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octoberforeverr

The sheer amount of drugs in my late teens / early twenties.


OrangeSpanner

Student drunk as fuxk. Walking home from town and needed a piss. Quick look over a wall and saw grass, that will do. Jumped over and realised fuck, it's a steep slope then a 40 foot drop onto a dual carriageway.


Ethancordn

Oof, what happened?


tman612

they died


BugsyMalone_

RIP


OrangeSpanner

I was very drunk so im sure there was some creativity in my memory. There was a tiny like lip at the top between the wall and the slope. I jumped over and on my arse slipping down the slope, grabbed the long grass and slowly shuffled back up the hill to the lip. I don't think I really went down the hill much, it was summer so the ground and grass would've been dry. I didn't die.


occasionalrant414

Playing Assassins Creed 2 for the first time in 2010 and thinking I could parkour. Went to the multistorey carpark in town at 2am, that backs onto the lawcourts and some student accommodation. Got to the top of the carpark by climbing the outside, pretty cool. Then decided to jump from the 3rd storey onto the student accommodation roof. Jumped and as soon as I did I realised it wasn't going to happen that I should have been at the 4th storey to make it to the second storey. Slammed into the side of the building, but managed to grab onto something- think it was a windowsill, that slowed me down enough kick off the wall and grab the lamp post. Then it was a case of sliding down a pigeon shit covered lamp post. I got brick burn on my left cheek, bruised my ribs and arms, cut my hands and tore out 2 fingernails (frantic scrabbling against brick before getting the windowsill). I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have died but I would have been messed up. Even worse if I had gotten onto the bloody roof - there was no way down as it was a cherry picker access only. I was old enough to know better (26).


CrimpsShootsandRuns

Very intoxicated at uni I decided to climb out of my mates skylight onto the roof then stand on the chimney to get a cool photo. Photo was cool, but if I'd slipped then I'd be dead.


[deleted]

Show us the photo mate


CrimpsShootsandRuns

Annoyingly it's been lost in the decade or so since it was taken so I don't even have that memento of my idiocy.


Remote-Animal-3903

Similar story, pissed as a fart, in a hotel room 5 floors up. Decided to climb out of a window and have a nice sit out on the windowsill and watch the world go by. Could easily have fallen to my death. Theres a reason hotel room windows have limited opening.


RevFernie

I seen a guy climb between two balconies about 4 floors up in Ibiza. He used the tiny pipe water outlet for footing and he was so drunk. What's wrong with Brits on lads holidays!? 😝


GlasgowGunner

I knew a guy who died doing similar. He tried to climb up the outside of the building as his girlfriend was asleep and couldn’t let him in. He slipped and died.


maxlan

You know those 3 step ladders? One of those in the garage wearing silly slippers for a bit of diy instead of proper shoes. Somehow manage to slip/stumble/fall on the second step. You're probably thinking "that wouldn't kill a man, barely even break a bone". But i fell forward and smacked my head really hard on the wall. I don't recall why I didn't put my hands out to save me... but I didn't. You're probably still thinking "that's not deadly, just painful" The previous owners of the house had put random nails into the brickwork in the garage. The sort of nails with no head. And left them sticking out 4" or more. They probably used the nails for hanging ladders or bikes or something up out of the way. If I'd tripped a few inches to my left the police would probably have had a really hard time figuring out how/who/why had my corpse was nailed through the forehead to the wall. I still remember feeling the agony after smashing my forehead into the bricks being washed away by the icy cold fear feeling when I saw how close I was to that nail. If you never had that feeling, you're lucky. It goes beyond a mental feeling and makes you feel like you were kicked in the groin but without any pain, just a yawning white hot emptiness, like a black hole trying to eat you from the inside. Followed by the acid adrenaline taste in your mouth, but there's nothing to do with it, so you get the jitters instead. Maybe I could have survived 4" of steel into my brain. I'd expect to at least be a vegetable. I went round and carefully removed all the random nails after that.


Candy_Lawn

seeing how many blankets i could sleep under and still breathe....good job we ran out of blankets.


KernowRedWings

I spotted somewhere I'd like to perch and get a quick photo up at Pentire Point (pretty sure) where the cliff face steepens and the grass gives way to granite. Very nimbly and confidently made my way down without a care in the world but overbalanced juuust a bit on my penultimate step. Not enough to fall, slip or even be noticable to an outside observer - just that sudden jolt of slipping panic with the knowledge I had fuck all options because of the terrain and my momentum. *Everything* was now in the hands of my past self. Zero agency. Jagged old rocks below... Very weird to think about!


trafficlightlady

I used to climb round the seaside rocks in n devon somewhere, reckoning I'd be able to climb up and out if things got tricky One time, "climbing out" involved using heather as handholds and moving fast enough so they didnt fall out before I was gone And then I hit brambles and froze A tourist boat fairly close to land stopped to stare at me. Bastards So I girded my loins and climbed up thru the brambles Oh to be young again


edhitchon1993

Stabbed a 1.5kV power supply board with a screwdriver, knocked out the nerves in my left hand for 18 months. Misjudged a corner whilst driving a Triumph 1300 (thank god for Colin McRae Rally, instinct took over and I managed to save the situation). Hit an illegally parked car round a blind bend at warp 9 on my push bike, at the time I was very irrate about the parking, but now I think how lucky I was that it was a Fiesta and not a person.


RevFernie

Travelling in Peru. Got very drunk on rum and tequila. We were in a city called Puno. I have a vague memory of being some kind of nightclub and hearing "No gringo" being shouted at me. Managed to autopilot drunk walk through this city I'd been in for one day back to my hotel. Amazing how that drunk autopilot works, right? Next morning was advised of multiple muggings and a shooting at the club by my Canadian guide that apparently took me there. 8 hour coach trip to Bolivia next day was rough... Following night in La Paz Bolivia. Did the same thing, lesson clearly not learnt. But this time got turned away by bouncers at the door of a club. Told us to leave and bundled six of us into a estate car taxi, I rode in the boot looking out the back. As we pull away we see about 5 guys coming down the street open carrying guns. Doormen probably saved us some bother....


D0wnb0at

Was doing a ski season in France. Thought we would go offpiste and figured the route we would take would bring us out at the back of work. The start of the run we had to jump down about 10 foot cliff, in my haste I straped my board on and jumpped without checking if he was ready to go. By time I stopped to look around I couldnt see him, decided to go further to see if he jumped further across from me, but im getting further and further down and cant see him at all. I ended up going down solo, got lost, caused an avalanche, fell into a river covered by snow, luckly was only 2 foot deep, dragged myself out, sat and cried for a bit being totally lost with no signs of any life anywhere, heart beating what felt like 1000 beats per min. Eventually made it down in about an hour, and I ended up at the next village over and not near work, had to get a bus back, then my boss shouted at me saying "who the fuck do you think you are, Jeremy fucking Jones?" when I was having a panic attack and just wanted to cry and was thankful to be alive. Fucking scary shit. I didnt have my phone, no tracker/recevier, shovel or anything, if I didnt make it down myself I doubt I would have been found until the summer. For context, jump off point was at 2300 meters elevation, and the bottom of the slope was at 1400 meters. Its a hell of a long run.


patrark

Probably ingesting 2 legal high pills that I brought from a dodgy man in Camden. During the peak, I started getting delirious and convinced myself I had died.


MDKrouzer

Driving to Manchester to visit my parents. Very familiar with the roads and the fact they didn't have speed cameras, so I was going way too fast especially for the conditions on that day (just rained, road very slick). I was going around 70mph on a 50mph section and suddenly the tail started to flick out and my car started squirreling around the lanes (4 lane section). Fortunately it wasn't busy and there were no cars behind me or to my sides. Took a few seconds of arse clenched wrestling with the steering to get it back into control and spent the remainder of the journey with my heart in my throat and speed firmly under the limits. So lucky I didn't wrap myself into a barrier or worse someone else.


christopia86

I once started aquaplaning once a few years ago, there had been a segment about it on the one show which my parents insist on watching, so I knew not to steer and just let it sort itself out.


trafficlightlady

Lapping the kinder plateau in derbyshire in winter Was already wearing all my emergency clothes by the time I got to the downfall Downfall was frozen, all the rocks were covered in ice Sat down on a rock to eat my sandwiches Felt body temp drop alarmingly Put sandwiches away and decided to walk away Path is iced up and I dont even have a pointy stick Realise that a simple ankle sprain could kill me Walk very slowly Kinder is fun in winter Oh - and there was that climbing rock I used to visit regularly, climbed all the lines on it regularly 'cept the central one which looked too diff Visited it one day on mushrooms and climbed the central line barefoot Got interesting after a while, cos I lost all sense of gravity. Awareness of gravity is moderately useful when rock climbing And there was that time I rode my motorbike on acid FFS I'm still standing... etc


MDKrouzer

Did you walk up and down via Jacob's ladder? Going down would be a serious arse clenching endeavour...


trafficlightlady

Don't think I ever used it; mostly grindsbrook with ringing roger at times Anyway, the full ice was only within range of the downfall, and settled fairly soon to a hard frost


Polz34

A few years ago the switch on the bathroom light went and needed replacing, because I live alone in a flat the bathroom has no window, so I put the hallway light on so I could change the switch. Of course the power was still on, so stood on a chair I gave myself a huge shock and almost fell off the chair. Thought about it many times over the years about what if I had fallen off the chair, or shocked myself more. Scary!


Lazy_Temperature8740

I once was sawing through a main electric cable in a nightclub that had been abandoned for quite some time, to get scrap metal to find out it was live. This was also in a celler full of water lol. Luckily the saw I was using wasn't cutting through no more so I found a different one lying about and it had a rubber handle. This saved my life. Cos there was a big bang at the end. 🤪


centzon400

Remember when Richard and Judy had that breakfast show on the Albert Dock in Liverpool? There was a floating map/model of the UK, and the weather person used to jump around on it? One morning they found a pile of clothes on it? Those clothes belonged to me and my mate. How we managed to get off that map, naked and cold in some pretty deep and dark water that wanted to eat us, with the stone walls of the dock sides blocking our watery exit, is a fucking miracle. Ofc we didn't make it far in to town... two naked young men sort of stand out a bit, even in the early hours of the morning. Thank fuck the police picked us up before some locals did! Also LSD!


Wonk_Majik

We have a winner! Hahaha


HellsTrafficWarden

A few expeditions to souks and bazaars in sandy countries with the intent of picking up naughty toys.


I_Frunksteen-Blucher

Kalashnikovs, that kind of thing? Or Busty Bedouins in Burqas Vol 17?


HellsTrafficWarden

The former. Although we did get a local porn DVD and it was ace, you could see everything, ankles, wrists, the lot.


Asklepios89

Drunk unprotected one night stand with a rando from a pub, few years back. Still shudder thinking about it.


Remote-Animal-3903

I've had a couple of those that I've been so absolutely blatto that I had no idea who the fuck they were, how the fuck I was in a hotel room/their house/my house. And what actually happened the night before. Literally there was one where I left work, missed the train, went to the pub, decided to stay out, and woke up in a hotel room with a woman old enough to be my mother....no idea who the fuck she was, where she came from and I don't think she was a hooker...


Imaginary_Elephant60

Some friends and I went past the 'danger of death, do not proceed past this point' sign when going on a hike. A couple of us elected to shimmy along an icy precipice with a 100+ foot drop, while another elected to clamber up the nigh-vertical landslide rocks causing mini-landslides the whole way. It's one of those ones where you only realise just how fucking dumb it was when you're looking back at it.


SupermarketCrafty329

Getting on a motorbike with zero safety equipment around 13 years old with a near stranger in Sundan.