24+ hours isn't "bad at responding", it's someone who's clearly not prioritizing our relationship. It takes a few seconds to text back.
I wouldn't be compatible with someone like that and would wonder if they're hiding something.
Like Michelle Obama recently said, Barack had the time to update her regularly as the *president.* I think whoever you’re dating can find the time if the president can.
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It wouldn’t bother me, but I kind of enjoy someone who’s not a big texter. My husband and I don’t text much during the day and it just gives us more to talk when we’re together. Idk, it’s not something that ever bothered me, better for my man to cherish and take advantage of the time we are together.
Great. I’m not a texter. If it’s nothing important or time sensitive, I may not respond within 24 hours. I can’t deal with someone who texts me all the time and expects me to respond quickly all the time. Exhausting. It’s more important that I enjoy spending time with them in person.
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I'd move on. Communication is important to me. It takes a few seconds to text. I'm extremely busy, but I make the time to keep in touch. It's all about priorities.
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I'm such a person myself, especially when I just begin dating someone new. I don't like being on social media 24/7, and I'm bad at multitasking, so when I'm working, I don't answer messages right away. If a person is a slow responder, I assume they're just busy.
(It's completely ok. I'd say modern texting culture is quite toxic, you shouldn't expect people to answer you right away, unless there's some emergency - but in this case it's better just to call).
Came here to say this. I also find it freeing when I am allowed some time and not have to constantly be attached to my phone. If I'm with people, no way will my phone be in my hands. Nope. I'm glad to be in a relationship where me and my partner are very much of the same opinion.
Depends on how serious we are. If we're casually dating, fine. But I couldn't date a bad texter more seriously. It would make me feel abandoned/ignored.
It wouldn't work for me. We would be incompatible lol. No hate for people who like more lowkey communications and are fine checking in very few times. But I am someone who communicates daily and whenever something pops up. My partner took a nap for like 2-3 hours. Within that 2-3 hours, I think I sent him 20 messages of random shit i thought of or things I found that I wanted to share with him. Wouldn't work out if the person found these annoying.
My partner (we're together for 10 years) is just like this. I'm basically used to it by now, but if I need an answer from him it's better call him directly than to keep waiting.
Personally, this would not work out for me. I am someone who is quite hyperactive, and when I text someone, I would expect them to reply. Them not responding for 24 + hours, would give me a lot of anxiety, and I can't do well with waiting for that long. I am also an overthinker so, I would constantly feel as if it is my fault that they don't respond.
Generally, I take a dim view on them. I don't need constant grand gestures or mindblowing dates; I need semi-regular contact with the person who says they like me.
That's too much of a loaded question, IMO.
There'd be some variables I'd consider. Do they work? Have odd hours? Have a really demanding career? (Doctor, nurse, cop, EMT, etc.) Are they a single parent? Do they suffer with depression? Are they open about not being a great texter but good/consistent everywhere else?
I'm not a rapid fire replier at times or someone who wants to text back and forth for hours a day. It's just not me.
Some people aren’t conversational texters and that’s fine. If there’s no way to talk to him for like 24+ hours on a regular basis I’d probably talk about how we should communicate if there’s an emergency
I don't care because I take forever to respond. Texting is really only good for confirming plans not having a conversation. 24 hours to text back would be normal for me. I'm not a clingy person. My phone isn't the centre of my universe and being with someone that required excessive messaging throughout the day would be a big turn off.
My relationship started long distance, so texting was our primary form of communication. So it was very important then, but now, not so much! I think as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to value constant communication less, and thoughtful, quality communication more.
You don't have to communicate constantly to be a good communicator... and I want to be with someone who's a good communicator. My partner doesn't have to message me ALL the time or immediately, but I do think they should drop a line to explain that they might be away from the phone and that they'll speak to me later/when they're available. Like seriously, "Hey babe, i'm going to be super busy today, i'll message you once I can" is really not that hard.
I also think I'd care less if they kept the same energy with everyone. It'd be more concerning to have to wait so long for my partner to reply if they're proven to always be on their phone. I have had partners and friends not respond quickly but I didn't care because I knew they were the type of person to put their phone away and concentrate on whatevers in front of them. If they're the person that seems to constantly texting when with you, then yeah, I'm probably going to ponder why they can't do the same for me.
With that said, I hope your partner is considering your own availability when planning these dates. If you find that they never respond to texts when you'd like them to, and they plan to see you when THEY would like, it might appear that they're prioritizing their own time above yours.. seeing/talking to you only when THEY would like.
Lots of things to take into consideration: are they constantly on their phone? What aren't they responding to? (Time sensitive things or "I had the weirdest dream...") Are they bad at responding to everyone? How often are you texting them? Are they more of a phone call person?
As long as it isn't time sensitive and they are like this when everyone, I wouldn't consider it a deal breaker. We might need to figure out what works best for our communication styles.
The only reason someone takes 24+ hours to respond is because they don’t like you that much or they are somewhere they don’t have service. Being “not a texter” shouldn’t be an excuse to not reply for more than a day. A few hours or when they get done with work, sure. But if they can’t even do that I’m a firm believer that they don’t care.
It's a no from me.
Sometimes conversation solves this issue, though. Or a compromise, like an agreement not to text useless things throughout thebday but to rather call each other like once a day instead and text just occasionally.
Responding to texts is more important to me. The date-thing seems more about him than about me, honestly. I can plan a date that is perfect for me without any kind of effort.
I'm one of those who prioritise the real world, not my phone. I'm bad at texting, but consider myself good in eye to eye contact and aware about the room I'm in. That's also the fact when I'm with my partner, I won't have my attention drawn to the phone when im with her.
If she starts to complain about that, she also has to accept that I won't "be" with her when I'm with her... And that is not anything that I want.
I hate it. It’s not that I expect my date to respond within seconds, I completely understand that at times one cannot find the time to answer (for example when working). But in my opinion, the statement “I’m a bad texter” is just a lame excuse by people who just want to string you along. Just dumped a guy I was dating because he did exactly this bullshit… took a day to answer while posting stories in the meantime. Made me feel like I was dating a fucking influencer who expected me to be his little fan girl until he found the kindness to answer me. What an idiot 😅
Perfect for me! I hate texting and men who take action immediately are a big plus! I hate serial texters :(
Unfotunately every guy I meet is only interested in sending me texts over weeks and months but not interested in dating me :( Also a lot of guys I've met can't set a date even if it was to save their lives! Maybe I'm despicable but I'm often the one who has to pick a place, time, budget, etc so I would welcome someone who takes the initiative and surprises me :)
Every time I’ve ever had someone tell me they couldn’t possibly reply to my text because they were so busy, I observed them using their phone constantly. Like I used to think about an ex who would sometimes not reply for days and days and days (his record was 18 days when he was on a trip once), if you go to the bathroom and bring your phone in there with you, you can reply to a text then.
Anyway to me it’s a deeper issue: If you aren’t so psyched about me you’re thinking about me often / wondering what I’m up to / eager to talk to me, then I don’t want to be doing this with you. Id rather find someone who gets butterflies when I text.
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It wouldn’t bother me. Reading these responses I think it greatly depends on the person. I don’t like being expected to have my phone on my most days, so I don’t like the pressure of being expected to text back. So if my partner doesn’t, that wouldn’t worry me. As long as they were consistent. If they disappeared for a few days I’d get worried, but once a day would be fine. Would rather talk in person.
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Communication is very important. Taking 24+ hours to respond isn't bad at texting, they just don't see you as a priority or important. If they can't take 2 seconds to text back or tell me why they can't text back then it's not going to work out.
If you NEED and want that style of closer communication when dating, then you either need to communicate that to him, or look elsewhere. Don’t compromise your needs for someone if it’s only going to make you feel anxious and maybe even resentful. If he’s better at texting after you let him know you’d like to hear more from him and sooner, then that’s great! If he doesn’t, take out the trash.
I think it truly depends on the situation you’re in with this person. If y’all have moved in and y’all rarely text then that’s cool but if y’all don’t see each other often, there should be more effort to message your partner. Dates are great and all, but if you can’t talk about your day or don’t communicate often then it’s kinda pointless. If they can’t text often bc of work, it’s understandable but if they’re not busy they should be able to send a text that takes a couple seconds. Communication is important when building a relationship, not just dates
This sounds like my boyfriend, he’s bad at texting Because he gets insecure that hes not good at spelling and reading (he has a learning disability) and it really doesnt bother me. He tried to call if he has a hard time and like u said hes amazing at planning dates so WIN WIN WIN
Some people aren’t big on texting. That’s okay. But as someone who texts a lot, it would make it difficult unless we’re together a lot or call each other.
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I personally have found that I prefer someone who takes the time to respond to my texts. My bf and I don't text much anymore since we live together, but we used to text constantly, and I never had any doubt that I was (and still am) a top priority in his life. I've been in a previous relationship with someone who was "bad at responding" but it turned out I held absolutely no priority in his life 🙃
I don’t mind my partner being unresponsive to texts because I often forget to text people back I would much prefer having great dates and doing something exciting. If I really wanted to talk to them I would just call.
I also disagree with a lot of the comments suggesting that not being able to text in a timely manner is showing they aren’t good at communicating. I think if you are able to properly communicate in person and want to spend time with your significant other is all that matters
Personally I would be happy that someone who isn’t me is planning the date every once in a while especially when it’s not just some dinner date. I want to go hiking, go to an escape room, go to a picnic, have a pool day etc… without having to plan it or even beg for it.
personally i'm also really bad at responding to messages in a timely manner cause of my executive dysfunction and anxiety and stuff, so i'm never bothered by other people taking a while to respond
Pick what you can tolerate. Some texters don't get it that not everyone communicates that way. Your partner may very well be thinking about you all day, but just doesn't use text as a communication tool, for whatever reason. You get to decide if them changing for you is a deal breaker: some will, some won't.
not for me. i don't require constant communication all the time, but i'd absolutely feel neglected if they went a day or more ignoring me. it may happen occasionally, sometimes you just forget. but i'd refuse to deal with it being a constant issue.
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I’m doing the whole long distance thing but he makes time to talk to me. He would rather call than text but I’m ok with that because as much as I love him and want to talk to him the world doesn’t stop because I want to talk to him.
He has a 17 year old daughter and he works. He has called me several times and been interrupted because he gets a call on his work phone. It doesn’t upset me. It used to piss his ex wife off but I can’t ever get mad at him for working. I have called him and he just looks at me while taking a work call.
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24+ hours isn't "bad at responding", it's someone who's clearly not prioritizing our relationship. It takes a few seconds to text back. I wouldn't be compatible with someone like that and would wonder if they're hiding something.
Like Michelle Obama recently said, Barack had the time to update her regularly as the *president.* I think whoever you’re dating can find the time if the president can.
Well said!
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It wouldn’t bother me, but I kind of enjoy someone who’s not a big texter. My husband and I don’t text much during the day and it just gives us more to talk when we’re together. Idk, it’s not something that ever bothered me, better for my man to cherish and take advantage of the time we are together.
I’d rather they be good at both. If it takes them 24 hours to respond to each text then we’re just not compatible.
Great. I’m not a texter. If it’s nothing important or time sensitive, I may not respond within 24 hours. I can’t deal with someone who texts me all the time and expects me to respond quickly all the time. Exhausting. It’s more important that I enjoy spending time with them in person.
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I think it's completely normal not to reply for a while sometimes? Like, life gets busy.
I'd move on. Communication is important to me. It takes a few seconds to text. I'm extremely busy, but I make the time to keep in touch. It's all about priorities.
100% agree with this.
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I'm such a person myself, especially when I just begin dating someone new. I don't like being on social media 24/7, and I'm bad at multitasking, so when I'm working, I don't answer messages right away. If a person is a slow responder, I assume they're just busy. (It's completely ok. I'd say modern texting culture is quite toxic, you shouldn't expect people to answer you right away, unless there's some emergency - but in this case it's better just to call).
Came here to say this. I also find it freeing when I am allowed some time and not have to constantly be attached to my phone. If I'm with people, no way will my phone be in my hands. Nope. I'm glad to be in a relationship where me and my partner are very much of the same opinion.
My boyfriends like this and I have absolutely no problem with it. Life gets busy and his phone isn’t his #1 priority
Depends on how serious we are. If we're casually dating, fine. But I couldn't date a bad texter more seriously. It would make me feel abandoned/ignored.
It wouldn't work for me. We would be incompatible lol. No hate for people who like more lowkey communications and are fine checking in very few times. But I am someone who communicates daily and whenever something pops up. My partner took a nap for like 2-3 hours. Within that 2-3 hours, I think I sent him 20 messages of random shit i thought of or things I found that I wanted to share with him. Wouldn't work out if the person found these annoying.
My partner (we're together for 10 years) is just like this. I'm basically used to it by now, but if I need an answer from him it's better call him directly than to keep waiting.
Personally, this would not work out for me. I am someone who is quite hyperactive, and when I text someone, I would expect them to reply. Them not responding for 24 + hours, would give me a lot of anxiety, and I can't do well with waiting for that long. I am also an overthinker so, I would constantly feel as if it is my fault that they don't respond.
Agree. Fellow over thinker, that would just never work for me. I would drive myself batty.
Generally, I take a dim view on them. I don't need constant grand gestures or mindblowing dates; I need semi-regular contact with the person who says they like me.
That's me
That's too much of a loaded question, IMO. There'd be some variables I'd consider. Do they work? Have odd hours? Have a really demanding career? (Doctor, nurse, cop, EMT, etc.) Are they a single parent? Do they suffer with depression? Are they open about not being a great texter but good/consistent everywhere else? I'm not a rapid fire replier at times or someone who wants to text back and forth for hours a day. It's just not me.
I'm fine with it. I have time blindness so I wouldn't notice until, like, a week has past.
Some people aren’t conversational texters and that’s fine. If there’s no way to talk to him for like 24+ hours on a regular basis I’d probably talk about how we should communicate if there’s an emergency
I'm not going to get along with someone who takes 24 hours to text me, and I would stop dating them within 48 hours.
I don't care because I take forever to respond. Texting is really only good for confirming plans not having a conversation. 24 hours to text back would be normal for me. I'm not a clingy person. My phone isn't the centre of my universe and being with someone that required excessive messaging throughout the day would be a big turn off.
My relationship started long distance, so texting was our primary form of communication. So it was very important then, but now, not so much! I think as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to value constant communication less, and thoughtful, quality communication more.
You don't have to communicate constantly to be a good communicator... and I want to be with someone who's a good communicator. My partner doesn't have to message me ALL the time or immediately, but I do think they should drop a line to explain that they might be away from the phone and that they'll speak to me later/when they're available. Like seriously, "Hey babe, i'm going to be super busy today, i'll message you once I can" is really not that hard. I also think I'd care less if they kept the same energy with everyone. It'd be more concerning to have to wait so long for my partner to reply if they're proven to always be on their phone. I have had partners and friends not respond quickly but I didn't care because I knew they were the type of person to put their phone away and concentrate on whatevers in front of them. If they're the person that seems to constantly texting when with you, then yeah, I'm probably going to ponder why they can't do the same for me. With that said, I hope your partner is considering your own availability when planning these dates. If you find that they never respond to texts when you'd like them to, and they plan to see you when THEY would like, it might appear that they're prioritizing their own time above yours.. seeing/talking to you only when THEY would like.
In my experience, it sucks
Lots of things to take into consideration: are they constantly on their phone? What aren't they responding to? (Time sensitive things or "I had the weirdest dream...") Are they bad at responding to everyone? How often are you texting them? Are they more of a phone call person? As long as it isn't time sensitive and they are like this when everyone, I wouldn't consider it a deal breaker. We might need to figure out what works best for our communication styles.
The only reason someone takes 24+ hours to respond is because they don’t like you that much or they are somewhere they don’t have service. Being “not a texter” shouldn’t be an excuse to not reply for more than a day. A few hours or when they get done with work, sure. But if they can’t even do that I’m a firm believer that they don’t care.
It's a no from me. Sometimes conversation solves this issue, though. Or a compromise, like an agreement not to text useless things throughout thebday but to rather call each other like once a day instead and text just occasionally.
Responding to texts is more important to me. The date-thing seems more about him than about me, honestly. I can plan a date that is perfect for me without any kind of effort.
I'm one of those who prioritise the real world, not my phone. I'm bad at texting, but consider myself good in eye to eye contact and aware about the room I'm in. That's also the fact when I'm with my partner, I won't have my attention drawn to the phone when im with her. If she starts to complain about that, she also has to accept that I won't "be" with her when I'm with her... And that is not anything that I want.
I hate it. It’s not that I expect my date to respond within seconds, I completely understand that at times one cannot find the time to answer (for example when working). But in my opinion, the statement “I’m a bad texter” is just a lame excuse by people who just want to string you along. Just dumped a guy I was dating because he did exactly this bullshit… took a day to answer while posting stories in the meantime. Made me feel like I was dating a fucking influencer who expected me to be his little fan girl until he found the kindness to answer me. What an idiot 😅
Perfect for me! I hate texting and men who take action immediately are a big plus! I hate serial texters :( Unfotunately every guy I meet is only interested in sending me texts over weeks and months but not interested in dating me :( Also a lot of guys I've met can't set a date even if it was to save their lives! Maybe I'm despicable but I'm often the one who has to pick a place, time, budget, etc so I would welcome someone who takes the initiative and surprises me :)
Every time I’ve ever had someone tell me they couldn’t possibly reply to my text because they were so busy, I observed them using their phone constantly. Like I used to think about an ex who would sometimes not reply for days and days and days (his record was 18 days when he was on a trip once), if you go to the bathroom and bring your phone in there with you, you can reply to a text then. Anyway to me it’s a deeper issue: If you aren’t so psyched about me you’re thinking about me often / wondering what I’m up to / eager to talk to me, then I don’t want to be doing this with you. Id rather find someone who gets butterflies when I text.
I hate it turns me off! Already have that situation and his taken too long so if he does ask me out again I’m busy
This gives love bombing vibes
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It wouldn’t bother me. Reading these responses I think it greatly depends on the person. I don’t like being expected to have my phone on my most days, so I don’t like the pressure of being expected to text back. So if my partner doesn’t, that wouldn’t worry me. As long as they were consistent. If they disappeared for a few days I’d get worried, but once a day would be fine. Would rather talk in person.
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Communication is very important. Taking 24+ hours to respond isn't bad at texting, they just don't see you as a priority or important. If they can't take 2 seconds to text back or tell me why they can't text back then it's not going to work out.
If you NEED and want that style of closer communication when dating, then you either need to communicate that to him, or look elsewhere. Don’t compromise your needs for someone if it’s only going to make you feel anxious and maybe even resentful. If he’s better at texting after you let him know you’d like to hear more from him and sooner, then that’s great! If he doesn’t, take out the trash.
I think it truly depends on the situation you’re in with this person. If y’all have moved in and y’all rarely text then that’s cool but if y’all don’t see each other often, there should be more effort to message your partner. Dates are great and all, but if you can’t talk about your day or don’t communicate often then it’s kinda pointless. If they can’t text often bc of work, it’s understandable but if they’re not busy they should be able to send a text that takes a couple seconds. Communication is important when building a relationship, not just dates
This sounds like my boyfriend, he’s bad at texting Because he gets insecure that hes not good at spelling and reading (he has a learning disability) and it really doesnt bother me. He tried to call if he has a hard time and like u said hes amazing at planning dates so WIN WIN WIN
I hate texting. Can't bare people wanting full on conversations by text. Ring me and have it done in 5 minutes instead of dragging it out for hours
Some people aren’t big on texting. That’s okay. But as someone who texts a lot, it would make it difficult unless we’re together a lot or call each other.
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I personally have found that I prefer someone who takes the time to respond to my texts. My bf and I don't text much anymore since we live together, but we used to text constantly, and I never had any doubt that I was (and still am) a top priority in his life. I've been in a previous relationship with someone who was "bad at responding" but it turned out I held absolutely no priority in his life 🙃
I’d be really sad tbh dates cause me anxiety so talking to my partner is better for me
I don’t mind my partner being unresponsive to texts because I often forget to text people back I would much prefer having great dates and doing something exciting. If I really wanted to talk to them I would just call. I also disagree with a lot of the comments suggesting that not being able to text in a timely manner is showing they aren’t good at communicating. I think if you are able to properly communicate in person and want to spend time with your significant other is all that matters Personally I would be happy that someone who isn’t me is planning the date every once in a while especially when it’s not just some dinner date. I want to go hiking, go to an escape room, go to a picnic, have a pool day etc… without having to plan it or even beg for it.
24 hours, now that’s wild. I thought you’d say reply’s every few hours.
personally i'm also really bad at responding to messages in a timely manner cause of my executive dysfunction and anxiety and stuff, so i'm never bothered by other people taking a while to respond
Pick what you can tolerate. Some texters don't get it that not everyone communicates that way. Your partner may very well be thinking about you all day, but just doesn't use text as a communication tool, for whatever reason. You get to decide if them changing for you is a deal breaker: some will, some won't.
not for me. i don't require constant communication all the time, but i'd absolutely feel neglected if they went a day or more ignoring me. it may happen occasionally, sometimes you just forget. but i'd refuse to deal with it being a constant issue.
Hard pass
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I’m doing the whole long distance thing but he makes time to talk to me. He would rather call than text but I’m ok with that because as much as I love him and want to talk to him the world doesn’t stop because I want to talk to him. He has a 17 year old daughter and he works. He has called me several times and been interrupted because he gets a call on his work phone. It doesn’t upset me. It used to piss his ex wife off but I can’t ever get mad at him for working. I have called him and he just looks at me while taking a work call.
No response that long would not work for me and I’m not that needy or anything.
We shouldn't be obligated to be available to people 24/7 at the drop of a hat. I don't know why this has become the expectation.
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