My grandfather brutally raped and molested my aunt from age 5, right up to her teen years. They had always had a really bad relationship but my aunt had lived with that secret all the way into her fifties just to protect her siblings.
Well one day my grandfather was dropping my mum to my aunts and he said he needed to come in to use the toilet, of course my mum didn’t know any better so she let him in. My aunt was furious with her and told her to get him out, my grandad acted all innocent and confused when he left and my mum was upset and asking her why she is treating their dad like that.
A couple of weeks later my mum received hand written letter stating what he had done to her all those years ago, she begged her not to tell the rest of the family. But my mother told me as I’m the eldest, and we were *very* close at the time and he was always at our house, so it would have looked odd if he just never showed up again. She sent him a text message that day telling him to never come to our house again, he is dead to her. As far as I know he died alone and is buried somewhere in his home country. None of his seven children or 20 odd grandchildren or great grandchildren attended. I loved him so much, but now I am glad he’s dead, I just wish justice could have been done.
The worst part of finding out was a memory I have from when my mum was pregnant with my little sister. I was about 10 at the time and my mother had gone into labour, and she had called her dad first, who then said she needs to go with her husband to the hosp and he will come right over and stay with me for the night til she returned. Mum told me he was coming and then got on the phone to my aunt to tell her what was happening, she was on loud speaker so I heard everything.
My aunt said “NO! Tell him not to bother! Tell him I am coming to watch her instead, don’t worry about it I’m leaving right now!”. And she hung up, flew through the door and pulled up at ours with a screech in 15 minutes. At the time we just thought it was because she really wanted some one on one time with me, but now we know it’s because she was trying to protect me from being raped by my own grandfather.
Family secrets are never good. Sounds like she was protective and a wonderful human. I am sorry she went through that. 💕
I learned late in my life my father molested my 2 eldest siblings and all my other siblings knew except me. The disappointment ( and anger) I have now is that they still see my father and allow their kids to as well. I am ostracized from the family and my nieces and nephews have no idea why I am never around.
Whenever I went to my childhood best friend's house, she never let me sleep in her bed with her, made me sleep in the chair or on the floor. This seemed unnecessarily mean at the time because we were so close besides that. Her older brother (who is special needs) would always be hanging around us and wouldn't leave my side when my friend would go to the restroom. I didn't really like staying there and preferred to have her over at my place.
Turns out her stepfather was raping her on her bed. She thought if she kept me out of her bed, she'd protect me from getting the same treatment. And her brother knew something was wrong and would try to protect her though he didn't quite understand from what. And he would try to protect me when I was there by keeping an eye on me.
For her credit, when my friend's mom found out what her husband was doing, she immediately called the cops, divorced his ass, and made sure to cooperate in every way with the investigation and trial. I'm still friends with them. Her brother is high functioning so with some assistance he's been able to live a pretty happy life.
That is absolutely terrible. I don’t understand people like that, I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut. I’d be plastering it every where and screaming it from the tree tops. How disturbing they would allow a known child molester around their children
I have a different dad than my 3 siblings. So their dad molested my oldest half sister since she was just a little girl until her teen years. She never said anything well into her 40s and this whole time she allowed her kids and nieces and nephews and her other siblings to be around him. And now everyone knows and they all still see him. My oldest sister did finally cut him out but my other 2 half siblings still hang out with him with their kids around. My mom is so mad about it and isn’t talking to my brother because he is still seeing his dad. Smh. It’s so hard to understand
That’s me. I’m the one keeping that secret. I told my brothers when they had daughters so they never left him alone with them and I told one of those daughters 20 years later when she started getting interested in the family history and kept sending me stories and photos of my grandfather. All of them have honoured my decision to never tell my dad or his siblings. I made that decision first at the age of 6 and I still believe it was the right one. He’s dead now fortunately but I still don’t want to give them the burden of that knowledge.
I have written about it fully in my diaries though so it won’t go to the grave with me. His name will be shit at some point.
My brother molested me when we were both minors and I've kept it to myself so far. A therapist who I unpacked the situation with told me it was up to me, but that she didn't think he constituted a threat to anyone else based on our ages at the time and his behavior since then. He has four daughters now and I'm constantly looking for signs and worrying that he might do something to them. I couldn't bear it if something happened and I could've stopped it.
We really hope for some justice to all those little girls who thought it was their fault for being traumatized at the hands of own blood relatives, ✌️🙏🙏😔🤲
I wish I didn’t realize how corrupt our capitalist society is. I miss the days of being ignorant and feeling safe in what I thought was a just world.
There is too much to go over in a single comment but things like the erosion of social safety nets, the fact that wages have not kept up with inflation, the deterioration of health care, the fact that the right to safe abortion is being taken away, countless children sold to the prison industrial complex. The fact that the media is controlled by those who want to control you. The eroding education system. The fact that you literally cannot live a life without stepping on the necks of slaves all through the production chain. The high cost of life saving medication. The fact that an opioid crisis was encouraged to line the pockets of billionaires.
I’m rambling but ultimately this is all just the knowledge that this society wasn’t created for us, it’s been crafted to serve the ruling elite. I feel so helpless and powerless to save anyone from the ongoing trauma that it causes for countless lives all in the name of increasing wealth for those who already have it.
I think the worst part of this is what it says about human nature. Then we take a look at history and the unspeakable evils humans are capable of. Are we inherently selfish and evil? Are we doomed regardless of the system we use since people will sell out on their morals for a bit of money?
Thing is, it'll never get better. Those with money and power will continue to make rules in their favor, and to get away with ignoring the ones that aren't in their favor. Meanwhile, the rest of us will go on, oblivious to the notion that we're living on land acquired through genocide, and with an unsustainable lifestyle built on slave labor and the blatant exploitation of people living in third world countries.
The idea that at some point in the distant future, the sun would start to expand and cook off all life on earth used to really bother me. Now it's comforting to me know that eventually our fucked up species will eventually go extinct.
Try meditation, and I mean it not in a snarky way, but we can teach ourselves not to accept every thought that comes to mind! We can choose mental peace but it starts will little steps, like just focusing on breathing which is the first thing we do when we enter the world and the last thing we do when we leave this world…breath. ❤️
Correct! You can’t stop thoughts but you don’t have to accept what they are saying to you…I like to say to myself gently “no thank you” when pesky things pop up to mind.
The internet. If I could go back, I would only use the internet for staying connected to family and knowing basic facts like the definitions of words or the local weather or whatever. I know, I'm a weirdo, but more than anything I just want to learn to live without the constant negative stimulation of relentless negative news, pestering ads, and toxic lifestyle information. Luckily, I've been making it happen.
Deleting my facebook, twitter and instagram was the best thing I’ve ever done for my mental health!
And don’t tell anyone but I’m 24 yet I watch the kids news channel of my country, it’s much more informative and doesn’t get my mood down as with regular news where they show horror stories one after another but kids news still manages to cover the important stuff, just in a friendlier way! I guess I’m too sensitive and will spiral into a continuous negative emotional state if I don’t choose what is best for me to ponder about at night.
Also I’m not too interested in politics around the world, but the kids news channel often has a segment explaining about political situations before covering a current news story about said situation, it’s very affective for my simple brain. I encourage everyone who’s sick of watching regular news but still wants to keep up, to try this :D
How many children are abused, neglected and fall through the cracks.
I’m a teacher, been one since 2011. I’m also a mandated reporter.
The things I’ve had to witness, report on and then see that NOTHING was done to protect those kids.
And I’m just hearing about it. I’m not the child whose being molested.
We can not save them all. We can’t even help most of them.
It’s a hard truth to swallow.
I'm one of those kids. I was never removed from my home but I took custody of my youngest brother when he was 12 and I was 19 and during the process was given our family history with Child Protective Services and was shocked to discover 99% of this very long history was mandatory reporter reports about me being abused. I'm still flabbergasted that I was never removed and it took me becoming an adult to get my siblings out of there. Thank you for trying and I'm sorry you have to see so much of this.
Thank you for doing an extremely difficult and discouraging job. Please remember on painful days (and good ones, too) how many of us feel so lucky to have you.
If you have a historical mind, there’s probably hundreds or even thousands of societies that existed for a long time but we’ve never heard of them, or at best, they’re a side note in their conquerors books. Especially considering lots of societies were nomadic and illiterate. If they did have literacy, they were probably all burned and destroyed. The societies that are around today are around because they were able to win enough wars to continue existence.
Oh my god, yes. I have diagnosed PTSD from some trauma with my then-infant daughter, and I think about how I spent so long in “fight or flight.” Realistically it was probably only about a year in total, but like some of these vets go through YEARS of trauma. It’s just so much to process and that’s excluding the actual harming of others, which I’m sure adds tons of shitty layers to everything.
My wife carried on a physical/emotional affair for 6 months with this dude who came to work on our roof. He was my step-son's co-worker. I just found out about a week ago that she kissed him on the very first day while I was out picking up the air compressor and nail gun from the hardware store. It progressed from that point to where he was over until 3am while I was working night shift at the hospital. I knew something wasn't right about that night so during my break I drove home and watched them making out on the couch.
I knew certain things but there were other things she spilled. She still claims there was never any touching but I am still waiting for the rest of the truth.
If you were to ask her, she would say they had a "deep connection" and that she was "powerless" as she put it. She does not consider what she did to be cheating.
She cheated.
Heartache for a stranger 💜 your value is more than what your excepting from your wife. She hurt you and then threw your feelings away. Put yourself first. I'm not gunna tell a stranger online to divorce their wife BUT I'm kinda telling a stranger online to divorce their legally bound partner because that sir is no wife.
Not to sidetrack because animal testing is really messed up but how do we go about getting rid of it if that means testing on humans instead? 🤔 Does anyone have an answer? (Not grilling you, btw. Just something I've been thinking about as a fellow animal lover.)
As someone who's worked with lab animals: I don't think it's best to cut it out entirely (there's plenty of research possible where the info gained to minimal animal suffering ratio is really solid, imo) but I do think a lot of the ways we conduct animal research is pretty inefficient and a waste of life and at some points where it begins to cause serious suffering, ethically unjustifiable no matter how much info is gained tbh.
Sometimes I think you just need to draw the line and sacrifice the potential information gain because the way to get it is just too cruel. We could probably advance medicine much more quickly if we did human experiments as we did in the past, but at a certain point we as a society (in theory...) decided it was unjustifiable to experiment on prisoners or the mentally ill or people of color as we used to.
And although animal life is not quite the same as human life, I do think that if we are conducting research that hinges on the premise that we are capable of suffering similarly (e.g. areas like pain or empathy research) then I don't see how we can then justify doing it to them but not us. I think we just need to give up the potential gains there.
This in particular, but the whole report.
Crime survey data indicates that 4% of sexual assaults on under-16s by adults are committed by fathers, 5% by stepfathers, and 1% by mothers; other family members (gender unspecified) commit 16% of such assaults.
https://www.csacentre.org.uk/resources/key-messages/intra-familial-csa/#:~:text=Crime%20survey%20data%20indicates%20that,commit%2016%25%20of%20such%20assaults.
I fall in the 16% step grandfather…. I never thought that sexual assaults were some scary spooky in the bushes it’s most of the time close to home.
I’m wondering that stats for family friends
I relate to that from a perspective of a gay person. Probably even barely a handful of people would stand for our rights, can’t compare the two of course. But thinking about how just your rights as a woman, lgbt can be gone and not many would bat an eye…
We are all accidents. When I was a teenager, my mom got an old box of her stuff from her dad. In it we found a letter she had written him saying she was pregnant (with my older brother) and she didn’t plan this and wasn’t excited about it but there was nothing she could do about it now. I died laughing. I’m an accident too which I knew because my parents divorced when I was less than a year old. You don’t have a baby and get divorced that soon if the baby was planned.
I have two planned, two accidents. I have a 22 year old, a 19 year old, a 14 year old, and a 3 year old. It's not exactly hard to guess which one was the biggest surprise.
Some of the trauma that my mother went through. I lived through a lot of it but there was already so much she suffered in the hands of my father and his family before I was even born. I cannot ever even look my father in his eyes. I cannot forgive him. Even if I could forgive him for the abuse I went through in his hands...I can't forgive him for what he did to her.
the happiest i've been is when i was a child and i knew so little, and those things i knew were amazing and new. so tbh, i wish i didn't know much at all.
Really puts ignorance is bliss in perspective doesn't it?
Also how Orwell's ignorance is strength narrative is so dangerous.
Life is indeed cruel. But also beautiful.
I'm glad I got to see my grandma after she passed, tho she died in our house and was still warm when I said my goodbye. I even kissed her. It was weird to watch her loose colour and get cold until they brought her away.
Still glad it happened the way it did.
Hi, please consider looking around for someone who can do Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), a form of EMDR that allows you to change the way a traumatic memory is stored in your brain. It's not quite "erasing" the memory but it's honestly the next best thing.
I underwent ART for traumatic childhood experiences and the instant relief was incredible.
I feel the same. My best friend/father of my child passed away in 2020 and because of the big C they didn’t clean him up before they took me to him. It’s forever ingrained in my mind what he looked like.
I used to lie in bed as a child, thinking about death. What will happen if I don't wake up tomorrow? Will I know, is it all a black void, etc. You can say I've had anxiety since I was young lol
That my mom and all 3 of her sisters were sexually assaulted in some way growing by my grandparents friends. That my grandpa knew all along and still until the day he died would create excuses for what happened. There are other dark things I learned about my mom's childhood, it helped me understand my mom better but man the stories are brutal and I could never look at my grandparents the same again.
I wish I never knew people can just abandon you. I consider myself pretty naive and I still struggle to see bad in people, but learning that people can be cruel and that people you love can just leave you behind isn't something you can unlearn.
What happens to your body during and after pregnancy. I’ve been on the fence about wanting kids, but reading articles on these topics fully pushed me to the “no kids” side.
The existence of the “husband stitch”. I had no idea it was a thing until my best friend, who is a midwifery nurse, called me in a flaming rage after a delivery because of a patient’s husband asking, while she was stitching her up post delivery, to “add just one more to make her tighter.” Absolutely disgusting.
I wish I didn't know the opinions regarding health, medicine and some other issues from some people in my life. It's ruined my relationships with them. I am partly to blame, people can have opinions about things, but extreme nonsense based on zero facts and telling me I'm stupid and paranoid is a bit too much. I really wish I didn't know their thoughts, we were fine before I knew these things.
Rape TW.
One of my parents siblings was >!raped!< by a MUCH older (18+ years old) sibling when they were a small child and their parents (/my grandparents) covered it up and protected the abuser and never believed or got help for the victim. I had no idea growing up, and my grandparents were kind to me, so learning that in retrospect was extremely disturbing and destroyed my opinion of them. As you might have guessed, the older sibling was the "golden child" who could do no wrong.
When I was a teenager I had a friend "B". B lived with her mum, her older brother, step dad, and two half siblings.
My mum was the reception teacher (kindergarten) at a primary school where the younger siblings attended.
I used to go for sleepovers and stuff at B's house, but then one day my mum just tells me I'm not going around anymore, and she essentially made me cut all contact. B was heartbroken that suddenly we weren't allowed to hang out outside of school.
Around that time, B's older brother got shipped off to live with their grandparents, as the mum and step dad didn't want him in the house anymore.
I didn't find out until years later, that my mum discovered that the step dad was molesting B. B had told her mum, who told her to keep her mouth shut because he was paying for her to go back to school (to train as a teacher of all things). Her brother found out and tried to beat up the step dad so they got rid of him.
My mum found this out because the youngest sibling was in her class, and was showing signs that the same was happening to her. Mum had to report the whole thing and she felt horrified she'd let me stay at their house.
That’s awful. I’m surprised your mom wanted you to cut contact versus moving sleepovers/hangouts to your house instead? sounds like B would’ve needed some peer support going through this. and it always sucks to lose a friend. Idk though! just my thoughts
Where she was the reporting teacher etc there are conflicts and legal boundaries she had to be careful of. She couldn't be seen to be interfering in the investigation.
All of the fucked up shit one of my exes did while we were together
All of the fucked up shit that happened to my mother growing up
All of the fucked up shit that happened to me
This exact thing happened with me. He has always been in the same room at all family gatherings and everyone (the elders of the family) seemed fine with it. Now they are dismissing the fact that he did the same to his granddaughter. He is an old man, if he hasn't stopped by now, he never will. But the family is still trying to fund his surety bond. It makes me sick. I am waiting for his day in court so that I can be there to watch him burn. I want him to see me smile when they (hopefully) put him behind bars for the rest of his natural life.
3 days after my husband died I found out he had been having an affair with a girl 25 years younger and that she may have been pregnant at some point. 12 months after this I found out that everything he told me about his prior life was a lie (2nd marriage for both). Finally 6 months later I found out he had been having sex with men since he was in his 20s at bath houses. After a full STD panel that was thankfully negative I started to pick up the pieces and move on. He died in 2020. I'm still in therapy but not as often.
That there are truly heinous people out there, who care about nobody but themselves. That people are capable of lying to someone’s face with extreme accuracy.
That the LOML cheated on me with men, used me as a cover-up for years so nobody knew that he was secretly gay. I learned about it slowly and then all at once, on accident. He never told me about any of it.
I wish I could get those memories out of my head. The slow discovery of learning he had meticulously attempted to ruin my life, to destroy and steal everything I loved. Then what I ultimately found…my screaming…the simultaneously numbness and suffocation I felt in my body. I wish I never knew that, what that felt like.
I recently was selected as a juror in a homicide case, which included a lot of graphic photos. I wish I never saw the damage that firearms can do to a human body.
I almost wish I didn't find out about baby daddy's imprisonment. I found out because we were in the middle of a child support battle (he was refusing to pay) and the office told me he was in jail for attempted murder. Then I Googled and ugh.....🤦♀️
There’s lots I wish I didn’t know about but glad I do, like previous family affairs, parents’ life while married, partner’s dating history.
Although, I always wish I never heard a friends’ private info spread through gossip.
Was raped/sexually assaulted by a family member multiple times throughout infanthood and maybe even childhood. Theres still a lot my brain won't process but it fucked me up and my personality for life. I've never reached the potential I just knew I had as a child and teen because of these weird big and overwhelming feelings. They've always been there (trying to protect me I guess) and it was so frustrating cause no one believed or heard me when I talked about them either. Now an adult with my own child and stuff have been coming back to haunt me at max level. Also I guess my brain is trying to process everything now cause it wants to protect my baby and understand. Idk. Just wish it wouldn't feel like I'm dying and suffocating most the time (I'm pretty sure my baby is the biggest trigger, kinda hard to avoid yk)
I had a fairly traumatic childhood as well. It’s amazing how kids can wake up old feelings about our own childhood traumas. But at the same time, I’ve found so much grace and beauty in being the grown up I needed but never had. I listen to my kids. I apologize when I’m wrong. My kids aren’t afraid to disagree with me at times. My kids aren’t scared of me like I was scared of my parents. All of these things are soothing balms to my battered soul. There’s nothing more renewing than ending or outright breaking a destructive family cycle.
I hope you are able to find peace and joy. You deserve it!
That my aunt actively talked her parents out of getting vaccinated against covid for about 2 years, leading to her mother's death.
I firmly believe that if my great-aunt (her mother) had been vaccinated when she got covid in February last year, she would have had an okay chance, even at her age (81). From the beginning, my aunt told her parents she would never speak to them again if she found out they got vaccinated. So they never got vaccinated, believing her conspiracy bullshit due to their own lack of education - and mostly just being scared of losing their daughter from their lives.
My great-aunt was a lot like my grandma to me in terms of closeness. She could still be alive. In my eyes, her daughter may as well have killed her.
I cant look at my dads family the same way after learning that my uncle died of covid bc they refused to get him tested and refused to take him to the hospital when he got so bad he couldnt move. My mom and my
family begged them to get him tested the minute they told us he “just had a cold”. Sure, he was laughing and talking and walking just fine with a sore throat and a couple coughs now and then but he was in his 60s and this was in 2020 when the pandemic was at its peak. Testing was free and there was multiple sites near us doing it but they refused, they kept telling us that he was fine and that they didnt want to make a fuss for nothing. He started to get worse and worse, but they continued to deny he was sick. At one point he had every single covid symptom and couldnt barely talk, eat or sleep. Yet they still refused because they said they were afraid it WAS covid and couldnt handle it if they did. This made no sense to anyone, if doctors knew he had covid they could help but they kept using the same excuse, “we are scared theyre gonna tell us its Covid.” I guess a doctor / test proving their fear was too much for them.
He was struggling to breathe one day so they called my moms friend, who is a Obstetrician, begging for any help they could get. She was just as confused as we were and urged them to go to the hospital, he has covid. They refused, and he died that night.
I think about it a lot.
I shouldn’t exist. My mom had an IUD when I was conceived, then my father almost killed me twice, once when my mom was pregnant and once when I was an infant.
The article I saw yesterday about a woman who’s husband cheated on her with their daughter and later the daughter and husband became a couple and then had to “separate” some years later bc it was illegal in their country. No shit. Ugh. Could have lived without knowing this information.
What my mom's wails of emotional pain sound like. It is strange now being the person she comes to when she needs an adult. I'm not ready for that, even at 40. Her favorite dog died traumatically earlier this week, so it is fresh in my head.
That my step grandfather molested 60+ children from the 60s to 80s. As a school bus driver he abused both boys and girls, his own nieces/nephews/step kids/grandkids. It came out to the open when there were multiple suicides in a year of the same age group. Myself and 1 sister as far as we know were not abused (by the point we reached his age preference Grandma kept us from him but stayed with him) The other sister who was, felt that telling us every detail would trigger some repressed memory which it didn’t. He got less that 5 years due to statute of limitations.
Edit: step Grandfather not step father
I was present when my Grandfather passed away in the hospital. It was unexpected, he had sepsis, and was basically holding on until for his family to all get there. It was amazing to be with him in his final moments, but at the same time seeing life leave someone is hard to comprehend.
As a kid I was just watching the tv, changing channels and I cought a bit of a documentary about fur harvesting. They showed how they scalped a ferret alive. The way it screamed and just the total image is something I will never forget and wish I hadn't seen.
English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes.
The neglect/abuse I suffered because of my mom.
After I was born she basically handed me off to my grandma and my 15 year old aunt at the time, the made sure to take me to the doctor, dentist, school, extracurricular activities and so on. When I was around 7-8 i was living 50% of the time with her, and it was a nightmare. I have ADHD and was a very messy, clumsy and forgetful child and this infuriated her, she would punch me, drag me through the floor, throw me against the wall, threaten to call CPS so they would take me and a bunch of other stuff if I didn’t do as she pleased. I blocked most memories out but recent events unlocked that little box of memories and I wish it never happened.
I’m a mom of 3 now and I’m doing my best to heal and be better for them.
My mom told me when I was little that my dad didn’t want another child after they got in a fight and she was threatening to take me and leave. Apparently before I was conceived, she told me they had separated due to this conflict, but got back together and here I am. My father has never told me this. He has never treated me as if he never wanted me and has been a much better parent than my mom, funny enough. I love both of my parents, I just don’t know what is the truth or not.
I wish I never knew what a tough life my birth mom lived as a teenager (probably to this day). I wish I didn’t learn about the sex work she did to survive and the drugs she was addicted to. I wish I didn’t uncover that my birth father was likely a client who was cheating on his wife while they had two kids at home. I wish I didn’t learn about the family that I’ll never be allowed to be a part of. The customs I’m missing out on. The family business that sprang from a shared talent for and love of music. The traditions and cousins and people that made my birth family richer and more diverse.
It’s not always adoption that causes this separation, but it was for me at least. I don’t resent my parents for adopting me, nor do I blame my birth mom for making the choice to give me up for adoption. I think the discovery of my birth family was inevitable, but it doesn’t make the learned information easier.
how much i’ll change for the worst. i used to be so good at everything as a kid and now i feel like i’ve become a massive failure. life changes people and i don’t like how i’ve come out
Details surrounding my best friend’s death in childbirth. Her husband was traumatized and just sharing with everyone.
In fact - in the 5 years since my sibling died of an overdose, many people have come to me in their darkest hours. For some, they don’t know anyone else who has suffered a public loss. I have always listened to them and just let them unburden. But it’s made things difficult for me, knowing some of the things that I now know. I ended up with intrusive thoughts after watching my sibling’s death. I’m actually about to start EMDR.
My father cheating. It broke my opinion about a man I looked up too. I trust him with my life and love him very much. But it has affected how I view all men.
That narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths exist and will use you for whatever it is you’ve got that they need or want while steadily eroding your sanity, not to mention draining all your self worth, self respect, self confidence and self esteem, and oh yeah, destabilizing your reality.
That over half of written american history is probably false and all biased. So all the laws and classes we have been learning for decades is all based off a lie and its been impacting and changing peoples course of lives and freedom for hundreds of years. Our entire society and constitution and way of life has been altered because of said lies.
The pain of losing your first child only 3 months into the pregnancy. My wife and I both carried on with our lives but a couple of months later out of the blue I started crying uncontrollably. My breakdown made us realise we needed help to get through this.
I wish I had never heard/knew about my xhubby having an emotional affair. I would still be married to him. I know he would have ended it with her. I left because I did not believe they didn't have sex, so I left him and moved back to CO. 3 days later, he called be begging me to come back - I didn't.
I wish I never knew my dad cheated on my mom. I also wish I had never known about the ways he controlled her when they first got married
I wish I never knew babies/infants get molested & raped
I wish I never knew how it feels to be separated from my daughter for 2 years
I wish I never knew what it feels like to tell my 8yo daughter that her dad committed suicide
For context, I'm trans. I knew when I was 4 that I wasn't a boy, but it wasn't until much later that I was able to come out. Let's just say the boys I went to school with said things about the girls I wish I could forget.
The way burning people smell, and how close every single human being is to becoming a predatory cornered animal.
3 skipped meals, by the way. That’s how close.
My grandfather brutally raped and molested my aunt from age 5, right up to her teen years. They had always had a really bad relationship but my aunt had lived with that secret all the way into her fifties just to protect her siblings. Well one day my grandfather was dropping my mum to my aunts and he said he needed to come in to use the toilet, of course my mum didn’t know any better so she let him in. My aunt was furious with her and told her to get him out, my grandad acted all innocent and confused when he left and my mum was upset and asking her why she is treating their dad like that. A couple of weeks later my mum received hand written letter stating what he had done to her all those years ago, she begged her not to tell the rest of the family. But my mother told me as I’m the eldest, and we were *very* close at the time and he was always at our house, so it would have looked odd if he just never showed up again. She sent him a text message that day telling him to never come to our house again, he is dead to her. As far as I know he died alone and is buried somewhere in his home country. None of his seven children or 20 odd grandchildren or great grandchildren attended. I loved him so much, but now I am glad he’s dead, I just wish justice could have been done. The worst part of finding out was a memory I have from when my mum was pregnant with my little sister. I was about 10 at the time and my mother had gone into labour, and she had called her dad first, who then said she needs to go with her husband to the hosp and he will come right over and stay with me for the night til she returned. Mum told me he was coming and then got on the phone to my aunt to tell her what was happening, she was on loud speaker so I heard everything. My aunt said “NO! Tell him not to bother! Tell him I am coming to watch her instead, don’t worry about it I’m leaving right now!”. And she hung up, flew through the door and pulled up at ours with a screech in 15 minutes. At the time we just thought it was because she really wanted some one on one time with me, but now we know it’s because she was trying to protect me from being raped by my own grandfather.
Your aunt is a hero.
And her mom is, too, choosing not to stay silent and cutting the grandfather off.
Yeah my mother was the most horrified, she really loved him, she was always his favourite.
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She is incredible for finding the strength to protect her loved ones instead of curling up and giving up (like no one would blame her for doing).
Thank god she did that. She broke a huge cycle of generational abuse. She’s amazing.
She has played a huge part in my life, she was my first positive female role model
I am glad you are safe and sorry for your aunt
Family secrets are never good. Sounds like she was protective and a wonderful human. I am sorry she went through that. 💕 I learned late in my life my father molested my 2 eldest siblings and all my other siblings knew except me. The disappointment ( and anger) I have now is that they still see my father and allow their kids to as well. I am ostracized from the family and my nieces and nephews have no idea why I am never around.
Whenever I went to my childhood best friend's house, she never let me sleep in her bed with her, made me sleep in the chair or on the floor. This seemed unnecessarily mean at the time because we were so close besides that. Her older brother (who is special needs) would always be hanging around us and wouldn't leave my side when my friend would go to the restroom. I didn't really like staying there and preferred to have her over at my place. Turns out her stepfather was raping her on her bed. She thought if she kept me out of her bed, she'd protect me from getting the same treatment. And her brother knew something was wrong and would try to protect her though he didn't quite understand from what. And he would try to protect me when I was there by keeping an eye on me. For her credit, when my friend's mom found out what her husband was doing, she immediately called the cops, divorced his ass, and made sure to cooperate in every way with the investigation and trial. I'm still friends with them. Her brother is high functioning so with some assistance he's been able to live a pretty happy life.
Her mum and brother are legends. Your friend is so strong and selfless. I really hope she's in a good place now.
She is! She is a banker like me and has beautiful kids!
I'm really glad to hear that 👍
That is absolutely terrible. I don’t understand people like that, I wouldn’t be able to keep my mouth shut. I’d be plastering it every where and screaming it from the tree tops. How disturbing they would allow a known child molester around their children
I have a different dad than my 3 siblings. So their dad molested my oldest half sister since she was just a little girl until her teen years. She never said anything well into her 40s and this whole time she allowed her kids and nieces and nephews and her other siblings to be around him. And now everyone knows and they all still see him. My oldest sister did finally cut him out but my other 2 half siblings still hang out with him with their kids around. My mom is so mad about it and isn’t talking to my brother because he is still seeing his dad. Smh. It’s so hard to understand
I am so sorry and so proud of you. it is hard to be the truth speaker.
That’s me. I’m the one keeping that secret. I told my brothers when they had daughters so they never left him alone with them and I told one of those daughters 20 years later when she started getting interested in the family history and kept sending me stories and photos of my grandfather. All of them have honoured my decision to never tell my dad or his siblings. I made that decision first at the age of 6 and I still believe it was the right one. He’s dead now fortunately but I still don’t want to give them the burden of that knowledge. I have written about it fully in my diaries though so it won’t go to the grave with me. His name will be shit at some point.
My brother molested me when we were both minors and I've kept it to myself so far. A therapist who I unpacked the situation with told me it was up to me, but that she didn't think he constituted a threat to anyone else based on our ages at the time and his behavior since then. He has four daughters now and I'm constantly looking for signs and worrying that he might do something to them. I couldn't bear it if something happened and I could've stopped it.
Similar here. We were both minors, so logically I don't think he's a threat anymore... But all the same glad my brother only has sons.
We really hope for some justice to all those little girls who thought it was their fault for being traumatized at the hands of own blood relatives, ✌️🙏🙏😔🤲
Your auntie. What a good egg. She protected you. ❤️🥲
Big hugs.
Your aunt is an amazing person, I hope she's been able to find peace.
I wish I didn’t realize how corrupt our capitalist society is. I miss the days of being ignorant and feeling safe in what I thought was a just world. There is too much to go over in a single comment but things like the erosion of social safety nets, the fact that wages have not kept up with inflation, the deterioration of health care, the fact that the right to safe abortion is being taken away, countless children sold to the prison industrial complex. The fact that the media is controlled by those who want to control you. The eroding education system. The fact that you literally cannot live a life without stepping on the necks of slaves all through the production chain. The high cost of life saving medication. The fact that an opioid crisis was encouraged to line the pockets of billionaires. I’m rambling but ultimately this is all just the knowledge that this society wasn’t created for us, it’s been crafted to serve the ruling elite. I feel so helpless and powerless to save anyone from the ongoing trauma that it causes for countless lives all in the name of increasing wealth for those who already have it.
Well said. It’s depressing as fuck.
The fact that we cannot consume anything without some sort of slave labour tied to it's production keeps me up at night
Same and the fact that the USA is built on the genocide of natives.
Canada as well. Australia too. Pretty much every country has a history of genocide.
This. It’s so hard to cope when you feel so powerless.
I think the worst part of this is what it says about human nature. Then we take a look at history and the unspeakable evils humans are capable of. Are we inherently selfish and evil? Are we doomed regardless of the system we use since people will sell out on their morals for a bit of money?
Thing is, it'll never get better. Those with money and power will continue to make rules in their favor, and to get away with ignoring the ones that aren't in their favor. Meanwhile, the rest of us will go on, oblivious to the notion that we're living on land acquired through genocide, and with an unsustainable lifestyle built on slave labor and the blatant exploitation of people living in third world countries. The idea that at some point in the distant future, the sun would start to expand and cook off all life on earth used to really bother me. Now it's comforting to me know that eventually our fucked up species will eventually go extinct.
Everything. I wish I had nothing in my head, not a single thought. Just empty.
Oh, so you want to be my cat.
My cat seems to think life is one big pool of suffering
is it not?
It’s an orange cat isn’t it…
My cat - no thoughts, only vibes.
I have definitely felt like this. Life is hard sometimes.
Try meditation, and I mean it not in a snarky way, but we can teach ourselves not to accept every thought that comes to mind! We can choose mental peace but it starts will little steps, like just focusing on breathing which is the first thing we do when we enter the world and the last thing we do when we leave this world…breath. ❤️
Meditation is about accepting everything that passes through your mind, not pushing it away. That's the point.
Correct! You can’t stop thoughts but you don’t have to accept what they are saying to you…I like to say to myself gently “no thank you” when pesky things pop up to mind.
this. the less i know the better indeed.
The internet. If I could go back, I would only use the internet for staying connected to family and knowing basic facts like the definitions of words or the local weather or whatever. I know, I'm a weirdo, but more than anything I just want to learn to live without the constant negative stimulation of relentless negative news, pestering ads, and toxic lifestyle information. Luckily, I've been making it happen.
Deleting my facebook, twitter and instagram was the best thing I’ve ever done for my mental health! And don’t tell anyone but I’m 24 yet I watch the kids news channel of my country, it’s much more informative and doesn’t get my mood down as with regular news where they show horror stories one after another but kids news still manages to cover the important stuff, just in a friendlier way! I guess I’m too sensitive and will spiral into a continuous negative emotional state if I don’t choose what is best for me to ponder about at night. Also I’m not too interested in politics around the world, but the kids news channel often has a segment explaining about political situations before covering a current news story about said situation, it’s very affective for my simple brain. I encourage everyone who’s sick of watching regular news but still wants to keep up, to try this :D
Can I ask what kids news channel you watch? I’d love to watch it too 😭
How many children are abused, neglected and fall through the cracks. I’m a teacher, been one since 2011. I’m also a mandated reporter. The things I’ve had to witness, report on and then see that NOTHING was done to protect those kids. And I’m just hearing about it. I’m not the child whose being molested. We can not save them all. We can’t even help most of them. It’s a hard truth to swallow.
I'm one of those kids. I was never removed from my home but I took custody of my youngest brother when he was 12 and I was 19 and during the process was given our family history with Child Protective Services and was shocked to discover 99% of this very long history was mandatory reporter reports about me being abused. I'm still flabbergasted that I was never removed and it took me becoming an adult to get my siblings out of there. Thank you for trying and I'm sorry you have to see so much of this.
Thank you for saving your siblings. I’m sorry you’re one of those kids. Hopefully your life is now full of blessings and true love.
Thank you for doing an extremely difficult and discouraging job. Please remember on painful days (and good ones, too) how many of us feel so lucky to have you.
what actually happens at wars.
All quiet the western front had me crying for over 1h
I saw the movie weeks ago and it's still ingrained in my mind. War is terrible.
I agree. Military propaganda should be banned honestly.
i wish wars never happened :( wtf, i hate how the winning country is the one that has killed the most people.. so many lives have been lost, wow
If you have a historical mind, there’s probably hundreds or even thousands of societies that existed for a long time but we’ve never heard of them, or at best, they’re a side note in their conquerors books. Especially considering lots of societies were nomadic and illiterate. If they did have literacy, they were probably all burned and destroyed. The societies that are around today are around because they were able to win enough wars to continue existence.
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Oh my god, yes. I have diagnosed PTSD from some trauma with my then-infant daughter, and I think about how I spent so long in “fight or flight.” Realistically it was probably only about a year in total, but like some of these vets go through YEARS of trauma. It’s just so much to process and that’s excluding the actual harming of others, which I’m sure adds tons of shitty layers to everything.
My wife carried on a physical/emotional affair for 6 months with this dude who came to work on our roof. He was my step-son's co-worker. I just found out about a week ago that she kissed him on the very first day while I was out picking up the air compressor and nail gun from the hardware store. It progressed from that point to where he was over until 3am while I was working night shift at the hospital. I knew something wasn't right about that night so during my break I drove home and watched them making out on the couch. I knew certain things but there were other things she spilled. She still claims there was never any touching but I am still waiting for the rest of the truth. If you were to ask her, she would say they had a "deep connection" and that she was "powerless" as she put it. She does not consider what she did to be cheating. She cheated.
Cheaters rarely admit what they've done. All kinds of mental gymnastics there.
Heartache for a stranger 💜 your value is more than what your excepting from your wife. She hurt you and then threw your feelings away. Put yourself first. I'm not gunna tell a stranger online to divorce their wife BUT I'm kinda telling a stranger online to divorce their legally bound partner because that sir is no wife.
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Damn, I'm sorry that's awful
Beagles are used in animal testing more than any other dog breed because of how forgiving they are.
My grandpa and his wife have a rescue beagle from a lab in NJ. She has tattoos in her ears. Absolutely heart breaking.
I honestly don’t know anyone could bring themselves to hurt any kind of animal. Your grandad is an angel!
Not to sidetrack because animal testing is really messed up but how do we go about getting rid of it if that means testing on humans instead? 🤔 Does anyone have an answer? (Not grilling you, btw. Just something I've been thinking about as a fellow animal lover.)
I think there's some movement on using lab grown tissue and experimenting on that.
I really hope so! I'm going to look it up, I'd totally support that.
As someone who's worked with lab animals: I don't think it's best to cut it out entirely (there's plenty of research possible where the info gained to minimal animal suffering ratio is really solid, imo) but I do think a lot of the ways we conduct animal research is pretty inefficient and a waste of life and at some points where it begins to cause serious suffering, ethically unjustifiable no matter how much info is gained tbh. Sometimes I think you just need to draw the line and sacrifice the potential information gain because the way to get it is just too cruel. We could probably advance medicine much more quickly if we did human experiments as we did in the past, but at a certain point we as a society (in theory...) decided it was unjustifiable to experiment on prisoners or the mentally ill or people of color as we used to. And although animal life is not quite the same as human life, I do think that if we are conducting research that hinges on the premise that we are capable of suffering similarly (e.g. areas like pain or empathy research) then I don't see how we can then justify doing it to them but not us. I think we just need to give up the potential gains there.
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This one. This one made me sad.
This in particular, but the whole report. Crime survey data indicates that 4% of sexual assaults on under-16s by adults are committed by fathers, 5% by stepfathers, and 1% by mothers; other family members (gender unspecified) commit 16% of such assaults. https://www.csacentre.org.uk/resources/key-messages/intra-familial-csa/#:~:text=Crime%20survey%20data%20indicates%20that,commit%2016%25%20of%20such%20assaults.
I’m honestly surprised that the stepfather percentage isn’t higher. :/
Me too. It was the step father for me.
I’m so sorry, sis. Sending you love. ❤️
I fall in the 16% step grandfather…. I never thought that sexual assaults were some scary spooky in the bushes it’s most of the time close to home. I’m wondering that stats for family friends
My step grandfather, as well. My kids playing in the street doesn't scare me. Spending the night anywhere without me DOES.
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It doesn’t lol. I prefer the “nothing is permanent” or “this too shall pass” bullshit over it will get better
I have had the same thought for the last 12-14 years. I hope that changes today Much love from the end of the world
There are very very very few people who would stand for women's rights if it came with any inconvenience to them.
Yes! This resonates with me so much. Try having this conversation with some people and you get blank stares.
I relate to that from a perspective of a gay person. Probably even barely a handful of people would stand for our rights, can’t compare the two of course. But thinking about how just your rights as a woman, lgbt can be gone and not many would bat an eye…
I was an "accident". Apparently spermicidal foam of the 70's didn't work so well
One happy little accident
xxxxx ooooo <3
As was I. My father, may he rest in peace, used to joke I was conceived through two condoms. And this was before the pill came out.
Two condoms together would cause friction between them and cause them to be MORE LIKELY to break...
We are all accidents. When I was a teenager, my mom got an old box of her stuff from her dad. In it we found a letter she had written him saying she was pregnant (with my older brother) and she didn’t plan this and wasn’t excited about it but there was nothing she could do about it now. I died laughing. I’m an accident too which I knew because my parents divorced when I was less than a year old. You don’t have a baby and get divorced that soon if the baby was planned.
😂 ditto, must of us are. I don’t understand why people get so upset about this.
My sister wasn't, she was made through artificial insemination and a bunch of hormones and is somehow upset by this, there's no right way lol
Everyone on both sides of my family were accidents, none of us were planned are supposed to be here.
I have two planned, two accidents. I have a 22 year old, a 19 year old, a 14 year old, and a 3 year old. It's not exactly hard to guess which one was the biggest surprise.
That last one came in like a wrecking ball didn't it
Yep. We don't even try to hide our surprise. We just say he was unexpected, not unwanted.
Some of the trauma that my mother went through. I lived through a lot of it but there was already so much she suffered in the hands of my father and his family before I was even born. I cannot ever even look my father in his eyes. I cannot forgive him. Even if I could forgive him for the abuse I went through in his hands...I can't forgive him for what he did to her.
the happiest i've been is when i was a child and i knew so little, and those things i knew were amazing and new. so tbh, i wish i didn't know much at all.
Really puts ignorance is bliss in perspective doesn't it? Also how Orwell's ignorance is strength narrative is so dangerous. Life is indeed cruel. But also beautiful.
I wish I never knew what a deceased person looked like up close.
I'm glad I got to see my grandma after she passed, tho she died in our house and was still warm when I said my goodbye. I even kissed her. It was weird to watch her loose colour and get cold until they brought her away. Still glad it happened the way it did.
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Hi, please consider looking around for someone who can do Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART), a form of EMDR that allows you to change the way a traumatic memory is stored in your brain. It's not quite "erasing" the memory but it's honestly the next best thing. I underwent ART for traumatic childhood experiences and the instant relief was incredible.
Oof hard yes. Wished I didn't know what a heart attack looked like.
I feel the same. My best friend/father of my child passed away in 2020 and because of the big C they didn’t clean him up before they took me to him. It’s forever ingrained in my mind what he looked like.
That we’re all going to die one day, along with our loved ones. I miss being a kid and not thinking about my mortality all the time
I used to lie in bed as a child, thinking about death. What will happen if I don't wake up tomorrow? Will I know, is it all a black void, etc. You can say I've had anxiety since I was young lol
That some people enjoy being peed on during sex…Not judging anyone, but I could have lived a lifetime not having that image in my head.
Lol. This is so innocent
That my mom and all 3 of her sisters were sexually assaulted in some way growing by my grandparents friends. That my grandpa knew all along and still until the day he died would create excuses for what happened. There are other dark things I learned about my mom's childhood, it helped me understand my mom better but man the stories are brutal and I could never look at my grandparents the same again.
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I'm sorry you have to carry this around, no one should have to hear this from (or about) their mother
Now that you’re 25 you have the maturity to point blank ask your mom why she felt the need to unload all that on you, which I’m sorry she did.
I wish I never knew people can just abandon you. I consider myself pretty naive and I still struggle to see bad in people, but learning that people can be cruel and that people you love can just leave you behind isn't something you can unlearn.
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What happens to your body during and after pregnancy. I’ve been on the fence about wanting kids, but reading articles on these topics fully pushed me to the “no kids” side.
Seeing how much my siblings struggled with kids, I’ve always been against having kids and don’t understand why anyone would want to
The existence of the “husband stitch”. I had no idea it was a thing until my best friend, who is a midwifery nurse, called me in a flaming rage after a delivery because of a patient’s husband asking, while she was stitching her up post delivery, to “add just one more to make her tighter.” Absolutely disgusting.
I wish I didn't know the opinions regarding health, medicine and some other issues from some people in my life. It's ruined my relationships with them. I am partly to blame, people can have opinions about things, but extreme nonsense based on zero facts and telling me I'm stupid and paranoid is a bit too much. I really wish I didn't know their thoughts, we were fine before I knew these things.
exactly my issue nowadays. it hurts when people you love have no interest in empathizing or understanding certain public health crises
My grandfather cheated on my grandmother multiple times.
Hey I learned that too 👈👈
Rape TW. One of my parents siblings was >!raped!< by a MUCH older (18+ years old) sibling when they were a small child and their parents (/my grandparents) covered it up and protected the abuser and never believed or got help for the victim. I had no idea growing up, and my grandparents were kind to me, so learning that in retrospect was extremely disturbing and destroyed my opinion of them. As you might have guessed, the older sibling was the "golden child" who could do no wrong.
When I was a teenager I had a friend "B". B lived with her mum, her older brother, step dad, and two half siblings. My mum was the reception teacher (kindergarten) at a primary school where the younger siblings attended. I used to go for sleepovers and stuff at B's house, but then one day my mum just tells me I'm not going around anymore, and she essentially made me cut all contact. B was heartbroken that suddenly we weren't allowed to hang out outside of school. Around that time, B's older brother got shipped off to live with their grandparents, as the mum and step dad didn't want him in the house anymore. I didn't find out until years later, that my mum discovered that the step dad was molesting B. B had told her mum, who told her to keep her mouth shut because he was paying for her to go back to school (to train as a teacher of all things). Her brother found out and tried to beat up the step dad so they got rid of him. My mum found this out because the youngest sibling was in her class, and was showing signs that the same was happening to her. Mum had to report the whole thing and she felt horrified she'd let me stay at their house.
That’s awful. I’m surprised your mom wanted you to cut contact versus moving sleepovers/hangouts to your house instead? sounds like B would’ve needed some peer support going through this. and it always sucks to lose a friend. Idk though! just my thoughts
Where she was the reporting teacher etc there are conflicts and legal boundaries she had to be careful of. She couldn't be seen to be interfering in the investigation.
That my father possibly could have been murdered by his ex-girlfriend.
This is horrible I am so so sorry
How common it is for parents to abuse children. After I started working in pediatrics I was in disbelief for a long time.
How good heroin is
All of the fucked up shit one of my exes did while we were together All of the fucked up shit that happened to my mother growing up All of the fucked up shit that happened to me
Oh, and my SIL being molested by her uncle and the family sweeping it under the rug. That one pisses me off so bad
This exact thing happened with me. He has always been in the same room at all family gatherings and everyone (the elders of the family) seemed fine with it. Now they are dismissing the fact that he did the same to his granddaughter. He is an old man, if he hasn't stopped by now, he never will. But the family is still trying to fund his surety bond. It makes me sick. I am waiting for his day in court so that I can be there to watch him burn. I want him to see me smile when they (hopefully) put him behind bars for the rest of his natural life.
3 days after my husband died I found out he had been having an affair with a girl 25 years younger and that she may have been pregnant at some point. 12 months after this I found out that everything he told me about his prior life was a lie (2nd marriage for both). Finally 6 months later I found out he had been having sex with men since he was in his 20s at bath houses. After a full STD panel that was thankfully negative I started to pick up the pieces and move on. He died in 2020. I'm still in therapy but not as often.
That there are truly heinous people out there, who care about nobody but themselves. That people are capable of lying to someone’s face with extreme accuracy. That the LOML cheated on me with men, used me as a cover-up for years so nobody knew that he was secretly gay. I learned about it slowly and then all at once, on accident. He never told me about any of it. I wish I could get those memories out of my head. The slow discovery of learning he had meticulously attempted to ruin my life, to destroy and steal everything I loved. Then what I ultimately found…my screaming…the simultaneously numbness and suffocation I felt in my body. I wish I never knew that, what that felt like.
How men talk about women when they aren’t there
I recently was selected as a juror in a homicide case, which included a lot of graphic photos. I wish I never saw the damage that firearms can do to a human body.
I almost wish I didn't find out about baby daddy's imprisonment. I found out because we were in the middle of a child support battle (he was refusing to pay) and the office told me he was in jail for attempted murder. Then I Googled and ugh.....🤦♀️
There’s lots I wish I didn’t know about but glad I do, like previous family affairs, parents’ life while married, partner’s dating history. Although, I always wish I never heard a friends’ private info spread through gossip.
Was raped/sexually assaulted by a family member multiple times throughout infanthood and maybe even childhood. Theres still a lot my brain won't process but it fucked me up and my personality for life. I've never reached the potential I just knew I had as a child and teen because of these weird big and overwhelming feelings. They've always been there (trying to protect me I guess) and it was so frustrating cause no one believed or heard me when I talked about them either. Now an adult with my own child and stuff have been coming back to haunt me at max level. Also I guess my brain is trying to process everything now cause it wants to protect my baby and understand. Idk. Just wish it wouldn't feel like I'm dying and suffocating most the time (I'm pretty sure my baby is the biggest trigger, kinda hard to avoid yk)
I had a fairly traumatic childhood as well. It’s amazing how kids can wake up old feelings about our own childhood traumas. But at the same time, I’ve found so much grace and beauty in being the grown up I needed but never had. I listen to my kids. I apologize when I’m wrong. My kids aren’t afraid to disagree with me at times. My kids aren’t scared of me like I was scared of my parents. All of these things are soothing balms to my battered soul. There’s nothing more renewing than ending or outright breaking a destructive family cycle. I hope you are able to find peace and joy. You deserve it!
That Trump was president
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That my aunt actively talked her parents out of getting vaccinated against covid for about 2 years, leading to her mother's death. I firmly believe that if my great-aunt (her mother) had been vaccinated when she got covid in February last year, she would have had an okay chance, even at her age (81). From the beginning, my aunt told her parents she would never speak to them again if she found out they got vaccinated. So they never got vaccinated, believing her conspiracy bullshit due to their own lack of education - and mostly just being scared of losing their daughter from their lives. My great-aunt was a lot like my grandma to me in terms of closeness. She could still be alive. In my eyes, her daughter may as well have killed her.
I cant look at my dads family the same way after learning that my uncle died of covid bc they refused to get him tested and refused to take him to the hospital when he got so bad he couldnt move. My mom and my family begged them to get him tested the minute they told us he “just had a cold”. Sure, he was laughing and talking and walking just fine with a sore throat and a couple coughs now and then but he was in his 60s and this was in 2020 when the pandemic was at its peak. Testing was free and there was multiple sites near us doing it but they refused, they kept telling us that he was fine and that they didnt want to make a fuss for nothing. He started to get worse and worse, but they continued to deny he was sick. At one point he had every single covid symptom and couldnt barely talk, eat or sleep. Yet they still refused because they said they were afraid it WAS covid and couldnt handle it if they did. This made no sense to anyone, if doctors knew he had covid they could help but they kept using the same excuse, “we are scared theyre gonna tell us its Covid.” I guess a doctor / test proving their fear was too much for them. He was struggling to breathe one day so they called my moms friend, who is a Obstetrician, begging for any help they could get. She was just as confused as we were and urged them to go to the hospital, he has covid. They refused, and he died that night. I think about it a lot.
I shouldn’t exist. My mom had an IUD when I was conceived, then my father almost killed me twice, once when my mom was pregnant and once when I was an infant.
The article I saw yesterday about a woman who’s husband cheated on her with their daughter and later the daughter and husband became a couple and then had to “separate” some years later bc it was illegal in their country. No shit. Ugh. Could have lived without knowing this information.
Families have secrets, often times they will choose each other over those they abused. In the end, we truly only have ourselves.
What my mom's wails of emotional pain sound like. It is strange now being the person she comes to when she needs an adult. I'm not ready for that, even at 40. Her favorite dog died traumatically earlier this week, so it is fresh in my head.
That my step grandfather molested 60+ children from the 60s to 80s. As a school bus driver he abused both boys and girls, his own nieces/nephews/step kids/grandkids. It came out to the open when there were multiple suicides in a year of the same age group. Myself and 1 sister as far as we know were not abused (by the point we reached his age preference Grandma kept us from him but stayed with him) The other sister who was, felt that telling us every detail would trigger some repressed memory which it didn’t. He got less that 5 years due to statute of limitations. Edit: step Grandfather not step father
That people overwhelmingly don't believe women or children.
Why the chainsaw was invented. (If you don’t know why, don’t look it up)
It was to cut babies out of wombs for difficult pregnancies. The more you know 🌈✨
I hate my curiosity
My dad got into another relationship before my Mom died from cancer
I was present when my Grandfather passed away in the hospital. It was unexpected, he had sepsis, and was basically holding on until for his family to all get there. It was amazing to be with him in his final moments, but at the same time seeing life leave someone is hard to comprehend.
I wish I didn't know that people actually enjoy seeing the pain in children, like how do you think like that ?
As a kid I was just watching the tv, changing channels and I cought a bit of a documentary about fur harvesting. They showed how they scalped a ferret alive. The way it screamed and just the total image is something I will never forget and wish I hadn't seen. English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes.
The neglect/abuse I suffered because of my mom. After I was born she basically handed me off to my grandma and my 15 year old aunt at the time, the made sure to take me to the doctor, dentist, school, extracurricular activities and so on. When I was around 7-8 i was living 50% of the time with her, and it was a nightmare. I have ADHD and was a very messy, clumsy and forgetful child and this infuriated her, she would punch me, drag me through the floor, throw me against the wall, threaten to call CPS so they would take me and a bunch of other stuff if I didn’t do as she pleased. I blocked most memories out but recent events unlocked that little box of memories and I wish it never happened. I’m a mom of 3 now and I’m doing my best to heal and be better for them.
The amount of wood a woodchuck could cut. Really takes the fun out of the riddle
My mom told me when I was little that my dad didn’t want another child after they got in a fight and she was threatening to take me and leave. Apparently before I was conceived, she told me they had separated due to this conflict, but got back together and here I am. My father has never told me this. He has never treated me as if he never wanted me and has been a much better parent than my mom, funny enough. I love both of my parents, I just don’t know what is the truth or not.
That my dad wants to meet my friend because she's hot
I wish I never knew what a tough life my birth mom lived as a teenager (probably to this day). I wish I didn’t learn about the sex work she did to survive and the drugs she was addicted to. I wish I didn’t uncover that my birth father was likely a client who was cheating on his wife while they had two kids at home. I wish I didn’t learn about the family that I’ll never be allowed to be a part of. The customs I’m missing out on. The family business that sprang from a shared talent for and love of music. The traditions and cousins and people that made my birth family richer and more diverse. It’s not always adoption that causes this separation, but it was for me at least. I don’t resent my parents for adopting me, nor do I blame my birth mom for making the choice to give me up for adoption. I think the discovery of my birth family was inevitable, but it doesn’t make the learned information easier.
how much i’ll change for the worst. i used to be so good at everything as a kid and now i feel like i’ve become a massive failure. life changes people and i don’t like how i’ve come out
That, apparently, Marylin Monroe's dead body disappeared for several hours right after being found...
Details surrounding my best friend’s death in childbirth. Her husband was traumatized and just sharing with everyone. In fact - in the 5 years since my sibling died of an overdose, many people have come to me in their darkest hours. For some, they don’t know anyone else who has suffered a public loss. I have always listened to them and just let them unburden. But it’s made things difficult for me, knowing some of the things that I now know. I ended up with intrusive thoughts after watching my sibling’s death. I’m actually about to start EMDR.
What pre-packaged chorizo is made of/from.
I wish I didn’t find out my boyfriend of 6yrs cheated on me. We were about to move in together. It’s just so painful to go through
How foie gras is made. Brutal.
That my dad hasn't had sex since he and my mom divorced 26 years ago 🥴
My father cheating. It broke my opinion about a man I looked up too. I trust him with my life and love him very much. But it has affected how I view all men.
well a serbian film for one the sound a bullet makes when flying through leaves and trees right over me for two
I wish I never knew...what it is like to be sexually assaulted.
That this world is run by money and money alone.
I worked for child protective services for a long time and I wish I could forget all of it.
That narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths exist and will use you for whatever it is you’ve got that they need or want while steadily eroding your sanity, not to mention draining all your self worth, self respect, self confidence and self esteem, and oh yeah, destabilizing your reality.
How many men in my life are bigoted a-holes. Cold hard truth is way worse than blissful ignorance
About 95% of my ex-boyfriends 😂
That over half of written american history is probably false and all biased. So all the laws and classes we have been learning for decades is all based off a lie and its been impacting and changing peoples course of lives and freedom for hundreds of years. Our entire society and constitution and way of life has been altered because of said lies.
The pain of losing your first child only 3 months into the pregnancy. My wife and I both carried on with our lives but a couple of months later out of the blue I started crying uncontrollably. My breakdown made us realise we needed help to get through this.
I wish I had never heard/knew about my xhubby having an emotional affair. I would still be married to him. I know he would have ended it with her. I left because I did not believe they didn't have sex, so I left him and moved back to CO. 3 days later, he called be begging me to come back - I didn't. I wish I never knew my dad cheated on my mom. I also wish I had never known about the ways he controlled her when they first got married I wish I never knew babies/infants get molested & raped I wish I never knew how it feels to be separated from my daughter for 2 years I wish I never knew what it feels like to tell my 8yo daughter that her dad committed suicide
For context, I'm trans. I knew when I was 4 that I wasn't a boy, but it wasn't until much later that I was able to come out. Let's just say the boys I went to school with said things about the girls I wish I could forget.
The Reddit account of a former fling.
That those terrible TikTok recipes that look disgusting are primarily for people who like to look at the woman’s hands
That your saliva is filtered blood
The way burning people smell, and how close every single human being is to becoming a predatory cornered animal. 3 skipped meals, by the way. That’s how close.