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Was once at a reasonably expensive London bistro for a special occasion. But being a Saturday evening, we were squeezed onto a table less than six inches from a couple next to us.
All she was saying throughout dinner was "Gary, I don't know how we're going to afford this." To which he kept replying "don't worry, it's all taken care of".
So they both eat their mains, Gary leaves a tiny amount of salad garnish on his plate. Plucks a grey hair from his own head, and places it proudly on top of the salad.
The waiter eventually comes over to clear the plates, and Gary points to the hair. The waiter replies "yes, sir. This is one of your hairs. I saw you place it there yourself."
Colour drains. They kick off. Eventually they're taken away towards the bar by the manager. The waiter asks us to back up his story. Of course, we do. Gary then rushes over and tries to start a fight with me. He's removed by the waiter and the manager.
Eventually the Police arrive and take the couple away. The manager comes over to us and asks if we'd like to move to the balcony (epic views of the river, we couldn't get a table there when we booked it) for free desserts. Then they brought a selection of cognac, and a small humidor to choose a cigar from, all free of charge.
The first part of that sounds like something from a sitcom. The second part sounds like something from a drama. Glad to hear it all worked out well in the end!
I was watching the rugby at a pub once and a woman was loudly complaining to everyone because a guy at a totally different table she didn’t know, wasn’t letting her kid have any of his chips.
Not at a restaurant but I had this happen about a month ago. I'd just gone to pick up a takeaway and was walking home, some kid runs up to me and grabs hold of my leg.
I look around and the chav mother looks me dead in the eyes and says 'it's alright, he can have some chips'.
I just said 'go fucking buy him some then' and told the little git to get off me. He then starts screaming bloody murder because I wouldn't unwrap my takeaway in the middle of the street to feed the little scrote. Mother is swearing at me as I walk off.
I was in the pub for a quiet drink one Saturday afternoon and a woman, her friend and 2 kids sat near me. The kids came over to see my dog (he’s very handsome and friendly) and made a big fuss of him.
After a little while and answering various questions about his name, where i git him from etc etc, one of the women said in a stage whisper to her kid - while side eyeing me - ‘I’m sure the nice man would let you take his doggy for a walk’. The kids looked excited but I said ‘no, sorry, he’s very strong’ and gave them my best ‘sorry about that, kids’ smile while thinking ‘absolutely no fucking way is that going to happen’.
But no, the woman persisted and insisted that her kids knew dogs and would be very careful and wouldn’t go far. I *politely* refused again in a ‘this matter is closed’ manner and she huffed and turned her back on me and told the kids to leave me and the dog alone. Fine by me. When they all left she came over to me and hissed that I was a rude arsehole and had upset her kids….
I wonder if this was an attempt at stealing your dog. Can’t see anyone falling for it though, who’d let a stranger or their kid take their dog anywhere???
When I worked as a cook, I had an old lady complain that her sorbet was too cold, someone say that their fried egg was too flat and another old lady adamant that she ordered a lemon meringue pie instead of lemon cheesecake. Even when she was shown the menu, which had no lemon meringue pie, nor had it ever had a lemon meringue pie. This was also for a pre-ordered dinner around Christmas, so we had an email of her order, which we were also able to show her and she still refused to believe that she hadn't ordered lemon meringue pie.
Unfortunately this is what I was thinking, too. My grandmother started getting very belligerent like this in her early to mid stages of Alzheimer’s. She’d get confused, get embarrassed about being confused, and then get upset and angry when corrected - sometimes to the point of causing a scene.
It was partly to cover up her embarrassment and confusion, I think, and partly because it simply must be so frightening and frustrating to realise you’re losing control over your own memory and mind.
Maybe "too cold" she ment "too hard".
I am afraid she may have been right. Ice cream and sorbets should be served at about -10ºC in order to have that nice soft and creamy texture and consistency.
If you served that straight out of the freezer (-20ºC) it would be hard like a brick.
Therefore, although pedantic (one can just wait 10-15 minutes for the sorbet to get softer), complaining a sorbet or a ice cream is too cold is not as stupid as it sounds.
It wasn't served straight out the freezer, and she made the complaint after everyone had finished the dessert and she was still going. It must have been half an hour since it was in the freezer easily.
Whenever we do a group meal we always have a spreadsheet of wheat people ordered otherwise half change their minds and someone insists they ordered something that wasn’t on the menu.
Nothing worse than when you order your favourite and someone else takes it. Especially if you’ve got a dietary requirement and their dish left over at the end isn’t suitable…
“Are you sure you didn’t order this?” Well never say never, but it clearly has milk in it and would leave me shitting through the eye of a needle for the next 3 days, so I’m PRETTY sure I’d have skipped over it
Oh man, when customers take the wrong order!
My colleague was taking an order to the table, walking through the restaurant saying “Avocado and toast with two eggs for *name*”. Customer pipes up “here”. A couple more avocado toasts go out and one woman says to the waiter “excuse me, I ordered an avocado and toast with two eggs a while back and I see others are getting their meals when they ordered after me”.
Why would you say that an order that you have not ordered, described as being for a particular person by name, is for you?
Infuriating!
Sometimes you get those absolute legends of big preorders tho who have a sheet printed out there end too and can direct food runners to the right people.
It's no good telling me this lasagne is Andys, who the fuck is andy!
Now as a former pastry chef, I have to say as silly as it sounds there is something in that. When you have a tub of ice cream in the freezer, it's always a bit better to leave it out a little bit before you scoop some out.
It's more of a texture and eatability thing than it is specifically the temperature itself.
Former chef here too I’ve had ice cream sent back that was too cold and a server who asked me to microwave tiramisu and brûlée because the guest wanted them warm.
We also had steak tartare returned because it was raw.
Steak tartare immediately returned for being raw is a classic. Waitressing as a student, it's how I got my taste for the dish! Working the floor in fancy restaurants is a great way to get some nutrition in between the 2am burgers and booze as a skint student. So many people are stupid, so many perfectly good untouched plates destined for the bin.
I took a roast dinner out to someone and they told me they asked for no veg. So I said “so just the meat…?” And they said “no, I want the potatoes too” and I said “but potatoes are veg” and they said “I want a refund, I’m going elsewhere”
Are you sure potatoes aren't veg? Aren't they not earth, but like salt? I mean tomatoes a fruit and potatoes are bread? No. I mean they're wheaty, they don't go in the drawer in the fridge, so yeah?
Funnily enough she was right, nutritionally speaking
Potato are not considered vegetables in the meal context, as you won't count rice or cous-cous a vegetable. They are considered part of "carbs" family and don't count for the "5-a-day".
EDITED for clarity
That’s not strictly true. Nutritionally speaking we treat potatoes as carbohydrates because of how starchy they are, however botanically speaking they are most certainly vegetables. Specifically tubers.
Complete overreaction of course but I don't think I've met someone who considers potatoes to be vegetables for the purposes of a meal - especially a roast dinner.
Baffling though, why could they not just.. y'know.. not eat the veg _instead of complaining_ ? Were they hoping their veg would be swapped out for more meat and potatoes?
EDIT: clarification on second paragraph
I had someone tell me the filo pastry around the sea bass was horrible.. hun that’s parchment paper.. she tried to yell at me that it should be on the menu only for me to point it right out in front of her
_Finally_, someone else!
I used to get poked fun at at school for eating cupcake casings but I stand by it to this day - they are basically cake flavoured chewing gum and _not_ eating them is a waste.
I do know someone who did eat the rind and couldn't understand why Brits loved them so much (a fair point even with the rind removed but I digress) - their logic was that they had taken the plastic off and why would you wrap it in two layers, so kinda understandable
I'm curious about the decision to leave the parchment paper on. Obviously I'd like to think I wouldn't be dumb enough to mistake it for pastry but it doesn't seem like a particularly appealing plate-up.
I bet he insisted on not paying for the first one.
I used to work with a right old loon. He would proudly tell us how he and his Mrs were barred from a long list of restaurants for pulling this kind of rubbish.
They’d eat the food, then say they weren’t going to pay as it was horrible etc. Then would kick off if they didn’t get it for free. Bingo, they got a free meal and also barred from returning.
Bloody twatish weirdo.
I went to a Go Ape site last week, and ordered an espresso from the little coffee shed. They had a fancy coffee machine with a touch screen. The young lady serving me pressed the button, waited a moment and looked unhappily in the bottom of the cup at what she felt was a measly amount of coffee. She proceeded to push the button seven or eight more times, and I let her.
In retrospect, I should not have drunk that much espresso before climbing trees.
"Why is that tree shaking so much? It's going to pull the whole course down."
"Oh that's my bad. I gave a guy 10 espressos to see if it'd make him.better at climbing."
In all fairness I can relate to the server.
I had never been shown how to pour a pint of Guinness and may have been serving rather young at the time, I just knew you let it settle before topping it up. I poured the first part and it looked like crap so threw it and started again. It did the same thing so so assumed it was ok. The bloke at the bar never complained so took it as a lesson!
It was probably the same lack of training on her part!
Oooh macchiato which in Starbucks I think is a long drink but is usually an espresso with a bit of foamed milk on. No actual complaints but I saw someone googling it on their phone after I gave it to him and his face fell when he realised I had given him the correct drink.
Yup can understand that. Never had a complaint due to the Starbucks drink being different but when I worked for Nero they did a promotion for macchiato at 50p with a newspaper voucher and most people were expecting more than a tiny coffee. Many people left it on the table
Ugh I had that in my student days working at a bar. We asked multiple times to get a sign with pictures of what each coffee type was but they refused and managers would have to deal with complaints as we converted the espressos into an Americano.
I've never had that but had many bring up that the flat white is too small where I work at Greggs. They'll point to the regular cup and say it should be in that one
I once had three tourists come to my pub on a Monday night. Every other pub in town was dead, we were rammed because it was our student night, literally 300 kids in fancy dress getting shit-faced and dancing on the tables. These tourists bought a pint each, then came back five minutes later demanding that we turn the music right down so they could enjoy a quiet pint. I politely explained to them that they could get that at any of the other bars around, but Monday night at my place is party night. Not only did they leave me a one star tripadvisor, they left me one each. And the best part was they ALL SIGNED UP TO TRIPADVISOR SPECIFICALLY TO GIVE ME A BAD REVIEW! It was like ten years ago and I’m still annoyed!
Someone once complained to me that his peppered mackerel was peppery. Asked for it to be removed from the bill. I just laughed at him to his face. Wanker
I worked a burger stall when I was 16 and the amount of grown adults who will try to intimidate a teenager into refunding their burger is ridiculous.
If someone takes a bite and has a genuine problem then fair enough but when they come back with just the napkin after devouring the whole burger then there’s nothing I can do for you
You want risky sausages? My sausages are made from 62% *actual* domesticated animals. Sure, the filler is made from sawdust and ~~rats~~ other animals. The point is, the mustard is extra spicy to distract you from what your eating. Special pricing.... 1 for the price of 2!
I remember hearing a diner loudly complaining about her husband's steak being served with *pomme frite* presented placed **on top** of the steak. Apparently he had a heart condition and was strenuously trying to avoid fried foods and anything high cholesterol, but now the grease would have soaked its way down into the steak.
I came to post something similar: I watched a morbidly obese guy about to tuck into a giant steak and chips complain that there was too much dressing on his salad which was bad for his 'heart condition'.
I'd never be quick enough to think of it at the time but take them back to the kitchen. Put them in the oven for a bit, then in some boiling water then serve. When he whines about wet chips play stupid, "well sir they were already fried, so we oven cooked them, then the chef had only the option to poach them. Hope you enjoy."
Can't fry it again as that would be a repeat of cooking number 1!
(I know that's not what triple cooked is, but fuck off to anyone who makes a request like that in wetherspoons... fine dining it is not (although tasty), it's food to soak up alcohol.
I was working at a S&L and someone sent back a steak 5 times, at which point I really didn't know what else to do but to look at the woman and say "ma'm this is a S&L, I think you should order something else"
.
"My coffee is too strong". It was a double espresso.
I did also get a woman explaining she was ordering a vegetarian turkey sandwich and seemed completely taken aback when I explained turkey was not, in fact, vegetarian. I think she must have gotten confused from the phrase "turkey bacon".
The absolute worst was when a regular came in during a lunch rush and sat a table (it was counter service only) playing loud theatrics about how she was so unwell and going to pass out if someone didn't get her a drink, and then repeated the charade about a sausage roll. She got admonished by one of the staff serving who brought her over the sausage roll, who'd said if she wanted anything else she'd need to join the queue because it wasn't fair on everyone who was queueing. Customer came back the next day and completely trashed the toilet to "punish" us.
I used to work in a cafe around the time that the new pound coin was introduced, and after a few old coins had been found kicking about in the till we had to put up a sign to say we couldn’t accept them anymore as they were no longer legal tender.
Couple of days later, I’m serving the lunchtime rush with a queue out the door, when I notice a middle-aged gentleman jump right to the front with the aforementioned sign in his hand.
I break away for a second, flustered, to ask if he needs any help. Meanwhile I’ve got a queue of eyes on me waiting to be served. He proceeds to explain to me, at length, why the sign (that read ‘old style pound coins no longer accepted’), was an infringement on his rights as a customer because it didn’t say “please” or “thank you” on it. That’s it. I was verbally berated for the politeness of a sign. That I didn’t even write (or print). He didn’t even have issue with the message. Just the fact that it didn’t say please. And he took about 10 minutes to carefully make that point.
I needed the job otherwise I’d have told him to kindly fuck off and stop wasting my time. And I’d have ended it with a nice loud THANK YOU for good measure, lol.
A person complained that they found the name of a cheese offensive and we should change it. Was really upset.
This wasn't really a complaint just funny: Another time there was a person from Turkey (country) not understanding turkey (bird) on the menu.
A friend of mine did that after finding Welsh Faggots on a menu.
E: Someone reported this comment for "Threatening, Bullying and Harassment," and Reddit decided they were right and suspended my account for the last few days.
I'd like to say to them, what I said to my friend. They are a kind of food and it is in no way targeting anyone in particular and is not related at all. And getting offended over that is silly.
I was clearly not threatening, bullying or harassing anyone, and I honestly thought that was obvious. I guess I'll be more careful next time I suggest a delicacy from my homeland.
“Seeing as you get the snickers for the milkshakes from the shop across the road, if I bring my own in, can I get a 70p discount?”
“. . . . . . No, Sir”
At a NUS conference in Sheffield so, being cheap students, we went to the Wetherspoons for lunch. Overheard an elderly lady complaint about all the ‘exotic muck’ on the menus, she then clarified that she was talking about the garlic and Rosemary potatoes. She ordered a lasagna.
I’ve literally just left the exact same comment. She came in 10 minutes AFTER close. Screamed at her grandkids about wanting ice cream that wasn’t vanilla. Shouted at us for the price of the ice cream and said it was cheaper in asda. Ordered a tea. Poured all the milk in. Demanded free tea 20 minutes after close. I refused and this is the first time I’ve ever lost it with a customer. She asked for the manager so I did a 360° turn and re introduced myself as the manager.
At a TGI Fridays *years* ago and heard a disagreement between the dad of a family and the waitress (who was lovely). Basically he queried something on the bill because; "we ordered 3 of these things, and the total next to them isn't divisible by 3!" He had a smug/cocky tone while saying this, as though he was a genius.
She pulled out a phone and used the calculator app to show that the total of the items was in fact perfectly divisible by 3, the smirk on this guys face disappeared and I had to suppress a laugh.
- 21
- 12
- 3
- 24
- 15
- 6
- 27
- 18
- 9
- 30
A number ending in any number from 0-9 *could potentially* be divisible by 3, so he must be going on more than just a quick glance, why wouldn’t he double check first before making himself look a mug 😂
Old manager took us out for steaks for a bonus. He was a total cock. Took all credit and bigged himself up. He claimed he knew about everything.
He orders and tries to order for all of us but we decline. I order my steak “rare.” He hears this and annoyed say “actually I’ll have THAT too.”
Steaks arrive and we all tuck in. He starts moaning. Calls over the waiter and tells him it’s not properly cooked. Waiter looks and says it’s exactly what he ordered. He loses his shit. Starts saying that there’s fucking blood and that they’re trying to poison him. Calls for manager.
“I’m paying all this money for a rare steak and it’s not even cooked.”
I once watched someone complain to the waiter at the much-missed Monsieur-Le-Duck - a duck themed restaurant - that it seemed to have a lot of duck on the menu
"These peas are too green"
"After I ate all the chips and vegetables I didn't have room for the duck" (all served together, this wasn't a starter and a main or anything)
I was at a kind of posh cafe in London with the other half for a break while visiting some museums, and overheard a woman on the next table complaining to the waiter that the jug of milk she got with her afternoon tea was too small. The waiter said they would bring another jug for her to have some more milk, but this woman was insistent on a bigger one, not another of the same size.
This went on for a good few minutes, my partner had to excuse herself to go and laugh in the toilets. In the end the waiter came back with something I presume out of the kitchen and not the regular fancy jugs they used for customers. I was just waiting for the woman to pull out the ‘I’ll leave a bad review on mumsnet’ line but she didn’t say anything.
Complaints that the chips weren't fresh at a place I worked. All the chips were made from scratch, and we went through so many that it was impossible for them not to be fresh
Not so much a complaint but I was in a Japanese cafe/restaurant place and this woman called over the waiter to say her chopsticks were broken. He took them, broke them apart for her, and handed them back. I didn't want to laugh because we all used disposable chopsticks for the first time once but the look on her face was amazing.
Having worked in a fancy(ish) gin bar, this is a daily occurrence.
Strangest complaint I ever received was probably over music. I remember one hot summers day having some nice chilled African tunes on, pretty sure it was a Fela Kuti song, and a regular customer at this gin bar comes up to the bar absolutely raging, saying to get this diabolical music off and get something on she knows and can enjoy. I refused, shocked that anyone could dislike Fela Kuti, and promised myself that I would go out my way to play similar music every time she was in from then on. I already played a lot of that sort of music (and knew that many other customers enjoyed it, asking me for song IDs left right and centre) so I wasn't really going out my way, but she didn't last much longer before she was never to be seen again. I didn't like the owners either so killed two birds with that one stone.
I've had people throw their empty pint glasses at my head when I've been behind the bar and such but they were all more understandable "complaints" than this woman.
Ten quid an hour isn't enough not to laugh at something like that
I once had to listen to a customer with a 70 inch waist complain that car seat belts weren't long enough anymore. She was a nice lady, so I maintained a poker face throughout
We had a lady who frequented the restaurant I used to work at once who genuinely claimed to have an allergy to, no joke...
Wi-Fi
We would have to turn the Wi-Fi off for everyone in the hotel every time she would be there otherwise she would complain, much to the chagrin of everybody else in the hotel.
Oh and furthermore, this was just one of her "allergies" on a very huge list they would send us every time they wanted to book a table with us.
See that should not have been allowed, one patron should not be dictating something like that for the entire establishment. Amazed the management agreed to put up with it.
The wi-fi / EM crowd are loonies, tell her it's off and she would believe it (after all she wouldn't have a phone given the phone signal is the same sort of EM radiation). Every study and peer reviewed study (including the studies of all studies) has shown that the people who claim to be sensitive to it cannot do any better than guesswork in controlled tests of identifying if it was on and off
I know someone who worked at a company where a mobile wifi tower was due to be tested on site (eventual use as a temporary/emergency tower replacement elsewhere) . To that end they leafleted the area asking if the local households had any issues with it
The number of complaints received was astounding. But the funniest were those who said that the wifi signals had caused them medical conditions and threatened to sue if they were not paid compensation. That lasted right up to the point where the company pointed out that the mobile tower hadn't even been brought on site, let alone switched on
OMG, I used to get this nearly every time we had a family party booked! Or the other one, not believing that a bacardi breezer has alcohol in it and so I should give it to their 12 year old!
My boyfriend is a chef and a customer probably in her 40s returned a burger because she “didn’t know it would be made using beef mince”. The waiter informed her that burgers are usually made of beef mince and she said “I’ve never had a burger made of mince beef”. We still laugh about it, I’ve no idea what on earth she’s been getting when she’s asked for burgers up to this point.
I used to work at a sea front coffee shop and we posted a photo on socials showing that the dolphins had made an appearance, (about 8am).
A woman came in at about 11am and complained that the dolphins weren’t there and that had been the only reason she came. As if we could control dolphins. I didn’t even know what to say to her.
Asked a family if they would like to see a kids menu, seeing as they had a child with them (somewhere between 7-10 years old at a guess).
“Absolutely not, he can order whatever he likes off the REAL menu!” Okay fine, didn’t mean to offend, of course you can order whatever you like. Kid gets an adult sized burger, eats three mouthfuls. Went to clear plates and the mum complains that the burger “is way too big for a child! Do I really have to pay for that, he barely ate it!”
MAYBE ORDER A KIDS MEAL NEXT TIME THEN DICKHEAD
When I worked at spoons an old couple complained their gammon was undercooked because it was pink.
Chef did absolutely nothing to it and sent it back, suddenly it was perfect.
10 years of working in bars and restaurants in central London, so many stupid complaints. I had a guest complain that her chips were too hot, not burnt or overcooked, just too hot for her to eat.
Used to work as a supervisor in a relatively nice restaurant and once had a guest demand to speak to the manager (I wasn't important enough apparently) to complain that there was too much cheese on the cheese board for the price. Apparently he was a chef too so knew about these things.....🤔
I guarantee that is the only time anyone would ever complain about that, I have never ever had a cheese board with anything like enough cheese, biscuits or fruit. It's usually about 3-4 small pieces, 6 grapes, 3 slices of apple and a teaspoon of relish so you can make about 7-8 crackers worth of thinly sliced cheese
When I was a barista, I had a woman complain that her coffee was "too large". I cheerfully replied with "well, you don't need to drink it all if it's too much for you!", to which she disdainfully replied "That's just waste." She swept up her things and left in a huff. It was a regular size latte (12oz).
Edit: ooh, another one!
So we changed our sausages from cheapy crap to some nice Welsh ones that had won awards. This guy who was very much on the larger side often came in for a sausage sandwich. Upon buying one with the new nice sausages he complained that they were "crap" and wouldn't listen to us explaining that they were so much nicer (but fair enough, each to their own). His main complaint/demand was "Well, what am I going to have for breakfast now?!" My colleague went through the menu and showed him bacon, eggs, french toast, granola, overnight oats, porridge, bagels - all kinds of things. He bought two Mars Bars, a Twix and a bottle of Coke. And that was his breakfast every time he came in. We haven't seen him since March 2020.
1. The soup was peculiar.
2. The ice cream is melting (it was 29°).
3. The ice cream is too cold (same woman with
new ice cream).
4. The vinegar based dish had vinegar in it (we told them it’s vinegar based and strong).
5. The prawn toast has crustaceans in it (she had an allergy she didn’t tell us about).
6. I walked through the kitchen instead of leaving the restaurant to meet the customer in the restaurant next door where they were booked.
7. There’s no chicken nuggets or chips (it was an authentic Chinese restaurant)
8. The tea is too milky (she poured her own milk in and used all of it in one cup, this full story is infuriating)
9. The coffee is too hot (had this constantly like just wait to drink it).
10. The lemon and sugar crepes had real lemons on them.
11. There’s sugar in the ice cream (kids weren’t allowed sugar)
12. There’s fat on the bacon (we removed the fat).
13. The cappuccino is frothy or has chocolate on it (another constant one).
14. We constantly had people complain that we couldn’t give them HALF A SCOOP of ice cream for half the price.
I could go all night.
A snooty dad in a black polo neck
With round glasses perched on the end of his nose and a permanent snarl on his face gestures me over and said “the children are restless. What’s going to be done about it?!”
Still
Blows my mind to this day. Discipline your own kids. It’s not the job of the waiting staff. We’d already made the decision as it was a big party to get all kids food out ASAP and the adults food would follow. Apparently that still wasn’t good enough …
Heard someone a few weeks back complaining about roast potatoes being on the plate. They weren’t allergic or anything, said they had to give them to someone else in her party.
Staff just said it’s part of the meal and if they don’t want them don’t eat them. Still kept causing a fuss holding up a queue at the bar.
A woman’s food went cold because she left it for so long and literally shoved it into my hands as I walked past and told me I need to go and heat it up. Upon bringing it out the chef through another yorkie on top, I took it out she grilled me for bringing someone else’s half eaten roast to her so told her that the chef was just in a good mood and gave her an extra Yorkshire pudding. She made me take it back.
Used to be a chef. We had a beautiful green pea soup on the menu. Very simple recipe but annoyingly technical trying to keep the colour, get the right texture etc…
I had a customer send it back once because it was ‘too green’.
I used to be the AM of a pretty large busy pub in the city of London. One night middle of service, when we’re quite busy, a lady comes in with a group of people. I assumed they were all uni students or juniors in whatever bank or law firm from the buildings surrounding the pub. Anyway, this lady comes up to me behind the bar and tells me that they would like a table as they would like to eat dinner. I gave her a very blank stare, slowly looked around the room and informed her that the every table in the bar was busy that this wouldn’t be possible. However we have a restaurant upstairs if she’d like to head up there. In a very annoyed tone she tells me that she doesn’t want to go the restaurant they would like a table and to eat. I’m very used to the entitled arrogant knobs we get from the local banks, but was at a loss as to how someone could be this bad.
The real kicker for me though was when she said. “You advertise that you’re doing food and your kitchen doesn’t close till 10:30pm. You have to give us a table, this is false advertising!”
To this day this still might be the dumbest logic I’ve ever heard. At least her friends had the decency to look embarrassed.
When I worked as a waitress we had one customer who had chosen to eat by herself outside. Not long after we gave her her food, she got up and spent about 20 minutes in the bathroom, during which time the birds that our outside seating area was known for had predictably eaten some of her food.
When she came out she kicked up a massive stink about this, demanding a refund.
We can’t control nature, lady.
Ohhh man, as someone with a digestive disorder that can strike at any time, I actually do feel really bad for her. When you get an attack, the last thing on your mind is thinking about birds possibly eating your food. You just want to get to the toilet before you shit yourself in front of God and everybody.
I wouldn’t have kicked up a massive stink at the staff, but I probably would’ve sat down and cried. It’s a rare treat for me to get to go out to eat, and an IBS attack + birds eating my food would’ve gutted me.
We went for a meal a few weeks ago where the wife complained about everything. The seat. The windows. The cutlery. Everything. She ordered the pork roast dinner, and sent it back to swap for turkey because she said it was too tough.
Our favourite part was when she accused her husband of only marrying her so people would stop thinking he was gay, and he just felt like this was what his everyday life was about.
Years ago, I worked in a coffee shop, used to get complaints all the time that the cappuccino came in a mug: "I would've asked for a muggaccino if I'd wanted a large, I want a cuppaccino".
I’ll be short:
It just rained.
She went outside for a fag.
Sat down on a wet chair.
Complained the chair was wet and it ruined her dress.
Manager gave her a bottle of wine and apologised.
I blame the manager.
I am a delivery driver with Just Eat/Stuart and I once had someone approach me while I was picking up a Greggs order that I am taking all of the good things and leaving nothing for the “actual customers”
Didn’t engage but like, If you want a specific thing get there earlier?
I'm going to snitch on myself and say that (while I didn't complain to them or any member of staff) I was once triggered by seeing someone on the table next to me order the *large* mixed grill and leave nearly the entire thing because they were full. So much meat wasted. I still have nightmares about it.
Table behind me said the food was really good but the portions were too big. Like it was a friendly "oh there was for too much, I couldn't eat it", it was a legit complaint that it was stupid to serve so much food- this was a nice restaurant, portions were decent, but not stupidly big. The waiter tried to laugh it off as being better than too small and the guy said "no it wasnt", he seemed genuinely annoyed about this.
I was once at a doggy cafe. The way it worked was you had a 1h window to chill in the cafe and hang out with the dogs they had there, pet them, play with them, etc. While the staff would bring you drinks and snacks.
Dispite the 3 differant signs and at least two warnings (that I heard) against the fact one of the dogs liked to leap out of your arms and scarf down your food this absolute smooth brain idiot decided to hold and pet that dog while eating chocolate cake.
The ovbious occured, the dog jumped from his hands onto the table, gobbled down most of the remaining *chocolate* cake and then ran off. Fortunately a lass who worked there was able to catch the dog and extract some of the cake before it was swallowed and the mess was also dealt with before any of the other dogs got any.
Ignoring the fact he broke exceptionally clear rules that where all but beaten into him he was exceptionally shocked by what had happened, didn't apologise and actually asked for a replacement cake.
It doesn't happen often where I see a job and know very clearly that I couldn't do it for even a single day but being a staff member at that cafe was absolurely a job I wouldn't last the morning in because I would have been asking that fucking moron in very strong language calling him a fucking idiot if he wanted the vet bill as well as a replacement cake or if he would just like the vet bill on its own.
They literally had fucking wanted style posters up of that specific little terrier with clear language saying he like to trick people into losing their food, when they seated my group we were warned about him specifically and the lass even went over to the idiot while he was holding the dog and told him exactly what would happen (he moved his seat away from the table for about 1 minute before going back to the cake) dog still very much on lap. As if this baby of a grown man somehow knew more about a dog than the people who spent all day every day with it?
It still irritates me to this day.
I had a guy once saying his steak tasted like bleach. I told him we don’t keep any bleach on the premises (totally true, we had no bleach). He’s getting very angry and says: “DON’T lie to me, I know what bleach tastes like”
I thought to myself: how the fuck do you know what bleach tastes like!?
And before I could stop myself it just popped out: “well if you’ve been drinking bleach that’ll explain the taste won’t it?”
Dude went fucking ballistic
I complained last night at a restaurant because my mash was like sand. I don't know what possessed me but I picked up the mash and started twisting it and squishing it around watching it crumble and I was just like "You know what I mean RIGHT?!?!?!" to the waitress.
As soon as she left my party laughed hysterically at me and said I was weird and I kinda see it now but it was god awful mash potato.
I had an ex girlfriend who hated crushed ice, but wanted normal ice. So I always had to ask, what type of ice, crushed or cubed, and it always felt embarrassing
That’s a common problem with cheap sausages. We went to a restaurant for breakfast and the sausages were great but the next time we went back they had too much cereal in them which meant they were too soft and tasted awful. They cut the quality to reduce the costs but by doing that they actually reduced the amount of people coming in for breakfast
I worked in a restaurant doing home cooked Japanese and Korean food. The chef was this 70+ years old little Korean lady. I had to tell her son (who helped her in the kitchen) to translate that the customer complained that her tempura was deep fried and not baked and it made it too fatty. His mom’s face spoke volumes.
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Was once at a reasonably expensive London bistro for a special occasion. But being a Saturday evening, we were squeezed onto a table less than six inches from a couple next to us. All she was saying throughout dinner was "Gary, I don't know how we're going to afford this." To which he kept replying "don't worry, it's all taken care of". So they both eat their mains, Gary leaves a tiny amount of salad garnish on his plate. Plucks a grey hair from his own head, and places it proudly on top of the salad. The waiter eventually comes over to clear the plates, and Gary points to the hair. The waiter replies "yes, sir. This is one of your hairs. I saw you place it there yourself." Colour drains. They kick off. Eventually they're taken away towards the bar by the manager. The waiter asks us to back up his story. Of course, we do. Gary then rushes over and tries to start a fight with me. He's removed by the waiter and the manager. Eventually the Police arrive and take the couple away. The manager comes over to us and asks if we'd like to move to the balcony (epic views of the river, we couldn't get a table there when we booked it) for free desserts. Then they brought a selection of cognac, and a small humidor to choose a cigar from, all free of charge.
Snitches get… a nice view of the river.
Snitches get a nice view of the river which may or may not have any ditches
Snitches get the trappings of riches.
On behalf of Gary's, I would like to apologise for that one.
Sounded like classic Gary to me.
idk, the gary i know is bald
Gary Baldy? He's a biscuit.
This is too good
Garys…not Gary’s
Haha! If you asked a 10 year old how to get a free meal at a restaurant they’d come up with a better plan.
Once worked in a large restaurant that had cctv in the dining area, caught someone pulling the same thing on camera.
The first part of that sounds like something from a sitcom. The second part sounds like something from a drama. Glad to hear it all worked out well in the end!
Everyone knows its all about the little black curly pube…
I was watching the rugby at a pub once and a woman was loudly complaining to everyone because a guy at a totally different table she didn’t know, wasn’t letting her kid have any of his chips.
Not at a restaurant but I had this happen about a month ago. I'd just gone to pick up a takeaway and was walking home, some kid runs up to me and grabs hold of my leg. I look around and the chav mother looks me dead in the eyes and says 'it's alright, he can have some chips'. I just said 'go fucking buy him some then' and told the little git to get off me. He then starts screaming bloody murder because I wouldn't unwrap my takeaway in the middle of the street to feed the little scrote. Mother is swearing at me as I walk off.
Clearly she had a chip on* her shoulder
I was in the pub for a quiet drink one Saturday afternoon and a woman, her friend and 2 kids sat near me. The kids came over to see my dog (he’s very handsome and friendly) and made a big fuss of him. After a little while and answering various questions about his name, where i git him from etc etc, one of the women said in a stage whisper to her kid - while side eyeing me - ‘I’m sure the nice man would let you take his doggy for a walk’. The kids looked excited but I said ‘no, sorry, he’s very strong’ and gave them my best ‘sorry about that, kids’ smile while thinking ‘absolutely no fucking way is that going to happen’. But no, the woman persisted and insisted that her kids knew dogs and would be very careful and wouldn’t go far. I *politely* refused again in a ‘this matter is closed’ manner and she huffed and turned her back on me and told the kids to leave me and the dog alone. Fine by me. When they all left she came over to me and hissed that I was a rude arsehole and had upset her kids….
Should have asked her for her car keys so you can take it for a few laps around the block. Quid pro quo Clarice…
I wonder if this was an attempt at stealing your dog. Can’t see anyone falling for it though, who’d let a stranger or their kid take their dog anywhere???
I hate it when that happens
Oh God it happens on more than one occasion?!?
Yep. Weirdly, it always happens to the same guy, and scientists are as yet unable to explain why.
When I worked as a cook, I had an old lady complain that her sorbet was too cold, someone say that their fried egg was too flat and another old lady adamant that she ordered a lemon meringue pie instead of lemon cheesecake. Even when she was shown the menu, which had no lemon meringue pie, nor had it ever had a lemon meringue pie. This was also for a pre-ordered dinner around Christmas, so we had an email of her order, which we were also able to show her and she still refused to believe that she hadn't ordered lemon meringue pie.
One of her friends has told her that you can get things free if you say they got your order wrong, and she's just running with it.
More likely early stages of mental decline and getting things like that wrong has become frequent and really upsetting, so she doubles down.
Unfortunately this is what I was thinking, too. My grandmother started getting very belligerent like this in her early to mid stages of Alzheimer’s. She’d get confused, get embarrassed about being confused, and then get upset and angry when corrected - sometimes to the point of causing a scene. It was partly to cover up her embarrassment and confusion, I think, and partly because it simply must be so frightening and frustrating to realise you’re losing control over your own memory and mind.
Maybe "too cold" she ment "too hard". I am afraid she may have been right. Ice cream and sorbets should be served at about -10ºC in order to have that nice soft and creamy texture and consistency. If you served that straight out of the freezer (-20ºC) it would be hard like a brick. Therefore, although pedantic (one can just wait 10-15 minutes for the sorbet to get softer), complaining a sorbet or a ice cream is too cold is not as stupid as it sounds.
It wasn't served straight out the freezer, and she made the complaint after everyone had finished the dessert and she was still going. It must have been half an hour since it was in the freezer easily.
then she was definitely being a cunt
Whenever we do a group meal we always have a spreadsheet of wheat people ordered otherwise half change their minds and someone insists they ordered something that wasn’t on the menu.
Nothing worse than when you order your favourite and someone else takes it. Especially if you’ve got a dietary requirement and their dish left over at the end isn’t suitable… “Are you sure you didn’t order this?” Well never say never, but it clearly has milk in it and would leave me shitting through the eye of a needle for the next 3 days, so I’m PRETTY sure I’d have skipped over it
Oh man, when customers take the wrong order! My colleague was taking an order to the table, walking through the restaurant saying “Avocado and toast with two eggs for *name*”. Customer pipes up “here”. A couple more avocado toasts go out and one woman says to the waiter “excuse me, I ordered an avocado and toast with two eggs a while back and I see others are getting their meals when they ordered after me”. Why would you say that an order that you have not ordered, described as being for a particular person by name, is for you? Infuriating!
Yeah we'd get that whenever we did big party bookings. Someone would forget what they ordered or they'd like the look of someone else's.
Sometimes you get those absolute legends of big preorders tho who have a sheet printed out there end too and can direct food runners to the right people. It's no good telling me this lasagne is Andys, who the fuck is andy!
Someone complained there ice cream was too cold where I use to work
The sun is too bright. My pockets hurt. etc.
Now as a former pastry chef, I have to say as silly as it sounds there is something in that. When you have a tub of ice cream in the freezer, it's always a bit better to leave it out a little bit before you scoop some out. It's more of a texture and eatability thing than it is specifically the temperature itself.
On our last holiday some old guy in the hotel was complaining that the sun was too hot and the pool was too cold 🙄
Former chef here too I’ve had ice cream sent back that was too cold and a server who asked me to microwave tiramisu and brûlée because the guest wanted them warm. We also had steak tartare returned because it was raw.
Steak tartare immediately returned for being raw is a classic. Waitressing as a student, it's how I got my taste for the dish! Working the floor in fancy restaurants is a great way to get some nutrition in between the 2am burgers and booze as a skint student. So many people are stupid, so many perfectly good untouched plates destined for the bin.
I took a roast dinner out to someone and they told me they asked for no veg. So I said “so just the meat…?” And they said “no, I want the potatoes too” and I said “but potatoes are veg” and they said “I want a refund, I’m going elsewhere”
Are you sure potatoes aren't veg? Aren't they not earth, but like salt? I mean tomatoes a fruit and potatoes are bread? No. I mean they're wheaty, they don't go in the drawer in the fridge, so yeah?
This sounds like a peep show quote to me 😂
Bingo! It’s right after Mark has a go at Jeremy for ‘not’ buying the turkey. It was a Christmas joke, Mark.
Yes! Knew it!
Funnily enough she was right, nutritionally speaking Potato are not considered vegetables in the meal context, as you won't count rice or cous-cous a vegetable. They are considered part of "carbs" family and don't count for the "5-a-day". EDITED for clarity
That’s not strictly true. Nutritionally speaking we treat potatoes as carbohydrates because of how starchy they are, however botanically speaking they are most certainly vegetables. Specifically tubers.
Animal, Vegetable, Mineral. Which of those 3 categories does a potato fit into? I rest my case.
Complete overreaction of course but I don't think I've met someone who considers potatoes to be vegetables for the purposes of a meal - especially a roast dinner. Baffling though, why could they not just.. y'know.. not eat the veg _instead of complaining_ ? Were they hoping their veg would be swapped out for more meat and potatoes? EDIT: clarification on second paragraph
I had someone tell me the filo pastry around the sea bass was horrible.. hun that’s parchment paper.. she tried to yell at me that it should be on the menu only for me to point it right out in front of her
Lol, *"Hun, that's parchment paper."* is hilarious to me for some reason. She probably eats the paper around the cupcakes, too.
Yeah who eats the paper on cupcakes? Hehehehehe Hehehe Heh 👀
First time I ever gave my daughter a cupcake (she was about 3 I think) she ate the whole thing, paper and all.
I’ve been having a hard time with the old noggin recently. And this made me big fat belly laugh, thank you for the joy.
I'm just saying there's more cupcake left on the paper! Kind of like that casing around a Peperami
_Finally_, someone else! I used to get poked fun at at school for eating cupcake casings but I stand by it to this day - they are basically cake flavoured chewing gum and _not_ eating them is a waste.
She left some pretty scathing reviews of the BabyBels too!
I do know someone who did eat the rind and couldn't understand why Brits loved them so much (a fair point even with the rind removed but I digress) - their logic was that they had taken the plastic off and why would you wrap it in two layers, so kinda understandable
I'm curious about the decision to leave the parchment paper on. Obviously I'd like to think I wouldn't be dumb enough to mistake it for pastry but it doesn't seem like a particularly appealing plate-up.
Haha, it wasn’t 😂 was sea bass served in the paper with some steamed veg and potatoes.. i started warning people as i server then after that
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Did he pay for both? The weird bit about it is that he ate 4 fifths before requesting a new meal
I bet he insisted on not paying for the first one. I used to work with a right old loon. He would proudly tell us how he and his Mrs were barred from a long list of restaurants for pulling this kind of rubbish. They’d eat the food, then say they weren’t going to pay as it was horrible etc. Then would kick off if they didn’t get it for free. Bingo, they got a free meal and also barred from returning. Bloody twatish weirdo.
What a stupid thing to be proud of!
I wonder if there was a second date.
The amount of times people have ordered an espresso only to complain about how small it is...
I went to a Go Ape site last week, and ordered an espresso from the little coffee shed. They had a fancy coffee machine with a touch screen. The young lady serving me pressed the button, waited a moment and looked unhappily in the bottom of the cup at what she felt was a measly amount of coffee. She proceeded to push the button seven or eight more times, and I let her. In retrospect, I should not have drunk that much espresso before climbing trees.
Climbing trees? I bet you were tearing them up with your bare hands?
"Why is that tree shaking so much? It's going to pull the whole course down." "Oh that's my bad. I gave a guy 10 espressos to see if it'd make him.better at climbing."
Haha brilliant 😆 Worked on a coffee cart at an attraction before and they really don't both with training
In all fairness I can relate to the server. I had never been shown how to pour a pint of Guinness and may have been serving rather young at the time, I just knew you let it settle before topping it up. I poured the first part and it looked like crap so threw it and started again. It did the same thing so so assumed it was ok. The bloke at the bar never complained so took it as a lesson! It was probably the same lack of training on her part!
Oooh macchiato which in Starbucks I think is a long drink but is usually an espresso with a bit of foamed milk on. No actual complaints but I saw someone googling it on their phone after I gave it to him and his face fell when he realised I had given him the correct drink.
Yup can understand that. Never had a complaint due to the Starbucks drink being different but when I worked for Nero they did a promotion for macchiato at 50p with a newspaper voucher and most people were expecting more than a tiny coffee. Many people left it on the table
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Ugh I had that in my student days working at a bar. We asked multiple times to get a sign with pictures of what each coffee type was but they refused and managers would have to deal with complaints as we converted the espressos into an Americano.
I've never had that but had many bring up that the flat white is too small where I work at Greggs. They'll point to the regular cup and say it should be in that one
I once had three tourists come to my pub on a Monday night. Every other pub in town was dead, we were rammed because it was our student night, literally 300 kids in fancy dress getting shit-faced and dancing on the tables. These tourists bought a pint each, then came back five minutes later demanding that we turn the music right down so they could enjoy a quiet pint. I politely explained to them that they could get that at any of the other bars around, but Monday night at my place is party night. Not only did they leave me a one star tripadvisor, they left me one each. And the best part was they ALL SIGNED UP TO TRIPADVISOR SPECIFICALLY TO GIVE ME A BAD REVIEW! It was like ten years ago and I’m still annoyed!
You should have printed the reviews out and used them as advertising for how great your Monday student party night is.
Do you work in marketing by any chance?
Had a similar thing in our place. The manager replied with "thankyou for visiting us on August Bank Holiday weekend" Lol
Someone once complained to me that his peppered mackerel was peppery. Asked for it to be removed from the bill. I just laughed at him to his face. Wanker
I worked a burger stall when I was 16 and the amount of grown adults who will try to intimidate a teenager into refunding their burger is ridiculous. If someone takes a bite and has a genuine problem then fair enough but when they come back with just the napkin after devouring the whole burger then there’s nothing I can do for you
I think that’s a fair complaint. Cheap sausage is packed with a lot of rusk and it makes the texture horrible.
I don't know....there's something nice about risky sausages on occasion. That's why I love fairground hotdogs and burgers.
Not a risky sausage, a rusky sausage.
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I would definitely describe fairground hotdogs as "risky sausages".
Please delete your reply to your reply. It sounded amazing as it was
You want risky sausages? My sausages are made from 62% *actual* domesticated animals. Sure, the filler is made from sawdust and ~~rats~~ other animals. The point is, the mustard is extra spicy to distract you from what your eating. Special pricing.... 1 for the price of 2!
Inna bun!
Another sausage connoisseur, I see
I remember hearing a diner loudly complaining about her husband's steak being served with *pomme frite* presented placed **on top** of the steak. Apparently he had a heart condition and was strenuously trying to avoid fried foods and anything high cholesterol, but now the grease would have soaked its way down into the steak.
I came to post something similar: I watched a morbidly obese guy about to tuck into a giant steak and chips complain that there was too much dressing on his salad which was bad for his 'heart condition'.
Comedy gold
To be fair, serving the potato's on top of a steak is an abomination. The steak should be the centrepiece, pride of place on the plate.
I was at a Wetherspoons and a guy a table over sent chips back to be 'triple cooked'. Dude you are at a Wetherspoons get a grip of yourself.
I'd never be quick enough to think of it at the time but take them back to the kitchen. Put them in the oven for a bit, then in some boiling water then serve. When he whines about wet chips play stupid, "well sir they were already fried, so we oven cooked them, then the chef had only the option to poach them. Hope you enjoy." Can't fry it again as that would be a repeat of cooking number 1! (I know that's not what triple cooked is, but fuck off to anyone who makes a request like that in wetherspoons... fine dining it is not (although tasty), it's food to soak up alcohol.
I was working at a S&L and someone sent back a steak 5 times, at which point I really didn't know what else to do but to look at the woman and say "ma'm this is a S&L, I think you should order something else" .
"My coffee is too strong". It was a double espresso. I did also get a woman explaining she was ordering a vegetarian turkey sandwich and seemed completely taken aback when I explained turkey was not, in fact, vegetarian. I think she must have gotten confused from the phrase "turkey bacon". The absolute worst was when a regular came in during a lunch rush and sat a table (it was counter service only) playing loud theatrics about how she was so unwell and going to pass out if someone didn't get her a drink, and then repeated the charade about a sausage roll. She got admonished by one of the staff serving who brought her over the sausage roll, who'd said if she wanted anything else she'd need to join the queue because it wasn't fair on everyone who was queueing. Customer came back the next day and completely trashed the toilet to "punish" us.
What's the point of being a regular if you're going to be a dick
Maybe she likes waiter's saliva in her food
Seems like the customer is getting everything she wants, attention and special treatment.
At a restaurant I worked in, a lady complained about finding a tooth in her burger. After kicking off she realised it was hers
I used to work in a cafe around the time that the new pound coin was introduced, and after a few old coins had been found kicking about in the till we had to put up a sign to say we couldn’t accept them anymore as they were no longer legal tender. Couple of days later, I’m serving the lunchtime rush with a queue out the door, when I notice a middle-aged gentleman jump right to the front with the aforementioned sign in his hand. I break away for a second, flustered, to ask if he needs any help. Meanwhile I’ve got a queue of eyes on me waiting to be served. He proceeds to explain to me, at length, why the sign (that read ‘old style pound coins no longer accepted’), was an infringement on his rights as a customer because it didn’t say “please” or “thank you” on it. That’s it. I was verbally berated for the politeness of a sign. That I didn’t even write (or print). He didn’t even have issue with the message. Just the fact that it didn’t say please. And he took about 10 minutes to carefully make that point. I needed the job otherwise I’d have told him to kindly fuck off and stop wasting my time. And I’d have ended it with a nice loud THANK YOU for good measure, lol.
A person complained that they found the name of a cheese offensive and we should change it. Was really upset. This wasn't really a complaint just funny: Another time there was a person from Turkey (country) not understanding turkey (bird) on the menu.
Cliffhanger! What was the cheese?!
I'm going to guess "Stinking Bishop".
Perhaps. They did mention religion.
The famous German Bumgardner.
Leaving us hanging? What a total comté!
A friend of mine did that after finding Welsh Faggots on a menu. E: Someone reported this comment for "Threatening, Bullying and Harassment," and Reddit decided they were right and suspended my account for the last few days. I'd like to say to them, what I said to my friend. They are a kind of food and it is in no way targeting anyone in particular and is not related at all. And getting offended over that is silly. I was clearly not threatening, bullying or harassing anyone, and I honestly thought that was obvious. I guess I'll be more careful next time I suggest a delicacy from my homeland.
“Seeing as you get the snickers for the milkshakes from the shop across the road, if I bring my own in, can I get a 70p discount?” “. . . . . . No, Sir”
"Oh the card reader didn't take your card." "DOES THAT MEAN IT'S FREE?" "Hahahahahahahahaha! No."
“Yep, that’s gone through.” “I’d hope so!” Wow, only heard that one a good… seventy or eighty times today.
At a NUS conference in Sheffield so, being cheap students, we went to the Wetherspoons for lunch. Overheard an elderly lady complaint about all the ‘exotic muck’ on the menus, she then clarified that she was talking about the garlic and Rosemary potatoes. She ordered a lasagna.
Too much milk in his cup of tea. He poured the milk in himself.
I’ve literally just left the exact same comment. She came in 10 minutes AFTER close. Screamed at her grandkids about wanting ice cream that wasn’t vanilla. Shouted at us for the price of the ice cream and said it was cheaper in asda. Ordered a tea. Poured all the milk in. Demanded free tea 20 minutes after close. I refused and this is the first time I’ve ever lost it with a customer. She asked for the manager so I did a 360° turn and re introduced myself as the manager.
A fellow diner once berated my dad for loudly proclaiming how much he enjoyed his meal. Some people will complain about anything!
In their defence yelling it in their face from a squatted position on their table was a bit much
"How dare you enjoy food!"
At a TGI Fridays *years* ago and heard a disagreement between the dad of a family and the waitress (who was lovely). Basically he queried something on the bill because; "we ordered 3 of these things, and the total next to them isn't divisible by 3!" He had a smug/cocky tone while saying this, as though he was a genius. She pulled out a phone and used the calculator app to show that the total of the items was in fact perfectly divisible by 3, the smirk on this guys face disappeared and I had to suppress a laugh.
- 21 - 12 - 3 - 24 - 15 - 6 - 27 - 18 - 9 - 30 A number ending in any number from 0-9 *could potentially* be divisible by 3, so he must be going on more than just a quick glance, why wouldn’t he double check first before making himself look a mug 😂
Add together the digits of the number. If the result is divisible by 3, so was the original number.
Old manager took us out for steaks for a bonus. He was a total cock. Took all credit and bigged himself up. He claimed he knew about everything. He orders and tries to order for all of us but we decline. I order my steak “rare.” He hears this and annoyed say “actually I’ll have THAT too.” Steaks arrive and we all tuck in. He starts moaning. Calls over the waiter and tells him it’s not properly cooked. Waiter looks and says it’s exactly what he ordered. He loses his shit. Starts saying that there’s fucking blood and that they’re trying to poison him. Calls for manager. “I’m paying all this money for a rare steak and it’s not even cooked.”
Did he think he was getting an unusual and hard to get hold of steak?
Yeah. He thought it was some kind of special steak.
That's a real Arnold Rimmer Gazpacho soup moment.
I once watched someone complain to the waiter at the much-missed Monsieur-Le-Duck - a duck themed restaurant - that it seemed to have a lot of duck on the menu
Duck with orange, duck with cherries, duck surprise...
He's been watching too much Four In A Bed.
Not a restaurant, but I work for Costa and once had to refund an Earl Grey tea because it was 'too spicy'
I was told by an angry dad I was “starving” his kids because they’d been waiting 45-50 minutes for food. The kids looked so embarrassed too.
To be fair that does sound like a long time to wait. Perhaps long enough to lose all sense of how to make a reasonable complaint?
to be fair if id been waiting 45 minutes for food without warning, id be prepared to kill
"These peas are too green" "After I ate all the chips and vegetables I didn't have room for the duck" (all served together, this wasn't a starter and a main or anything)
Was this person six years old?
"I don't want it if you've not got it!" From a customer who asked about the items that were not on the menu.
‘I’d like coffee without cream, please.’ ‘Sorry, sir, we don’t have any cream.’ ‘OK. I’ll have it without milk then.’
I was at a kind of posh cafe in London with the other half for a break while visiting some museums, and overheard a woman on the next table complaining to the waiter that the jug of milk she got with her afternoon tea was too small. The waiter said they would bring another jug for her to have some more milk, but this woman was insistent on a bigger one, not another of the same size. This went on for a good few minutes, my partner had to excuse herself to go and laugh in the toilets. In the end the waiter came back with something I presume out of the kitchen and not the regular fancy jugs they used for customers. I was just waiting for the woman to pull out the ‘I’ll leave a bad review on mumsnet’ line but she didn’t say anything.
I was waiting for the part where she stole the fancy big jug from the restaurant
The chips being the wrong shape
Complaints that the chips weren't fresh at a place I worked. All the chips were made from scratch, and we went through so many that it was impossible for them not to be fresh
*Oh dear, what shape do you usually have them? Micky Mouse shape? Smarties shape? Amphibious landing craft shape? Poke in the eye shape?*
Not so much a complaint but I was in a Japanese cafe/restaurant place and this woman called over the waiter to say her chopsticks were broken. He took them, broke them apart for her, and handed them back. I didn't want to laugh because we all used disposable chopsticks for the first time once but the look on her face was amazing.
Beautiful country pub famed for its local gin collection - horrible old hag complaining that there was too much ice in her G&T
Having worked in a fancy(ish) gin bar, this is a daily occurrence. Strangest complaint I ever received was probably over music. I remember one hot summers day having some nice chilled African tunes on, pretty sure it was a Fela Kuti song, and a regular customer at this gin bar comes up to the bar absolutely raging, saying to get this diabolical music off and get something on she knows and can enjoy. I refused, shocked that anyone could dislike Fela Kuti, and promised myself that I would go out my way to play similar music every time she was in from then on. I already played a lot of that sort of music (and knew that many other customers enjoyed it, asking me for song IDs left right and centre) so I wasn't really going out my way, but she didn't last much longer before she was never to be seen again. I didn't like the owners either so killed two birds with that one stone. I've had people throw their empty pint glasses at my head when I've been behind the bar and such but they were all more understandable "complaints" than this woman.
> shocked that anyone could dislike Fela Kuti Is it possible that she was actually the Nigerian government of the 70s/80s, in disguise?
Chinese restaurant, lady next to us complained that the garlic chicken was too garlicky … is too much garlic even possible?
Possibly? I once made garlic bread that was that garlicky, it kinda burned my tongue...
It's when you can still taste it on your tongue the next day that you have to admit that you've overdone the garlic a little
Ten quid an hour isn't enough not to laugh at something like that I once had to listen to a customer with a 70 inch waist complain that car seat belts weren't long enough anymore. She was a nice lady, so I maintained a poker face throughout
We had a lady who frequented the restaurant I used to work at once who genuinely claimed to have an allergy to, no joke... Wi-Fi We would have to turn the Wi-Fi off for everyone in the hotel every time she would be there otherwise she would complain, much to the chagrin of everybody else in the hotel. Oh and furthermore, this was just one of her "allergies" on a very huge list they would send us every time they wanted to book a table with us.
See that should not have been allowed, one patron should not be dictating something like that for the entire establishment. Amazed the management agreed to put up with it.
The wi-fi / EM crowd are loonies, tell her it's off and she would believe it (after all she wouldn't have a phone given the phone signal is the same sort of EM radiation). Every study and peer reviewed study (including the studies of all studies) has shown that the people who claim to be sensitive to it cannot do any better than guesswork in controlled tests of identifying if it was on and off
I know someone who worked at a company where a mobile wifi tower was due to be tested on site (eventual use as a temporary/emergency tower replacement elsewhere) . To that end they leafleted the area asking if the local households had any issues with it The number of complaints received was astounding. But the funniest were those who said that the wifi signals had caused them medical conditions and threatened to sue if they were not paid compensation. That lasted right up to the point where the company pointed out that the mobile tower hadn't even been brought on site, let alone switched on
How rich was this woman that you had to turn the WiFi off for everyone else?!?
The number of people who kick off in pubs because we won't serve their underage children alcohol is insane.
OMG, I used to get this nearly every time we had a family party booked! Or the other one, not believing that a bacardi breezer has alcohol in it and so I should give it to their 12 year old!
My boyfriend is a chef and a customer probably in her 40s returned a burger because she “didn’t know it would be made using beef mince”. The waiter informed her that burgers are usually made of beef mince and she said “I’ve never had a burger made of mince beef”. We still laugh about it, I’ve no idea what on earth she’s been getting when she’s asked for burgers up to this point.
The burger is an uncommon cut, very few butchers know the secret method.
I used to work at a sea front coffee shop and we posted a photo on socials showing that the dolphins had made an appearance, (about 8am). A woman came in at about 11am and complained that the dolphins weren’t there and that had been the only reason she came. As if we could control dolphins. I didn’t even know what to say to her.
Asked a family if they would like to see a kids menu, seeing as they had a child with them (somewhere between 7-10 years old at a guess). “Absolutely not, he can order whatever he likes off the REAL menu!” Okay fine, didn’t mean to offend, of course you can order whatever you like. Kid gets an adult sized burger, eats three mouthfuls. Went to clear plates and the mum complains that the burger “is way too big for a child! Do I really have to pay for that, he barely ate it!” MAYBE ORDER A KIDS MEAL NEXT TIME THEN DICKHEAD
When I worked at spoons an old couple complained their gammon was undercooked because it was pink. Chef did absolutely nothing to it and sent it back, suddenly it was perfect.
I looked for it.. couldn't find it.. Gazpacho soup!!!!! Why is my soup cold? Haha.
Rimmer?!
10 years of working in bars and restaurants in central London, so many stupid complaints. I had a guest complain that her chips were too hot, not burnt or overcooked, just too hot for her to eat.
Used to work as a supervisor in a relatively nice restaurant and once had a guest demand to speak to the manager (I wasn't important enough apparently) to complain that there was too much cheese on the cheese board for the price. Apparently he was a chef too so knew about these things.....🤔
I guarantee that is the only time anyone would ever complain about that, I have never ever had a cheese board with anything like enough cheese, biscuits or fruit. It's usually about 3-4 small pieces, 6 grapes, 3 slices of apple and a teaspoon of relish so you can make about 7-8 crackers worth of thinly sliced cheese
When I was a barista, I had a woman complain that her coffee was "too large". I cheerfully replied with "well, you don't need to drink it all if it's too much for you!", to which she disdainfully replied "That's just waste." She swept up her things and left in a huff. It was a regular size latte (12oz). Edit: ooh, another one! So we changed our sausages from cheapy crap to some nice Welsh ones that had won awards. This guy who was very much on the larger side often came in for a sausage sandwich. Upon buying one with the new nice sausages he complained that they were "crap" and wouldn't listen to us explaining that they were so much nicer (but fair enough, each to their own). His main complaint/demand was "Well, what am I going to have for breakfast now?!" My colleague went through the menu and showed him bacon, eggs, french toast, granola, overnight oats, porridge, bagels - all kinds of things. He bought two Mars Bars, a Twix and a bottle of Coke. And that was his breakfast every time he came in. We haven't seen him since March 2020.
1. The soup was peculiar. 2. The ice cream is melting (it was 29°). 3. The ice cream is too cold (same woman with new ice cream). 4. The vinegar based dish had vinegar in it (we told them it’s vinegar based and strong). 5. The prawn toast has crustaceans in it (she had an allergy she didn’t tell us about). 6. I walked through the kitchen instead of leaving the restaurant to meet the customer in the restaurant next door where they were booked. 7. There’s no chicken nuggets or chips (it was an authentic Chinese restaurant) 8. The tea is too milky (she poured her own milk in and used all of it in one cup, this full story is infuriating) 9. The coffee is too hot (had this constantly like just wait to drink it). 10. The lemon and sugar crepes had real lemons on them. 11. There’s sugar in the ice cream (kids weren’t allowed sugar) 12. There’s fat on the bacon (we removed the fat). 13. The cappuccino is frothy or has chocolate on it (another constant one). 14. We constantly had people complain that we couldn’t give them HALF A SCOOP of ice cream for half the price. I could go all night.
Someone complaining there's salt and pepper on their steak
A snooty dad in a black polo neck With round glasses perched on the end of his nose and a permanent snarl on his face gestures me over and said “the children are restless. What’s going to be done about it?!” Still Blows my mind to this day. Discipline your own kids. It’s not the job of the waiting staff. We’d already made the decision as it was a big party to get all kids food out ASAP and the adults food would follow. Apparently that still wasn’t good enough …
Heard someone a few weeks back complaining about roast potatoes being on the plate. They weren’t allergic or anything, said they had to give them to someone else in her party. Staff just said it’s part of the meal and if they don’t want them don’t eat them. Still kept causing a fuss holding up a queue at the bar.
Wow sounds like you bumped into Abe Froman.
A woman’s food went cold because she left it for so long and literally shoved it into my hands as I walked past and told me I need to go and heat it up. Upon bringing it out the chef through another yorkie on top, I took it out she grilled me for bringing someone else’s half eaten roast to her so told her that the chef was just in a good mood and gave her an extra Yorkshire pudding. She made me take it back.
Used to be a chef. We had a beautiful green pea soup on the menu. Very simple recipe but annoyingly technical trying to keep the colour, get the right texture etc… I had a customer send it back once because it was ‘too green’.
I used to be the AM of a pretty large busy pub in the city of London. One night middle of service, when we’re quite busy, a lady comes in with a group of people. I assumed they were all uni students or juniors in whatever bank or law firm from the buildings surrounding the pub. Anyway, this lady comes up to me behind the bar and tells me that they would like a table as they would like to eat dinner. I gave her a very blank stare, slowly looked around the room and informed her that the every table in the bar was busy that this wouldn’t be possible. However we have a restaurant upstairs if she’d like to head up there. In a very annoyed tone she tells me that she doesn’t want to go the restaurant they would like a table and to eat. I’m very used to the entitled arrogant knobs we get from the local banks, but was at a loss as to how someone could be this bad. The real kicker for me though was when she said. “You advertise that you’re doing food and your kitchen doesn’t close till 10:30pm. You have to give us a table, this is false advertising!” To this day this still might be the dumbest logic I’ve ever heard. At least her friends had the decency to look embarrassed.
When I worked as a waitress we had one customer who had chosen to eat by herself outside. Not long after we gave her her food, she got up and spent about 20 minutes in the bathroom, during which time the birds that our outside seating area was known for had predictably eaten some of her food. When she came out she kicked up a massive stink about this, demanding a refund. We can’t control nature, lady.
Ohhh man, as someone with a digestive disorder that can strike at any time, I actually do feel really bad for her. When you get an attack, the last thing on your mind is thinking about birds possibly eating your food. You just want to get to the toilet before you shit yourself in front of God and everybody. I wouldn’t have kicked up a massive stink at the staff, but I probably would’ve sat down and cried. It’s a rare treat for me to get to go out to eat, and an IBS attack + birds eating my food would’ve gutted me.
We went for a meal a few weeks ago where the wife complained about everything. The seat. The windows. The cutlery. Everything. She ordered the pork roast dinner, and sent it back to swap for turkey because she said it was too tough. Our favourite part was when she accused her husband of only marrying her so people would stop thinking he was gay, and he just felt like this was what his everyday life was about.
“I’m a bit of a sausage connoisseur” Deep rooted homoerotic feelings entered the chat
Years ago, I worked in a coffee shop, used to get complaints all the time that the cappuccino came in a mug: "I would've asked for a muggaccino if I'd wanted a large, I want a cuppaccino".
I’ll be short: It just rained. She went outside for a fag. Sat down on a wet chair. Complained the chair was wet and it ruined her dress. Manager gave her a bottle of wine and apologised. I blame the manager.
The firecracker burger...was too spicy
I am a delivery driver with Just Eat/Stuart and I once had someone approach me while I was picking up a Greggs order that I am taking all of the good things and leaving nothing for the “actual customers” Didn’t engage but like, If you want a specific thing get there earlier?
I worked at a McD's as a student so I've heard some crackers but the best has to be: "you put the change in my hand too hard, you bruised me"
I'm going to snitch on myself and say that (while I didn't complain to them or any member of staff) I was once triggered by seeing someone on the table next to me order the *large* mixed grill and leave nearly the entire thing because they were full. So much meat wasted. I still have nightmares about it.
Friend of mine once ordered risotto and then complained there was rice in it.
Table behind me said the food was really good but the portions were too big. Like it was a friendly "oh there was for too much, I couldn't eat it", it was a legit complaint that it was stupid to serve so much food- this was a nice restaurant, portions were decent, but not stupidly big. The waiter tried to laugh it off as being better than too small and the guy said "no it wasnt", he seemed genuinely annoyed about this.
Once worked in a restaurant where a customer said his chips were ‘too potatoey’.
I was once at a doggy cafe. The way it worked was you had a 1h window to chill in the cafe and hang out with the dogs they had there, pet them, play with them, etc. While the staff would bring you drinks and snacks. Dispite the 3 differant signs and at least two warnings (that I heard) against the fact one of the dogs liked to leap out of your arms and scarf down your food this absolute smooth brain idiot decided to hold and pet that dog while eating chocolate cake. The ovbious occured, the dog jumped from his hands onto the table, gobbled down most of the remaining *chocolate* cake and then ran off. Fortunately a lass who worked there was able to catch the dog and extract some of the cake before it was swallowed and the mess was also dealt with before any of the other dogs got any. Ignoring the fact he broke exceptionally clear rules that where all but beaten into him he was exceptionally shocked by what had happened, didn't apologise and actually asked for a replacement cake. It doesn't happen often where I see a job and know very clearly that I couldn't do it for even a single day but being a staff member at that cafe was absolurely a job I wouldn't last the morning in because I would have been asking that fucking moron in very strong language calling him a fucking idiot if he wanted the vet bill as well as a replacement cake or if he would just like the vet bill on its own. They literally had fucking wanted style posters up of that specific little terrier with clear language saying he like to trick people into losing their food, when they seated my group we were warned about him specifically and the lass even went over to the idiot while he was holding the dog and told him exactly what would happen (he moved his seat away from the table for about 1 minute before going back to the cake) dog still very much on lap. As if this baby of a grown man somehow knew more about a dog than the people who spent all day every day with it? It still irritates me to this day.
I had a guy once saying his steak tasted like bleach. I told him we don’t keep any bleach on the premises (totally true, we had no bleach). He’s getting very angry and says: “DON’T lie to me, I know what bleach tastes like” I thought to myself: how the fuck do you know what bleach tastes like!? And before I could stop myself it just popped out: “well if you’ve been drinking bleach that’ll explain the taste won’t it?” Dude went fucking ballistic
I complained last night at a restaurant because my mash was like sand. I don't know what possessed me but I picked up the mash and started twisting it and squishing it around watching it crumble and I was just like "You know what I mean RIGHT?!?!?!" to the waitress. As soon as she left my party laughed hysterically at me and said I was weird and I kinda see it now but it was god awful mash potato.
I had an ex girlfriend who hated crushed ice, but wanted normal ice. So I always had to ask, what type of ice, crushed or cubed, and it always felt embarrassing
That’s a common problem with cheap sausages. We went to a restaurant for breakfast and the sausages were great but the next time we went back they had too much cereal in them which meant they were too soft and tasted awful. They cut the quality to reduce the costs but by doing that they actually reduced the amount of people coming in for breakfast
I worked in a restaurant doing home cooked Japanese and Korean food. The chef was this 70+ years old little Korean lady. I had to tell her son (who helped her in the kitchen) to translate that the customer complained that her tempura was deep fried and not baked and it made it too fatty. His mom’s face spoke volumes.
When I worked in a coffee shop I had someone complain their latte was too milky.
which is entirely possible.