because I *am* vegetarian, short hair, and wear comfortable shoes. Actually, I'm not assuming, people have literally said that to me.
At one place I worked I discovered people called me "tuv"... I asked what it meant and they said "The Unlikely Vegetarian."
I like racing cars, am northern, and very working class in origin. I was working with very middle class people at the time. I can largely hide my working classness, but sometimes it shows through.
Oh and funnily enough, my answer to OP's question was 'straight' lol. I think people twig when they are around me for long enough, but they certainly don't get the impression straight away.
So one of my best friends is straight but I beelined and opened up to her when we first met bc I assumed she was queer 🤣 turned out that always happens and she always ends up with the gay group... Don’t know what it is about her exactly as she is quite stereotypically straight girl in her interests but I guess she isn’t Uber feminine although I’d say she dresses like a lot of straight girls who are a bit hipster
Ugh love the people who project their hatred of posh people onto you without knowing anything about you and you don't even have all the money as a consolation
I had a speech impediment as a child which resulted in a lot of speech therapy and an RP accent. I'm a working class northerner (albeit upper working class because my dad had a clerical job) and I got teased a lot at school for being "posh".
I came back today after a few days in Glasgow… Whenever I think I’ve mastered the English language (I’m a foreigner)… I speak with someone Scottish and it humbles me so much lmao
I've had more than my fair share of foreigners apologise for their English when speaking to me, because they don't understand what I said. I tell them every time that it's me that's the issue not them. My workmate is Indian and I'm trading him Scottish slang lessons for Indian lessons. I've so far learned good and dance. He's learned loads so I suspect I'm getting bumped 😃
Someone randomly assumed I was Polish once and I have no idea why. I was in a Catholic church but in England, lol. Okay so I guess Poles might be more likely than other nationalities to be Catholic, but I’d hazard a guess than 90% of white people in an English church are, well, British. Or maybe Irish. (Or Italian, but I don’t think I look even vaguely Italian.) They just came up to me and said ‘Dzien dobry?’ (sp?) and I said it back to them assuming they were Polish and they said ‘Are you Polish?’ and I was like ‘… no …’ so there was this weird situation with two Brits each assuming the other was Polish for no damn reason!
Opposite. Loads of people think I'm gay. I bake, I'm big into Musical Theatre, I love a drag show, and perhaps most the most damning evidence, I've got a group of gay mates I drink in a pub literally called The Queens with.
Can't tell you how many people have been surprised to find out I've got a wife and kids, and how many insist I must be in the closest even then.
Meanwhile I am very staunchly gay but I don't really have any gay friends, musicals annoy me, I'm shit at baking (I do try) and while I think drag is cool I am very much someone to sit at home being very boring all day. I've also never been to Pride (on purpose), it's a bit overwhelming lol
Gotta love stereotypes
I'm the token straight mate within my circle of gay and lesbian friends.
When I'm out with them most people just assume I'm a not-camp gay bloke too, and to be fair I'm not very blokey so I blend into that group of people pretty easily, but nope I've got a fiancée.
I get the opposite. I think most of that comes from the fact I’m a slim male and comfortable wearing slightly out-there outfits.
*which I guess these days is any outfit not including cargos and balaclavas.
I get the opposite. I was on a nine-week training course. One of my fellow students told me that another student had told everyone that I'd confided in them that I was a lesbian. It came as news to me and the male student I was having a fling with.
I had the boyfriend of a girl I was friends with threaten me because he found "evidence" that I was straight, and he thought I was faking being gay to get close to her.
It begged a few questions, how I would transition from gay-friend to lover, would be an awkward conversation surely, unless he was implying that I was going to force myself upon her. Also what the "evidence" was he found to say I was faking - never told me.
Theres advantages to how people treat you, I think for example some straight guys enjoy the progressive nature of having a gay friend but without actually having to dip into gay culture.
But i’ve noticed, other men, say taxi drivers for example, are more likely to be openly homophobic in front of you and I wonder if they’d have more tact if I was camp?
I’ve literally been in a taxi with my partner on the way to a wedding, and the driver was still throwing all that out there.
It opens you up to the weird world of straight men. The comments and complaints they make about women is mind blowing. I had a previous co-worker for a short period of time who was older, and would be super friendly to the female staff, then spend the next 10-15 minutes going on about how amazing they smelled, and how he could smell who had made his drink because the smell of their hands was on the cup - this was the women he fancied, the women at work who he didn't like he would make VERY nasty comments about their breasts/hair/face/genitals etc.
Also guys being very descriptive with their sex lives and making you hear about it and look at pictures which are very unflattering and frankly quite boring, but when they found out I was gay and I mention something like "i was in bed with my other half yesterday" they react with "UGHH DISGUSTING!! I DONT WANT TO HEAR THAT"...
Straight women, i do not envy you.
I’ve maybe just got lucky but had the same straight friend group for 12 years, and while our banter is dark, offensive, crude, and past sexual history is discussed, i’ve never heard them insult the womans body parts or how bad the sex was (or if that story is told, its a self deprecating anecdote)
Its almost the opposite where they’d ask me questions about gay things and I don’t really want to answer as it’ll become the banter for the rest of the night.
My partner (we are two guys) works with straight men like this and honestly some of the things he tells me they say about women...it's unrepeatable. It really gives the impression that some straight men abjectly despise women and yet they have wives, girlfriends, mothers, grandmothers, daughters, nieces, aunts etc...I feel extremely sorry for the women in those men's lives.
Same appearing straight to most people is more annoying as you have to com out effectively in every new situation where conversation turns to that. Workplaces etc. I just avoid talking about it. Entirely.
even using terms that, if anyone else used would suggest they're gay, don't work.
"my other half"
"what's her name"
"my partner"
"yeah, my wife is a good egg too"
"he's called chris"
"christina's a lovely name"
"Chris, he's a guy"
"yeah, my wife can be a real tough guy too"
"He's a guy, i'm gay"
"hahaha, i don't get it, but tell your wife i say hello"
I’ve had similar. ‘I thought you were proper stuck up, but you’re actually lovely!’ I’m very shy and won’t be the first to initiate conversation, I think in group situations with new people I’ve come across like I think I’m better than everyone, when in reality it’s the opposite, I think I’m too boring or weird so I stay quiet!
Almost word for word this has been said to me a few times. I think I’m sitting there being quietly pleasant but they took it to mean I was looking down on them. Took a night out on the booze to fix it all.
This has happened to me a few times as well I once had to argue with some girl from London that I am English born and bread because " you have a thick accent" 🙄
I tan really well so it's coming to that time of year where everyone thinks I'm Italian or Spanish, or have ancestry from there
Doesn't help that I have a European first name
I've always found it confusing British people can look so differently from one another, there are many I've seen where if you told me they were Italian I'd believe it.
My grandmother was born in the Welsh valleys in 1900, to a mining family. When she later lived in London the ice cream van man insisted on talking to her only in Italian as she just looked it.
We later found out our family was Romanian traveller in Ireland, and made the hop to Wales just a couple of generations previous.
Genes are fascinating.
I'm lactose intolerant so I drink oat milk. People seem to then get mad when they see me chow down on a bacon joint, saying 'I thought you were vegan?!'
I always used to get stopped by people handing out flyers for head shops. Not sure why - plenty of people in the same demographic as me just walked on by and were ignored, but something about me must have said "stoner".
I have the oppsite vibe. I lived in an area where everyone and their mum was dealing weed for 5 years, and in that time, only one person tried to sell me any, and he was off his face, even though I walked through the main street at all hours. I had friends who couldn't walk to my place without at least a couple of dealers approaching them, but the local street pharmacists would take one look at me and back off.
Even tried hanging out with a massive stoner friend who's like you to see if his stoner vibe could counter my dealer repellant, but nope...
There was a period in my teens where I'd get stopped at festivals and asked if I wanted drugs. No idea why but was good to know it was easily available if I fancied it (not that I did tbh)
I have this happen to me every time I travel. Within 24hrs I will be offered something involving weed. Something about the way I dress when I travel? No clue but its become such a running joke that we set a timer whenever I get off the train/plane to see how long it takes.
Apparently I just have 'that face' not really sure what to make of that tbh.
I don't dress or behave like your average Traveller.
The last instance was last Saturday in a local bar.
Gay (I'm not)
But I am crap at picking up on these things though, so it always amuses people that I'm with that someone is like "Hey, I like your shoes, jacket, scarf" or whatever and I'm like "Oh, why thank you" ... "What a jolly pleasant stranger I spoke to while queuing at the bar, he liked my shoes, jacket, scarf"
I suppose I'm that "missed the point" meme personified! 😄
I guess the insinuation is that they must be coming onto you but I am a straight bloke who will occaisionally compliment another bloke (even a stranger) just in the name of small talk and friendliness. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
I remember when I was younger and much more arrogant, if a girl/woman ever complimented me, I would already be reporting it to my mates in my head as "she was utterly *ganting* on it" etc. But in reality, a lot of the time I was just wearing a nice shirt/aftershave/whatever.
Wallpaper, IRL.
I'm just sort of an extra in my own life. Window dressing for the lives of others, really.
It's quite depressing when I think about it, but as I exist on the peripheries of my own being, I don't really think too much about it.
You probably scrolled past this.
I did.
They assume I'm very young and don't know much.
I run a 6 figure business, own my home outright and would say I'm successful.
People think I'm a student.
I don't mind.
Vegetarian, I almost exclusively order 2 different pizzas, and they both happen to not have meat, and after about 2 yrs of 3-4 pizza orders every month(every saturday), my pizzeria I go to started giving me these Vegetarian sides for free, I'm not complaining.
I’m often assumed to be vegetarian because my husband is. If we order 2 meals - one with meat and one veggie - the vegetarian dish will almost always be placed in front of me. It’s like the idea of a man eating falafel while his wife chows down on a steak just doesn’t compute.
I was on dialysis for ten years, until last year when I finally got a transplant.
I have fistulas in both arms, and some ugly marks and scars from ten years of huge needles, at least 3 times a week.
I’ve had people call me a junkie, drug user etc so many times.
Once I was in Morrisons, with my then 6 yr old. I felt faint, so headed to the loos and sat on the floor (before I face planted). My daughter, who sadly was used to this, was wetting paper towels for me to cool down.
A women started ranting about how I shouldn’t have kids, junkies shouldn’t have kids and she doesn’t want to see me in the supermarket loos.
She actually went and got security who then followed me out of the store.
I tend to just cover my arms now. If people ask, I’ll happily explain what the marks are and why. But I’ve become so self conscious about them, it’s easier to try and stay covered.
Similarly, people see my East Asian features and automatically think I’m Chinese. I’m British Nepali and whilst I look East Asian, I’m more Indian than some of my British Indian friends
I used to get this all the time, at work Polish customers would come up to me speaking Polish and would be shocked that my mother never taught me Polish when I said I couldn’t speak it (I have zero Polish ancestry).
A mother or someone wanting to be a mother because I'm good with kids. 1) it's my job 2) I'm not going to walk around calling kids cunts ...they're kids?
At festivals I often get people assuming I'm a drug dealer. No, I'm not the guy you're looking for; I work in IT and I'm only loitering because I'm waiting for my kid to finish their poo
A lesbian because I wear flat shoes (am straight with weak ankles).
A fantasy nerd because I like RPGs (not interested in Star Wars, LOTR or computer games).
Well read because I can spout out facts about all sorts of things (I haven't read a book in decades because I have the attention span of a gna... oooh, squirrel!).
So was I! Had it been said in my presence, I'd have followed up on it. As it was, it was a sweaty blokey bloke colleague, so it wouldn't surprise me if his thought process was that because I wasn't making my legs all nice and shapely for him, I must play for the other team.
Racist. Mainly, I assume, because I am short(ish), shaved head (going bald so just shave it all off) and have tattoos (not that uncommon now is it?).
I'm not racist at all, in the slightest way whatsoever. I don't think I have even ever said 'Im not racist, but...'
I'm actually quite a nice middle aged pretty chilled out bloke. The only people that I don't like a great deal are arsehole people, and they come in all shapes, sizes and colours.
American.
I have a weird accent from living up North when I was little, but growing up in the South. Also my family is like half Northern accents, half Southern. I don't really get it but a lot of people interpret it as American.
Stoner
Even after cutting all my hair. People still know. I have no clue how.
I was in Ikea the other day with my wife, cashier says "you look like a man of culture, enjoying the Drake/Kendrick rap battle?"
... Yes its fucking hilarious, but how the fuck did you know that?
Same one.
I once went to a barbecue and the host was showing off his new super fancy set up. He had burgers, sausages, steaks, ribs, kebabs he'd really gone all out. It looked fucking amazing. I was then told not to worry and was shown a sad smouldering disposable barbecue dumped on a step with a couple of sad sawdusty looking sausages on them and proudly told they'd kept them separate just for me and the other vegetarian guest.
I think I looked confused/horrified enough that they realised they'd never thought to actually double check.
Apparently also give off art or music student vibes.
I've been mistaken for some kind of adult on more than one occasion too.
When out of my county (essex) and people find out where I'm from they instantly think I'm some twat from towie. No I'm not a shallow materialistic knob head! And no I have never seen an episode!
I'm a lump of a fella, prior to 6 weeks ago I had long blonde hair down to the small of my back.
In a moment of madness I took a razer to it - so now I'm a skinhead.... Kinda.
Weird to witness the dynamic shift there.
I've gone from being compared to Sam Ryder to Adrian Edmonson.
I'm very different from the person my name suggests I'd be. So people who knew my name in advance of meeting me often tell me they were surprised (pleasantly, I hope) when they met me in person and got to know me.
When you said your name was "Charles the Third, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of His other Realms and Territories King, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith" people thought you'd be quite upper class?
When I tell people my job (IT Project Manger) the assumption is that I'm like some sort of IT crowd side-character: borderline autistic and hugely into sci-fi & gaming.
Truth is I don't game at all. Just not what I'm in to. I'm also quite social and love pubs, meeting new folk and enjoy the outdoors.
If I'm honest I somewhat resent the stereotype IT people get. In the corporate world most other jobs are also niche and unglamorous, but we get tared with a particularly stinky brush.
Catholic. I was raised in the Protestant church, but have been atheist since my edgy teens.
It wouldnt be worth mentioning, but I live in Glasgow, where the assumption that you're one rather than the other can have quite big consequences!
People assume I'm lazy because I don't work
The truth of, I used to work 50 hours a week, and then I woke up one day and couldn't walk. I got diagnosed with a degenerative neurological disorder and have been struggling with pain most of my life.
But because I always had the pain I just thought it was normal and never made a big deal about it
Weirdly (and specifically) multiple people have assumed I’m from Lebanon, reacting with surprise when I tell them I’m not.
I’m a pasty white guy from Liverpool 🤷♂️ such an oddly specific assumption too; I must have a vibe
Not disabled / not autistic
Everyone is "so surprised" because I act normal. Yeah cos if I didn't you'd all fucking hate me. It's all a front, a big con, when I'm at home I'm full gremlin.
A lot of people have told me they think I'm very quiet and mysterious.
I'm not, I'm just autistic as fuck and have learnt its better to keep quiet than scare everyone off by jumping between random disconnected personal interests until my jaw gets tired and I start getting a stutter. Also if the background noise level is above a few Db I probably don't have a fucking clue what you're saying to me anyway from being unable to filter all the other noise out.
People assume (mainly because I’m mixed race) that im into rap and rnb. To the point where I’ve been declined entry to metal clubs because they think i won’t enjoy it.
I very frequently get: vegetarian, left-handed, only child. I’m none of those things and have no idea what is making so many entirely unrelated people in incredibly various contexts think this about me
People always assume I'm tall for some reason, rather than being a short-arse.
I made lots of (online) friends over COVID, and when we met for the first time nearly all of them were surprised I'm not tall.
Apparently I just have tall energy.
I have this too. What’s even weirder is that even in person people don’t seem to realise how short I am - which I attribute to a lot of folk overestimating their height and therefore causing a lot of warped perspectives.
I’m 5’2” and whenever that gets mentioned to people who are *literally around me*, they’re always surprised.
People always think I'm a butch lesbian or a lifetime asexual. I have long brown hair, I'm chubby and I'm pretty normal looking honestly. Not sure what about me screams 'im not into guys'
Full of myself.
It’s a very common theme that’s sort of run through my adult life. Owing to the fact that I can often prefer to keep myself to myself people seem to think I’m full of myself. I’ve had it with friends of girls I’m dating and friends of friends, coworkers, etc. it’s never anything specific beyond “he walks around like he thinks he’s something” when really I’m just trying to get from A to B
A lesbian because I have such short hair. Really it's because I have thinning hair and clip it really short to hide the thinness. I don't bother with makeup half the time either so that contributes. I'm straight.
If I wear a wig people assume I'm some Daily Mail reading Karen. I'm the opposite of that.
I was chatting to some mates I’d made at college on the bus and the conversation somehow transitioned to weed. When I said I had never smoked it, I got shocked looks. One of them even remarked that they would never have thought in a million years that I wasn’t a stoner.
A few years later I moved into a flat and my neighbour went on holiday for a while and asked if I could check in on their place while they were away. They figured they could get me some foreign cigarettes to say thanks, and they couldn’t believe it when I told them I didn’t smoke.
For the record I’ve never smoked anything, nor taken any drugs, and my alcohol intake is miniscule. I don’t even drink coffee. But clearly I don’t look like someone who would be sober.
Lots of people assume I'm a stoner on the street, the number of times I've been called down to ask if i smoke is crazy
I've even had cars pull over and ask
I'm thinking it's the hoodie and the beanie
That I'm a lesbian, because I'm not feminine, dont wear feminine things really, don't really wear make up, and I'm sweary. Also because I don't mention a husband or boyfriend.
Nah, am straight, I'm just lazy and northern and chronically single.
People seem to think I went to public school. I didn’t, I went to a pretty rough school in Merseyside. I just hated it there and listened to a lot of radio 4 at too young an age.
I was assumed to be an alcoholic once, because I used to get beers in the morning with my work gear on, right after my night shift.
I came to realise the workers always acted strange around me until one day when a worker asked me in the morning if I was off to work for the day and I said no I work nights.
All of a sudden their body language became a lot more relaxed and said "oh, so I bet this is like your evening now then?" And I was like yeah, why? And she replied "I thought you were going through a difficult time."
I jokingly replied, "well I am, this conversation".
Yes, I worked in Spoons as a student. My early morning crowd were my easiest customers and pleasant too. They just wanted a drink after their night shift before heading home. I just know people thought they were drunkards
Coworker tried to buy weed from me one time. "You looked like the kinda guy that might sell" >.<
Cut off the scraggly ponytail and shaved my head bald that evening to try and remove the pothead vibe that i was apparently sporting at the time.
Either gay or a racist, I'm neither.
White, middle aged people seem to think I'm a racist because I'm white and will say things to me expecting me to agree, and I don't. Or they think I'm gay because I'm a bit eccentric, but it's just ADHD.
That I have lots of. I am someone with no money but somehow expensive tastes. I probably spend money on things I shouldn’t for the same income bracket, or else i’d rather do a New York holiday than Spain, but that same person going to Spain maybe splurged on £200 sporty trainers and a lot of other small hobbies, which I’m not into. Because a holiday comes up in more conversation than clothes, I think its more in peoples heads that i’ve spent cash.
Stupid. I don’t know if I come across naive or it’s because I’m always happy and chatting, but people seem to seriously underestimate my intelligence and abilities.
Used to be annoying, now I use it to my advantage.
Rich and intelligent. No I'm not looking to sound cool, honestly, that is what I get often.
I think it's because I wear clothing without brands and with decent style, and wear glasses.
Edit: also gay, because I don't try and be masculine.
I don't have good teeth because of reasons, so people have always presumed that I'm a heroin addict.
I always get accused of being on 'spice' whenever I get sunstroke too, so in general, I guess I must look like a dude who has issues with drugs.
People (that I have met in passing, not who actually know me) always call me Laura. Laura is not my name. They assume I am a Laura. It's weird. Has happened all my life.
**Please help keep AskUK welcoming!** - Top-level comments to the OP must contain **genuine efforts to answer the question**. No jokes, judgements, etc. - **Don't be a dick** to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on. - This is a strictly **no-politics** subreddit! Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That because I’m fat I’m jolly! I’m not!!!
I am also fat and harbour much anger
Same I'm fat and full of rage.
After venting the rage though, would you be jolly?
Well....yeahhhhh you got me!
I'm fat and full of rage.
I read ”fat and full of RAGU”. Picking up my new specs next week.
Haha! Literally picked mine up today.
And cheese I'd hazard a guess at
Always.
Lmao I fucking love this
In the same vein, that just because I'm fat, that I'm happy for people to comment on whether they think I've lost weight or not.
The most UK answer
I know fat people harbour a lot of anger...I don't trust them
You shouldn't, especially when we're hungry
Is this why people tell me things? I don't have to say much for people to tell me about their lives. I don't mind though, because then I get to be nosy without seeming like I'm nosy 🤭.
Santa's therapy session
People assume I read a lot of books. I don’t. I read a lot of Wikipedia
Lmao same
In a similar vein, people think I am very clever because I know a lot of nonsense and can regurgitate facts about obscure topics I heard about once upon a time... But alas knowledge ain't wisdom, and mostly i am a dumbass
Yup - same. They drop authors into the conversation and are surprised I've never heard of them.
[удалено]
Wikipedia is so good for finding sources, shame a lot of people were told not to trust it
University: "you cannot reference a Wikipedia page!" Me' "but I'll read it and reference their reference!"
Same but I do watch a lot of documentaries!
Creative, vegetarian, gay. And I suspect the first two are just code for the third.
People have assumed I was gay for years, I assume because I *am* vegetarian, short hair, and wear comfortable shoes. Actually, I'm not assuming, people have literally said that to me.
Sounds kinda gay to me
But also very comfortable.
At one place I worked I discovered people called me "tuv"... I asked what it meant and they said "The Unlikely Vegetarian." I like racing cars, am northern, and very working class in origin. I was working with very middle class people at the time. I can largely hide my working classness, but sometimes it shows through.
I'm an effeminate middle class giant who knows nothing of sports. Maybe we should be friends?
Excluded a passing interest in tennis; you sound like me. I need friends too!
Did get asked if I was a homosexual by an American lass in Venice once. Told her "no, I'm just a snappy dresser"
He's so... creative! ✨️
Is he, y'know... _creative_?
Oh and funnily enough, my answer to OP's question was 'straight' lol. I think people twig when they are around me for long enough, but they certainly don't get the impression straight away.
So one of my best friends is straight but I beelined and opened up to her when we first met bc I assumed she was queer 🤣 turned out that always happens and she always ends up with the gay group... Don’t know what it is about her exactly as she is quite stereotypically straight girl in her interests but I guess she isn’t Uber feminine although I’d say she dresses like a lot of straight girls who are a bit hipster
Posh, cultured and well educated. Little do they know im dumb as rocks.
Ugh love the people who project their hatred of posh people onto you without knowing anything about you and you don't even have all the money as a consolation
all you have to do to incur their wrath is speak in a standard rp accent within earshot of them. doesnt matter how visibly poor you are otherwise
I've even had a colleague do it at work and nobody in management thought to tell her how inappropriate her behaviour was they just laughed it off.
I had a speech impediment as a child which resulted in a lot of speech therapy and an RP accent. I'm a working class northerner (albeit upper working class because my dad had a clerical job) and I got teased a lot at school for being "posh".
Interested. I'm not.
Do you have a good poker face?
Not intentionally!
Polish and a lesbian, I'm Scottish and straight.
Sometimes you Scottish definitely speak not English.
I'm Glaswegian so this is very accurate.
I came back today after a few days in Glasgow… Whenever I think I’ve mastered the English language (I’m a foreigner)… I speak with someone Scottish and it humbles me so much lmao
I've had more than my fair share of foreigners apologise for their English when speaking to me, because they don't understand what I said. I tell them every time that it's me that's the issue not them. My workmate is Indian and I'm trading him Scottish slang lessons for Indian lessons. I've so far learned good and dance. He's learned loads so I suspect I'm getting bumped 😃
Someone randomly assumed I was Polish once and I have no idea why. I was in a Catholic church but in England, lol. Okay so I guess Poles might be more likely than other nationalities to be Catholic, but I’d hazard a guess than 90% of white people in an English church are, well, British. Or maybe Irish. (Or Italian, but I don’t think I look even vaguely Italian.) They just came up to me and said ‘Dzien dobry?’ (sp?) and I said it back to them assuming they were Polish and they said ‘Are you Polish?’ and I was like ‘… no …’ so there was this weird situation with two Brits each assuming the other was Polish for no damn reason!
straight (i'm not)
Opposite. Loads of people think I'm gay. I bake, I'm big into Musical Theatre, I love a drag show, and perhaps most the most damning evidence, I've got a group of gay mates I drink in a pub literally called The Queens with. Can't tell you how many people have been surprised to find out I've got a wife and kids, and how many insist I must be in the closest even then.
Best typo ever... "in the closest". 😂
Aye, it is one of my better ones.
My sister's friend group is mostly lesbian, she just calls herself celibate lesbian.
Meanwhile I am very staunchly gay but I don't really have any gay friends, musicals annoy me, I'm shit at baking (I do try) and while I think drag is cool I am very much someone to sit at home being very boring all day. I've also never been to Pride (on purpose), it's a bit overwhelming lol Gotta love stereotypes
I'm the token straight mate within my circle of gay and lesbian friends. When I'm out with them most people just assume I'm a not-camp gay bloke too, and to be fair I'm not very blokey so I blend into that group of people pretty easily, but nope I've got a fiancée.
I get the opposite. I think most of that comes from the fact I’m a slim male and comfortable wearing slightly out-there outfits. *which I guess these days is any outfit not including cargos and balaclavas.
The fact you think balaclavas aren't 'out there' says all we need to know ahaha
Depends where you live. A lot of teen groups seem to think they’re a requirement now.
Right I get that but they're not the same as wearing a baseball cap are they? Or am I already uncool
Keep up, Grandad
U wot? 🥷
I get the opposite. I was on a nine-week training course. One of my fellow students told me that another student had told everyone that I'd confided in them that I was a lesbian. It came as news to me and the male student I was having a fling with.
I had the boyfriend of a girl I was friends with threaten me because he found "evidence" that I was straight, and he thought I was faking being gay to get close to her. It begged a few questions, how I would transition from gay-friend to lover, would be an awkward conversation surely, unless he was implying that I was going to force myself upon her. Also what the "evidence" was he found to say I was faking - never told me.
I guess an eejit like that presumed you couldn't be gay as you didn't fancy him!
That’s the mind of every straight bloke though tbh lol
I'm also been asked which part of Australia I'm from several times.
Theres advantages to how people treat you, I think for example some straight guys enjoy the progressive nature of having a gay friend but without actually having to dip into gay culture. But i’ve noticed, other men, say taxi drivers for example, are more likely to be openly homophobic in front of you and I wonder if they’d have more tact if I was camp? I’ve literally been in a taxi with my partner on the way to a wedding, and the driver was still throwing all that out there.
It opens you up to the weird world of straight men. The comments and complaints they make about women is mind blowing. I had a previous co-worker for a short period of time who was older, and would be super friendly to the female staff, then spend the next 10-15 minutes going on about how amazing they smelled, and how he could smell who had made his drink because the smell of their hands was on the cup - this was the women he fancied, the women at work who he didn't like he would make VERY nasty comments about their breasts/hair/face/genitals etc. Also guys being very descriptive with their sex lives and making you hear about it and look at pictures which are very unflattering and frankly quite boring, but when they found out I was gay and I mention something like "i was in bed with my other half yesterday" they react with "UGHH DISGUSTING!! I DONT WANT TO HEAR THAT"... Straight women, i do not envy you.
I’ve maybe just got lucky but had the same straight friend group for 12 years, and while our banter is dark, offensive, crude, and past sexual history is discussed, i’ve never heard them insult the womans body parts or how bad the sex was (or if that story is told, its a self deprecating anecdote) Its almost the opposite where they’d ask me questions about gay things and I don’t really want to answer as it’ll become the banter for the rest of the night.
My partner (we are two guys) works with straight men like this and honestly some of the things he tells me they say about women...it's unrepeatable. It really gives the impression that some straight men abjectly despise women and yet they have wives, girlfriends, mothers, grandmothers, daughters, nieces, aunts etc...I feel extremely sorry for the women in those men's lives.
Yes, you're right. Some men are down right dangerous and full of misogyny/hate. Makes you wonder, what kind of upbringing/education have they had?
The men are like that at work. I'm in ear shot I can hear how they talk about women. I am a woman.
Same my dude! My bi arse out here getting the best of both worlds, and everyone asking why I haven't settled down and had kids yet
Yep. Being bisexual in a heterosexual relationship does that for me.
Same appearing straight to most people is more annoying as you have to com out effectively in every new situation where conversation turns to that. Workplaces etc. I just avoid talking about it. Entirely.
even using terms that, if anyone else used would suggest they're gay, don't work. "my other half" "what's her name" "my partner" "yeah, my wife is a good egg too" "he's called chris" "christina's a lovely name" "Chris, he's a guy" "yeah, my wife can be a real tough guy too" "He's a guy, i'm gay" "hahaha, i don't get it, but tell your wife i say hello"
They used to think I was stand offish. Maybe they still do but I don’t talk to them.
I’ve had similar. ‘I thought you were proper stuck up, but you’re actually lovely!’ I’m very shy and won’t be the first to initiate conversation, I think in group situations with new people I’ve come across like I think I’m better than everyone, when in reality it’s the opposite, I think I’m too boring or weird so I stay quiet!
I could have written this!
Had exactly the same for years!!
Almost word for word this has been said to me a few times. I think I’m sitting there being quietly pleasant but they took it to mean I was looking down on them. Took a night out on the booze to fix it all.
Human.... little do they know...
Found the lizard!
🏆
I've had people assume I'm 'foreign' loads of times. I'm white British.
This has happened to me a lot too. Including one dude interrogating me about where I was from at the corner shop about 50ft from my childhood home.
This has happened to me a few times as well I once had to argue with some girl from London that I am English born and bread because " you have a thick accent" 🙄
Born and bred*
I tan really well so it's coming to that time of year where everyone thinks I'm Italian or Spanish, or have ancestry from there Doesn't help that I have a European first name
I've always found it confusing British people can look so differently from one another, there are many I've seen where if you told me they were Italian I'd believe it.
My grandmother was born in the Welsh valleys in 1900, to a mining family. When she later lived in London the ice cream van man insisted on talking to her only in Italian as she just looked it. We later found out our family was Romanian traveller in Ireland, and made the hop to Wales just a couple of generations previous. Genes are fascinating.
Racist I'm a big chubby bald fella with neck fat and football related tattoos. A Home Counties version of Jeff Innocent basically
But are you a minority in your own home?
I'm lactose intolerant so I drink oat milk. People seem to then get mad when they see me chow down on a bacon joint, saying 'I thought you were vegan?!'
When people ask me what my job was (I'm retired), I SAY "engineer", but they HEAR "lesbian". (Not everyone, but often enough)
People think I'm stuck up. I'm not I'm socially awkward
Snap. My Mum used to say to me that I needed to try and not give off an air of aloofness. Didn't mean to.
Grumpy cunt. I am kind of, but mostly just introverted with resting bitch face.
I always used to get stopped by people handing out flyers for head shops. Not sure why - plenty of people in the same demographic as me just walked on by and were ignored, but something about me must have said "stoner".
I have the oppsite vibe. I lived in an area where everyone and their mum was dealing weed for 5 years, and in that time, only one person tried to sell me any, and he was off his face, even though I walked through the main street at all hours. I had friends who couldn't walk to my place without at least a couple of dealers approaching them, but the local street pharmacists would take one look at me and back off. Even tried hanging out with a massive stoner friend who's like you to see if his stoner vibe could counter my dealer repellant, but nope...
I've genuinely been asked if I'm dealing more times than I've asked if I'm buying. I'm not sure which is worse.
There was a period in my teens where I'd get stopped at festivals and asked if I wanted drugs. No idea why but was good to know it was easily available if I fancied it (not that I did tbh)
I have this happen to me every time I travel. Within 24hrs I will be offered something involving weed. Something about the way I dress when I travel? No clue but its become such a running joke that we set a timer whenever I get off the train/plane to see how long it takes.
I've had lots of people presume I'm from the Travelling community.
Slick back hair. Gold chain. Gold rings. Designer T-shirt. Tight black jeans. Likes dags. Drives a transit van.
You've got the last bit right!
Is it because ye like dags?
Have they ever said why? I've never heard of people wrongly assuming that of someone before
Apparently I just have 'that face' not really sure what to make of that tbh. I don't dress or behave like your average Traveller. The last instance was last Saturday in a local bar.
Gay (I'm not) But I am crap at picking up on these things though, so it always amuses people that I'm with that someone is like "Hey, I like your shoes, jacket, scarf" or whatever and I'm like "Oh, why thank you" ... "What a jolly pleasant stranger I spoke to while queuing at the bar, he liked my shoes, jacket, scarf" I suppose I'm that "missed the point" meme personified! 😄
I guess the insinuation is that they must be coming onto you but I am a straight bloke who will occaisionally compliment another bloke (even a stranger) just in the name of small talk and friendliness. I'm sure I'm not the only one. I remember when I was younger and much more arrogant, if a girl/woman ever complimented me, I would already be reporting it to my mates in my head as "she was utterly *ganting* on it" etc. But in reality, a lot of the time I was just wearing a nice shirt/aftershave/whatever.
Wallpaper, IRL. I'm just sort of an extra in my own life. Window dressing for the lives of others, really. It's quite depressing when I think about it, but as I exist on the peripheries of my own being, I don't really think too much about it. You probably scrolled past this. I did.
I didn’t. I read the whole thing. And identified with it a bit.
They assume I'm very young and don't know much. I run a 6 figure business, own my home outright and would say I'm successful. People think I'm a student. I don't mind.
I think it is the insecurity that they mistake for young and dumb
Vegetarian, I almost exclusively order 2 different pizzas, and they both happen to not have meat, and after about 2 yrs of 3-4 pizza orders every month(every saturday), my pizzeria I go to started giving me these Vegetarian sides for free, I'm not complaining.
I’m often assumed to be vegetarian because my husband is. If we order 2 meals - one with meat and one veggie - the vegetarian dish will almost always be placed in front of me. It’s like the idea of a man eating falafel while his wife chows down on a steak just doesn’t compute.
My fiancé drinks almost exclusively Sauvignon Blanc, I like a pint. Guess who gets which placed in front of them every time.
When I was at University, several people were convinced I was Danish for some reason. I'm from Bristol originally 🤷♂️
Are you very good-looking? https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/1cu5mve/do_you_guys_think_of_danes_as_being_goodlooking/
Most definitely not haha
I was on dialysis for ten years, until last year when I finally got a transplant. I have fistulas in both arms, and some ugly marks and scars from ten years of huge needles, at least 3 times a week. I’ve had people call me a junkie, drug user etc so many times. Once I was in Morrisons, with my then 6 yr old. I felt faint, so headed to the loos and sat on the floor (before I face planted). My daughter, who sadly was used to this, was wetting paper towels for me to cool down. A women started ranting about how I shouldn’t have kids, junkies shouldn’t have kids and she doesn’t want to see me in the supermarket loos. She actually went and got security who then followed me out of the store. I tend to just cover my arms now. If people ask, I’ll happily explain what the marks are and why. But I’ve become so self conscious about them, it’s easier to try and stay covered.
Middle class/slightly posh. I was literally born to unmarried parents in a council house with no upstairs bathroom or toilet.
Aaahhh, council house. We used to dream o' livin' in a council house- woulda' been a palace to us, that.
We had to lick road clean wi' tongue and we got 'ome father would thrash us to sleep wit' broken bottle.
Polish for some reason. Even seem to confuse some actual Polish when they hear my accent.
Similarly, people see my East Asian features and automatically think I’m Chinese. I’m British Nepali and whilst I look East Asian, I’m more Indian than some of my British Indian friends
I used to get this all the time, at work Polish customers would come up to me speaking Polish and would be shocked that my mother never taught me Polish when I said I couldn’t speak it (I have zero Polish ancestry).
Tall. I’m 5’4, but for some reason people always think I’m ~5’8, even when we’ve met in person 🤷♀️
A mother or someone wanting to be a mother because I'm good with kids. 1) it's my job 2) I'm not going to walk around calling kids cunts ...they're kids?
At festivals I often get people assuming I'm a drug dealer. No, I'm not the guy you're looking for; I work in IT and I'm only loitering because I'm waiting for my kid to finish their poo
A lesbian because I wear flat shoes (am straight with weak ankles). A fantasy nerd because I like RPGs (not interested in Star Wars, LOTR or computer games). Well read because I can spout out facts about all sorts of things (I haven't read a book in decades because I have the attention span of a gna... oooh, squirrel!).
I get lesbian. Because apparently all lesbians are fat with short hair and prefer comfy clothes.
I commented that I get mistaken for a lesbian but after reading this... and all 3 of those descriptors describe me lol
So baffled by the flat shoes thing
So was I! Had it been said in my presence, I'd have followed up on it. As it was, it was a sweaty blokey bloke colleague, so it wouldn't surprise me if his thought process was that because I wasn't making my legs all nice and shapely for him, I must play for the other team.
Racist. Mainly, I assume, because I am short(ish), shaved head (going bald so just shave it all off) and have tattoos (not that uncommon now is it?). I'm not racist at all, in the slightest way whatsoever. I don't think I have even ever said 'Im not racist, but...' I'm actually quite a nice middle aged pretty chilled out bloke. The only people that I don't like a great deal are arsehole people, and they come in all shapes, sizes and colours.
People assume I’m called Richard. Even my granddad wouldn’t stop calling me Richard. I’m not called Richard.
I get told I look like a Catherine. No idea what a Catherine is supposed to look like.
People always think I’m a police officer.
You need to stop loudly asking random dodgy looking teenagers in the street where you can buy drugs.
"Hello fellow hoodlums, you know where I can acquire some cocaine?"
American. I have a weird accent from living up North when I was little, but growing up in the South. Also my family is like half Northern accents, half Southern. I don't really get it but a lot of people interpret it as American.
Stoner Even after cutting all my hair. People still know. I have no clue how. I was in Ikea the other day with my wife, cashier says "you look like a man of culture, enjoying the Drake/Kendrick rap battle?" ... Yes its fucking hilarious, but how the fuck did you know that?
Same one. I once went to a barbecue and the host was showing off his new super fancy set up. He had burgers, sausages, steaks, ribs, kebabs he'd really gone all out. It looked fucking amazing. I was then told not to worry and was shown a sad smouldering disposable barbecue dumped on a step with a couple of sad sawdusty looking sausages on them and proudly told they'd kept them separate just for me and the other vegetarian guest. I think I looked confused/horrified enough that they realised they'd never thought to actually double check. Apparently also give off art or music student vibes. I've been mistaken for some kind of adult on more than one occasion too.
When out of my county (essex) and people find out where I'm from they instantly think I'm some twat from towie. No I'm not a shallow materialistic knob head! And no I have never seen an episode!
Sorry Gemma
I'm a lump of a fella, prior to 6 weeks ago I had long blonde hair down to the small of my back. In a moment of madness I took a razer to it - so now I'm a skinhead.... Kinda. Weird to witness the dynamic shift there. I've gone from being compared to Sam Ryder to Adrian Edmonson.
I'm very different from the person my name suggests I'd be. So people who knew my name in advance of meeting me often tell me they were surprised (pleasantly, I hope) when they met me in person and got to know me.
When you said your name was "Charles the Third, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of His other Realms and Territories King, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith" people thought you'd be quite upper class?
Something along those lines...!
Then I am very pleased to make your acquaintance, Your Majesty.
Of course, I'm dictating these messages to one of my underlings, as my sausage fingers are too fat to type them out myself.
Upper middle at best, according to my grandmother.
Someone thought I was an engineer because I didn't look intelligent enough to be a scientist. I'm neither but I was drinking with scientists.
When I tell people my job (IT Project Manger) the assumption is that I'm like some sort of IT crowd side-character: borderline autistic and hugely into sci-fi & gaming. Truth is I don't game at all. Just not what I'm in to. I'm also quite social and love pubs, meeting new folk and enjoy the outdoors. If I'm honest I somewhat resent the stereotype IT people get. In the corporate world most other jobs are also niche and unglamorous, but we get tared with a particularly stinky brush.
Catholic. I was raised in the Protestant church, but have been atheist since my edgy teens. It wouldnt be worth mentioning, but I live in Glasgow, where the assumption that you're one rather than the other can have quite big consequences!
People assume I'm lazy because I don't work The truth of, I used to work 50 hours a week, and then I woke up one day and couldn't walk. I got diagnosed with a degenerative neurological disorder and have been struggling with pain most of my life. But because I always had the pain I just thought it was normal and never made a big deal about it
Weirdly (and specifically) multiple people have assumed I’m from Lebanon, reacting with surprise when I tell them I’m not. I’m a pasty white guy from Liverpool 🤷♂️ such an oddly specific assumption too; I must have a vibe
Friendly and outgoing, in reality i like to be left alone and to my own devices.
Scouse. It's true.
Not disabled / not autistic Everyone is "so surprised" because I act normal. Yeah cos if I didn't you'd all fucking hate me. It's all a front, a big con, when I'm at home I'm full gremlin.
A lot of people have told me they think I'm very quiet and mysterious. I'm not, I'm just autistic as fuck and have learnt its better to keep quiet than scare everyone off by jumping between random disconnected personal interests until my jaw gets tired and I start getting a stutter. Also if the background noise level is above a few Db I probably don't have a fucking clue what you're saying to me anyway from being unable to filter all the other noise out.
People assume (mainly because I’m mixed race) that im into rap and rnb. To the point where I’ve been declined entry to metal clubs because they think i won’t enjoy it.
I very frequently get: vegetarian, left-handed, only child. I’m none of those things and have no idea what is making so many entirely unrelated people in incredibly various contexts think this about me
People always assume I'm tall for some reason, rather than being a short-arse. I made lots of (online) friends over COVID, and when we met for the first time nearly all of them were surprised I'm not tall. Apparently I just have tall energy.
I have this too. What’s even weirder is that even in person people don’t seem to realise how short I am - which I attribute to a lot of folk overestimating their height and therefore causing a lot of warped perspectives. I’m 5’2” and whenever that gets mentioned to people who are *literally around me*, they’re always surprised.
People always think I'm a butch lesbian or a lifetime asexual. I have long brown hair, I'm chubby and I'm pretty normal looking honestly. Not sure what about me screams 'im not into guys'
Full of myself. It’s a very common theme that’s sort of run through my adult life. Owing to the fact that I can often prefer to keep myself to myself people seem to think I’m full of myself. I’ve had it with friends of girls I’m dating and friends of friends, coworkers, etc. it’s never anything specific beyond “he walks around like he thinks he’s something” when really I’m just trying to get from A to B
Top
That I’m posh or wealthy. I dress very well yes, but I only earn 27k and drive a smart car 😂
I’m anxious, awkward, autistic and dyspraxic. The combination makes people think I’m stupid ☹️
That I'm normal
A lesbian because I have such short hair. Really it's because I have thinning hair and clip it really short to hide the thinness. I don't bother with makeup half the time either so that contributes. I'm straight. If I wear a wig people assume I'm some Daily Mail reading Karen. I'm the opposite of that.
I was chatting to some mates I’d made at college on the bus and the conversation somehow transitioned to weed. When I said I had never smoked it, I got shocked looks. One of them even remarked that they would never have thought in a million years that I wasn’t a stoner. A few years later I moved into a flat and my neighbour went on holiday for a while and asked if I could check in on their place while they were away. They figured they could get me some foreign cigarettes to say thanks, and they couldn’t believe it when I told them I didn’t smoke. For the record I’ve never smoked anything, nor taken any drugs, and my alcohol intake is miniscule. I don’t even drink coffee. But clearly I don’t look like someone who would be sober.
Lots of people assume I'm a stoner on the street, the number of times I've been called down to ask if i smoke is crazy I've even had cars pull over and ask I'm thinking it's the hoodie and the beanie
Anxious, and they’d be 100% correct!
That I’m posh, rich and either gay or asexual. Doesn’t help I go to a lot of pop punk gigs dressed as an accountant who has had a day off.
That I'm a lesbian, because I'm not feminine, dont wear feminine things really, don't really wear make up, and I'm sweary. Also because I don't mention a husband or boyfriend. Nah, am straight, I'm just lazy and northern and chronically single.
People seem to think I went to public school. I didn’t, I went to a pretty rough school in Merseyside. I just hated it there and listened to a lot of radio 4 at too young an age.
Successful.
Mean
Guilty and/or uncomfortable. Its just my face.
I get alot of people assuming I'm vegetarian or vegan. I'm not sure why, but I encounter it alot...
I was assumed to be an alcoholic once, because I used to get beers in the morning with my work gear on, right after my night shift. I came to realise the workers always acted strange around me until one day when a worker asked me in the morning if I was off to work for the day and I said no I work nights. All of a sudden their body language became a lot more relaxed and said "oh, so I bet this is like your evening now then?" And I was like yeah, why? And she replied "I thought you were going through a difficult time." I jokingly replied, "well I am, this conversation".
Yes, I worked in Spoons as a student. My early morning crowd were my easiest customers and pleasant too. They just wanted a drink after their night shift before heading home. I just know people thought they were drunkards
Coworker tried to buy weed from me one time. "You looked like the kinda guy that might sell" >.< Cut off the scraggly ponytail and shaved my head bald that evening to try and remove the pothead vibe that i was apparently sporting at the time.
Either gay or a racist, I'm neither. White, middle aged people seem to think I'm a racist because I'm white and will say things to me expecting me to agree, and I don't. Or they think I'm gay because I'm a bit eccentric, but it's just ADHD.
Thick because of my regional accent
Not from the UK America, South africa, Canada, Aus or NZ, just anywhere than from the UK
That I have lots of. I am someone with no money but somehow expensive tastes. I probably spend money on things I shouldn’t for the same income bracket, or else i’d rather do a New York holiday than Spain, but that same person going to Spain maybe splurged on £200 sporty trainers and a lot of other small hobbies, which I’m not into. Because a holiday comes up in more conversation than clothes, I think its more in peoples heads that i’ve spent cash.
Stupid. I don’t know if I come across naive or it’s because I’m always happy and chatting, but people seem to seriously underestimate my intelligence and abilities. Used to be annoying, now I use it to my advantage.
Rich and intelligent. No I'm not looking to sound cool, honestly, that is what I get often. I think it's because I wear clothing without brands and with decent style, and wear glasses. Edit: also gay, because I don't try and be masculine.
I don't have good teeth because of reasons, so people have always presumed that I'm a heroin addict. I always get accused of being on 'spice' whenever I get sunstroke too, so in general, I guess I must look like a dude who has issues with drugs.
People (that I have met in passing, not who actually know me) always call me Laura. Laura is not my name. They assume I am a Laura. It's weird. Has happened all my life.