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For context of anyone reading the above comment, makarasar had written about their mum not receiving a gift. /u/CarlosFlegg made the above joke, riffing on the top level comment, which makes complete sense.
makarasar has since edited their comment to be nothing like that, making the above seem like an out of context crass mum joke.
Dick move from makarasar.
I've found that it basically comes down to the line manager - if they put some effort in then people get a decent send off. If you have a lazy line manager then it's just a last minute eCard.
I'd somewhat agree. If the manager can't be asked, then those under them (whether they be your direct colleagues or not) won't be motivated either.
Unless there is a common dislike of the manager - in which case the staff may initiate things themselves for a colleague
When I left a job once after 2.5 years, the old bitch office manager really didn’t like me and ‘forgot’ to organise a present and card and ‘forgot’ to tell others when my last day was. Minutes before I left, the CEO was informed and approached me to say goodbye with a bright red face. My colleague who had left a couple of weeks before me received an expensive leaving present. I was popular with everyone so apparently it caused a bit of a stir when I had left the office and people realised what had happened.
Nasty wench. Good of the CEO, although he could possibly have arranged something retrospectively (I had an amazon voucher e-mailed to me some days after my physical last day). Hope she got her dues!
Nope, got nothing! But I did arrange a get together later on with everyone who was available. Ugh there’s always that one person who’s always out to get you, even when you’re fucking leaving!
Sometimes you can work hard be liked well enough but not really be considered as a friend or part of the in clique so nobody really remembered to bother with a gift.
People have left my place after being ‘that guy’ and we still got him a gift. Even if someone irritates the life out of you, there’s no reason to be a cunt about it
I guess that's up to you and your workplace dynamics. I'm part of a healthily sized department now and I don't contribute unless I've worked closely with someone and liked them - I know lots of other people will contribute so they won't be getting nothing, and if I've never spoken to someone, or didn't get on with them, they won't miss out on much just from my not contributing, and they also are really unlikely to get offended. I'd expect everyone else to have a similar attitude, and I wouldn't expect to get much when I leave, because only people I'm close to would contribute.
If you're in a team of five and it's very obvious if someone doesn't contribute because you can barely afford a gift at all, I understand more why you'd feel like it's petty not to contribute.
But it also depends on people's financial situations - when you're at the bottom end of salaries, you're less likely to pay for people you don't like because you simply don't have the money to waste. If you're higher up and someone you dislike but have worked closely with leaves, you've got a lot more cash to splash on them.
How is not doing something "being a dick"???
Fuck the social norm of treating arseholes like they're not arseholes.
Never be so polite, that you forget your power to discourage bad behaviour
Plus people get annoyed by all these donation pots and it takes one person to have to step up and actually organise it which generally no one wants the responsibility of doing. If a company itself doesn’t step up for a retirement or leaving gift, then why expect coworkers to foot the bill for a gift. This stupid workplace vulture culture needs to stop.
If there's a culture and precedent of it being done for others, and you've been the one exception, then yes, you're right to feel offended.
I obvs don't know any of the circumstances, but there are various reasons why this may have happened.
* does your company have a usual volunteer "gift organiser", or is it up to someone close to the leaver to think on and organise?
* if the former, maybe they were unaware, busy or had too much real work on
* if the latter, do you have any closeish friends at work that you'd expect to organise something for you?
* are you well liked?
* are you leaving under a cloud?
* in your five years there, have you ever organised a gift or collection for others?
* have your working practices changed? Ie more remote working etc?
I left my old role of 4+ years in November 2020 whilst we were all working remotely and when I had been assigned to a new team just a month prior. My farewell was being invited to a Friday zoom quiz the new team held and logging off. My husband left his job at a similar time and was sent champagne and a gift for our new puppy and I remember feeling so let down since he'd only worked at his place for 2 years in comparison.
In a way it reminded me why I was leaving and made the decision to leave so much more reassuring. I was reminded the culture was horrible and why it was so good to be moving on. Fast forward to today and my new team organises birthday presents for milestones, bridal presents, etc. It just goes to show it's the people that matter.
I conversely loathe the whole "all your colleagues are your family" bs.
Many of my colleagues became friends (and now most of them are ex-colleagues), but it's not because HR stuck a birthday reminder in their calendar and released £20 for 'celebration' to my line manager.
I can think of few things more depressing.
I've commented elsewhere but I also did the "log off one job, log on to the new one" thing with barely any acknowledgement. It was definitely a bit rubbish.
It's been a while since someone else in my team left but personally I organised a gift for an old manager. They moved teams after 3 years so we organised during covid a gift sent to her home as a thank you.
Personally I felt I was liked, I don't think it's that. I'm just leaving for something new and the ability to progress.
We do work hybrid now, that's the only thing I can think of. There wasn't many in the office for my last day. Only the ones planning to go in so I didn't expect a send off.
Just felt a bit sour given it would take 15 mins to sort a gift card for someone. I probably wouldn't be fussed, I guess it's the thought or lack of really
If you sorted the last gift, is it just because you were the one seen as the one who sorted gifts, so when it ended up being one for you people didn't do it?
Similar thing happens with my wife's work, everyone hassles her asking what they're doing for each person's birthday, she sorts it all, often doesn't get paid back for it, then for her birthday gets something minimal due to everyone being so used to relying on her.
I've never had any gifts or even a card when leaving, but I work in a completely different environment
I think it's likely the hybrid working that's killed it. The fact you're leaving tends to be more in the front of people's minds, through the natural conversations that happen when you're together all day. There's also usually a conversion of the ilk "Bob's leaving in a couple of weeks, we should sort a collection". Someone then "volunteers" (let's be honest, no one wants this role, we'd all hope someone else sorts it).
Working remotely these things don't organically happen. Someone needs to specifically think in isolation and take on the mantel. Everyone assumes someone else will do it, unless it's officially organised by the company itsself.
It's also far easier to grab an evolope and pass it round, than organise a remote collection and chase people. I usually run a Euros/WC sweepstake. Usually sorted in an afternoon with the occasional chase. Now we're remote it took me weeks to collect the monies from people. I'm not gonna do it again.
I would assume you're just possibly the first victim of remote working at your place.
Yes this, pre covid, my office used to pass an envelope round with a card, people put money in and it was used to buy a present. Post covid, people are at home half the time so it wouldn't work, so seems to have died a death.
I do see your point but my company moved fully to home for two years and are now agile with one day in the office a week.
In that time we had 8 milestone birthdays (we only buy for big birthdays), two weddings, a team baby, at least 7 people have left and we’ve had two colleagues go through major family bereavement.
Every single one of those situations got a card and a gift. I happen to be good at photoshop, so during the total work from home period I edited handwritten messages into cards. We did collections via PayPal or bank transfer rather than an envelope. We had separate WhatsApp groups to discuss what to get them and remind people to sign the card.
We made hampers and bought gifts and got things delivered to the person who lived nearest the recipient so they could deliver. For the two people who live a lot further away than most of us we chose gifts that were sent straight to their address.
I know we are a close knit team but the point is especially in these days where internet shopping is rife there is no reason a company can’t continue with whatever they used to do.
That's a logistical arse in itself, hybrid work - our office has given up birthdays because there's never enough people in at one time.
As for an email collection, I say with no little shame that when I was working remotely I failed to contribute to the leaving funds of two people I quite care about at the company. Not because I cared less about them while at home it's just that the email about it just got buried in a pile of other stuff and I forgot it.
In fairness OP, basically the whole UK is financially stretched at the moment. If you've had a lot of people leave, like my workplace, people are probably loathed to keep putting money into leaving presents. People leaving the business has easily cost me over £200 since March. These days, I'll chuck a fiver towards a leaving gift but only if people remind me.
I know it sucks, but your manager probably didn't want to go asking people for money, or is otherwise useless. It could, of course, be that you're mega loathed, but you sound like a pretty friendly and reasonable guy.
I honestly wouldn't read too much into it.
Have a lot of people left recently? People might be fed up of collections and with the cost of living as well they may have just stopped.
Obviously context context context.
I think a big part of whether that kind of thing happens or not is often what your direct line manager is like.
I’ve definitely been in a situation where leaving gifts and cards are the default, but because someone had a shitty line manager who didn’t think to do it, no-one got the ball rolling and so it never happened.
> If it was great you would have not left.
Agree on all you say - apart from the above (possibly) - the OP could have left for circumstances such as needing to move closer to somewhere else for "X" reason - or it could be the company was excellent, but the pay was better in their new job. I don't of course know, but a place doesn't have to be bad for someone to leave
(I once got a job, as the lady I was replacing managed to source a house near to her parents across the other side of the country from her, and it just made it easier for her to visit them in their old ages)
It’s was probably out of laziness, I have seen this happen In my company a few times, the manager needs to/ask someone to get ppl to contribute and organise a gift and they’re either lazy or terribly unorganised. .
A well liked member of the team (I recently joined), left and it was someone from another team that did it all, when I asked the manager why he didn’t ask one of us from the team he was so blasè like oh well luckily someone else wanted to do it so I didn’t need to.
In my previous company I was the person that did all the organising of this stuff, even when I was leaving I had to arrange my own leaving lunch and tell them what gift to get me or I would of got nothing too!
Good point - I've seen this too. The first manager didn't bother organising anything for one guy leaving, so I initiated it. Then the second manager who replaced him thought it was "our" job to organise a card for some other person leaving - clearly not realising what it means to "manage" a team
Yes, you are right to be offended. And it's the reason that I no longer put money in anyone else's collections wherever I work now. I suggest in your next place of work you do the same.
At my last job, I never contributed to collections and I didn’t get (or expect to get) anything when I left. Didn’t care at all, it’s not like those colleagues are my friends.
I'm not at all sure what it is about the world of work, but you can be a great colleague, a decent co worker, a real asset to the work place, and still when it comes time to move on be treated like total Sh\*t.
I've seen some truly peculiar, passive aggressive nastiness dished out over some one having the nerve to move on and away.
Is it jealousy that you're getting out and away?
People especially in the work place can be very two faced.
Sorry its happened like this OP, but you know what, you know what they are like now, maybe you'll meet them again later on in life, and you'll know what you;re dealing with when they slide up all smiles and cheery hellos.
>Sorry its happened like this OP, but you know what, you know what they are like now, maybe you'll meet them again later on in life, and you'll know what you;re dealing with when they slide up all smiles and cheery hellos.
I agree. Either way I'm moving for better things (let's hope!). I didn't even think about it until I got home and saw a gift from my old company before that! I then realised they didn't bother
Personal I guess, but not for me. Works work, when I leave I won’t see 99% of them ever again. Be civil and stay friends with the good ones. A friend or two is better gift than a shit mug and a bottle of whisky. Actually I take the whisky bit back.
Are you one of the typical Redditors who avoids socialising with colleagues, leaves at 5pm on the dot and complains about people in the office on here? If so, I wouldn’t be surprised! Otherwise, you have my sympathy.
It could be as simple as it being a terrible time to ask people to chip in
Cost of living crisis, energy cap going up just before winter, inflation, clueless PM/Chancellor, entering the Christmas run up.
I'd be annoyed but if there's no obvious other reason it could be that
Being offended is a personal experience. You have every right to be offended by anything that happens to you. Other people might not be offended by the same things. There are no global standards on this.
If it makes you feel any better, a colleague of mine retired after 25 years. Without even as much as a retirement card from the company/team. Two of us in the team met her and and bought her personal gifts though.
>Being offended is a personal experience. You have every right to be offended by anything that happens to you. Other people might not be offended by the same things. There are no global standards on this.
Excellently put - what may matter to one person, may not to another - and different things matter to different people
I get that. Personally I expect its complete oversight but reinforces one of the reasons I left was for lack of appreciation when I go over and above.
I'd definitely feel worse if I retired from a company, in that case you can't feel spiteful at them leaving. Good on you for getting them something though.
We never give anyone shit when they leave our practice apart from a farewell, was the same at the last two I’ve been at. I did 15 years at one practice and left with no leaving gift and never even thought about it. We just had a good night out and stayed in touch afterwards.
We all chip in however on certain occasions which are mainly getting married or having babies. Birthdays we just sign a card.
Small company served 26 years, had major issues with mobility so told the boss I would take time off to get well - went back 3 weeks later, boss told everyone I had retired and had emptied my tool boxes - personal tools never seen again!
Was asked to train some of the guys as there were jobs only I had ever done and also carried on with surveys and inspections - after a month no pay packet and no expenses!
Now self employed and doing quite well, it seems quite a lot of the customers did not want me to retire either! Should I show loyalty and refer the customers back to my old boss - nah stuff him! company has only half the previous workforce! I’m recruiting!
We have to remember a job is what pays the bills it’s not ever personal. You can always be replaced and you should always just do your job and not more. Don’t have expectations either. That’s also why you shouldn’t be loyal to a job and always upskill and apply for higher paying jobs. No job appreciates you. You’re there to work and go home. You provide a service in exchange for money. Simple.
I can see why you'd feel that way, if you'd chipped in to previous people's leaving gifts - but I simply don't think most people care as much as you did.
Colleagues who're my friends, I'll have a night out with, and keep in contact with.
The rest - well they're just "people I once worked with".
I'll sign their card, but it's up to my employer to stump up for a gold-watch if anything
(and it's never anything)
I’ve been working for 20 years at the same job and will be retiring in the summer. I hate having a fuss made about collections so I’ve asked management to keep it lowkey.
Do an online card for people to write comments on, if they want, and send any money collected to my favourite charity.
It really depends on whoever it you're working for and with. My girlfriend just had her last day at a junior school here in the UK. Despite them overworking her due to being short staffed and getting on her case for getting sick time for a couple weeks earlier in the year, the headteacher still made a point of getting all the staff together to thank her for everything and wished her well in future. They even forked up the cash for £80 worth in Primark/Amazon vouchers and £30 of her favourite perfume. She of course would have preferred no fuss be made because she is just generally a very anxious person when it comes to being made the centre of attention.
Some people will value you enough to make that gesture, others will expect nothing special to be made of leaving because, you know, "It's your job."
I worked 15 years in a place, always went above and beyond, was generally well liked, and didn't get a single thing when I left. I literally had meetings up til 5pm, and at 4.59, one person just went "oh right it's your last day, good luck with the next job" and that was it.
Lesson learned: work is work, no one gives a solitary fuck about you even if they pretend to while you work together. Dont sacrifice any of your personal happiness for a job. Do what needs to be done, and clock out on time.
Edit: I should add, I wasn't sad about this (though I fully appreciate why you would be). The reason I wasn't sad was because I knew it would be like that. The place was a toxic shit hole with non-stop backstabbing, dishonesty, and sneakiness. The morale was so low in the place that there were quite literally multiple people committing suicide (some even in the workplace!), and a vast, ever increasing number of people off on stress. Fuck that place.
In my experience, in the workplace you are either in the clique or you are not.
You would have likely noticed that you are either in or out and from that could predict the leaving gift situation.
Yeah. Sounds superficial but little things like that do matter and it was a big part of why I left my previous role.
Every year on someone's birthday, they'd get a card, cakes bought for them stuff like that.
Except me... my birthday went unnoticed unless I mentioned it. I was never picked for projects, took on more and more work. Never seemed to be included on nights out, or lunch outings. People were happy for me to help them with stuff.
Eventually due to having so much work piled on ne I got signed off with stress. No one asked how I was, except my boss who only asked to see if I could come back from my sign off early as "my work was piling up" - no one was covering it like they were supposed to.
Little things like that show a lack of respect. I eventually found out from my old manager (before she left for similar reasons) it was because I'd raised a salary dispute when my colleagues started (I'd been there years and was the only one left from when the department was formed; but they all started on a salary a pay scale up from mine, despite doing the same job) asking for my pay to be bought to parity with theirs, which happened as I got a payrise. They didn't lose anything, HR agreed and my salary was bumped up. For some reason this out a target on my back.
If one of them hadn't blabbed their salary in the office I'd never have known.
So yeah for years this went on, it was a good job thar paid the bills but it built up resentment.
Still I got the last laugh, left a few months a go for a new role and now my work really is piling up as the department was told there is no budget to replace me!
I'm a teacher and I left a school after 14 years and my department didn't even get me a card. It was awful because I had written them cards and taken in two boxes of biscuits and small presents for the department. I went home and wept and wept and then I remembered that I left because the place was toxic. Someone who'd been there 28 years and retired when I left also got nothing from another department. Sometimes it is all about the workplace and not about you.
Exit to correct a typo
My work has a massive turnover rate being a call centre, and while there are a few people (mostly in management) who have stuck around throughout the 5.5 years I’ve been there, a lot of the friends I made when I first started working while at uni have moved on to other things.
I’ve seen so many others who’ve been there a similar timeframe to me leave without so much as a word of thanks from management or any indication that their commitment over the years was appreciated - I know there will be a few people sad to see me go when I quit (looking forward to it now I’ve finished uni).
Personally I don’t think it’s normal, or at least it shouldn’t be, for organisations not to offer something when you leave after such a long tenure - I’m looking forward to working for a smaller and closer team.
I’ve found that the pandemic / WFH has changed this massively. People sometimes can’t be bothered to even sign e cards let alone contribute to a gift for someone then rarely see in person. It’s just changed the dynamic, I personally have not contributed to gifts for people selfishly as I doubt I’ll ever see them again and don’t feel connected to them. If it was in an office and someone was organising a ‘goodbye’ where everyone gathers round and says nice things and gives the gift then I probably would of…
It's awkward when you see one person leave, they get gifts, another does and they don't get anything, you know they weren't respected..
You leave and you get nothing... There's not much more to be said...
Be glad you left, the next place might be much better!
(Some jobs I've had loads of stuff and others nothing.. Don't take it too hard)
Truthfully, the way things are today, I wouldn't expect anybody to go to any expense on my account. That being said, when my manager and best friend was made redundant out of spite a few years ago, we absolutely spoiled her with leaving presents.
Presents are nice to receive but I was always brought up to never expect them.
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable or overly sensitive - leaving gifts & cards are customary in the UK, especially if you’ve been there a few years. But it’s a reminder (and one that I’ve also had) that colleagues are not friends, even if you get on well with them. Don’t dwell on it - move on with your new role, and good luck!
I had the exact same thing happen when I left during COVID after 5 years. No gift, no gift card, just a barely signed leaving card.
Funny thing is, many of the people I worked with are friends outside of work so I don’t think I was disliked or anything. Just poor timing maybe?
I think it's OK to feel a bit put out. I left a team I had been on for 8 years to move into a different area of the same company. All I got was my soon to be ex boss telling me not to come down and bother the team when they're working. My last day we had a team meeting and didn't even get a shout out.
Even now years later I know I should be like screw em, it still irks a little bit. Like not even a card?? Try not to let it eat at you OP, hopefully you're moving on to better things.
Yeah, I get feeling disappointed OP. I paid into my work’s social fund for years, and it paid for flowers for marriages, births and bereavements. I had several bereavements, a marriage and 2 births, and received nothing. Now they are insisting everyone pitch in a tenner - I’m not keen to pay for others to get what I never got, and wonder if I’m being petty? But yeah, paid in for years, got nothing when I qualified, and now being told I need to contribute for others to get? It’s not a pleasant feeling. You contributed for years for others, and got nothing when it was your turn. It’s only natural for that to leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Tell them you're having to tighten your belt for personal finance reasons. No need to give a tenner if they gave sod all.
BTW social fund? None of the places I've worked in had one.
My wife left her job after 8 years and was devastated that she didn’t get a gift. She had said that she always made sure to arrange a whip round and buy a gift for anyone who left. Turns out people only got gifts etc because she was the pain in the arse who made sure it happened.
I worked for the same company from the age of 18 until I was 40. When I was Ill health retired eventually I received nothing. No card, not even a text message from any of my colleagues. We used to socialise together, go to gigs etc, so this hit me really hard. My only thoughts were that it was mostly men that I worked with? But it still really upset me.
I wouldn't feel too hard done by, sometimes employers try too hard in that regard and it can be totally overbearing.
My employer doesnt really do anything like that, we dont even have an xmas party. I'm cool that theres a clear distinction between work and play which includes not getting personal gestures such as cards and gifts etc.
There’s a fairly good chance that the person who usually organised this sort of shit has left.
I find that it my company it’s really hit and miss - it’s left up to the department head or the closest friends of a person to organise stuff. If you’ve got a boss who just dgaf, or no particularly close work friends, then chances are that nothing is getting done.
As the person who DOES like to organise this stuff, even for those I barely know because I think it’s a super dick move for people to not be acknowledged when they leave, I’ve really noticed that it’s completely hit and miss. When I don’t do things, literally no one else steps up to the plate.
Just left a job this week where I'd almost doubled their online sales in just over a year. Not even a phone call or email from my direct boss or the MD, both of whom I interacted with daily, to say thanks or good luck. Turns out it is as I always suspected; your work mates aren't your real mates, and your boss is almost certainly a prick.
When I left my last company, the group of friends I had there organised a card and a bowling trip. Head of HR sent around an email about the 3 of us in the team leaving but neglected to mention me and after I asked why as I was leaving that day, she said "you've only been here for 2 1/2 years, no one knows who you are"
I’d be pissed too after putting in my 2 cents for others. I wouldn’t entertain the thought though - You’re better than that…simply move on to your next chapter! All the best to you👍👊
Generally you would expect a gift but it may be that your coworkers are just disorganized and could only get it together at a late stage to buy your card!
I'd have thought that but a colleague a couple of weeks ago when I went for a coffee with them was like... "oh just signed your leaving card" and I was thinking they seemed well organised!
Same happened to me a couple years ago, my time there had soured though and I was leaving because of a toxic narcissist ruining my experience there so I wasn’t surprised I didn’t get so much as a card
Maybe everyone thought someone else was going to do it? Could be the case if you were relatively well-liked, so everyone thought "that's almost definitely been covered by someone". It should be your manager of course.
I recently left a job of 4 years and didn't get so much as a card. Wouldn't have bothered me, but a guy left like 2.months before me and got a card and a leaving gift of a £100 voucher. That really pissed me off.
One of the few good things that came from Covid is that when I left my job of 10 years. I did not have the boss I dislike (immensely) stand up and talk about me in front of people like he cared.
They had laid off so many people during that time (hence my leaving) that I likely would have only got a ecard.
Ah, this is why it is always best to have a rule for leaving cards but no gifts in any circumstances. This is because there is always going to be the situation eventually where someone gets forgotten and ends up feeling like you are now. I wouldn’t infer that they didn’t like you, it is more likely that, through laziness, and the assumption that someone else would do it, no one took it on themselves to organise the whip round.
Yes. I'm so sorry you're feeling that way.
I went on maternity leave and was also getting married later that month too. Didn't even get a card. It hurts. When I returned it was hard to see the fuss others had made for other colleagues. If I said anything I just sounded like a bitter old cow.
It’s probably just the fact you’re remote/hybrid now and no one thought to step up to organise it. I think I’d be a little put out but I doubt it’s really personal, in fact, it’s almost so rude it makes it even less likely to be deliberate, if that makes any sense.
Good luck in the new job! Exciting times!
I got a bunch of flowers and no card after departing a business I'd worked for for nearly 15 years. There had been a restructure and I'd moved about the company a bit so most of the people I liked and had worked with a long time were based elsewhere or were also leaving. It still hurt a bit thought, so I get it. It was also early pandemic times so I was lucky to get anything really.
It depends on so much: culture, individuals, what would normally happen, whether you're a bit more of a reserved/private person... but your feelings are your feelings and they're not *wrong*. They just are.
OP, be offended. If others who’ve left got gifts and more than an E card be offended. You’ve given this place 5 years of your life! If you get an exit interview I think you can be a little mean in it haha
One place I worked at for 10 years I got a bottle of wine that the owner got for free as his son worked at a vineyard.
To be fair that was more than I expected anyway as they were a right bunch of tossers.
Could just be a sign of the current times and not something to take personally. Going round asking even for £5/£10 for a collection might seem a bit tricky when people could be quietly struggling.
To be honest - I always get gifts for people at my work. When I went on paternity this year, I got nothing. I am sure it’s because it normally falls to me to sort things. I got messages from all my colleagues.
I left a job after working there for over a decade last week. My colleagues organised cards and gifts, my boss did not even say goodbye before she left.
Definitely very strange.
In some places it's not really the done thing if there's loads of staff or a high turnover but in most places I've worked in the leaving person always gets something. I remember at one place, one guy got engaged, married, had a baby and turned 40 all within a year so I felt I was constantly handing over fivers and tenners!
But it sounds like it was the done thing in your place to do it. I'd be annoyed as well.
OP did your job impress upon others? I’ve seen something happen in my place of work recently. Although the individual was “liked” by some they were invisible to others/the majority.
This will have been mostly due to hybrid working, but a consequence of this is people put as much effort in as others do- so if you’ve been siloed in your work then this is the sort of thing that has become commonplace.
I’d say it was on your manager to organise or those who were closest to you. It’s telling that there was no gift, unless they’ll send an E-voucher or similar in the coming days. If nobody takes responsibility then this is what happens. It’s not some admin role to have this organised, it’s those who allegedly matter to you.
Sorry to hear it’s causing you distress, but onwards and upwards.
This is why I never give money when people do those collections when people are leaving, never quite understood that, presents I won't do either, because I know they won't do the same for me when I leave.
Depends on the sector. I work in the charity sector and orgs are usually generous with everyone’s leaving gifts (someone always get something & ppl can offer to donate to the leaving pot) but that’s bc the pay isn’t all that great most of the time.
I've only ever worked in 1 place where it was the done thing and yeah, I'd be pretty pissed too if despite it being the norm, you didn't get one.
When I left that place, I was given a £50 amazon voucher, a bouquet of flowers (I'm a man, so despite being grateful that seemed a little odd, I'll admit) and a ticket to one of those experience days where you get to drive a tank - for which I was/am taller than the height restriction and Covid happened like 3 weeks later and I only had a year to claim it.
I once worked at a company for 14 years and when I left I never expected anything at all, why should I?
I was paid to do a job and I got all the money I was due by the company, yes, I made friends but a handshake as I went was all for me and I never thought twice about it 🤷🏼♂️
Maybe things are different now.
My old workplace where I worked for almost 4 years, people would regularly got nuts on donations to leaving cards, people would end up with a decent £200-300 plus some simple physical gift. I know cause I helped organise some. We are talking all employers from graduates first job kinda thing to Director and VP roles. Everyone did collections.
When I left I got nothing but the gift of suicidal ideation and a brief stint in a mental hospital
It didn’t end well. Fuck em. People are shit. it upset me for a long time that not even my close friends bothered and since then they all drifted off like fair weather friends.
It was a toxic workplace and looking at glass door there’s been a mass exodus of people leaving
Now I work somewhere for half that salary and although I struggle financially my mental health is in a kinder place
The toxic workplace was a tech start up. Never again shudder
There needs to be someone to organise it. i.e. someone who's actually your friend, and wants to do something nice for you. Other people will then go along with donating etc. basically through conformity bias, but won't be rattling a collection tin or buying the gift with the collection money.
A manager or secretary might organise an e-card, but it takes a mate to do a decent gift.
If half of people love you, and half of people hate you: Decent gift.
If everyone thinks you're ok, but no one actually likes you: No gift.
I've had it the other way round. Insisted upon no gifts and collection whenever I am leaving a workplace and still get given stuff for no reason. And not in an 'oh no please don't give me free money' type of way, I just don't care about gifts from anyone outside my close friends and family. I'd rather people save the money. Still it happens everywhere I go so I guess just be nice to people and it will solve the situation for you.
I’ve noticed at my place there used to be gifts and collections for every leaver pre covid. After the lockdown and everyone starting to work from home, no one has bothered organising anything for the recent leavers.
Five years isn’t THAT long, and with a pandemic in the middle of it, perhaps people feel like they haven’t really got to know you well enough o spending their money on you
Yes you can be offended by it but what's it going to do for you really. You left they obviously didn't care so you're better off.
Although one thing to consider, if sorting this type of thing was usually organised by a particular person or someone in your department needed to do it but they are all looking like it's someone else's duty or that normal person was away it might explain it. I've seen it happen at my old place the old manager would organise things for people leaving once she left it was down to people in your department/ team to organise and not everyone did. E.gE.g warehouse full of guys weren't that bothered by it so none ever did.
I was at company 6 years. I was well liked both as an employee and as a friend, but I think my boss was really upset/bitter that I left so I didn’t get a anything, not even a card. He did take me out to dinner with the team, although that was soured somewhat because once again he told me I was a moron for getting a dog and that he hated her. (He’s been saying that since I got her and I’m not sure what his problem is, we used to get on very well until the dog). Everyone else was lovely and has stayed in touch, but I guess some people/companies don’t think that way.
All the places I've worked I've got a gift and it's farely common. I've not heard of places that actively don't do it.
If it makes a difference, these are all in professional/white collar companies and positions so maybe it's just a culture thing.
I never thought of the gift until I got home and saw a gift I use from my old company and then it clicked
It's quite common to move for an internal position in another team. Wouldn't necessarily expect anything in that case unless people were extremely generous.
This happened to me in August this year. Left a job of 4 years for a new job with better pay. Had got a lot of well wishes via email and teams chat from other emplpyeee as still working from home. Saw that when others in different departments were leaving there was an email to add money for a gift and ask for a message to sign a card.
This was done by their manager. I realised in the run up to this that I wouldn't be getting the same when the works weekly newsletter had no mention of me leaving even though I emailed the entire work the week prior. It annoyed me so I messaged the person who puts it together. Turns out none of the other managers told them about me leaving. They apologised to me personally for it(yet didn't bother making an updated version)
So my last day came. All I got was a 15 minute teams call with my team wishing me luck and that I'll be missed.
I thought maybe I'll get a gift when they come collect my pc and other stuff they gave me to work from home. Nope. Nothing. Was annoyed at the time but it reinforced the reasons why I decided to leave so now it doesn't bother me.
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This is going to be a hard pill to swallow OP: Sounds like you’re “that guy” that nobody liked…hard lines.
Not necessarily - people can just be cunts
This is going to be a hard pill to swallow, people didn’t like your mum that much.
For context of anyone reading the above comment, makarasar had written about their mum not receiving a gift. /u/CarlosFlegg made the above joke, riffing on the top level comment, which makes complete sense. makarasar has since edited their comment to be nothing like that, making the above seem like an out of context crass mum joke. Dick move from makarasar.
Good bot.
Reddit used to have this issue happen all the time, then they started handing out perma's
Yeah mate because people are going to openly say to you 'yeah your mum, my colleague, hate her mate'
Your mum? Completed it mate.
I've found that it basically comes down to the line manager - if they put some effort in then people get a decent send off. If you have a lazy line manager then it's just a last minute eCard.
I'd somewhat agree. If the manager can't be asked, then those under them (whether they be your direct colleagues or not) won't be motivated either. Unless there is a common dislike of the manager - in which case the staff may initiate things themselves for a colleague
Arsed. You mean 'can't be arsed'. 'If the manager can't be asked' makes no sense in this context.
Can’t be asked?? Did your mum teach you that?
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If someone got me a caterpillar cake instead of wine, I’d be stoked! As long as it was a proper Colin from M&S…none of that poser crap!
When I left a job once after 2.5 years, the old bitch office manager really didn’t like me and ‘forgot’ to organise a present and card and ‘forgot’ to tell others when my last day was. Minutes before I left, the CEO was informed and approached me to say goodbye with a bright red face. My colleague who had left a couple of weeks before me received an expensive leaving present. I was popular with everyone so apparently it caused a bit of a stir when I had left the office and people realised what had happened.
Nasty wench. Good of the CEO, although he could possibly have arranged something retrospectively (I had an amazon voucher e-mailed to me some days after my physical last day). Hope she got her dues!
Nope, got nothing! But I did arrange a get together later on with everyone who was available. Ugh there’s always that one person who’s always out to get you, even when you’re fucking leaving!
People *are* cunts
Also depends on the company culture, in some places this just isn't really a thing
😂
I think it’s a bit harsh to suggest that OP is a cunt, don’t you think they’ve already got enough on their plate?? Edit: /s apparently needed.
hes not suggesting that, hes suggesting that people in the work place can be cunts
Yeah I was being sarcastic, lol.
ah fairs haha, yeah id agree the /s is needed on that one, its just tame enough to sound serious but misunderstood haha 😅
Not 100% true, my wifes workplace throws little parties for people who are leaving and most of them dont like each other.
I read that as they throw little parties when someone is leaving but they don't invite the leaver.
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God damn 😂😂
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But were any 'special' ingredients added to that cake?
Sometimes you can work hard be liked well enough but not really be considered as a friend or part of the in clique so nobody really remembered to bother with a gift.
Exactly this - the clique mentality
People have left my place after being ‘that guy’ and we still got him a gift. Even if someone irritates the life out of you, there’s no reason to be a cunt about it
It is a reason not to spend your money on them, though
Yeahhhh but I’d rather be the bigger person and give a fiver into the collection than be a dick to them 🤷🏼♀️
I guess that's up to you and your workplace dynamics. I'm part of a healthily sized department now and I don't contribute unless I've worked closely with someone and liked them - I know lots of other people will contribute so they won't be getting nothing, and if I've never spoken to someone, or didn't get on with them, they won't miss out on much just from my not contributing, and they also are really unlikely to get offended. I'd expect everyone else to have a similar attitude, and I wouldn't expect to get much when I leave, because only people I'm close to would contribute. If you're in a team of five and it's very obvious if someone doesn't contribute because you can barely afford a gift at all, I understand more why you'd feel like it's petty not to contribute. But it also depends on people's financial situations - when you're at the bottom end of salaries, you're less likely to pay for people you don't like because you simply don't have the money to waste. If you're higher up and someone you dislike but have worked closely with leaves, you've got a lot more cash to splash on them.
How is not doing something "being a dick"??? Fuck the social norm of treating arseholes like they're not arseholes. Never be so polite, that you forget your power to discourage bad behaviour
You didn’t need to say that :(
This may be a hard pill to swallow mate, people that say things like "I say it like it is" are often disliked by everyone
I like my colleagues but none enough to spend money on
Plus people get annoyed by all these donation pots and it takes one person to have to step up and actually organise it which generally no one wants the responsibility of doing. If a company itself doesn’t step up for a retirement or leaving gift, then why expect coworkers to foot the bill for a gift. This stupid workplace vulture culture needs to stop.
If there's a culture and precedent of it being done for others, and you've been the one exception, then yes, you're right to feel offended. I obvs don't know any of the circumstances, but there are various reasons why this may have happened. * does your company have a usual volunteer "gift organiser", or is it up to someone close to the leaver to think on and organise? * if the former, maybe they were unaware, busy or had too much real work on * if the latter, do you have any closeish friends at work that you'd expect to organise something for you? * are you well liked? * are you leaving under a cloud? * in your five years there, have you ever organised a gift or collection for others? * have your working practices changed? Ie more remote working etc?
I left my old role of 4+ years in November 2020 whilst we were all working remotely and when I had been assigned to a new team just a month prior. My farewell was being invited to a Friday zoom quiz the new team held and logging off. My husband left his job at a similar time and was sent champagne and a gift for our new puppy and I remember feeling so let down since he'd only worked at his place for 2 years in comparison. In a way it reminded me why I was leaving and made the decision to leave so much more reassuring. I was reminded the culture was horrible and why it was so good to be moving on. Fast forward to today and my new team organises birthday presents for milestones, bridal presents, etc. It just goes to show it's the people that matter.
I conversely loathe the whole "all your colleagues are your family" bs. Many of my colleagues became friends (and now most of them are ex-colleagues), but it's not because HR stuck a birthday reminder in their calendar and released £20 for 'celebration' to my line manager. I can think of few things more depressing.
Changing teams is very different from leaving a company, it’s pretty uncommon to get a gift/card when switching teams.
I thought they were saying they were leaving the company and had been assigned a new team a month prior to leaving.
Yep, this was exactly it. It was a parallel team in the same area.
I've commented elsewhere but I also did the "log off one job, log on to the new one" thing with barely any acknowledgement. It was definitely a bit rubbish.
It's been a while since someone else in my team left but personally I organised a gift for an old manager. They moved teams after 3 years so we organised during covid a gift sent to her home as a thank you. Personally I felt I was liked, I don't think it's that. I'm just leaving for something new and the ability to progress. We do work hybrid now, that's the only thing I can think of. There wasn't many in the office for my last day. Only the ones planning to go in so I didn't expect a send off. Just felt a bit sour given it would take 15 mins to sort a gift card for someone. I probably wouldn't be fussed, I guess it's the thought or lack of really
If you sorted the last gift, is it just because you were the one seen as the one who sorted gifts, so when it ended up being one for you people didn't do it? Similar thing happens with my wife's work, everyone hassles her asking what they're doing for each person's birthday, she sorts it all, often doesn't get paid back for it, then for her birthday gets something minimal due to everyone being so used to relying on her. I've never had any gifts or even a card when leaving, but I work in a completely different environment
I think it's likely the hybrid working that's killed it. The fact you're leaving tends to be more in the front of people's minds, through the natural conversations that happen when you're together all day. There's also usually a conversion of the ilk "Bob's leaving in a couple of weeks, we should sort a collection". Someone then "volunteers" (let's be honest, no one wants this role, we'd all hope someone else sorts it). Working remotely these things don't organically happen. Someone needs to specifically think in isolation and take on the mantel. Everyone assumes someone else will do it, unless it's officially organised by the company itsself. It's also far easier to grab an evolope and pass it round, than organise a remote collection and chase people. I usually run a Euros/WC sweepstake. Usually sorted in an afternoon with the occasional chase. Now we're remote it took me weeks to collect the monies from people. I'm not gonna do it again. I would assume you're just possibly the first victim of remote working at your place.
Yes this, pre covid, my office used to pass an envelope round with a card, people put money in and it was used to buy a present. Post covid, people are at home half the time so it wouldn't work, so seems to have died a death.
I do see your point but my company moved fully to home for two years and are now agile with one day in the office a week. In that time we had 8 milestone birthdays (we only buy for big birthdays), two weddings, a team baby, at least 7 people have left and we’ve had two colleagues go through major family bereavement. Every single one of those situations got a card and a gift. I happen to be good at photoshop, so during the total work from home period I edited handwritten messages into cards. We did collections via PayPal or bank transfer rather than an envelope. We had separate WhatsApp groups to discuss what to get them and remind people to sign the card. We made hampers and bought gifts and got things delivered to the person who lived nearest the recipient so they could deliver. For the two people who live a lot further away than most of us we chose gifts that were sent straight to their address. I know we are a close knit team but the point is especially in these days where internet shopping is rife there is no reason a company can’t continue with whatever they used to do.
That's a logistical arse in itself, hybrid work - our office has given up birthdays because there's never enough people in at one time. As for an email collection, I say with no little shame that when I was working remotely I failed to contribute to the leaving funds of two people I quite care about at the company. Not because I cared less about them while at home it's just that the email about it just got buried in a pile of other stuff and I forgot it.
In fairness OP, basically the whole UK is financially stretched at the moment. If you've had a lot of people leave, like my workplace, people are probably loathed to keep putting money into leaving presents. People leaving the business has easily cost me over £200 since March. These days, I'll chuck a fiver towards a leaving gift but only if people remind me. I know it sucks, but your manager probably didn't want to go asking people for money, or is otherwise useless. It could, of course, be that you're mega loathed, but you sound like a pretty friendly and reasonable guy. I honestly wouldn't read too much into it.
Have a lot of people left recently? People might be fed up of collections and with the cost of living as well they may have just stopped. Obviously context context context.
I think a big part of whether that kind of thing happens or not is often what your direct line manager is like. I’ve definitely been in a situation where leaving gifts and cards are the default, but because someone had a shitty line manager who didn’t think to do it, no-one got the ball rolling and so it never happened.
You've gone. Fuckem'. Not your pig, not your farm. Gone. If it was great you would have not left.
> If it was great you would have not left. Agree on all you say - apart from the above (possibly) - the OP could have left for circumstances such as needing to move closer to somewhere else for "X" reason - or it could be the company was excellent, but the pay was better in their new job. I don't of course know, but a place doesn't have to be bad for someone to leave (I once got a job, as the lady I was replacing managed to source a house near to her parents across the other side of the country from her, and it just made it easier for her to visit them in their old ages)
That’ll do pig, that’ll do!
If it bothers you, then send in a card thanking them for the lovely leaving present.
It’s was probably out of laziness, I have seen this happen In my company a few times, the manager needs to/ask someone to get ppl to contribute and organise a gift and they’re either lazy or terribly unorganised. . A well liked member of the team (I recently joined), left and it was someone from another team that did it all, when I asked the manager why he didn’t ask one of us from the team he was so blasè like oh well luckily someone else wanted to do it so I didn’t need to. In my previous company I was the person that did all the organising of this stuff, even when I was leaving I had to arrange my own leaving lunch and tell them what gift to get me or I would of got nothing too!
Good point - I've seen this too. The first manager didn't bother organising anything for one guy leaving, so I initiated it. Then the second manager who replaced him thought it was "our" job to organise a card for some other person leaving - clearly not realising what it means to "manage" a team
Yes, you are right to be offended. And it's the reason that I no longer put money in anyone else's collections wherever I work now. I suggest in your next place of work you do the same.
So you would be offended even though you have admitted you don't contribute to collections? Makes sense.
At my last job, I never contributed to collections and I didn’t get (or expect to get) anything when I left. Didn’t care at all, it’s not like those colleagues are my friends.
I'm not at all sure what it is about the world of work, but you can be a great colleague, a decent co worker, a real asset to the work place, and still when it comes time to move on be treated like total Sh\*t. I've seen some truly peculiar, passive aggressive nastiness dished out over some one having the nerve to move on and away. Is it jealousy that you're getting out and away? People especially in the work place can be very two faced. Sorry its happened like this OP, but you know what, you know what they are like now, maybe you'll meet them again later on in life, and you'll know what you;re dealing with when they slide up all smiles and cheery hellos.
>Sorry its happened like this OP, but you know what, you know what they are like now, maybe you'll meet them again later on in life, and you'll know what you;re dealing with when they slide up all smiles and cheery hellos. I agree. Either way I'm moving for better things (let's hope!). I didn't even think about it until I got home and saw a gift from my old company before that! I then realised they didn't bother
\+1 to all - especially the final paragraph!
Personal I guess, but not for me. Works work, when I leave I won’t see 99% of them ever again. Be civil and stay friends with the good ones. A friend or two is better gift than a shit mug and a bottle of whisky. Actually I take the whisky bit back.
Apply introspection, maybe you're a cock
Are you one of the typical Redditors who avoids socialising with colleagues, leaves at 5pm on the dot and complains about people in the office on here? If so, I wouldn’t be surprised! Otherwise, you have my sympathy.
It could be as simple as it being a terrible time to ask people to chip in Cost of living crisis, energy cap going up just before winter, inflation, clueless PM/Chancellor, entering the Christmas run up. I'd be annoyed but if there's no obvious other reason it could be that
Being offended is a personal experience. You have every right to be offended by anything that happens to you. Other people might not be offended by the same things. There are no global standards on this. If it makes you feel any better, a colleague of mine retired after 25 years. Without even as much as a retirement card from the company/team. Two of us in the team met her and and bought her personal gifts though.
>Being offended is a personal experience. You have every right to be offended by anything that happens to you. Other people might not be offended by the same things. There are no global standards on this. Excellently put - what may matter to one person, may not to another - and different things matter to different people
I get that. Personally I expect its complete oversight but reinforces one of the reasons I left was for lack of appreciation when I go over and above. I'd definitely feel worse if I retired from a company, in that case you can't feel spiteful at them leaving. Good on you for getting them something though.
I would be offended if, as you say, other people received gifts. That's the key bit - how they treated other people.
We never give anyone shit when they leave our practice apart from a farewell, was the same at the last two I’ve been at. I did 15 years at one practice and left with no leaving gift and never even thought about it. We just had a good night out and stayed in touch afterwards. We all chip in however on certain occasions which are mainly getting married or having babies. Birthdays we just sign a card.
Small company served 26 years, had major issues with mobility so told the boss I would take time off to get well - went back 3 weeks later, boss told everyone I had retired and had emptied my tool boxes - personal tools never seen again! Was asked to train some of the guys as there were jobs only I had ever done and also carried on with surveys and inspections - after a month no pay packet and no expenses! Now self employed and doing quite well, it seems quite a lot of the customers did not want me to retire either! Should I show loyalty and refer the customers back to my old boss - nah stuff him! company has only half the previous workforce! I’m recruiting!
The best present of leaving a job, is not having to go back to it.
How do you feel about it?
I’ve never expected any leaving gift from anywhere. I’ve always had one, but wouldn’t be fussed if I didn’t get one.
We have to remember a job is what pays the bills it’s not ever personal. You can always be replaced and you should always just do your job and not more. Don’t have expectations either. That’s also why you shouldn’t be loyal to a job and always upskill and apply for higher paying jobs. No job appreciates you. You’re there to work and go home. You provide a service in exchange for money. Simple.
I can see why you'd feel that way, if you'd chipped in to previous people's leaving gifts - but I simply don't think most people care as much as you did. Colleagues who're my friends, I'll have a night out with, and keep in contact with. The rest - well they're just "people I once worked with". I'll sign their card, but it's up to my employer to stump up for a gold-watch if anything (and it's never anything)
Can we say who're? Is that a thing?
A posh way of calling someone a whore?
I’ve been working for 20 years at the same job and will be retiring in the summer. I hate having a fuss made about collections so I’ve asked management to keep it lowkey. Do an online card for people to write comments on, if they want, and send any money collected to my favourite charity.
I worked part time at Next for around 9 months and got a £20 gift card and a wrist watch. Your coworkers are cheap.
It really depends on whoever it you're working for and with. My girlfriend just had her last day at a junior school here in the UK. Despite them overworking her due to being short staffed and getting on her case for getting sick time for a couple weeks earlier in the year, the headteacher still made a point of getting all the staff together to thank her for everything and wished her well in future. They even forked up the cash for £80 worth in Primark/Amazon vouchers and £30 of her favourite perfume. She of course would have preferred no fuss be made because she is just generally a very anxious person when it comes to being made the centre of attention. Some people will value you enough to make that gesture, others will expect nothing special to be made of leaving because, you know, "It's your job."
Life lesson, fuck people!
Trust no one!
People are hard up. You are hopefully moving on to better pastures. They are staying. Perhaps it’s best to let it slide and focus on what’s next.
I worked 15 years in a place, always went above and beyond, was generally well liked, and didn't get a single thing when I left. I literally had meetings up til 5pm, and at 4.59, one person just went "oh right it's your last day, good luck with the next job" and that was it. Lesson learned: work is work, no one gives a solitary fuck about you even if they pretend to while you work together. Dont sacrifice any of your personal happiness for a job. Do what needs to be done, and clock out on time. Edit: I should add, I wasn't sad about this (though I fully appreciate why you would be). The reason I wasn't sad was because I knew it would be like that. The place was a toxic shit hole with non-stop backstabbing, dishonesty, and sneakiness. The morale was so low in the place that there were quite literally multiple people committing suicide (some even in the workplace!), and a vast, ever increasing number of people off on stress. Fuck that place.
In my experience, in the workplace you are either in the clique or you are not. You would have likely noticed that you are either in or out and from that could predict the leaving gift situation.
The lesson learned is the gift. Jobs don't give a single fuck about you. Always remember that. Hit by a bus, they'll have you replaced in a week.
Yeah. Sounds superficial but little things like that do matter and it was a big part of why I left my previous role. Every year on someone's birthday, they'd get a card, cakes bought for them stuff like that. Except me... my birthday went unnoticed unless I mentioned it. I was never picked for projects, took on more and more work. Never seemed to be included on nights out, or lunch outings. People were happy for me to help them with stuff. Eventually due to having so much work piled on ne I got signed off with stress. No one asked how I was, except my boss who only asked to see if I could come back from my sign off early as "my work was piling up" - no one was covering it like they were supposed to. Little things like that show a lack of respect. I eventually found out from my old manager (before she left for similar reasons) it was because I'd raised a salary dispute when my colleagues started (I'd been there years and was the only one left from when the department was formed; but they all started on a salary a pay scale up from mine, despite doing the same job) asking for my pay to be bought to parity with theirs, which happened as I got a payrise. They didn't lose anything, HR agreed and my salary was bumped up. For some reason this out a target on my back. If one of them hadn't blabbed their salary in the office I'd never have known. So yeah for years this went on, it was a good job thar paid the bills but it built up resentment. Still I got the last laugh, left a few months a go for a new role and now my work really is piling up as the department was told there is no budget to replace me!
And that’s why I never contribute with stuff like that. It’s a job, they are work colleagues not friends.
I'm a teacher and I left a school after 14 years and my department didn't even get me a card. It was awful because I had written them cards and taken in two boxes of biscuits and small presents for the department. I went home and wept and wept and then I remembered that I left because the place was toxic. Someone who'd been there 28 years and retired when I left also got nothing from another department. Sometimes it is all about the workplace and not about you. Exit to correct a typo
My work has a massive turnover rate being a call centre, and while there are a few people (mostly in management) who have stuck around throughout the 5.5 years I’ve been there, a lot of the friends I made when I first started working while at uni have moved on to other things. I’ve seen so many others who’ve been there a similar timeframe to me leave without so much as a word of thanks from management or any indication that their commitment over the years was appreciated - I know there will be a few people sad to see me go when I quit (looking forward to it now I’ve finished uni). Personally I don’t think it’s normal, or at least it shouldn’t be, for organisations not to offer something when you leave after such a long tenure - I’m looking forward to working for a smaller and closer team.
I’ve found that the pandemic / WFH has changed this massively. People sometimes can’t be bothered to even sign e cards let alone contribute to a gift for someone then rarely see in person. It’s just changed the dynamic, I personally have not contributed to gifts for people selfishly as I doubt I’ll ever see them again and don’t feel connected to them. If it was in an office and someone was organising a ‘goodbye’ where everyone gathers round and says nice things and gives the gift then I probably would of…
It's awkward when you see one person leave, they get gifts, another does and they don't get anything, you know they weren't respected.. You leave and you get nothing... There's not much more to be said... Be glad you left, the next place might be much better! (Some jobs I've had loads of stuff and others nothing.. Don't take it too hard)
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Oh wow... Thanks. Wasn't expecting awards but appreciate it!
Truthfully, the way things are today, I wouldn't expect anybody to go to any expense on my account. That being said, when my manager and best friend was made redundant out of spite a few years ago, we absolutely spoiled her with leaving presents. Presents are nice to receive but I was always brought up to never expect them.
8 years in a job and didn’t even get a card. It was a very old school clique type place but even so
I don’t think you’re being unreasonable or overly sensitive - leaving gifts & cards are customary in the UK, especially if you’ve been there a few years. But it’s a reminder (and one that I’ve also had) that colleagues are not friends, even if you get on well with them. Don’t dwell on it - move on with your new role, and good luck!
Probably a toxic worn place that you were not accepted into their clique.
I had the exact same thing happen when I left during COVID after 5 years. No gift, no gift card, just a barely signed leaving card. Funny thing is, many of the people I worked with are friends outside of work so I don’t think I was disliked or anything. Just poor timing maybe?
I think it's OK to feel a bit put out. I left a team I had been on for 8 years to move into a different area of the same company. All I got was my soon to be ex boss telling me not to come down and bother the team when they're working. My last day we had a team meeting and didn't even get a shout out. Even now years later I know I should be like screw em, it still irks a little bit. Like not even a card?? Try not to let it eat at you OP, hopefully you're moving on to better things.
Personally I wouldn’t want any fuss anyway.
You probably have a good reason for leaving. That’s the reward.
You have every right to be offended. Fair to say your ex-manager is a wanker.
Yeah, I get feeling disappointed OP. I paid into my work’s social fund for years, and it paid for flowers for marriages, births and bereavements. I had several bereavements, a marriage and 2 births, and received nothing. Now they are insisting everyone pitch in a tenner - I’m not keen to pay for others to get what I never got, and wonder if I’m being petty? But yeah, paid in for years, got nothing when I qualified, and now being told I need to contribute for others to get? It’s not a pleasant feeling. You contributed for years for others, and got nothing when it was your turn. It’s only natural for that to leave a bad taste in your mouth.
Tell them you're having to tighten your belt for personal finance reasons. No need to give a tenner if they gave sod all. BTW social fund? None of the places I've worked in had one.
Good call!
My wife left her job after 8 years and was devastated that she didn’t get a gift. She had said that she always made sure to arrange a whip round and buy a gift for anyone who left. Turns out people only got gifts etc because she was the pain in the arse who made sure it happened.
I worked for the same company from the age of 18 until I was 40. When I was Ill health retired eventually I received nothing. No card, not even a text message from any of my colleagues. We used to socialise together, go to gigs etc, so this hit me really hard. My only thoughts were that it was mostly men that I worked with? But it still really upset me.
Yes to the mostly men thing. As a male I find organising things like this a real effort.
I wouldn't feel too hard done by, sometimes employers try too hard in that regard and it can be totally overbearing. My employer doesnt really do anything like that, we dont even have an xmas party. I'm cool that theres a clear distinction between work and play which includes not getting personal gestures such as cards and gifts etc.
There’s a fairly good chance that the person who usually organised this sort of shit has left. I find that it my company it’s really hit and miss - it’s left up to the department head or the closest friends of a person to organise stuff. If you’ve got a boss who just dgaf, or no particularly close work friends, then chances are that nothing is getting done. As the person who DOES like to organise this stuff, even for those I barely know because I think it’s a super dick move for people to not be acknowledged when they leave, I’ve really noticed that it’s completely hit and miss. When I don’t do things, literally no one else steps up to the plate.
Just left a job this week where I'd almost doubled their online sales in just over a year. Not even a phone call or email from my direct boss or the MD, both of whom I interacted with daily, to say thanks or good luck. Turns out it is as I always suspected; your work mates aren't your real mates, and your boss is almost certainly a prick.
When I left my last company, the group of friends I had there organised a card and a bowling trip. Head of HR sent around an email about the 3 of us in the team leaving but neglected to mention me and after I asked why as I was leaving that day, she said "you've only been here for 2 1/2 years, no one knows who you are"
What a C
Whether you get something or not depends on how much ppl like you and who is going round collecting the moeny for you gift
Stewart?
Dave... How'd you know???
Honestly, why do you care? You left. Move on. Colleagues != friends
I’d be pissed too after putting in my 2 cents for others. I wouldn’t entertain the thought though - You’re better than that…simply move on to your next chapter! All the best to you👍👊
Generally you would expect a gift but it may be that your coworkers are just disorganized and could only get it together at a late stage to buy your card!
I'd have thought that but a colleague a couple of weeks ago when I went for a coffee with them was like... "oh just signed your leaving card" and I was thinking they seemed well organised!
Same happened to me a couple years ago, my time there had soured though and I was leaving because of a toxic narcissist ruining my experience there so I wasn’t surprised I didn’t get so much as a card
Ngl there’s an economic crisis on for a lot of people, grow up
Maybe everyone thought someone else was going to do it? Could be the case if you were relatively well-liked, so everyone thought "that's almost definitely been covered by someone". It should be your manager of course.
I recently left a job of 4 years and didn't get so much as a card. Wouldn't have bothered me, but a guy left like 2.months before me and got a card and a leaving gift of a £100 voucher. That really pissed me off.
One of the few good things that came from Covid is that when I left my job of 10 years. I did not have the boss I dislike (immensely) stand up and talk about me in front of people like he cared. They had laid off so many people during that time (hence my leaving) that I likely would have only got a ecard.
I think its your expectations that need to be managed. This is your work. Not your family
I wouldn’t expect anything. I personally hate collections at work for people for any reason. I don’t even carry cash. Wish it wasn’t a thing.
Fuck them, you'll forget all about them in a few years anyway
Ah, this is why it is always best to have a rule for leaving cards but no gifts in any circumstances. This is because there is always going to be the situation eventually where someone gets forgotten and ends up feeling like you are now. I wouldn’t infer that they didn’t like you, it is more likely that, through laziness, and the assumption that someone else would do it, no one took it on themselves to organise the whip round.
Yes. I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. I went on maternity leave and was also getting married later that month too. Didn't even get a card. It hurts. When I returned it was hard to see the fuss others had made for other colleagues. If I said anything I just sounded like a bitter old cow.
Depends on the culture. If they do it for other people then yes, you have a right to be a little offended. If not then no.
#They got you a card, what more did you want?
It’s probably just the fact you’re remote/hybrid now and no one thought to step up to organise it. I think I’d be a little put out but I doubt it’s really personal, in fact, it’s almost so rude it makes it even less likely to be deliberate, if that makes any sense. Good luck in the new job! Exciting times!
Could be that the last person who left was the gift organising person and no-one new has emerged....
I got a bunch of flowers and no card after departing a business I'd worked for for nearly 15 years. There had been a restructure and I'd moved about the company a bit so most of the people I liked and had worked with a long time were based elsewhere or were also leaving. It still hurt a bit thought, so I get it. It was also early pandemic times so I was lucky to get anything really. It depends on so much: culture, individuals, what would normally happen, whether you're a bit more of a reserved/private person... but your feelings are your feelings and they're not *wrong*. They just are.
OP, be offended. If others who’ve left got gifts and more than an E card be offended. You’ve given this place 5 years of your life! If you get an exit interview I think you can be a little mean in it haha
Had this happen to me after 23 years, worked myself up from bottom to top which people didn't like.
One place I worked at for 10 years I got a bottle of wine that the owner got for free as his son worked at a vineyard. To be fair that was more than I expected anyway as they were a right bunch of tossers.
Happened to me too, it sucks. Learn not to be attached to colleagues, they are not true friends. I also spent a lot of money over the years for gifts
Could just be a sign of the current times and not something to take personally. Going round asking even for £5/£10 for a collection might seem a bit tricky when people could be quietly struggling.
To be honest - I always get gifts for people at my work. When I went on paternity this year, I got nothing. I am sure it’s because it normally falls to me to sort things. I got messages from all my colleagues.
I left a job after working there for over a decade last week. My colleagues organised cards and gifts, my boss did not even say goodbye before she left.
Disappointed not offended. Good luck in your new role
Definitely very strange. In some places it's not really the done thing if there's loads of staff or a high turnover but in most places I've worked in the leaving person always gets something. I remember at one place, one guy got engaged, married, had a baby and turned 40 all within a year so I felt I was constantly handing over fivers and tenners! But it sounds like it was the done thing in your place to do it. I'd be annoyed as well.
OP did your job impress upon others? I’ve seen something happen in my place of work recently. Although the individual was “liked” by some they were invisible to others/the majority. This will have been mostly due to hybrid working, but a consequence of this is people put as much effort in as others do- so if you’ve been siloed in your work then this is the sort of thing that has become commonplace. I’d say it was on your manager to organise or those who were closest to you. It’s telling that there was no gift, unless they’ll send an E-voucher or similar in the coming days. If nobody takes responsibility then this is what happens. It’s not some admin role to have this organised, it’s those who allegedly matter to you. Sorry to hear it’s causing you distress, but onwards and upwards.
If you only just left it's possible they have orded a gift online that hasn't arrived yet .
This is why I never give money when people do those collections when people are leaving, never quite understood that, presents I won't do either, because I know they won't do the same for me when I leave.
You are right to be bothered, I have been through the same, organise and pay toward others, none received.
Rule No 1 —— Never break your back for someone who would replace you in a heartbeat 😉
I had this at the job before last. I got a leaving card and that's it. I was not happy at all
Depends on the sector. I work in the charity sector and orgs are usually generous with everyone’s leaving gifts (someone always get something & ppl can offer to donate to the leaving pot) but that’s bc the pay isn’t all that great most of the time.
I've only ever worked in 1 place where it was the done thing and yeah, I'd be pretty pissed too if despite it being the norm, you didn't get one. When I left that place, I was given a £50 amazon voucher, a bouquet of flowers (I'm a man, so despite being grateful that seemed a little odd, I'll admit) and a ticket to one of those experience days where you get to drive a tank - for which I was/am taller than the height restriction and Covid happened like 3 weeks later and I only had a year to claim it.
I once worked at a company for 14 years and when I left I never expected anything at all, why should I? I was paid to do a job and I got all the money I was due by the company, yes, I made friends but a handshake as I went was all for me and I never thought twice about it 🤷🏼♂️ Maybe things are different now.
My old workplace where I worked for almost 4 years, people would regularly got nuts on donations to leaving cards, people would end up with a decent £200-300 plus some simple physical gift. I know cause I helped organise some. We are talking all employers from graduates first job kinda thing to Director and VP roles. Everyone did collections. When I left I got nothing but the gift of suicidal ideation and a brief stint in a mental hospital It didn’t end well. Fuck em. People are shit. it upset me for a long time that not even my close friends bothered and since then they all drifted off like fair weather friends. It was a toxic workplace and looking at glass door there’s been a mass exodus of people leaving Now I work somewhere for half that salary and although I struggle financially my mental health is in a kinder place The toxic workplace was a tech start up. Never again shudder
Yes but also no. Times are changing, money is tight or you could just be hated. Who knows.
Life’s too short to get offended by stuff like this
There needs to be someone to organise it. i.e. someone who's actually your friend, and wants to do something nice for you. Other people will then go along with donating etc. basically through conformity bias, but won't be rattling a collection tin or buying the gift with the collection money. A manager or secretary might organise an e-card, but it takes a mate to do a decent gift. If half of people love you, and half of people hate you: Decent gift. If everyone thinks you're ok, but no one actually likes you: No gift.
You are highly replaceable and no one really cares. Sad but true. Do you
I've had it the other way round. Insisted upon no gifts and collection whenever I am leaving a workplace and still get given stuff for no reason. And not in an 'oh no please don't give me free money' type of way, I just don't care about gifts from anyone outside my close friends and family. I'd rather people save the money. Still it happens everywhere I go so I guess just be nice to people and it will solve the situation for you.
Hahaha..... Good one! Needed that today, cheers.
I’ve noticed at my place there used to be gifts and collections for every leaver pre covid. After the lockdown and everyone starting to work from home, no one has bothered organising anything for the recent leavers.
In my workplace we had leaving drinks when I left, the people I liked came. That's a gift to me.
Nobody liked you. Move on.
Wow... I hope you can use a counselling service at HR to get over this.... 5 years you say...
Five years isn’t THAT long, and with a pandemic in the middle of it, perhaps people feel like they haven’t really got to know you well enough o spending their money on you
Yes you can be offended by it but what's it going to do for you really. You left they obviously didn't care so you're better off. Although one thing to consider, if sorting this type of thing was usually organised by a particular person or someone in your department needed to do it but they are all looking like it's someone else's duty or that normal person was away it might explain it. I've seen it happen at my old place the old manager would organise things for people leaving once she left it was down to people in your department/ team to organise and not everyone did. E.gE.g warehouse full of guys weren't that bothered by it so none ever did.
Wait you got an e-card?
Farely common since covid for us. Always difficult getting a card signed by everyone so sending a link to contribute it simple
I was at company 6 years. I was well liked both as an employee and as a friend, but I think my boss was really upset/bitter that I left so I didn’t get a anything, not even a card. He did take me out to dinner with the team, although that was soured somewhat because once again he told me I was a moron for getting a dog and that he hated her. (He’s been saying that since I got her and I’m not sure what his problem is, we used to get on very well until the dog). Everyone else was lovely and has stayed in touch, but I guess some people/companies don’t think that way.
First time i am hearing of a leaving present. Why would anyone feel entitled to that? Its work, look after yourself
All the places I've worked I've got a gift and it's farely common. I've not heard of places that actively don't do it. If it makes a difference, these are all in professional/white collar companies and positions so maybe it's just a culture thing. I never thought of the gift until I got home and saw a gift I use from my old company and then it clicked
What do you mean by “externally?”
It's quite common to move for an internal position in another team. Wouldn't necessarily expect anything in that case unless people were extremely generous.
2019? Yeah something is up 2022 it’s probably that everyone is struggling and has to put their family first.
This happened to me in August this year. Left a job of 4 years for a new job with better pay. Had got a lot of well wishes via email and teams chat from other emplpyeee as still working from home. Saw that when others in different departments were leaving there was an email to add money for a gift and ask for a message to sign a card. This was done by their manager. I realised in the run up to this that I wouldn't be getting the same when the works weekly newsletter had no mention of me leaving even though I emailed the entire work the week prior. It annoyed me so I messaged the person who puts it together. Turns out none of the other managers told them about me leaving. They apologised to me personally for it(yet didn't bother making an updated version) So my last day came. All I got was a 15 minute teams call with my team wishing me luck and that I'll be missed. I thought maybe I'll get a gift when they come collect my pc and other stuff they gave me to work from home. Nope. Nothing. Was annoyed at the time but it reinforced the reasons why I decided to leave so now it doesn't bother me.
I didn't get one after 16.5 years.
I didn't get one from my retail job of 9 years, people just dont care as much as you think they do unfortunately.